June 24, 2025 • 24 mins
Living with intention means taking the wheel of your life instead of letting it happen to you. We explore practical strategies for making deliberate choices that align with your values and create the life you actually want.
- Moving from autopilot living to intentional decision-making
- Why setting boundaries might make others uncomfortable—and why that's okay
- How meditation and mindfulness can shift your nervous system from fight-or-flight to rest-and-recover
- Understanding your "why" as a foundation for intentional choices
- Making small, consistent changes rather than attempting complete life overhauls
- Using intentional practices to navigate burnout, stagnation, and unexpected setbacks
- The importance of giving yourself grace during the transition to more intentional living
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sherry (00:00):
Hello, welcome to this.
Is it the podcast by ThrivingYinzers, where we talk about
navigating life with clarity,purpose and a whole lot of
resilience?
Jodi (00:08):
Today we're diving into a topic that we don't always take
the time to think about Livingwith intention and owning your
life.
It's stepping off autopilot andmaking conscious, deliberate
choices to create the life youactually want.
Sherry (00:21):
Real quick, before we get into it.
.
.
a reminder that we're just twoyinzer ladies here shooting the
shit, talking about life.
We're not licensed therapistsor counselors or medical
professionals.
So if you are going throughsomething and need support, we
really encourage you to reachout to someone qualified who can
help you through it.
There's no shame.
All right, let's get into it.
On one of our recent episodes,we talked about getting through
life on autopilot, because oftenwe wake up, we go through the
(00:44):
motions and, before we know it,days, sometimes years, have
passed without us truly feelingin control.
I always say it's like ahamster on the wheel of life.
We're constantly in motion andthen one day, as life passes by
in a blur, we're askingourselves how did I get here?
And is this where I want to be?
Is it too late?
And what do I do now?
Jodi (01:08):
But, what if we could change that?
Today, we'll talk about what itmeans to live with intention,
why it's so important, and sharesome simple, practical ways to
take ownership of your life,starting today.
Sherry (01:14):
So, what it's really about is figuring out if you're
drifting or driving.
Do you ever feel like life isjust happening to you?
It's a tough realization.
We let routines, obligations,even fear, dictate our choices
and before we know it, we'rejust drifting.
Jodi (01:30):
Living with intention is taking the wheel, setting a
direction and deciding where itis you want to go.
Sherry (01:35):
I found one of the biggest indicators that you're
drifting is that feeling ofbeing stuck, overwhelmed or even
unfulfilled, and trust me, weget that.
Most of my life was spentdrifting.
All of these things werehappening the achievements, the
milestones, the awful times too,and everything in between.
But life was just flying by andit seemed like I was handling
it all.
(01:55):
I thought I had it all together, and then I had several health
issues that forced me to slowdown.
And once I slowed down, that'swhen I realized how much I
wasn't even close to havingcontrol over my life.
And somewhere along the way, Ifound a book out there called
the Body Keeps the Score, andlet me tell you it sure does,
and I was definitely losing.
That book was written by DrBessel van der Kolk.
(02:17):
It explains how our traumaticexperiences get stored in the
body and affects our health inways that people don't realize.
In the book he discussesvarious treatment approaches,
like therapy, mindfulness andmovement, that can help people
heal and regain control of theirlives.
In my quest to manage trigeminalneuralgia, along with
recovering from repeated andmultiple types of brain injuries
(02:40):
, while also in the busiestseason of my life, I learned
about the parasympathetic andsympathetic nervous systems, and
by learning about those thingsit helped me to find my way
forward, because it helped me toshift my perspective.
I made a decision to live alife of intention, and it was
that decision that changedeverything for me.
So today we want to share someof that with you.
Jodi (03:01):
So what does it actually mean to live with intention?
When I started hearing peopletalk about living with intention
, I got to tell you it irritatedme, like what the hell does it
even mean?
But does this sound familiar?
You wake up, grab your phone,you start checking and replying
to texts and emails before yourfeet even hit the ground.
You start getting ready forwork and you're thinking about
(03:21):
whatever else is coming at you.
You spend 10 minutes lookingfor your car keys, head to work,
with that feeling in your gutlike there's something you're
forgetting.
Yeah, that's the exact oppositeof living with intention.
So what living with intentionis really about, at least for me
, it's being in the presentmoment.
It's thinking about is myenergy going where it needs to
(03:42):
go, or the things that I'm doingright for me?
And when you take that stepback and you start thinking of
things that way and you startplanning ahead a little bit,
that's living with intention.
So think about, like now when Iwake up in the morning, I don't
touch my phone.
I do the things that I know aregood for me to do first.
(04:04):
I don't check my phone untilI'm at my desk and I'm ready to
go, and I've already done mystretching and my meditating.
And then I start thinking abouthow I'm responding to things
and what truly deserves andneeds my response.
Not everything needs immediateresponse from you.
Sherry (04:22):
Right.
Yeah, and that's a hard one.
It's so ingrained in us as apeople, as a society, that you
know we're not meant to be soconnected and wired to each
other to have to respondimmediately.
So living with intention meansthat you start focusing less on
others' reactions and more onhow you carry yourself and
(04:43):
protect what's important to you.
And that might mean taking thattime in the morning to center
yourself, to ground yourself, todo whatever you need to do to
make sure that you're takingcare of yourself before you can,
you know, get into all of thethings.
It's like there's a reason onthe airline where they tell you
you have to put on your own maskfirst, because you can't even
help anybody else if you're nottaking care of yourself.
(05:04):
So living intentionally meansaligning your actions with what
actually matters to you.
It means saying yes to what issupporting your growth and no to
the things that drain you.
