We lay out a humane plan to rebuild health after years of neglect by dropping shame, rejecting all-or-nothing rules, and choosing small, flexible actions that fit real life. You get a four-step framework to restart with confidence and build self-trust that sticks.
• why shame and regret stall change
• how self-compassion improves consistency
• the failure of all-or-nothing plans
• the “always something” alternative
• small wins that rebuild self-trust
• a four-step reset: decide, simplify, stack wins, expect imperfection
• why lifting is a high-leverage first anchor
• foundations before overhauls
• a fire-building analogy for momentum
• practical examples for workouts and nutrition
If you want help building a restart plan that works in real life, that's exactly what we do at Transform Health Initiative. So when you're ready, we will help you live transformed!
Click Here To Send Us A Message!
Book Your Free Discovery Call! Complete this super short form.
References for Show Notes:
- Neff, K. D. (2003). The development and validation of a scale to measure self-compassion. Self and Identity.
- Sniehotta, F. F., et al. (2005). Behavioral strategies for physical activity in adults: a systematic review of intervention studies. Psychology & Health.
- Transformed Health Initiative client outcomes.
For Motivation and More Free Content, Visit Our THI Facebook Page!
Click Here And Follow Coach AK For Even More!
Join Our Free Facebook Group: Live Transformed: Rebuild Your Health, Habits, And Headspace
Instagram: @coachadamkelley
www.transformedhealthcoach.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
So, if that's you, if you fall into this category
and you're like me, then hear meclearly.
You are not broken and you'renot too far gone.
You can begin again.
Okay.
If you are breathing air, if themost high has given you grace to
live another day, you can dosomething about your health.
I promise you.
I don't care where you're at.
(00:20):
You may not be able to undoeverything.
You may not be able to reversecertain things, but you can make
yourself better than you aretoday.
That I can promise you.
SPEAKER_00 (00:29):
Welcome to Live Transformed, the podcast from
Transformed Health Initiative,where evidence-based truth meets
real life transformation.
Lead yourself, integrate health,value what matters, engage in
the process.
This is how you livetransformed.
And now here's your host, AdamKelly.
SPEAKER_01 (00:53):
What is up, my Live Transformed Family?
So glad you guys took time outof your day or out of your night
to tune in to this episode ofthe podcast.
Rather, if you're listening toit when it's released, a month
later, years later, I'm so gladthat you're here.
I appreciate you guys.
I appreciate you for giving meyour ear and allowing me to
(01:15):
speak truth and hope and justreality into your journey so
that you don't make all themistakes that I and so many of
my clients made for so long andtook so long to get it right.
You have the opportunity to skipa lot of that or at least
minimize it and benefit.
So so glad you guys are here atthe Live Transform Podcast.
(01:38):
I'm your host, Coach AdamMcKelly, and today, guess what,
guys?
Guess what?
We are starting a brand newseries that I think is gonna hit
home for a lot of you, okay?
Right for my people.
And that is rebuilding yourhealth after years of neglect.
Okay, so last series we justcame out of was Fat Loss After
40, the tools and how to do it,okay.
(01:59):
Basically, so that was all aboutfat loss specifically.
Now we're gonna talk aboutrebuilding your health, okay?
Your health is trashed.
Now it's time to rebuild.
So this series is for anyone whofeels like they've drifted,
they've struggled, or they flatout have given up on their
health at some point.
Okay, maybe now, maybe in thepast.
Maybe you've been caught incycles of dieting and quitting,
(02:22):
okay?
The yo-yo cycle.
Maybe life got busy, career,kids, stress, and health slid to
the back burner.
A lot of us start to notprioritize ourselves because we
have so many other obligationsin life, but that's a big
mistake.
Or maybe you've been throughpain or illness or trauma or
major injuries that left youfeeling like you've lost
(02:43):
yourself.
Okay.
And I can promise you, thereason I can speak on this, the
reason why I feel qualified tospeak on this is because I have
been in every one of those shoesthat I just mentioned, okay?
Been there, done that, have thereceipts, and here we are.
So I feel like I'm definitelyqualified to speak on this
subject.
So if that's you, if you fallinto this category and you're
(03:05):
like me, then hear me clearly.
You are not broken and you'renot too far gone.
You can begin again, okay?
If you are breathing air, if themost high has given you grace to
live another day, you can dosomething about your health.
I promise you.
I don't care where you're at.
You may not be able to undoeverything, you may not be able
(03:25):
to reverse certain things, butyou can make yourself better
than you are today.
That I can promise you.
So today's episode is about howto restart without burning out,
without drowning in shame, andwithout dragging the weight of
regret into your next chapter.
Starting with a freshperspective and a fresh
mentality.
Okay, this is so important,guys.
(03:46):
Please, please do not skip thisstep.
No matter what you do, startwith this episode.
Don't skip around, guys.
