February 27, 2025 • 27 mins
Learn more about the Storyteller's Society
Having reviewed thousands queries in the past two years, literary agent Amy Nielsen shares exclusive writing tips specifically tailored for thriller writers on the traditional publishing route.
This agent interview with Amy dives deep into query structure, comp titles, and how to craft a pitch that perfectly matches your opening pages.
Whether you're writing thriller, mystery, suspense, or crime fiction, Amy's professional insights will help you avoid common pitfalls and significantly improve your chances of catching an agent's attention with your query.
Learn how to write query letters that stand out from the slush pile with practical advice from one of the industry's most approachable literary agents.
- The exact structure of a winning query letter, including where to place metadata, how to craft a personal introduction, and how to keep your word count tight at 300-350 words
- Why comparative titles are crucial to query success, with a real-life example of how changing just one comp title led to representation and publication offers
- How to ensure your query pitch accurately reflects your opening pages (especially if you have a prologue), and why this alignment is essential for thriller writers working with agents
Bio:
Amy Nielsen spent nearly 20 years as a youth librarian. Daily immersion in story took root and she penned her YA debut WORTH IT behind her circulation desk. In addition to being an author, Amy is an editorial literary agent at The Purcell Agency. She is also a freelance editor and runs Mayflower Media where she helps authors make book trailers and other video marketing materials.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Amy Nielsen (00:01):
the only job of the query is to get the agent to
read your pages.
And the query is basically theresume for your book.
It's not the jacket copy.
It's, it's, again, just thosefew things.
Who's the main character?
What do they want?
What's standing in the way?
What's at stake if they don'tget it?
That's what we need to know.
And that's it.
David Gwyn (00:18):
Hey everyone, and welcome to another episode of
Thriller 1 0 1.
Today I'm excited to bring you aconversation with literary agent
Amy Nielsen.
I.
This is gonna serve as just partone of a multi-part series that
we're gonna do with Amy here,where she's gonna share
important insights into thequerying process.
Amy joined us about a year ago,and she's back with some really
crucial insights about queriesand opening pages.
(00:41):
If you're in the queryingtrenches or getting ready to
submit your manuscript toagents, this episode is
absolutely essential.
I'm David, a writer navigatingthe world of traditional
publishing.
During the second season of theThriller 1 0 1 podcast, we're
gonna continue our focus onbuilding the skills necessary to
write the kinds of thrillersthat land you and agent and
readers during the season, I'llbe sharing some of my own
(01:03):
insights while also talking toagents, authors, and other
publishing professionals aboutthe best way to write a novel.
If you want the Expert Secrets,thriller 1 0 1 is where you're
gonna find them.
Amy has read thousands ofqueries in the past two years,
giving her a unique perspectiveon what works and what doesn't.
When it comes to firstimpressions, she's currently
focusing specifically on signinga thriller writer.
(01:25):
So her advice is particularlyrelevant because maybe you could
be her next client.
Last time on the podcast Ishared insights into the
Thriller 1 0 1 community.
I've started the process ofonboarding cohort two members.
We're closing at the end ofFebruary, so depending on when
you listen to this, it could betoo late.
Head down into the descriptionand sign up right away if you're
interested and I'll get you moreinformation or you can check out
(01:46):
the episode.
Also link to the description ifyou wanna just learn more about
the Storyteller Society at thetime of this recording.
We only have three spots left.
Um, not sure how many will behere by the time you're
listening to this, but if youwanna write your best book ever
with a flexible learningenvironment that provides you
with exactly what you need towrite your story, then check it
out.
It might be your kind of thing,and it might be exactly what
(02:09):
you're looking for.
Okay, let's get into theconversation with Amy.
She's gonna break down whatshould be in your query letter,
including how to structure theperfect introduction that feels
personal, uh, where to shareyour metadata, things like
title, word count, genre, andcomps, why comp titles are so
crucial, and how one comp changeactually led to her own
(02:29):
publishing success.
How to craft a pitch thatactually matches your opening
pages.
Some common pitfalls that mightconfuse agents when they're
reading batches of queries.
And more.
Again, this is just part one ofa multi-part series, so if you
haven't subscribed to theThriller 1 0 1 Podcast, be sure
to do that so you get notifiedfor part two.
Okay, let's dive into thisconversation with Amy Nielsen
(02:51):
about queries and opening pages.
Amy, thanks so much for beingpart of the Thriller 101
interview series here.
We are so lucky to have you.
Amy Nielsen (02:59):
you.
I was looking up the last timethat you and I chatted on the
podcast and it was December of2023.
So it's been just about a year.
David Gwyn (03:06):
Nice.
That's awesome.
And it's always, it's alwaysgreat to chat with you.
We gotten to work together alittle bit through the
Storyteller Society, and you,you took pitches from, from the
writers there, which was great.
They, they really loved chattingwith you and, you know, you did
a little bit of a, of a agentpitch intro there for the, for
the group two, which they foundreally, really helpful.
A lot of them referenced yoursuggestions when they were
(03:26):
planning to pitch, which wasreally cool.
So thank you for being so youknow, giving with your time.
Amy Nielsen (03:31):
well, absolutely.
And their pitches were amazing.
Like they did such a good job.
So I don't know if they weresharing them back and forth with
each other and getting feedback,but they were excellent.
Absolutely excellent.
Some of the best pitches thatI've ever seen.
And I'm in a group of otheragents and that was a common
thread because several of us.
We're taking pitches and we'reall like, these are some of the
(03:52):
best pitches we've ever heard.
So whatever you're doing overthere with your authors, it's
really showing.
David Gwyn (03:58):
Okay.
Great.
No, I, I really appreciate that.
They were working really hard.
It's funny.
They were actually, while youguys were taking pitches, the
ones who weren't pitching, we'reall in a room together and they
were practicing their pitchesstill in the zoom room while
they were waiting to go.
So they were, they weredefinitely.
prepared, you know, they workedhard on their preparation, so
I'm glad that it, that it showedand it came through in their
pitches.
That's really cool.
Amy Nielsen (04:17):
Well, that's excellent.
And I always say, you know,writing is a solitary art, but
publishing is a communityeffort.
So it really is.
And if anyone's been interestedor thinking about joining a
community, I highly recommendthe Storyteller Society.
David Gwyn (04:32):
We're going to talk about some really, really
important stuff today.
We were talking before we gotstarted, you were like you know,
it's like, it's kind of a lot ofinformation here and, and I
think it's worthwhile for peopleto, to hear and people need to
hear it.
And so I want to really getright into it here and, and let
you, let you go with some ofthis stuff.
But I do want to just preface ita little bit for people just so
they have some context here.
(04:53):
You've read something like 3,000 queries in the past two
years.
Am I getting that number right?
Amy Nielsen (04:57):
close.
David Gwyn (04:58):
That's insane.
And so these are, these are sometrends that we're going to talk
about some trends that you'venoticed.
But before we get into that, Ijust want people to share.
I know you kind of open andclose periodically depending on,
on, you know, your, your querylist and what's, what's there
and everything, but.
Just whenever people are hearingthis, if you are open, what are
some of the genres you'relooking for?
