August 21, 2023 • 33 mins
Have you ever felt the weight of a loved one's mental illness, like a storm you didn't ask for but must weather? I have been trying to navigate through the emotional turbulence of having a brother battling mental illness, the heartache of how societal structures failed him, and the confronting aftermath of a tragic incident. I also touch on the struggles of maintaining a positive attitude amidst workplace challenges, offering an honest look at the resilience required in such situations.
Ever wondered about the complexities of human behavior, and why we often get entangled in trying to understand the actions of others? I take you through the whirlpool of emotions and thought processes that confronts me when grappling with people's reactions, and the vital importance of letting go. Drawing on personal narratives, I shed light on the art of self-healing, the power of acceptance, and how liberating it can be to disconnect from others' frustrations and concerns.
Balancing life and setting priorities isn't always a walk in the park, is it? As I share my experiences of raising children, learning new skills, and the choice to publicly share my journey. I discuss breaking generational curses, and my perspective on managing life's unpredictabilities.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello everyone and welcome back to this Is Me.
I am Marilyn podcast and I havemy best friend with me, dana
Marie Beauty.
You're Hi friends, hi.
Thank you for joining mypodcast, of course you're
welcome.
So Dana's been with me allweekend and we have been friends
for almost 15 years now.
(00:22):
Well, we went to high schooltogether, but we really didn't
know each other.
I didn't, I just knew yourbrother, okay.
And I just knew that you werehis sister.
But we didn't hang out, we justpass each other.
It was nothing.
And whatever After high schoolwe then became, it was fate.
It was fate how it all workedout.
We won't go into the details,but we are just inseparable.
(00:45):
If you follow me, you see mymakeup, my photo shoots, dana
says my makeup and she's alwaysbehind the scenes in the photo
shoot and I cannot do anythingwithout her by my side.
I can, but I fail.
I cannot do it.
I tried to do one photo shootand Dana was in there and
(01:06):
everything just fell out ofalignment.
I hated my makeup, I hated thepictures, I hated everything.
And Dana's just there.
You're just there to just belike okay, friend, neck, chin,
waist, suck it in.
I think she'll do that.
(01:28):
We all need that.
But Dana's been with me thisweekend just because we went out
.
But I've been going through alot of kind of priority.
You didn't even get a tissue, Ididn't even get started.
But I think that when you gothrough something in life, it's
(01:48):
just so important to have theright support around you.
Some of the things, a few ofthe things, because when it
rains, it pours.
My brother is bipolar,schizophrenic, and it is
(02:12):
something that I don't talk alot about.
It not for any particularreason, but because it's just
something you deal with.
It's a family issue and it'sjust your second nature, so you
just.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
And it's overwhelming to talk about that all the time
.
You want to talk about it allthe time, it's already a lot.
It's not something you do in aregular Tuesday conversation.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Right, but it's just Right, exactly.
You deal with it and my brotheris an amazing soul.
He will give you the shirt offof his back.
We grew up in the hood.
Not too many people went tocollege, graduated.
He did all of that.
(02:58):
He was an all-American wrestler, has two masters degree, was a
teacher at one point in his life, has a beautiful son.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Has a big, has a disease, has trouble.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
And the mental illness just took over him when
he was up in college.
Fortunately, he was able tostill push through and the life
has been very challenging forhim, very difficult, very.
I felt like he just he hasnever accepted his illness, so
has never handled it properly.
But fortunately andunfortunately, the system failed
(03:37):
him in a sense because Well,but it also is because he has
family members he has gotteninto so much shit and because he
has me, or some of my familymembers, but particularly me,
because I've always been thepoint of contact has just been
there till just get him out ofshit or just like Once they see
(03:58):
like families involved, they'rewilling to help a little more.
So it just sucks like for thosepeople who do have mental
illness, they don't have anybody.
So to wrap up, what happened?
My brother has been off his maskfor about two months and he got
(04:21):
into a confrontation with aroommate and it was physical.
The man passed away, succumbedto his injuries as a result of
the fight, of the altercation.
So now my brother is in asituation where he may be going
(04:44):
to jail forever.
It's just like what, we justdon't know.
It's fairly new, but it's justso painful to deal with because
this isn't who he is and hewasn't in his right state of
mind, but at the end of the day,someone did lose their life.
(05:05):
How do you process that?
It's just very difficult allaround for all the parties
involved, and my heart reachesout.
These people lost somebody, soI'm dealing with that.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Then at work, Hello, how long y'all want this podcast
to be?
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
But it's like you know, I'm always trying to stay
positive, trying to liverighteous, and the weapons that
are just constantly, constantly,constantly, constantly, just
trying to be formed against me,it's I'm fighting them.
I get up every morning, I'mfighting them, then at work it
(06:10):
hasn't been the first time thatthis has happened, you know.
I've told you about it severaltimes.
I like how crazy my boss hasspoken to me and Thursday was
just like the straw that broughtthe camel's back.
He just violated my personalspace.
It was, and I the crazy part isthat I had told him that one of
the reasons why I got divorcedwas because of verbal abuse.
(06:34):
It is a trigger for me.
And when I tell you like I haveanxiety now because of it, like
my chest literally hurts, likethe pressure and everything, and
then for you to, a few dayslater, violate my personal space
and when I go and have ameeting with you, you just want
(06:57):
to like oh, it's just a regularTuesday, it's okay, it's not bad
, I had a bad day.
No, unacceptable.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
It's just insane.
Your bad day doesn't warrant mymistreatment.
This is you having a bad day.
You can't take it out on me.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
You can use people as a punching bag.
Absolutely not, and that wasthat's what's going on.
So I ain't got no job, Craig.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
I ain't got no job.
Wait, you want a copper.
Struck for that.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
And then I found out Rome's going to need his tonsils
removed.
This all happened in one day.
This happened on Thursday, oneday.
Well, at least you got it allout the way.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
You're right.
They say he's giving you oldbad news.
