July 17, 2025 • 39 mins
Pull up a seat, grab your favorite mug, and get cozy ... this one’s a soul-nourishing heart-to-heart.
In today’s episode, I’m joined by the beautiful force that is Karen Rudolf...a woman whose journey through trauma, burnout, divorce, and deep self-discovery led her to become a transformational empowerment coach and creator of the Tranquil Solutions Clarity Tool.
But Karen’s story isn’t some neatly packaged success tale.
She takes us back to moments that cracked her open, including the day she found herself surrounded by sticky notes in her bathroom, clinging to affirmations she didn’t yet believe - because it was all she had to keep going.
What started as survival became something sacred.
Through years of unraveling old stories, owning her voice, and learning to truly know herself, Karen built an entire method rooted in neuroscience, quantum physics, heart-centered healing, and soul-deep alignment.
And now, she’s on a mission to help other women remember who they are and rise.
This conversation is a beautiful reminder it’s okay to fall apart, that healing is not linear, and that the most powerful tools are often born in the darkest seasons.
Inside this episode, you’ll hear:
- How Karen turned a moment of complete despair into a turning point
- Why journaling and self-talk became life-saving tools
- The real story behind her clarity tool (and how it came to her as a download)
- What it actually looks like to come home to yourself after years of people-pleasing, fear, and forgetting your worth
Karen’s energy is grounding, wise, and full of grace - and if you’ve been feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, or just tired of carrying the weight of “doing it all,” this episode will feel like a breath of fresh air.
You can connect with Karen and explore her Tranquil Solutions Clarity Tool, coaching work, and offerings right here:
🔗 www.TranquilSOULutions.com
📱 Follow her on Instagram: @karenrudolf_
🌐 Learn more at: www.TranquilSOULutions.com
Thank you for spending time with me today on the Thrive After 45™ podcast! If this episode spoke to you, be sure to hit that follow button so you never miss one.
And if you loved it, I’d be so grateful if you left a review - it helps more amazing women like you find this show!
Your journey doesn’t stop here - let’s keep the conversation going! Connect with me at denisedrinkwalter.com, and follow @thethriveafter45podcast for daily insp, tips, and support.
Remember, midlife isn’t the end - it’s just the beginning of a new, exciting chapter! Keep thriving, keep shining, and I’ll see you next time!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello and welcome to ThriveAfter 45, the podcast where we
redefine what's possible inmidlife.
I'm Denise, drink Walter, yourmidlife renewal coach here to
help you embrace your power.
Your purpose and your potential.
This is your space to let go ofguilt, navigate, transitions,
(00:20):
rediscover joy and thrive foryou by you because of you.
And today, it is an absolutehonor and a privilege to welcome
Karen Rudolph to our show.
Karen is a transformationalempowerment coach and the
creator of Tranquil.
Soul Solutions Clarity Tool.
(00:40):
Her work is rooted in more than18 years of experience guiding
heart-centered women throughdeep personal breakthroughs.
And her impact has reached over10,000 lives across the globe.
And I am sure that number isrising.
But what makes Karen's voice sopowerful isn't just her
(01:01):
certifications and frameworks.
It's her story.
After a life altering accidentand years of navigating trauma,
burnout, and self rediscovery,she has transformed, formed her
own healing journey into amethod to help others rise.
Her approach is grounded.
In subconscious reprogramming,energetic alignment, breath
(01:25):
work, and holistic wellness, notjust as techniques, but as a way
of life.
Karen supports women in breakingfree from old patterns,
self-doubt and overwhelm so theycan show up.
Speak up.
Live lives aligned with purposeand clarity.
Karen, welcome to Thrive after45.
(01:47):
It's great to have you here.
Oh, it's so powerful.
Thank you.
I'm gonna hire you.
I'm gonna have to hire you asmy, that was awesome.
I, I've had that comment before.
I'm happy to give you my shownotes on that intro.
It's, it's amazing isn't it?
(02:07):
Get different when you're on theother end hearing it.
It really is.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, it really is.
So thank you.
I you're more, oh my gosh, youare so more than welcome and I
can't wait to dig into ourconversation today.
I would absolutely love to hear.