Amy Nielsen (05:17):
Well, right now I'm strictly seeking thrillers,
David Gwyn (05:20):
There you go.
Amy Nielsen (05:21):
so I'm sure your audience will love to hear that,
and I do.
just closed on Sunday, but Ibelieve I'll be opening back up
within a month.
Because I was very specific inmy wish list.
So it was a narrow group of, I'mlooking for domestic, suspense,
and psychological, specificallyright now.
So if you're writing in those,those Subgenres of thrillers.
(05:43):
Follow me to find out when I'llbe opening back up because I do
think I will be.
And I do have some greatsubmissions.
I haven't started combingthrough them voraciously yet.
I've read most of the queriesbecause I've got a few other
things on my plate right now,but I'm very excited to dig in.
Thriller is definitely one of myfavorite genres, which is why
Joy hanging out with you.
David Gwyn (06:03):
Yeah.
No, that's great.
and I'm sure everyone, everyoneright now is fiercely Googling
you to see if you're open.
So so that's cool.
So but if you are, I I've I'lllink to some ways that you can
get in touch with Amy, in thedescription.
So if you're If you're one ofthose people who are like, Oh,
that fits what I, what I'mwriting.
Definitely pop down into therewhen this is over, but first,
before you do that, way beforeyou do that.
(06:23):
You got to make sure that your,your query and everything that
you're submitting is up to parand that's really what we're
going to talk about today.
So I want to get into these.
Do you have a place you'd liketo start?
Amy Nielsen (06:33):
Yes.
Well, first off, I would like totell all authors that if you are
listening to this podcast, youare already ahead of the game
because it shows that you'reresearching, you're doing the
work.
And so I just wanted to start bycomplimenting all listeners.
Because you are already, youknow, close to, to, to that
finish line by doing theresearch and doing the work and
(06:55):
putting in the work and so Ijust wanted to start with that
before we dive into some of thethings that may not be as
positive because they're notnegative but I just hope that
what I share with you will helpyou get across that publishing
line faster And
David Gwyn (07:09):
And I will share really quickly before you get
into that.
I, we've done a couple sessionstogether.
We've chatted before and youalways provide like the best
information.
You're always giving the kind oflike peek behind the curtain,
which all writers are lookingfor.
So.
We are in for a real treat.
So if you are, if you arelistening to this right now like
Amy said, you're doing the workand, and, you know, get ready to
(07:29):
take notes.
Cause I think this is going tobe a good
Amy Nielsen (07:31):
Well, thank you.
So note that this is subjectiveinformation.
Not all agents or editors willhave the same feedback, and many
of the things that I'm going totell you about today, you're
going to find in books, inshelves, in libraries, and in
bookstores, and probably in yourown home.
So, you know, take what I'msaying and use what resonates
(07:51):
with you, is basically whatresonates with your story.
So I want to start kind of bytalking about the query letter
itself, because that is thefirst thing.
document of your writing thatthe agent is going to read.
So it's the first opportunitythat you get a chance to show
what your book is about.
And so I, I, there's some thingsI've been seeing in queries that
I think just a couple littletips and you can kind of make
(08:13):
sure that you close anyloopholes that your query might
be missing.
So first off is the word count.
Agents read queries and batches10, 20 at a time, and oftentimes
this is at the end of ourworkday, late at night, so you
really want to keep that wordcount tight.
I'm talking like 3 to 350 words.
(08:34):
If you're doing a lot of worldbuilding, obviously it's going
to be a little bit longer, butreally kind of keep that super,
super tight.
Now I'm going to break down kindof the sections of the query.
So the first unofficial sectionof the query is basically the
introduction, and that's kind ofwhere I like to feel that it's
friendly and personal that I'mnot just opening up something
(08:57):
that's been copied and pasted,you know, and it doesn't have to
be extensive.
It can literally be, I heard youon David Gwynn's podcast.
You're interested in domesticthrillers.
I think what I have fits yourwish list.
That's it.
You know, that's friendly.
That shows the agent that Youknow, my interest will
immediately be peaked becausethat would be absolutely true
and I'm going to be excited toread that query.
(09:19):
And so the second part that Ilike to see next is the metadata
and that's the title in allcaps, word count, age range,
genre, comps, and I also likeauthors to put in a unique
structure here.
So like if it's told throughepistolary, which is like
letters and stuff, or if it'sdual timeline, because that's
(09:40):
going to let me know, is thatsomething that a structure that
I feel comfortable with, youknow, repping.
Am I the best agent for that?
So I think that's important toput that unique structure.
Now, what I'm seeing in somequeries is this information kind
of spread throughout the query.
Maybe the comps are at the top,or the, you know, maybe most of
(10:00):
it's at the top, but the compsare at the bottom.
And, This information can varyagent to agent, but I think it's
never wrong to put that upfront.
You know that lets me know, too,if the word count immediately is
within the range that I feelcomfortable taking on.
You know, if I'm looking fornovels under 90, 000 and your
work, you know, your novel's140, I can give you a pass much
(10:21):
quicker, so you're not waiting.
So I think putting all thatinformation right there is
really important.
I am seeing some missing compsin queries and this is
problematic for I think firstly,if I'm going to sign an author,
I have to have comps myselfbefore I send that to editors.
(10:44):
So you want to kind of make thatwork a little easier, you know,
on the agent.
It also lets me know, like, isthere a market right now for
your book?
Because those comps should belike within the three to four
year range.
And I I really think that's oneof the most important parts of
your, of your query letter isyour comps.
And it's not, it's not easy tofind them.
(11:04):
It does take a lot of work.
And, and it doesn't have to bean exact comp.
I mean, you can comp somethingfor the setting.
You can comp something for themain character.
You can comp something for a lotof different things.
But you do want to make surethat, Yeah.
You know, you have two or three,at least one or two of them are
books, you know, a lot of peoplecomp movies, and that's fine,
but you're, you're pitching abook, so I think that as far as
(11:26):
comps go, that's really, reallyimportant, and true story, and
I've told this story many times.
I was in the query trenches fora year and then I changed one of
my comps to something that wasmore accurate, really, and more
well known, not super wellknown, but fit much better than
the comp I had.
And within one month of swappingthat one comp, I got an offer of
(11:48):
representation by an agent, anR& R by a publisher, and an
offer to publish by a publisher.
And I attribute that to swappingthat one comp, so it's just so
important.
David Gwyn (12:00):
I want to just touch on one thing and then ask a
question, that I think peopleare, are, are questioning
because I am too.
First is I think, I love the waythat you put that, that
structure, especially theopening and having all that
information at the top.
that that is never wrong to haveat first.
And I think that is such a goodway of putting it because some
agents preferred in differentplaces, but if it's at the top,
(12:21):
that is like, no, no agent'sgoing to be like, Oh, you put it
at the top, like no autoautomatic pass, you know?
And I think that's a good way ofputting it.
I think authors a lot of timesthink That there's going to be
so much that gets in the way ofan agent saying yes.
And, and I've said this to thewriters that we work with a lot.
