July 3, 2025 • 30 mins
There’s something so magnetic about a woman who’s done the deep inner work - and still shows up with an open heart.
That’s exactly who Tonya Peck is.
In this episode of Thrive After 45™, Tonya shares her powerful story of healing, purpose, and transformation.
From navigating the shame of an unplanned pregnancy at 17 to building a life rooted in faith, authenticity, and emotional empowerment.
We talk about what it really takes to step into the fullness of who you are (especially when you’ve spent years feeling fragmented), how to create safe and nourishing community, and how discovering your primal emotional need can be the key to unlocking self-trust and healthier relationships.
Tonya doesn’t sugarcoat the process...she’s honest about the 10-year journey it took to untangle shame and finally let herself be fully loved. But that’s exactly why her story hits so deeply.
She’s lived it. She gets it. And now, she helps other women rewrite their inner scripts and reconnect with their worth.
You’ll walk away from this one with a fresh lens on healing, deeper compassion for yourself, and a reminder that you are allowed to take up space as your whole, unfiltered self.
If you’ve ever felt like you had to hide parts of yourself to belong… this conversation is the breath of fresh air you didn’t know you needed.
✨ Want to explore your own emotional blueprint and primal question? Visit Tonya’s website: motionandmindset.com to get more info, take the free assessment into your Primal Question and/or sign up to receive a weekly newsletter geared toward transformation.
Follow Tonya on Instagram at @motionandmindset to stay inspired by her work and message.
Thank you for spending time with me today on the Thrive After 45™ podcast! If this episode spoke to you, be sure to hit that follow button so you never miss one.
And if you loved it, I’d be so grateful if you left a review - it helps more amazing women like you find this show!
Your journey doesn’t stop here - let’s keep the conversation going! Connect with me at denisedrinkwalter.com, and follow @thethriveafter45podcast for daily insp, tips, and support.
Remember, midlife isn’t the end - it’s just the beginning of a new, exciting chapter! Keep thriving, keep shining, and I’ll see you next time!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello and welcome to ThriveAfter 45, the podcast where we
redefine what's possible inmidlife.
I'm Denise.
Drink your Midlife renewal coachhere to help you embrace your
power.
I.
Purpose and potential.
This is your space to let go ofguilt, navigate transitions,
rediscover joy and thrive foryou by you because of you.
(00:25):
It is such an honor and aprivilege to introduce Tanya
Peck to our show today.
Tanya is a powerhouse oftransformation and wisdom.
A woman whose journey speaks tothe resilience of the human
spirit and the healing power ofpurpose.
With over 18 years of experiencehelping others navigate their
(00:46):
physical, emotional, and mentalwellness, she has personally
impacted the lives of.
Over 1000 women, guiding themtoward clarity, confidence, and
inner peace.
A certified life and wellnesscoach for women.
Tanya draws from a deep well oflived experience from overcoming
the shame and guilt of anunplanned teen pregnancy to
(01:10):
navigating.
35 years of marriage with grace,growth and fierce love.
She's a trauma survivor and aservant leader with a heart
rooted in the health andwellness space.
Known for motivating andempowering others from the
inside out Today.
Tanya helps women identify theirunique, primal question, their
(01:34):
highest emotional need, theinvisible driver behind their
thoughts, beliefs, andbehaviors.
Through this work, she helpsunlock powerful insights that
fuel personal and relationaltransformation.
Get ready to be inspired by herstory and powered by her tools
and reminded that it is nevertoo late to step into the life
(01:57):
you are always meant to live.
Tanya, welcome to Thrive after45.
I can't wait to have ourconversation today.
Well, thank you for having me.
I feel honored to be a part ofyour.
Episode and just, uh, getting toknow you the last couple months.
It's been such a blessing.
(02:17):
It's so, so fun.
I, I just, I love all of thepieces that come together in
what you do.
The emotional piece is a reallybig one for people, isn't it?
Yes.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
So your journey was filled withlike incredible depth over the
(02:40):
years from overcoming what weheard was your early life
challenges to empowering likethousands of women through that
emotional and wellnesstransformation.
Could you take us back?
Is there like a defining momentwhen you realized that your pain
could actually become more ofyour purpose?
(03:01):
Hmm, that's a great question.
Yes, and, uh, sadly it was yearsafter, um, the event occurred.
And if there's anyone, you know,any hope that I can give to
others is not to stay in thatstuck or in that, um, place of
doubt or shame any longer.
Then you need to, like, there'sso many things that you can do
(03:22):
to move forward sooner than Idid, which is why I'm passionate
about sharing, you know, mystory to make my mess the
message, uh, to hopefullyprovide hope and healing for
others.
But you alluded to my unplannedpregnancy, and that happened
when I was a senior in highschool.
Mm-hmm.
And I was at a Christian schoolat the time and in a place of
(03:43):
leadership and mentorship.
And so the fact that thathappened.
Was not only devastatingpersonally just because, you
know, I let myself down.
I felt like I left God down.
But leading, letting down likethe community, um, that I was
involved in, in terms of theschool, the church community, my
friends, my grandparents, I wasthe oldest grandchild.
(04:04):
So you're just like, ugh.
So it was challenging and theguilt and shame that I felt from
that, you know, took 10 yearsfor me to evolve from.
And I really think that it justwas.
Me not feeling like I should beforgiven, that I deserved the
forgiveness that God so freelygives.
And because of someopportunities that I had a safe
(04:28):
place with a core group of womenthat I felt comfortable and
confident to share.
Mm-hmm.
And their impact and theirresponse was one of
understanding of empathy, of,you know, encouragement and the
reason I felt.
Uh, reluctant to share my storyup until that time was because I
(04:49):
was afraid of not being loved ornot being wanted in those
settings of church environmentor friend groups that I felt
like if they knew that about me,I.
They wouldn't, they wouldn'twant to be my friend.
Right.
Really in the core of it.
And so unfortunately as I lookback, uh, the atmosphere was one
in terms of the Christian schooland it was the eighties and it
(05:12):
was all about appearances and,you know, not sharing maybe.
Uh, the depths of our challengesor of our sin, but being above
board and just, you know, kindof acting like there's nothing
going on.
You know, we are all, you know,good people and we're gonna
shift and move in a way thatshows goodness.
(05:33):
Mm-hmm.
And, um.
It was hard.
It was definitely hard.
Yeah.
I bet that those around me knew,you know, uh, more of my story,
right.
But until I really was able toshare it in that safe place and
start to embrace thatforgiveness and that love, that
God so freely gives, butsometimes we don't accept, um,
then that really opened the doorfor more healing and for me to
(05:55):
become.