And believe me, when you firststart doing that, people might
not understand, especially ifyou've always been the one to
say yes, if you've been the oneto keep the peace, if you pushed
(05:24):
yourself past your limits.
When you start settingboundaries and slowing down and
choosing what's best for you,not what's most convenient for
others, it can feeluncomfortable all around, not
just for you but for the peoplearound you and and I mean people
may question it, they may takeit personally.
Jodi (05:40):
Also, sometimes, when you change something dramatic, you
change a behavior.
I think it's a naturalinclination that people will
sometimes start seeing it fromtheir own.
Am I doing something wrong?
People get sensitive and thething about it is you can't take
that personally.
You may hear things, you know-you're different.
Why are you being difficult?
Especially when the truth isyour choices sometimes may have
(06:03):
served someone else's comfort,and now you're learning to put
yourself first, and it's notselfish, it's healthy and it's
necessary and it's okay.
And the people that matter,even if they first don't like it
, if they care about you,they're going to understand that
and everybody will come aroundand everyone that comes into
contact with you will be betterfor it too, because they're
(06:24):
getting a better version of you.
Sherry (06:26):
Right, you're able to show up better for the people
around you, even though it feelslike pulling away at first.
Sure, so some people might testyour boundaries.
They might test your boundariesor they may even pull away, and
that really hurts, especiallywhen it comes from people you
love.
But if your peace makes someoneelse uncomfortable, it might be
because they were putting itall on you and relying on your
(06:49):
burnout.
So living with intention isdeciding how you show up and
protecting what matters most.
Jodi (06:53):
Yes, 100% and honestly.
People may also surprise you.
I actually just had a situationrecently where somebody that I
often stepped in and helped hadasked me to do something.
And I just felt like what I wasbeing asked was just something
I couldn't do, and typically Iwould have figured out a way and
done all the things and I justsaid I'm really sorry, but I
(07:16):
can't do this.
And the response that I got wasactually shockingly positive.
It was I understand and I saidI love you, I just can't.
And it was I understand and Ilove you too, and I'll talk to
you soon.
And it was fine.
And I do find too, the more youdo it, the easier it becomes.
And also, I know, for me, bytaking those shifts, to make
(07:37):
conscious and deliberate choicesand to think about where my
energy needs to go and justdoing a little bit of
pre-planning and asking myselfthe question is what I'm about
to do serving my bottom line?
I feel like I'm back in thedriver's seat.
I feel so much more in control,I feel more confident, I just
feel better.
I actually just ran intosomeone and they said you look
like you're carrying yourselfdifferent or something.
(07:58):
You look better, you look likejust different.
And I thought, yeah, because Ifeel better, I feel different,
because I'm finally starting tofeel like I'm actually in charge
of my life.
Sherry (08:07):
Right, and it's the boundaries that are protecting
you and protecting your peace.
And living this way, I think,really brings clarity and you
start to see your relationshipsmore clearly and you begin to
see yourself more clearly.
You said it's like this is whatI need.
I need the space to be able tosay yes to the things that help
support you and your growth andeven your peace, and no to the
(08:29):
things that are too much.
So that kind of clarity buildsstrength, even in those seasons
that do feel .
..
Jodi (08:36):
Well, sure, and doing that helps bring that clarity too.
Because I feel like when we'renot living with intention, when
we're just responding, reactingto things, and you know, you
start hearing those things likeask yourself, what's your why,
what's your purpose?
You can't even define it.
You just can't because you justdon't.
You're all over the place.
And until you start thatstopping and taking the step
(08:57):
back and being intentional, it'snearly impossible to have the
clarity to know what's right andwrong for you.
Once you take that step back,then it's so much easier.
Over time, some of those samepeople just like the example I
gave about when I took the standand I was met with love instead
of discord.
You know, over time, somepeople in your life, they'll
(09:20):
come back around, even if thingsare difficult and uncomfortable
for them in the beginning.
When you start saying no, theymay become curious, they may
even become inspired by thechange in you and if they don't,
they're showing you somethingabout themselves as well.
Sherry (09:36):
Right, so we do grow through our discomfort, and that
can be for you or the peoplearound you.
So, if you are in anuncomfortable space where you
have started to say no andstarted to slow down and started
making different decisions,it's okay.
You can keep going and and youmay feel resistance, and that
doesn't mean that you're doingsomething wrong.
(09:56):
It usually means you're doingsomething new and that's where
growth happens.
Jodi (10:00):
Exactly, the first times I really stood and held firm to
boundaries that I decided Ineeded to set, I would get
physically sick, my hands wouldshake, I'd break out in a sweat,
all because I was going to sayno to someone, and it was really
, really difficult and I can saythat.
Does it still sometimes make meuncomfortable?
Sure, do I still sometimes havefeelings of guilt?
(10:22):
Absolutely, but it does geteasier every time you choose
yourself.
And it's not about shuttingsomebody out, the other person,
the person that you might be metwith, saying no.
It gives them more opportunityto grow and see their own
strength whenever they're notable to.
Well for sure.
It's like the thing with yourkids, right?
Child therapists say it all thetime when you do something for
(10:45):
your child instead of lettingthem do it for themselves,
you're giving them theimpression that they can't do it
.
But when you say, you know, doit, go clean up, go pack your
own lunch today, because you'recapable of packing your own
lunch today, then you're lettingthem know they're capable of
doing that.
So, in a way, when you have aboundary, it's really a place of
(11:07):
love for the person as well.
Sherry (11:09):
Exactly Right.
But that's a hard shift,especially as a nurturer,
because we think that we need toswoop in and answer every
request and demand.
I'm still a work in progress.
We all are.
Well, that's the thing- we allare and we always will be.