I say, look, like if you are, ifyou are using a structure that
is commonly known as like thestructure and he's for a query,
(12:44):
every agent, they may be like,Oh, that's not my preference,
but they're not going to.
think that this is, this iscrazy, you know, but if you're
putting out there, like you'resaying this kind of opening line
with all the information rightat top, that is what most agents
prefer.
And for all the reasons that yousaid, and I think that's a great
way of putting it.
And then my other question is,is about comps.
So I've seen a lot morefrequently now, and I'm
(13:06):
wondering if this is a trendthat you're seeing as well.
People using comps.
for they're using like popularmovies as a way to comp their
book.
And so they're saying, cause Iknow like, you know, when you're
using your comps, you don'tnecessarily want to do popular,
super popular books.
You don't want to comp it to abestseller per se, but you can
get away sometimes with compingit to, or like an older movie.
(13:28):
I know people have done moviesor TV shows from, you know, the
past that where they're kind ofsaying it feels like this.
Do you like that as an agent orhow do you feel or how do you
navigate that when you see thatin a
Amy Nielsen (13:40):
Oh, I don't mind at all.
I think that's one way to reallygive a visual you know, image.
Even in my own query, I comp tothe setting of Ozark even though
it takes place in Florida, but Iexplained why that was more of
a, of a setting.
So yeah, absolutely.
Like I say, as long as you, youknow, Most of your comps are
books.
It is perfectly okay to use a TVshow or a movie.
(14:01):
I don't mind that at all.
Just, and then it can be older,but you just want to make sure
that your comps for books arewhat's, you know, out there
right now being read.
And the other thing that I'mseeing sometimes in that
metadata paragraph is Missingage range, or missing genre, or
too many genres.
(14:21):
So let me break that down alittle bit.
YA is an age range, middle gradeis an age range.
So those are age ranges.
So if you put YA, I still needto know the genre that you're
submitting to me.
And again, having all that upfront, like we said, David is
never wrong.
That's not going to be thereason an agent passes or
doesn't pass on you, absolutely.
But what we don't know whatwe're about to read with your
(14:43):
pitch.
So to have our mindset framedcorrectly before we dive into
something that we have no ideawhat we're going to dive into, I
think it's just really, really,really helpful.
And as far as like genres, yes,there's genre blending that
works well.
Obviously, romanticy is thehottest thing right now.
But all my daughters read isromanticy.
But I have had queries come tome that have like four different
(15:04):
genres in it.
And I'm like, wait a minute, IWhat?
You know, what is this thing?
And so you can, like, say you'resubmitting a domestic thriller
that has a romantic subplot.
That's totally fine becauseyou're gonna have elements of
other genre within the story.
whatever you're writing.
That's just the reality of it.
I need to have a clear pictureof exactly what it is you're
(15:24):
pitching me, so I know who I'mgoing to, what editor I'm going
to send that to.
And I know that the reader isgoing to have the proper
expectations, too.
So if we say it's a domesticthriller and it's reading more
like a romance, well, ourthriller authors, right, our
thriller readers are going to belike, wait a minute, that's not,
What I signed up for, you know,so that helps with proper,
(15:45):
proper pitching, I think.
And then the pitch itself, likethe middle part of your query,
some of the things to look outfor is a lot of times authors
use universal themes in theirpitch.
And yes, we want your book tohave universal themes.
That's what's going to give it auniversal audience.
And, but those themes don't needto be stated in your query
(16:06):
because that doesn't tell meanything about.
Your main character.
And, and so kind of in, in thequery, what I'm looking for and
what most agents are looking forto find out about your book is
We want to know who the maincharacter is, we want to know
what do they want, and we wantto know what's standing in the
way of them getting it, and wewant to know what's at stake if
(16:27):
they don't get it.
That's pretty much it.
That's your pitch.
If you're looking for aformulaic pitch, that is it.
Now, you may need to add alittle bit of setting in there
too, obviously.
And if you have more than onemain character, you may need to
do that twice, but we don't needall the side characters
mentioned.
We could say the best friend,the father, whatever, you know,
keep it on just those maincharacters, but, but that's
(16:49):
really, it can be super, super,super succinct.
And the last thing about queriesthat I'll mention, and then we
can move on and chat aboutqueries if we have, if you have
some other questions, is I'veseen this happen a couple times,
and I wanted to alert authors tothis.
It happens to me too, and that'swhen the query doesn't feel like
(17:10):
it's the query for thesubmission, for the pages that I
have.
So, for example my own storyoriginally.
My young adult novels startedwith a prologue of when the,
the, the teenager, the maincharacter, was a child, and so I
got feedback from an agent,because I didn't have that in my
query, I got feedback from anagent, because that was like the
first seven pages, they're like,this didn't read, Like the
(17:33):
pitch.
So I was confused.
And so I've seen that in acouple of manuscripts that start
with a long prologue, and I'mnot saying don't write a
prologue.
If your book needs a prologue,write a prologue, but make sure
if it's completely differentthan what your first chapter
reads like, you might need towrite a prologue.
consider, consider revising yourpitch.
And I have a crazy example thatI came up with.
(17:54):
This is not a real book and itprobably shouldn't be, but I
wanted to kind of illustratewhat I'm talking about.
So let's say your book startswith a prologue of a dragon
slayer slaying a dragon.
And this is epic battle of thisdragon being slayed.
And then chapter one, thisdragon slayer has left slaying
(18:14):
dragons and now, you know, athome living a quiet life.
And so if your pitch issomething like this, and I
literally wrote this in likefive seconds, so pardon me, but
hopefully illustrates what I'mtrying to illustrate.
if you're, yeah, if you'repitching your query is something
like, Claudia is perfectlycontent living the quiet
American life, but when she'sforced back into the life she
(18:36):
wanted out of to save those sheloved, she must choose.
to save her family and face herbiggest fears, or uproot her
family to protect them.
So there's nothing in thereabout a dragon, and it's not
very specific either.
But if I read that, I'm like,well, I don't know, there's a
lot of themes and biggest fears,it's not specific.
And then I open up the pages andthere's this dragon battle, I'm
(18:58):
like, and it's happened severaltimes, so I kind of revised the
pitch and made it a little morespecific to what this
character's doing and insertedsomething that you would know if
you get to a prologue andthere's dragons, they should be
there.
You're not reading the wrongbook, so I said, okay.
Clawdee retires her sword andswaps slaying dragons with
(19:19):
taking her kids to soccerpractice and birthday parties.
But when a letter from theDragon Slayers Society shows up
at her door, threatening toexpose her if she doesn't
return, she's forced to choose.
Risk her family being hunted bythe dragons families she's
killed, or join forces againwith the Slayers, offending her
family, and pick up a sword onceagain.
So, I mean, I would revise that,revise that, revise that if I
(19:40):
was pitching this manuscript.
But just to kind of let youknow, now the pitch, I know
clearly I'm going to be readingabout dragons, but that this
woman left this to have a quietlife, not involving killing
dragons, because it's dangerousfor her family.
So that's kind of, you know,read your pitch.