Who I was and share my storywith others that now I found
have similar stories in theresponse, uh, in the re respect
of maybe not an unplannedpregnancy, but maybe there was
addiction, or maybe there was,you know, a broken home or
trauma that was involved.
And so having the opportunity toshare and kind of connect.
(06:17):
Uh, with women, um, especiallyas we're getting older and
starting to see, you know, learnfrom our mistakes or to be, uh,
speak into those, um, that areyounger and say, okay, this is
what I did, but here's how I canhelp you.
Don't take 10 years, you know,to share something with someone
that you feel could be really,really sensitive and deep.
(06:38):
Right?
Um, because there is that loveand acceptance and we just have
to lean into those safe people.
Right.
So, so, so many things arecoming up as you're sharing your
journey.
Yeah.
And one thing that's reallyresonating for me is, is there
any tips that you can provide tohelp people find.
(07:00):
That community.
Find those people who you cantrust and know that they are a
safe space for you to be able toshare some more of your
authentic self, whatever thatneeds to be for you.
Sure.
Definitely.
(07:20):
I would say faith places, youknow, whether that's a church,
whether that's a nonprofit,whether there's, you know,
people kind of, that arelike-minded.
And when you start to maybeshare those connections and get
to know someone and feeling alittle bit safer to open up
those conversations anddialogues and boundaries I feel
like are important.
You know, sometimes maybe wefeel like everyone is going to
(07:44):
be loving and accepting, and soit's kind of finding that
balance of not.
Holding your heart, you know,captive and being an island,
because I felt like that was,um, safer.
Yeah.
But to feel that vulnerabilityand to share with someone and
maybe just share a little piece,right.
And see if that starts to buildthat connection and that
(08:06):
stronger bond.
And if they aren't.
Ready for it.
Maybe they're in a differentplace then.
Mm-hmm.
You kind of know it before,maybe you shared all of your
heart and then, you know, werein a situation where you didn't
get the response or the, um,understanding that you were
hoping for.
So I would say in faith places,definitely.
In, you know, the workplace, inyour community, just kind of
(08:30):
being aware, right.
Sometimes the people that we arearound or maybe cross paths with
could be.
An amazing friend that we justdidn't, haven't even met yet.
So I think being aware of thosepeople in the places that we
frequent, you know, invitingsomeone for coffee, kind of
building that bridge and beingthe first one.
(08:50):
'cause I know sometimes it'seasy again for us to all sit in
our house and be like, well,someone if wants to be my
friend, they know where I liveand they should come knock on
the door.
Yeah, right.
Text me.
But to be the person that takesthat first initial step, whether
that's coffee or lunch, orgetting to know them and through
those conversations and thatgetting to know each other,
you'll be able to know a littlemore intuitively if this is
(09:12):
someone that you would like toshare more of you, um, and
create that bond.
Yeah, I, what you said there wasreally important from what I'm
hearing, is that intuitive hit.
Mm-hmm.
Sharing little bits, but reallytuning into does this feel like
a connection that I can actuallyuse as a support to be able to
(09:35):
share what's on my heart.
So I like the idea of the slowand steady and creating those,
um, bonds.
And that takes time, doesn't it?
Yeah, absolutely.
It does take time.
Yeah.
Yes.
And give yourself that grace totake that time to be able to do
that work for you, by youbecause of you.
(09:57):
Right.
And I, I'm, I'm, I'm going tosay that I am so glad that
you've taken the, the pathyou've taken.
I always believe that everythinghappens the way it needs to
happen.
The way it does, even thoughwhen we're in the midst of it,
it's like, what have I done todeserve all this on my head?
(10:23):
Thank you very much.
Exactly.
So I believe in my heart, Tanya,that that 10 year span was there
for a purpose and a reason, andto help.
Help you do the work that youget to do now so that other, you
see the value of not holding andmaking yourself, excuse me,
(10:43):
divided out.
Mm-hmm.
And segregated out into sectionsand pieces.
And like you were saying, likeHere's the me on the outside in
that group, and here's the meout there, and it fragments us,
and then we don't know who weare anymore because we're
playing so many roles in ourlives.
Do you find that with yourclients as well, or is that.
(11:03):
Yes.
Something common.
Yeah, a million percent.
I think as we are cautious aboutbeing our authentic self, like
you said, we, you know, kind ofmorph into who we think other
people will want us to be.
Yeah, yeah.
And especially based on kind ofour needs.
For me, just connecting the dotsas I grew up, right or wrong,
(11:24):
you know, and this work with theprimal question and some of
those things, we really startback at our family of origin,
but.
Our parents.
Kind of like when I was aparent, sometimes you're in
survival mode and you're justtrying to get food on the table.
You're trying to get to the nextthing.
And so it's definitelyconnecting the dots in how our
childhood, how we were broughtup, the situations that
(11:44):
occurred, is definitely not tore reflect in a place of blame
because I really feel that themajority of us are just doing
our best.
Yeah.
And we're, you know, doing whatwe know at the time.
Yep.
And.
Sometimes the way that the dotsare connected aren't from our
parents, but maybe, um, anoutside family member mm-hmm.
That maybe, you know, um, hurtus in a way, you know, that left
(12:06):
an imprint.
Mm-hmm.
And so all of those types of,um, just awareness and pieces as
we.
Grow and move and um, and forme, the am I wanted am I loved
and so, and for my clients aswell.
Mm-hmm.
Just being secure in who we are.
Mm-hmm.
And knowing that it's okay ifwe're not for everyone.
(12:31):
Ab I think the loved and wanted,we want every, I want everyone
to like me.
Yeah.
I want everyone to, to, to wannabe my friend.
Like, I want people to think I'mfun and you know, I have.
Cute clothes, like, I don'tknow, whatever that is.
But, um, to just know that if wearen't, you know, connecting
with someone that it's not us,you know, that we, it's just not
(12:51):
a fit and it's not somethingthat we need to change to be
someone different.
Right.
Um, it's just the person that,you know, there's someone out
there meant to have more of ourtime and effort and energy.
Mm-hmm.
And so to be really mindful thatwe shouldn't feel the need to
change or shift, um, in a waythat.
Can be accepting of others, butwhich wanna be in a place where
(13:14):
we are accepted as we are,right?
That we come from a place of,instead of am I loved and am I
wanted, and trying to changethose behaviors to get that
answer, to just know that I'mrooted, you know, in I, I am
loved, I am wanted, um, I'msecure.
You know, I have that, thatfoundation of, um, confidence
(13:36):
really to help us move forwardin a, in a healthier way.
Yeah.
And I love what you're saying.
The healthier way is key, isn'tit?