But it's really about bringingpeace into your daily life and
aligning your actions with whattruly matters to you and saying
(11:31):
yes to the things that serveyour growth and no to the things
that drain you.
It doesn't mean..
and this is another hard part.
.
.
it doesn't mean that thereisn't any trouble or that there
aren't hard things to face.
But living with intention helpsyou when you're in the midst of
those things and somehow you'restill able, in some ways, to
find calmness in your heart andfind some joy in each day.
Jodi (11:53):
Yes, it's that awareness and consistent effort.
It's choosing what aligns withyour goals, even in those small
ways every day, and by doingthat consistently when things
are good, when things are badand shit blows up in your face,
it tends to help you get back ontrack a little quicker.
Sherry (12:11):
Right.
Jodi (12:11):
So, let's get into the practical side of things.
How do we start living withintention?
Here's three key steps.
First, get clear on what youwant.
Take some time to think aboutwhat truly matters to you.
What kind of life do you wantto create?
What's your why?
Getting clear on those thingsgives you that motivation to
keep taking positive stepsforward, even on the days when
(12:32):
you just want to quit.
Sherry (12:33):
And, in the motivational spaces you hear this a lot
knowing your why.
.
.
know your why and Jodi wastalking about this earlier, but
there's a reason why it's soprevalent because knowing your
why really does hold so muchpower, and the reason is.
..
it gives your actions purposeand direction, instead of just
going through the motions.
You're making choices thataligns with what truly matters
(12:55):
to you, and then, when thechallenges come up, your why is
what keeps you motivated,helping you push through when
you want to give up.
It also helps you filter outall the distractions and focus
on what moves you forward.
So, living with intentionstarts by understanding why
you're doing something, becausewhen you know that every small
step becomes part of a bigger,more meaningful journey, and
(13:18):
when you have that type ofmindset, it keeps you from
falling back into habits andpatterns that no longer serve
you and it allows you to makechoices that align with your
goals and the life that youtruly want to build.
My why, like a lot of us, is mykids and the life that you truly
want to build.
My why, like a lot of us, is mykids.
Each of them has their ownstory, their own experiences
with trauma and loss.
Two went through foster careand adoption, carrying the
(13:41):
weight of early instability,while my other two experienced
loss in different ways, butregardless of their different
experiences, they all needed thesame thing: security, stability
and a parent they could counton.
When we lost their grandfatherto brain cancer, it was another
reminder of how fragile life canbe.
I knew then that if I wanted tobe there for them, truly be
there, I had to make my healthmy number one priority.
(14:03):
They deserved a mom who waspresent, strong and well, and
that meant making the choice totake care of myself, starting
that very moment when I realizedit.
Jodi (14:12):
So, your first step is getting clear on what you want
and why you want it.
Once you've got that, the nextone is making decisions with
purpose.
Before committing to doingsomething, ask does it align?
If not, it might be time to sayno.
Sherry (14:26):
Yeah.
Making decisions with purposealso means making intentional
choices each day that bring youcloser to that why.
As I mentioned, my why is tomake sure that I'm around for my
kids.
So, it was important for me toget a hold of my health
situation.
A turning point for me was whena friend suggested meditation.
And, I'm not going to lie, I waspretty damn pissed off that she
(14:49):
had the audacity to assume thatmeditation would fix things for
me.
But a few days later I thoughtwhat the hell?
And I downloaded a meditationapp and you know what?
It was then that I startedgetting intentional about the
choices that I made throughouteach day.
Because it turns out that whenI allowed myself to sit in
stillness, I began to understandwhat was actually happening
(15:09):
with my body and how all thelittle choices were either
having a positive impact orwrecking havoc on my nervous
system.
I realized that I had been insurvival mode for a very long
time and your body can only stayin that state for so long.
And that's when I learned aboutthe sympathetic and
parasympathetic nervous systemsand by understanding that, I was
able to get more intentionalabout my life.
(15:31):
And I'm super grateful thatthat suggestion was made by my
friend and I would never thinkof punching her in the face
anyway, but just to show howlike deeply angered I was and
just not understood.
So, it's a hard place to be in.
Jodi (15:45):
Right,
Sherry (15:45):
and that made me feel in that moment that nobody gets
this.
Jodi (15:49):
Well, I mean, you're in that fight or flight mode.
You're stuck there for so long.
Somebody says, oh, you shouldmeditate.
And you're like, yeah, so wetalk about the parasympathetic
nervous system a lot and there'sa reason.
So here's a quick explanation.
Non-medical, just us talkingexplanation.
The sympathetic nervous systemis your fight or flight mode.
(16:13):
It's like pressing the gaspedal.
It kicks in when you'restressed, in danger, in pain.
Your heart rate speeds up, yourmuscles tense, your body gets
ready to fight or run.
It's really useful inemergencies.
It gets us through a lot ofshit, but when it stays too long
, then it starts to wear youdown and then your
parasympathetic nervous system,your rest and recovery mode, is
(16:34):
like pressing the brakes.
It helps you calm down, lowersyour stress, helps you heal.
It's what allows you to relaxand sleep well and recover from
illness and injury.
Sherry (16:45):
Yeah, so for me, with trigeminal neuralgia, a facial
pain condition, a history ofmultiple brain injuries and a
state of chronic stress, mysympathetic system tends to act
like it's stuck on thataccelerator that you were
talking about.
My body constantly thinks it'sin crisis mode and that can make
pain worse and it can also keepone from fully healing.
(17:05):
That's why managing stress isso crucial.
Intentional practices liketaking a few minutes to yourself
for deep breathing, minutes toyourself for deep breathing, a
mindfulness exercise orintentional rest helps engage
the parasympathetic nervoussystem, which is your restful
state, which allows your body toslow down, recover and function
better.
