December 22, 2023 • 60 mins
Reunions can be emotional, and this episode is no exception. I reignite an old flame of friendship with the phenomenal actress Tracey Bonner, giving you, dear listeners, the privilege to eavesdrop on a heartwarming exchange that uncovers layers of wisdom, resilience, and struggle. The conversation isn't just about catching up, though; it traverses the terrain of self-reflection, mental health in relationships, and the trials and tribulations Tracey has encountered in the glitzy yet gritty world of entertainment.
Buckle in for the final stretch of our conversation as we delve into desires, regrets, and acting dreams. We share personal stories of marriage and motherhood, and Tracey gives her take on these aspects of contemporary womanhood. The pursuit of happiness, not just as a woman in the entertainment industry, but as a person in this complex world, remains a constant theme. So, tune in as we unpack the multifaceted journey of an actress, a woman, and a friend, offering an enlightening exploration of personal growth, mental health, and the intricate dance of life.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hello everyone and welcome to this Is Me podcast,
and I am your girl, marilyn.
I am going to wait for my guestto come in.
She'll be here soon.
It is Friday and I am feelinggood.
I got a new haircut.
(00:23):
Yes, she is giving body.
So, anyways, the guest I amgoing to have is Tracy Bonner.
Now, tracy, I met her almost 10years ago in Atlanta and I
interviewed her many, many yearsago.
So it is just a very specialnight that here we are, all
(00:45):
these years later and I get tointerview her again and she has
grown so much and she has doneso many things since the last
time I've seen her and it isjust basically catching up with
an old friend.
She is just such good energyand I think that those type of
(01:07):
relationships are just good tomaintain and to nourish.
Even though you go years ormonths without speaking to
someone, it is just so good tojust always keep in contact and
just check in with them, becauseyou just never know what it
will just do for you where youare in your life and sometimes
(01:28):
you just need to hear and tap infrom that person.
It is just very nostalgic rightwhen we reminisce and speak to
the people from many, many moonsago.
Yes, so I am super excited.
If you are a sweet Magnolia'sfan, like I am, I literally
(01:50):
binge watch the moment Netflixreleases it and I think she is
coming on soon, guys.
The moment they release it, Iliterally binge watch and I lose
sleep until like 5 in themorning just watching, because
it is just so good and I justlove it.
So don't mind me drinking tea.
(02:13):
I am doing a 30 day no alcohol.
I am heavy on the teas lately,learning about the herbs, the
benefits.
Okay, oh, here she is, tracy.
(02:40):
What's up?
You look good honey.
You got dressed for me.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
You know, I said I am coming on with my boobs.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I am giving yes to the lip honey Thank you?
How are you?
I am okay, I am okay.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I am ready to have conversations, so I have been
looking forward to this sinceyou invited me on here.
What are we going to talk about?
What are we going to be saying?
I am really excited.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
You know what you know.
I have been at this for many,many years, and when I go to
interview someone, I usually Ido have my little book, though
Hold on, I am about to plug inmy journal.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
And I have some questions for you.
But I didn't really need thatmany questions because it is
like catching up with an oldgirlfriend.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
I know right.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Before you got on.
I was just saying how it isjust so crazy, how it is a full
circle moment, because Iinterviewed you almost ten years
ago.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Yeah, when I first moved to Atlanta.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, Did you first move there?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Yeah, it was about a year after I moved here, but
yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Look at you now, baby .
Look at you.
Look at us.
Okay, look at us.
Oh, my God, I just got chills.
So tell me, we met in Atlanta.
Yeah, you came at the time.
My show was called the Brunch,yes, and I interviewed for Date
Yourself, girl.
I do want to recap what ishappening.
(04:21):
Fill us in.
Are we still dating ourself,girl?
Because I have an answer tothat.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Well, actually yes and no.
Here's the thing I neverstopped dating.
I never stopped dating.
I think what peoplemisunderstood about the title
was that I was bashing men andtelling me and you telling women
, you don't need a man.
And I'm like no, I want peopleto understand I would get so
(04:51):
engrossed in my relationshipsthat I would lose all of myself,
and so that's why I was likeafter my last relationship back
in 2013, I was just like who areyou without this man in your
life, without any man in yourlife?
Do you know what you like?
(05:12):
Do you know what you're willingto put up with?
Do you know some of the thingsthat you need to change?
Do you need counseling?
Like all of those things and Ijust A self reflection, yeah,
and I was like I don't know ifI'm really.
I say I'm ready for arelationship, but I don't know
if I'm ready because I haven'tdone any of the work, heal the
(05:35):
traumas that I had.
Here's the thing I was incollege.
I was in a four and a half yearrelationship with the same guy,
and two and a half of thoseyears he was physically and
emotionally abusive, and I knowa lot of people.
A lot of people talk aboutphysical abuse, but my physical
abuse was when I had surgery.
(05:55):
He kicked me in my surgicalscar.
Wow, he was a mean methodical.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Militia.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
And he would strangle me or smother me.
He dragged me outside, coveredmy head with my sweater and he
threw the luggage on top of me.
You know, because I would spendthe night.
He dragged me outside, my shirtripped off, in front of my
dad's frat brother.
He saw that.
You know that's the kind ofphysical abuse.
(06:25):
He body slammed me so hard thatI suffered a fractured spine
and didn't realize it at thetime that that's what was wrong.
I would sit on my right sidebecause I was just in so much
pain and finally went to adoctor and he was like have you
been?
Speaker 1 (06:44):
in an accident.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
I was like no.
And then, when I reflected, Isaid, oh well, my ex boyfriend
body slammed me and he was likehow long ago was that?
That was 20.
Oh, I can't even say 20.
It was like 2000, 2001.
So I was 20, 21 years old, youknow, and thinking you're in
(07:11):
love.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Yeah.
It was because he wants me andhis way of affection.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Yeah, and you know I grew up in a small town in
Tennessee and we gonna be realtonight.
I don't think I've reallydiscussed.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Listen, it's me and you tonight.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Got it.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Well, I grew up with a poor image of myself.
There weren't a lot of darkerskinned black women, black girls
who were deemed pretty, or youknow.
A lot of times the lighterskinned girls would get most of
the attention from the guys,right?
(07:54):
So I would struggle with howcan I get some attention?
You know, and just as ateenager, sex was something that
was new.
You know I'm like what is thisthing?
Is this how I have to get youknow their attention?
Speaker 1 (08:14):
We didn't have a way to learn back then, right?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
We didn't have social media.
We didn't.
We didn't have social media,and I grew up in the south and
our mothers were not reallytalking to us about sex.
What they would say is don'thave it.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Right, that's it.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yeah, and so I think, as a young teenager, I just was
looking for validation.
I wanted someone to love me,someone to like me, and I went
about it the wrong way and I metthis guy at college and was
like oh, I got a boyfriend, heplays football and he's
(08:53):
attractive and he wants me, buthe beat me down, you know,
mentally and physically.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
And did that pattern continue like once you left him?
Did you find yourself going andjumping into another
relationship, suffering the samething?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Not the physical abuse so much, but I think what
I did was I allowed patterns ofemotional abuse to continue.
I would allow men to manipulateme or gas like me or just treat
me in the old kind of way, andI would just stick around
(09:29):
because I'm like, well, nobodywants me, nobody will want me,
this is all I have, this is allI have to choose from.
So that's where I am, like.
I'm still trying to figure outdating.
I live in Atlanta.
It is not a place and, as you,as I've gotten older, it's like
(09:55):
you know men, my age, I'm not aperson.
My age are either married ordating younger, and so the older
guys.
I'm not necessarily attractedto an older man, not to say that
I won't date them, but they'rea lot of the time stuck in their
(10:15):
way, they're not veryspontaneous or they're not risk
takers and I'm just like I justwant to take it back for a
second Because you know, this issomething that I've suffered
with as well.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
You know, I'm newly divorced and I waited a long
time before I got with someoneright by choice, and I thought,
because I thought I was doingthe work.
So when you say date yourselfand I didn't even begin to do
the work, or I started the workor I did the work, but then you
(10:52):
fall right back into thesituation so you really didn't
do shit right.
So it's what for?
I can share what I've beendoing as far as self caring and
the work, because it gets to acertain point that will blame
the men and will blame the men.
But if you're falling back intothe same pattern at some point,
we're going to have to blameourselves.
(11:14):
Yes, so why are we traumabonding?
Why are we attracted?
Why do we continue to attractthis type?
What is it?
Why are we so open and honestand loving to the wrong person,
and how are we able to identifythe right person?
Speaker 2 (11:32):
That's that's deep.
So I think for me counselinghas helped me kind of figure
those things out.
Why am I trauma bonding withsomeone?
Why am I trying to be a fixer,or why do I want so much A
nurturer?
You know, I want to show thisman the fixer part.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
The fixer part because I am a victim of that.
Why do I want to be a fixer?
The self reflection is becauseI'm afraid to fix myself.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Oh, that's good, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
I'm the fear of what if I was to fix myself and how
far would I get once I get there.
I cross that threshold.
What is the fear.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
What do you mean?
You are afraid to fix yourself.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
No, it's like it's a sense of finding purpose when
you're still lost and don't knowwho you are.
Yeah Right, so at least let mefind some sort of purpose.
I mean, this was me before.
I'm not saying that's not asense.
Let me find a purpose of tryingto fix someone, to kind of feel
good instead of fixing myself,so I can self feel good.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Wow, I never looked at it that way.
It's not that I want to fixsomebody.
I've always felt like I wantedto be a supporter.
You know, oftentimes the menthat I date, predominantly black
men, say that you know theyhaven't had a woman who has had
(13:11):
their back or has supported them, or their life just shows
struggle, right, right.
I don't want to be that forthem.
I want to be someone whouplifts you, who empowers you.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Where you lose yourself.
Yeah, yeah, the energy is notreciprocated.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
It's not.
So my thing is now recognizingwhen it's not reciprocal love or
like ending it early, notstaying around.
I just recently stopped seeingsomeone because, you know, I
(13:53):
just told them I just we don'talign and I don't want to lead.
You want any further?
I don't want this to go anyfurther than like we cool, you
don't even have to call andcheck on me, Right?
That's art I started to noticethe signs early and I'm like I'm
(14:14):
just connecting now, so yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
So what are some of the things that you have been
doing for yourself, forself-caring?
Cause?
Listen, it's a lot of work.
I just did a podcast on thisit's going to drop Monday about
doing the work, about theself-caring and being
intentional, and it's somethingand I'm realizing it because I
(14:40):
started earlier mid-year withreally being intentional on the
work.
Now, right, because youidentify the problem and then
you do the work.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
And it's exhausting.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Yeah, I'll tell you where I it's ongoing work, but
I'll tell you where I still needthe most work, and it's my
mental health.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Yes, but that's the work.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
The mental health is the work, the mental health is
the hardest part for me, and Ithink what I mean by that is my
mindset.
I can sometimes be a pessimistwhen it comes to thinking about
love and loving relationships.
(15:31):
Do I believe in them for otherpeople?
Absolutely.