Start with this one because thisis setting the groundwork for
everything that is gonnatransform who you are.
Okay.
So this first part we're gonnatalk about is why shame and
regret keep you stuck.
Okay.
(04:06):
We're gonna just dig into thepain here, all right.
So we're gonna start herebecause this is where most
people live, all right, eithershort term or long term.
So when you've neglected yourhealth for a long time, it's
easy to beat yourself up, right?
I can't believe I've let it getthis bad, or I've failed so many
times.
Why even try again?
(04:27):
Or I used to be disciplined.
What happened to me?
Like we've all experienced thesefeelings, okay?
If you've been on this journeyfor any given time, especially
in a long term.
But here's the truth, all right?
Shame doesn't drive change, itparalyzes it, okay?
Shame is our enemy.
And the research backs this up.
(04:47):
So studies on self-compassionshow that people who forgive
themselves for slip-ups actuallyrecover faster and stick with
their goals longer than peoplewho punish themselves, all
right.
Shame all it does is it fuelsquitting, all right.
It is the fuel for quitting.
Self-compassion fuelsconsistency, it fuels getting
(05:09):
right back up and right back tothose things we know we need to
be doing.
And regret, all right, regretkeeps you living in the past.
You cannot get past it.
You replay old failures insteadof building new wins.
The longer you stare backwards,the less energy you have to move
forward.
Okay.
So we want to keep our eyes onthe prize, accept what was,
(05:31):
analyze what could have beendone better, but then move
forward.
Get out of the past and startliving the now, preparing for
the future.
Okay.
So here's the reframe (05:39):
your past attempts weren't wasted.
Okay, it was not a wash,regardless if it felt like it
was, it wasn't.
Why?
Because they were data points,especially if you did any kind
of tracking of anything duringthis period or those times.
Every failure taught yousomething.
(05:59):
What doesn't work, what triggersyou, what burns you out.
And now you get to use that datato build a smarter restart,
okay?
Learning from the past.
That's what makes the past not amistake.
That's why, you know, like theysay, you know, I don't take
losses, I take lessons.
If you turn your losses into alesson, it becomes a blessing.
(06:21):
Oh, I need to put that on ashirt.
That's good.
All right.
So, next up, the problem withthe all or nothing restart.
Okay, you guys have heard me.
If you've been following, ifyou've been listening to the
episodes, bless your heart.
Thank you.
If you've been following along,I've talked a lot about this all
or nothing mentality.
And it's always going to come upin discussions because it is one
of the biggest cripplers in oursociety.
(06:43):
So when most people finallydecide to restart, they go all
in, right?
A new diet, new workouts, newsupplements, new rules.
Day one looks like a completeoverhaul.
Okay.
And then what happens?
You tell me from yourexperience.
Okay, okay, you don't have totell me.
Let me just continue.
Two weeks later, they'reexhausted, they're hungry,
(07:05):
they're frustrated, and back atsquare one, restarting on Monday
again.
Why?
Because the all or nothingmindset sets you up to fail.
All right.
Life will always throwcurveballs, work deadlines,
family emergencies, travelstress.
If your plan can't bend, then itbreaks.
I've seen this a million times,just within myself, not even
(07:28):
with clients.
I've seen it with clients, buteven with myself, I've seen this
over and over again.
So, what works instead?
The always something approach,okay?
Always something instead of allor nothing.
So instead of I'll work out sixdays a week, that's my mistake
because my my neck, thesurgeries I've had, I can only
(07:48):
handle so much training perweek.
And I would train eight days aweek if my body would let me.
So sometimes I get comfortableand like things are feeling
good.
I'm like, hey, let me push it upand we'll go to six days per
week.
Always backfires.
So again, speaking fromexperience, but instead of
saying I'll work out six days aweek, a week, you could say, I'm
gonna move my body most days,even if it's just a 10-minute
(08:09):
walk.
Okay, having some sort ofstandard that's implemented.
Instead of I'll cut out allcarbs and sugar forever.
Say I'll focus on protein andwhole foods at most meals.
Guess what's gonna naturallyhappen?
You're gonna naturally startcutting out some of those
unnecessary carbs andunnecessary sugar because you're
(08:30):
focusing on the good things,okay?
Instead of I'll lose 30 poundsin 30 days, get beach ready a
month before.
Say, I'll commit to buildinghabits, I can still do a year
from now.
I'm not having to continuouslywork for my beach bod every
year.
I'm just gonna maintain ahealthy place.
So if anything, I just clean itup a little bit and I'm good to
(08:52):
go.
So here's a client example.
I'm not gonna name any nameshere, but here's a client
example for you, okay?
I've seen people start withnothing more than just a daily
walk and adding one source ofprotein at lunch.
All right.
That doesn't sound sexy, right?
Doesn't sound impressive,doesn't sound challenging at
all, doesn't even soundmotivating, but two months
(09:12):
later, they're down inches, theyhave more energy, and they trust
themselves again.