(17:25):
And we'll talk more about thoseactual practices in another
episode, but for now,remembering that in all the
little decisions that you makeeach day, you're either pouring
into yourself or chipping awayat it.
And if you keep that, in allthe little decisions that you
make each day, you're eitherpouring into yourself or
chipping away at it, and if youkeep that thought in the
forefront of your mind, it'ssort of guides you through your
day and the choices that youmake, and you'll begin to move
(17:46):
toward living a more intentionallife.
Jodi (17:48):
Right, which brings us to the third takeaway taking small,
consistent actions.
You don't have to completelyoverhaul your life overnight.
Make one intentional decisionevery day, whether it's how
you're spending your time, whoyou're around, the habits you
cultivate.
I've noticed if I startscrolling on my phone, it
doesn't relax me, it ends upmaking me feel worse, and I have
(18:11):
to notice that and I have tonot let it happen.
It's a time sink that doesn'tserve me.
So I am much better off when,if I have to notice that and I
have to not let it happen, it'sa time sink.
That doesn't serve me.
So I am much better off when,if I have enough time to scroll
on my phone, I have enough timeto take a quick walk or actually
read a book or something.
That's going to create a betterfeeling in me than just
mindlessly scrolling.
Sherry (18:29):
That's right.
Oh, and this isn't something totreat like the newest exercise
craze or the new diet thatyou're starting.
It's not about being rigid.
You have to remember to giveyourself grace, because you're
not going to just jump in andlead this intentional guru type
life.
Jodi (18:44):
No, nor do you have to.
Sherry (18:46):
Right.
It's just about being mindfulof those things, the things that
take time to think about whenyou're on the hamster wheel of
life, playing whack-a-mole, youknow.
So, give yourself grace and bemindful of the choices that are
moving you closer toward thelife that you want.
But once you go in thatdirection and you find yourself
there, you don't find yourselfthere.
You take yourself there whenyou're living intentionally.
(19:06):
And living with intention helps,especially when you're
exhausted, when you're stuck orwhen you're facing a setback
that you didn't ask for.
We talked about how burnoutdrains you.
We talked about how autopilotnumbs you.
We talked about how big lifesetbacks can completely derail
you, and when you're in thoseplaces, it's easy to feel like
life is just happening to youand you're like, wtf, what the
(19:29):
hell is happening?
And your only job is to endureit.
And you get caught in survivalmode and reacting to whatever
comes next without a moment tobreathe, let alone choose.
But training your mind to livein intention disrupts that cycle
and that's why it's soimportant, because it's bringing
awareness and purpose to eventhe smallest moments.
It's asking what matters rightnow.
(19:52):
What do I need?
What's one choice that I canmake that moves me forward,
however slowly, it's that shift.
If it's a quiet shift or amessy shift that starts to
create momentum.
So, when you're burned out,intention helps you reclaim your
energy and direct it towardwhat fills you back up.
(20:13):
When you're on autopilot,intention invites you to slow
down and reconnect with your why, so that you're not just
constantly moving but movingwith meaning.
And when you've been knockeddown by life, intention becomes
your anchor.
It helps you steady yourselfand start again with clarity,
rather than waiting to feelready or be totally healed.
(20:37):
So, over time, livingintentionally reshapes how we
respond to stress, how you makedecisions, how you care for
yourself.
How you rebuild, you startshowing up differently for
others and for yourself, andthat's where the real change
begins.
So that's a wrap on today'sepisode.
(20:58):
Living with intention and owningyour life is not about having
it all figured out, but it'sshowing up for yourself every
day with purpose and clarity.
Jodi (21:06):
We hope this episode inspires you to take a step
toward a more intentional life.
And, hey, we'd love to hearfrom you what's one way you're
choosing to be more intentionalthis week.
Drop us a message.
We would really genuinely loveto hear from you.
Sherry (21:19):
Yep, and don't forget to celebrate those wins.
Remember our hashtag#4Wins4Yinz and keep track of
those things.
Give yourself a shout out forsomething you did that's good
for yourself.
Jodi (21:29):
It really does make a difference.
Thanks for joining us today.
Until next time, keep going,keep growing, because this is it
.
Sherry (21:37):
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platform.
Leave us a rating or a quickreview and share it with some
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(21:58):
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To learn more, visit us atthrivingyenzerscom.
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Help is available 24-7,nationwide at the
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(22:22):
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Okay, here comes the legalese,the oopsies and the yinzerese.
(22:42):
This podcast is forinformational and entertainment
purposes only.
The content shared is based onpersonal experiences and
perspectives.
Nothing shared on this podcastshould be considered
professional advice.
Thriving Yinzers LLC, its hostsor any associated parties are
not liable for any actions takenor consequences arising from
the information provided.
The views expressed by thehosts and guests are their own
(23:03):
and do not necessarily reflectthose of any organizations or
affiliations.
All right, okay, ready, ready.
I already fucked it up.
Wait, hold on.
Okay, ready, ready, I alreadyfucked it up.
Wait, hold on.
Okay, they were diving Blah,blah, blah.
Hold on, I need a drink ofwater, not vodka.
(23:29):
Today's lesson in Yinzerese.
gum bandPronunciation: Gum band
Translation (23:41):
rubber band In a sentence
band so I can wrap up thispierogi dough.
What it means?
It's what Pittsburghers call arubber band.
No one's really sure why, butif you grew up in the Burgh you
didn't question it.
Tangled up in life?
Stretch into something better.
(24:01):
This is it, the podcast byThriving
Yenzers.
Hello, welcome to this.