Mm-hmm.
And do you, I don't know if youfind this, but I, I notice that
the things that we tellourselves that people are going,
I'm going to be accepted when Ido it this way, and I do it that
way.
(13:56):
Those are our thoughts, thoseare our expectations based on
our.
Vision not based on what otherpeople are thinking and seeing
and feeling.
It's based on our interpretationof what we think and we can't
Absolutely.
And we can't think for others.
Right, right.
Yeah.
So I think it's reallyimportant.
(14:18):
And if you can speak to this aswell, how you share.
Your energy overall is also areflection of what energy comes
back to you.
So if you're always doubtingyourself, you're sending that
energy out, and then the peopleyou're connecting with, I find.
They're doubting you as well, sothe energy that's coming back
(14:40):
and forth doesn't fit.
And then you try to changethings, but you're not gonna
change it because it's stemmingfrom you anyway.
Exactly, yes.
We just keep chasing each otherin circles.
Who the heck are you?
Like, I don't know.
Who do you want me to be and,yes, exactly.
And it's exhausting, you know,when we do that too, just
(15:02):
constantly, you know, thinkingabout.
What should I say?
What should I do?
How should I act?
So you're right in terms of thequestion of how to bring your, I
guess, who you are forward, isthat right?
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For me, I think, uh, it firststarts with just having a faith
foundation to know who I am inmm-hmm.
(15:24):
God's eyes, um, in, uh, thatreally.
The only person ideally, that weshould aim to please is God.
And um, you know, others arejust, uh, nice to have, I guess,
and being in alignment with yourvalues and what you stand for
and what means something foryou.
And then coming to others inwith those, um, values.
(15:49):
First and foremost, um, so youknow that you're acting and
responding in a way that is trueto you.
Mm-hmm.
Which then can bring thatconfidence.
Um, and that, um, just yourgifts, right?
Really focusing on the giftsthat you have to give others and
maximizing that and using thatas your platform to make change.
You know, I talk about to be thechange that you wanna see in the
(16:10):
world, right?
Where, you know, a lot ofpeople, especially, you know.
It's crazy times, um, that wewant someone else to take that
first step.
Like whether it's with afriendship or whether it's a
life change or a relationshipchange, but really to know that
we have that capacity and thatleadership to make those
changes, have those hardconversations, you know, be the
(16:31):
light in a world where we feelthere needs more light and joy.
Right?
So taking that, taking thatfirst step and having that
confidence to do so, um, just bybeing true to yourself.
Right.
Right.
I love that.
So, so you've mentioned aboutprimal question.
Mm-hmm.
Can you speak more to what areyou referring to in regards to
that and how you help peoplediscover their highest emotional
(16:57):
needs?
I.
Absolutely.
So initially it started aroundfitness.
Um, I've been in the fitnessindustry for 10 plus years, and
as I was evolving into personalcoaching, the ladies and men
that I was working with,sometimes they have been trying
to achieve a goal, whether it bea weight loss or um, more
consistency, all of those typesof things.
(17:19):
And they kept hitting a wall.
Mm-hmm.
And so, as much as sometimes weall know.
The behaviors.
And a lot of times things arefocused on the behaviors of
Right as it relates to wellness.
Like, do, do this, don't dothat.
Like, you know, and then, right.
We sometimes get in our headabout, well, if I was a good
person or if I was, you know,better at being more consistent,
or if I was stronger or just,and then it kind of turns into,
(17:41):
um, something that we are.
Doubting ourselves and puttingourselves down and in our
internal self-talk, you know,tends to be affected.
So yeah, as I was looking in thefitness area, I thought, okay,
you know, most of the timepeople know.
What they need to do.
Mm-hmm.
You know, we know where to gofrom point A to point B and C,
but what is keeping them fromachieving that?
(18:04):
Mm-hmm.
You know, what is the driver?
So instead of focusing onbehaviors, focusing on the core,
the core needs, and what isshaping those beliefs and those
feelings, that then leads toeither healthy behaviors.
Or unhealthy behaviors, right?
As a result.
So the primal question with MikeFoster and finding, um, the
(18:25):
seven primal questions, and inlearning that framework, it
really spoke to me and my lifeand the things that I went
through because instead of, andI'll explain the seven
questions, but as it.
Frames your needs.
Mm-hmm.
And that as you are continuingto evolve and grow as a person
and into adulthood, your primarygoal is to get.
(18:49):
A yes answered to the very needthat we need, right?
And that a lot of times is justbased on our family of origin.
So the, um, primal questions,again, it's, it's not a science,
it's an art.
We can, we all have a little bitof all of this and so, you know,
it's not a one size fits all, oryou don't wanna put someone in a
(19:10):
box and say, you definitely arethis.
But basically it goes around.
Um, the seven questions are one,am I safe?
Am I secure?
Am I loved?
Am I wanted, am I successful?
Am I good enough and do I havepurpose?
(19:30):
And those questions, one of us,all of us have one kind of
driver, I would say.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And due to, um, the multipledivorces in my childhood, the
fact that there was, you know,a, my mother was constant, but
she was usually navigatinghealth and mental health
challenges.
The males in my family, therewas.
(19:51):
Ended up being six divorces, youknow, there was a, not a
constant.
Right.
So that kind of led me on that,um, ship shafing, if you will,
you know, about Sure.
What I need to be, to beaccepted and wanted.
And so really for me, my primaryneed is to feel loved and to
feel wanted.
Mm-hmm.
And when I'm in thoseenvironments and I'm getting a
(20:11):
yes, and then you're, you know,as a person, more confident.
We're living our best self.
We're like, we've got this.
Like bring it on.
Right?
But when we're in thoseenvironments, or maybe those
relationship situations, worksituations where for me that am
I wanted or loved as beingquestioned, right.
And maybe answered with a no ora maybe.
(20:31):
Maybe yes.
That's when those.
Maybe unhealthier behaviorsstart to kick in where it's
like, okay, I'm not feeling thatthey love or want me, so what am
I gonna do to change that sothey do want and love me, right?
And where that's where it'schanging our behaviors or maybe
changing our beliefs, you know,to fit in or to, you know, all
(20:52):
of those things that can lead toreally not us being our
authentic self.
Right?
But the core need is driving.
To get that answer, uh, to ayes.
And so as I looked back on my,um, you know, experience in high
school and feeling like I letpeople down, mm-hmm.
I, it's, that still happened.
But instead of looking back atthat and thinking what was wrong
(21:13):
with me?
Like why, what did you know thatI was flawed or that there was,
I was a bad person for makingsome of those decisions.
Really, as I looked back, it wasmy.
Way of trying to feel loved andwanted.
