Embracing the Winds of Change for Personal Revival

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Navigating life's storms takes more than just weathering them; it requires a transformation that I, have lived through. From managing the upheaval of transitioning from stay-at-home mom to entrepreneur during a period of illness, to finding solace in the midst of grief, this episode is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the journey towards self-restoration. I'm candid about the strategies that fortified me, such as the therapeutic power of journaling and the vitality of a robust support network. Hear about the moments that demanded I embrace the uncomfortable and seek strength in stillness and prayer, as I share the guiding steps toward reclaiming one's sense of self.

This heart-to-heart conversation extends an open invitation for anyone seeking guidance through their own tangled paths. I emphasize the importance of both physical and mental health, particularly when the appetite for life wanes during personal hardships. The episode is a beacon for those looking to anchor themselves with professional advice while also finding peace within through self-reflection. Join me as we affirm the importance of pausing to re-center, the courage needed to pursue new life directions, and the power of support from loved ones and professionals alike—may this be the compass you need in your own journey toward mental wellness and self-empowerment.

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Episode Transcript

Shannon D Martin (00:00):
Hello, beautiful Welcome to today's
conversation where we're goingto talk about self-restoration.
Let's talk about it.
I'm your host, Shannon Martin,and welcome to today's episode
of this Thing Called Wellness.
Welcome back, everyone.
I hope you have been having awonderful start to your week and

(00:22):
you are doing well.
I've been doing life as good asI can.
And today I wanted to talkabout something that has been on
my mind and I think I've kindof felt it for for a great while
now and I haven't really doneanything about it.

(00:42):
But it's about beingcomfortable.
You know, something happenedthat I really can't disclose,
but something happened where itshook me to my core.
And I began to think about IfI'm comfortable where I am, if

(01:03):
I'm comfortable in my life,meaning the position in my life,
meaning like having the time tosit and think about what I want
to do, like talking to you all,for instance, and simply how I
want to move about my day,because, as I've said before, I
was a stay-at-home mom.
So my life was really hecticand chaotic and interesting

(01:28):
because it was all about thekids, it was all about their
lives, all about making surethat I was volunteering and
eating lunch, dinners, all thethings.
And then as they began to getolder and my mom began to get
older, it became more of acaregiver role, along with some

(01:49):
duties, because I still had myyoungest at home.
And, of course, during theearlier part of my marriage, I
was married to a militarysoldier, and when you're married
to, you're married to themilitary.
I was a soldier as well, butwhen I got out I was still in
the military with this person.
So my life back then was busy.

(02:12):
So now I'm in a space where I'mhealing and recovering and
looking to renew myself.
I'm going into myentrepreneurial space.
I do have a position that Iwork.
So I'm in this place where Ican maneuver my time if you will

(02:39):
, and I'm working on making aschedule for myself, because
I've been kind of floating for awhile with my illness and I
being empty nesters.
I really haven't had a need fora schedule.
My husband's job is demandingand I can pretty much have I

(03:04):
don't want to say free reign,but kind of.
So when this incident happened,it kind of shook me.
My livelihood was threatenedand I just sat there like what
is really going on here?
God, why is this happening now?
And part of it?
I just didn't understand it andat the time I was sick, which

(03:27):
is why I didn't record last weekbecause I really I sounded like
I had a bug in my throat,because it was horrible.
I don't know what's goingaround, but I caught it.
And then when this happened, Iwas having panic attacks back to
back and it seemed like I justcould not.
So that's when I remembered theepisode I was going to talk

(03:50):
about was self-restoration,which is really ironic, because
I needed to go into that mode.
I had to go intoself-restoration mode and I had
to slow down this train wreckbefore it totally goes off rails
and I'm in the emergency roomand maybe I have to check myself
in somewhere, and I had to stop.

(04:12):
I had to stop and so, as I wassitting there, I was saying to
myself you know, I'm veryprivate about certain things,
except for the things that Ishare with you guys, because I'm
pretty transparent ineverything, especially when it
comes to my mental health, myjourney, what's going on in my
life, because it's life and thisis me beginning to walk this

(04:38):
wellness journey.
So when this happened, I justhad to pause.
I had to go into restorationmode, and I know this has
happened to you and in parts ofyour life.
And so the first thing I didwas I went to sleep and I woke

(05:01):
up and I began to pray, and Isaid well, let me talk to my
friends and I don't like to tellmy business, because when you
tell your business to people, itgets out of hand.
But I'm at a later stage in mylife and the friends that I have
now were not like the peoplethat I had before.

(05:21):
Thank God for that, becausethere is so much more
understanding, so much morespiritual and so much more.
Not really trying to get to knoweverything, but just asking how
are you?
First of all, how are youhandling this?
How's your health?
What are you doing?
Do I need to come over there?
Do you need any money?
What is it that you need?

