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April 19, 2025 13 mins

We explore the transformative power of choosing betterment over bitterness when life doesn't go as planned, featuring part of Sherry's personal journey of recovery from medical and other life events.

• Sherry shares how a series of small strokes affected her family life
• Learning to accept a new reality and choosing better over bitter
• How small daily actions compound into significant progress
• Practical strategies to combat bitterness including gratitude practices  
• Understanding neuroplasticity and how we can rewire our thoughts 
• The value of support systems and openly communicating

Choose better, not bitter. Keep going and growing. 

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sherry (00:00):
Welcome to.
This.
Is it podcast by ThrivingYinzers.
I'm Sherry

Jodi (00:04):
and I'm Jodi.
We're so glad you're here.

Sherry (00:07):
Life doesn't always go as planned, but we can choose
how we respond and keep movingforward.
Life can be really shitty attimes, but the thing to remember
is that when the hard times hit, we always have a choice Do we
let the hard times make usbitter or do we find a way to
get better?
Today we're talking about thatchoice and how it plays out in
everyday moments.

Jodi (00:28):
Yeah, it's helpful to remember.
We can't always control whathappens to us, but we can
control what happens next.
And, Sherry, you've beenthrough some life-changing
moments.
Is this sentiment part of yourstory?

Sherry (00:40):
Honestly, yes, it was exactly the perspective that got
me started healing after one ofthose crossroads.
I'm open to sharing some of myexperiences in case someone is
listening who can relate or canfind something useful to take
away from this episode.
Today, we're talking aboutturning bitterness into
betterment, and this is part ofmy story.

(01:00):
Like so many of us, I was goingthrough life on autopilot,
doing all the things, goingthrough the motions and never
really thinking about where Iwas heading.
There had been a lot ofpersonal, family and medical
challenges that had been pilingon, and I was just trying to get
through the day-to-day raisingfour children in a
non-traditional family situation, moving through grief and

(01:22):
working full-time through aserious facial pain problem.
But I thought, with all thethings considered, that I was
doing all right, and theneverything came to a stop when I
had a series of small strokesthat affected my balance, slowed
my cognitive processes, messedwith my emotions and my memory,
and, even though they were small, there were many and, due to

(01:45):
the location and type, theyreally derailed life as I knew
it at the time.
Don't get me wrong.
I definitely recognize that itcould have been so much worse
and I counted my blessings, butI still struggled with
acceptance.
I couldn't understand why, andI wanted someone to blame.

Jodi (01:59):
And this was right when your kids were at huge
transitions.
You have one starting highschool, one starting middle
school and one startingelementary school, and your
youngest starting kindergartenright?
Yes, it all started the weeksjust before school was starting,
and we all know how the startof the school year is already a
hectic time of transition.
.
.
Lots of moving parts andgetting used to new schedules

(02:22):
and routines.
And this time I wasn't evenhome.
When they started school thatyear I was still in the hospital
.
That was hard.
When I did come home, I wasjust kind of there like a shell
of myself.
I really still don't have theright words to explain it.
I was working through somehome-based OT, pt and speech and

(02:44):
later outpatient therapies, butI wasn't engaged the way I had
always been, the way my familywas used to.
I definitely wasn't even closeto functioning at the same
capacity and, though I wasgrateful, that was still
devastating to us as a family.
At the time, I felt scared andconfused.
My husband and kids wererattled, and so was I.

(03:07):
I really began to realize whatmy life had become leading up to
this incident and I was soangry and I really wanted to be
bitter.
I wanted to throw in the towel,I wanted to tell people off,
but instead I had chosen betterover bitter and I remembered my

(03:28):
dad's words this is it, and Irealized that the sooner I
accepted reality and rememberedhow grateful I was that I was
okay.
I had a lot of work ahead of me, but I was okay.
I was okay.
It could have been so muchworse and I chose to build on
that perspective.
I realized that getting angrywas pointless and finding ways

(03:50):
forward was my only choice.
Let's talk about that choice,because it wasn't an easy one.
What did it actually look liketo choose better?