I think it can happen forsomeone else, but when it comes
to me, I'm like no.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Is that a generational mindset for you?
Speaker 2 (15:47):
No, explain.
What do you mean bygenerational mindset?
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Have you.
Is this something that you grewup with not knowing what love
is or seeing what love is?
Speaker 2 (15:58):
No, no, my grandmother, my mother's parents
, were to me the epitome of aloving relationship.
Oh, you hear me?
Yeah, okay, they were theepitome of a loving relationship
.
My grandfather doded on mygrandmother, gave her
(16:19):
compliments, took her out it wasvery romantic and we really
have a lot of money and he wasable to woo her, woo her right
and he was able to make plansuntil his death and it just they
would hold hands and the littlething, yeah, and make plans and
(16:40):
I he would say I love you andhe would kiss her and you know,
showing affection.
And I never.
I lived with them until I was14.
I think I saw them argue once,out of that entire time of me
living with them, like they madeit, made living in that house
easy and I was able to makeplans for one another.
(17:01):
I've always desired that and Ihad a very close relationship to
my grandfather.
Up until his death and I watched.
My parents are married butthere are some things that I
recognize in their marriage thatI'm like I would not put up
with that.
I don't care, I would not putup with that.
(17:21):
And I think it's because I'molder now.
I've gone through a lot, so Irecognize what is toxic to me.
I wouldn't be able to put upwith that, like the older
generation of of our parents youknow, Are you afraid to open
yourself up?
No, I'm not afraid, I'm always.
(17:43):
I'm always.
Look, I date a lot.
Okay, I, I like dating, I likethe newness of the relationships
I love the newness.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Okay, I can get the newness.
All you know the whole timeyeah.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
That butter, butterfly feeling that you feel,
but I'm not afraid of alsoworking inside of the
relationship either.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Um, it has to be both ways?
Hmm, it has to be both ways.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
And I was going to say I'm finding that though you
know, after that third or fourthmonth is like they don't want
to, they don't want to, theydon't want to, they don't want
to, they don't want to.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
They are very comfortable, honey, so yeah,
they're very comfortable.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Yeah, I mean so, but I date.
I'm not afraid to open myselfup.
But when I do begin to bemyself, I start to see me and be
distant and I'm like, well, isit something about me?
Like I'm real, I'll go to mytherapist and say okay, I've
noticed a pattern change.
She's not calling as much,she's not texting back.
(18:49):
You know he's not doing thesethings, so I'm falling back too,
because I don't want to.
You're matching energy.
Yeah, this dating stuff is hard.
It's hard.
It's 2023.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
It's ghetto.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
It is I'm ghetto.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
I'm over it.
But listen, I'm happy that youdid the work and that you came
out of your trauma, baby,because it made you stronger.
Okay, so enough of that, I'llbe self.
We know dating in 2023 for usolder women, although we look
like we're in our twentiesreceiving that girl.
Um, I, too, am dating myselfand I absolutely love it, so I
(19:29):
love that you started thatmovement and made it okay.
And I'll have you know that whenI looked at an alien, I dated
myself a lot, yeah, and Ihaven't really done it since.
I've been back in New York butearly month I'm like I'm going
to start, I'm going to start,I'm going to an event by myself
this weekend.
It's a red carpet, I'm going toget suited and booted because
(19:51):
I'm going to.
I'm like you know what?
Look, I don't want to date, Idon't want to date, I'm good,
but I want to jump into.
When I met you, I interviewedyou and we hit it off right away
Because you are a light, youare beautiful, your energy is
contagious, and you invited meto a play and first introduction
(20:16):
that I had to Tracy Bono, theactress not to date yourself,
you know, but the actress and itwas just phenomenal to see.
And nothing, nothing doing.
The play is very hard.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
It is.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Because like doing the show is like cut, replay,
cut.
You know, doing a play is allyou got to know your lines.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
I'm going through that now.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Yes, so tell me, many years ago you were in a play.
Now you are on TV girl.
You are on brazing Diane, blacklightning, where you and I
remember I was in the movietheater and I don't know if it
was with Josh Dumal, I think.
Did you do a movie with him?
Speaker 2 (21:06):
No.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
I think you played a nurse.
It was a big actor like that.
I think you played a nurse.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Oh, I know who you're talking about.
It was a movie right LongestRide, Was that it?
Speaker 1 (21:16):
I think was it, I don't know.
I'm like, is that Tracy?
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
I played a couple of nurses so loud in the movie I'm
like that's Tracy, I'm like, ohmy God, look, I'm tearing up.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
It was such like a proud moment to see myself.
I'm like, oh my God, I'm like,oh my God.
I'm like, oh my God, I'm like,oh my God.
I'm like, oh my God, I'm like,oh my God.
It was just like a proud momentto see my friend on the big
screen.
So tell me some of thechallenges.
What do you got, especially,you know, coming from Tennessee
to Atlanta.
Did you move to Atlanta fromTennessee to pursue acting?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
No, I'm originally from Decatur.
My parents moved when I waseight, officially moved when I
was eight.
I grew up in Tennessee, went tocollege in Tennessee, then I
went to grad school in Chicagoand that was my introduction to
professional acting andprofessional theater.
(22:11):
And so I lived there for 12years, kind of hit the glass
ceiling, was doing voiceover butnot a lot of TV and film
opportunities and I quit.
I quit and I was like why don'tyou come?
Because he retired from CedarGrove High School in Ellenwood.
And he said why don't you come?
I'm moving back to Tennesseewith your mom and you know why
(22:35):
don't you come out here?
You have, I did a couple playshere in the past and he was like
, why don't you just try it out?
I was like, whatever, I'mquitting, I'm going to be a
teacher.
And yeah, I auditioned for acouple plays and then I did,
started doing TV and I startedliking it and started doing it
(22:55):
more and yeah, that's how Iended up really turning my
sights towards TV.
Now I'm back doing theater.
I'm actually about to do a playin Arizona until March.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
So when Broadway comes, I'm going to be Frank
Rowe.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Oh, you're too kind.
I can't sing.
So Broadway doesn't?
They don't do a lot of straightplays.
You better fake it.
So you make it girl.
I wish I could have seen.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Oh, you're going to hold a little tune.
You got to get you some voicelessons.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Oh, no, no, no, I know my language.
You know your limits.
I just want to see MJ, themusical Someone asked what
school did you attend for acting?
Oh, I went to the theaterschool at DePaul University in
Chicago it's formerly known asthe Goodman School of Drama and
(23:54):
that's where I got my MFA inacting.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Ok, Check it out.
Check it out, charel Stewart.
Thank you for tuning in.
Oh girl Tracy, I'm going topull out my little book here.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
You are hilarious.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
You can purchase it now on Amazon.
Yeah, no, I know we spoke onthe phone a couple of weeks ago.
I just want to give you yourflowers because you were too
busy giving me my flowers andwith you, or just thank you.
You deserve it.
Thank you, I know it hasn'tbeen easy for you, I know it has
(24:33):
been a challenge and, honestlyand truly, I am so proud of you.
And when I tell you, I literallyteared up when I saw you in the
theater.
It was, you know, because it'slike you're seeing the evolution
.
You know what I mean.
And don't let anyone ever tellyou different and don't let
anyone ever dim your light.
(24:54):
And too bad.
You ask can't sing because Iwas hoping for Broadway.
I can't.
I tried, no, but I'll takeNetflix because it's a Netflix
thing, but we're going to getthere.
Yes, ok, did you find?
So?
You said you found challengesgrowing up.
You know as a black girl andthe light skinned girls got more
attention.
(25:14):
Did you find the challengingfor you also in this, although
you're in the black mecca?
Right, did you find somechallenges being a black woman
in this industry and I've heardthis from other actors and
actresses but have you everexperienced not getting a part
or kind of being looked overover someone else because you
(25:36):
know you're a black woman.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
Not necessarily because I'm a black woman, but I
don't look a certain way Likelet me just keep it 100.
You know, this industry isabout appearance, how you look,
and I just don't have a lot ofEuropean, you know, features and
(26:01):
there's just not a lot of spacefor women like me.
They will give opportunities tomaybe five of us and that's it.
So I don't necessarily feellike it was because I'm black.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Black, the art world's written rather.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Yeah, I'm a certain kind of I'm a sister.
I'm just gonna be I'm a sister.
When I walk in a room, it'sreally like they all stereotype
me very quickly.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Did that.
Because of that did you everfeel discouraged?
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Oh yeah, yeah, I told you, I quit before I moved
there.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Did you quit again when you got there?
Speaker 2 (26:47):
I quit for three years.
I mean, I did theater.
I would do a play here, likethe play that you saw, and a
play there, but no, I haven'treally quit.
I think what has happened is mycareer shifted and my purpose
has shifted.
I find joy in mentorship.
I like to mentor new artistsbecause we didn't have them when
(27:14):
we graduated school.
They just put us out there andwas like okay, bye With the
girls right, figure it out.
And nobody really taught us thebusiness of being an actor.
So I enjoy mentorship.
I enjoy teaching, particularly.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
I noticed you started coaching.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Yes, I have a self-taque business, okay, and
I'll coach within the session,right?
The other coaching reallyrequires a lot of me, so I have
to pick and choose those moments.
But I also teach.
You know, I teach theself-taque class and I found-.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
I'd love to be your student.
You should come.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
That class must be so fun because a lot of my
students are based in Chicago,new York and LA.
Wow, that's good to be, yeah,but that's where I'm looking to
turn my focus, because we'remultifaceted.
If you're an artist, you'remultifaceted.
(28:19):
You should be.
You shouldn't just depend onthat one thing Because, as you
know, as an actor, I haven'tbooked anything since February
2022.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Well, the strike was happening, right.
Well, february 2022.
Oh, last year, okay.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
So I did a play starting December of last year
and it took me out of thecasting pool and then when I got
back a couple of months later,the strike happened.
So it's been kind of difficultto navigate.
But I'm going to be honest withyou.
(29:03):
I wasn't one of those actorswho was dying to get back to
work.
I knew there was a lot ofself-work and self-care.
I needed to do that.
I was not doing for myself,because I was really overly
focused on my career and I thinksometimes when you're so tunnel
(29:24):
vision, you'll forget to takecare of yourself, you forget
about your health period, you'llforget about pouring into
yourself and doing those thingsthat make you happy, bring you
joy.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
This self-care is so important in the aspects of your
life and sometimes what I wasfinding that I was doing is I
was just busy, busy, busy.
But then I'm like am I beingproductive?
Speaker 2 (29:51):
So that's where I was like I need this break because
I was doing so much for so manypeople that I forgot about me.
So I was trying during thestrike.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
People suffer from that strike.
They did, they did.
I know some directors andproducers from Atlanta you know
as my second home, so I know alot of people who were
struggling.
Yeah, but you know I'm notgoing to say that I didn't
struggle, but what I want toknow you can say you're blessed
(30:25):
and highly favored and God gotyou and he will handle all the
problems.
This is what?
Speaker 2 (30:31):
but this is what I want artists to remember is that
, remember, before you weremaking money, we were out here
grinding, we were out herehustling.