Right.
And the biggest way that I knewto do that, or thought was in
physical relationships.
Mm-hmm.
So when I wasn't feeling secure,that was my go-to.
(21:35):
I always had a boyfriend.
I always had one in the wingsbefore I broke up with another
one.
Like I didn't know how to bealone.
And that.
It terrified me.
Right?
So with the primal question,it's been, I, it initially
started in more of a fitness,you know, um, sure.
Platform.
But then as I started to learnmore about it and see the bigger
picture, I was like, holysmokes, like this can connect so
(21:59):
many dots.
Dots because again, you justkeep maybe ha getting.
Those same roadblocks or thosesame behaviors or those same
thoughts and you're just like,where is this coming from?
And to be able to get reallydeep and figure out that this is
how I operate, this is what, um,means something to me.
This is why maybe unhealthybehaviors arise and to have more
(22:21):
awareness.
So then instead of taking in myexample, like 10 years.
Yeah.
To unwind, you know, throw theball of yarn.
Then you can be like, okay, holdup.
Like in that situation where I'min a relationship or, or in a
friendship that they're givingme a look or they're, I'm
getting a vibe.
Yeah.
They might not live or want meanymore.
I can be like, okay, this hasmore to do about them.
(22:44):
Right.
You know?
Then me and I know who I am andI can be secure in that and, and
if they don't choose to have meas a friend, that's okay.
Right.
Yeah.
And to have that agency that,and so it doesn't send you, send
you into a spiral of all these,you know, other behaviors that
you can kind of stand firm init.
Know that this is who you are,know that this is, you know, um,
(23:06):
how you are wired.
And ultimately the thing that weneed most, we give the best.
So kind of the full circle isfor those of us that have one of
those as our questions, right?
That's what we pour into othersbest so I can provide love.
In amazing ways, you know, to myfriends and my family and I see
(23:27):
them and I, you know, I think ofthem first, um, in terms of the
wanted, like if there's someoneI teach spin classes and if
there's a new person or someonethat feels a little bit, looks a
little bit lost, boom, I'mthere, you know, I'm making sure
that they are feeling included.
And so I think the beautifulthing is seeing how we're wired.
Why we make the decisions thatwe do.
(23:48):
Um, being aware to make betterdecisions, right?
To have healthier relationships,and then ultimately to lean into
the gifts that we were given asa result and be able to really
maximize those because as we'rehealthier are gifts and our, um,
you know, uh, just.
(24:08):
Pouring into others will be themost authentic, the most amazing
way that we can do that, uh,right.
And make that change So.
So that's kind of the fullcircle about the primal
questions and how it can impactand connect the dots not just in
our past, but in our present andthen ultimately, right.
Amazing impact for our future,right?
(24:29):
It you can take that informationnot only see, um.
Where in the seven questions youland, in terms of which one is
most prominent, and you mighthave a few, I don't know.
Yeah, sure.
Right?
Mm-hmm.
But it also mirrors your gift.
Mm-hmm.
When you put it into action, ifit's a area of need.
(24:52):
I love that.
So.
I know in our show notes we willhave, um, the information in
order for people to connect withyou.
Sure.
So is there a specific placethat you would tell people
auditorily right now?
So in case somebody doesn't havetime to check the show notes
(25:13):
Sure.
Where can they go to get thiskind of information through you?
How does that work?
Absolutely.
The, the best place to go is tomy website.
It's motion and mindset.com andthere just is a little bit more
about me, but there is, on thatfirst page and a free
assessment, it's um, just a fewquestions.
(25:34):
Literally takes three minutesand it's confidential.
Yeah.
So the results, um, will come tome.
I will, you know, look at theassessment, see what questions
you tend to lean more towards.
Respond to you in an email with,you know, kind of the, the
question that seems to be mostprominent.
Um, what maybe a scramble interms of like unhealthy
(25:56):
behaviors might look like, whatyour gifts would look like and
just kind of start to create adialogue or at least get the
wheels turning a little bit andsee if that makes sense.
Again, since it's not like a, aperfect science, sometimes, like
you said, of course, we may feelneeds that need to be met in one
way, in maybe our marriagerelationship where if we have a
career.
(26:16):
We might feel like there's otherthings that are important in
those environments, so it's agood place to start, start.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and then there's um, youknow, a free consultation again,
if someone took the assessment,gets information, has more
questions, or wants to know moreabout like, what do I do with
this?
Yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
Then there can be moreconversation as it results from
(26:37):
there, so Perfect.
Perfect.
Yeah.
So that would be a good place tostart.
Wonderful.
Do you have any closing commentsthat you would love to share
with our audience, um, to helpthem do whatever is resonating
with them right now through ourconversation?
Any words, extra words ofwisdom?
(26:59):
'cause I know you've got tons ofwords of wisdom, but is there
anything there you would love toshare with the audience before
we say our goodbyes?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, the, the primary thing isthat growth is not linear.
I wish it was, I mean, it wouldbe amazing to say, you know,
(27:20):
we're just gonna keep ridingthat uphill, you know, we're
gonna be growing, we're gonna bemaximizing, we're doing all
those things, but life happensand we're human.
And sometimes we have thosedays, or maybe weeks or months
where we're just like, what isgoing on?
Mm-hmm.
Whether it relates to ourhealth.
Physical health, mental health,maybe even relationships.
You know, I feel like as youknow, in marriage relationships,
(27:42):
it can be on a upswing, and thenother times you're just like, oh
my, we need separate vacations.
So when those moments happen orthoughts happen, to just know
that it's okay, that it doesn'tmean that it's not for you, that
it's not a goal that's, um, notstill worthy of pursuing a
relationship that doesn't needmore, you know, um, effort into
(28:05):
it.
But to just know that those daysare gonna happen and that it's,
um, it's still meant to be andto keep, keep growing, keep
learning, because it's so mucheasier to stay stuck.
Uh, I recently heard somethingthat said fear is free, and
that's not wrong.
Like, our mind wants to go tothe easiest.
Solution.
Mm-hmm.
(28:25):
Quickest solution.
And most often it's notbenefiting us at all.
Right.
Um, but it, and it could be thatfear or that stuck or the, or
that mindset of just like, well,that was my family and it just
is what it is and yeah, I can'tchange it.
And woe is me.
And it's like, no, we have theopportunity every single day to
(28:46):
make it either our excuse.
To stay stuck or our reason tobe different, to grow and to
continue to pursue and who Godintended us to be.
So I would just say, hang inthere.
Growth is not a steady incline.
There's bumps and wobbles andyou know, pitfalls and all the
things, but it's still a millionpercent worth continuing that
(29:09):
growth opportunity.
