How To Survive The Classroom

How To Survive The Classroom

As we all know, an educator’s career is one of prestige, respect, and authority. Just kidding. Sure, there are lesson plans and inspirational posters. Book reports and detentions. But nobody tells you it’s also parents brawling in the parking lot, students unleashing live crickets during finals, and getting evaluated for “running a tight ship” while the ceiling literally leaks onto your head. Hosted by Andrea Forcum (aka @Educator Andrea on TikTok, former high school teacher and current professor at Indiana State University), How to Survive the Classroom is part advice column, part survival guide, and part group therapy. Each week, Andrea dons her trauma tiara to tackle call-ins and confessions from fellow educators (and brave educator allies). From hilarious war stories to brutal burnout moments, join us as we strategize, survive, and occasionally let out a good old-fashioned cathartic scream into the void. If you’ve ever Googled “how to professionally quit mid-semester” or seriously considered hiding in a supply closet, this show’s for you. Teaching may be a noble profession… but nobility doesn’t stop your classroom from catching on fire.

Episodes

October 27, 2025 36 mins
This week started with a gut punch, my course evaluations. Let’s just say a few of my college students think I should “go back to teaching middle school.” Ouch. But you know what? They might have a point. Somewhere between grading, crying, and doom-scrolling, I stumbled into a TikTok hole about a guy making something called “perpetual stew.” (Spoiler: it involves placenta. You’re welcome.) Then I found joy again through the weirdes...
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You ever have one of those weeks where your kid says something so wild you can’t even respond right away? Yeah… mine started with a confession about sniffing a friend’s butt. I also found myself on tour with two grown men who can’t remember their rental car company, and then I saw a viral video of a mom furious at her kid’s teacher… because he didn’t drink his water bottle. This week, I’m unpacking all of it . The parenting chaos,...
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October 13, 2025 30 mins
This week I found myself wandering through a 90s fever dream, yes, there was an actual Tamagotchi pop-up shop, before heading to Chicago for a sold-out show that brought out old students, old stories, and one deeply unimpressed middle schooler. Then, things got even more chaotic when teacher voicemails rolled in: one about 8th graders who can’t stop saying “six-seven” (and now in Spanish), and another about a slime experiment gone ...
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October 6, 2025 32 mins
I thought the mic stand was going to be my biggest battle this week… but between parades I didn’t understand, parents at my kids’ school, and voicemails that took turns I could have never prepared for, this episode had me reeling. From a teacher who declared he had his “asshole pants” on, to a locker room surprise that may or may not have been cocaine, to a student loudly announcing she was climaxing in driver’s ed, let’s just say,...
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September 29, 2025 33 mins
This week I learned that nothing divides the internet faster than Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s engagement and yes, I have thoughts. Spoiler: I’m baffled, not bitter. From my squirrel-and-nut analogies to realizing Lord of the Rings news impacts me way more than celebrity weddings, this episode is a rollercoaster of pop culture side-eye, mom-life struggles, and teacher realities. You’ll also hear listener voicemails that had me l...
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This week had me cackling, cringing, and covering my face. First up, Indiana State roasted me in the most unexpected way, and then a listener voicemail hit my inbox about a confiscated classroom “toy” that looked suspiciously like something straight out of an adult store. Add in another voicemail about a kid who ended up in the ER after a bathroom stunt went horribly wrong (yes, it’s as painful as it sounds), and I spiral into a ra...
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This episode has everything: a very confusing proposition for Gasper in Arizona, students showing up to class with “water bottles” that definitely weren’t water, and a kid who decided standardized testing needed more… fire. Literally. I also get into the messy overlap between teacher contracts and legal weed, why standardized tests might be measuring culture more than knowledge, and the one hill I’ll absolutely die on when it comes...
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This week I found myself caught between two very different kinds of chaos: one involving an art teacher with a flair for fire, and another that sent me spiraling back to the glory days of Limewire downloads gone wrong. I’ll just say this, what started as innocent creativity and curious music hunting turned into disasters no one saw coming. And yes, you’ll probably feel just as nervous as I did listening back. Takeaways: That one...
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Teacher besties, this one whiplashed me from what did that sub just say? to why am I holding the phone with a detective? We start with a voicemail about a beloved substitute whose first day with third graders went… let’s call it catastrophically “old-war-story meets wrong audience.” The recovery arc? Shockingly sweet—but the initial moment had my soul leave my body. Then a second story drops: a teacher realizes a student’s casua...