That's the power of small,consistent wins.
Okay, it's building yourself upto become something better.
Not just doing something in themeantime for a measly outcome in
a short amount of time.
Look, I know what it feels liketo be frustrated with your
(09:32):
health, trust me.
To feel like you're doingeverything right, but nothing
seems to be sticking.
That's why our coaching isn'tabout perfection.
It's about building a systemthat works even when life gets
messy.
At Transform Health Initiative,we help busy adults rebuild
their health, rewire theirhabits, and redefine their
identity without shame, withoutoverwhelm, and without starting
(09:54):
over every Monday.
If you're tired of trying to doit all on your own, we're here
when you're ready.
All right, back to the episode.
So the bottom line, guys, don'ttry to fix everything at once.
All right, focus on the nextdoable step.
Build momentum, let progresscompound, okay?
Better than yesterday.
1% better every day accumulatesto a large improvement over
(10:20):
time.
All right.
So next we're gonna look at aframework for restarting right.
Okay, now let's get somestructure.
Now we've talked about some ofthe negative.
Let's work on some applicationhere.
So, how you actually begin againin a way that lasts.
How do we do this, huh?
So here's the framework we useinside T Chai, and you can apply
(10:41):
this right now.
Okay, I'm giving you thesenuggets for free.
You better use it because Icharge a lot of money for what
I'm about to give you.
Okay, not a lot of money, but itis an investment.
You know, when you guys skin inthe game, tends to make us a
little bit more accountable whenwe actually have something to
lose.
But I want to help you guys outbecause you took the time to
listen in.
You guys are rocking with me, soI want to give you as much value
(11:03):
as I can.
So step number one is decide.
Okay, sounds simple, but let meexplain.
Number one is decide, notdabble, not try, not have good
intentions, but decide, okay?
Decide that your health isnon-negotiable.
And at this time, it's not aboutquick fixes, it's about
(11:25):
rebuilding your life.
Okay, this is non-negotiable,life or death, okay.
That doesn't mean all ornothing.
That means understanding thatyou've put this off for so long,
it's been a negotiable for solong that you're now deciding,
you know what, no matter whathappens, I am going to transform
one day at a time, one habit ata time, will you?
(11:46):
One habit per month, will you?
But I am going to change.
It is non-negotiable.
Step two is simplify.
Pick one or two anchors, okay?
Not trying to overall our wholelife in one day.
Pick one or two anchors (12:01):
sleep, protein, walking, lifting.
Don't stack 10 things at once,okay?
Simplicity is what preventsoverwhelm and burnout.
All right.
So if you're maybe you're doingone of these or a couple of
these, then add another one.
That that you're only adding onething that's new, regardless of
(12:22):
how many habits you already haveestablished.
Because the habits you haveestablished are easy, you know,
for the most part, becauseyou're used to it.
It's a habit.
You're not stacking a bunch atonce.
Pick one thing that you're gonnafocus on.
Okay.
I would say, out of all ofthese, I it if I'm coming from
doing nothing and I'm like acouch potato, and you know, my
(12:44):
life is is super sedentary, mydiet is horrible, everything is
off, my sleep, my everything isoff.
I'm probably gonna start withlifting.
Okay, now it may sound weird asit's like, whoa, shouldn't you
be working on your sleep or yourdiet or moving your body or
something?
Here's why I start with lifting.
Lifting lifting has an effect onbasically all things health.
(13:08):
Okay, so for example, when youcan build more muscle, boosts
your metabolism, burns morecalories, makes you stronger,
more resilient, you can movebetter, less pain, less
difficulty, less limitations,better mobility, better range of
motion, better flexibility, allthese benefits.
Um training helps you, helps toimprove sleep.
(13:32):
It can definitely help improvesleep.
Uh, it can get your body movingwithout having to feel like
you're doing cardio all day longor your feet are blistered up
from trying to get 10,000 stepsin when you only average a
thousand.
You can spend 30 minutes in thegym fairly easily, okay.
20 minutes even with withfocused, with focused,
(13:54):
purposeful exercise, purposefullifting.
Okay, so that's probably where Iwould start.
Protein is easy to follow withthat, you know, a lot of these
things, but you need to focus onwhere you're at, okay?
Regardless of what I say, focuson where you're at, simplify it,
pick one or two.
Number three is to stack wins,okay.
Once you're consistent with thefirst anchors, then add the
(14:16):
next.
And it could be a month, itcould be six months down the
rock down the line.
There's no need to rush this,guys.
You are building a foundation.
We all know that typically,well, we don't all know this,
but a lot of times withbuildings and houses, the
foundation can take the longesttime, all right?
Because there's there it has tobe exact, right?
It has to be strong, it has tobe firm, it has to be
(14:39):
unbreakable.
We need that foundation to besuper legit, as my daughter is
hooked on saying, legit rightnow.