More of your background becauseI know our audience really
(02:30):
resonates with this concept offeeling burnt out, disconnected,
no idea how to put one foot infront of the other.
Can you share a little bit ofyour story so we can really
deepen our connection with youin this conversation today?
Yeah, absolutely.
(02:51):
One of the things I, I trulybelieve it, it starts like way
back when, you know, when we're,when we're young and youthful
and innocent, and life begins tohappen and all of a sudden
something happens and we make itmean whatever we make it mean,
and then your brain looks forevidence to make it the truth.
And then once you keep findingthis evidence, you get.
(03:13):
Caught up in that emotionalloop.
So you get a caught up in thenot enough, not love, not
worthy, all of thoseconversations that, you know,
start creating the identity ofwho you are then ah,'cause your
brain there to support you inkeeping you safe.
(03:34):
So for instance, if I may, um,sure.
I am aging myself here, sothat's okay.
We're over 45, so we can dothat.
We're good with that.
Absolutely, sister.
So, so imagine right back in theday we, you're at the grocery
store with mom, little Johnny.
(03:54):
I'm gonna call you littleJohnny.
Yep.
Then Johnny's at the grocerystore and he goes down the
cereal aisle and for marketingpurposes, they always put the
toys in the boxes on the eyelevel of the kids.
So here, mom's going, come on,come on, pick something and
let's go.
I'm in a hurry.
We gotta, whatever Obama'ssaying, and she wheels the
carriage around the corner andlittle Johnny looks up right at
(04:17):
age five or six and he's like,oh my god, mom left me.
She abandoned me.
Ah, now he gets there and he isreally pissed off that mom left
it right.
So instead of emoting that pissoff getting.
Ask him, because he's not taughthow to communicate at this
(04:39):
point.
You know, he's holding onto thatanger.
And then what happens is he goesto school and the age between
six and 13, he's now starting todiscover girls.
And he, his first girl that he'sattracted to, he makes an
advance towards her veryawkwardly.
And the girl is like, oh, guys,you know?
(05:01):
And she just like P Yeah.
Yeah.
So now he's definitely feelingabandoned by women.
Okay.
In the ages of 13 to 21.
He's now looking for evidencethat other women are gonna start
abandoning him, and then itbecomes all women are gonna
abandon me.
Right.
Mm-hmm.
So we all have similar storiesto that.
(05:22):
Mine personally was I had anexperience when I was five.
I was in school and uh, this wasaround the time when kids would
be seen, not heard.
Right.
And so I already had that, thatbackground noise of, gee, I'm
not worthy enough'cause myparents won't even listen to me,
you know, go out and play kindof thing.
Right?
And then they went to school andwe had.
Now I'm really aging myself.
(05:44):
The, the blackboards.
Yes.
Talk at the eraser.
Yay.
Got it.
And right, I'm sitting in thefront row because I wore glasses
back then.
And, um.
So I'm at the front row and Ihad tiles to do my spelling
words, and I raised my hand andI said, I don't have enough
tiles.
And the teacher startedlaughing, which made the whole
(06:06):
class laugh, and I wasn'tgetting the joke.
And I'm looking around and I'mjust like, awestruck, like, what
the heck?
Like what just happened?
And she, I'll never, I get thechills.
Uh, I'll never forget it camearound to, and that's a visceral
response.
So when you know, when you get avisceral response, and we'll get
back to that later.
Sure.
That is the first clue thatthat's a trigger for you, right?
(06:28):
Okay.
And you have power over thetriggers, so keep that in mind
for sec.
So she comes over to my leftside, she squats down and she
points to this back blackboard,and I have to turn my little
body and it says April Fool'sDay.
And I'm looking at, and theclass is like roaring and I'm
looking at the board go, I hadno relatedness.
(06:51):
My parents never played AprilFool's jokes or anything like
that, and she's laughing and Iwanted to hide underneath the
desk.
But what I made that little girlmind, protective mind, I will
never open my mouth again, rightin fear of being, you know, made
to feel stupid.
'cause I felt stupid.
So in that moment, I calledmyself stupid.
(07:13):
Right.
Uhhuh must just be because Idon't get it.
So what happens is cause andeffect, right?