That can't, that can't never,we can't never get that
comfortable, right?
So we feel like we can't havesomething in our back pocket,
and I think that's what helpedme was that, you know, I was
(30:56):
doing some other things.
I was teaching, I was mentoring, I was doing, you know.
So I didn't really feel it likea lot of people who were just
solely depending on the acting,which is, you know, if you can
solely depend on acting, that'samazing, right?
What I'm saying is rememberthat thing, that that grind,
(31:17):
that hustle we had, you know,before we were just Tracy
focused.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
You know my ADD.
I go all over the place.
I want to see you on the TylerPerry.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
I've been on Tyler Perry before, which one I was on
have and have Nots.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
I was on.
Oh, you see, I didn't get intohave and have Nots.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
I was on two episodes and Tyler Perry amazing.
The studio is amazing.
I think their process moves alittle quickly for me for my
style of acting.
I mean a lot of actors havephotographic memories.
I don't.
I like the.
(31:58):
I love theater because I can goover these lines over and over.
I could do this play over andover.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
Yeah, I was watching Maxine's Baby.
Did you watch that documentary?
I haven't seen it yet.
No, oh, good yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
I mean, my friends are on Tyler Perry and I look at
them and I'm like y'all aredifferent set of kind of actors.
Y'all can do 80 pages a day.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Yeah, we may know you , we might just do seven pages,
so let's shift over, becausethat was a good segue to see
Maxine's Baby Love, love, lovethe show.
Tell me how you landed that.
What's been the process?
I?
Speaker 2 (32:40):
want to know everything.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
Tell me the backstory , tell me the gossip.
It's so funny.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
I got this audition to play a Lutheran pastor and I
was like I'm not going to getthis.
I literally just set the linesin a monologue and I can't see
the comments too.
Yes, I can oh, I'm, will addressthat in a minute.
But I did the thing.
(33:05):
I played her like a realBaptist pastor because I was
like I don't Google Lutheran andI was like I don't know what
that is Right.
And I was like I'm, just be meRight.
And so I had a client come inand do the same audition and I
was like, dang, and you're notthe teacher, you wowed me.
You were amazing.
I said let me show you myaudition.
(33:30):
And we laughed, we laughed atit and then, when I booked it, I
called her.
I said, girl, you're not goingto believe me, you are not going
to believe that I booked thatpastor and after that it just I
love her.
I mimic, not mimic, but I drawfrom my mom.
My mom is pastor, pastorgeneral.
(33:51):
She is very kind and wise andjust tells you like it is, and
so I mean that's how I got it.
Really it was a self-tape.
She's the fixer.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
My mama yeah.
She's the fixer, becauseeveryone goes to pastor, pastor,
June.
Whenever everyone's goingthrough something, who do they
go?
And I'll tell you one thingthat I love most about, because
you know what type of show isthat considered Like it's
(34:25):
episodic drama.
I guess you would right, youknow someone say like it's a
little cheesy and stuff likethat, and you know, I don't know
why.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
Well it's, I call it down home wholesome.
Yes, you know, and if that'scheesy, then I'll take that any
day, because I love it becausethe message is yeah.
Yeah, I think we are bombardednow with a lot of negative
content and a lot of I cannot.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
I like rom-coms, I like happy stuff, like you know
some of those reality, you knowI just love some of my
housewives, you know.
You know, with the other stuffit's just like I can't.
I like feel good stuff, yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
There we go and it is a feel good show.
It's down home community.
You know these people.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Yeah, it's community, the community part.
And you know, being from NewYork and obviously I lived in
Atlanta for a few years and nowliving in and then living in
Atlanta and being able tocompare the two, I was exposed
to so many new things living inthe South and living, you know,
up here.
And it's just and I thinkthat's why I love the show so
(35:42):
much because it's like inAtlanta people have dinner
parties right, like Sundays,they're doing stuff by the pool
and I'm like what is this stuff?
Or a high school football game.
People are tailgating.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
No, that's something that I've never experienced
before.
So going down to the South, I'mlike damn, I'm actually slowing
down and just enjoying themoment.
So just the show beingreflective of sisterhood
friendship.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
They are for one another, what it means to be
there for one another, thatyou're going to get into some
shit but you're going to make upand be there for each other at
the end and you know how muchchurch and God and prayer is
involved.
It's good.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
I love it.
I love doing the show.
I love my castmates.
I know that's cliche, but Ireally do enjoy it.
Like I look forward to going onthat set.
And sometimes that could berare, you know, sometimes work
can just be work, but they arereally family.
Yeah, it wasn't just work forus.
It was actually, like, like yousaid, going to see my friend.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
Brooke is my friend.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
That's my homegirl.
Like Joe, I can call Joe andsay hey, joe, can you come pop
up at a class for me?
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Wait, hold on who's Brooke?
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Oh, brooke is Dana, sue, brian, the favorite oh.
I love she is me in real life,Like we connected on a real
level, like do I know you?
Like did you, did you date thatguy, that same guy, Like we
really everything about her is.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
I love her character so much.
I love when she was in herphase of, you know, stella
getting her groove back.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Yes, no with a farmer , I love it.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Okay, so Dana Sue is Brooke.
Oh, so who's Joe?
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Joe is the lead.
I'm sorry, my dog is isbothering me.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Well, you want to be in this.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Oh my goodness, so cute, he's a baby Boy.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, bourbon,he's a baby.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Bourbon Say hey, my babies are not here.
That's why the house is quietCause, or else this would not be
, happening right now.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
I'm sorry, no, I love it, he's part of it now, oh,
joe is the main character.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
Is that the the baseball player coach?
Speaker 2 (38:11):
Yes, yes, cal, why can't I find me one of those?
Yeah, I mean, it's going tohappen, though.
See, that's the thing I when Iwas talking about mindset like
we.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
Thank you, you know mindset yes, he is a cutie,
cheryl.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
To cutie no stopper Show stiller.
I just really think it couldhappen for us.
I think my issue is, like Isaid, mindset.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
No, it's the mindset.
I've got to work on my mindset.
You got to work on the mindset.
You got to be prepared for itand you know you got to write it
down.
But for me, I want to be athousand percent Me.
Yeah, I don't ever lose myselfagain.
You feel like you lost yourselfand I'm like, oh, my gosh.
(39:05):
And my marriage.
My girlfriend's like who areyou Where'd?
Speaker 2 (39:08):
you go, and even, what do you mean?
Cause I know what I mean when Isay I lost myself.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
But like I stopped Myarlin, this, my radio, my
entrepreneurship, I just fellinto that submissive role, right
, because I thought that that'swhat you do as a wife.
That's just, I didn't know, youknow, and I lost her you know,
(39:36):
I didn't know where she went andthat's being the life.
I didn't have life within meanymore.
Wow, now it's like I'm growing.
You know I love talking to you,I love doing my podcast, I love
networking.
You know all the things I usedto do out there and I Helped
(39:58):
being talking to people.
That's just me, at my core, andI just completely stopped
everything that defined me.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
Well, that's crazy because when I would see you,
you know and I don't know ifit's social media that does this
to us, that gives us this falsesense of whatever, but when I
would see you, you were workingout and you know, raising your
babies and you know it.
Just it appeared that you hadeverything you know and I Would
(40:29):
be lying if I I wasn't, if Ididn't say that I was looking at
your life, saying damn why Iwant that, you know, why can't I
have that?
Speaker 1 (40:38):
but not, you know um.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
Oh, do I need my tissues too.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
No, no, no, we're gonna get it under control.
You know, I think that you wantthings to work out so bad, and
when I met my husband, it wasgreat, it was great and then it
was bad, and then it was greatand then it was bad.
(41:12):
But then it's denial, right,because you hear these stories
like not everything is perfect,things will work out, or it's
just a hump, and stuff like that.
You know, so it's it was great.
Because I'm like oh my god,someone asked me to marry them.
(41:33):
Oh my god, I'm.
I'm finally gonna Raisechildren with someone, right?
I'm not gonna be a singlemother again, you know.
So it's Creating the.
Oh my god, I never had this.
It's here, but at what cost.
You know what I mean.
So when I finally started beingwoke and I started my podcast
(42:00):
almost like a diadairy, becauseI needed a way to vent you know,
this is why I started that thisis me podcast, because I'm like
it's not feeling the way it'slooking hmm, oh Wow you know,
and that's huge and you do lookat social media and you do see
(42:21):
I'm like, oh man, yeah, I thinkI have that and you know.
But then I'm like but why don'tI feel the way that it looks?
And Again, once I started beingwoke and wait a minute, I don't
give a fuck how what looks, I,I care about how I feel.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
Mmm.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
And I was just venting on my podcast and
venting, and venting and it wasmy idea diary until I Realized
that I didn't care how it looked, I wanted to feel, I Wanted to
feel me, I wanted to see meagain.
Speaker 2 (42:56):
So huge.
You know, I'm doing this playcalled intimate apparel and and
Esther.
This is 35 year old woman, I'mmuch older than her, but she's
never been with the man.
But that's something that shedesires in 1905.
And she has a line in this playwhere she says, 35, mamey, and
(43:20):
he wants to marry me, yeah.
And then she says, and I ain'tgot no more opportunities, I'm
afraid.
Or, and there ain't gonna be nomore opportunities, I'm afraid.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
So I've told him, yes , it's like, oh Wow because you,
you feel like you set yourselfthis timeline.
I'm like I was single for solong and here, you know, is I'm
like I'm ready, I don't want togo out there, I want it.
You know they meet.
But then it's like once yourealize, like what the fuck?
Where am I rushing to?
Yeah, so for you to see me andlike, and I kind of want that.
(43:56):
That's why I was so transparentabout Putting the downfall and
the demise.
You know, obviously he's wasn'ttoo happy and still not too
happy about it.
But I always say, if you don'twant, if you're embarrassed by
what you done, maybe you shouldhave never done your actions.
Because I am a very transparentperson.
You've always known me to bethat.
I am a very open book and I'mnot afraid to share my goals
(44:21):
because of social media.
Yeah Well, I have a wedding.
The marriage didn't work out.
You know I was sleeping on thecouch with my kids and you know,
look at me now and it's, it's astory.
Like we all go through it.
So if you are posting andthinking that you know Gucci
here and vacation here andyou're getting your ass beat,
(44:44):
yeah, I feel sorry for you.
Speaker 2 (44:47):
That's huge listen.
Let me tell you something.
I, on the eye, have alwayswanted to be a mother.
I Always wanted to be married,though I always wanted to be a
wife and a mom, and Now, as a 44year old woman, I am undergoing
the process of freezing my eggsand it's I'm really late in the
(45:08):
process.
They really start stop at 42,right.
But they said they'll go up to46 Mm-hmm.
Because I chased my career andI'm finding a lot of women in my
craft Chase their careersbecause we have we feel like we
have such a short window, right,because we feel like this is a
(45:30):
young woman's game, and so we'relike, oh, I got to pursue my
career, I got a hit, I got a,you know, and that's what
happened to me.