But we want that foundationlegit, all right?
We don't want it cracking andbreaking and shifting and all
that.
So we spend more time buildingthe foundation because once
we've done that, then everyother step on top of that takes
(15:00):
way less time.
Like building mostly is justwaiting on supplies and permits
and stuff.
Once you got that foundationdown, everything else comes so
much quicker.
That's how it is with ourhealth.
So stack those wins, startsmall, add one, continue on,
make that become anon-negotiable, non-thought,
non-thinking habit, and then addanother one.
(15:23):
So success is addictive, guys.
When you prove to yourself thatyou can do one thing, you trust
yourself to do more.
This is self-efficacy.
This is the ability to believein yourself, hold yourself
accountable, and to accomplishthings on your own.
And it starts with being able todo one thing.
You show yourself that you canlive for six months.
Guess what?
It's gonna be a lot easier tobelieve that you can start
(15:44):
moving your body more, or thatyou can really fine-tune your
diet, or you can change this orchange that.
Every time that you do somethingand you show yourself that
you're capable, you start tobelieve in yourself more, and
that builds upon itself, that'scompounding interests.
And over time, that's what makesyou become somebody that's
completely unrecognizable, butyet you don't feel any different
(16:05):
because you're you're the sameperson.
You didn't overhaul everything,you just changed one thing at a
time until everything becamejust natural and your new
normal.
That's what we're after, that'swhat we help people with at THI.
That's why you should be workingwith us.
Okay, let I digress.
Let me calm down.
I get it passionate, guys.
I get passionate.
Let me calm down and continue onwith step number four, which is
(16:27):
expect imperfection.
May sound weird.
What?
Plan to fail?
No, but expect imperfection.
Okay, you are going to slip.
I don't care how much of a robotyou are, how consistent you are,
any of that, you're going toslip.
That doesn't mean that youfailed though, okay?
Big difference.
Progress isn't perfection, allright?
Perfection is a myth on thisside of eternity.
(16:50):
Progress isn't perfection, it'spersistence, okay?
Plan to miss some days, not planmissing days, like, okay, next
Tuesday, every Tuesday I'm gonnamiss just because you know, I'm
gonna fail anyways.
No, just know in your mind thatsome days you may miss.
You may get sick, you may getinjured, you know, you may have
(17:10):
to travel, you may have familyin town, you may have a kid
that's sick, you may have a kidhaving surgery, something's
going on that may throw off yourroutine, okay?
Holidays, whatever it may be.
Just know that that's going tohappen, okay?
The key is how you bounce backfrom that.
And when you know it's gonnahappen, you have a much higher
probability of bouncing backfrom that than people who just
(17:31):
think everything's gonna beperfect, and the moment that
it's not, they're like, crap,it's all a wash.
I failed, and here I am.
See, I can't do it, because theyhad expectations on themselves
that were never fair to beginwith, okay?
Do not expect perfection, expectprogress, all right?
Persistency, consistency.
That's the key, guys.
(17:52):
So this is the reset formula.
This is what we start with, withpeople, especially people who
are really just not in a goodplace and they they need to
overhaul, but we need to do itcorrectly.
We focus on decide, simplify,stack wins, expect imperfection.
Okay.
So think of it like building afire.
Here's another example.
You don't just dump a log pileand hope that it lights, right?
(18:15):
Just like, oh well, I put thewood there, surely it's got to
light up.
No, no, no, no, no.
You start with the kindling,right?
Then you have some small flames,then you add more fuel, and
before you know it, that fire isroaring.
But if you don't start with thebeginning, you don't set that
foundation properly, you don'tuse the kindling, you don't use
the fuel, you don't light thematch, you don't light the
(18:36):
lighter, you don't do thosethings, then having the best,
most elegant stack of wood, firepit, fire pile is not going to
do anything for you.
And that's what happens when wehave a perfect plan that would
work normally, but we haven'tset the groundwork.
We haven't, we haven't created abaseline, we haven't created the
foundation that's going to helpus to do that long enough or for
(19:00):
the rest of our lives so we keepreaping the benefits of that
plan.
Okay.
Super important, guys.
So here's the takeaway for theday.
I love to leave you guys with anugget.
Here it is.
If you're starting again afteryears of neglect, you don't need
shame, you don't need regret,and you don't need to punish
yourself with an extreme plan,okay?
You need compassion, you needsmall, consistent wins, and you
(19:23):
need a framework that buildstrust with yourself, okay?
Learning to trust yourselfbecause you live with yourself
24-7, all right?
You're only with your spouse somuch time, even if you're a
stay-at-home parent, you're onlywith your kids so much time,
you're only with family membersso much time, you're only with
your employees and yourcoworkers so much time.
You're with yourself everymoment of every day of your
(19:47):
life.
And being able to trust yourselfin your decision making, in your
discipline, in your habits is soempowering, guys.