Sherry (03:59):
In my case, it started with patience Patience with
myself and teaching my family tobe patient with me.
Patience with myself andteaching my family to be patient
with me, because my processeswere slowed.
The strokes caused enormousmood swings and an extremely
short fuse that grew out ofthose frustrations, and that
wasn't just hard on me, it washard on everyone around me, but

(04:20):
I had to recognize it, accept itand work on it.

Jodi (04:24):
And that's huge, because a lot of people get stuck in the
frustration of how things usedto be instead of working on
where they are now.

Sherry (04:32):
Yeah, I was definitely there.
But once I accepted the realityof it all, I also had to accept
help.
I had to wear a life alert fora short time because I was a
fall risk.
I wasn't allowed to be leftalone.
I couldn't drive, and forsomeone who had always been
independent and capable, thatwas hard.
But instead of staying bitterabout what I couldn't do, I

(04:54):
eventually focused on what Icould do to get better, and for
the first time in a long time, Iput my health first.
I had no other choice but totake care of myself before
anyone else, and I wasn't usedto that.
I wasn't used to depending ondifferent people either, but I
was grateful how each personshowed up in my life to support
me in ways that I didn't knowhow to ask for, but I definitely

(05:17):
needed.
And this gave me a deeperperspective of gratitude, which
helped me to replace thebitterness I felt for all of the
things that had been put on myplate before the strokes to my
motivation to do everything inmy control to get better.
My family had already beenthrough enough, and finger
pointing and blaming wasn'tgoing to do any good for any of

(05:38):
us, so I chose to go in thedirection of getting better
instead.

Jodi (05:43):
And this is where the compounding effect of choices
come in.
We are going to be talkingabout that a lot on this podcast
, because understanding that isa real game changer the little
things you did every day addedup right?

Sherry (06:00):
At first it was walking across the living room, then up
and down the hall, then aroundmy house and eventually walking
longer distances without gettinglightheaded or off balance.
Later it was showing up totherapies, practicing patience,
letting people help me, notgiving up.
Those little choices builtmomentum and over time, they
created a path that led me tostarting this podcast.

(06:21):
I'm still working around somemedical issues, but letting go
of the bitterness was what gaveme the space to begin to grow
and find a new way forward, evenif it was different from my old
life.

Jodi (06:33):
And on the flip side, we know that bitterness compounds
too.
If you had let yourself stay inthat frustration, it would have
kept growing.

Sherry (06:42):
That's why mindset is everything.
Bitterness keeps you stuck inthe past, but choosing to get
better, even in the smallestways, opens up possibilities you
can't even see yet.
And that's why I'm sharing thispart of my story now, even
though it has been almost sixyears ago.
It gave me such a changedperspective that I can
potentially help someone, and ifthat is true, then it's worth

(07:02):
sharing.
But looking back on it now, I'mnot stuck there anymore because
I turned my bitterness intobetterment, and you can too.
That being said, I don't mean toallude that there's any sort of
easy button.
It's not like you can justflick a switch, and each of our
journeys are our own.
But I do think that, no matterthe struggle, it happens on your

(07:27):
own timeline.
But I don't know how possibleit is to move forward through
bitterness.
I think that bitterness mightbe part of the process, but if
you truly want to heal, it can'tbe the place where you stay.
I think it sometimes feels likestrength holding onto that

(07:47):
anger, but over time it drainsyou and keeps you stuck.
I think real healing canfinally begin when we stop
feeding that bitterness.

Jodi (07:59):
Let's talk about some practical ways people can stop
bitterness before it takes root.
What helped you?

Sherry (08:04):
One big thing was recognizing the signs.
.
.
Resentment, playing the samenegative thoughts, comparing my
situation to others.
And at some point, anytime Icaught myself doing that, I
started asking is this thoughtreally making me better or is it
keeping me bitter.