Absolutely.
Thank you so much for your time,your energy, your gifts.
Yeah.
And for the work that you putinto the world and for all the
women, you support it, it's athousand plus.
Now, next time we meet in a yearfrom now, I'm sure it'll be way
(29:32):
higher into the thousandsinstead of just.
2000.
It'll probably be way biggerthan that.
So keep doing you.
Thank you so much for being onthe show today.
And make sure you check the shownotes.
Go in, make sure you check thewebsite that Tanya referenced.
Do you wanna say it one moretime just to make sure our
listeners grab it?
(29:52):
Absolutely.
It's motion and mindset.com.
Perfect.
Perfect.
Yes.
Thank you so much.
And to the listeners, make surethat you are following Thrive
after 45.
You don't wanna miss any ofthese incredible conversations
that we get to have every weekand take care of yourselves.
(30:13):
Make sure you do something foryou by you because of you, and
go and check out Tanya's work.
Have a great day everyone.
Bye bye.
Hello and welcome to ThriveAfter 45, the podcast where we
redefine what's possible inmidlife.
I'm Denise.
Drink your Midlife renewal coachhere to help you embrace your
power.
I.
Purpose and potential.
This is your space to let go ofguilt, navigate transitions,
rediscover joy and thrive foryou by you because of you.
(00:25):
It is such an honor and aprivilege to introduce Tanya
Peck to our show today.
Tanya is a powerhouse oftransformation and wisdom.
A woman whose journey speaks tothe resilience of the human
spirit and the healing power ofpurpose.
With over 18 years of experiencehelping others navigate their
(00:46):
physical, emotional, and mentalwellness, she has personally
impacted the lives of.
Over 1000 women, guiding themtoward clarity, confidence, and
inner peace.
A certified life and wellnesscoach for women.
Tanya draws from a deep well oflived experience from overcoming
the shame and guilt of anunplanned teen pregnancy to
(01:10):
navigating.
35 years of marriage with grace,growth and fierce love.
She's a trauma survivor and aservant leader with a heart
rooted in the health andwellness space.
Known for motivating andempowering others from the
inside out Today.
Tanya helps women identify theirunique, primal question, their
(01:34):
highest emotional need, theinvisible driver behind their
thoughts, beliefs, andbehaviors.
Through this work, she helpsunlock powerful insights that
fuel personal and relationaltransformation.
Get ready to be inspired by herstory and powered by her tools
and reminded that it is nevertoo late to step into the life
(01:57):
you are always meant to live.
Tanya, welcome to Thrive after45.
I can't wait to have ourconversation today.
Well, thank you for having me.
I feel honored to be a part ofyour.
Episode and just, uh, getting toknow you the last couple months.
It's been such a blessing.
(02:17):
It's so, so fun.
I, I just, I love all of thepieces that come together in
what you do.
The emotional piece is a reallybig one for people, isn't it?
Yes.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
So your journey was filled withlike incredible depth over the
(02:40):
years from overcoming what weheard was your early life
challenges to empowering likethousands of women through that
emotional and wellnesstransformation.
Could you take us back?
Is there like a defining momentwhen you realized that your pain
could actually become more ofyour purpose?
(03:01):
Hmm, that's a great question.
Yes, and, uh, sadly it was yearsafter, um, the event occurred.
And if there's anyone, you know,any hope that I can give to
others is not to stay in thatstuck or in that, um, place of
doubt or shame any longer.
Then you need to, like, there'sso many things that you can do
(03:22):
to move forward sooner than Idid, which is why I'm passionate
about sharing, you know, mystory to make my mess the
message, uh, to hopefullyprovide hope and healing for
others.
But you alluded to my unplannedpregnancy, and that happened
when I was a senior in highschool.
Mm-hmm.
And I was at a Christian schoolat the time and in a place of
(03:43):
leadership and mentorship.
And so the fact that thathappened.
Was not only devastatingpersonally just because, you
know, I let myself down.
I felt like I left God down.
But leading, letting down likethe community, um, that I was
involved in, in terms of theschool, the church community, my
friends, my grandparents, I wasthe oldest grandchild.
(04:04):
So you're just like, ugh.
So it was challenging and theguilt and shame that I felt from
that, you know, took 10 yearsfor me to evolve from.
And I really think that it justwas.
Me not feeling like I should beforgiven, that I deserved the
forgiveness that God so freelygives.
And because of someopportunities that I had a safe
(04:28):
place with a core group of womenthat I felt comfortable and
confident to share.
Mm-hmm.
And their impact and theirresponse was one of
understanding of empathy, of,you know, encouragement and the
reason I felt.
Uh, reluctant to share my storyup until that time was because I
(04:49):
was afraid of not being loved ornot being wanted in those
settings of church environmentor friend groups that I felt
like if they knew that about me,I.
They wouldn't, they wouldn'twant to be my friend.
Right.
Really in the core of it.
And so unfortunately as I lookback, uh, the atmosphere was one
in terms of the Christian schooland it was the eighties and it
(05:12):
was all about appearances and,you know, not sharing maybe.
Uh, the depths of our challengesor of our sin, but being above
board and just, you know, kindof acting like there's nothing
going on.
You know, we are all, you know,good people and we're gonna
shift and move in a way thatshows goodness.
(05:33):
Mm-hmm.
And, um.
It was hard.
It was definitely hard.
Yeah.
I bet that those around me knew,you know, uh, more of my story,
right.
But until I really was able toshare it in that safe place and
start to embrace thatforgiveness and that love, that
God so freely gives, butsometimes we don't accept, um,
then that really opened the doorfor more healing and for me to
(05:55):
become.
Who I was and share my storywith others that now I found
have similar stories in theresponse, uh, in the re respect
of maybe not an unplannedpregnancy, but maybe there was
addiction, or maybe there was,you know, a broken home or
trauma that was involved.
And so having the opportunity toshare and kind of connect.
(06:17):
Uh, with women, um, especiallyas we're getting older and
starting to see, you know, learnfrom our mistakes or to be, uh,
speak into those, um, that areyounger and say, okay, this is
what I did, but here's how I canhelp you.
Don't take 10 years, you know,to share something with someone
that you feel could be really,really sensitive and deep.
(06:38):
Right?
Um, because there is that loveand acceptance and we just have
to lean into those safe people.
Right.
So, so, so many things arecoming up as you're sharing your
journey.
Yeah.
And one thing that's reallyresonating for me is, is there
any tips that you can provide tohelp people find.
(07:00):
That community.
Find those people who you cantrust and know that they are a
safe space for you to be able toshare some more of your
authentic self, whatever thatneeds to be for you.