Is it the podcast by ThrivingYinzers, where we talk about
navigating life with clarity,purpose and a whole lot of
resilience?
Jodi (00:08):
Today we're diving into a topic that we don't always take
the time to think about Livingwith intention and owning your
life.
It's stepping off autopilot andmaking conscious, deliberate
choices to create the life youactually want.
Sherry (00:21):
Real quick, before we get into it.
.
.
a reminder that we're just twoyinzer ladies here shooting the
shit, talking about life.
We're not licensed therapistsor counselors or medical
professionals.
So if you are going throughsomething and need support, we
really encourage you to reachout to someone qualified who can
help you through it.
There's no shame.
All right, let's get into it.
On one of our recent episodes,we talked about getting through
life on autopilot, because oftenwe wake up, we go through the
(00:44):
motions and, before we know it,days, sometimes years, have
passed without us truly feelingin control.
I always say it's like ahamster on the wheel of life.
We're constantly in motion andthen one day, as life passes by
in a blur, we're askingourselves how did I get here?
And is this where I want to be?
Is it too late?
And what do I do now?
Jodi (01:08):
But, what if we could change that?
Today, we'll talk about what itmeans to live with intention,
why it's so important, and sharesome simple, practical ways to
take ownership of your life,starting today.
Sherry (01:14):
So, what it's really about is figuring out if you're
drifting or driving.
Do you ever feel like life isjust happening to you?
It's a tough realization.
We let routines, obligations,even fear, dictate our choices
and before we know it, we'rejust drifting.
Jodi (01:30):
Living with intention is taking the wheel, setting a
direction and deciding where itis you want to go.
Sherry (01:35):
I found one of the biggest indicators that you're
drifting is that feeling ofbeing stuck, overwhelmed or even
unfulfilled, and trust me, weget that.
Most of my life was spentdrifting.
All of these things werehappening the achievements, the
milestones, the awful times too,and everything in between.
But life was just flying by andit seemed like I was handling
it all.
(01:55):
I thought I had it all together, and then I had several health
issues that forced me to slowdown.
And once I slowed down, that'swhen I realized how much I
wasn't even close to havingcontrol over my life.
And somewhere along the way, Ifound a book out there called
the Body Keeps the Score, andlet me tell you it sure does,
and I was definitely losing.
That book was written by DrBessel van der Kolk.
(02:17):
It explains how our traumaticexperiences get stored in the
body and affects our health inways that people don't realize.
In the book he discussesvarious treatment approaches,
like therapy, mindfulness andmovement, that can help people
heal and regain control of theirlives.
In my quest to manage trigeminalneuralgia, along with
recovering from repeated andmultiple types of brain injuries
(02:40):
, while also in the busiestseason of my life, I learned
about the parasympathetic andsympathetic nervous systems, and
by learning about those thingsit helped me to find my way
forward, because it helped me toshift my perspective.
I made a decision to live alife of intention, and it was
that decision that changedeverything for me.
So today we want to share someof that with you.
Jodi (03:01):
So what does it actually mean to live with intention?
When I started hearing peopletalk about living with intention
, I got to tell you it irritatedme, like what the hell does it
even mean?
But does this sound familiar?
You wake up, grab your phone,you start checking and replying
to texts and emails before yourfeet even hit the ground.
You start getting ready forwork and you're thinking about
(03:21):
whatever else is coming at you.
You spend 10 minutes lookingfor your car keys, head to work,
with that feeling in your gutlike there's something you're
forgetting.
Yeah, that's the exact oppositeof living with intention.
So what living with intentionis really about, at least for me
, it's being in the presentmoment.
It's thinking about is myenergy going where it needs to
(03:42):
go, or the things that I'm doingright for me?
And when you take that stepback and you start thinking of
things that way and you startplanning ahead a little bit,
that's living with intention.
So think about, like now when Iwake up in the morning, I don't
touch my phone.
I do the things that I know aregood for me to do first.
(04:04):
I don't check my phone untilI'm at my desk and I'm ready to
go, and I've already done mystretching and my meditating.
And then I start thinking abouthow I'm responding to things
and what truly deserves andneeds my response.
Not everything needs immediateresponse from you.
Sherry (04:22):
Right.
Yeah, and that's a hard one.
It's so ingrained in us as apeople, as a society, that you
know we're not meant to be soconnected and wired to each
other to have to respondimmediately.
So living with intention meansthat you start focusing less on
others' reactions and more onhow you carry yourself and
(04:43):
protect what's important to you.
And that might mean taking thattime in the morning to center
yourself, to ground yourself, todo whatever you need to do to
make sure that you're takingcare of yourself before you can,
you know, get into all of thethings.
It's like there's a reason onthe airline where they tell you
you have to put on your own maskfirst, because you can't even
help anybody else if you're nottaking care of yourself.
(05:04):
So living intentionally meansaligning your actions with what
actually matters to you.
It means saying yes to what issupporting your growth and no to
the things that drain you.
And believe me, when you firststart doing that, people might
not understand, especially ifyou've always been the one to
say yes, if you've been the oneto keep the peace, if you pushed
(05:24):
yourself past your limits.
When you start settingboundaries and slowing down and
choosing what's best for you,not what's most convenient for
others, it can feeluncomfortable all around, not
just for you but for the peoplearound you and and I mean people
may question it, they may takeit personally.
Jodi (05:40):
Also, sometimes, when you change something dramatic, you
change a behavior.
I think it's a naturalinclination that people will
sometimes start seeing it fromtheir own.
Am I doing something wrong?
People get sensitive and thething about it is you can't take
that personally.
You may hear things, you know-you're different.
Why are you being difficult?