And if you, again, make sure itmatches those opening pages that
there's a remnant there,especially if you have a
(20:03):
prologue, because a lot of timesprologues read very differently
than the chapter one.
So I just wanted to kind of, youknow, put everyone that has a
lengthy prologue and alert thereto kind of make sure it's there
because I've been confused a fewtimes.
And the last thing you want isto confuse an agent.
David Gwyn (20:18):
Yeah, no, I think that's spot on.
And I love this because I talkto thriller writers a lot,
obviously, and one of the thingsI've noticed in the genre is I
know that there's a lot ofpeople who are against prologues
and rightfully so.
I mean, if it's not, if it's notdoing work, then it shouldn't be
there.
But thrillers are one of thosegenres where we see prologues a
lot, and I think it's because ithas a lot to, I think you see it
a lot in horror too, because itsets a tone, like it's that
(20:39):
first chapter that like sets thevibe, but then we go back and we
meet the character kind of intheir normal day to day life,
and sometimes if you don't havea prologue, It can, you know,
you can see why thrillers are apopular genre.
And so I've talked to thrillerwriters a lot about this, and
I'm so curious about this.
So let me ask you this question.
It's like hypothetical here.
If you're, if you're somebodywho let's say, for example, your
(21:01):
query letter, you know, yourmain story is about this one
character.
and your prologue is an openingline of like the killer killing
somebody, right?
That's like that scene.
Would you suggest writing thequery letter still about that
character and then cutting theprologue and just starting with
chapter one when you send it toan agent?
(21:22):
Or would you suggest mentioningthat like the story starts with
a murder and then you meet thecharacter, you know, within the
confines of the query and stillusing that prologue?
Am I making sense?
Okay.
Amy Nielsen (21:36):
You are making perfect sense.
And my suggestion would be ifyou wrote the prologue, then you
think it matters.
And so, but I would make surethat, I mean, if it's a
thriller, we know there'smurder, then you don't really
need to reference it and youdon't need to reframe your pitch
because it's going to be obviousit's still the same book.
My point is when your pitchdoesn't match, This the first
(21:56):
pages and so we I need to knowthat when I'm reading the right
manuscript and so like I say ifthis woman slaying dragons in
the prologue and it's 10 pageslong.
And I've just read about herliving the quiet, a quiet life.
I'm like, wait a minute.
Am I reading the same book?
So just make sure that when youread your pitch that it matches
the submission pages.
Whether that's the first five orthe first ten that the, that the
(22:17):
agent is going to know they'rereading the correct manuscript.
And I'm not a hater of prologuesat all.
I took mine out when I, after Igot that review that the pitch
didn't really match the theprologue.
And then editor made me put itback once I got, once I signed
the deal.
So, you know, because It becauseshe, she didn't even know I had
(22:38):
written a prologue.
So that's someone that has agood eye, you know, she could
tell that something was missing.
But yeah, so.
David Gwyn (22:46):
No, that makes a lot of sense.
And when I talk to people whoare out querying and writing a
lot, I think that the biggestthing, and one of the things
that you said too is, well,we're really two things that
stuck out to me that we haven'treally touched on, which is one,
like that you're readingsometimes batches of 10 and 20.
And so like, if you're confusingan agent in your query and
you're not being specific,losing them completely.
(23:08):
Like it, that's so hard.
I can't imagine.
I sometimes sit down to read onequery letter, like give
feedback.
And I'm like, man, can I, Ican't imagine having an an inbox
of 200.
Amy Nielsen (23:17):
Yeah.
Well, and we're not just readingqueries.
And, you know, we're alsoediting.
I do a lot of editorial workwith my clients, I just sent
out, I'm about to send out aneditorial letter today.
And I read through those, like,three or four times before I
send them to my authors, justbecause I want to make sure it
has the right amount of, I lovethis.
And can we work on that?
And so a lot of times I'll gothrough first and I'll say,
(23:40):
these are the things we need tofix.
And then I go back and find allthose beautiful lines that they
wrote, because I, that'simportant too.
And then we're also searchingfor editors.
So the reading queries is sucha, it seems like it's the
largest part, but it's really asmaller part.
And if you do lose.
Then, like I say, if that's, ifit's confusing if that pitch is
that manuscript, it may be thatmanuscript doesn't get read
(24:00):
because that wasn't the promiseof the premise.
That wasn't the promise of thepitch.
So, and if that pitch got meexcited to read your pages, I'm
going to want to see that I'm,that it's, that what you
promised to me is there.
So I think that, I've seen thata few times, and it has been,
and one author did ask me, hesaid should I have sent you my
chapter one instead?
I'm like, no, revise this pitchso it matches, so I can see it
(24:23):
reflected in that, in thatprologue.
Yeah, so that's pretty much whatI have.
Oh, and then of course,obviously, your biography comes
at the end.
I caution you to make yourbiography longer than your
pitch.
We want to know if you have anypublishing credits.
We want to know if you want toshare your day job.
If you don't have any publishingcredits, that's fine.
If you're a part of any writingorganizations, but I have seen a
(24:44):
few queries that, you know, thebio is larger than everything
else.
And so the, the longest part ofyour query should be, should be
that pitch in the middle andstill pitch.
Pretty short, you know, Iusually say like around around
50 ish words for the metadata,like 150 to 200 for the pitch,
and then about 50 ish for thebio.
(25:04):
And that will hit you within apretty good word count for that
query.
David Gwyn (25:09):
Yeah.
Let me ask you about thisbecause I, I have this theory
that I, I would love to eitheryour opinion on if I'm, if I'm
right, or if I'm wrong here, I,I think a lot of people think
about the query as the blurb onthe back of the book or on the
inside jacket.
And I, I actually think thatwhile that's like probably 90
percent true or 75 percent true,it actually, me.
(25:33):
isn't the same as the blurb onthe inside of the cover.
That you're, it's doingdifferent work.
Like, I think grabbing areader's attention who's in,
look, in a bookstore or likereading online is fundamentally
different than grabbing anagent's attention, even though
those two things seem sosimilar.
And I challenge people all thetime when they're talking about
(25:54):
their pitch.
They're like, well, how do Ishorten it to, how do I shorten
it to down to this?
And I'm like, you got toremember that you're not trying
to get an agent.
To buy your book.
You're just getting an agent toopen up the attachment that has
your, your, your next, youropening
Amy Nielsen (26:10):
Absolutely.
The only job of the query is toget the agent to read your
pages.
And the query is basically theresume for your book.
It's not the jacket copy.
It's, it's, again, just thosefew things.
Who's the main character?
What do they want?
What's standing in the way?
What's at stake if they don'tget it?
That's what we need to know.
And that's it.
And that's different thancatching a reader's attention,
(26:30):
of course.
But yeah, so, so that's prettymuch the query.
David Gwyn (26:35):
That wraps up part one of my conversation with
literary agent Amy Nielsen aboutcrafting effective queries and
opening pages.
I really hope you found herinsights as valuable as I did.
Be sure to subscribe to getnotified when part two drops.
Remember, your query letter isessentially the resume for your
book.
It's only job is to get theagent to open your pages, keep
it concise at around 300, 350words, which is what Amy
(26:58):
suggests.