Like literally, it is so it's adriving force to keep you locked
in and keep you progressing andgetting better for the rest of
your life.
Okay.
It is really that serious, it'sreally that big.
(20:08):
Because once you start stackingthose wins, guys, you're gonna
realize you're not startingover.
The starting over days are gone.
You're starting again, strongerand wiser than before.
You're better than you were lasttime, okay?
That is progress.
And if you want help building arestart plan that works in real
life, that's exactly what we doat Transform Health Initiative.
(20:30):
So when you're ready, we willhelp you live transformed.
But until next time, or untilthat time, until the final time,
do something good for yourself,something good for your health,
something good for those thatyou care about.
And whatever you do, make sureyou win on purpose.
Talk at you next time.
So, if that's you, if you fall into this category
and you're like me, then hear meclearly.
You are not broken and you'renot too far gone.
You can begin again.
Okay.
If you are breathing air, if themost high has given you grace to
live another day, you can dosomething about your health.
I promise you.
I don't care where you're at.
(00:20):
You may not be able to undoeverything.
You may not be able to reversecertain things, but you can make
yourself better than you aretoday.
That I can promise you.
SPEAKER_00 (00:29):
Welcome to Live Transformed, the podcast from
Transformed Health Initiative,where evidence-based truth meets
real life transformation.
Lead yourself, integrate health,value what matters, engage in
the process.
This is how you livetransformed.
And now here's your host, AdamKelly.
SPEAKER_01 (00:53):
What is up, my Live Transformed Family?
So glad you guys took time outof your day or out of your night
to tune in to this episode ofthe podcast.
Rather, if you're listening toit when it's released, a month
later, years later, I'm so gladthat you're here.
I appreciate you guys.
I appreciate you for giving meyour ear and allowing me to
(01:15):
speak truth and hope and justreality into your journey so
that you don't make all themistakes that I and so many of
my clients made for so long andtook so long to get it right.
You have the opportunity to skipa lot of that or at least
minimize it and benefit.
So so glad you guys are here atthe Live Transform Podcast.
(01:38):
I'm your host, Coach AdamMcKelly, and today, guess what,
guys?
Guess what?
We are starting a brand newseries that I think is gonna hit
home for a lot of you, okay?
Right for my people.
And that is rebuilding yourhealth after years of neglect.
Okay, so last series we justcame out of was Fat Loss After
40, the tools and how to do it,okay.
(01:59):
Basically, so that was all aboutfat loss specifically.
Now we're gonna talk aboutrebuilding your health, okay?
Your health is trashed.
Now it's time to rebuild.
So this series is for anyone whofeels like they've drifted,
they've struggled, or they flatout have given up on their
health at some point.
Okay, maybe now, maybe in thepast.
Maybe you've been caught incycles of dieting and quitting,
(02:22):
okay?
The yo-yo cycle.
Maybe life got busy, career,kids, stress, and health slid to
the back burner.
A lot of us start to notprioritize ourselves because we
have so many other obligationsin life, but that's a big
mistake.
Or maybe you've been throughpain or illness or trauma or
major injuries that left youfeeling like you've lost
(02:43):
yourself.
Okay.
And I can promise you, thereason I can speak on this, the
reason why I feel qualified tospeak on this is because I have
been in every one of those shoesthat I just mentioned, okay?
Been there, done that, have thereceipts, and here we are.
So I feel like I'm definitelyqualified to speak on this
subject.
So if that's you, if you fallinto this category and you're
(03:05):
like me, then hear me clearly.
You are not broken and you'renot too far gone.
You can begin again, okay?
If you are breathing air, if themost high has given you grace to
live another day, you can dosomething about your health.
I promise you.
I don't care where you're at.
You may not be able to undoeverything, you may not be able
(03:25):
to reverse certain things, butyou can make yourself better
than you are today.
That I can promise you.
So today's episode is about howto restart without burning out,
without drowning in shame, andwithout dragging the weight of
regret into your next chapter.
Starting with a freshperspective and a fresh
mentality.
Okay, this is so important,guys.
(03:46):
Please, please do not skip thisstep.
No matter what you do, startwith this episode.
Don't skip around, guys.
Start with this one because thisis setting the groundwork for
everything that is gonnatransform who you are.
Okay.
So this first part we're gonnatalk about is why shame and
regret keep you stuck.
Okay.
(04:06):
We're gonna just dig into thepain here, all right.
So we're gonna start herebecause this is where most
people live, all right, eithershort term or long term.
So when you've neglected yourhealth for a long time, it's
easy to beat yourself up, right?
I can't believe I've let it getthis bad, or I've failed so many
times.
Why even try again?
(04:27):
Or I used to be disciplined.
What happened to me?
Like we've all experienced thesefeelings, okay?
If you've been on this journeyfor any given time, especially
in a long term.
But here's the truth, all right?
Shame doesn't drive change, itparalyzes it, okay?