Especially when the truth isyour choices sometimes may have
(06:03):
served someone else's comfort,and now you're learning to put
yourself first, and it's notselfish, it's healthy and it's
necessary and it's okay.
And the people that matter,even if they first don't like it
, if they care about you,they're going to understand that
and everybody will come aroundand everyone that comes into
contact with you will be betterfor it too, because they're
(06:24):
getting a better version of you.
Sherry (06:26):
Right, you're able to show up better for the people
around you, even though it feelslike pulling away at first.
Sure, so some people might testyour boundaries.
They might test your boundariesor they may even pull away, and
that really hurts, especiallywhen it comes from people you
love.
But if your peace makes someoneelse uncomfortable, it might be
because they were putting itall on you and relying on your
(06:49):
burnout.
So living with intention isdeciding how you show up and
protecting what matters most.
Jodi (06:53):
Yes, 100% and honestly.
People may also surprise you.
I actually just had a situationrecently where somebody that I
often stepped in and helped hadasked me to do something.
And I just felt like what I wasbeing asked was just something
I couldn't do, and typically Iwould have figured out a way and
done all the things and I justsaid I'm really sorry, but I
(07:16):
can't do this.
And the response that I got wasactually shockingly positive.
It was I understand and I saidI love you, I just can't.
And it was I understand and Ilove you too, and I'll talk to
you soon.
And it was fine.
And I do find too, the more youdo it, the easier it becomes.
And also, I know, for me, bytaking those shifts, to make
(07:37):
conscious and deliberate choicesand to think about where my
energy needs to go and justdoing a little bit of
pre-planning and asking myselfthe question is what I'm about
to do serving my bottom line?
I feel like I'm back in thedriver's seat.
I feel so much more in control,I feel more confident, I just
feel better.
I actually just ran intosomeone and they said you look
like you're carrying yourselfdifferent or something.
(07:58):
You look better, you look likejust different.
And I thought, yeah, because Ifeel better, I feel different,
because I'm finally starting tofeel like I'm actually in charge
of my life.
Sherry (08:07):
Right, and it's the boundaries that are protecting
you and protecting your peace.
And living this way, I think,really brings clarity and you
start to see your relationshipsmore clearly and you begin to
see yourself more clearly.
You said it's like this is whatI need.
I need the space to be able tosay yes to the things that help
support you and your growth andeven your peace, and no to the
(08:29):
things that are too much.
So that kind of clarity buildsstrength, even in those seasons
that do feel .
..
Jodi (08:36):
Well, sure, and doing that helps bring that clarity too.
Because I feel like when we'renot living with intention, when
we're just responding, reactingto things, and you know, you
start hearing those things likeask yourself, what's your why,
what's your purpose?
You can't even define it.
You just can't because you justdon't.
You're all over the place.
And until you start thatstopping and taking the step
(08:57):
back and being intentional, it'snearly impossible to have the
clarity to know what's right andwrong for you.
Once you take that step back,then it's so much easier.
Over time, some of those samepeople just like the example I
gave about when I took the standand I was met with love instead
of discord.
You know, over time, somepeople in your life, they'll
(09:20):
come back around, even if thingsare difficult and uncomfortable
for them in the beginning.
When you start saying no, theymay become curious, they may
even become inspired by thechange in you and if they don't,
they're showing you somethingabout themselves as well.
Sherry (09:36):
Right, so we do grow through our discomfort, and that
can be for you or the peoplearound you.
So, if you are in anuncomfortable space where you
have started to say no andstarted to slow down and started
making different decisions,it's okay.
You can keep going and and youmay feel resistance, and that
doesn't mean that you're doingsomething wrong.
(09:56):
It usually means you're doingsomething new and that's where
growth happens.
Jodi (10:00):
Exactly, the first times I really stood and held firm to
boundaries that I decided Ineeded to set, I would get
physically sick, my hands wouldshake, I'd break out in a sweat,
all because I was going to sayno to someone, and it was really
, really difficult and I can saythat.
Does it still sometimes make meuncomfortable?
Sure, do I still sometimes havefeelings of guilt?
(10:22):
Absolutely, but it does geteasier every time you choose
yourself.
And it's not about shuttingsomebody out, the other person,
the person that you might be metwith, saying no.
It gives them more opportunityto grow and see their own
strength whenever they're notable to.
Well for sure.
It's like the thing with yourkids, right?
Child therapists say it all thetime when you do something for
(10:45):
your child instead of lettingthem do it for themselves,
you're giving them theimpression that they can't do it
.
But when you say, you know, doit, go clean up, go pack your
own lunch today, because you'recapable of packing your own
lunch today, then you're lettingthem know they're capable of
doing that.
So, in a way, when you have aboundary, it's really a place of
(11:07):
love for the person as well.
Sherry (11:09):
Exactly Right.
But that's a hard shift,especially as a nurturer,
because we think that we need toswoop in and answer every
request and demand.
I'm still a work in progress.
We all are.
Well, that's the thing- we allare and we always will be.
But it's really about bringingpeace into your daily life and
aligning your actions with whattruly matters to you and saying
(11:31):
yes to the things that serveyour growth and no to the things
that drain you.
It doesn't mean..
and this is another hard part.
.
.
it doesn't mean that thereisn't any trouble or that there
aren't hard things to face.
But living with intention helpsyou when you're in the midst of
those things and somehow you'restill able, in some ways, to
find calmness in your heart andfind some joy in each day.
Jodi (11:53):
Yes, it's that awareness and consistent effort.
It's choosing what aligns withyour goals, even in those small
ways every day, and by doingthat consistently when things
are good, when things are badand shit blows up in your face,
it tends to help you get back ontrack a little quicker.
Sherry (12:11):
Right.