Make sure your metadata is clearand upfront and ensure your
pitch actually matches what anagent will find in your opening
pages.
If you are writing thrillers, besure to follow Amy to find out
when she'll be reopening forsubmissions.
You could find links to connectwith her in the description.
Okay.
Thanks for hanging out with meon Thriller 1 0 1.
If you're enjoying the podcast,please consider leaving a review
(27:20):
wherever you listen to podcasts.
It means a lot.
I read everyone and I'm alwaysexcited when I get a new one.
So I'll catch you on the nextepisode where we will continue
unlocking the secrets to writingcompelling thrillers that get
you traditionally published.
I'll see you next time.
the only job of the query is to get the agent to
read your pages.
And the query is basically theresume for your book.
It's not the jacket copy.
It's, it's, again, just thosefew things.
Who's the main character?
What do they want?
What's standing in the way?
What's at stake if they don'tget it?
That's what we need to know.
And that's it.
David Gwyn (00:18):
Hey everyone, and welcome to another episode of
Thriller 1 0 1.
Today I'm excited to bring you aconversation with literary agent
Amy Nielsen.
I.
This is gonna serve as just partone of a multi-part series that
we're gonna do with Amy here,where she's gonna share
important insights into thequerying process.
Amy joined us about a year ago,and she's back with some really
crucial insights about queriesand opening pages.
(00:41):
If you're in the queryingtrenches or getting ready to
submit your manuscript toagents, this episode is
absolutely essential.
I'm David, a writer navigatingthe world of traditional
publishing.
During the second season of theThriller 1 0 1 podcast, we're
gonna continue our focus onbuilding the skills necessary to
write the kinds of thrillersthat land you and agent and
readers during the season, I'llbe sharing some of my own
(01:03):
insights while also talking toagents, authors, and other
publishing professionals aboutthe best way to write a novel.
If you want the Expert Secrets,thriller 1 0 1 is where you're
gonna find them.
Amy has read thousands ofqueries in the past two years,
giving her a unique perspectiveon what works and what doesn't.
When it comes to firstimpressions, she's currently
focusing specifically on signinga thriller writer.
(01:25):
So her advice is particularlyrelevant because maybe you could
be her next client.
Last time on the podcast Ishared insights into the
Thriller 1 0 1 community.
I've started the process ofonboarding cohort two members.
We're closing at the end ofFebruary, so depending on when
you listen to this, it could betoo late.
Head down into the descriptionand sign up right away if you're
interested and I'll get you moreinformation or you can check out
(01:46):
the episode.
Also link to the description ifyou wanna just learn more about
the Storyteller Society at thetime of this recording.
We only have three spots left.
Um, not sure how many will behere by the time you're
listening to this, but if youwanna write your best book ever
with a flexible learningenvironment that provides you
with exactly what you need towrite your story, then check it
out.
It might be your kind of thing,and it might be exactly what
(02:09):
you're looking for.
Okay, let's get into theconversation with Amy.
She's gonna break down whatshould be in your query letter,
including how to structure theperfect introduction that feels
personal, uh, where to shareyour metadata, things like
title, word count, genre, andcomps, why comp titles are so
crucial, and how one comp changeactually led to her own
(02:29):
publishing success.
How to craft a pitch thatactually matches your opening
pages.
Some common pitfalls that mightconfuse agents when they're
reading batches of queries.
And more.
Again, this is just part one ofa multi-part series, so if you
haven't subscribed to theThriller 1 0 1 Podcast, be sure
to do that so you get notifiedfor part two.
Okay, let's dive into thisconversation with Amy Nielsen
(02:51):
about queries and opening pages.
Amy, thanks so much for beingpart of the Thriller 101
interview series here.
We are so lucky to have you.
Amy Nielsen (02:59):
you.
I was looking up the last timethat you and I chatted on the
podcast and it was December of2023.
So it's been just about a year.
David Gwyn (03:06):
Nice.
That's awesome.
And it's always, it's alwaysgreat to chat with you.
We gotten to work together alittle bit through the
Storyteller Society, and you,you took pitches from, from the
writers there, which was great.
They, they really loved chattingwith you and, you know, you did
a little bit of a, of a agentpitch intro there for the, for
the group two, which they foundreally, really helpful.
A lot of them referenced yoursuggestions when they were
(03:26):
planning to pitch, which wasreally cool.
So thank you for being so youknow, giving with your time.
Amy Nielsen (03:31):
well, absolutely.
And their pitches were amazing.
Like they did such a good job.
So I don't know if they weresharing them back and forth with
each other and getting feedback,but they were excellent.
Absolutely excellent.
Some of the best pitches thatI've ever seen.
And I'm in a group of otheragents and that was a common
thread because several of us.
We're taking pitches and we'reall like, these are some of the
(03:52):
best pitches we've ever heard.
So whatever you're doing overthere with your authors, it's
really showing.
David Gwyn (03:58):
Okay.
Great.
No, I, I really appreciate that.
They were working really hard.
It's funny.
They were actually, while youguys were taking pitches, the
ones who weren't pitching, we'reall in a room together and they
were practicing their pitchesstill in the zoom room while
they were waiting to go.
So they were, they weredefinitely.
prepared, you know, they workedhard on their preparation, so
I'm glad that it, that it showedand it came through in their
pitches.
That's really cool.
Amy Nielsen (04:17):
Well, that's excellent.
And I always say, you know,writing is a solitary art, but
publishing is a communityeffort.
So it really is.
And if anyone's been interestedor thinking about joining a
community, I highly recommendthe Storyteller Society.
David Gwyn (04:32):
We're going to talk about some really, really
important stuff today.
We were talking before we gotstarted, you were like you know,
it's like, it's kind of a lot ofinformation here and, and I
think it's worthwhile for peopleto, to hear and people need to
hear it.
And so I want to really getright into it here and, and let
you, let you go with some ofthis stuff.
But I do want to just preface ita little bit for people just so
they have some context here.
(04:53):
You've read something like 3,000 queries in the past two
years.
Am I getting that number right?
Amy Nielsen (04:57):
close.
David Gwyn (04:58):
That's insane.
And so these are, these are sometrends that we're going to talk
about some trends that you'venoticed.
But before we get into that, Ijust want people to share.
I know you kind of open andclose periodically depending on,
on, you know, your, your querylist and what's, what's there
and everything, but.
Just whenever people are hearingthis, if you are open, what are
some of the genres you'relooking for?
Amy Nielsen (05:17):
Well, right now I'm strictly seeking thrillers,
David Gwyn (05:20):
There you go.
Amy Nielsen (05:21):
so I'm sure your audience will love to hear that,
and I do.
just closed on Sunday, but Ibelieve I'll be opening back up
within a month.
Because I was very specific inmy wish list.
So it was a narrow group of, I'mlooking for domestic, suspense,
and psychological, specificallyright now.
So if you're writing in those,those Subgenres of thrillers.
(05:43):
Follow me to find out when I'llbe opening back up because I do
think I will be.
And I do have some greatsubmissions.
I haven't started combingthrough them voraciously yet.
