May 20, 2025 • 23 mins
We explore the concept of autopilot—that feeling of going through the motions without being present and how to break free from this cycle before it leads to burnout.
• Autopilot sneaks up in small ways like driving somewhere with no memory of the journey
• Our brains default to habits and routines to conserve energy, especially during stress
• Warning signs include feeling constantly busy but making no meaningful progress
• Small, intentional disruptions can break the cycle—meditation, planning, or pausing before reacting
• Being present in little moments makes your whole life feel more alive
• The body keeps score. Ignoring signals to slow down often leads to physical manifestations
• Autopilot and burnout are closely linked in a self-perpetuating cycle
• Breaking free involves awareness, creating space for rest, and reconnecting with values
Email us at typghpod@gmail.com or fill out the contact form at thrivingyensers.com to share your story about getting through tough times. Join us for our next bonus episode featuring certified life coach Valerie Pedigo discussing burnout awareness and recovery strategies.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sherry (00:00):
All right.
This is it the podcast byThriving Yenzers where we talk
about tools for buildingresilience, conquering overwhelm
and creating a life that feelsgood.
I'm Sherry.
and before we get started today, we want to hear
your story.
(00:20):
Have you pushed throughsomething hard loss, ahead.
illness, a major curveball andmade it to the other side?
Or even if you're stillfiguring it out?
Your experience matters andsomeone out there could be
helped by hearing it.
We're inviting real storiesfrom real yinzers and beyond
(00:41):
about getting through the toughstuff.
You can come on the show andshare it in your own words or,
if you'd rather stay behind thescenes, we'll tell your story
anonymously, with care and heart.
Email us at typghpod atgmailcom or fill out the contact
form at thrivingyenserscom,because this podcast is about
all of us and the strength ittakes to keep going.
(01:02):
Today we're talking aboutsomething that a lot of people
don't even realize they'redealing with running on
autopilot, that feeling of justgoing through the motions and
getting through the day withoutreally being present.
Jodi (01:14):
Yeah, it's place where you're constantly busy but you
don't really feel like you'redoing anything.
We're going to dive into whythat happens, how to recognize
if you're stuck there and, mostimportantly, how to break free
and really wake up.
SoJodi: It can sneak up on you.
For me, it shows up in smallways, like when I pull into the
parking lot and I don't have anymemory of the drive or even how
(01:37):
I got there, or when I'm reallybusy all day long and I can't
recall by the end of the daywhat I did long and I can't
recall by the end of the daywhat I did.
Sometimes I can't even decidewhat I want for dinner because
I'm so drained I can't eventhink about what I want and I
don't even remember what thingsI like.
It's like going through themotions but you're not really
present in any of it.
Oh yeah, I think we all knowthat feeling on some level.
(01:59):
It's just hard to realize itwhen you are in it.
Sherry (02:03):
For me, it wasn't until I experienced it in different
contexts that helped me to seethat I needed to do better for
myself and for the people aroundme.
I was a pedal to the metal onautopilot, you know, just going
through the motions of dailylife and not really thinking
about much else other thanmaking it through the day and
back to bed just to wake up anddo it all again the next day.
(02:26):
Like so many of us, I wasmomming so hard and sistering so
hard and daughtering so hardand wifing and teaching so hard
and being a fixer.
I was saying yes to everythingand just thinking I could plow
ahead and take on more and more,and I took on some really
really hard things that I'm notready to talk about here yet.
(02:48):
But when I look back on it, Irealize so much about how
autopilot carried me through andabout how, when you're in go
mode, all the time adding morelayers, pushing through, barely
catching your breath life startssending you quiet signals to
slow down.
But when you're on autopilot,you don't pay attention to that.
(03:08):
We just ignore those whispers.
But the problem is, if youdon't listen when life is
whispering to you to slow down,it will eventually scream, and
for a lot of us, that screamshows up in our health, which is
what happened with me in theform of a medical event that
forced me to not just slow downbut stop and then slowly get
(03:29):
back into it.
And then autopilot became justgetting through the basics.
But even after I got stronger,I realized that I was still
stuck in that same routine Wakeup, go through the motions, rest
, repeat, without ever reallychecking in with what would make
the day count, not just go by.
I think there's a bigdifference between hustling
through a to-do list andactually showing up for what
(03:50):
matters.
One keeps you busy and theother keeps you present and
moves you forward, and I thinkthat's the tricky part.
Jodi (03:58):
Autopilot isn't always bad .
As psychologist Daniel Kahnemanexplains, our brains are wired
to be efficient.
We're built to default tohabits and routines because it
saves energy.
That's why autopilot kicks inso easily.
It helps us function when lifeis overwhelming.
But if we stay there too longwe miss out on actually living.
(04:18):
When that happens is when Ifind myself wondering what the
hell I'm doing with my life.
Sherry (04:23):
That's when I know that it's time to slow down and move
through the day like it actuallymatters, because it does.
Every choice, every moment, itall adds up to a life that I'm
actually living and feeling, notjust surviving through.
I'm really not much of ajournaling person and I know
that's really highly recommendedand I did find benefit to it
(04:45):
during my recovery.