That's laid out and you justsort it.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
But to date he stood with me all weekend, we cried it
out, we danced it out, welaughed it out, and you have no
idea it's, it is a blessing.
Oh, and then I'll talk aboutlike I don't speak to my family
members anymore, not even my mom, and that in itself, like I've
(08:20):
been going through that the lastcouple of months because you
know that generational curse ofthat toxicity and you know it's.
I have been so intentionalabout finding my peace, removing
everything that is not for me,that is toxic.
(08:41):
And sometimes that can be yourown immediate family where they
talk about you, they're jealousof you, and you don't want to
even think like it's your own,because it's like, look at me,
I'm doing great, I'm, I'mstanding strong, like why
wouldn't you want the best forme?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Right and there's no, and the mess of ours is like
there really isn't a reason asto why you, you're coming
against me like this, like whatis?
What is the reason?
Yes, it's like the confusingpart, because it's just like,
but but you're my family.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
What am I missing?
But when they say, when you'retrying to break generational
curses, you will always have atarget on your back.
And that is what I feel, likeI'm experiencing, like I am
being faced with all of thesesituations as a test to be put.
(09:45):
Be you know, be uncomfortable,to bring me into the next
chapter, but right now I justneed a moment, right, right.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
It's like listen, let me call God right now and ask
him if I'm on his strongestsoldier list next year, 2024.
Don't put me on a roster, Idon't want to be the strongest
soldier.
Lord, do you hear me Like?
Speaker 1 (10:13):
you can't be like yeah, I did a video like that at
the end of 2020.
Like, I don't want to be likeLord, please.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
I don't want to.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
But you know, you're, you're.
You can't pick your family, butyou can pick your friends.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Right.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Right and your friends become your family.
That's right, so I appreciateyou.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Love you friend.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Thank you for cleaning me up.
Do you have an opinion or yourfeeling of anything that?
Speaker 2 (10:50):
No, I'm just taking a moment.
It's just, I guess, just withcertain situations, what you're
going through.
I'm like, I'm Be vocal, beblunt be.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
This is a diary for us.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
I'm very like baffled , I'm confused, like when you
look at stuff and you watchstuff, because you just don't
know people's thought processand you're like but why?
And that's always my question.
It's like but why?
What's going on, what'shappening?
Why is it?
Why you know, but you can'texplain people.
You can't.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
I think that the getting caught up on the why is
what really drives you to likeMadness.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Yeah, I need to know why Like that's my thing right.
Like I'll just leave it on andbe like no why.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
But I think we have to let go of the why, because
once you learn of the why, whatdifference is it going to make?
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Because then I'll know, like I'll understand, like
, if I know why, I can Eventhough, okay, let's say you
figure out the why.
I might not agree or whateverwith the why.
But I can either understand oryou know I can move from there.
I don't know like I would haveto know the why.
Sometimes it bothers me no forsure.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Perfect example.
Why was so many people botheredwhen I decided to announce that
I have a boyfriend?
Do you and guys?
That is really when everythingjust like Came to a head.
The can of worms have just.
(12:23):
I've been fighting weaponssince I've been announced or
since I started.
You know dating, and why.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
That is a million dollar.
Question Till this day.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Why was so many people bothered?
But it's like I had to let thatshit go, Because if I sit there
and try to figure out why thisperson, why that person, why
this person, why that person,that is a full time job.
Think about it, I'm trying tolook.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
We have enough time to understand ourselves.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Right, you can't, but I'm glad you said that.
But I know myself Because I'vetaken the time to work on myself
and heal myself.
So because I know myself thewhy as to why they're so
bothered.
They're bothered, I am botheredbecause we're going out, we're
(13:24):
going to concerts and dinnersand holding hands in the park,
Like I can't be bothered bytheir bothers.
Botheredness of the why, of whyI'm in a relationship as
convoluting as that's justsounded.
That's how chaotic and crazythe situation is.
So, if you said it, well, whythis person who gives a fuck?
(13:49):
And I had to learn that and Ihad to let that go and.
I had to.
That was the test.
How are you going to handle it?
Because if you're so worriedabout what other people say, if
you're so and for me, I'm thelast person to give a fuck what
anybody has to say.
But I think what was botheringme so much was that it was in my
inner circle, so because ofthat, it was hurtful.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
And that's why you'd want to know the why.
Because I feel like if it's soclose you know this is like if
you're in a circle or whateverit's like you should Like why is
it bothering me so much?
If it was strangers, you don'tgive a shit.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
But that's why the why bothers me Right, right, but
I had to let that go.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Yeah, you gotta let it go and try to move past it,
but it's just like for me Idon't feel like you can move, I
can't move, I wouldn't be ableto move past it and move forward
and everything is okay, unlessI knew why.
Because I don't know why, it'sabout to happen again.
It's going to happen again.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
I just feel like for me, I just reached to a point
where it was over and like itwas a movie on repeat and I was
the main character.
It's like why am I the maincharacter?
Why am I always being attacked?
I'm the one who's alwayshelping, I'm the one who's
always like the point of contact, I'm the one.
So why am I the one that'salways constantly getting
(15:09):
attacked?
And then, when you open up andstart confronting, now you're
confrontational, of course.
Now you're being argumentative.
Now you want to argue abouteverything.
Now you have, now I'm the issue.
Because now I'm starting to putsome uncomfortable, because I'm
asking about the why People arecrazy.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
It's a mad mad world.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
And I think for me everyone's like you're so nice,
You're so positive and stuff.
This is genuinely who I am andto me I don't know what people
equate to having a lot, but Iknow what my vision board looks
like.
I know what's on my goal list,so for me, I have what I need.
(16:03):
I want more, but I say that tosay like I don't even got it all
right and motherfuckers, isstill trying to disturb my peace
.
You know I'm saying like becausewhat's more important to me
than anything, than the materialstuff, it's just peace,
happiness and my children beinghappy.
(16:26):
Like that is my priority inlife, mm-hmm, is not to fuck up
my children.
Oh, right, right, that is mypriority in life.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
I'm breaking another generational curse.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
I'm always and I feel at it.
