The Pick Me Hoe Is Still In The Picture - And is Doing As She is Told

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Ever been blindsided by the person you trust the most? This episode unfolds my personal story of betrayal and the painful reality of my ex-husband's double life. As I recount my experiences, you’ll hear how I grappled with shock, manipulation, and the two-faced antics of a narcissistic partner. But more than just a harrowing tale, this episode reveals how I've learned to stay calm, disengage, and protect my children. It's a raw insight into my journey, my struggles, and how I'm finding healing in the most complex of circumstances. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Alright, guys, welcome back to this Is Me.
I am Marilyn podcastexclusively.
As you all know, I started thispodcast as a diet diary and a
way for me to just vent and putout my thoughts.
In this particular channel, Ihave dedicated to venting about
the personal issues that havegone and transpired throughout
my marriage, my relationship, mydivorce and what I'm still

(00:23):
dealing with today and on mymain channel.
A few months ago, I think itwas probably like February, I
submitted excuse me, I uploadedan episode, the betrayal of my
husband's best friend, which wasone of the most downloaded
episodes to date.
And now we ask ourselves is thetrifling, disgusting friend or,

(00:52):
excuse me, pick me hoe still inthe picture?
The answer is yes.
And how do I know that when mychildren go over there?
You know I'm giving a littlebit too much right now because I
want to explain what hasoccurred in series, month by

(01:12):
month, year by year.
But you know, my ex husband hasbeen on bended knees when he
found out I had a boyfriend, hasnot known how to do it.
He knows crying, basically atmy ankles, begging.
He'll do anything he has to doto get his family back, just

(01:35):
begging and pleading and justtrying to, you know, swore he
was going to therapy on his own.
Yeah right, he wasn't going totherapy.
What he was doing was readingme, stalking my new life,
observing me.
So he, can he conform to thenew meat to try to fit into my
picture, to say, hey, listen,I've grown, I've supported you

(01:59):
all.
During the meanwhile he wasstill living the same lie and
double life he has always beenliving.
So my ex husband has never beenused to taking care of the kids
on his own.
So when he used to take thekids I was I found it a little
bit shocking.
Like man, you learned how tohandle the kids on your own.
Because, listen me by myself isa lot.

(02:21):
And ladies, we know how the menis.
They only have a few hours inthem.
But I'm not the type tointerrogate my my children will.
Obviously, you know is only thethree year old.
I don't do that.
But I do ask them how was yourday?
How was daycare?
What did you learn?
You know, because it'simportant to keep the kids
memory, muscle memory and stufflike that.

(02:43):
And I don't know this week, theother day, I'm just like hey,
how was your weekend at daddy's?
And he was just like kind ofignore me.
I'm like, well, did you havefun?
Are you okay?
Did something happen?
And he was just like ignoring.
If you know my son, you knowhe's very talkative.
And I said, well, did you play?
He said yes.
I said, well, who did you playwith?

(03:04):
And he was like Nana and daddyand it was like very matter of
fact, open club, open, shut.
It was just like fear or just Idon't know.
I found it just.
I was uncomfortable with hisresponse.
So I said Rome, did somethinghappen?
You know, were you told not totell something to Marilyn?

(03:24):
He's like trying to distract me.
He's like, look, mommy, look atthe TV.
Oh my god, look at Spider-Man.
The first of all, the fact thata three-year-old is trying to
distract me from like, oh my god.
I hope this lady does not askme again because you know like I
don't want to lie to her, but Ialso.
I said Rome, who else did youplay with?
He said her name.

(03:46):
He said fine, fine, and saidthe trash's name and I said,
okay.
I said, but don't lie to mommy.
You know I didn't recommend himfor it because he's three.
I am still healing, I am stilltrying to not allow the

(04:18):
situation to get to me, but youknow, when it comes to your
children, it's a very sensitivetopic.
A narcissist will suck the airout of you.
A narcissist will try to.
They are vampire energies.
They will do whatever it is tostay in your face to use the

(04:38):
kids.
He constantly calls me for thestupidest thing or texts me.
It's how do you handle it?
You do not engage.
If they call you, just simplyreply with the text Is
everything okay or the childrenokay?
When I have my kids, I do notrespond and I instantly was fury

(05:04):
inside One because now you'reteaching my kids it's okay to
lie and lie to mommy or keepthings from mommy, which is
omitting is also considered alie.
He is basically continuing thenarcissistic pattern in the same

(05:27):
household of which he wasraised, same thing his mother
used to do to him.
And second, because this trash,this pick me hoe, is still
around my children.
She will always remain aroundmy children because she is the
one.
She is the supply that feedshis energy, his ego.

(05:47):
She's the supply that is goingto admire him and the moment he
gets rejected from somebody,he's gonna just call her and
she's just gonna be there withher tongue out and her tail
wagging like the pitiful dogthat she is.
So, since I have to remain,tentose down, not engage, I do

(06:17):
it here, I bitch here and itfeels good just getting it out
because he is not worth my time.
But this is my journey.
This is my healing journey.
This is how I cope.
It is a daily and constant thingto try to bring yourself up, to

(06:38):
remind yourself.
You know, when the shit happensto you, you almost want them to
pay, but you quickly learn,like that is when I, when I left
and everything I know by nomeans was like revenge.
I have to get revenge on him.
No, no, no, no.
That is God's job.
I did my part.

(07:00):
Now I have to fall back and letGod do his part, and I know God
is handling him.
Okay, don't think that theperson who hurt you walked away
clean.
They are going to hurt andsuffer 10 times worse than you
did, and it's hard.
It's hard at the heat of the,at the, at the heat of the

(07:21):
moment.
So, just because you know you,you want to take shit into your
own hand.
But we have to be smart aboutthis, we have to be bosses about
this.
We have to be women of classand don't let them see you sweat
, don't let them see you angry,because by doing that it's
giving it's feeding their egoand thinking that they want, and

(07:46):
while you're sitting therepissed and angry, they're just
eaten, chilling watching TV.
So I leave this here, I vent andnow I can go on through my day
because I just have to remindmyself that they will forever
live miserable.
She will forever sit there andbe useless and worthless, like

(08:11):
she is putting herself out thereto be, and I do not feel sorry
for her.
They both need help.
They're both sick.
For you to sit there in my facewhile sleeping with my husband
playing with my kids, that issick.
That is not my job as to whathappens to them in the future.

(08:33):
At this juncture, it's a matterof protecting my children,
making sure that they do not arenot subjected nor become a
victim of a narcissist at thehands of a narcissistic father,
parent who's just using thechildren to control me, to clock
me, to see what I'm doing.
So we are sticking to theschedule, nothing more, nothing

(08:56):
less.
Stay grounded, staying.
You believe they will use yourweakness.
The weakness are the kids.
But remember to remind yourself, to remember the bigger picture
and what their intentions are.
So, all right, that's all I gotfor now.

(09:19):
As always, thank you for tuningin and I will talk to you soon.