I'd like to get back to it, butit was part of my process to
track my memories by journaling,because I couldn't remember
what I did an hour ago, so I hadto keep track of those things.
But what I learned through thatexperience came to me on the
day that I was, I guess,particularly frustrated, and I
(05:07):
remember the day that I wrotethat I didn't survive this to
just exist, which is what I feltlike at the time because,
truthfully, I was feeling reallystuck.
I wasn't sure where I fit backinto life.
I was lonely, I was clearlystarting to fall into a pattern
of self-pity, frustration andanger, and I had a moment where
it made me realize that no onewas going to come put my life
(05:29):
back together for me, and thatwas when I got clear about
changing the path I was on,disrupting autopilot and really
getting my shit together, andthat was when I made the
decision to choose better overbitter and be deliberate about
finding joy in big and smallways every day.
I understood that it was a timeto stop trying to get back to
(05:51):
the old life that was really nolonger meant for me and taking
steps towards one that was.
It didn't matter that I hadzero clue what that would be.
What was important was that Irecognized that being stuck in
the cycle of autopilot was a bigpart of what sidelined me in
the first place, and so I wasdetermined to get to a life that
felt good, even while goingthrough a tough time.
(06:12):
I knew that this is it and Iwas merely existing, and once I
realized that, I was determinedto get out of that cycle, keep
getting better and do somethingmore, and I guess that's kind of
how Thriving Answers eventuallycame to be, though I didn't
know it yet at that time.
Jodi (06:29):
So why did we slip into autopilot at that time?
So why do we slip intoautopilot?
Sherry (06:35):
Our brains are built for efficiency, and that's part of
why we fall into autopilotwithout realizing it.
I think you mentioned thatearlier.
The routines and habits that wecreate are how our brains
conserve energy, and when lifegets hard whether it's the
really hard stuff like loss ortrauma, or even parenting, or
just the constant overwhelm ofeveryday life the brain will
default to whatever is easiest.
Jodi (06:56):
Yeah, especially when you're already stretched thin,
because staying safe feelseasier than facing what might
hurt or stretch us too much.
But what starts as a copingmechanism can turn into a way of
life if you're not careful.
Sherry (07:08):
You can't pour from an empty cup.
It's said over and over, butit's true.
And if you don't startlistening when your body's
trying to tell you, it will justshow up and shut everything
down.
Anyway, you have to take careof yourself.
So how do we recognize this?
Yeah, how do you even recognizeyou're on autopilot, because
sometimes that's not easy to do.
(07:29):
It sneaks in, like drivingsomewhere and don't remember the
ride, reaching for your phonethe second that there's silence,
saying I'm fine when you'reanything but.
And it happens when biggerthings are wearing on you too,
like ignoring the thing that'sbeen on your heart.
Or maybe it's saying yes tothings that you don't have the
capacity for anymore, justbecause you always have, and
(07:52):
before you know it, weeks ormonths have gone by and you're
wondering why you feel sodisconnected.
For me, the biggest sign iswhen I can't remember what I did
all week, like the days justblur together and I'm constantly
busy.
I feel like I'm constantly busybut I'm not really making
progress on anything thatmatters to me, and by the end of
the week I just I feel like Ihave.
(08:12):
I don't know what I've done.
I feel empty and kind of justthere.
Just there, yep, I think you'retalking about that like
numbness, yeah, yeah, yep, it's.
It's like a numb feeling whereyou're not really sad, you're
not really anxious, but it'sjust kind of flat, like watching
my own life happen instead ofactually participating in it.
Jodi (08:34):
Yeah, and I think a lot of people feel that way and don't
even realize that there'sanything they can actually do.
So how do we wake up to life andreally flip that switch?
Sherry (08:44):
It's not as easy as flipping the switch, but there
is something you can do about itand you don't have to overhaul
your whole life.
One of the first things thathelped me was starting to ask
myself what can I do today togrow?
The tagline of Thriving Insersis go and grow with us, and that
came from these moments in mylife where I realized that it
(09:06):
was, yes, it was aboutresilience and getting back up
again, but what it really wasabout on a deeper level is that
need to grow and make adifference.
Right, so it wasn't just themundane stuff that's always
waiting to get done.
It was what will move meforward and help me show up with
more purpose.
Jodi (09:26):
,
Sherry (09:28):
yeah, and later that developed into living with
intention and realizing all thelittle things that we do day in
and day out matter.
Jodi (09:38):
Absolutely.
For me.
My small intentional habit thething that I realized is so
simple that has made the biggestdifference was taking those
five minutes in the morning andjust doing a really quick
meditation.
It's a way to settle myself andkind of think about my tone for
the day.
And also, you know, journalingis great.
I want to do it more myself andI try to do it.
(10:01):
But even beyond journaling likewhen I get to work in the
morning sitting down with acalendar in front of me and kind
of going over my to-do list forthe entire day and thinking
about what I need to get doneand if maybe I try to squeeze
something in, figure out thethings that are the most
important that kind of shifts meinto making sure that I'm
(10:22):
thinking about what I'm doinginstead of just coasting and
shifting into autopilot andreacting to everything as it
comes up.