Sometimes I argue with my kidsfail.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Maybe not feeling fail, but sometimes it's just
like you don't have the answers.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
I don't have the answers.
I'm still trying to figure itout.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Like Everybody's still trying to figure out life,
and you did just.
So happens that you're allyou're trying to figure out your
life and the other little livesthat you have, so it's like
it's a lot, it's a lot.
No one has anything figured out.
Life is just everybody's justtrying to best.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Girl.
I'm trying between my brother,my job, the kids trying to you
know, balance everything tryingto be an entrepreneur.
Figure it all out.
You know I'm self-made.
No one's taught me.
I'm self-taught on everythingeverything you see, I'm
(17:39):
self-taught.
I've been doing this for over10 years.
When I was in Atlanta, I satthere for hours, learned how to
edit my videos.
Like you know, much money sweat, wasted on trying different
equipment I wasted well wasn'twell.
It was wasted by couldn't use itmoney, but it's trial and error
and yeah, and I'm not gonnastop because I enjoy doing it.
(18:02):
I'm not gonna give up.
I know, like I've always said,just sitting on the mic and
whatever, like this is my end.
Another thing people had anopinion about is how I handled
my divorce and how I put mybusiness out there, and the fact
that I have to explain topeople, or even the closest
(18:23):
people to me, like I Made thedecision to put myself out there
.
This social media world, we'reall living in it.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
What are?
Speaker 1 (18:33):
you that old-school mentality of what state happens
in the house stays in the house?
Don't talk, you know.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Keep your shit but I mean, for certain things, yeah,
you share what you want.
I need to know basis on a needto know basis or whatever the
case is.
But, um, I find that whensomebody like this they just
trying to portray, portray beinglike this good, like a good
husband or a good or whatever,whatever, and Behind closed
(19:02):
doors, you being something else,I'm telling, I'm telling, yeah,
like you said long gone otherdays, but I'm gonna be behind
closed doors suffering and no,why, if you want to tell it, you
(19:25):
tell it.
If it's a part of your story totell and you feel You're
comfortable enough in telling it, or whatever the case is, and
you don't mind, that's, that'sbasically your prerogative and
you're right to do.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
I just I've learned, I've noticed and I've learned.
You know I'm a human observer,like.
I'm able to just like observepeople, and you know I'm a very
confident person, not cocky,confident.
I just it's just always been mydemeanor since I was a little
girl and just very, you know,outgoing or whatever.
(19:58):
Not everyone's like that, andnot that I anyone assigned me to
be An advocate For that, but Iwas the girl in high school who
protected the nerds or the kidsthat got bullied because I was a
popular girl.
You know I never had a crowd.
(20:19):
I was in this crowd.
I jumped from this crowd tothat crowd, ta-da-da, because
don't box me in.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
I want to talk to, I want to talk to.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
I want to do what I do.
I showed used to show up toparties by myself.
I had my card.
No, can you know, because Iwant to get there when I want to
get there and I want to leavewhen I want to get Leave.
I'm still like that till thisday and I was drove my hoop-deep
to parties in high school.
Well, you know what I'm saying.
So for me I don't mind it, likewe're all life thing together,
(20:52):
practice what you post.
And for me to have theconfidence or the voice and be
like yo, this is just going on.
We live in social media.
We don't got yellow books orwhite pages or Rolodexes anymore
.
You know what I'm saying.
So it's like, all right if Iwant to be an entrepreneur.
This is what is this socialmedia shit about?
(21:15):
You know I'm almost 40, so I'ma little old school, but I'm
open-minded to move with thetimes, to change with the time.
So when I decided to put mymarriage out there, what
happened?
It wasn't fair for me to showeveryone sweating to the wedding
, the baby you showed, the wholegood, but none of the bad.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
It's.
I'm not fake.
Well, that's what social mediais right.
They're gonna show you the good, but they're not gonna show you
the air mattress on the floor.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
They're gonna take the picture right next to it.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Right, it's a perspective, right the angle and
shit like that, but you're onyour journey to be an influencer
or whatever, and you feel likeyou want to share that moment
because that's the real raw lifesituation.
This is what's happeningLiterally in real time and
there's, but you know what, eventhough there's still things
(22:14):
that you don't want to share,because you feel like you don't
have to necessarily share, justknow that I have to share
everything.
Every just know that this is theshit that's going on and it's
not just a decision that wasmade lightly.
I feel like there's no peoplethink they're just like, oh, you
just want to give.
It's just like there is shitthat's happened or happening and
stuff like that that can't bedealt with or you refuse to have
(22:39):
yourself in that situation, yourefuse to be in that.
You know what I'm saying andyeah, I don't say it because you
don't.
It's like if I did, it believeis for good reason, exactly, and
that's it Can you repeat thatagain.
If I did, it believe is for goodreasons, that's it.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Trust Right.
Trusting your friend, trustingyour person, that the decisions
that they're making in theirlife is for them, to feed them,
that they know what they'redoing.
Yeah, that one was strong Trustthat the decisions that they're
making it's for a reason.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
People just don't.
I don't know about other people, but I, you or whatever, we
just don't do things.
Just you know, becauseeverything is thought about day
and night, in a shower, in thebed, in the car, in the car.
Like you think about it, youthink about it, you think about
it, you make a move and you makethat move.
(23:41):
You've thought about it, so Idon't necessarily need anybody
else.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
To approve of it.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
To approve of it or to tell me or whatever the case
is, and if I feel like, if Ishare it with you, I feel like
we're close enough for you toget that information.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Do you know how many women?
And I guess maybe this is thepart that I don't share because
I don't do things for the thepraise and the glory and the
attention and shit like that.
The praise and the glory andthe attention exactly it was.
I was getting unindated with somany messages and emails and
(24:17):
literally I would send likevideo messages to mothers who
would ask me.
Or you know, like I had this,one mom is like I see what you
do with your kids.
And you know, people don't knowme how much of a mom I am or I'm
.
Now is when I'm starting toshare, like me yelling at Kaden
and stuff like that.