It's all energy.
For every action, there's anopposite re equal reaction.
So then what happened was Iwould go further in school and
the teacher would call on me andI would say, I don't know.
I don't know.
It became my default, right?
And then into later on in life,whether I knew it or not, I
(07:36):
don't know, became my crutch.
And then it was like, it reallyforwarded my movement forward.
So I went into a career ofnursing, uh, and gave up my
nursing to raise my family.
I was fortunate enough to dothat at the time.
Mm-hmm.
And while I was in nursing.
(07:56):
The doc, uh, doctor had said tome, here's a script.
Discharge this patient.
And I looked at the script.
'cause I've always had a curiousmind and I always played with
manipulative puzzles as a kid.
Oh yeah.
So there's always a connectionbetween what you did back then,
what you're doing now, if you'reon purpose.
Right.
So I always pay withmanipulative puzzles.
(08:17):
So today, fast forward, I docreative problem solving for my
clients.
So I'm looking at the script.
And he says, discharge paperpatient.
And I'm saying, but you'remasking the problem.
You're not getting to the rootcause.
And he's shut up.
They're triggered right back tochildhood.
Shut up.
Kids are to be seen, not heard.
(08:38):
And I'm like, but, but he goes,there are other people that can
take your job.
And I was like, whoa.
So when I gave up nursing toraise my family, divorce
happened.
Wasn't planning on it.
Didn't expect it.
It came outta Lewis field of.
And I had three small childrenat the time and I was like, what
am I gonna do now?
Mm-hmm.
And I was so the victim, I wasthe wallflower back then, kid.
(09:00):
You not, there's no way I couldhave looked you in the eye.
There's no way I could, I wouldwalk like this behind my phone,
you know?
Wow.
Yeah.
It was like I was really.
I didn't know how to be, Ididn't even know who I was.
Right.
Other than a mother and a wife,and a housekeeper and a taxi cab
driver and all that I had.
Yeah, no.
(09:21):
When I was getting divorced, mygirlfriend said to me, Karen,
well what's your dream?
And I looked at her and I went,my what?
She says, your dream.
And I was like.
I went home, I had to look it upin the dictionary.
We, we didn't have online backthen.
I had to look, of course, criedmy eyes out because I had no
relatedness to what a dream wasand I thought.
(09:44):
Something's gotta shift.
And then of course I was goingthrough the divorce and I was so
victim, like he did this and hedid that and he's, how can he do
this to us?
And, and then I realized threefingers were coming back at me.
I'm so busy out there pointingat everything else.
Where can I be responsible?
But I didn't know what to dowith that.
I was.
Victim forever.
(10:04):
My mother was a victim.
It was like, how do you besomething you don't know how to
be, right?
So, uh, my paralegal, he wasamazing.
Cliff, I'll never forget him.
Oh God.
He said to, you know, I wouldcall him Chacha.
Of course, right?
Of course.
(10:25):
I can listen to you all daylong.
However, when you get before thejudge, he's not gonna listen
like that.
And he says there's a chance youcould lose your children because
your former is going after them.
Yeah.
And all of a sudden a mama bearcame out and I went, yeah.
Over my dead body, you know,watch me.
Yeah.
And I didn't know what thatlooked like, but it made me stop
(10:47):
and pause.
So that was the beginning of my,how to create what I've created
today moving forward.
Right.
So out of situations, it's likeyou never know what
possibility's gonna come out ofit.
So that was the beginning of mybutterfly technique, which I
created, which I'll talk aboutin a minute.
Sure.
And.
(11:08):
So I paused and I was like, wow,I'm my children's first.
Teacher, I'm their first mentor.
Mm-hmm.
What am I showing them by beingthe victim and like, how can I
shift this?
And it was just, I'm getting allmy Yeah, no kidding.
I hear you.
So anyway, anyway, uh, I movedforward in communication
(11:31):
courses.
It was the best thing I couldhave done because I really got
president to.
As adults, we really don't knowhow to communicate.
Mm.
Because we weren't taught toschool.
Of course we were talk nouns andverbs, putting them together and
you know, but not to speak.
Yeah.
So I had no idea what that wasgonna take me, but that was the
best thing I could have everdone for myself.