Jodi (12:11):
So, let's get into the practical side of things.
How do we start living withintention?
Here's three key steps.
First, get clear on what youwant.
Take some time to think aboutwhat truly matters to you.
What kind of life do you wantto create?
What's your why?
Getting clear on those thingsgives you that motivation to
keep taking positive stepsforward, even on the days when
(12:32):
you just want to quit.
Sherry (12:33):
And, in the motivational spaces you hear this a lot
knowing your why.
.
.
know your why and Jodi wastalking about this earlier, but
there's a reason why it's soprevalent because knowing your
why really does hold so muchpower, and the reason is.
..
it gives your actions purposeand direction, instead of just
going through the motions.
You're making choices thataligns with what truly matters
(12:55):
to you, and then, when thechallenges come up, your why is
what keeps you motivated,helping you push through when
you want to give up.
It also helps you filter outall the distractions and focus
on what moves you forward.
So, living with intentionstarts by understanding why
you're doing something, becausewhen you know that every small
step becomes part of a bigger,more meaningful journey, and
(13:18):
when you have that type ofmindset, it keeps you from
falling back into habits andpatterns that no longer serve
you and it allows you to makechoices that align with your
goals and the life that youtruly want to build.
My why, like a lot of us, is mykids and the life that you truly
want to build.
My why, like a lot of us, is mykids.
Each of them has their ownstory, their own experiences
with trauma and loss.
Two went through foster careand adoption, carrying the
(13:41):
weight of early instability,while my other two experienced
loss in different ways, butregardless of their different
experiences, they all needed thesame thing: security, stability
and a parent they could counton.
When we lost their grandfatherto brain cancer, it was another
reminder of how fragile life canbe.
I knew then that if I wanted tobe there for them, truly be
there, I had to make my healthmy number one priority.
(14:03):
They deserved a mom who waspresent, strong and well, and
that meant making the choice totake care of myself, starting
that very moment when I realizedit.
Jodi (14:12):
So, your first step is getting clear on what you want
and why you want it.
Once you've got that, the nextone is making decisions with
purpose.
Before committing to doingsomething, ask does it align?
If not, it might be time to sayno.
Sherry (14:26):
Yeah.
Making decisions with purposealso means making intentional
choices each day that bring youcloser to that why.
As I mentioned, my why is tomake sure that I'm around for my
kids.
So, it was important for me toget a hold of my health
situation.
A turning point for me was whena friend suggested meditation.
And, I'm not going to lie, I waspretty damn pissed off that she
(14:49):
had the audacity to assume thatmeditation would fix things for
me.
But a few days later I thoughtwhat the hell?
And I downloaded a meditationapp and you know what?
It was then that I startedgetting intentional about the
choices that I made throughouteach day.
Because it turns out that whenI allowed myself to sit in
stillness, I began to understandwhat was actually happening
(15:09):
with my body and how all thelittle choices were either
having a positive impact orwrecking havoc on my nervous
system.
I realized that I had been insurvival mode for a very long
time and your body can only stayin that state for so long.
And that's when I learned aboutthe sympathetic and
parasympathetic nervous systemsand by understanding that, I was
able to get more intentionalabout my life.
(15:31):
And I'm super grateful thatthat suggestion was made by my
friend and I would never thinkof punching her in the face
anyway, but just to show howlike deeply angered I was and
just not understood.
So, it's a hard place to be in.
Jodi (15:45):
Right,
Sherry (15:45):
and that made me feel in that moment that nobody gets
this.
Jodi (15:49):
Well, I mean, you're in that fight or flight mode.
You're stuck there for so long.
Somebody says, oh, you shouldmeditate.
And you're like, yeah, so wetalk about the parasympathetic
nervous system a lot and there'sa reason.
So here's a quick explanation.
Non-medical, just us talkingexplanation.
The sympathetic nervous systemis your fight or flight mode.
(16:13):
It's like pressing the gaspedal.
It kicks in when you'restressed, in danger, in pain.
Your heart rate speeds up, yourmuscles tense, your body gets
ready to fight or run.
It's really useful inemergencies.
It gets us through a lot ofshit, but when it stays too long
, then it starts to wear youdown and then your
parasympathetic nervous system,your rest and recovery mode, is
(16:34):
like pressing the brakes.
It helps you calm down, lowersyour stress, helps you heal.
It's what allows you to relaxand sleep well and recover from
illness and injury.
Sherry (16:45):
Yeah, so for me, with trigeminal neuralgia, a facial
pain condition, a history ofmultiple brain injuries and a
state of chronic stress, mysympathetic system tends to act
like it's stuck on thataccelerator that you were
talking about.
My body constantly thinks it'sin crisis mode and that can make
pain worse and it can also keepone from fully healing.
(17:05):
That's why managing stress isso crucial.
Intentional practices liketaking a few minutes to yourself
for deep breathing, minutes toyourself for deep breathing, a
mindfulness exercise orintentional rest helps engage
the parasympathetic nervoussystem, which is your restful
state, which allows your body toslow down, recover and function
better.
(17:25):
And we'll talk more about thoseactual practices in another
episode, but for now,remembering that in all the
little decisions that you makeeach day, you're either pouring
into yourself or chipping awayat it.
And if you keep that, in allthe little decisions that you
make each day, you're eitherpouring into yourself or
chipping away at it, and if youkeep that thought in the
forefront of your mind, it'ssort of guides you through your
day and the choices that youmake, and you'll begin to move
(17:46):
toward living a more intentionallife.
Jodi (17:48):
Right, which brings us to the third takeaway taking small,
consistent actions.
You don't have to completelyoverhaul your life overnight.
Make one intentional decisionevery day, whether it's how
you're spending your time, whoyou're around, the habits you
cultivate.