Jodi (08:19):
I love that.
That's such a good filter.
When I start to really feelbitter or resentful, I try to
take a step back and ask myselfwhere it's truly coming from.
For me, switching the narrativeto something to think about and
ponder and question.
Usually it takes my anger downa notch.
I also started and ended eachday with gratitude, even when it

(08:43):
felt silly.
I remember the first dayswaking up in my own bed after
spending eight days in and outof the hospital over a 12-day
time span and I was literally sohappy I just woke up.
Bonus points for being in myown bed.
I started saying, as a reminder, to capture that feeling "Every
day you wake up is a good day.
There's always going to bestruggle and there will always

(09:06):
be hard times to face, no matterwhat, but just finding one or
two good things each day helpedshift my perspective.
And leaning on my supportsystem talking things out
instead of bottling them up madea huge difference.
Getting better isn't a one-timedecision.
It's a daily practice.

Sherry (09:23):
Yes, it's ongoing.
As a former teacher, I knewabout Carol Dweck's research on
neuroplasticity, which showsthat our brains are always
adapting.
We can literally rewire ourthoughts over time.
I used that research in theclassroom to help my students
trust themselves to learn mathwhen it felt uncomfortable, and

(09:44):
I applied it to my recoveryprocess.
Each small choice to moveforward, every time we refuse to
stay stuck or shaping the lifewe'll live five years from now.

Jodi (09:56):
So some final takeaways.
If someone listening right nowfeels stuck in bitterness, there
are things you can do to startshifting yourself from bitter to
better.
First asking yourself how do Iget out of this?
Not why did this happen to me,but how do I move forward?
That question changeseverything.
Then asking yourself what isthis trying to teach me?

(10:18):
I find posing this questionreally helps take my anger and
frustration down a notch.

Sherry (10:24):
Right and then, once you've reframed your thoughts,
you can then channel it intoyour own self improvement and
growth, using your bitterness asfuel to improve yourself,
instead of staying stuck innegativity and then engaging in
activities that build yourskills, your health, your
mindset, like exercise,journaling or learning something
new.

(10:44):
That's it.

Jodi (10:45):
You can't always choose what happens, but you can choose
how you respond.

Sherry (10:49):
This is it.
Choose better, not bitter, keepgoing and growing.

Jodi (10:54):
Thank you for joining us today.
If this episode resonated withyou, share it with someone and
remember every choice counts, somake the ones that move you
forward.

Sherry (11:05):
We'll see you next time on the this Is it podcast with
Thriving Yinzers.
This is it.
Yinz got this.
This podcast is a product ofThriving Yinzers LLC, a home
services business that helps youreclaim your time and space.
We conquer overwhelm bytackling your to-do list with
services like organizationalcoaching, home decluttering,
in-home laundry service andpersonalized lifestyle

(11:26):
assistance.
To learn more, visit us atthrivingyinzers.
com.
If you or someone you know isin crisis, please reach out to a
trusted professional or crisishotline in your area.
Help is available 24-7nationwide at the
988-SUICIDE-IN-CRISIS lifelineDial 988 to connect with a
trained crisis counselor forfree and confidential support.
If you are local to thePittsburgh area, Resolve Crisis

(11:47):
Services offer 24-7 crisisintervention and stabilization
services to all Allegheny Countyresidents.
Crisis intervention andstabilization services to all
Allegheny County residents.
You can reach them by calling1-888-796-8226.
If you are struggling withmental health, addiction, grief
or any other serious personalchallenges, we encourage you to
seek support from a qualifiedprofessional.

(12:08):
Okay, here comes the legalese,the oopsies and the yinzerese.
This podcast is forinformational and entertainment
purposes only.
The content shared is based onpersonal experiences and
perspectives.
Nothing shared on this podcastshould be considered
professional advice.
Thriving Yinzers LLC, its hostsor any associated parties are
not liable for any actions takenor consequences arising from

(12:30):
the information provided.
.
.
the views expressed by the hostsand guests are their own and do
not necessarily reflect thoseof any organizations or
affiliations.
Today's lesson in yinzerese Jagoff, J-A-G-O-F-F.
Definition.
A jerk Example- that guy whocut you off on the parkway.

(12:50):
Total jag off off!!

Jodi (12:58):
I hope that calculus yeah, what's that?

Sherry (13:07):
well, it didn't record.
Let me send okay and try again.
Let Moose in Okay and try again.
Hello, just kidding, youscrewed it up.
Just survive with RIZZ.
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