(05:41):
I'm listening.
So I talked to them about thatand I'm so glad I did, because
it relieved a lot of pressureand stress and worry for me.
Next, I talked to my childrenand they were so supportive and
keep your head up, mom, bestrong, we're here to support

(06:01):
you whichever way we can andfamily members who've gone
through things like that.
I've talked to them as well andthat support is what I needed
to hear.
So when I stopped and I said,okay, let me talk to family, but
before that I pulled out myjournal and I did a post about

(06:24):
this, because I needed tojournal, I needed to get all
those emotions, all thosefeelings, all the anger, all the
shame, all the whatever it wasthat was going on in my head and
in my mind, because I'm one ofthose people that I'm always in
my head is what the counselortold me.
You're always in your head, soyou need to journal.

(06:46):
And if you're one of thosepeople that is always in your
head, you need to find a way toget it out of your head Because
if not, it's going to continueto make you ill.
So I journaled, I pulled out mydevotionals and I went down
each devotional and I prayed andI journaled.
And it wasn't a typical dearjournal type of thing, because

(07:09):
when I journal somehow, as Ialways say, I always start out
with Lord, help me, lord, thisis how the day went.
My journal always ends up whereI'm talking to God, somehow,
always talking to him aboutwhat's going on with the day and
this particular journal.
I just had to ask him God, whatare you showing me now?

(07:31):
What is this point in my lifenow?
Why is this happening now?
What are you showing me?
And I believe when I sat therebecause I've been in silence and
by myself for a while, as Ilaid in bed for that week
because it took everything outof me, I said you need to be

(07:52):
silent, you need to listen.
And I said, God, you're shakingme out of my comfort zone.
I have been comfortable withjust being that.
I didn't check what I wanted todo.
Everybody always asks you wheredo you see yourself in five
years?
I never gave it any thoughtbecause I never really thought

(08:16):
about where do I see myself infive years, because I always
just thought I see myself herein this one spot, being a mother
, being a wife, being right.
Of course I have my business,endeavors and that, but what if
that didn't happen?
Or what if something elsehappens?
And I have to put that to theside.

(08:37):
I always knew that I would bethese two things, so I always
put myself in that box of justbeing those two things a mom and
a wife.
I never thought about what Iwanted.
I never thought about what elsedo I want to strive for.
I never thought about beingmore independent.

(08:57):
I never thought about any ofthat.
It was in the back of my mind.
But I was comfortable and Isaid, Lord, this is meant to
shake me, to realize that youhave to get uncomfortable to be
comfortable with who you are.
I didn't know that it was goingto take this to do that, so I

(09:21):
sat down and I journaled moreand I just kept asking the
questions so what else are youshowing me?
I was talking to my dad and hesaid once again do you remember
how strong your mother was?
Do you remember how strong shewas?
You are her child and you standup on your feet and you be

(09:44):
strong.
You are her child.
And through this whole time Iknew that God was leading me and
I was being led by my mother'sprayers.
She was leading me somehow andthat I was going to be okay.
It hurts, but I was going to beokay.
And he said if you ever need me, you know where I am, call me,

(10:07):
I'm here for you.
So, too, I journaled, read mydevotionals, been closer to my
God to understand what this is,and now I know what it is.
It's to get me to the placewhere he's trying to get me.
And then I rested.
I simply rested.
I know that's not helpful atall, but I rested.

(10:28):
I took my medication and I atehealthy.
I really wasn't hungry anyway.
So I ate my salads and I atelight things, because I wasn't
hungry and I just couldn'treally eat, but I made sure I
stayed hydrated.
I made sure that I ate.
My friends checked on me everyday, two, three times a day,

(10:49):
making sure I was okay.
Do I need to come get you?
How you doing, girl?
So I rested, and sometimes youneed to rest.
I was still sitting there, justin quiet.
The TV was silent and I wouldjust lay there and pray and cry
and just continue to say, Lord,guide my steps in this next

(11:11):
process, this next phase of thelife you're getting me prepared
for, because my mind was alwaysjust racing.
This made it stop.
This made it pause for a moment.
This made me think about myfuture, not someone else's, not
the children's, not my mother's,not anyone else's, but MY

(11:35):
future.
It made me ask myself what do Iwant?
What do I need?
What do I desire?
And I never gave that anythought.
I was just floating through lifethese last 11 years in my
illness, and it's no fault ofanything, no fault of mine, no
fault of nothing.
It is what it is.

(11:57):
I was sick for a very long time.
I could not function wellwithin that time period.
I was numb to everything.
And this situation has awakenedme.
It has shaken my pores.
It's just like it's oozing outof me now.

(12:20):
It's to the point where I don'teven cry anymore the tears.
Remember Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam, the song I'm all cried out.
I'm all cried out because Idon't need to cry anymore.
I know the reason, Lord.
I know the reason now why thisis happening.
I know what you're showing me.
I know the reason why I had togo back into self-restoration.