I've read most of the queriesbecause I've got a few other
things on my plate right now,but I'm very excited to dig in.
Thriller is definitely one of myfavorite genres, which is why
Joy hanging out with you.
David Gwyn (06:03):
Yeah.
No, that's great.
and I'm sure everyone, everyoneright now is fiercely Googling
you to see if you're open.
So so that's cool.
So but if you are, I I've I'lllink to some ways that you can
get in touch with Amy, in thedescription.
So if you're If you're one ofthose people who are like, Oh,
that fits what I, what I'mwriting.
Definitely pop down into therewhen this is over, but first,
before you do that, way beforeyou do that.
(06:23):
You got to make sure that your,your query and everything that
you're submitting is up to parand that's really what we're
going to talk about today.
So I want to get into these.
Do you have a place you'd liketo start?
Amy Nielsen (06:33):
Yes.
Well, first off, I would like totell all authors that if you are
listening to this podcast, youare already ahead of the game
because it shows that you'reresearching, you're doing the
work.
And so I just wanted to start bycomplimenting all listeners.
Because you are already, youknow, close to, to, to that
finish line by doing theresearch and doing the work and
(06:55):
putting in the work and so Ijust wanted to start with that
before we dive into some of thethings that may not be as
positive because they're notnegative but I just hope that
what I share with you will helpyou get across that publishing
line faster And
David Gwyn (07:09):
And I will share really quickly before you get
into that.
I, we've done a couple sessionstogether.
We've chatted before and youalways provide like the best
information.
You're always giving the kind oflike peek behind the curtain,
which all writers are lookingfor.
So.
We are in for a real treat.
So if you are, if you arelistening to this right now like
Amy said, you're doing the workand, and, you know, get ready to
(07:29):
take notes.
Cause I think this is going tobe a good
Amy Nielsen (07:31):
Well, thank you.
So note that this is subjectiveinformation.
Not all agents or editors willhave the same feedback, and many
of the things that I'm going totell you about today, you're
going to find in books, inshelves, in libraries, and in
bookstores, and probably in yourown home.
So, you know, take what I'msaying and use what resonates
(07:51):
with you, is basically whatresonates with your story.
So I want to start kind of bytalking about the query letter
itself, because that is thefirst thing.
document of your writing thatthe agent is going to read.
So it's the first opportunitythat you get a chance to show
what your book is about.
And so I, I, there's some thingsI've been seeing in queries that
I think just a couple littletips and you can kind of make
(08:13):
sure that you close anyloopholes that your query might
be missing.
So first off is the word count.
Agents read queries and batches10, 20 at a time, and oftentimes
this is at the end of ourworkday, late at night, so you
really want to keep that wordcount tight.
I'm talking like 3 to 350 words.
(08:34):
If you're doing a lot of worldbuilding, obviously it's going
to be a little bit longer, butreally kind of keep that super,
super tight.
Now I'm going to break down kindof the sections of the query.
So the first unofficial sectionof the query is basically the
introduction, and that's kind ofwhere I like to feel that it's
friendly and personal that I'mnot just opening up something
(08:57):
that's been copied and pasted,you know, and it doesn't have to
be extensive.
It can literally be, I heard youon David Gwynn's podcast.
You're interested in domesticthrillers.
I think what I have fits yourwish list.
That's it.
You know, that's friendly.
That shows the agent that Youknow, my interest will
immediately be peaked becausethat would be absolutely true
and I'm going to be excited toread that query.
(09:19):
And so the second part that Ilike to see next is the metadata
and that's the title in allcaps, word count, age range,
genre, comps, and I also likeauthors to put in a unique
structure here.
So like if it's told throughepistolary, which is like
letters and stuff, or if it'sdual timeline, because that's
(09:40):
going to let me know, is thatsomething that a structure that
I feel comfortable with, youknow, repping.
Am I the best agent for that?
So I think that's important toput that unique structure.
Now, what I'm seeing in somequeries is this information kind
of spread throughout the query.
Maybe the comps are at the top,or the, you know, maybe most of
(10:00):
it's at the top, but the compsare at the bottom.
And, This information can varyagent to agent, but I think it's
never wrong to put that upfront.
You know that lets me know, too,if the word count immediately is
within the range that I feelcomfortable taking on.
You know, if I'm looking fornovels under 90, 000 and your
work, you know, your novel's140, I can give you a pass much
(10:21):
quicker, so you're not waiting.
So I think putting all thatinformation right there is
really important.
I am seeing some missing compsin queries and this is
problematic for I think firstly,if I'm going to sign an author,
I have to have comps myselfbefore I send that to editors.
(10:44):
So you want to kind of make thatwork a little easier, you know,
on the agent.
It also lets me know, like, isthere a market right now for
your book?
Because those comps should belike within the three to four
year range.
And I I really think that's oneof the most important parts of
your, of your query letter isyour comps.
And it's not, it's not easy tofind them.
(11:04):
It does take a lot of work.
And, and it doesn't have to bean exact comp.
I mean, you can comp somethingfor the setting.
You can comp something for themain character.
You can comp something for a lotof different things.
But you do want to make surethat, Yeah.
You know, you have two or three,at least one or two of them are
books, you know, a lot of peoplecomp movies, and that's fine,
but you're, you're pitching abook, so I think that as far as
(11:26):
comps go, that's really, reallyimportant, and true story, and
I've told this story many times.
I was in the query trenches fora year and then I changed one of
my comps to something that wasmore accurate, really, and more
well known, not super wellknown, but fit much better than
the comp I had.
And within one month of swappingthat one comp, I got an offer of
(11:48):
representation by an agent, anR& R by a publisher, and an
offer to publish by a publisher.
And I attribute that to swappingthat one comp, so it's just so
important.
David Gwyn (12:00):
I want to just touch on one thing and then ask a
question, that I think peopleare, are, are questioning
because I am too.
First is I think, I love the waythat you put that, that
structure, especially theopening and having all that
information at the top.
that that is never wrong to haveat first.
And I think that is such a goodway of putting it because some
agents preferred in differentplaces, but if it's at the top,
(12:21):
that is like, no, no agent'sgoing to be like, Oh, you put it
at the top, like no autoautomatic pass, you know?
And I think that's a good way ofputting it.
I think authors a lot of timesthink That there's going to be
so much that gets in the way ofan agent saying yes.
And, and I've said this to thewriters that we work with a lot.
I say, look, like if you are, ifyou are using a structure that
is commonly known as like thestructure and he's for a query,
(12:44):
every agent, they may be like,Oh, that's not my preference,
but they're not going to.
think that this is, this iscrazy, you know, but if you're
putting out there, like you'resaying this kind of opening line
with all the information rightat top, that is what most agents
prefer.
And for all the reasons that yousaid, and I think that's a great
way of putting it.
And then my other question is,is about comps.
So I've seen a lot morefrequently now, and I'm
(13:06):
wondering if this is a trendthat you're seeing as well.
People using comps.
for they're using like popularmovies as a way to comp their
book.
And so they're saying, cause Iknow like, you know, when you're
using your comps, you don'tnecessarily want to do popular,
super popular books.