Shame is our enemy.
And the research backs this up.
(04:47):
So studies on self-compassionshow that people who forgive
themselves for slip-ups actuallyrecover faster and stick with
their goals longer than peoplewho punish themselves, all
right.
Shame all it does is it fuelsquitting, all right.
It is the fuel for quitting.
Self-compassion fuelsconsistency, it fuels getting
(05:09):
right back up and right back tothose things we know we need to
be doing.
And regret, all right, regretkeeps you living in the past.
You cannot get past it.
You replay old failures insteadof building new wins.
The longer you stare backwards,the less energy you have to move
forward.
Okay.
So we want to keep our eyes onthe prize, accept what was,
(05:31):
analyze what could have beendone better, but then move
forward.
Get out of the past and startliving the now, preparing for
the future.
Okay.
So here's the reframe (05:39):
your past attempts weren't wasted.
Okay, it was not a wash,regardless if it felt like it
was, it wasn't.
Why?
Because they were data points,especially if you did any kind
of tracking of anything duringthis period or those times.
Every failure taught yousomething.
(05:59):
What doesn't work, what triggersyou, what burns you out.
And now you get to use that datato build a smarter restart,
okay?
Learning from the past.
That's what makes the past not amistake.
That's why, you know, like theysay, you know, I don't take
losses, I take lessons.
If you turn your losses into alesson, it becomes a blessing.
(06:21):
Oh, I need to put that on ashirt.
That's good.
All right.
So, next up, the problem withthe all or nothing restart.
Okay, you guys have heard me.
If you've been following, ifyou've been listening to the
episodes, bless your heart.
Thank you.
If you've been following along,I've talked a lot about this all
or nothing mentality.
And it's always going to come upin discussions because it is one
of the biggest cripplers in oursociety.
(06:43):
So when most people finallydecide to restart, they go all
in, right?
A new diet, new workouts, newsupplements, new rules.
Day one looks like a completeoverhaul.
Okay.
And then what happens?
You tell me from yourexperience.
Okay, okay, you don't have totell me.
Let me just continue.
Two weeks later, they'reexhausted, they're hungry,
(07:05):
they're frustrated, and back atsquare one, restarting on Monday
again.
Why?
Because the all or nothingmindset sets you up to fail.
All right.
Life will always throwcurveballs, work deadlines,
family emergencies, travelstress.
If your plan can't bend, then itbreaks.
I've seen this a million times,just within myself, not even
(07:28):
with clients.
I've seen it with clients, buteven with myself, I've seen this
over and over again.
So, what works instead?
The always something approach,okay?
Always something instead of allor nothing.
So instead of I'll work out sixdays a week, that's my mistake
because my my neck, thesurgeries I've had, I can only
(07:48):
handle so much training perweek.
And I would train eight days aweek if my body would let me.
So sometimes I get comfortableand like things are feeling
good.
I'm like, hey, let me push it upand we'll go to six days per
week.
Always backfires.
So again, speaking fromexperience, but instead of
saying I'll work out six days aweek, a week, you could say, I'm
gonna move my body most days,even if it's just a 10-minute
(08:09):
walk.
Okay, having some sort ofstandard that's implemented.
Instead of I'll cut out allcarbs and sugar forever.
Say I'll focus on protein andwhole foods at most meals.
Guess what's gonna naturallyhappen?
You're gonna naturally startcutting out some of those
unnecessary carbs andunnecessary sugar because you're
(08:30):
focusing on the good things,okay?
Instead of I'll lose 30 poundsin 30 days, get beach ready a
month before.
Say, I'll commit to buildinghabits, I can still do a year
from now.
I'm not having to continuouslywork for my beach bod every
year.
I'm just gonna maintain ahealthy place.
So if anything, I just clean itup a little bit and I'm good to
(08:52):
go.
So here's a client example.
I'm not gonna name any nameshere, but here's a client
example for you, okay?
I've seen people start withnothing more than just a daily
walk and adding one source ofprotein at lunch.
All right.
That doesn't sound sexy, right?
Doesn't sound impressive,doesn't sound challenging at
all, doesn't even soundmotivating, but two months
(09:12):
later, they're down inches, theyhave more energy, and they trust
themselves again.
That's the power of small,consistent wins.
Okay, it's building yourself upto become something better.
Not just doing something in themeantime for a measly outcome in
a short amount of time.
Look, I know what it feels liketo be frustrated with your
(09:32):
health, trust me.
To feel like you're doingeverything right, but nothing
seems to be sticking.
That's why our coaching isn'tabout perfection.
It's about building a systemthat works even when life gets
messy.
At Transform Health Initiative,we help busy adults rebuild
their health, rewire theirhabits, and redefine their
identity without shame, withoutoverwhelm, and without starting
(09:54):
over every Monday.
If you're tired of trying to doit all on your own, we're here
when you're ready.
All right, back to the episode.