(12:44):
I know the reason why I had torest.
I know the reason why now Ihave to do and I'm going to need
your help because it's going tobe hard, but I know that I
needed it.
Now, mentally, I'm going to haveto still monitor my wellness.
I'm going to have to do thethings that I have to do because

(13:04):
I'm still fragile, you know,still there.
But it's okay, I'm aware of it.
Now I am in tune with it.
Now I can feel it coming up andI know how to kind of contain
it better.
I know the steps I need to do.
And when I know that those stepsaren't working, okay, what's

(13:26):
the next thing I got to do?
The breathing isn't helping,which it usually does.
Okay, let me go downstairs andget some tea.
Okay, let me move around alittle bit, which I did.
I did some laundry, made mylittle breakfast, sat around,
listened to my worship music andI was just in tune with myself
for the first time in years, inyears y'all.

(13:49):
I was in tune with myself in thequiet.
Everything was off in the house, nothing was on, it was just me
and God, and I sat in mysilence and I asked him to
continue to show me what youneed to show me and guide me,
because I'm going to need it.
I'm going to need your strength, I'm going to need your courage

(14:10):
.
I'm going to need all of thosethings and help me pivot the way
I need to pivot.
So when you find yourself inthis position that's something
that's so hard.
Be it grief, be it whatever itis.
That's life-changing.
Pause.
Pray, if you're a believer,Pray.

(14:36):
Talk people that you can confidein, that won't tell your
business, that won't have all ofyour information out there in
the streets, because I've had tohappen to me before where I
told one person that I thought Iwas confiding in and by the
time I looked up, the wholefamily knew, the other family
knew, everybody knew.
Told one person.
I was trying to think that thatperson had my back.
So confide in someone thatreally has your back, that

(15:00):
really is a supporter, that hassupport of you.
If you're a person that's inyour head, like me journal, walk
, put it inside your phone.
If you have a phone we carry,carry it all the time lock it so
no one can get into it.
They don't need to see whatyou're talking about.
Lock that bad boy up, butsometimes I do that.

(15:21):
If I have things I need to do,I'll write it down inside of my
phone and I lock it and no onecan see but me I'm a paper and
pen girl, and I like to doodleand all the stuff.
Sometimes the phone works justfine.
And the third thing rest.
People can say what they want.
Are you still in the bed?
I sure am.
I sure am, and I'm going tostay here until I'm ready to get

(15:42):
up.
And I stayed in that bed for awhole week and I medicated and I
prayed and I slept, and now I'mon to the next step, whatever
that is, but I'm better for it,because now I'm able to face it
with a clear head, a clear mindand a peace within my spirit.

(16:03):
When I used to see that phraseall the time all is well within
or peace within, however thatphrase went.
I have peace, all is wellwithin my soul.
I am at peace with myself.
What do I got to lose?
What else can do?

(16:23):
So make sure that you're payingattention to yourself, that
you're loving on yourself, thatyou're taking action and that
you're doing yourself-restoration when it is time
to do that.
Sometimes we have so many thingsgoing on that we just really
can't see it, but it's importantto do so, because I was able to

(16:47):
rest for that week because Ihad no one here.
Some of us aren't able to dothat, but try to take that time
out, because if you don't, yourbody's going to make you do it.
So be well, my friends, andwe'll be back next Wednesday.
You believe it's already almostMay, my word to thee.
Time is flying by and it is notwaiting for no one.

(17:08):
So we will be back next weekwith a different topic.
And stay well and thank you fortuning into this conversation
with me, and if you enjoyed thisconversation today, please like
it on Apple Podcast andwherever you listen to, and I'm

(17:29):
also on on the social media atShannon D Wellness, and I will
have a newsletter coming outsoon because I need to find a
way of asking you what you wantto listen to.
I need to be better in tunewith you, to ask you what you
like, what you want to hear,because I have some things
coming up that I want to do withthe podcast, but I want to make

(17:52):
sure that is in line with whatmy listeners are wanting to hear
.
So that will be coming out soon, hopefully by the end of this
month, so that I can start itout in May and you can know
what's going on and we can keepthings growing.
But I do have a lot of ideas,but I also want to share that.

(18:15):
So be tuned into my socialmedia.

Speaker 1 (18:16):
I do plan to have some things coming out to talk
about those things as well, so Ihope you have a wonderful day
or evening, wherever you are,and, um yeah, see you next
Wednesday.
Love girl, bye-bye.
Disclaimer I am not a licensedmental health professional.

(18:38):
The information provided hereis for general informational
purposes only.
It should not be considered asubstitute for professional
mental health advice, diagnosisor treatment.
If you need help, pleaseconsult a qualified mental
health professional.