Sure.
Definitely.
(07:20):
I would say faith places, youknow, whether that's a church,
whether that's a nonprofit,whether there's, you know,
people kind of, that arelike-minded.
And when you start to maybeshare those connections and get
to know someone and feeling alittle bit safer to open up
those conversations anddialogues and boundaries I feel
like are important.
You know, sometimes maybe wefeel like everyone is going to
(07:44):
be loving and accepting, and soit's kind of finding that
balance of not.
Holding your heart, you know,captive and being an island,
because I felt like that was,um, safer.
Yeah.
But to feel that vulnerabilityand to share with someone and
maybe just share a little piece,right.
And see if that starts to buildthat connection and that
(08:06):
stronger bond.
And if they aren't.
Ready for it.
Maybe they're in a differentplace then.
Mm-hmm.
You kind of know it before,maybe you shared all of your
heart and then, you know, werein a situation where you didn't
get the response or the, um,understanding that you were
hoping for.
So I would say in faith places,definitely.
In, you know, the workplace, inyour community, just kind of
(08:30):
being aware, right.
Sometimes the people that we arearound or maybe cross paths with
could be.
An amazing friend that we justdidn't, haven't even met yet.
So I think being aware of thosepeople in the places that we
frequent, you know, invitingsomeone for coffee, kind of
building that bridge and beingthe first one.
(08:50):
'cause I know sometimes it'seasy again for us to all sit in
our house and be like, well,someone if wants to be my
friend, they know where I liveand they should come knock on
the door.
Yeah, right.
Text me.
But to be the person that takesthat first initial step, whether
that's coffee or lunch, orgetting to know them and through
those conversations and thatgetting to know each other,
you'll be able to know a littlemore intuitively if this is
(09:12):
someone that you would like toshare more of you, um, and
create that bond.
Yeah, I, what you said there wasreally important from what I'm
hearing, is that intuitive hit.
Mm-hmm.
Sharing little bits, but reallytuning into does this feel like
a connection that I can actuallyuse as a support to be able to
(09:35):
share what's on my heart.
So I like the idea of the slowand steady and creating those,
um, bonds.
And that takes time, doesn't it?
Yeah, absolutely.
It does take time.
Yeah.
Yes.
And give yourself that grace totake that time to be able to do
that work for you, by youbecause of you.
(09:57):
Right.
And I, I'm, I'm, I'm going tosay that I am so glad that
you've taken the, the pathyou've taken.
I always believe that everythinghappens the way it needs to
happen.
The way it does, even thoughwhen we're in the midst of it,
it's like, what have I done todeserve all this on my head?
(10:23):
Thank you very much.
Exactly.
So I believe in my heart, Tanya,that that 10 year span was there
for a purpose and a reason, andto help.
Help you do the work that youget to do now so that other, you
see the value of not holding andmaking yourself, excuse me,
(10:43):
divided out.
Mm-hmm.
And segregated out into sectionsand pieces.
And like you were saying, likeHere's the me on the outside in
that group, and here's the meout there, and it fragments us,
and then we don't know who weare anymore because we're
playing so many roles in ourlives.
Do you find that with yourclients as well, or is that.
(11:03):
Yes.
Something common.
Yeah, a million percent.
I think as we are cautious aboutbeing our authentic self, like
you said, we, you know, kind ofmorph into who we think other
people will want us to be.
Yeah, yeah.
And especially based on kind ofour needs.
For me, just connecting the dotsas I grew up, right or wrong,
(11:24):
you know, and this work with theprimal question and some of
those things, we really startback at our family of origin,
but.
Our parents.
Kind of like when I was aparent, sometimes you're in
survival mode and you're justtrying to get food on the table.
You're trying to get to the nextthing.
And so it's definitelyconnecting the dots in how our
childhood, how we were broughtup, the situations that
(11:44):
occurred, is definitely not tore reflect in a place of blame
because I really feel that themajority of us are just doing
our best.
Yeah.
And we're, you know, doing whatwe know at the time.
Yep.
And.
Sometimes the way that the dotsare connected aren't from our
parents, but maybe, um, anoutside family member mm-hmm.
That maybe, you know, um, hurtus in a way, you know, that left
(12:06):
an imprint.
Mm-hmm.
And so all of those types of,um, just awareness and pieces as
we.
Grow and move and um, and forme, the am I wanted am I loved
and so, and for my clients aswell.
Mm-hmm.
Just being secure in who we are.
Mm-hmm.
And knowing that it's okay ifwe're not for everyone.
(12:31):
Ab I think the loved and wanted,we want every, I want everyone
to like me.
Yeah.
I want everyone to, to, to wannabe my friend.
Like, I want people to think I'mfun and you know, I have.
Cute clothes, like, I don'tknow, whatever that is.
But, um, to just know that if wearen't, you know, connecting
with someone that it's not us,you know, that we, it's just not
(12:51):
a fit and it's not somethingthat we need to change to be
someone different.
Right.
Um, it's just the person that,you know, there's someone out
there meant to have more of ourtime and effort and energy.
Mm-hmm.
And so to be really mindful thatwe shouldn't feel the need to
change or shift, um, in a waythat.
Can be accepting of others, butwhich wanna be in a place where
(13:14):
we are accepted as we are,right?
That we come from a place of,instead of am I loved and am I
wanted, and trying to changethose behaviors to get that
answer, to just know that I'mrooted, you know, in I, I am
loved, I am wanted, um, I'msecure.
You know, I have that, thatfoundation of, um, confidence
(13:36):
really to help us move forwardin a, in a healthier way.
Yeah.
And I love what you're saying.
The healthier way is key, isn'tit?
Mm-hmm.
And do you, I don't know if youfind this, but I, I notice that
the things that we tellourselves that people are going,
I'm going to be accepted when Ido it this way, and I do it that
way.
(13:56):
Those are our thoughts, thoseare our expectations based on
our.
Vision not based on what otherpeople are thinking and seeing
and feeling.
It's based on our interpretationof what we think and we can't
Absolutely.
And we can't think for others.
Right, right.
Yeah.
So I think it's reallyimportant.
(14:18):
And if you can speak to this aswell, how you share.
Your energy overall is also areflection of what energy comes
back to you.
So if you're always doubtingyourself, you're sending that
energy out, and then the peopleyou're connecting with, I find.
They're doubting you as well, sothe energy that's coming back
(14:40):
and forth doesn't fit.
And then you try to changethings, but you're not gonna
change it because it's stemmingfrom you anyway.
Exactly, yes.
We just keep chasing each otherin circles.
Who the heck are you?
Like, I don't know.
Who do you want me to be and,yes, exactly.