Sherry (10:28):
I actually I want to talk about that a lot more on
the podcast, maybe in a futureepisode about how being
intentional helps you to kind oftrain yourself in a mindset
that you set yourself up to beable to respond to the events
that pop up throughout your liferather than reacting.
That itself is a big time wayto show up to your day with
(10:50):
intention.
A big time way to show up toyour day with intention.
Yes, it's like buildingawareness, and the more you do
it, the easier it gets to choosehow you move through your day
instead of constantly reacting.
Yeah, like see how many timesyour instinct is to impulsively
react to events that occur,react to people that you
encounter.
Oh, 100 percent, when you putit in your mind that you want to
(11:11):
focus on that for a day andjust to see how many times that
pops up, like we're justreactive, sure.
And to give yourself that spaceto, like you said, set yourself
up to be able to think about,let something sit and give
yourself time to process.
Yeah, give yourself time toprocess things before we're
reacting, sure, especially nowwhere the headlines change every
(11:32):
30 seconds, you're ready to.
Jodi (11:34):
I can honestly say I used to be very reactionary earlier
in my life and it's somethingthat I have worked on and
something I'm actually proud of,because I'm much, much less
likely to instantly react andsometimes I know I frustrate
people and I know that there'stimes when things come up I take
(11:55):
a step back, I'm not going toanswer, I need to go shut the
door, I'm going to back off, andI know it's frustrating, but
it's for me.
Personally, it has saved me alot of me losing my shit, and so
now I really try to refuse toreact.
Even if somebody is trying realhard to promote me, nine times
out of ten you're just not goingto get a response.
(12:16):
I can't do it.
Sherry (12:18):
Yeah, and I mean they will get a response, but you'll
get a more thoughtful,
Jodi (12:22):
exactly
Sherry (12:23):
Meaningful response.
I don't feel like a better me,you know like I feel like a
better person if I just don'treact and then I come back and
say I've had some time to thinkyeah, right, it makes for better
communication, which is, youknow, in relationships.
If there's not goodcommunication, there's a yeah,
then there's a problem.
I mean the communication is key, right, it just is.
We have to learn to communicatewith each other.
(12:45):
But reacting without thinkingisn't really communicating well,
and taking a pause actuallyprotects relationships by making
sure that you're respondingfrom a calm and grounded place,
not because you're triggered,which could be a whole other
episode.
Yeah right, I think we're offon a tangent here and I think
it's important to talk about it.
So what's the difference, right?
Jodi (13:13):
So I think, like now, it's probably a good time to talk
about building that life thatyou're awake for, so that we can
get better about listening tounderstand and respond versus
react and attack.
So back to autopilot.
It's not always a bad thing.
We just can't stay there.
It's how habits work.
But there's a differencebetween intentional routines
that support your life and themindless routines that just kind
of carry us through the day.
It feels like you can't stop,even though stopping is exactly
(13:36):
what you need.
And it's true what they say thebody keeps the score.
You can only keep it up for solong before it shows up in
physical presentations thatliterally will force you to
break that cycle, because theonly way to really break the
cycle is interrupting autopilot,and that often comes from some
big life event forcing you tobreak that cycle.
(13:58):
But it can happen by teachingyourself to become aware of when
you're running on autopilot andcreating that space for rest to
reflect, to be more intentionalabout the decisions that we
make day to day, and thatcreates the space for you to
reconnect with your values andyour purpose.
So Autopilot is really survivalmode, and burnout is what
(14:23):
happens when you stay there toolong.
And the best way to tell thedifference is to check in with
yourself right here, askyourself is it working?
Is this working?
Is this what I want?
If not, what's one small shiftthat I can make right now?
And I know we're saying thisall the time, but it really is
the small choices that wake youback up.
The more present you are in thelittle moments of the day, the
(14:44):
more alive your whole lifestarts to feel, and I feel like
I should say that again becauseit's such an important takeaway
the more present you are in thelittle moments, the more alive
your whole life starts to feeland to be fully present.
We're going to have to beintentional about putting our
phones down and really beingpresent with our kids or
whoever's important in your lifewho is right in front of you.
(15:07):
It's so easy to get distracted,but those moments are too
important to miss.
Last week, just at the bus stop, my daughter was out of the car
.
I was watching a reel on myphone just waiting for the bus,
and it was one of those abouthow fast childhood goes by.
You know, the days are long butthe years are short, kind of
thing, and it hit hard,especially with my son
(15:27):
graduating this year.
But I was so pulled into itthat I didn't even notice my
fifth grader standing at the carwindow being goofy, trying to
get my attention.
I was literally missing themoment while watching a video
about missing the moment, whilewatching a video about missing
the moment.
So thankfully, though, becauseI built that awareness of myself
(15:49):
, it helped me catch myself, andin that moment, what mattered
most was that she didn't have tosee me choose a screen over her
, and I'm just glad that Icaught myself.
So, again, she didn't have towonder if I'd rather be looking
at my phone than sharing thatsilly moment with her.