I was chasing my career and Ioverlooked some, a couple guys,
you know, that could have been.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
But I hope you don't regret that I.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
Don't regret it, but I, I do regret not being a mom
and a wife.
I do.
I Just said I.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
That was a contradictory listen, I Do, I
think.
A lady in Uganda, linda Crazy,you are 44, looking like you're
going on 24 and crazy.
Trust me, as a mother of fourkids, four boys, oh boy, yeah, I
(46:17):
don't know what you feel, soI'm not gonna tell you, don't?
You know?
I don't know what you feel.
But it could have gone theother way right, like, yeah, I
could be saying about you, man,I wish I would have chased my
radio career.
You know, back then up in NewYork, it was Wendy Williams, you
know, an anti-marginal, and ifI would have stood at it when I
(46:38):
started it almost 10 years agomore over 10 years ago I
probably would have been there.
But I was at basketball gamesand coaching and, you know, had
to work a full time to maintain,you know they mean.
So I feel like it's potato,potato.
Speaker 2 (46:56):
I feel like right now , though, like I really do.
I'm like why do we have toforce sake this thing To pursue
what we want?
You know, why can't we haveboth?
Speaker 1 (47:09):
And I, I'm trying, I'm tired.
Speaker 2 (47:14):
Girl.
Speaker 1 (47:19):
But I feel like us women, we can.
Strong women, we can have itall.
You know it's gonna take time,it's going to be a journey, but
just know that your path is yourpath and you know now you're
ready the self-care and you hadto go through those
relationships.
You know to realize like, waita minute, I am beautiful,
anybody can want me.
(47:39):
It's a matter who I choose, whoI choose, not who chooses me
right.
So don't worry, you'll be theperfect mother.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
I'm gonna pray.
That's all I can do.
No, I'm serious.
Like I had a breakdown intherapy on Tuesday.
I was like I Missed the boat.
I waited too late.
It's too late for me.
I live in Atlanta.
It is so hard it is.
(48:10):
Let me tell you something theyounger guys.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
But you just said you have to be open to it and
you're not open to what day?
Speaker 2 (48:17):
Yeah, here's the thing I'm dating, but the
younger guys are Attracted to me, but they don't want to settle
down With me because I'm olderand the older guys won't.
Younger women I am just really.
I'm here, I'm in a weird range.
(48:39):
It's that weird space.
So that's why I May feel like,or it may seem like I'm not open
, but I am.
I want To share my life withsomebody.
I don't want to be in thishouse by myself.
I fell out of my closet one dayand almost hit my head and I
just sat there and I boo-hoo Crybecause I was like by myself.
(49:02):
I could have been in here, hitmy head and then some you know,
nobody's gonna know for threedays I think, oh, we haven't
heard from Tracy, because let'scheck on her.
I could be dead in that closet.
So, trust me, I think aboutLike being alone a lot and I
don't think people really whenthey view Relationships, when
(49:25):
they look at them, they don'tlook at them in totality.
I think we look at relationshipoh he fine.
Oh, he got money.
Oh, he could take look at hisjob title, he could take care of
me.
But I don't think we reallylook at the soul of a person.
We don't.
How, how, what's theirrelationship like with their
parents?
(49:45):
How do they treat their friends?
How do they view money?
You know our, our, ourreligious beliefs aligning with
one another.
Do we want to parent the sameway?
Do you want kids like?
We don't look at that kind ofstuff.
Speaker 1 (50:00):
No, we do our age does the younger's?
You know the younger's, theelders.
We look at that stuff with theyounger's and I always say you
can really get to know someonewhen they're around their
closest friends.
Yeah, cuz they're like in theirtrue comfort zone.
Now they're letting their hairdown.
Yeah, I'm on the same boat, butI don't want to be.
(50:22):
I'm good Really.
Yeah, it's got them, it's got.
Oh, all right, I have a couplemore questions, you know, thank
you.
Thank you for switching up thetime.
You know I have my son's game,see multitask.
Go to my son's basketball game.
Okay, what's next?
(50:42):
What's next for Tracy Bonner?
Where do you see yourself?
Speaker 2 (50:49):
in Arizona doing this play.
Speaker 1 (50:52):
Oh, who is one like big actor?
What type of movie would youlike to do and what actor or
actress would you like to workwith one day?
Speaker 2 (51:03):
I don't have the kind of movie, but I can tell you,
the actor that I really wouldlove to work with is Mahershala
Ali he is so nuanced.
Speaker 1 (51:11):
Oh, he's good, he's so good.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
I watched this movie called Swan Song and there's a
scene in it where he meets hiswife on this train.
It's the scene where they firstmet and they didn't say a word
but, like they spoke so much Forlike two or three minutes and I
was like, what did I justwitness?
(51:34):
So I would love to be on a setwith someone who's that nuanced
and grounded and fine.
Fine, he's amazing, but he justembodies everything I feel like
an actor should have.
Yes, when you watch him acting,he's not acting, he is honest
(51:59):
and real and true.
Speaker 1 (52:01):
I don't know he definitely embodies the every
character that he plays for sure, and he is underlooked, I think
.
Speaker 2 (52:09):
Really he got two Oscars.
Speaker 1 (52:12):
Is it?
Yeah, oh well, I just feel likein the public eye he's
overlooked.
Speaker 2 (52:18):
I think that's good though, yeah, you know.
Oh, I forget the man's name.
Anyway, I feel like when youcan just go do the work and then
go Go home, You're right and beout the blogs and out the news
that's I know.
Speaker 1 (52:36):
look at the other one .
Speaker 2 (52:38):
I'm like yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:39):
I was rooting for you .
Speaker 2 (52:41):
Jonathan Mac.
Speaker 1 (52:42):
Jonathan Mac yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:44):
Yeah.
At the height, at the heightWell yeah, at the height, but
this is I don't think it's theend form People are saying it's
not the end, it's the career'sover, but I really think he will
take a couple years.
It's gonna take a couple years.
(53:05):
Stay out of the limelight, Isay, keep your head down,
focused And-.
Speaker 1 (53:13):
I wanna wrap this up, but now that we're talking
about him funny about we weretalking about the trauma bonding
.
Oh yeah, so Megan is hand inhand with him.
Speaker 2 (53:25):
Well, you know, I don't know how real their
relationship is.
It kind of seems out of theblue for me.
Again, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (53:33):
After she just divorced.
And right, we don't know, wedon't know her business, we
don't.
But from what we do know, fromwhat we see here, she has
married a pastor.
Right, yeah, they divorced Notsaying that all the pastors are
good and, you know, holier thannow and all that stuff and now
(53:53):
she is like hands in hand, afterthis new divorce, with this man
who's facing all theseallegations Now, do you think
she's healed?
Do you think she's traumabonding?
Do you think, like now, is hefeeding her that?
I love you, thank you for beinghere for me, but he's giving
(54:15):
her whatever hole she wasmissing.
Speaker 2 (54:20):
You know, I don't know if she's trauma bonding
Again.
I don't even know if this is areal relationship.
They could just honestly befriends and people have said
that they're in a relationshipand they're just going with it.
I don't know.
I do recall seeing someinterviews where she spoke about
(54:42):
her marriage and howdisappointed she was that it did
end and it didn't end becauseshe wanted it to end.
So you know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (54:55):
Look, this is why dating is so scary.
A pastor cannot make it workand you are led by God.
Your covenant is protected byyou know.
Speaker 2 (55:08):
I got my own reason.
I got my own thoughts about whyI think that relationship
didn't work, why I honestlythink he struggled with her
being not so much in thelimelight.
But she is a sex symbol, she isgorgeous, she's boom, bang,
(55:36):
boom and I think that may for apastor, that image for him may
have kind of weighed on him,even though we've seen he's a
bullshit he took up for her, hetook up for her, I know, but I
think you think you can put upwith something or you can accept
something about someone, and Imean they were together 19 years
(55:59):
.
Speaker 1 (56:00):
So that's a long time .
Oh damn, I didn't know theywere together that long.
Oh, they were together for awhile he probably thought she
would like eventually tone itdown Real quick.
We can talk for hours.
I'm gonna say real quick, 30minutes from now, but Sony and
Key, sony, o'neill and Keyronwhat's his name?
Speaker 2 (56:24):
I know I follow him.
Speaker 1 (56:26):
You can just you know with that Keyon Keyon, Pastor
Keyon, pastor Keyon.
What do you think about that?
You know?
Speaker 2 (56:37):
I want it to work.
Let me tell you I do.
I struggle with her being onbasketball wives and what it
represents, the kind of behaviorit represents.
And then, yeah, keyon Henderson, the way they behave, I'm like,
is this going to cause frictionbetween, because she's the
(57:02):
executive producer and she'salso on the show?
Right, I hope it works out.
Speaker 1 (57:07):
So I did catch him.
I did catch one of his sermonsbecause I just started, because
I didn't really know who he wasuntil you know, obviously she
started promoting him and hedoes pray for the girls.
Yeah, I mean, listen, you knowwe're not here to judge, because
we know you're not holier thannow and you know.
(57:28):
So he does include the show anddon't judge people for whatever
.
We're just going to pray forthem and stuff.
I think they're doing a goodjob in managing it.
I don't know, I like themtogether.
I like them to work.
I do like them together, yeah.
Speaker 2 (57:43):
I like them together and they seem to have a good
chemistry.
And he see, this is what I likeabout him.
He seems very assured of who heis.
Speaker 1 (57:52):
A man.
Speaker 2 (57:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (57:54):
A leader.
Yeah, he's the first one.
Guys, today just want to bewith him Again.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (57:59):
We don't know.
Speaker 1 (58:00):
We don't know.
But he talks a good talk and hewalks a good walk, and I hope
that is true, because a man'sman is just very hard to find
these days and I think that iswhy there is like a drought, you
know, in the dating scene.
All right, tracy, before weclose out, oh, tell us, oh, tell
(58:24):
us how we can find you.
We can continue to support you.
Give us your handles.
Speaker 2 (58:31):
I don't have one, okay.
I'm that person.
You can find me on Instagram atthe Tracy Bonner T-H-E, tracy,
t-r-a-c-e-y, bonner B-O-N-N-E-R.
Speaker 1 (58:45):
And that's it.
That's it, tracy Bonner, I'mgonna take the time to chat.
I mean, I'm more faithful.
You're, like, my first officialguest on this Is Me podcast.
I've always just done them bymyself, but I have such a good
time connecting and speakingwith everyone, so I'm going to
try something and let's see howit works.
Like I'm trying to like figureout a closing, okay.
(59:07):
Okay, so I'm gonna start asentence and you're gonna finish
it.
Speaker 2 (59:12):
Okay, oh.
Speaker 1 (59:14):
You ready?
I am.
Speaker 2 (59:18):
Amazing.
Speaker 1 (59:20):
Okay, I am amazing.
Speaker 2 (59:24):
I don't know, I am amazing.
Speaker 1 (59:26):
I want to start.
Speaker 2 (59:27):
We got to start saying these things.
Even you know, I feel themright now.
Speaker 1 (59:35):
Affirmation Tracy, I love you so much.
