What’s Really Behind Our Need to Control?
We all like to think we’ve got it together… until life throws a curveball, and suddenly we’re trying to control everything around us. In this episode of This Way Up, I chat with Kati Morton, LMFT — licensed therapist, bestselling author, and mental health educator — about why control feels so necessary, how it shows up in our relationships, and what it’s really trying to protect.
We dig into the ways control can sneak into parenting, friendships, romantic relationships, and even our daily routines. Kati shares how to spot controlling behaviors in ourselves and others, practical strategies to manage anxiety without overstepping, and personal stories that make these lessons relatable. She also gives us a sneak peek at her upcoming book, Why Do I Keep Doing This? (Dec 9th, 2025), guiding listeners toward breaking unhealthy patterns and building stronger, more resilient connections.
Episode Timestamps:
- 00:00 Introduction to Control and Its Illusions
- 00:41 Understanding Control in Relationships
- 03:20 Recognizing Controlling Behaviors in Ourselves
- 05:08 Coping Mechanisms and Personal Examples
- 07:30 Practical Tips to Manage Control Issues
- 10:49 Impact of Control on Relationships
- 17:52 Letting Go of Control in Parenting
- 18:22 The Challenge of Helicopter Parenting
- 19:12 Encouraging Independence in Children
- 21:24 Recognizing Controlling Behaviors in Relationships
- 24:11 Managing Children's Mental Health and Manipulative Behaviors
- 27:15 The Importance of Open Communication
- 31:45 Katie Morton's New Book Announcement
- 33:21 Conclusion and Social Media Plugs
BIO:
Kati Morton, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist, Best-selling Author, and a highly sought-after speaker in the field of mental health. With a Master's in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University, Kati has delivered impactful talks at prestigious events and platforms worldwide. Kati's upcoming book, Why Do I Keep Doing This? (out December 2025), explores why we fall into the same emotional loops, such as people-pleasing or self-sabotage, and how to break them once and for all.
Kati has been at the forefront of the mental health movement since 2011, sharing powerful videos that demystify mental health and replace stigmas with understanding. Her influential YouTube channel - with over 1.5 million subscribers and 130 million views, has made her a prominent figure in translating complex mental health concepts into accessible language.
An accomplished author of two best-selling books "Are u ok?: A Guide to Caring for Your Mental Health" and “
Disclaimer: The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional advice. Listeners are encouraged to seek guidance from qualified professionals for their specific situations.
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