(24:38):
but I also want to respect theboys and you know I'm not
forcing them into my world and Idon't want them embarrassed and
whatever, but she's like do youhave any advice?
This is what's going on and mydaughter's suicidal.
You know like I take my time todo and I want to do it, like
(24:59):
the fact that you think that Ican have.
It's humbling and it's not easymaybe.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
I feel like I don't have it all together.
I'm still trying to figure itout.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
But you feel like you know, yeah, or you have to like
, ask me, like wow do you knowhow many women I receive
messages from once I put likeonce she fell for divorce six
months later.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
It's like, oh my god and people will share that
because they want to keep thisimage right, like everything is
okay, but I'm not.
Yeah, like everything's okaythey just stick it out because
they they're afraid of whatother people are gonna say.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
But but now they see here someone like me.
He put whatever and I just putit out, and now it gives them.
Women have left their husbandsor their mates because I did it.
They literally said I leftbecause of you.
Because you did it, I wasscared, you was, you had nothing
, I was sleeping on a couch.
(25:55):
This time last year you don'tsay what I'm saying, like for me
, so I'm not gonna go and sharepeople's stories or whatever, or
this is why I do it.
I don't need it like.
I'm sharing my story and I justhope that in the journey of it
all, I can help someone and thatfor me is payment enough.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
I need payment now, though god, you know, god, that
was a time.
Emotional payment's nice.
But that cash money, the stuffthat we can count, you'll like
that please.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
But um, I know we went on a little bit of a rant,
it's okay, I just had a light itout.
Thank you, friend.
I hope you come back to thepodcast where we do you talk
about this is new for me it'snew.
You were a little.
You were a little shy.
She was a little shy y'all.
That's not like talking.
(26:52):
I'm like signing to her.
Don't get to the mic, but inthe mic she's like get closer to
the mic.
I usually do um.
I started doing visual but, Iset up the camera today because
my eyes look like I got punched.
Oh, god, I'm just not feelingit right now, so you're just
gonna get the audio today, butit's all right as long as you're
getting this message.
(27:12):
Yeah, the message is life isgoing to life.
The message is that weapon, themoment you walk out of your door
, weapons are already forming,but you have to stay tentose
down and stay prayed up and stayin your faith so they do not
form, because the only way Ihave been able to get up every
(27:35):
day is with God and knowing heis lifting me and he's taking
the covers off of me, and he iscovering me that anything that
is happening in my life is notby mistake.
Everything is serves thepurpose so when you feel like
you're receiving a message, whenyou feel like God is trying to
reach out, when you say, hey,god, give me a sign, be steady,
(27:59):
be still, remain who you are,remain authentic, because God
will speak to you.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Yeah it's crazy.
It's like sometimes, when yousay God, please give me a sign
you're expecting, like um athunder lightning you're
expecting, like maybe like uh,something cute, or you know, the
wind will blow past you and itjust blew something at your feet
.
But no, sometimes a sign is theshit you're going through.
She's crazy.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Yeah, that's true you know what's crazy?
I know I was gonna wrap up andI don't know where I put my
journal.
That's right, this one hold on.
It's on the bedroom beforebefore I wrap up.
I do want to say this becausethat's so crazy that you said
that, that the sign is whatyou're going through, because
(28:47):
everything happened on Thursday.
Right, the altercation with mybrother happened last week, two
weeks ago, august 4th.
Um, I'm not sure exactly whenthe man passed, but I learned
that he's Thursday of it onThursday, like on Thursday more,
(29:10):
like I've been feeling just outof what just you know, like
with every, with all of that,with all of that news.
And Thursday morning I woke up.
I haven't really been on myroutine like that, I just
whatever.
Um, I woke up Thursday morning,I listened to a sermon, as I
usually do every morning, got onmy computer, did a few things
(29:31):
before I went to work and Iwrote in my journal and I was
writing in my journal.
I'm not always writing in myjournal, excuse me, um, but I do
write my visions and stuff likethat.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
But this particular day I just just like something
to separate in your journal andthis was before you got all the
information, because you werejust starting your morning this
was starting my Thursday morning, when everything happened, when
I learned of my brother theshit that happened at work.
No, but when you wrote in yourjournal, was this before you
found out about your brother.
Instead, this was like earlymorning yeah early, early early.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Yeah, before I left the house in the morning early,
it was like seven o'clock in themorning.
Hold on, oh no, was that?
This was 8, 17 me today wastoday.
Okay, I'm not gonna read thewhole journal but I'm gonna read
(30:25):
the last paragraph, because thepoint is I'm piggybacking off
what you said that sometimes,when you ask for a sign, the
sign is what you're actuallygoing through.
And before I left my house togo to work, I wrote the only
thing in my life right now, god,that I wish I can change is not
having to go to an office andbeing able to work from home and
(30:46):
when I was verbally abused.
An hour later when I got to workand I walked out of that office
and they were like begging meback, calling me back, and I was
so close to call going back.
I'm like no, but I was alreadylike having my anxiety attacks,
(31:09):
like crying, like I am just, Iwas just miserable, I was just
miserable.
But then I just think about mykids and rent is due and this is
this, and you got bills and ohmy god, like my shit is not
cheap, like what am I gonna do?
Like I need?
And I was on the phone with mysister and she's like, but
(31:30):
didn't you ask God this morning?
right did you not ask God thismorning that you did not want to
go to an office?
And now he's removing it andyou're gonna be disobedient and
go back?
I said, well, you're right,you're right.
I left.
(31:51):
I stay ten toes down.
I had a meeting yesterday.
The gas lighted me.
I was just like like I was inwhat do you call like an
assimilation?
Speaker 2 (32:02):
yeah, yeah, I'm like, are we?
Speaker 1 (32:07):
just gonna act like my personal space wasn't
violated, that I wasn't treatedlike I was a toddler like I was
in, verbally assaulted andalmost physically assaulted,
like there's several complaintsthat I've submitted of being
spoken to in a condescendingtone, whatever nothing.