And it's exhausting, you know,when we do that too, just
(15:02):
constantly, you know, thinkingabout.
What should I say?
What should I do?
How should I act?
So you're right in terms of thequestion of how to bring your, I
guess, who you are forward, isthat right?
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For me, I think, uh, it firststarts with just having a faith
foundation to know who I am inmm-hmm.
(15:24):
God's eyes, um, in, uh, thatreally.
The only person ideally, that weshould aim to please is God.
And um, you know, others arejust, uh, nice to have, I guess,
and being in alignment with yourvalues and what you stand for
and what means something foryou.
And then coming to others inwith those, um, values.
(15:49):
First and foremost, um, so youknow that you're acting and
responding in a way that is trueto you.
Mm-hmm.
Which then can bring thatconfidence.
Um, and that, um, just yourgifts, right?
Really focusing on the giftsthat you have to give others and
maximizing that and using thatas your platform to make change.
You know, I talk about to be thechange that you wanna see in the
(16:10):
world, right?
Where, you know, a lot ofpeople, especially, you know.
It's crazy times, um, that wewant someone else to take that
first step.
Like whether it's with afriendship or whether it's a
life change or a relationshipchange, but really to know that
we have that capacity and thatleadership to make those
changes, have those hardconversations, you know, be the
(16:31):
light in a world where we feelthere needs more light and joy.
Right?
So taking that, taking thatfirst step and having that
confidence to do so, um, just bybeing true to yourself.
Right.
Right.
I love that.
So, so you've mentioned aboutprimal question.
Mm-hmm.
Can you speak more to what areyou referring to in regards to
that and how you help peoplediscover their highest emotional
(16:57):
needs?
I.
Absolutely.
So initially it started aroundfitness.
Um, I've been in the fitnessindustry for 10 plus years, and
as I was evolving into personalcoaching, the ladies and men
that I was working with,sometimes they have been trying
to achieve a goal, whether it bea weight loss or um, more
consistency, all of those typesof things.
(17:19):
And they kept hitting a wall.
Mm-hmm.
And so, as much as sometimes weall know.
The behaviors.
And a lot of times things arefocused on the behaviors of
Right as it relates to wellness.
Like, do, do this, don't dothat.
Like, you know, and then, right.
We sometimes get in our headabout, well, if I was a good
person or if I was, you know,better at being more consistent,
or if I was stronger or just,and then it kind of turns into,
(17:41):
um, something that we are.
Doubting ourselves and puttingourselves down and in our
internal self-talk, you know,tends to be affected.
So yeah, as I was looking in thefitness area, I thought, okay,
you know, most of the timepeople know.
What they need to do.
Mm-hmm.
You know, we know where to gofrom point A to point B and C,
but what is keeping them fromachieving that?
(18:04):
Mm-hmm.
You know, what is the driver?
So instead of focusing onbehaviors, focusing on the core,
the core needs, and what isshaping those beliefs and those
feelings, that then leads toeither healthy behaviors.
Or unhealthy behaviors, right?
As a result.
So the primal question with MikeFoster and finding, um, the
(18:25):
seven primal questions, and inlearning that framework, it
really spoke to me and my lifeand the things that I went
through because instead of, andI'll explain the seven
questions, but as it.
Frames your needs.
Mm-hmm.
And that as you are continuingto evolve and grow as a person
and into adulthood, your primarygoal is to get.
(18:49):
A yes answered to the very needthat we need, right?
And that a lot of times is justbased on our family of origin.
So the, um, primal questions,again, it's, it's not a science,
it's an art.
We can, we all have a little bitof all of this and so, you know,
it's not a one size fits all, oryou don't wanna put someone in a
(19:10):
box and say, you definitely arethis.
But basically it goes around.
Um, the seven questions are one,am I safe?
Am I secure?
Am I loved?
Am I wanted, am I successful?
Am I good enough and do I havepurpose?
(19:30):
And those questions, one of us,all of us have one kind of
driver, I would say.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And due to, um, the multipledivorces in my childhood, the
fact that there was, you know,a, my mother was constant, but
she was usually navigatinghealth and mental health
challenges.
The males in my family, therewas.
(19:51):
Ended up being six divorces, youknow, there was a, not a
constant.
Right.
So that kind of led me on that,um, ship shafing, if you will,
you know, about Sure.
What I need to be, to beaccepted and wanted.
And so really for me, my primaryneed is to feel loved and to
feel wanted.
Mm-hmm.
And when I'm in thoseenvironments and I'm getting a
(20:11):
yes, and then you're, you know,as a person, more confident.
We're living our best self.
We're like, we've got this.
Like bring it on.
Right?
But when we're in thoseenvironments, or maybe those
relationship situations, worksituations where for me that am
I wanted or loved as beingquestioned, right.
And maybe answered with a no ora maybe.
(20:31):
Maybe yes.
That's when those.
Maybe unhealthier behaviorsstart to kick in where it's
like, okay, I'm not feeling thatthey love or want me, so what am
I gonna do to change that sothey do want and love me, right?
And where that's where it'schanging our behaviors or maybe
changing our beliefs, you know,to fit in or to, you know, all
(20:52):
of those things that can lead toreally not us being our
authentic self.
Right?
But the core need is driving.
To get that answer, uh, to ayes.
And so as I looked back on my,um, you know, experience in high
school and feeling like I letpeople down, mm-hmm.
I, it's, that still happened.
But instead of looking back atthat and thinking what was wrong
(21:13):
with me?
Like why, what did you know thatI was flawed or that there was,
I was a bad person for makingsome of those decisions.
Really, as I looked back, it wasmy.
Way of trying to feel loved andwanted.
Right.
And the biggest way that I knewto do that, or thought was in
physical relationships.
Mm-hmm.
So when I wasn't feeling secure,that was my go-to.
(21:35):
I always had a boyfriend.
I always had one in the wingsbefore I broke up with another
one.
Like I didn't know how to bealone.
And that.
It terrified me.
Right?
So with the primal question,it's been, I, it initially
started in more of a fitness,you know, um, sure.
Platform.
But then as I started to learnmore about it and see the bigger
picture, I was like, holysmokes, like this can connect so
(21:59):
many dots.
Dots because again, you justkeep maybe ha getting.
Those same roadblocks or thosesame behaviors or those same
thoughts and you're just like,where is this coming from?
And to be able to get reallydeep and figure out that this is
how I operate, this is what, um,means something to me.
This is why maybe unhealthybehaviors arise and to have more
(22:21):
awareness.
So then instead of taking in myexample, like 10 years.
Yeah.
To unwind, you know, throw theball of yarn.