And it's good that you caughtit.
And we're human, that's goingto happen.
(16:10):
We're all going to have thosemoments, but I think that the
more you catch yourself, themore you catch yourself.
Yep.
And the thing is, the littlemoments like that.
They're there every day, but wehave to slow down enough to
notice them, we have to giveourselves permission to be in
them, and that means disruptingour patterns of being on
(16:31):
autopilot all the time.
Autopilot and burnout areclosely linked.
When autopilot becomes chronic,it leads to burnout.
If you stay there too long,you're ignoring the signals that
your body and your mind aretrying to send you and you end
up exhausted, irritable,detached.
Autopilot is a coping mechanismfor overwhelm.
When you're overwhelmedmentally, emotionally,
(16:53):
physically you might switch toautopilot just to get through
the day, which means that you'regoing through the motions
without intention or presence.
You're reacting, you'rechecking boxes, you're not
checking in with yourself, andthat can help in the short term
during times of crisis, but overtime it disconnects you.
You lose touch with the thingsthat energize or fulfill you.
(17:14):
You push yourself past yourlimits without realizing it and
then eventually you crash andburn and once you've achieved
burnout, you are stuck onautopilot.
You don't have any energy to beintentional or reflective about
how your life is going.
You rely even more heavily onautopilot to function because
you're just trying to getthrough the freaking day and
(17:34):
doing all the things.
So my hope is that we can getbetter at listening when life
sends you those quiet signals toslow the F down.
Start practicing givingourselves pause and remembering
that you don quiet signals toslow the F down, start
practicing, giving ourselvespause and remembering that you
don't have to prove your worththrough exhaustion.
You have to take care ofyourself.
So breaking the cycle meansinterrupting autopilot and
(17:55):
recovering from burnout, orpreventing it, really involves
becoming aware of when you'rethere, creating space for rest,
reflection, becoming aware ofwhen you're there, creating
space for rest, reflection andintentional decisions, and
reconnecting with your values.
Do you want help identifyingsigns of autopilot in your own
life or creating a strategy tointerrupt it?
(18:15):
We are happy to have ValeriePettigo coming on, who is a
certified life coach, humandesign reader and co-founder of
Renewed Spirit Adventures.
She helps women conquer burnout, reconnect with their purpose
and find healing through anintentional community, so we're
excited to have her on in ournext bonus episode to talk to us
(18:36):
about burnout.
Absolutely so.
If you're listening andrealizing you've been coasting
on autopilot, first of all, ithappens.
It happens to everyone.
The trick is to notice it, andthen one small choice at a time.
That's how we start to wake upand reconnect and make the
choice to put your phone downsome and be present with the
people that you love.
This is it, so squeeze out allthose moments of connection with
(18:59):
the ones that you love whileyou still can, and we'd love for
you to tell us about yourexperience.
What's your reset?
How do you get out of autopilotand be present in your life?
What's one small choice you canmake today to break the routine
?
Share it with us on socials orin a review, because those
little choices add up and wegenuinely care to hear your
(19:19):
stories.
We'll see you next time You'vegot this.
That's it for today.
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(19:41):
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(20:02):
Help is available 24-7,nationwide at the
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If you are local to thePittsburgh area, resolve Crisis
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(20:26):
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Okay, here comes the legalese,the oopsies and the yinzerese.
This podcast is forinformational and entertainment
purposes only.
The content shared is based onpersonal experiences and
perspectives.
Nothing shared on this podcastshould be considered
(20:46):
professional advice.
Thriving Yenzer's LLC, itshosts or any associated parties
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The views expressed by thehosts and guests are their own
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Today's lesson in Yenzeriz.
Today's lesson in Yenziriz isone that really shows your
(21:08):
Pittsburgh roots Downtown.
It's how we say downtown aroundhere.
Quick, familiar and straightfrom the heart.
It's part of everyday life.
The word might sound funny tooutsiders, but to us it feels
like home.
Got a favorite downtown memoryor spot?
We'd love to hear it.
Share your story by emailingtypghpod at gmailcom or fill out
(21:32):
the contact form atthrivinginserscom.
We might feature it on the show, because your voice is part of
what makes this city shine,because life isn't perfect, and
(21:54):
neither are we.
Here's the shit that didn't makethe cut.
Hey, jody, I don't think thatwas bad because I'm working.
Yeah, although this is weird,this is weird.
This is not the.
Oh, we're not recording.
I just gotta remember to pushthat thing.
I think, right, that thing.
What's that doing?
I don't know what that is.
I can't figure it out either.
(22:14):
I gotta find the instructionsthing.
What's this blinking?
It won't stop blinking.
Okay, that's the one thing thatwe accomplished today was to
figure out the red button.
Okay, I feel like justcompletely idiot.
All right, how are we hereagain?
I guess we're ready.
I'm not ready.
I feel weird.
(22:35):
Are you?
You good?
I'm good.
Okay, let's get started.
Welcome to the.
This Is it.
I'm so tired Downtown.
It's a Pittsburgh thing.
All right.
This is it the podcast byThriving Yenzers where we talk
about tools for buildingresilience, conquering overwhelm
and creating a life that feelsgood.