Thank you for having me.
You face, call me with Joe,okay.
Speaker 2 (59:44):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (59:46):
So say hey, joe, and yeah, we're gonna talk after
this.
So, thank you, love you.
Bye, and thank you all fortuning in.
Cheryl Stewart, thank you, youwere being very interactive.
Please like, share, subscribeand, as always, I will talk to
you guys soon.
Now how to end this live.
(01:00:09):
Let me see, hit the bell Righthere.
Hello everyone and welcome to this Is Me podcast,
and I am your girl, marilyn.
I am going to wait for my guestto come in.
She'll be here soon.
It is Friday and I am feelinggood.
I got a new haircut.
(00:23):
Yes, she is giving body.
So, anyways, the guest I amgoing to have is Tracy Bonner.
Now, tracy, I met her almost 10years ago in Atlanta and I
interviewed her many, many yearsago.
So it is just a very specialnight that here we are, all
(00:45):
these years later and I get tointerview her again and she has
grown so much and she has doneso many things since the last
time I've seen her and it isjust basically catching up with
an old friend.
She is just such good energyand I think that those type of
(01:07):
relationships are just good tomaintain and to nourish.
Even though you go years ormonths without speaking to
someone, it is just so good tojust always keep in contact and
just check in with them, becauseyou just never know what it
will just do for you where youare in your life and sometimes
(01:28):
you just need to hear and tap infrom that person.
It is just very nostalgic rightwhen we reminisce and speak to
the people from many, many moonsago.
Yes, so I am super excited.
If you are a sweet Magnolia'sfan, like I am, I literally
(01:50):
binge watch the moment Netflixreleases it and I think she is
coming on soon, guys.
The moment they release it, Iliterally binge watch and I lose
sleep until like 5 in themorning just watching, because
it is just so good and I justlove it.
So don't mind me drinking tea.
(02:13):
I am doing a 30 day no alcohol.
I am heavy on the teas lately,learning about the herbs, the
benefits.
Okay, oh, here she is, tracy.
(02:40):
What's up?
You look good honey.
You got dressed for me.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
You know, I said I am coming on with my boobs.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I am giving yes to the lip honey Thank you?
How are you?
I am okay, I am okay.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I am ready to have conversations, so I have been
looking forward to this sinceyou invited me on here.
What are we going to talk about?
What are we going to be saying?
I am really excited.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
You know what you know.
I have been at this for many,many years, and when I go to
interview someone, I usually Ido have my little book, though
Hold on, I am about to plug inmy journal.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
And I have some questions for you.
But I didn't really need thatmany questions because it is
like catching up with an oldgirlfriend.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
I know right.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Before you got on.
I was just saying how it isjust so crazy, how it is a full
circle moment, because Iinterviewed you almost ten years
ago.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Yeah, when I first moved to Atlanta.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, Did you first move there?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Yeah, it was about a year after I moved here, but
yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Look at you now, baby .
Look at you.
Look at us.
Okay, look at us.
Oh, my God, I just got chills.
So tell me, we met in Atlanta.
Yeah, you came at the time.
My show was called the Brunch,yes, and I interviewed for Date
Yourself, girl.
I do want to recap what ishappening.
(04:21):
Fill us in.
Are we still dating ourself,girl?
Because I have an answer tothat.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Well, actually yes and no.
Here's the thing I neverstopped dating.
I never stopped dating.
I think what peoplemisunderstood about the title
was that I was bashing men andtelling me and you telling women
, you don't need a man.
And I'm like no, I want peopleto understand I would get so
(04:51):
engrossed in my relationshipsthat I would lose all of myself,
and so that's why I was likeafter my last relationship back
in 2013, I was just like who areyou without this man in your
life, without any man in yourlife?
Do you know what you like?
(05:12):
Do you know what you're willingto put up with?
Do you know some of the thingsthat you need to change?
Do you need counseling?
Like all of those things and Ijust A self reflection, yeah,
and I was like I don't know ifI'm really.
I say I'm ready for arelationship, but I don't know
if I'm ready because I haven'tdone any of the work, heal the
(05:35):
traumas that I had.
Here's the thing I was incollege.
I was in a four and a half yearrelationship with the same guy,
and two and a half of thoseyears he was physically and
emotionally abusive, and I knowa lot of people.
A lot of people talk aboutphysical abuse, but my physical
abuse was when I had surgery.
(05:55):
He kicked me in my surgicalscar.
Wow, he was a mean methodical.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Militia.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
And he would strangle me or smother me.
He dragged me outside, coveredmy head with my sweater and he
threw the luggage on top of me.
You know, because I would spendthe night.
He dragged me outside, my shirtripped off, in front of my
dad's frat brother.
He saw that.
You know that's the kind ofphysical abuse.
(06:25):
He body slammed me so hard thatI suffered a fractured spine
and didn't realize it at thetime that that's what was wrong.
I would sit on my right sidebecause I was just in so much
pain and finally went to adoctor and he was like have you
been?
Speaker 1 (06:44):
in an accident.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
I was like no.
And then, when I reflected, Isaid, oh well, my ex boyfriend
body slammed me and he was likehow long ago was that?
That was 20.
Oh, I can't even say 20.
It was like 2000, 2001.
So I was 20, 21 years old, youknow, and thinking you're in
(07:11):
love.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Yeah.
It was because he wants me andhis way of affection.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Yeah, and you know I grew up in a small town in
Tennessee and we gonna be realtonight.
I don't think I've reallydiscussed.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Listen, it's me and you tonight.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Got it.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Well, I grew up with a poor image of myself.
There weren't a lot of darkerskinned black women, black girls
who were deemed pretty, or youknow.
A lot of times the lighterskinned girls would get most of
the attention from the guys,right?
(07:54):
So I would struggle with howcan I get some attention?
You know, and just as ateenager, sex was something that
was new.
You know I'm like what is thisthing?
Is this how I have to get youknow their attention?
Speaker 1 (08:14):
We didn't have a way to learn back then, right?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
We didn't have social media.
We didn't.
We didn't have social media,and I grew up in the south and
our mothers were not reallytalking to us about sex.
What they would say is don'thave it.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Right, that's it.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yeah, and so I think, as a young teenager, I just was
looking for validation.
I wanted someone to love me,someone to like me, and I went
about it the wrong way and I metthis guy at college and was
like oh, I got a boyfriend, heplays football and he's
(08:53):
attractive and he wants me, buthe beat me down, you know,
mentally and physically.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
And did that pattern continue like once you left him?
Did you find yourself going andjumping into another
relationship, suffering the samething?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Not the physical abuse so much, but I think what
I did was I allowed patterns ofemotional abuse to continue.
I would allow men to manipulateme or gas like me or just treat
me in the old kind of way, andI would just stick around
(09:29):
because I'm like, well, nobodywants me, nobody will want me,
this is all I have, this is allI have to choose from.
So that's where I am, like.
I'm still trying to figure outdating.
I live in Atlanta.
It is not a place and, as you,as I've gotten older, it's like
(09:55):
you know men, my age, I'm not aperson.
My age are either married ordating younger, and so the older
guys.
I'm not necessarily attractedto an older man, not to say that
I won't date them, but they'rea lot of the time stuck in their
(10:15):
way, they're not veryspontaneous or they're not risk
takers and I'm just like I justwant to take it back for a
second Because you know, this issomething that I've suffered
with as well.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
You know, I'm newly divorced and I waited a long
time before I got with someoneright by choice, and I thought,
because I thought I was doingthe work.
So when you say date yourselfand I didn't even begin to do
the work, or I started the workor I did the work, but then you
(10:52):
fall right back into thesituation so you really didn't
do shit right.
So it's what for?
I can share what I've beendoing as far as self caring and
the work, because it gets to acertain point that will blame
the men and will blame the men.
But if you're falling back intothe same pattern at some point,
we're going to have to blameourselves.
(11:14):
Yes, so why are we traumabonding?
Why are we attracted?
Why do we continue to attractthis type?
What is it?
Why are we so open and honestand loving to the wrong person,
and how are we able to identifythe right person?
Speaker 2 (11:32):
That's that's deep.
So I think for me counselinghas helped me kind of figure
those things out.
Why am I trauma bonding withsomeone?
Why am I trying to be a fixer,or why do I want so much A
nurturer?
You know, I want to show thisman the fixer part.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
The fixer part because I am a victim of that.
Why do I want to be a fixer?
The self reflection is becauseI'm afraid to fix myself.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Oh, that's good, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
I'm the fear of what if I was to fix myself and how
far would I get once I get there.
I cross that threshold.
What is the fear.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
What do you mean?
You are afraid to fix yourself.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
No, it's like it's a sense of finding purpose when
you're still lost and don't knowwho you are.
Yeah Right, so at least let mefind some sort of purpose.
I mean, this was me before.
I'm not saying that's not asense.
Let me find a purpose of tryingto fix someone, to kind of feel
good instead of fixing myself,so I can self feel good.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Wow, I never looked at it that way.
It's not that I want to fixsomebody.
I've always felt like I wantedto be a supporter.
You know, oftentimes the menthat I date, predominantly black
men, say that you know theyhaven't had a woman who has had
(13:11):
their back or has supported them, or their life just shows
struggle, right, right.
I don't want to be that forthem.
I want to be someone whouplifts you, who empowers you.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Where you lose yourself.
Yeah, yeah, the energy is notreciprocated.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
It's not.
So my thing is now recognizingwhen it's not reciprocal love or
like ending it early, notstaying around.
I just recently stopped seeingsomeone because, you know, I
(13:53):
just told them I just we don'talign and I don't want to lead.
You want any further?
I don't want this to go anyfurther than like we cool, you
don't even have to call andcheck on me, Right?
That's art I started to noticethe signs early and I'm like I'm
(14:14):
just connecting now, so yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
So what are some of the things that you have been
doing for yourself, forself-caring?
Cause?
Listen, it's a lot of work.
I just did a podcast on thisit's going to drop Monday about
doing the work, about theself-caring and being
intentional, and it's somethingand I'm realizing it because I
(14:40):
started earlier mid-year withreally being intentional on the
work.
Now, right, because youidentify the problem and then
you do the work.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
And it's exhausting.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Yeah, I'll tell you where I it's ongoing work, but
I'll tell you where I still needthe most work, and it's my
mental health.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Yes, but that's the work.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
The mental health is the work, the mental health is
the hardest part for me, and Ithink what I mean by that is my
mindset.
I can sometimes be a pessimistwhen it comes to thinking about
love and loving relationships.
(15:31):
Do I believe in them for otherpeople?
Absolutely.
I think it can happen forsomeone else, but when it comes
to me, I'm like no.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Is that a generational mindset for you?
Speaker 2 (15:47):
No, explain.
What do you mean bygenerational mindset?
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Have you.
Is this something that you grewup with not knowing what love
is or seeing what love is?
Speaker 2 (15:58):
No, no, my grandmother, my mother's parents
, were to me the epitome of aloving relationship.
Oh, you hear me?
Yeah, okay, they were theepitome of a loving relationship
.
