Crossing the Bridge from Social Fear to Empowerment

Send us a text

Ever found yourself surrounded by a sea of faces at a networking event, your heart racing, palms sweating, unsure of how to bridge the gap between professional ambition and personal comfort? That's the tightrope I walked at the Behind Her Brand Conference in Dallas, Texas, and I'm thrilled to share the insights from this game-changing experience. As I, Shannon Martin, recount my journey alongside my dear friend Janis, we uncover the vibrant fusion of camaraderie and empowerment among a group of inspiring women. This episode is more than a story; it's a lesson in rediscovering the joy of connection while confronting the ghosts of social trepidations past.

During our intimate and candid discussion, we explore the complexities of maintaining personal well-being amid the buzz of professional engagement. I dissect the lingering impact of scars left by my first business venture and how they unwittingly followed me into present-day interactions. This is an episode for anyone who’s ever felt like an introvert in a world that celebrates extroverts, for the entrepreneurs who question the cost of networking on their inner peace. With heartfelt reflection and a few laughs along the way, Janice and I tackle the transformative journey of stepping out of our comfort zones. Join us for an empowering conversation that just might reshape the way you navigate your next networking event or social gathering.

Thank you for tuning in to today’s episode of This Thing Called Wellness. If it spoke to you, please share it with someone who needs a little encouragement—and don’t forget to rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, YouTube, or wherever you listen. Your support helps others find our community and fuels the heart behind every conversation. 💚

Stay connected and join the conversation:
📸 Instagram: @thisthingcalledwellness_
📘 Facebook: @shannondmartin
📧 Email: [e-mail]
🎙️ Podcast Page: podcast.thisthingcalledwellness.com
💌 Newsletter & Wellness Tools: thisthingcalledwellness.com

💬 Enjoyed the episode or have a question?
Send us a quick text message using the link in the description! I might give you a shoutout or share your question in a future episode. I’d love to hear what’s resonating with you. ✨

Join the newsletter for gentle inspiration, healing support, and tools that help you heal, empower, and connect—right from the heart.

We appreciate you more than you know—let’s keep growing together. 🌿

Episode Transcript

Shannon D Martin (00:00):
Hell Beautiful Welcome to today's conversation
where we're going to talk aboutgetting out, socializing and
networking while protecting yourpeace.
Let's talk about it.
I am your host, Shannon Martinand Welcome to today's episode
of this Thing Called Wellness.
Hello and welcome back.
I hope you are doing well onthis Wellness Wednesday.

(00:21):
I am still recuperated from ourtrip to Dallas.
Well, on this WellnessWednesday, I am still
recuperating from our trip toDallas.
I attended the Behind Her BrandConference and it has been a
long time since I have beenoutside y'all networking with
other positive women and soakingup information and
fellowshipping.
And the best thing about it wasthat my girl went with me.
I was so excited to see hery'all.
We spent the weekend togetherlaughing, catching up on each

(00:44):
other's lives and really justtalking about what we wanted to
gain from the next couple ofdays.
We were talking about where wewere in our entrepreneur lives,
you know, and just stuff likethat, you know, catching up.
The night before and reallybefore I left, I couldn't sleep.
I didn't know what I wanted togain from the conference or
anything like that.
I just decided that I was goingin being a sponge and just

(01:12):
letting it do what it do,because I'm also working with
the host that gave theconference.
I work for the magazine Behindthe Brand magazine, so I knew
most of the ladies that werethere, but I never met them in
person.
I only know them, you know,behind the scenes.
So this was great to get toknow them and say hi, meet them
in person and just give them agood old hug.

(01:34):
And I was also going to myhometown, Dallas, Texas.
As time went on and we were onour breaks, I started to feel a
little closed off.
It had nothing to do with whatwas going on.
It was an amazing atmospheregreat conversation, laughter.
The speakers were amazing andpreaching some great things.

(01:56):
I just caught myself being abit reserved.
So later that evening I satdown and I talked to my friend,
janice, who was there with me,and I told her how I was feeling
.
And that evening I sat downwith my emotions.
I was really beginning to seeand noticing that I was
beginning to shut down,beginning to set back, and I was

(02:19):
feeling tired and I was kind oftuning out.
And I didn't understand why.
Because this was such a greattime for me.
I was traveling, I was meetingnew people, I had my bestie with
me, and you know why was Ifeeling this way?
But as I was talking to myfriend, I realized that I was
thinking about past events, pastthings that left a scar that I

(02:43):
didn't know was still there andit really left a bad taste in my
mouth for networking andsocializing.
And I didn't even know that Istill had that and was carrying
that with me, and this has beenabout over five years ago.
So I didn't even know why thatwas still there.
But I said, okay, so this iswhat is going on.