I'm Sherry.
and before we get started today, we want to hear
your story.
(00:20):
Have you pushed throughsomething hard loss, ahead.
illness, a major curveball andmade it to the other side?
Or even if you're stillfiguring it out?
Your experience matters andsomeone out there could be
helped by hearing it.
We're inviting real storiesfrom real yinzers and beyond
(00:41):
about getting through the toughstuff.
You can come on the show andshare it in your own words or,
if you'd rather stay behind thescenes, we'll tell your story
anonymously, with care and heart.
Email us at typghpod atgmailcom or fill out the contact
form at thrivingyenserscom,because this podcast is about
all of us and the strength ittakes to keep going.
(01:02):
Today we're talking aboutsomething that a lot of people
don't even realize they'redealing with running on
autopilot, that feeling of justgoing through the motions and
getting through the day withoutreally being present.
Jodi (01:14):
Yeah, it's place where you're constantly busy but you
don't really feel like you'redoing anything.
We're going to dive into whythat happens, how to recognize
if you're stuck there and, mostimportantly, how to break free
and really wake up.
SoJodi: It can sneak up on you.
For me, it shows up in smallways, like when I pull into the
parking lot and I don't have anymemory of the drive or even how
(01:37):
I got there, or when I'm reallybusy all day long and I can't
recall by the end of the daywhat I did long and I can't
recall by the end of the daywhat I did.
Sometimes I can't even decidewhat I want for dinner because
I'm so drained I can't eventhink about what I want and I
don't even remember what thingsI like.
It's like going through themotions but you're not really
present in any of it.
Oh yeah, I think we all knowthat feeling on some level.
(01:59):
It's just hard to realize itwhen you are in it.
Sherry (02:03):
For me, it wasn't until I experienced it in different
contexts that helped me to seethat I needed to do better for
myself and for the people aroundme.
I was a pedal to the metal onautopilot, you know, just going
through the motions of dailylife and not really thinking
about much else other thanmaking it through the day and
back to bed just to wake up anddo it all again the next day.
(02:26):
Like so many of us, I wasmomming so hard and sistering so
hard and daughtering so hardand wifing and teaching so hard
and being a fixer.
I was saying yes to everythingand just thinking I could plow
ahead and take on more and more,and I took on some really
really hard things that I'm notready to talk about here yet.
(02:48):
But when I look back on it, Irealize so much about how
autopilot carried me through andabout how, when you're in go
mode, all the time adding morelayers, pushing through, barely
catching your breath life startssending you quiet signals to
slow down.
But when you're on autopilot,you don't pay attention to that.
(03:08):
We just ignore those whispers.
But the problem is, if youdon't listen when life is
whispering to you to slow down,it will eventually scream, and
for a lot of us, that screamshows up in our health, which is
what happened with me in theform of a medical event that
forced me to not just slow downbut stop and then slowly get
(03:29):
back into it.
And then autopilot became justgetting through the basics.
But even after I got stronger,I realized that I was still
stuck in that same routine Wakeup, go through the motions, rest
, repeat, without ever reallychecking in with what would make
the day count, not just go by.
I think there's a bigdifference between hustling
through a to-do list andactually showing up for what
(03:50):
matters.
One keeps you busy and theother keeps you present and
moves you forward, and I thinkthat's the tricky part.
Jodi (03:58):
Autopilot isn't always bad .
As psychologist Daniel Kahnemanexplains, our brains are wired
to be efficient.
We're built to default tohabits and routines because it
saves energy.
That's why autopilot kicks inso easily.
It helps us function when lifeis overwhelming.
But if we stay there too longwe miss out on actually living.
(04:18):
When that happens is when Ifind myself wondering what the
hell I'm doing with my life.
Sherry (04:23):
That's when I know that it's time to slow down and move
through the day like it actuallymatters, because it does.
Every choice, every moment, itall adds up to a life that I'm
actually living and feeling, notjust surviving through.
I'm really not much of ajournaling person and I know
that's really highly recommendedand I did find benefit to it
(04:45):
during my recovery.
I'd like to get back to it, butit was part of my process to
track my memories by journaling,because I couldn't remember
what I did an hour ago, so I hadto keep track of those things.
But what I learned through thatexperience came to me on the
day that I was, I guess,particularly frustrated, and I
(05:07):
remember the day that I wrotethat I didn't survive this to
just exist, which is what I feltlike at the time because,
truthfully, I was feeling reallystuck.
I wasn't sure where I fit backinto life.
I was lonely, I was clearlystarting to fall into a pattern
of self-pity, frustration andanger, and I had a moment where
it made me realize that no onewas going to come put my life
(05:29):
back together for me, and thatwas when I got clear about
changing the path I was on,disrupting autopilot and really
getting my shit together, andthat was when I made the
decision to choose better overbitter and be deliberate about
finding joy in big and smallways every day.
I understood that it was a timeto stop trying to get back to
(05:51):
the old life that was really nolonger meant for me and taking
steps towards one that was.
It didn't matter that I hadzero clue what that would be.