So the bottom line, guys, don'ttry to fix everything at once.
All right, focus on the nextdoable step.
Build momentum, let progresscompound, okay?
Better than yesterday.
1% better every day accumulatesto a large improvement over
(10:20):
time.
All right.
So next we're gonna look at aframework for restarting right.
Okay, now let's get somestructure.
Now we've talked about some ofthe negative.
Let's work on some applicationhere.
So, how you actually begin againin a way that lasts.
How do we do this, huh?
So here's the framework we useinside T Chai, and you can apply
(10:41):
this right now.
Okay, I'm giving you thesenuggets for free.
You better use it because Icharge a lot of money for what
I'm about to give you.
Okay, not a lot of money, but itis an investment.
You know, when you guys skin inthe game, tends to make us a
little bit more accountable whenwe actually have something to
lose.
But I want to help you guys outbecause you took the time to
listen in.
You guys are rocking with me, soI want to give you as much value
(11:03):
as I can.
So step number one is decide.
Okay, sounds simple, but let meexplain.
Number one is decide, notdabble, not try, not have good
intentions, but decide, okay?
Decide that your health isnon-negotiable.
And at this time, it's not aboutquick fixes, it's about
(11:25):
rebuilding your life.
Okay, this is non-negotiable,life or death, okay.
That doesn't mean all ornothing.
That means understanding thatyou've put this off for so long,
it's been a negotiable for solong that you're now deciding,
you know what, no matter whathappens, I am going to transform
one day at a time, one habit ata time, will you?
(11:46):
One habit per month, will you?
But I am going to change.
It is non-negotiable.
Step two is simplify.
Pick one or two anchors, okay?
Not trying to overall our wholelife in one day.
Pick one or two anchors (12:01):
sleep, protein, walking, lifting.
Don't stack 10 things at once,okay?
Simplicity is what preventsoverwhelm and burnout.
All right.
So if you're maybe you're doingone of these or a couple of
these, then add another one.
That that you're only adding onething that's new, regardless of
(12:22):
how many habits you already haveestablished.
Because the habits you haveestablished are easy, you know,
for the most part, becauseyou're used to it.
It's a habit.
You're not stacking a bunch atonce.
Pick one thing that you're gonnafocus on.
Okay.
I would say, out of all ofthese, I it if I'm coming from
doing nothing and I'm like acouch potato, and you know, my
(12:44):
life is is super sedentary, mydiet is horrible, everything is
off, my sleep, my everything isoff.
I'm probably gonna start withlifting.
Okay, now it may sound weird asit's like, whoa, shouldn't you
be working on your sleep or yourdiet or moving your body or
something?
Here's why I start with lifting.
Lifting lifting has an effect onbasically all things health.
(13:08):
Okay, so for example, when youcan build more muscle, boosts
your metabolism, burns morecalories, makes you stronger,
more resilient, you can movebetter, less pain, less
difficulty, less limitations,better mobility, better range of
motion, better flexibility, allthese benefits.
Um training helps you, helps toimprove sleep.
(13:32):
It can definitely help improvesleep.
Uh, it can get your body movingwithout having to feel like
you're doing cardio all day longor your feet are blistered up
from trying to get 10,000 stepsin when you only average a
thousand.
You can spend 30 minutes in thegym fairly easily, okay.
20 minutes even with withfocused, with focused,
(13:54):
purposeful exercise, purposefullifting.
Okay, so that's probably where Iwould start.
Protein is easy to follow withthat, you know, a lot of these
things, but you need to focus onwhere you're at, okay?
Regardless of what I say, focuson where you're at, simplify it,
pick one or two.
Number three is to stack wins,okay.
Once you're consistent with thefirst anchors, then add the
(14:16):
next.
And it could be a month, itcould be six months down the
rock down the line.
There's no need to rush this,guys.
You are building a foundation.
We all know that typically,well, we don't all know this,
but a lot of times withbuildings and houses, the
foundation can take the longesttime, all right?
Because there's there it has tobe exact, right?
It has to be strong, it has tobe firm, it has to be
(14:39):
unbreakable.
We need that foundation to besuper legit, as my daughter is
hooked on saying, legit rightnow.
But we want that foundationlegit, all right?
We don't want it cracking andbreaking and shifting and all
that.
So we spend more time buildingthe foundation because once
we've done that, then everyother step on top of that takes
(15:00):
way less time.
Like building mostly is justwaiting on supplies and permits
and stuff.
Once you got that foundationdown, everything else comes so
much quicker.
That's how it is with ourhealth.
So stack those wins, startsmall, add one, continue on,
make that become anon-negotiable, non-thought,
non-thinking habit, and then addanother one.
(15:23):
So success is addictive, guys.
When you prove to yourself thatyou can do one thing, you trust
yourself to do more.
This is self-efficacy.
This is the ability to believein yourself, hold yourself
accountable, and to accomplishthings on your own.