Then you can be like, okay, holdup.
Like in that situation where I'min a relationship or, or in a
friendship that they're givingme a look or they're, I'm
getting a vibe.
Yeah.
They might not live or want meanymore.
I can be like, okay, this hasmore to do about them.
(22:44):
Right.
You know?
Then me and I know who I am andI can be secure in that and, and
if they don't choose to have meas a friend, that's okay.
Right.
Yeah.
And to have that agency that,and so it doesn't send you, send
you into a spiral of all these,you know, other behaviors that
you can kind of stand firm init.
Know that this is who you are,know that this is, you know, um,
(23:06):
how you are wired.
And ultimately the thing that weneed most, we give the best.
So kind of the full circle isfor those of us that have one of
those as our questions, right?
That's what we pour into othersbest so I can provide love.
In amazing ways, you know, to myfriends and my family and I see
(23:27):
them and I, you know, I think ofthem first, um, in terms of the
wanted, like if there's someoneI teach spin classes and if
there's a new person or someonethat feels a little bit, looks a
little bit lost, boom, I'mthere, you know, I'm making sure
that they are feeling included.
And so I think the beautifulthing is seeing how we're wired.
Why we make the decisions thatwe do.
(23:48):
Um, being aware to make betterdecisions, right?
To have healthier relationships,and then ultimately to lean into
the gifts that we were given asa result and be able to really
maximize those because as we'rehealthier are gifts and our, um,
you know, uh, just.
(24:08):
Pouring into others will be themost authentic, the most amazing
way that we can do that, uh,right.
And make that change So.
So that's kind of the fullcircle about the primal
questions and how it can impactand connect the dots not just in
our past, but in our present andthen ultimately, right.
Amazing impact for our future,right?
(24:29):
It you can take that informationnot only see, um.
Where in the seven questions youland, in terms of which one is
most prominent, and you mighthave a few, I don't know.
Yeah, sure.
Right?
Mm-hmm.
But it also mirrors your gift.
Mm-hmm.
When you put it into action, ifit's a area of need.
(24:52):
I love that.
So.
I know in our show notes we willhave, um, the information in
order for people to connect withyou.
Sure.
So is there a specific placethat you would tell people
auditorily right now?
So in case somebody doesn't havetime to check the show notes
(25:13):
Sure.
Where can they go to get thiskind of information through you?
How does that work?
Absolutely.
The, the best place to go is tomy website.
It's motion and mindset.com andthere just is a little bit more
about me, but there is, on thatfirst page and a free
assessment, it's um, just a fewquestions.
(25:34):
Literally takes three minutesand it's confidential.
Yeah.
So the results, um, will come tome.
I will, you know, look at theassessment, see what questions
you tend to lean more towards.
Respond to you in an email with,you know, kind of the, the
question that seems to be mostprominent.
Um, what maybe a scramble interms of like unhealthy
(25:56):
behaviors might look like, whatyour gifts would look like and
just kind of start to create adialogue or at least get the
wheels turning a little bit andsee if that makes sense.
Again, since it's not like a, aperfect science, sometimes, like
you said, of course, we may feelneeds that need to be met in one
way, in maybe our marriagerelationship where if we have a
career.
(26:16):
We might feel like there's otherthings that are important in
those environments, so it's agood place to start, start.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and then there's um, youknow, a free consultation again,
if someone took the assessment,gets information, has more
questions, or wants to know moreabout like, what do I do with
this?
Yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
Then there can be moreconversation as it results from
(26:37):
there, so Perfect.
Perfect.
Yeah.
So that would be a good place tostart.
Wonderful.
Do you have any closing commentsthat you would love to share
with our audience, um, to helpthem do whatever is resonating
with them right now through ourconversation?
Any words, extra words ofwisdom?
(26:59):
'cause I know you've got tons ofwords of wisdom, but is there
anything there you would love toshare with the audience before
we say our goodbyes?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, the, the primary thing isthat growth is not linear.
I wish it was, I mean, it wouldbe amazing to say, you know,
(27:20):
we're just gonna keep ridingthat uphill, you know, we're
gonna be growing, we're gonna bemaximizing, we're doing all
those things, but life happensand we're human.
And sometimes we have thosedays, or maybe weeks or months
where we're just like, what isgoing on?
Mm-hmm.
Whether it relates to ourhealth.
Physical health, mental health,maybe even relationships.
You know, I feel like as youknow, in marriage relationships,
(27:42):
it can be on a upswing, and thenother times you're just like, oh
my, we need separate vacations.
So when those moments happen orthoughts happen, to just know
that it's okay, that it doesn'tmean that it's not for you, that
it's not a goal that's, um, notstill worthy of pursuing a
relationship that doesn't needmore, you know, um, effort into
(28:05):
it.
But to just know that those daysare gonna happen and that it's,
um, it's still meant to be andto keep, keep growing, keep
learning, because it's so mucheasier to stay stuck.
Uh, I recently heard somethingthat said fear is free, and
that's not wrong.
Like, our mind wants to go tothe easiest.
Solution.
Mm-hmm.
(28:25):
Quickest solution.
And most often it's notbenefiting us at all.
Right.
Um, but it, and it could be thatfear or that stuck or the, or
that mindset of just like, well,that was my family and it just
is what it is and yeah, I can'tchange it.
And woe is me.
And it's like, no, we have theopportunity every single day to
(28:46):
make it either our excuse.
To stay stuck or our reason tobe different, to grow and to
continue to pursue and who Godintended us to be.
So I would just say, hang inthere.
Growth is not a steady incline.
There's bumps and wobbles andyou know, pitfalls and all the
things, but it's still a millionpercent worth continuing that
(29:09):
growth opportunity.
Absolutely.
Thank you so much for your time,your energy, your gifts.
Yeah.
And for the work that you putinto the world and for all the
women, you support it, it's athousand plus.
Now, next time we meet in a yearfrom now, I'm sure it'll be way
(29:32):
higher into the thousandsinstead of just.
2000.
It'll probably be way biggerthan that.
So keep doing you.
Thank you so much for being onthe show today.
And make sure you check the shownotes.
Go in, make sure you check thewebsite that Tanya referenced.
Do you wanna say it one moretime just to make sure our
listeners grab it?
(29:52):
Absolutely.
It's motion and mindset.com.
Perfect.
Perfect.
Yes.
Thank you so much.
And to the listeners, make surethat you are following Thrive
after 45.
You don't wanna miss any ofthese incredible conversations
that we get to have every weekand take care of yourselves.
(30:13):
Make sure you do something foryou by you because of you, and
go and check out Tanya's work.
Have a great day everyone.
Bye bye.
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