(32:28):
No, we're gonna know that so soyou're right, the signs can come
good or bad, but pay attention,mm-hmm.
Pay attention and beintentional.
I saw like offer today.
Thank you, dana Marie beauty.
You can follow her on Instagramall her social medias.
(32:49):
Dana Marie Beauty spelled outhow it sounds exactly DNAH Marie
beauty as always.
Thank you for tuning in, like,subscribe, share, tell somebody
and tell somebody, and I willtalk to you soon.
Hello everyone and welcome back to this Is Me.
I am Marilyn podcast and I havemy best friend with me, dana
Marie Beauty.
You're Hi friends, hi.
Thank you for joining mypodcast, of course you're
welcome.
So Dana's been with me allweekend and we have been friends
for almost 15 years now.
(00:22):
Well, we went to high schooltogether, but we really didn't
know each other.
I didn't, I just knew yourbrother, okay.
And I just knew that you werehis sister.
But we didn't hang out, we justpass each other.
It was nothing.
And whatever After high schoolwe then became, it was fate.
It was fate how it all workedout.
We won't go into the details,but we are just inseparable.
(00:45):
If you follow me, you see mymakeup, my photo shoots, dana
says my makeup and she's alwaysbehind the scenes in the photo
shoot and I cannot do anythingwithout her by my side.
I can, but I fail.
I cannot do it.
I tried to do one photo shootand Dana was in there and
(01:06):
everything just fell out ofalignment.
I hated my makeup, I hated thepictures, I hated everything.
And Dana's just there.
You're just there to just belike okay, friend, neck, chin,
waist, suck it in.
I think she'll do that.
(01:28):
We all need that.
But Dana's been with me thisweekend just because we went out
.
But I've been going through alot of kind of priority.
You didn't even get a tissue, Ididn't even get started.
But I think that when you gothrough something in life, it's
(01:48):
just so important to have theright support around you.
Some of the things, a few ofthe things, because when it
rains, it pours.
My brother is bipolar,schizophrenic, and it is
(02:12):
something that I don't talk alot about.
It not for any particularreason, but because it's just
something you deal with.
It's a family issue and it'sjust your second nature, so you
just.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
And it's overwhelming to talk about that all the time
.
You want to talk about it allthe time, it's already a lot.
It's not something you do in aregular Tuesday conversation.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Right, but it's just Right, exactly.
You deal with it and my brotheris an amazing soul.
He will give you the shirt offof his back.
We grew up in the hood.
Not too many people went tocollege, graduated.
He did all of that.
(02:58):
He was an all-American wrestler, has two masters degree, was a
teacher at one point in his life, has a beautiful son.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Has a big, has a disease, has trouble.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
And the mental illness just took over him when
he was up in college.
Fortunately, he was able tostill push through and the life
has been very challenging forhim, very difficult, very.
I felt like he just he hasnever accepted his illness, so
has never handled it properly.
But fortunately andunfortunately, the system failed
(03:37):
him in a sense because Well,but it also is because he has
family members he has gotteninto so much shit and because he
has me, or some of my familymembers, but particularly me,
because I've always been thepoint of contact has just been
there till just get him out ofshit or just like Once they see
(03:58):
like families involved, they'rewilling to help a little more.
So it just sucks like for thosepeople who do have mental
illness, they don't have anybody.
So to wrap up, what happened?
My brother has been off his maskfor about two months and he got
(04:21):
into a confrontation with aroommate and it was physical.
The man passed away, succumbedto his injuries as a result of
the fight, of the altercation.
So now my brother is in asituation where he may be going
(04:44):
to jail forever.
It's just like what, we justdon't know.
It's fairly new, but it's justso painful to deal with because
this isn't who he is and hewasn't in his right state of
mind, but at the end of the day,someone did lose their life.
(05:05):
How do you process that?
It's just very difficult allaround for all the parties
involved, and my heart reachesout.
These people lost somebody, soI'm dealing with that.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Then at work, Hello, how long y'all want this podcast
to be?
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
But it's like you know, I'm always trying to stay
positive, trying to liverighteous, and the weapons that
are just constantly, constantly,constantly, constantly, just
trying to be formed against me,it's I'm fighting them.
I get up every morning, I'mfighting them, then at work it
(06:10):
hasn't been the first time thatthis has happened, you know.
I've told you about it severaltimes.
I like how crazy my boss hasspoken to me and Thursday was
just like the straw that broughtthe camel's back.
He just violated my personalspace.
It was, and I the crazy part isthat I had told him that one of
the reasons why I got divorcedwas because of verbal abuse.
(06:34):
It is a trigger for me.
And when I tell you like I haveanxiety now because of it, like
my chest literally hurts, likethe pressure and everything, and
then for you to, a few dayslater, violate my personal space
and when I go and have ameeting with you, you just want
(06:57):
to like oh, it's just a regularTuesday, it's okay, it's not bad
, I had a bad day.
No, unacceptable.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
It's just insane.
Your bad day doesn't warrant mymistreatment.
This is you having a bad day.
You can't take it out on me.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
You can use people as a punching bag.
Absolutely not, and that wasthat's what's going on.
So I ain't got no job, Craig.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
I ain't got no job.
Wait, you want a copper.
Struck for that.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
And then I found out Rome's going to need his tonsils
removed.
This all happened in one day.
This happened on Thursday, oneday.
Well, at least you got it allout the way.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
You're right.
They say he's giving you oldbad news.
That's laid out and you justsort it.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
But to date he stood with me all weekend, we cried it
out, we danced it out, welaughed it out, and you have no
idea it's, it is a blessing.
Oh, and then I'll talk aboutlike I don't speak to my family
members anymore, not even my mom, and that in itself, like I've
(08:20):
been going through that the lastcouple of months because you
know that generational curse ofthat toxicity and you know it's.
I have been so intentionalabout finding my peace, removing
everything that is not for me,that is toxic.