My grandfather doded on mygrandmother, gave her
(16:19):
compliments, took her out it wasvery romantic and we really
have a lot of money and he wasable to woo her, woo her right
and he was able to make plansuntil his death and it just they
would hold hands and the littlething, yeah, and make plans and
(16:40):
I he would say I love you andhe would kiss her and you know,
showing affection.
And I never.
I lived with them until I was14.
I think I saw them argue once,out of that entire time of me
living with them, like they madeit, made living in that house
easy and I was able to makeplans for one another.
(17:01):
I've always desired that and Ihad a very close relationship to
my grandfather.
Up until his death and I watched.
My parents are married butthere are some things that I
recognize in their marriage thatI'm like I would not put up
with that.
I don't care, I would not putup with that.
(17:21):
And I think it's because I'molder now.
I've gone through a lot, so Irecognize what is toxic to me.
I wouldn't be able to put upwith that, like the older
generation of of our parents youknow, Are you afraid to open
yourself up?
No, I'm not afraid, I'm always.
(17:43):
I'm always.
Look, I date a lot.
Okay, I, I like dating, I likethe newness of the relationships
I love the newness.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Okay, I can get the newness.
All you know the whole timeyeah.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
That butter, butterfly feeling that you feel,
but I'm not afraid of alsoworking inside of the
relationship either.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Um, it has to be both ways?
Hmm, it has to be both ways.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
And I was going to say I'm finding that though you
know, after that third or fourthmonth is like they don't want
to, they don't want to, theydon't want to, they don't want
to, they don't want to.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
They are very comfortable, honey, so yeah,
they're very comfortable.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Yeah, I mean so, but I date.
I'm not afraid to open myselfup.
But when I do begin to bemyself, I start to see me and be
distant and I'm like, well, isit something about me?
Like I'm real, I'll go to mytherapist and say okay, I've
noticed a pattern change.
She's not calling as much,she's not texting back.
(18:49):
You know he's not doing thesethings, so I'm falling back too,
because I don't want to.
You're matching energy.
Yeah, this dating stuff is hard.
It's hard.
It's 2023.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
It's ghetto.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
It is I'm ghetto.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
I'm over it.
But listen, I'm happy that youdid the work and that you came
out of your trauma, baby,because it made you stronger.
Okay, so enough of that, I'llbe self.
We know dating in 2023 for usolder women, although we look
like we're in our twentiesreceiving that girl.
Um, I, too, am dating myselfand I absolutely love it, so I
(19:29):
love that you started thatmovement and made it okay.
And I'll have you know that whenI looked at an alien, I dated
myself a lot, yeah, and Ihaven't really done it since.
I've been back in New York butearly month I'm like I'm going
to start, I'm going to start,I'm going to an event by myself
this weekend.
It's a red carpet, I'm going toget suited and booted because
(19:51):
I'm going to.
I'm like you know what?
Look, I don't want to date, Idon't want to date, I'm good,
but I want to jump into.
When I met you, I interviewedyou and we hit it off right away
Because you are a light, youare beautiful, your energy is
contagious, and you invited meto a play and first introduction
(20:16):
that I had to Tracy Bono, theactress not to date yourself,
you know, but the actress and itwas just phenomenal to see.
And nothing, nothing doing.
The play is very hard.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
It is.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Because like doing the show is like cut, replay,
cut.
You know, doing a play is allyou got to know your lines.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
I'm going through that now.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Yes, so tell me, many years ago you were in a play.
Now you are on TV girl.
You are on brazing Diane, blacklightning, where you and I
remember I was in the movietheater and I don't know if it
was with Josh Dumal, I think.
Did you do a movie with him?
Speaker 2 (21:06):
No.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
I think you played a nurse.
It was a big actor like that.
I think you played a nurse.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Oh, I know who you're talking about.
It was a movie right LongestRide, Was that it?
Speaker 1 (21:16):
I think was it, I don't know.
I'm like, is that Tracy?
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
I played a couple of nurses so loud in the movie I'm
like that's Tracy, I'm like, ohmy God, look, I'm tearing up.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
It was such like a proud moment to see myself.
I'm like, oh my God, I'm like,oh my God.
I'm like, oh my God, I'm like,oh my God.
I'm like, oh my God, I'm like,oh my God.
It was just like a proud momentto see my friend on the big
screen.
So tell me some of thechallenges.
What do you got, especially,you know, coming from Tennessee
to Atlanta.
Did you move to Atlanta fromTennessee to pursue acting?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
No, I'm originally from Decatur.
My parents moved when I waseight, officially moved when I
was eight.
I grew up in Tennessee, went tocollege in Tennessee, then I
went to grad school in Chicagoand that was my introduction to
professional acting andprofessional theater.
(22:11):
And so I lived there for 12years, kind of hit the glass
ceiling, was doing voiceover butnot a lot of TV and film
opportunities and I quit.
I quit and I was like why don'tyou come?
Because he retired from CedarGrove High School in Ellenwood.
And he said why don't you come?
I'm moving back to Tennesseewith your mom and you know why
(22:35):
don't you come out here?
You have, I did a couple playshere in the past and he was like
, why don't you just try it out?
I was like, whatever, I'mquitting, I'm going to be a
teacher.
And yeah, I auditioned for acouple plays and then I did,
started doing TV and I startedliking it and started doing it
(22:55):
more and yeah, that's how Iended up really turning my
sights towards TV.
Now I'm back doing theater.
I'm actually about to do a playin Arizona until March.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
So when Broadway comes, I'm going to be Frank
Rowe.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Oh, you're too kind.
I can't sing.
So Broadway doesn't?
They don't do a lot of straightplays.
You better fake it.
So you make it girl.
I wish I could have seen.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Oh, you're going to hold a little tune.
You got to get you some voicelessons.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Oh, no, no, no, I know my language.
You know your limits.
I just want to see MJ, themusical Someone asked what
school did you attend for acting?
Oh, I went to the theaterschool at DePaul University in
Chicago it's formerly known asthe Goodman School of Drama and
(23:54):
that's where I got my MFA inacting.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Ok, Check it out.
Check it out, charel Stewart.
Thank you for tuning in.
Oh girl Tracy, I'm going topull out my little book here.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
You are hilarious.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
You can purchase it now on Amazon.
Yeah, no, I know we spoke onthe phone a couple of weeks ago.
I just want to give you yourflowers because you were too
busy giving me my flowers andwith you, or just thank you.
You deserve it.
Thank you, I know it hasn'tbeen easy for you, I know it has
(24:33):
been a challenge and, honestlyand truly, I am so proud of you.
And when I tell you, I literallyteared up when I saw you in the
theater.
It was, you know, because it'slike you're seeing the evolution
.
You know what I mean.
And don't let anyone ever tellyou different and don't let
anyone ever dim your light.
(24:54):
And too bad.
You ask can't sing because Iwas hoping for Broadway.
I can't.
I tried, no, but I'll takeNetflix because it's a Netflix
thing, but we're going to getthere.
Yes, ok, did you find?
So?
You said you found challengesgrowing up.
You know as a black girl andthe light skinned girls got more
attention.
(25:14):
Did you find the challengingfor you also in this, although
you're in the black mecca?
Right, did you find somechallenges being a black woman
in this industry and I've heardthis from other actors and
actresses but have you everexperienced not getting a part
or kind of being looked overover someone else because you
(25:36):
know you're a black woman.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
Not necessarily because I'm a black woman, but I
don't look a certain way Likelet me just keep it 100.
You know, this industry isabout appearance, how you look,
and I just don't have a lot ofEuropean, you know, features and
(26:01):
there's just not a lot of spacefor women like me.
They will give opportunities tomaybe five of us and that's it.
So I don't necessarily feellike it was because I'm black.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Black, the art world's written rather.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Yeah, I'm a certain kind of I'm a sister.
I'm just gonna be I'm a sister.
When I walk in a room, it'sreally like they all stereotype
me very quickly.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Did that.
Because of that did you everfeel discouraged?
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Oh yeah, yeah, I told you, I quit before I moved
there.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Did you quit again when you got there?
Speaker 2 (26:47):
I quit for three years.
I mean, I did theater.
I would do a play here, likethe play that you saw, and a
play there, but no, I haven'treally quit.
I think what has happened is mycareer shifted and my purpose
has shifted.
I find joy in mentorship.
I like to mentor new artistsbecause we didn't have them when
(27:14):
we graduated school.
They just put us out there andwas like okay, bye With the
girls right, figure it out.
And nobody really taught us thebusiness of being an actor.
So I enjoy mentorship.
I enjoy teaching, particularly.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
I noticed you started coaching.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Yes, I have a self-taque business, okay, and
I'll coach within the session,right?
The other coaching reallyrequires a lot of me, so I have
to pick and choose those moments.
But I also teach.
You know, I teach theself-taque class and I found-.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
I'd love to be your student.
You should come.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
That class must be so fun because a lot of my
students are based in Chicago,new York and LA.
Wow, that's good to be, yeah,but that's where I'm looking to
turn my focus, because we'remultifaceted.
If you're an artist, you'remultifaceted.
(28:19):
You should be.
You shouldn't just depend onthat one thing Because, as you
know, as an actor, I haven'tbooked anything since February
2022.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Well, the strike was happening, right.
Well, february 2022.
Oh, last year, okay.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
So I did a play starting December of last year
and it took me out of thecasting pool and then when I got
back a couple of months later,the strike happened.
So it's been kind of difficultto navigate.
But I'm going to be honest withyou.
(29:03):
I wasn't one of those actorswho was dying to get back to
work.
I knew there was a lot ofself-work and self-care.
I needed to do that.
I was not doing for myself,because I was really overly
focused on my career and I thinksometimes when you're so tunnel
(29:24):
vision, you'll forget to takecare of yourself, you forget
about your health period, you'llforget about pouring into
yourself and doing those thingsthat make you happy, bring you
joy.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
This self-care is so important in the aspects of your
life and sometimes what I wasfinding that I was doing is I
was just busy, busy, busy.
But then I'm like am I beingproductive?
Speaker 2 (29:51):
So that's where I was like I need this break because
I was doing so much for so manypeople that I forgot about me.
So I was trying during thestrike.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
People suffer from that strike.
They did, they did.
I know some directors andproducers from Atlanta you know
as my second home, so I know alot of people who were
struggling.
Yeah, but you know I'm notgoing to say that I didn't
struggle, but what I want toknow you can say you're blessed
(30:25):
and highly favored and God gotyou and he will handle all the
problems.
This is what?
Speaker 2 (30:31):
but this is what I want artists to remember is that
, remember, before you weremaking money, we were out here
grinding, we were out herehustling.
That can't, that can't never,we can't never get that
comfortable, right?
So we feel like we can't havesomething in our back pocket,
and I think that's what helpedme was that, you know, I was
(30:56):
doing some other things.
I was teaching, I was mentoring, I was doing, you know.
So I didn't really feel it likea lot of people who were just
solely depending on the acting,which is, you know, if you can
solely depend on acting, that'samazing, right?