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I thought I’d heard it all when it comes to the chaos that happens in schools… and then this episode happened. From bizarre moments that made me question my own sanity to a story that had me laughing so hard I had to stop recording—this one is a ride. Let’s just say it involves a teacher, an unexpected interruption, and one of the most jaw-dropping moments we’ve ever had on the show. You won’t see this one coming. Takeaways: The...
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This week’s episode has everything: brownies gone wrong, mice turning into classroom pets, and yes… the day I realized my car had become a rat maternity ward. (Don’t eat during that part, teacher besties.) We kick things off with a student cruise that takes a very unexpected turn when a principal tries to “prove a point” with confiscated brownies. Spoiler: it backfired spectacularly. Then, a mouse runs straight into class and one ...
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Between trying to deep-clean grout, almost impulse-buying enough tile to redo my whole house, and befriending an owl that definitely wants nothing to do with me, my life is chaos right now. But teacher besties, we’ve also got some insane listener stories this week. One caller shares how struggling in school meant being banned from every fun activity, while another almost got fired their first year for the crime of telling a kid to...
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August 4, 2025 35 mins
This week? Oh, I just casually FIXED EDUCATION. You're welcome. Between moving houses (but like... literally down the street?) and talking to a room full of superintendents about what teachers really want to say (spoiler: they did not love the football metaphor), it's been A Week™. Also, y'all hit me with voicemails about peeing in bottles and damp key lanyards soaked in mystery liquids and somehow I still can’t stop laughing. Did ...
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This week’s episode swings wildly between "please tell me that didn’t just come out of my mouth" and "how is this legal in schools?" First, we’ve got a teacher who meant to say “stop jacking around” and... well, you can guess how that went. I lose it (obviously), because every teacher has had one of those moments where your brain short-circuits in front of 30 teenagers. Then, we flip the tone completely for a story that rocked me...
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I started this episode already on edge because a mysterious chip in my windshield had me spiraling into a full-blown Safelite conspiracy. And if you think that was wild, just wait until you hear what one of your fellow teacher besties found smeared under a student’s desk. (Spoiler: it’s exactly what you’re afraid it is.) Then there’s the student who decided to learn about vasectomies during class. Yes, there’s a YouTube video invo...
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This week I went full trash-TV-to-education-policy mode after Kourtney Kardashian called public school “dated” and bragged about homeschool like she invented it. And y’all… I have thoughts. We’re talking 1% privilege, educational history, and why calling schools outdated is actually the most outdated take of all. Then we pivot—hard—to some iconic voicemail chaos, including the loudest poop story I’ve ever heard and a kid who appar...
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This voicemail had me fully sweating. A teacher casually drops that a full SWAT team showed up at her school… and the kicker? It wasn’t even a drill. We’re talking lockdowns, military gear, weapons drawn, and a group of students who were just trying to get to lunch. And the reason they showed up? Ohhhh, you are not ready. I spiral through the possibilities, ask all the wrong questions, and react in real-time to what is possibly th...
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I was feeling proud after successfully replacing an exterior light… until I dropped a screw into the mulch and my son roasted my bald husband mid-chaos. Classic. But that’s not even the wildest thing in this episode. I’m talking pencil-related injuries, fourth graders defending their moms’ honor in extremely unexpected ways, and the dark, dark rabbit hole of what ER staff have had to remove from people's bodies. (Spoiler: birds. Li...
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Let’s just say this episode covers a lot of... ground. From one very misplaced turd to a student-inspired staple surgery, I walk you through what can only be described as a masterclass in middle school madness. We’re talking scorched Chromebooks, poop-related investigations, and yes, whether you stand or sit to wipe (it matters more than you think). I’ll also drop a killer free resource that could save your last month of school. So...
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You ever discover something about your teacher that made your teenage brain short-circuit? Yeah, me too. So this week, I dove headfirst into the teacher lore rabbit hole, because nothing says professional development like finding out your music teacher once chucked a desk at a kid. Oh, and remember the DARE program? Apparently, not everyone took it as seriously as I did. We’re also unpacking some jaw-dropping listener voicemails, ...
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