(08:41):
And sometimes that can be yourown immediate family where they
talk about you, they're jealousof you, and you don't want to
even think like it's your own,because it's like, look at me,
I'm doing great, I'm, I'mstanding strong, like why
wouldn't you want the best forme?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Right and there's no, and the mess of ours is like
there really isn't a reason asto why you, you're coming
against me like this, like whatis?
What is the reason?
Yes, it's like the confusingpart, because it's just like,
but but you're my family.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
What am I missing?
But when they say, when you'retrying to break generational
curses, you will always have atarget on your back.
And that is what I feel, likeI'm experiencing, like I am
being faced with all of thesesituations as a test to be put.
(09:45):
Be you know, be uncomfortable,to bring me into the next
chapter, but right now I justneed a moment, right, right.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
It's like listen, let me call God right now and ask
him if I'm on his strongestsoldier list next year, 2024.
Don't put me on a roster, Idon't want to be the strongest
soldier.
Lord, do you hear me Like?
Speaker 1 (10:13):
you can't be like yeah, I did a video like that at
the end of 2020.
Like, I don't want to be likeLord, please.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
I don't want to.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
But you know, you're, you're.
You can't pick your family, butyou can pick your friends.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Right.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Right and your friends become your family.
That's right, so I appreciateyou.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Love you friend.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Thank you for cleaning me up.
Do you have an opinion or yourfeeling of anything that?
Speaker 2 (10:50):
No, I'm just taking a moment.
It's just, I guess, just withcertain situations, what you're
going through.
I'm like, I'm Be vocal, beblunt be.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
This is a diary for us.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
I'm very like baffled , I'm confused, like when you
look at stuff and you watchstuff, because you just don't
know people's thought processand you're like but why?
And that's always my question.
It's like but why?
What's going on, what'shappening?
Why is it?
Why you know, but you can'texplain people.
You can't.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
I think that the getting caught up on the why is
what really drives you to likeMadness.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Yeah, I need to know why Like that's my thing right.
Like I'll just leave it on andbe like no why.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
But I think we have to let go of the why, because
once you learn of the why, whatdifference is it going to make?
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Because then I'll know, like I'll understand, like
, if I know why, I can Eventhough, okay, let's say you
figure out the why.
I might not agree or whateverwith the why.
But I can either understand oryou know I can move from there.
I don't know like I would haveto know the why.
Sometimes it bothers me no forsure.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Perfect example.
Why was so many people botheredwhen I decided to announce that
I have a boyfriend?
Do you and guys?
That is really when everythingjust like Came to a head.
The can of worms have just.
(12:23):
I've been fighting weaponssince I've been announced or
since I started.
You know dating, and why.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
That is a million dollar.
Question Till this day.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Why was so many people bothered?
But it's like I had to let thatshit go, Because if I sit there
and try to figure out why thisperson, why that person, why
this person, why that person,that is a full time job.
Think about it, I'm trying tolook.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
We have enough time to understand ourselves.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Right, you can't, but I'm glad you said that.
But I know myself Because I'vetaken the time to work on myself
and heal myself.
So because I know myself thewhy as to why they're so
bothered.
They're bothered, I am botheredbecause we're going out, we're
(13:24):
going to concerts and dinnersand holding hands in the park,
Like I can't be bothered bytheir bothers.
Botheredness of the why, of whyI'm in a relationship as
convoluting as that's justsounded.
That's how chaotic and crazythe situation is.
So, if you said it, well, whythis person who gives a fuck?
(13:49):
And I had to learn that and Ihad to let that go and.
I had to.
That was the test.
How are you going to handle it?
Because if you're so worriedabout what other people say, if
you're so and for me, I'm thelast person to give a fuck what
anybody has to say.
But I think what was botheringme so much was that it was in my
inner circle, so because ofthat, it was hurtful.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
And that's why you'd want to know the why.
Because I feel like if it's soclose you know this is like if
you're in a circle or whateverit's like you should Like why is
it bothering me so much?
If it was strangers, you don'tgive a shit.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
But that's why the why bothers me Right, right, but
I had to let that go.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Yeah, you gotta let it go and try to move past it,
but it's just like for me Idon't feel like you can move, I
can't move, I wouldn't be ableto move past it and move forward
and everything is okay, unlessI knew why.
Because I don't know why, it'sabout to happen again.
It's going to happen again.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
I just feel like for me, I just reached to a point
where it was over and like itwas a movie on repeat and I was
the main character.
It's like why am I the maincharacter?
Why am I always being attacked?
I'm the one who's alwayshelping, I'm the one who's
always like the point of contact, I'm the one.
So why am I the one that'salways constantly getting
(15:09):
attacked?
And then, when you open up andstart confronting, now you're
confrontational, of course.
Now you're being argumentative.
Now you want to argue abouteverything.
Now you have, now I'm the issue.
Because now I'm starting to putsome uncomfortable, because I'm
asking about the why People arecrazy.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
It's a mad mad world.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
And I think for me everyone's like you're so nice,
You're so positive and stuff.
This is genuinely who I am andto me I don't know what people
equate to having a lot, but Iknow what my vision board looks
like.
I know what's on my goal list,so for me, I have what I need.
(16:03):
I want more, but I say that tosay like I don't even got it all
right and motherfuckers, isstill trying to disturb my peace
.
You know I'm saying like becausewhat's more important to me
than anything, than the materialstuff, it's just peace,
happiness and my children beinghappy.
(16:26):
Like that is my priority inlife, mm-hmm, is not to fuck up
my children.
Oh, right, right, that is mypriority in life.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
I'm breaking another generational curse.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
I'm always and I feel at it.
Sometimes I argue with my kidsfail.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Maybe not feeling fail, but sometimes it's just
like you don't have the answers.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
I don't have the answers.
I'm still trying to figure itout.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Like Everybody's still trying to figure out life,
and you did just.
So happens that you're allyou're trying to figure out your
life and the other little livesthat you have, so it's like
it's a lot, it's a lot.
No one has anything figured out.
Life is just everybody's justtrying to best.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Girl.