And it starts with being able todo one thing.
You show yourself that you canlive for six months.
Guess what?
It's gonna be a lot easier tobelieve that you can start
(15:44):
moving your body more, or thatyou can really fine-tune your
diet, or you can change this orchange that.
Every time that you do somethingand you show yourself that
you're capable, you start tobelieve in yourself more, and
that builds upon itself, that'scompounding interests.
And over time, that's what makesyou become somebody that's
completely unrecognizable, butyet you don't feel any different
(16:05):
because you're you're the sameperson.
You didn't overhaul everything,you just changed one thing at a
time until everything becamejust natural and your new
normal.
That's what we're after, that'swhat we help people with at THI.
That's why you should be workingwith us.
Okay, let I digress.
Let me calm down.
I get it passionate, guys.
I get passionate.
Let me calm down and continue onwith step number four, which is
(16:27):
expect imperfection.
May sound weird.
What?
Plan to fail?
No, but expect imperfection.
Okay, you are going to slip.
I don't care how much of a robotyou are, how consistent you are,
any of that, you're going toslip.
That doesn't mean that youfailed though, okay?
Big difference.
Progress isn't perfection, allright?
Perfection is a myth on thisside of eternity.
(16:50):
Progress isn't perfection, it'spersistence, okay?
Plan to miss some days, not planmissing days, like, okay, next
Tuesday, every Tuesday I'm gonnamiss just because you know, I'm
gonna fail anyways.
No, just know in your mind thatsome days you may miss.
You may get sick, you may getinjured, you know, you may have
(17:10):
to travel, you may have familyin town, you may have a kid
that's sick, you may have a kidhaving surgery, something's
going on that may throw off yourroutine, okay?
Holidays, whatever it may be.
Just know that that's going tohappen, okay?
The key is how you bounce backfrom that.
And when you know it's gonnahappen, you have a much higher
probability of bouncing backfrom that than people who just
(17:31):
think everything's gonna beperfect, and the moment that
it's not, they're like, crap,it's all a wash.
I failed, and here I am.
See, I can't do it, because theyhad expectations on themselves
that were never fair to beginwith, okay?
Do not expect perfection, expectprogress, all right?
Persistency, consistency.
That's the key, guys.
(17:52):
So this is the reset formula.
This is what we start with, withpeople, especially people who
are really just not in a goodplace and they they need to
overhaul, but we need to do itcorrectly.
We focus on decide, simplify,stack wins, expect imperfection.
Okay.
So think of it like building afire.
Here's another example.
You don't just dump a log pileand hope that it lights, right?
(18:15):
Just like, oh well, I put thewood there, surely it's got to
light up.
No, no, no, no, no.
You start with the kindling,right?
Then you have some small flames,then you add more fuel, and
before you know it, that fire isroaring.
But if you don't start with thebeginning, you don't set that
foundation properly, you don'tuse the kindling, you don't use
the fuel, you don't light thematch, you don't light the
(18:36):
lighter, you don't do thosethings, then having the best,
most elegant stack of wood, firepit, fire pile is not going to
do anything for you.
And that's what happens when wehave a perfect plan that would
work normally, but we haven'tset the groundwork.
We haven't, we haven't created abaseline, we haven't created the
foundation that's going to helpus to do that long enough or for
(19:00):
the rest of our lives so we keepreaping the benefits of that
plan.
Okay.
Super important, guys.
So here's the takeaway for theday.
I love to leave you guys with anugget.
Here it is.
If you're starting again afteryears of neglect, you don't need
shame, you don't need regret,and you don't need to punish
yourself with an extreme plan,okay?
You need compassion, you needsmall, consistent wins, and you
(19:23):
need a framework that buildstrust with yourself, okay?
Learning to trust yourselfbecause you live with yourself
24-7, all right?
You're only with your spouse somuch time, even if you're a
stay-at-home parent, you're onlywith your kids so much time,
you're only with family membersso much time, you're only with
your employees and yourcoworkers so much time.
You're with yourself everymoment of every day of your
(19:47):
life.
And being able to trust yourselfin your decision making, in your
discipline, in your habits is soempowering, guys.
Like literally, it is so it's adriving force to keep you locked
in and keep you progressing andgetting better for the rest of
your life.
Okay.
It is really that serious, it'sreally that big.
(20:08):
Because once you start stackingthose wins, guys, you're gonna
realize you're not startingover.
The starting over days are gone.
You're starting again, strongerand wiser than before.
You're better than you were lasttime, okay?
That is progress.
And if you want help building arestart plan that works in real
life, that's exactly what we doat Transform Health Initiative.
(20:30):
So when you're ready, we willhelp you live transformed.
But until next time, or untilthat time, until the final time,
do something good for yourself,something good for your health,
something good for those thatyou care about.
And whatever you do, make sureyou win on purpose.
Talk at you next time.
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