You don't want to comp it to abestseller per se, but you can
get away sometimes with compingit to, or like an older movie.
(13:28):
I know people have done moviesor TV shows from, you know, the
past that where they're kind ofsaying it feels like this.
Do you like that as an agent orhow do you feel or how do you
navigate that when you see thatin a
Amy Nielsen (13:40):
Oh, I don't mind at all.
I think that's one way to reallygive a visual you know, image.
Even in my own query, I comp tothe setting of Ozark even though
it takes place in Florida, but Iexplained why that was more of
a, of a setting.
So yeah, absolutely.
Like I say, as long as you, youknow, Most of your comps are
books.
It is perfectly okay to use a TVshow or a movie.
(14:01):
I don't mind that at all.
Just, and then it can be older,but you just want to make sure
that your comps for books arewhat's, you know, out there
right now being read.
And the other thing that I'mseeing sometimes in that
metadata paragraph is Missingage range, or missing genre, or
too many genres.
(14:21):
So let me break that down alittle bit.
YA is an age range, middle gradeis an age range.
So those are age ranges.
So if you put YA, I still needto know the genre that you're
submitting to me.
And again, having all that upfront, like we said, David is
never wrong.
That's not going to be thereason an agent passes or
doesn't pass on you, absolutely.
But what we don't know whatwe're about to read with your
(14:43):
pitch.
So to have our mindset framedcorrectly before we dive into
something that we have no ideawhat we're going to dive into, I
think it's just really, really,really helpful.
And as far as like genres, yes,there's genre blending that
works well.
Obviously, romanticy is thehottest thing right now.
But all my daughters read isromanticy.
But I have had queries come tome that have like four different
(15:04):
genres in it.
And I'm like, wait a minute, IWhat?
You know, what is this thing?
And so you can, like, say you'resubmitting a domestic thriller
that has a romantic subplot.
That's totally fine becauseyou're gonna have elements of
other genre within the story.
whatever you're writing.
That's just the reality of it.
I need to have a clear pictureof exactly what it is you're
(15:24):
pitching me, so I know who I'mgoing to, what editor I'm going
to send that to.
And I know that the reader isgoing to have the proper
expectations, too.
So if we say it's a domesticthriller and it's reading more
like a romance, well, ourthriller authors, right, our
thriller readers are going to belike, wait a minute, that's not,
What I signed up for, you know,so that helps with proper,
(15:45):
proper pitching, I think.
And then the pitch itself, likethe middle part of your query,
some of the things to look outfor is a lot of times authors
use universal themes in theirpitch.
And yes, we want your book tohave universal themes.
That's what's going to give it auniversal audience.
And, but those themes don't needto be stated in your query
(16:06):
because that doesn't tell meanything about.
Your main character.
And, and so kind of in, in thequery, what I'm looking for and
what most agents are looking forto find out about your book is
We want to know who the maincharacter is, we want to know
what do they want, and we wantto know what's standing in the
way of them getting it, and wewant to know what's at stake if
(16:27):
they don't get it.
That's pretty much it.
That's your pitch.
If you're looking for aformulaic pitch, that is it.
Now, you may need to add alittle bit of setting in there
too, obviously.
And if you have more than onemain character, you may need to
do that twice, but we don't needall the side characters
mentioned.
We could say the best friend,the father, whatever, you know,
keep it on just those maincharacters, but, but that's
(16:49):
really, it can be super, super,super succinct.
And the last thing about queriesthat I'll mention, and then we
can move on and chat aboutqueries if we have, if you have
some other questions, is I'veseen this happen a couple times,
and I wanted to alert authors tothis.
It happens to me too, and that'swhen the query doesn't feel like
(17:10):
it's the query for thesubmission, for the pages that I
have.
So, for example my own storyoriginally.
My young adult novels startedwith a prologue of when the,
the, the teenager, the maincharacter, was a child, and so I
got feedback from an agent,because I didn't have that in my
query, I got feedback from anagent, because that was like the
first seven pages, they're like,this didn't read, Like the
(17:33):
pitch.
So I was confused.
And so I've seen that in acouple of manuscripts that start
with a long prologue, and I'mnot saying don't write a
prologue.
If your book needs a prologue,write a prologue, but make sure
if it's completely differentthan what your first chapter
reads like, you might need towrite a prologue.
consider, consider revising yourpitch.
And I have a crazy example thatI came up with.
(17:54):
This is not a real book and itprobably shouldn't be, but I
wanted to kind of illustratewhat I'm talking about.
So let's say your book startswith a prologue of a dragon
slayer slaying a dragon.
And this is epic battle of thisdragon being slayed.
And then chapter one, thisdragon slayer has left slaying
(18:14):
dragons and now, you know, athome living a quiet life.
And so if your pitch issomething like this, and I
literally wrote this in likefive seconds, so pardon me, but
hopefully illustrates what I'mtrying to illustrate.
if you're, yeah, if you'repitching your query is something
like, Claudia is perfectlycontent living the quiet
American life, but when she'sforced back into the life she
(18:36):
wanted out of to save those sheloved, she must choose.
to save her family and face herbiggest fears, or uproot her
family to protect them.
So there's nothing in thereabout a dragon, and it's not
very specific either.
But if I read that, I'm like,well, I don't know, there's a
lot of themes and biggest fears,it's not specific.
And then I open up the pages andthere's this dragon battle, I'm
(18:58):
like, and it's happened severaltimes, so I kind of revised the
pitch and made it a little morespecific to what this
character's doing and insertedsomething that you would know if
you get to a prologue andthere's dragons, they should be
there.
You're not reading the wrongbook, so I said, okay.
Clawdee retires her sword andswaps slaying dragons with
(19:19):
taking her kids to soccerpractice and birthday parties.
But when a letter from theDragon Slayers Society shows up
at her door, threatening toexpose her if she doesn't
return, she's forced to choose.
Risk her family being hunted bythe dragons families she's
killed, or join forces againwith the Slayers, offending her
family, and pick up a sword onceagain.
So, I mean, I would revise that,revise that, revise that if I
(19:40):
was pitching this manuscript.
But just to kind of let youknow, now the pitch, I know
clearly I'm going to be readingabout dragons, but that this
woman left this to have a quietlife, not involving killing
dragons, because it's dangerousfor her family.
So that's kind of, you know,read your pitch.
And if you, again, make sure itmatches those opening pages that
there's a remnant there,especially if you have a
(20:03):
prologue, because a lot of timesprologues read very differently
than the chapter one.
So I just wanted to kind of, youknow, put everyone that has a
lengthy prologue and alert thereto kind of make sure it's there
because I've been confused a fewtimes.
And the last thing you want isto confuse an agent.
David Gwyn (20:18):
Yeah, no, I think that's spot on.
And I love this because I talkto thriller writers a lot,
obviously, and one of the thingsI've noticed in the genre is I
know that there's a lot ofpeople who are against prologues
and rightfully so.
I mean, if it's not, if it's notdoing work, then it shouldn't be
there.