I'm trying between my brother,my job, the kids trying to you
know, balance everything tryingto be an entrepreneur.
Figure it all out.
You know I'm self-made.
No one's taught me.
I'm self-taught on everythingeverything you see, I'm
(17:39):
self-taught.
I've been doing this for over10 years.
When I was in Atlanta, I satthere for hours, learned how to
edit my videos.
Like you know, much money sweat, wasted on trying different
equipment I wasted well wasn'twell.
It was wasted by couldn't use itmoney, but it's trial and error
and yeah, and I'm not gonnastop because I enjoy doing it.
(18:02):
I'm not gonna give up.
I know, like I've always said,just sitting on the mic and
whatever, like this is my end.
Another thing people had anopinion about is how I handled
my divorce and how I put mybusiness out there, and the fact
that I have to explain topeople, or even the closest
(18:23):
people to me, like I Made thedecision to put myself out there
.
This social media world, we'reall living in it.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
What are?
Speaker 1 (18:33):
you that old-school mentality of what state happens
in the house stays in the house?
Don't talk, you know.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Keep your shit but I mean, for certain things, yeah,
you share what you want.
I need to know basis on a needto know basis or whatever the
case is.
But, um, I find that whensomebody like this they just
trying to portray, portray beinglike this good, like a good
husband or a good or whatever,whatever, and Behind closed
(19:02):
doors, you being something else,I'm telling, I'm telling, yeah,
like you said long gone otherdays, but I'm gonna be behind
closed doors suffering and no,why, if you want to tell it, you
(19:25):
tell it.
If it's a part of your story totell and you feel You're
comfortable enough in telling it, or whatever the case is, and
you don't mind, that's, that'sbasically your prerogative and
you're right to do.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
I just I've learned, I've noticed and I've learned.
You know I'm a human observer,like.
I'm able to just like observepeople, and you know I'm a very
confident person, not cocky,confident.
I just it's just always been mydemeanor since I was a little
girl and just very, you know,outgoing or whatever.
(19:58):
Not everyone's like that, andnot that I anyone assigned me to
be An advocate For that, but Iwas the girl in high school who
protected the nerds or the kidsthat got bullied because I was a
popular girl.
You know I never had a crowd.
(20:19):
I was in this crowd.
I jumped from this crowd tothat crowd, ta-da-da, because
don't box me in.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
I want to talk to, I want to talk to.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
I want to do what I do.
I showed used to show up toparties by myself.
I had my card.
No, can you know, because Iwant to get there when I want to
get there and I want to leavewhen I want to get Leave.
I'm still like that till thisday and I was drove my hoop-deep
to parties in high school.
Well, you know what I'm saying.
So for me I don't mind it, likewe're all life thing together,
(20:52):
practice what you post.
And for me to have theconfidence or the voice and be
like yo, this is just going on.
We live in social media.
We don't got yellow books orwhite pages or Rolodexes anymore
.
You know what I'm saying.
So it's like, all right if Iwant to be an entrepreneur.
This is what is this socialmedia shit about?
(21:15):
You know I'm almost 40, so I'ma little old school, but I'm
open-minded to move with thetimes, to change with the time.
So when I decided to put mymarriage out there, what
happened?
It wasn't fair for me to showeveryone sweating to the wedding
, the baby you showed, the wholegood, but none of the bad.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
It's.
I'm not fake.
Well, that's what social mediais right.
They're gonna show you the good, but they're not gonna show you
the air mattress on the floor.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
They're gonna take the picture right next to it.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Right, it's a perspective, right the angle and
shit like that, but you're onyour journey to be an influencer
or whatever, and you feel likeyou want to share that moment
because that's the real raw lifesituation.
This is what's happeningLiterally in real time and
there's, but you know what, eventhough there's still things
(22:14):
that you don't want to share,because you feel like you don't
have to necessarily share, justknow that I have to share
everything.
Every just know that this is theshit that's going on and it's
not just a decision that wasmade lightly.
I feel like there's no peoplethink they're just like, oh, you
just want to give.
It's just like there is shitthat's happened or happening and
stuff like that that can't bedealt with or you refuse to have
(22:39):
yourself in that situation, yourefuse to be in that.
You know what I'm saying andyeah, I don't say it because you
don't.
It's like if I did, it believeis for good reason, exactly, and
that's it Can you repeat thatagain.
If I did, it believe is for goodreasons, that's it.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Trust Right.
Trusting your friend, trustingyour person, that the decisions
that they're making in theirlife is for them, to feed them,
that they know what they'redoing.
Yeah, that one was strong Trustthat the decisions that they're
making it's for a reason.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
People just don't.
I don't know about other people, but I, you or whatever, we
just don't do things.
Just you know, becauseeverything is thought about day
and night, in a shower, in thebed, in the car, in the car.
Like you think about it, youthink about it, you think about
it, you make a move and you makethat move.
(23:41):
You've thought about it, so Idon't necessarily need anybody
else.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
To approve of it.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
To approve of it or to tell me or whatever the case
is, and if I feel like, if Ishare it with you, I feel like
we're close enough for you toget that information.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Do you know how many women?
And I guess maybe this is thepart that I don't share because
I don't do things for the thepraise and the glory and the
attention and shit like that.
The praise and the glory andthe attention exactly it was.
I was getting unindated with somany messages and emails and
(24:17):
literally I would send likevideo messages to mothers who
would ask me.
Or you know, like I had this,one mom is like I see what you
do with your kids.
And you know, people don't knowme how much of a mom I am or I'm
.
Now is when I'm starting toshare, like me yelling at Kaden
and stuff like that.
(24:38):
but I also want to respect theboys and you know I'm not
forcing them into my world and Idon't want them embarrassed and
whatever, but she's like do youhave any advice?
This is what's going on and mydaughter's suicidal.
You know like I take my time todo and I want to do it, like
(24:59):
the fact that you think that Ican have.
It's humbling and it's not easymaybe.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
I feel like I don't have it all together.