What was important was that Irecognized that being stuck in
the cycle of autopilot was a bigpart of what sidelined me in
the first place, and so I wasdetermined to get to a life that
felt good, even while goingthrough a tough time.
(06:12):
I knew that this is it and Iwas merely existing, and once I
realized that, I was determinedto get out of that cycle, keep
getting better and do somethingmore, and I guess that's kind of
how Thriving Answers eventuallycame to be, though I didn't
know it yet at that time.
Jodi (06:29):
So why did we slip into autopilot at that time?
So why do we slip intoautopilot?
Sherry (06:35):
Our brains are built for efficiency, and that's part of
why we fall into autopilotwithout realizing it.
I think you mentioned thatearlier.
The routines and habits that wecreate are how our brains
conserve energy, and when lifegets hard whether it's the
really hard stuff like loss ortrauma, or even parenting, or
just the constant overwhelm ofeveryday life the brain will
default to whatever is easiest.
Jodi (06:56):
Yeah, especially when you're already stretched thin,
because staying safe feelseasier than facing what might
hurt or stretch us too much.
But what starts as a copingmechanism can turn into a way of
life if you're not careful.
Sherry (07:08):
You can't pour from an empty cup.
It's said over and over, butit's true.
And if you don't startlistening when your body's
trying to tell you, it will justshow up and shut everything
down.
Anyway, you have to take careof yourself.
So how do we recognize this?
Yeah, how do you even recognizeyou're on autopilot, because
sometimes that's not easy to do.
(07:29):
It sneaks in, like drivingsomewhere and don't remember the
ride, reaching for your phonethe second that there's silence,
saying I'm fine when you'reanything but.
And it happens when biggerthings are wearing on you too,
like ignoring the thing that'sbeen on your heart.
Or maybe it's saying yes tothings that you don't have the
capacity for anymore, justbecause you always have, and
(07:52):
before you know it, weeks ormonths have gone by and you're
wondering why you feel sodisconnected.
For me, the biggest sign iswhen I can't remember what I did
all week, like the days justblur together and I'm constantly
busy.
I feel like I'm constantly busybut I'm not really making
progress on anything thatmatters to me, and by the end of
the week I just I feel like Ihave.
(08:12):
I don't know what I've done.
I feel empty and kind of justthere.
Just there, yep, I think you'retalking about that like
numbness, yeah, yeah, yep, it's.
It's like a numb feeling whereyou're not really sad, you're
not really anxious, but it'sjust kind of flat, like watching
my own life happen instead ofactually participating in it.
Jodi (08:34):
Yeah, and I think a lot of people feel that way and don't
even realize that there'sanything they can actually do.
So how do we wake up to life andreally flip that switch?
Sherry (08:44):
It's not as easy as flipping the switch, but there
is something you can do about itand you don't have to overhaul
your whole life.
One of the first things thathelped me was starting to ask
myself what can I do today togrow?
The tagline of Thriving Insersis go and grow with us, and that
came from these moments in mylife where I realized that it
(09:06):
was, yes, it was aboutresilience and getting back up
again, but what it really wasabout on a deeper level is that
need to grow and make adifference.
Right, so it wasn't just themundane stuff that's always
waiting to get done.
It was what will move meforward and help me show up with
more purpose.
Jodi (09:26):
,
Sherry (09:28):
yeah, and later that developed into living with
intention and realizing all thelittle things that we do day in
and day out matter.
Jodi (09:38):
Absolutely.
For me.
My small intentional habit thething that I realized is so
simple that has made the biggestdifference was taking those
five minutes in the morning andjust doing a really quick
meditation.
It's a way to settle myself andkind of think about my tone for
the day.
And also, you know, journalingis great.
I want to do it more myself andI try to do it.
(10:01):
But even beyond journaling likewhen I get to work in the
morning sitting down with acalendar in front of me and kind
of going over my to-do list forthe entire day and thinking
about what I need to get doneand if maybe I try to squeeze
something in, figure out thethings that are the most
important that kind of shifts meinto making sure that I'm
(10:22):
thinking about what I'm doinginstead of just coasting and
shifting into autopilot andreacting to everything as it
comes up.
Sherry (10:28):
I actually I want to talk about that a lot more on
the podcast, maybe in a futureepisode about how being
intentional helps you to kind oftrain yourself in a mindset
that you set yourself up to beable to respond to the events
that pop up throughout your liferather than reacting.
That itself is a big time wayto show up to your day with
(10:50):
intention.
A big time way to show up toyour day with intention.
Yes, it's like buildingawareness, and the more you do
it, the easier it gets to choosehow you move through your day
instead of constantly reacting.
Yeah, like see how many timesyour instinct is to impulsively
react to events that occur,react to people that you
encounter.
Oh, 100 percent, when you putit in your mind that you want to
(11:11):
focus on that for a day andjust to see how many times that
pops up, like we're justreactive, sure.
And to give yourself that spaceto, like you said, set yourself
up to be able to think about,let something sit and give
yourself time to process.
Yeah, give yourself time toprocess things before we're
reacting, sure, especially nowwhere the headlines change every
(11:32):
30 seconds, you're ready to.