And then I kept, I remembersitting down one night he had
(11:53):
taken, uh, my former had takenthe children for the first
weekend away and I was like, Iwas hiding behind my kids and I
didn't know, ah.
Yeah.
Fall my face.
I talked about Kela myself, andI went through this whole gamut.
My girlfriend's like, oh, you'renot, you're gonna come over my
house, you know?
Yeah.
(12:15):
Panic.
But I remember going home afterthat and I pulled out a piece of
paper and I said, what are allmy strengths?
Nice.
Because somebody said to me, areyou going back to nursing?
And I went.
Well, you know, I'm down inFlorida.
I have a New York, New Jersey,and Arizona license, but I don't
have a Florida one.
What am I gonna do?
(12:35):
You know, and it was just like,so I sat down with all my
strengths and I said, what can Ibuild with this?
That's always been the questionin my, what can I build with
this as a creative, right?
What can I build with this?
What can I do?
Right?
So I started looking at, okay, Ido six hours of carpooling.
I could be a taxi cab driver.
(12:56):
Scratch that one.
And I started looking at him,and then I got down to the last
ones that really resonated withme and I went, wow.
Like, you know, I can talk topeople.
I've always, you know, eventhough I'm shy and I, I'm a
introvert, yeah, I can still.
People would come to me foradvice.
Alta, they used to call me TheDear Abby, which was the most
(13:21):
dear Abby.
Yes.
Yeah, so that was the beginningof my coaching career.
I went to back to school and Isaid, I'm gonna be, you know, my
sister-in-law said to me, you'dmake a great life coach.
And I'm like, what's that?
You know?
So I took that in mycommunication and then I was
like, nah, that's not quite.
(13:42):
Making it right.
So, and I loved, I couldn't getenough quantum physics in
neuroscience.
Mm-hmm.
I delved into that, like therewas no tomorrow.
It was like the universe opensup for me and I was like, I
don't have no idea why I'm doingthis, but I'm just gonna go with
the flow.
And it was just like.
Sensory overload.
It was like, wow.
(14:02):
Like the whole universe openedup for me during that, and I was
still looking for somethingoutside of myself.
Right.
And I started looking for somepeace in my life because my
divorce sadly had gone on forlike four years, and very
costly, to say the least.
But I was still, in that time Iwas searching for something.
(14:22):
So I studied world religions.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm like, mm-hmm.
I can't quite find my place inthat, but I'm still looking
outside of myself.
But what's the common thread?
There was compassion.
Okay.
What can I do that right?
And I'm like, okay.
Nursing taught, nursing taughtme to be, uh, a chameleon
because I was always being,yeah.
(14:43):
Both from the, from my stationand like, go over here.
Go over.
So I was able to adapt reallyquickly.
Right.
I.
Be compassionate and I'mempathetic anyway.
Uh, I didn't know how to leadfrom empathy because it would, I
would take it all home, youknow?
Right.
Which was carry it.
Yep.
Right.
And it was burning me out myhair.
(15:04):
You could tell.
I mean, I have a mean here, youknow, horses are one of my
things, but I have a mean here.
Most of it's behind me, but itwas thick and it was coming out
in clumps.
Mm-hmm.
So that was my first clue that Iwas burning out.
Yeah.
And it was like, no time out,something's gotta give because
if I fall apart, this wholething falls apart.
(15:24):
Right.
And I had three small children,so I started looking for ways
and means of managing my ownstress.
Mm-hmm.
My own stress.
Mm-hmm.
So when you start knowingyourself mm-hmm.
Not only do you know yourself,but you, you can read yourself
in a sense.
You, there's what?
The intuition by your heartcenter, which is your GPS
(15:47):
guidance.
And I started really, I wasalways intuitive.
I knew that, but I have lost itin the, in my.
Marriage because my, I would saythings and my former would say,
you're freaking me out.
Turn it off.
And nobody talked about P courseor intuitiveness or anything
like that.
So I thought there was somethingwrong with me, wrong.
(16:07):
And I'm stupid.
I must be really, you know?
So yeah, when I was divorced, Iwas looking for something and I
don't even, I didn't even knowhow to articulate it, what I was
looking for.