(03:06):
Let me really dig deep into it.
So years ago when I firststarted my first business, it
was in gifting and so I startednetworking.
I really didn't know what itwas.
I was very green with it and alady introduced me to how to
network here in Georgia and so Istarted to network and just

(03:28):
really get into it.
And this was at the beginningof when I just was beginning to
heal from my breakdown.
So I was getting out theregetting the word out about my
business and just jumped in.
So I just wanted to learn andwanted to get to know other

(03:49):
businesses and just get to knowmeet people.
But what I was beginning tonotice is that a couple of times
I should have left these events.
They weren't healthy for me,they weren't good for me and I
just should have been better atprotecting myself.
Don't let others make you feelsomething.

(04:11):
You are not Anonymous.
At one particular event I wentto, they did a thing called
speed networking.
Now, I'm an introvert, right,so I really didn't want to have
anything to do with it.
But I said, okay, you know, I'ma businesswoman, let me get
into my CEO Mindset, let me getout of my comfort zone anything
to do with it.
But I said, ok, you know I'm abusinesswoman, let me get into
my CEO mindset, let me get outof my comfort zone and let me
try it.
But it was horrible and I wouldnot sign up for anything like

(04:32):
that again.
But what was happening as I wasswitching from person to person
and I was explaining to themwhat I was doing at the time,
which was gifting, and I know Iexplained myself well.
They were thing, and I know Iexplained myself well.
They were giving me thisperplexed look like they didn't
understand what I was talkingabout.
What is that?
You know, like, what are youdoing?
Why would you do that?
What made you go into that andyou know all these things and

(04:54):
you know, and also at otherevents, um, other people were
were suggesting that I dodifferent things with it.
I would go in a different way.
You know that's not reallytangible.
So why don't you do like Inoticed someone's not really
tangible.
So why don't you do like Inoticed someone?
They did like a coupon basket.
Why don't you do that?
And you know, go into differentmarkets and have this.
What the heck are you talkingabout?
That was nothing that I hadenvisioned for my business, just

(05:17):
insane stuff like that.
So I just said you know what,that's okay.
So I kept going on with, with myspill and kept having those
doubtful things.
So by the time we finished andwe were on the break, I was
beginning to doubt myself.
I was beginning to doubt thatthis was a viable business, all
those things.
I was beginning to feel it andI began to feel small and I

(05:39):
began to withdraw and shut down.
Now, at this time, I stilldidn't know how to handle my all
of these things because it wasstill new to I.
Still didn't know how to handleall of these things because it
was still new to me.
I didn't know how to snap outof it.
So what I did was I just walkedaway and I found myself in this
little corner and I was lookingat this great little marketing.
It was an old fashionedCoca-Cola bottle with the name
of the conference on it right.

(06:00):
And all of a sudden this ladywalked up to me and she said
I've been looking for you, youknow, and it must have been my
angel watching out for me.
And she said I know what you'redoing.
Don't let these people doubtwhat you're doing, because
they're not really trying tounderstand it.
They're not even asking youquestions of what it is you do.

(06:23):
So don't let that hinder youfor continuing on your path.
And the thing is, y'all I knowit's a viable business.
I've gone to conferences to getbetter at that craft, to
understand it and to know how tomake it a viable business.
I've met women who make thisbusiness into millions of
dollars, so why was I allowingthese people to make me feel

(06:47):
less than so She gave me hercard and she said if you need
anything for me, because I waskind of like what she worked in.
She was like an agency or hadan agency or something like that
.
And after that that was justlike my confirmation of saying
you know what, I think this isit for me.
So I didn't do any morenetworking in my area for years.

(07:08):
So this was like the first timein like years about six years I
had ever went to an event.
So all of that I think itbrought up all those emotions
for me.
So I sat with that for onenight.
We had another day.
So I said to myself the nextday I'm going to reset myself.

(07:29):
So I went back to theconference the next day.
I got up that morning, listenedto my praise music and I just
realized that I was imposingthose past experiences onto this
event and it wasn't fair to thepositive experiences I was
feeling that day.
It had nothing to do with whatwas happening in Dallas, that
happened here in Georgia.
Texas had nothing to do withthat.

(07:50):
This whole space was light andairy and everyone was just
supporting and loving oneveryone else.
So it wasn't making any senseto me.
So I just said you know what?
Let me just tune into what isgoing on now.
And as the speakers were talking, you know the speakers talked
about having front row peoplesupport you in all that you do.
Those will speak the truth toyou and be there for you, no

(08:12):
matter what you know.
And I looked around and theywere there at the conference.
One was with me there.
She came from North Carolina tobe there with me.
She's always been mycheerleader.
There are ladies in that roomthat pray for me, that are there
for me with my support, me, mydream, my goals.
They've also supported me doingmy podcast, so I know that

(08:34):
that's not the same as here.
Right Another speaker talkedabout being a middle woman,
meaning referring people toother people or helping you
reach your goals, your dreams.
Those ladies were also in thatroom.
Right Another speaker talkedabout being where your feet are.