Jodi (11:34):
I can honestly say I used to be very reactionary earlier
in my life and it's somethingthat I have worked on and
something I'm actually proud of,because I'm much, much less
likely to instantly react andsometimes I know I frustrate
people and I know that there'stimes when things come up I take
(11:55):
a step back, I'm not going toanswer, I need to go shut the
door, I'm going to back off, andI know it's frustrating, but
it's for me.
Personally, it has saved me alot of me losing my shit, and so
now I really try to refuse toreact.
Even if somebody is trying realhard to promote me, nine times
out of ten you're just not goingto get a response.
(12:16):
I can't do it.
Sherry (12:18):
Yeah, and I mean they will get a response, but you'll
get a more thoughtful,
Jodi (12:22):
exactly
Sherry (12:23):
Meaningful response.
I don't feel like a better me,you know like I feel like a
better person if I just don'treact and then I come back and
say I've had some time to thinkyeah, right, it makes for better
communication, which is, youknow, in relationships.
If there's not goodcommunication, there's a yeah,
then there's a problem.
I mean the communication is key, right, it just is.
We have to learn to communicatewith each other.
(12:45):
But reacting without thinkingisn't really communicating well,
and taking a pause actuallyprotects relationships by making
sure that you're respondingfrom a calm and grounded place,
not because you're triggered,which could be a whole other
episode.
Yeah right, I think we're offon a tangent here and I think
it's important to talk about it.
So what's the difference, right?
Jodi (13:13):
So I think, like now, it's probably a good time to talk
about building that life thatyou're awake for, so that we can
get better about listening tounderstand and respond versus
react and attack.
So back to autopilot.
It's not always a bad thing.
We just can't stay there.
It's how habits work.
But there's a differencebetween intentional routines
that support your life and themindless routines that just kind
of carry us through the day.
It feels like you can't stop,even though stopping is exactly
(13:36):
what you need.
And it's true what they say thebody keeps the score.
You can only keep it up for solong before it shows up in
physical presentations thatliterally will force you to
break that cycle, because theonly way to really break the
cycle is interrupting autopilot,and that often comes from some
big life event forcing you tobreak that cycle.
(13:58):
But it can happen by teachingyourself to become aware of when
you're running on autopilot andcreating that space for rest to
reflect, to be more intentionalabout the decisions that we
make day to day, and thatcreates the space for you to
reconnect with your values andyour purpose.
So Autopilot is really survivalmode, and burnout is what
(14:23):
happens when you stay there toolong.
And the best way to tell thedifference is to check in with
yourself right here, askyourself is it working?
Is this working?
Is this what I want?
If not, what's one small shiftthat I can make right now?
And I know we're saying thisall the time, but it really is
the small choices that wake youback up.
The more present you are in thelittle moments of the day, the
(14:44):
more alive your whole lifestarts to feel, and I feel like
I should say that again becauseit's such an important takeaway
the more present you are in thelittle moments, the more alive
your whole life starts to feeland to be fully present.
We're going to have to beintentional about putting our
phones down and really beingpresent with our kids or
whoever's important in your lifewho is right in front of you.
(15:07):
It's so easy to get distracted,but those moments are too
important to miss.
Last week, just at the bus stop, my daughter was out of the car
.
I was watching a reel on myphone just waiting for the bus,
and it was one of those abouthow fast childhood goes by.
You know, the days are long butthe years are short, kind of
thing, and it hit hard,especially with my son
(15:27):
graduating this year.
But I was so pulled into itthat I didn't even notice my
fifth grader standing at the carwindow being goofy, trying to
get my attention.
I was literally missing themoment while watching a video
about missing the moment, whilewatching a video about missing
the moment.
So thankfully, though, becauseI built that awareness of myself
(15:49):
, it helped me catch myself, andin that moment, what mattered
most was that she didn't have tosee me choose a screen over her
, and I'm just glad that Icaught myself.
So, again, she didn't have towonder if I'd rather be looking
at my phone than sharing thatsilly moment with her.
And it's good that you caughtit.
And we're human, that's goingto happen.
(16:10):
We're all going to have thosemoments, but I think that the
more you catch yourself, themore you catch yourself.
Yep.
And the thing is, the littlemoments like that.
They're there every day, but wehave to slow down enough to
notice them, we have to giveourselves permission to be in
them, and that means disruptingour patterns of being on
(16:31):
autopilot all the time.
Autopilot and burnout areclosely linked.
When autopilot becomes chronic,it leads to burnout.
If you stay there too long,you're ignoring the signals that
your body and your mind aretrying to send you and you end
up exhausted, irritable,detached.
Autopilot is a coping mechanismfor overwhelm.
When you're overwhelmedmentally, emotionally,
(16:53):
physically you might switch toautopilot just to get through
the day, which means that you'regoing through the motions
without intention or presence.
You're reacting, you'rechecking boxes, you're not
checking in with yourself, andthat can help in the short term
during times of crisis, but overtime it disconnects you.
You lose touch with the thingsthat energize or fulfill you.