I've noticed if I startscrolling on my phone, it
doesn't relax me, it ends upmaking me feel worse, and I have
(18:11):
to notice that and I have tonot let it happen.
It's a time sink that doesn'tserve me.
So I am much better off when,if I have to notice that and I
have to not let it happen, it'sa time sink.
That doesn't serve me.
So I am much better off when,if I have enough time to scroll
on my phone, I have enough timeto take a quick walk or actually
read a book or something.
That's going to create a betterfeeling in me than just
mindlessly scrolling.
Sherry (18:29):
That's right.
Oh, and this isn't something totreat like the newest exercise
craze or the new diet thatyou're starting.
It's not about being rigid.
You have to remember to giveyourself grace, because you're
not going to just jump in andlead this intentional guru type
life.
Jodi (18:44):
No, nor do you have to.
Sherry (18:46):
Right.
It's just about being mindfulof those things, the things that
take time to think about whenyou're on the hamster wheel of
life, playing whack-a-mole, youknow.
So, give yourself grace and bemindful of the choices that are
moving you closer toward thelife that you want.
But once you go in thatdirection and you find yourself
there, you don't find yourselfthere.
You take yourself there whenyou're living intentionally.
(19:06):
And living with intention helps,especially when you're
exhausted, when you're stuck orwhen you're facing a setback
that you didn't ask for.
We talked about how burnoutdrains you.
We talked about how autopilotnumbs you.
We talked about how big lifesetbacks can completely derail
you, and when you're in thoseplaces, it's easy to feel like
life is just happening to youand you're like, wtf, what the
(19:29):
hell is happening?
And your only job is to endureit.
And you get caught in survivalmode and reacting to whatever
comes next without a moment tobreathe, let alone choose.
But training your mind to livein intention disrupts that cycle
and that's why it's soimportant, because it's bringing
awareness and purpose to eventhe smallest moments.
It's asking what matters rightnow.
(19:52):
What do I need?
What's one choice that I canmake that moves me forward,
however slowly, it's that shift.
If it's a quiet shift or amessy shift that starts to
create momentum.
So, when you're burned out,intention helps you reclaim your
energy and direct it towardwhat fills you back up.
(20:13):
When you're on autopilot,intention invites you to slow
down and reconnect with your why, so that you're not just
constantly moving but movingwith meaning.
And when you've been knockeddown by life, intention becomes
your anchor.
It helps you steady yourselfand start again with clarity,
rather than waiting to feelready or be totally healed.
(20:37):
So, over time, livingintentionally reshapes how we
respond to stress, how you makedecisions, how you care for
yourself.
How you rebuild, you startshowing up differently for
others and for yourself, andthat's where the real change
begins.
So that's a wrap on today'sepisode.
(20:58):
Living with intention and owningyour life is not about having
it all figured out, but it'sshowing up for yourself every
day with purpose and clarity.
Jodi (21:06):
We hope this episode inspires you to take a step
toward a more intentional life.
And, hey, we'd love to hearfrom you what's one way you're
choosing to be more intentionalthis week.
Drop us a message.
We would really genuinely loveto hear from you.
Sherry (21:19):
Yep, and don't forget to celebrate those wins.
Remember our hashtag#4Wins4Yinz and keep track of
those things.
Give yourself a shout out forsomething you did that's good
for yourself.
Jodi (21:29):
It really does make a difference.
Thanks for joining us today.
Until next time, keep going,keep growing, because this is it
.
Sherry (21:37):
If something here spoke to you, please take a second to
make sure you are following theshow in your favorite podcast
platform.
Leave us a rating or a quickreview and share it with some
friends and family.
Every follow and review helpsus reach more people.
This is it Make it happen.
This podcast is a product ofThriving Yinzers LLC, a home
services business that helps youreclaim your time and space.
(21:58):
We conquer overwhelm bytackling your to-do list with
services like organizationalcoaching, home decluttering,
in-home laundry service andpersonalized lifestyle
assistance.
To learn more, visit us atthrivingyenzerscom.
If you or someone you know isin crisis, please reach out to a
trusted professional or crisishotline in your area.
Help is available 24-7,nationwide at the
988-SUICIDE-IN-CRISIS lifelineDial 988 to connect with a
(22:22):
trained crisis counselor forfree and confidential support.
If you are local to thePittsburgh area, resolve Crisis
Services offers 24-7 crisisintervention and stabilization
services to all Allegheny Countyresidents.
You can reach them by calling1-888-796-8226.
Okay, here comes the legalese,the oopsies and the yinzerese.
(22:42):
This podcast is forinformational and entertainment
purposes only.
The content shared is based onpersonal experiences and
perspectives.
Nothing shared on this podcastshould be considered
professional advice.
Thriving Yinzers LLC, its hostsor any associated parties are
not liable for any actions takenor consequences arising from
the information provided.
The views expressed by thehosts and guests are their own
(23:03):
and do not necessarily reflectthose of any organizations or
affiliations.
All right, okay, ready, ready.
I already fucked it up.
Wait, hold on.
Okay, ready, ready, I alreadyfucked it up.
Wait, hold on.
Okay, they were diving Blah,blah, blah.
Hold on, I need a drink ofwater, not vodka.
(23:29):
Today's lesson in Yinzerese.
gum bandPronunciation: Gum band
Translation (23:41):
rubber band In a sentence
band so I can wrap up thispierogi dough.
What it means?
It's what Pittsburghers call arubber band.
No one's really sure why, butif you grew up in the Burgh you
didn't question it.
Tangled up in life?
Stretch into something better.
(24:01):
This is it, the podcast byThriving
Yenzers.
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