(08:55):
I wasn't being where my feetwere at that time for like short
periods of time because I washaving those flashbacks of here.
So once I reassessed myemotions and I reset, I came
back.
I planted my feet right where Iwas and I was in that moment
and where I needed to be andwhat I needed to hear.
The messages I needed to hearwere there and where I needed to

(09:17):
be and what I needed to hear.
The messages I needed to hearwere there.
I was able to hear it because Ijust had to reset myself and
say, girl, you're going to besitting right here and you're
going to hear these messagesthat you need to hear today.
And I heard them all.
And lastly, one speaker talkedabout your core values and your
non-negotiables, and that hit melike a ton of bricks Because if
I had my non-negotiables backthen, I would have walked out of

(09:39):
a lot of events back then andkept my inner peace.
I was allowing others' opinionsand values to be pushed out for
me without my knowing it,making me feel small and
undervalued.
I'm so glad that I was in thatroom at that time, meeting the
women that I needed to meet.
I feel so lighter now.
It's hard to explain, but Ifeel like the James Brown.

(10:01):
I feel good.
You know I'm in a better placeand I can feel it.
I'm catching those thoughts andemotions and ideas that kept me
from being present and I'mloving this.
I know that I'm healing.
It's taken me some time, but Iknow that I'm healing.
Have you had those some time,but I know that I'm healing.
Have you had those moments whereyou felt out of sorts and
didn't understand why You'relooking around like?

(10:21):
This is such a wonderful time.
Why am I not enjoying myself?
Why do I feel exhausted all ofa sudden?
Make sure to take the time tosit with yourself and ask
yourself why Keep askingyourself?
Why Journal it out if you haveto, but get it out until you
find the solution, like I did,and then reset yourself, set

(10:42):
your feet and be in that momentbecause you're there for
whatever.
That reason is Mindful Momentwhen you find yourself in a
situation where someone ismaking you feel something you
are not, especially if it's atan event or something social
where you have the power toleave.
Leave.
Be like me staying because youpaid for the event parking.

(11:05):
You know all that stuff thatcomes with it.
Staying to get photos andstaying to get to know people
which, in that situation, theyprobably didn't really want to
get to know me anyway.
During this time, I bought somuch stuff, y'all.
I bought books I haven't evenread yet.
I won free things.
I don't even know if it'shelpful to me, not even sure if

(11:25):
it would work for me.
Anyway, I was placing myselfinto rooms that weren't meant
for me, but they were Meant forme to learn how not to treat
people.
Meant for me to learn how notto treat people.
These rooms were meant for me toknow what to look for in people
who don't have my best interestat heart and will never be my
front row people.

(11:45):
These rooms show me that noteveryone is going to be or has
it in them to be the middlemanor middlewoman.
These rooms taught me to bewhere my feet are planted and
that I am enough.
You are enough.
We only feel small or somethingelse when we allow ourselves to
make us feel this way.
Know your core values, what youwant bend on, and stand tall in

(12:10):
them.
You have come a long way, girl,to let anyone make you feel any
kind of way.
Know when you are not wellenough to be in a space and be
strong enough to leave.
Don't people please leave.
Protect your peace at all costsand remember to smile.
That's half the battle.
Love you, girl.
Thank you for joining me.

(12:33):
I hope you found value intoday's conversation when we
talked about getting out,socializing and networking while
protecting your peace.
I'm your host, Shannon Martin.
Be sure to join us nextWednesday.
We will hold another discussionabout protecting our peace.
Until then, stay healthy andwell, take care.
If you enjoyed today's episode,please take a moment to rate and

(12:56):
review the show on ApplePodcasts or wherever you listen.
It really helps new listenersfind us and join our wellness
community.
Don't forget to stay connectedwith us all across our social
media platforms and share withyour friends.
We've got plenty of excitingthings in store, so be sure to
join us on this journey towardsa healthier, more vibrant you.
Thanks for tuning in.

(13:18):
Disclaimer I am not a licensedmental health professional.
The information provided hereis for general informational
purposes only.
It should not be considered asubstitute for professional
mental health advice, diagnosisor treatment.
If you need help, pleaseconsult a qualified mental
health advice, diagnosis ortreatment.
If you need help, pleaseconsult a qualified mental

(13:40):
health professional.