I'm still trying to figure itout.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
But you feel like you know, yeah, or you have to like
, ask me, like wow do you knowhow many women I receive
messages from once I put likeonce she fell for divorce six
months later.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
It's like, oh my god and people will share that
because they want to keep thisimage right, like everything is
okay, but I'm not.
Yeah, like everything's okaythey just stick it out because
they they're afraid of whatother people are gonna say.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
But but now they see here someone like me.
He put whatever and I just putit out, and now it gives them.
Women have left their husbandsor their mates because I did it.
They literally said I leftbecause of you.
Because you did it, I wasscared, you was, you had nothing
, I was sleeping on a couch.
(25:55):
This time last year you don'tsay what I'm saying, like for me
, so I'm not gonna go and sharepeople's stories or whatever, or
this is why I do it.
I don't need it like.
I'm sharing my story and I justhope that in the journey of it
all, I can help someone and thatfor me is payment enough.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
I need payment now, though god, you know, god, that
was a time.
Emotional payment's nice.
But that cash money, the stuffthat we can count, you'll like
that please.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
But um, I know we went on a little bit of a rant,
it's okay, I just had a light itout.
Thank you, friend.
I hope you come back to thepodcast where we do you talk
about this is new for me it'snew.
You were a little.
You were a little shy.
She was a little shy y'all.
That's not like talking.
(26:52):
I'm like signing to her.
Don't get to the mic, but inthe mic she's like get closer to
the mic.
I usually do um.
I started doing visual but, Iset up the camera today because
my eyes look like I got punched.
Oh, god, I'm just not feelingit right now, so you're just
gonna get the audio today, butit's all right as long as you're
getting this message.
(27:12):
Yeah, the message is life isgoing to life.
The message is that weapon, themoment you walk out of your door
, weapons are already forming,but you have to stay tentose
down and stay prayed up and stayin your faith so they do not
form, because the only way Ihave been able to get up every
(27:35):
day is with God and knowing heis lifting me and he's taking
the covers off of me, and he iscovering me that anything that
is happening in my life is notby mistake.
Everything is serves thepurpose so when you feel like
you're receiving a message, whenyou feel like God is trying to
reach out, when you say, hey,god, give me a sign, be steady,
(27:59):
be still, remain who you are,remain authentic, because God
will speak to you.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Yeah it's crazy.
It's like sometimes, when yousay God, please give me a sign
you're expecting, like um athunder lightning you're
expecting, like maybe like uh,something cute, or you know, the
wind will blow past you and itjust blew something at your feet
.
But no, sometimes a sign is theshit you're going through.
She's crazy.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Yeah, that's true you know what's crazy?
I know I was gonna wrap up andI don't know where I put my
journal.
That's right, this one hold on.
It's on the bedroom beforebefore I wrap up.
I do want to say this becausethat's so crazy that you said
that, that the sign is whatyou're going through, because
(28:47):
everything happened on Thursday.
Right, the altercation with mybrother happened last week, two
weeks ago, august 4th.
Um, I'm not sure exactly whenthe man passed, but I learned
that he's Thursday of it onThursday, like on Thursday more,
(29:10):
like I've been feeling just outof what just you know, like
with every, with all of that,with all of that news.
And Thursday morning I woke up.
I haven't really been on myroutine like that, I just
whatever.
Um, I woke up Thursday morning,I listened to a sermon, as I
usually do every morning, got onmy computer, did a few things
(29:31):
before I went to work and Iwrote in my journal and I was
writing in my journal.
I'm not always writing in myjournal, excuse me, um, but I do
write my visions and stuff likethat.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
But this particular day I just just like something
to separate in your journal andthis was before you got all the
information, because you werejust starting your morning this
was starting my Thursday morning, when everything happened, when
I learned of my brother theshit that happened at work.
No, but when you wrote in yourjournal, was this before you
found out about your brother.
Instead, this was like earlymorning yeah early, early early.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Yeah, before I left the house in the morning early,
it was like seven o'clock in themorning.
Hold on, oh no, was that?
This was 8, 17 me today wastoday.
Okay, I'm not gonna read thewhole journal but I'm gonna read
(30:25):
the last paragraph, because thepoint is I'm piggybacking off
what you said that sometimes,when you ask for a sign, the
sign is what you're actuallygoing through.
And before I left my house togo to work, I wrote the only
thing in my life right now, god,that I wish I can change is not
having to go to an office andbeing able to work from home and
(30:46):
when I was verbally abused.
An hour later when I got to workand I walked out of that office
and they were like begging meback, calling me back, and I was
so close to call going back.
I'm like no, but I was alreadylike having my anxiety attacks,
(31:09):
like crying, like I am just, Iwas just miserable, I was just
miserable.
But then I just think about mykids and rent is due and this is
this, and you got bills and ohmy god, like my shit is not
cheap, like what am I gonna do?
Like I need?
And I was on the phone with mysister and she's like, but
(31:30):
didn't you ask God this morning?
right did you not ask God thismorning that you did not want to
go to an office?
And now he's removing it andyou're gonna be disobedient and
go back?
I said, well, you're right,you're right.
I left.
(31:51):
I stay ten toes down.
I had a meeting yesterday.
The gas lighted me.
I was just like like I was inwhat do you call like an
assimilation?
Speaker 2 (32:02):
yeah, yeah, I'm like, are we?
Speaker 1 (32:07):
just gonna act like my personal space wasn't
violated, that I wasn't treatedlike I was a toddler like I was
in, verbally assaulted andalmost physically assaulted,
like there's several complaintsthat I've submitted of being
spoken to in a condescendingtone, whatever nothing.
(32:28):
No, we're gonna know that so soyou're right, the signs can come
good or bad, but pay attention,mm-hmm.
Pay attention and beintentional.
I saw like offer today.
Thank you, dana Marie beauty.
You can follow her on Instagramall her social medias.
(32:49):
Dana Marie Beauty spelled outhow it sounds exactly DNAH Marie
beauty as always.
Thank you for tuning in, like,subscribe, share, tell somebody
and tell somebody, and I willtalk to you soon.
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