What I'm saying is rememberthat thing, that that grind,
(31:17):
that hustle we had, you know,before we were just Tracy
focused.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
You know my ADD.
I go all over the place.
I want to see you on the TylerPerry.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
I've been on Tyler Perry before, which one I was on
have and have Nots.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
I was on.
Oh, you see, I didn't get intohave and have Nots.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
I was on two episodes and Tyler Perry amazing.
The studio is amazing.
I think their process moves alittle quickly for me for my
style of acting.
I mean a lot of actors havephotographic memories.
I don't.
I like the.
(31:58):
I love theater because I can goover these lines over and over.
I could do this play over andover.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
Yeah, I was watching Maxine's Baby.
Did you watch that documentary?
I haven't seen it yet.
No, oh, good yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
I mean, my friends are on Tyler Perry and I look at
them and I'm like y'all aredifferent set of kind of actors.
Y'all can do 80 pages a day.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Yeah, we may know you , we might just do seven pages,
so let's shift over, becausethat was a good segue to see
Maxine's Baby Love, love, lovethe show.
Tell me how you landed that.
What's been the process?
I?
Speaker 2 (32:40):
want to know everything.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
Tell me the backstory , tell me the gossip.
It's so funny.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
I got this audition to play a Lutheran pastor and I
was like I'm not going to getthis.
I literally just set the linesin a monologue and I can't see
the comments too.
Yes, I can oh, I'm, will addressthat in a minute.
But I did the thing.
(33:05):
I played her like a realBaptist pastor because I was
like I don't Google Lutheran andI was like I don't know what
that is Right.
And I was like I'm, just be meRight.
And so I had a client come inand do the same audition and I
was like, dang, and you're notthe teacher, you wowed me.
You were amazing.
I said let me show you myaudition.
(33:30):
And we laughed, we laughed atit and then, when I booked it, I
called her.
I said, girl, you're not goingto believe me, you are not going
to believe that I booked thatpastor and after that it just I
love her.
I mimic, not mimic, but I drawfrom my mom.
My mom is pastor, pastorgeneral.
(33:51):
She is very kind and wise andjust tells you like it is, and
so I mean that's how I got it.
Really it was a self-tape.
She's the fixer.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
My mama yeah.
She's the fixer, becauseeveryone goes to pastor, pastor,
June.
Whenever everyone's goingthrough something, who do they
go?
And I'll tell you one thingthat I love most about, because
you know what type of show isthat considered Like it's
(34:25):
episodic drama.
I guess you would right, youknow someone say like it's a
little cheesy and stuff likethat, and you know, I don't know
why.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
Well it's, I call it down home wholesome.
Yes, you know, and if that'scheesy, then I'll take that any
day, because I love it becausethe message is yeah.
Yeah, I think we are bombardednow with a lot of negative
content and a lot of I cannot.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
I like rom-coms, I like happy stuff, like you know
some of those reality, you knowI just love some of my
housewives, you know.
You know, with the other stuffit's just like I can't.
I like feel good stuff, yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
There we go and it is a feel good show.
It's down home community.
You know these people.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Yeah, it's community, the community part.
And you know, being from NewYork and obviously I lived in
Atlanta for a few years and nowliving in and then living in
Atlanta and being able tocompare the two, I was exposed
to so many new things living inthe South and living, you know,
up here.
And it's just and I thinkthat's why I love the show so
(35:42):
much because it's like inAtlanta people have dinner
parties right, like Sundays,they're doing stuff by the pool
and I'm like what is this stuff?
Or a high school football game.
People are tailgating.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
No, that's something that I've never experienced
before.
So going down to the South, I'mlike damn, I'm actually slowing
down and just enjoying themoment.
So just the show beingreflective of sisterhood
friendship.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
They are for one another, what it means to be
there for one another, thatyou're going to get into some
shit but you're going to make upand be there for each other at
the end and you know how muchchurch and God and prayer is
involved.
It's good.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
I love it.
I love doing the show.
I love my castmates.
I know that's cliche, but Ireally do enjoy it.
Like I look forward to going onthat set.
And sometimes that could berare, you know, sometimes work
can just be work, but they arereally family.
Yeah, it wasn't just work forus.
It was actually, like, like yousaid, going to see my friend.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
Brooke is my friend.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
That's my homegirl.
Like Joe, I can call Joe andsay hey, joe, can you come pop
up at a class for me?
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Wait, hold on who's Brooke?
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Oh, brooke is Dana, sue, brian, the favorite oh.
I love she is me in real life,Like we connected on a real
level, like do I know you?
Like did you, did you date thatguy, that same guy, Like we
really everything about her is.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
I love her character so much.
I love when she was in herphase of, you know, stella
getting her groove back.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Yes, no with a farmer , I love it.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Okay, so Dana Sue is Brooke.
Oh, so who's Joe?
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Joe is the lead.
I'm sorry, my dog is isbothering me.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Well, you want to be in this.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Oh my goodness, so cute, he's a baby Boy.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, bourbon,he's a baby.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Bourbon Say hey, my babies are not here.
That's why the house is quietCause, or else this would not be
, happening right now.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
I'm sorry, no, I love it, he's part of it now, oh,
joe is the main character.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
Is that the the baseball player coach?
Speaker 2 (38:11):
Yes, yes, cal, why can't I find me one of those?
Yeah, I mean, it's going tohappen, though.
See, that's the thing I when Iwas talking about mindset like
we.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
Thank you, you know mindset yes, he is a cutie,
cheryl.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
To cutie no stopper Show stiller.
I just really think it couldhappen for us.
I think my issue is, like Isaid, mindset.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
No, it's the mindset.
I've got to work on my mindset.
You got to work on the mindset.
You got to be prepared for itand you know you got to write it
down.
But for me, I want to be athousand percent Me.
Yeah, I don't ever lose myselfagain.
You feel like you lost yourselfand I'm like, oh, my gosh.
(39:05):
And my marriage.
My girlfriend's like who areyou Where'd?
Speaker 2 (39:08):
you go, and even, what do you mean?
Cause I know what I mean when Isay I lost myself.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
But like I stopped Myarlin, this, my radio, my
entrepreneurship, I just fellinto that submissive role, right
, because I thought that that'swhat you do as a wife.
That's just, I didn't know, youknow, and I lost her you know,
(39:36):
I didn't know where she went andthat's being the life.
I didn't have life within meanymore.
Wow, now it's like I'm growing.
You know I love talking to you,I love doing my podcast, I love
networking.
You know all the things I usedto do out there and I Helped
(39:58):
being talking to people.
That's just me, at my core, andI just completely stopped
everything that defined me.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
Well, that's crazy because when I would see you,
you know and I don't know ifit's social media that does this
to us, that gives us this falsesense of whatever, but when I
would see you, you were workingout and you know, raising your
babies and you know it.
Just it appeared that you hadeverything you know and I Would
(40:29):
be lying if I I wasn't, if Ididn't say that I was looking at
your life, saying damn why Iwant that, you know, why can't I
have that?
Speaker 1 (40:38):
but not, you know um.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
Oh, do I need my tissues too.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
No, no, no, we're gonna get it under control.
You know, I think that you wantthings to work out so bad, and
when I met my husband, it wasgreat, it was great and then it
was bad, and then it was greatand then it was bad.
(41:12):
But then it's denial, right,because you hear these stories
like not everything is perfect,things will work out, or it's
just a hump, and stuff like that.
You know, so it's it was great.
Because I'm like oh my god,someone asked me to marry them.
(41:33):
Oh my god, I'm.
I'm finally gonna Raisechildren with someone, right?
I'm not gonna be a singlemother again, you know.
So it's Creating the.
Oh my god, I never had this.
It's here, but at what cost.
You know what I mean.
So when I finally started beingwoke and I started my podcast
(42:00):
almost like a diadairy, becauseI needed a way to vent you know,
this is why I started that thisis me podcast, because I'm like
it's not feeling the way it'slooking hmm, oh Wow you know,
and that's huge and you do lookat social media and you do see
(42:21):
I'm like, oh man, yeah, I thinkI have that and you know.
But then I'm like but why don'tI feel the way that it looks?
And Again, once I started beingwoke and wait a minute, I don't
give a fuck how what looks, I,I care about how I feel.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
Mmm.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
And I was just venting on my podcast and
venting, and venting and it wasmy idea diary until I Realized
that I didn't care how it looked, I wanted to feel, I Wanted to
feel me, I wanted to see meagain.
Speaker 2 (42:56):
So huge.
You know, I'm doing this playcalled intimate apparel and and
Esther.
This is 35 year old woman, I'mmuch older than her, but she's
never been with the man.
But that's something that shedesires in 1905.
And she has a line in this playwhere she says, 35, mamey, and
(43:20):
he wants to marry me, yeah.
And then she says, and I ain'tgot no more opportunities, I'm
afraid.
Or, and there ain't gonna be nomore opportunities, I'm afraid.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
So I've told him, yes , it's like, oh Wow because you,
you feel like you set yourselfthis timeline.
I'm like I was single for solong and here, you know, is I'm
like I'm ready, I don't want togo out there, I want it.
You know they meet.
But then it's like once yourealize, like what the fuck?
Where am I rushing to?
Yeah, so for you to see me andlike, and I kind of want that.
(43:56):
That's why I was so transparentabout Putting the downfall and
the demise.
You know, obviously he's wasn'ttoo happy and still not too
happy about it.
But I always say, if you don'twant, if you're embarrassed by
what you done, maybe you shouldhave never done your actions.
Because I am a very transparentperson.
You've always known me to bethat.
I am a very open book and I'mnot afraid to share my goals
(44:21):
because of social media.
Yeah Well, I have a wedding.
The marriage didn't work out.
You know I was sleeping on thecouch with my kids and you know,
look at me now and it's, it's astory.
Like we all go through it.
So if you are posting andthinking that you know Gucci
here and vacation here andyou're getting your ass beat,
(44:44):
yeah, I feel sorry for you.
Speaker 2 (44:47):
That's huge listen.
Let me tell you something.
I, on the eye, have alwayswanted to be a mother.
I Always wanted to be married,though I always wanted to be a
wife and a mom, and Now, as a 44year old woman, I am undergoing
the process of freezing my eggsand it's I'm really late in the
(45:08):
process.
They really start stop at 42,right.
But they said they'll go up to46 Mm-hmm.
Because I chased my career andI'm finding a lot of women in my
craft Chase their careersbecause we have we feel like we
have such a short window, right,because we feel like this is a
(45:30):
young woman's game, and so we'relike, oh, I got to pursue my
career, I got a hit, I got a,you know, and that's what
happened to me.
I was chasing my career and Ioverlooked some, a couple guys,
you know, that could have been.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
But I hope you don't regret that I.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
Don't regret it, but I, I do regret not being a mom
and a wife.
I do.
I Just said I.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
That was a contradictory listen, I Do, I
think.
A lady in Uganda, linda Crazy,you are 44, looking like you're
going on 24 and crazy.
Trust me, as a mother of fourkids, four boys, oh boy, yeah, I
(46:17):
don't know what you feel, soI'm not gonna tell you, don't?