(17:14):
You push yourself past yourlimits without realizing it and
then eventually you crash andburn and once you've achieved
burnout, you are stuck onautopilot.
You don't have any energy to beintentional or reflective about
how your life is going.
You rely even more heavily onautopilot to function because
you're just trying to getthrough the freaking day and
(17:34):
doing all the things.
So my hope is that we can getbetter at listening when life
sends you those quiet signals toslow the F down.
Start practicing givingourselves pause and remembering
that you don quiet signals toslow the F down, start
practicing, giving ourselvespause and remembering that you
don't have to prove your worththrough exhaustion.
You have to take care ofyourself.
So breaking the cycle meansinterrupting autopilot and
(17:55):
recovering from burnout, orpreventing it, really involves
becoming aware of when you'rethere, creating space for rest,
reflection, becoming aware ofwhen you're there, creating
space for rest, reflection andintentional decisions, and
reconnecting with your values.
Do you want help identifyingsigns of autopilot in your own
life or creating a strategy tointerrupt it?
(18:15):
We are happy to have ValeriePettigo coming on, who is a
certified life coach, humandesign reader and co-founder of
Renewed Spirit Adventures.
She helps women conquer burnout, reconnect with their purpose
and find healing through anintentional community, so we're
excited to have her on in ournext bonus episode to talk to us
(18:36):
about burnout.
Absolutely so.
If you're listening andrealizing you've been coasting
on autopilot, first of all, ithappens.
It happens to everyone.
The trick is to notice it, andthen one small choice at a time.
That's how we start to wake upand reconnect and make the
choice to put your phone downsome and be present with the
people that you love.
This is it, so squeeze out allthose moments of connection with
(18:59):
the ones that you love whileyou still can, and we'd love for
you to tell us about yourexperience.
What's your reset?
How do you get out of autopilotand be present in your life?
What's one small choice you canmake today to break the routine
?
Share it with us on socials orin a review, because those
little choices add up and wegenuinely care to hear your
(19:19):
stories.
We'll see you next time You'vegot this.
That's it for today.
If something here spoke to you,please take a second to make
sure you are following the showin your favorite podcast
platform.
Leave us a rating or a quickreview and share it with some
friends and family.
Every follow and review helpsus reach more people.
This is it Make it happen.
This podcast is a product ofThriving Yinsers LLC.
(19:41):
A home services business thathelps you reclaim your time and
space.
We conquer overwhelm bytackling your to-do list with
services like organizationalcoaching, home decluttering,
in-home laundry service andpersonalized lifestyle
assistance.
To learn more, visit us atthrivingyenzerscom.
If you or someone you know isin crisis, please reach out to a
trusted professional or crisishotline in your area.
(20:02):
Help is available 24-7,nationwide at the
988-SUICIDE-IN-CRISIS lifelineDial 988 to connect with a
trained crisis counselor forfree and confidential support.
If you are local to thePittsburgh area, resolve Crisis
Services offer 24-7 crisisintervention and stabilization
services to all Allegheny Countyresidents.
You can reach them by calling1-888-796-8226.
(20:26):
If you are struggling withmental health, addiction, grief
or any other serious personalchallenges, we encourage you to
seek support from a qualifiedprofessional.
Okay, here comes the legalese,the oopsies and the yinzerese.
This podcast is forinformational and entertainment
purposes only.
The content shared is based onpersonal experiences and
perspectives.
Nothing shared on this podcastshould be considered
(20:46):
professional advice.
Thriving Yenzer's LLC, itshosts or any associated parties
are not liable for any actionstaken or consequences arising
from the information provided.
The views expressed by thehosts and guests are their own
and do not necessarily reflectthose of any organizations or
affiliations.
Today's lesson in Yenzeriz.
Today's lesson in Yenziriz isone that really shows your
(21:08):
Pittsburgh roots Downtown.
It's how we say downtown aroundhere.
Quick, familiar and straightfrom the heart.
It's part of everyday life.
The word might sound funny tooutsiders, but to us it feels
like home.
Got a favorite downtown memoryor spot?
We'd love to hear it.
Share your story by emailingtypghpod at gmailcom or fill out
(21:32):
the contact form atthrivinginserscom.
We might feature it on the show, because your voice is part of
what makes this city shine,because life isn't perfect, and
(21:54):
neither are we.
Here's the shit that didn't makethe cut.
Hey, jody, I don't think thatwas bad because I'm working.
Yeah, although this is weird,this is weird.
This is not the.
Oh, we're not recording.
I just gotta remember to pushthat thing.
I think, right, that thing.
What's that doing?
I don't know what that is.
I can't figure it out either.
(22:14):
I gotta find the instructionsthing.
What's this blinking?
It won't stop blinking.
Okay, that's the one thing thatwe accomplished today was to
figure out the red button.
Okay, I feel like justcompletely idiot.
All right, how are we hereagain?
I guess we're ready.
I'm not ready.
I feel weird.
(22:35):
Are you?
You good?
I'm good.
Okay, let's get started.
Welcome to the.
This Is it.
I'm so tired Downtown.
It's a Pittsburgh thing.
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