But thrillers are one of thosegenres where we see prologues a
lot, and I think it's because ithas a lot to, I think you see it
a lot in horror too, because itsets a tone, like it's that
(20:39):
first chapter that like sets thevibe, but then we go back and we
meet the character kind of intheir normal day to day life,
and sometimes if you don't havea prologue, It can, you know,
you can see why thrillers are apopular genre.
And so I've talked to thrillerwriters a lot about this, and
I'm so curious about this.
So let me ask you this question.
It's like hypothetical here.
If you're, if you're somebodywho let's say, for example, your
(21:01):
query letter, you know, yourmain story is about this one
character.
and your prologue is an openingline of like the killer killing
somebody, right?
That's like that scene.
Would you suggest writing thequery letter still about that
character and then cutting theprologue and just starting with
chapter one when you send it toan agent?
(21:22):
Or would you suggest mentioningthat like the story starts with
a murder and then you meet thecharacter, you know, within the
confines of the query and stillusing that prologue?
Am I making sense?
Okay.
Amy Nielsen (21:36):
You are making perfect sense.
And my suggestion would be ifyou wrote the prologue, then you
think it matters.
And so, but I would make surethat, I mean, if it's a
thriller, we know there'smurder, then you don't really
need to reference it and youdon't need to reframe your pitch
because it's going to be obviousit's still the same book.
My point is when your pitchdoesn't match, This the first
(21:56):
pages and so we I need to knowthat when I'm reading the right
manuscript and so like I say ifthis woman slaying dragons in
the prologue and it's 10 pageslong.
And I've just read about herliving the quiet, a quiet life.
I'm like, wait a minute.
Am I reading the same book?
So just make sure that when youread your pitch that it matches
the submission pages.
Whether that's the first five orthe first ten that the, that the
(22:17):
agent is going to know they'rereading the correct manuscript.
And I'm not a hater of prologuesat all.
I took mine out when I, after Igot that review that the pitch
didn't really match the theprologue.
And then editor made me put itback once I got, once I signed
the deal.
So, you know, because It becauseshe, she didn't even know I had
(22:38):
written a prologue.
So that's someone that has agood eye, you know, she could
tell that something was missing.
But yeah, so.
David Gwyn (22:46):
No, that makes a lot of sense.
And when I talk to people whoare out querying and writing a
lot, I think that the biggestthing, and one of the things
that you said too is, well,we're really two things that
stuck out to me that we haven'treally touched on, which is one,
like that you're readingsometimes batches of 10 and 20.
And so like, if you're confusingan agent in your query and
you're not being specific,losing them completely.
(23:08):
Like it, that's so hard.
I can't imagine.
I sometimes sit down to read onequery letter, like give
feedback.
And I'm like, man, can I, Ican't imagine having an an inbox
of 200.
Amy Nielsen (23:17):
Yeah.
Well, and we're not just readingqueries.
And, you know, we're alsoediting.
I do a lot of editorial workwith my clients, I just sent
out, I'm about to send out aneditorial letter today.
And I read through those, like,three or four times before I
send them to my authors, justbecause I want to make sure it
has the right amount of, I lovethis.
And can we work on that?
And so a lot of times I'll gothrough first and I'll say,
(23:40):
these are the things we need tofix.
And then I go back and find allthose beautiful lines that they
wrote, because I, that'simportant too.
And then we're also searchingfor editors.
So the reading queries is sucha, it seems like it's the
largest part, but it's really asmaller part.
And if you do lose.
Then, like I say, if that's, ifit's confusing if that pitch is
that manuscript, it may be thatmanuscript doesn't get read
(24:00):
because that wasn't the promiseof the premise.
That wasn't the promise of thepitch.
So, and if that pitch got meexcited to read your pages, I'm
going to want to see that I'm,that it's, that what you
promised to me is there.
So I think that, I've seen thata few times, and it has been,
and one author did ask me, hesaid should I have sent you my
chapter one instead?
I'm like, no, revise this pitchso it matches, so I can see it
(24:23):
reflected in that, in thatprologue.
Yeah, so that's pretty much whatI have.
Oh, and then of course,obviously, your biography comes
at the end.
I caution you to make yourbiography longer than your
pitch.
We want to know if you have anypublishing credits.
We want to know if you want toshare your day job.
If you don't have any publishingcredits, that's fine.
If you're a part of any writingorganizations, but I have seen a
(24:44):
few queries that, you know, thebio is larger than everything
else.
And so the, the longest part ofyour query should be, should be
that pitch in the middle andstill pitch.
Pretty short, you know, Iusually say like around around
50 ish words for the metadata,like 150 to 200 for the pitch,
and then about 50 ish for thebio.
(25:04):
And that will hit you within apretty good word count for that
query.
David Gwyn (25:09):
Yeah.
Let me ask you about thisbecause I, I have this theory
that I, I would love to eitheryour opinion on if I'm, if I'm
right, or if I'm wrong here, I,I think a lot of people think
about the query as the blurb onthe back of the book or on the
inside jacket.
And I, I actually think thatwhile that's like probably 90
percent true or 75 percent true,it actually, me.
(25:33):
isn't the same as the blurb onthe inside of the cover.
That you're, it's doingdifferent work.
Like, I think grabbing areader's attention who's in,
look, in a bookstore or likereading online is fundamentally
different than grabbing anagent's attention, even though
those two things seem sosimilar.
And I challenge people all thetime when they're talking about
(25:54):
their pitch.
They're like, well, how do Ishorten it to, how do I shorten
it to down to this?
And I'm like, you got toremember that you're not trying
to get an agent.
To buy your book.
You're just getting an agent toopen up the attachment that has
your, your, your next, youropening
Amy Nielsen (26:10):
Absolutely.
The only job of the query is toget the agent to read your
pages.
And the query is basically theresume for your book.
It's not the jacket copy.
It's, it's, again, just thosefew things.
Who's the main character?
What do they want?
What's standing in the way?
What's at stake if they don'tget it?
That's what we need to know.
And that's it.
And that's different thancatching a reader's attention,
(26:30):
of course.
But yeah, so, so that's prettymuch the query.
David Gwyn (26:35):
That wraps up part one of my conversation with
literary agent Amy Nielsen aboutcrafting effective queries and
opening pages.
I really hope you found herinsights as valuable as I did.
Be sure to subscribe to getnotified when part two drops.
Remember, your query letter isessentially the resume for your
book.
It's only job is to get theagent to open your pages, keep
it concise at around 300, 350words, which is what Amy
(26:58):
suggests.
Make sure your metadata is clearand upfront and ensure your
pitch actually matches what anagent will find in your opening
pages.
If you are writing thrillers, besure to follow Amy to find out
when she'll be reopening forsubmissions.
You could find links to connectwith her in the description.
Okay.
Thanks for hanging out with meon Thriller 1 0 1.
If you're enjoying the podcast,please consider leaving a review
(27:20):
wherever you listen to podcasts.
It means a lot.
I read everyone and I'm alwaysexcited when I get a new one.
So I'll catch you on the nextepisode where we will continue
unlocking the secrets to writingcompelling thrillers that get
you traditionally published.
I'll see you next time.
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