You know?
I don't know what you feel.
But it could have gone theother way right, like, yeah, I
could be saying about you, man,I wish I would have chased my
radio career.
You know, back then up in NewYork, it was Wendy Williams, you
know, an anti-marginal, and ifI would have stood at it when I
(46:38):
started it almost 10 years agomore over 10 years ago I
probably would have been there.
But I was at basketball gamesand coaching and, you know, had
to work a full time to maintain,you know they mean.
So I feel like it's potato,potato.
Speaker 2 (46:56):
I feel like right now , though, like I really do.
I'm like why do we have toforce sake this thing To pursue
what we want?
You know, why can't we haveboth?
Speaker 1 (47:09):
And I, I'm trying, I'm tired.
Speaker 2 (47:14):
Girl.
Speaker 1 (47:19):
But I feel like us women, we can.
Strong women, we can have itall.
You know it's gonna take time,it's going to be a journey, but
just know that your path is yourpath and you know now you're
ready the self-care and you hadto go through those
relationships.
You know to realize like, waita minute, I am beautiful,
anybody can want me.
(47:39):
It's a matter who I choose, whoI choose, not who chooses me
right.
So don't worry, you'll be theperfect mother.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
I'm gonna pray.
That's all I can do.
No, I'm serious.
Like I had a breakdown intherapy on Tuesday.
I was like I Missed the boat.
I waited too late.
It's too late for me.
I live in Atlanta.
It is so hard it is.
(48:10):
Let me tell you something theyounger guys.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
But you just said you have to be open to it and
you're not open to what day?
Speaker 2 (48:17):
Yeah, here's the thing I'm dating, but the
younger guys are Attracted to me, but they don't want to settle
down With me because I'm olderand the older guys won't.
Younger women I am just really.
I'm here, I'm in a weird range.
(48:39):
It's that weird space.
So that's why I May feel like,or it may seem like I'm not open
, but I am.
I want To share my life withsomebody.
I don't want to be in thishouse by myself.
I fell out of my closet one dayand almost hit my head and I
just sat there and I boo-hoo Crybecause I was like by myself.
(49:02):
I could have been in here, hitmy head and then some you know,
nobody's gonna know for threedays I think, oh, we haven't
heard from Tracy, because let'scheck on her.
I could be dead in that closet.
So, trust me, I think aboutLike being alone a lot and I
don't think people really whenthey view Relationships, when
(49:25):
they look at them, they don'tlook at them in totality.
I think we look at relationshipoh he fine.
Oh, he got money.
Oh, he could take look at hisjob title, he could take care of
me.
But I don't think we reallylook at the soul of a person.
We don't.
How, how, what's theirrelationship like with their
parents?
(49:45):
How do they treat their friends?
How do they view money?
You know our, our, ourreligious beliefs aligning with
one another.
Do we want to parent the sameway?
Do you want kids like?
We don't look at that kind ofstuff.
Speaker 1 (50:00):
No, we do our age does the younger's?
You know the younger's, theelders.
We look at that stuff with theyounger's and I always say you
can really get to know someonewhen they're around their
closest friends.
Yeah, cuz they're like in theirtrue comfort zone.
Now they're letting their hairdown.
Yeah, I'm on the same boat, butI don't want to be.
(50:22):
I'm good Really.
Yeah, it's got them, it's got.
Oh, all right, I have a couplemore questions, you know, thank
you.
Thank you for switching up thetime.
You know I have my son's game,see multitask.
Go to my son's basketball game.
Okay, what's next?
(50:42):
What's next for Tracy Bonner?
Where do you see yourself?
Speaker 2 (50:49):
in Arizona doing this play.
Speaker 1 (50:52):
Oh, who is one like big actor?
What type of movie would youlike to do and what actor or
actress would you like to workwith one day?
Speaker 2 (51:03):
I don't have the kind of movie, but I can tell you,
the actor that I really wouldlove to work with is Mahershala
Ali he is so nuanced.
Speaker 1 (51:11):
Oh, he's good, he's so good.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
I watched this movie called Swan Song and there's a
scene in it where he meets hiswife on this train.
It's the scene where they firstmet and they didn't say a word
but, like they spoke so much Forlike two or three minutes and I
was like, what did I justwitness?
(51:34):
So I would love to be on a setwith someone who's that nuanced
and grounded and fine.
Fine, he's amazing, but he justembodies everything I feel like
an actor should have.
Yes, when you watch him acting,he's not acting, he is honest
(51:59):
and real and true.
Speaker 1 (52:01):
I don't know he definitely embodies the every
character that he plays for sure, and he is underlooked, I think
.
Speaker 2 (52:09):
Really he got two Oscars.
Speaker 1 (52:12):
Is it?
Yeah, oh well, I just feel likein the public eye he's
overlooked.
Speaker 2 (52:18):
I think that's good though, yeah, you know.
Oh, I forget the man's name.
Anyway, I feel like when youcan just go do the work and then
go Go home, You're right and beout the blogs and out the news
that's I know.
Speaker 1 (52:36):
look at the other one .
Speaker 2 (52:38):
I'm like yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:39):
I was rooting for you .
Speaker 2 (52:41):
Jonathan Mac.
Speaker 1 (52:42):
Jonathan Mac yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:44):
Yeah.
At the height, at the heightWell yeah, at the height, but
this is I don't think it's theend form People are saying it's
not the end, it's the career'sover, but I really think he will
take a couple years.
It's gonna take a couple years.
(53:05):
Stay out of the limelight, Isay, keep your head down,
focused And-.
Speaker 1 (53:13):
I wanna wrap this up, but now that we're talking
about him funny about we weretalking about the trauma bonding
.
Oh yeah, so Megan is hand inhand with him.
Speaker 2 (53:25):
Well, you know, I don't know how real their
relationship is.
It kind of seems out of theblue for me.
Again, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (53:33):
After she just divorced.
And right, we don't know, wedon't know her business, we
don't.
But from what we do know, fromwhat we see here, she has
married a pastor.
Right, yeah, they divorced Notsaying that all the pastors are
good and, you know, holier thannow and all that stuff and now
(53:53):
she is like hands in hand, afterthis new divorce, with this man
who's facing all theseallegations Now, do you think
she's healed?
Do you think she's traumabonding?
Do you think, like now, is hefeeding her that?
I love you, thank you for beinghere for me, but he's giving
(54:15):
her whatever hole she wasmissing.
Speaker 2 (54:20):
You know, I don't know if she's trauma bonding
Again.
I don't even know if this is areal relationship.
They could just honestly befriends and people have said
that they're in a relationshipand they're just going with it.
I don't know.
I do recall seeing someinterviews where she spoke about
(54:42):
her marriage and howdisappointed she was that it did
end and it didn't end becauseshe wanted it to end.
So you know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (54:55):
Look, this is why dating is so scary.
A pastor cannot make it workand you are led by God.
Your covenant is protected byyou know.
Speaker 2 (55:08):
I got my own reason.
I got my own thoughts about whyI think that relationship
didn't work, why I honestlythink he struggled with her
being not so much in thelimelight.
But she is a sex symbol, she isgorgeous, she's boom, bang,
(55:36):
boom and I think that may for apastor, that image for him may
have kind of weighed on him,even though we've seen he's a
bullshit he took up for her, hetook up for her, I know, but I
think you think you can put upwith something or you can accept
something about someone, and Imean they were together 19 years
(55:59):
.
Speaker 1 (56:00):
So that's a long time .
Oh damn, I didn't know theywere together that long.
Oh, they were together for awhile he probably thought she
would like eventually tone itdown Real quick.
We can talk for hours.
I'm gonna say real quick, 30minutes from now, but Sony and
Key, sony, o'neill and Keyronwhat's his name?
Speaker 2 (56:24):
I know I follow him.
Speaker 1 (56:26):
You can just you know with that Keyon Keyon, Pastor
Keyon, pastor Keyon.
What do you think about that?
You know?
Speaker 2 (56:37):
I want it to work.
Let me tell you I do.
I struggle with her being onbasketball wives and what it
represents, the kind of behaviorit represents.
And then, yeah, keyon Henderson, the way they behave, I'm like,
is this going to cause frictionbetween, because she's the
(57:02):
executive producer and she'salso on the show?
Right, I hope it works out.
Speaker 1 (57:07):
So I did catch him.
I did catch one of his sermonsbecause I just started, because
I didn't really know who he wasuntil you know, obviously she
started promoting him and hedoes pray for the girls.
Yeah, I mean, listen, you knowwe're not here to judge, because
we know you're not holier thannow and you know.
(57:28):
So he does include the show anddon't judge people for whatever
.
We're just going to pray forthem and stuff.
I think they're doing a goodjob in managing it.
I don't know, I like themtogether.
I like them to work.
I do like them together, yeah.
Speaker 2 (57:43):
I like them together and they seem to have a good
chemistry.
And he see, this is what I likeabout him.
He seems very assured of who heis.
Speaker 1 (57:52):
A man.
Speaker 2 (57:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (57:54):
A leader.
Yeah, he's the first one.
Guys, today just want to bewith him Again.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (57:59):
We don't know.
Speaker 1 (58:00):
We don't know.
But he talks a good talk and hewalks a good walk, and I hope
that is true, because a man'sman is just very hard to find
these days and I think that iswhy there is like a drought, you
know, in the dating scene.
All right, tracy, before weclose out, oh, tell us, oh, tell
(58:24):
us how we can find you.
We can continue to support you.
Give us your handles.
Speaker 2 (58:31):
I don't have one, okay.
I'm that person.
You can find me on Instagram atthe Tracy Bonner T-H-E, tracy,
t-r-a-c-e-y, bonner B-O-N-N-E-R.
Speaker 1 (58:45):
And that's it.
That's it, tracy Bonner, I'mgonna take the time to chat.
I mean, I'm more faithful.
You're, like, my first officialguest on this Is Me podcast.
I've always just done them bymyself, but I have such a good
time connecting and speakingwith everyone, so I'm going to
try something and let's see howit works.
Like I'm trying to like figureout a closing, okay.
(59:07):
Okay, so I'm gonna start asentence and you're gonna finish
it.
Speaker 2 (59:12):
Okay, oh.
Speaker 1 (59:14):
You ready?
I am.
Speaker 2 (59:18):
Amazing.
Speaker 1 (59:20):
Okay, I am amazing.
Speaker 2 (59:24):
I don't know, I am amazing.
Speaker 1 (59:26):
I want to start.
Speaker 2 (59:27):
We got to start saying these things.
Even you know, I feel themright now.
Speaker 1 (59:35):
Affirmation Tracy, I love you so much.
Thank you for having me.
You face, call me with Joe,okay.
Speaker 2 (59:44):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (59:46):
So say hey, joe, and yeah, we're gonna talk after
this.
So, thank you, love you.
Bye, and thank you all fortuning in.
Cheryl Stewart, thank you, youwere being very interactive.
Please like, share, subscribeand, as always, I will talk to
you guys soon.
Now how to end this live.
(01:00:09):
Let me see, hit the bell Righthere.
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