Of course, I really, you know,so it's been a journey.
It's been a long journey and Ican't.
I'm happy to say it's not that Ican't, I'm happy to say that
(16:29):
I've never been happier andknowing myself and learning to
love myself was the first thing.
Right.
Do you find that in itself isquite a journey to learn about
yourself and love yourself inways that you didn't even know
was possible?
Is that Yeah, absolutely.
(16:50):
You know, anything new is, youknow mm-hmm.
The fear of.
You know, it always looks likethe grass is greener on the
other side, and you get on theother side and it's like.
It's just green grass, right?
It's maybe a different feel orwhatever, texture, whatever the,
the same thing with life, youknow?
We don't know what we don'tknow.
Of course.
I mean, we didn't know how toride a bicycle until we rode a
(17:11):
bicycle.
We didn't know how to drive acar until you get in and you
know, you get it behind the carand you're like.
And then you're sitting next toyour father and mother or
whoever taught you how to driveand you, what do I do first?
Do I put the key, joy, do themirror?
You know, and you're, you're allover the place, but now you get
in the car, you don't even thinkabout it.
Well, it's same thing with life.
Right?
Right.
With anything in life.
(17:32):
So what I started doing was Istarted looking that like, wow,
what can I build with that?
And I, you know, I go deep.
Yeah.
And I started looking at them.
I'm like, wow, if I can do thatwith that.
Then what can I build with that,with this, and why am I so
fearful?
Hmm.
So I started looking at it and Itook on spirituality and I took
(17:54):
on a mentor, you know, and Ibelieve that we're not here to
do life alone.
So I got first and foremost, uh,Reverend Alma Stevens was, you
know, God bless.
She's like, she's become familynow.
And she was such a big part ofmy life because I didn't know
what I didn't know.
Okay?
And plus I had that curiousmind.
She said to me, okay, you'regoing on this journey.
(18:17):
Are you sure you want to go onit?
Because it's gonna be lonelyonce you get there.
And I'm like, what do you mean?
After, of course I wanna dothis.
And instead of taking, it was atwo year course, I'll never
forget it to get my ministry.
And it was like, okay, two forthree from column A and three
from column B and three, youknow?
(18:37):
I'm like, no, I'm taking allsix.
I don't care how long it takes.
So I did the whole gamut and I'mso grateful I did because it
really.
It gave me differentperspectives.
So, uh, I was always a fan ofWayne and I remember hearing
Wayne Dyer say, when you changethe way you look at things, the
things you look at change, mybrain heard it.
(19:00):
When you change the way you lookat things, the way you look at
things change.
So it's all around perspective,right?
And even biblically.
They talk about perspective allthe time.
So where is the perspectivearound self-love?
You know, if I'm taught that I'mnot enough, does that have to be
my truth?
And I remember Reverend Namasaying to me, Karen, you gotta
tell yourself.
(19:21):
Uh, two, 5,000 times a day thatyou love yourself.
And I looked at her like, 5,000.
That's an awful, she says, yes,it's two hours in 28 minutes.
And I'm like, I don't have twohours in 28 minutes.
She says, yes you do.
You can do it every time you goto the bathroom.
You can do it in between, youcan do it, you know, and I
couldn't back at the time, Icouldn't even look at myself in
(19:43):
the mirror.
I was still living in themarital home, and I'll never
forget, I wrote a blog about itback in the day.
'cause I had a mirror that wasnine feet long and six feet
high.
And it was before I even learnedabout, um, uh, um, oh God.
I, I forgot.
I just went, uh, Louise Hay andOh yes.
(20:07):
Right, and I had no clue becauseI was so busy focusing on
quantum physics and neuroscienceand all this other stuff and
coaching and all this othercommunication, all this other
stuff that I hadn't even lookedat that aspect of life at that
point.
But I just knew intuitively.
Mm.
And I love sticky notes.
I'm a huge fan of sticky notes,so I started writing on the
(20:27):
sticky notes, all theseaffirmations that.
I, I didn't believe I wasbeautiful.
I didn't believe that God lovedme.
I didn't believe, you know, butI was putting'em all on sticky
notes and literally I had a nineby nine square and not that I
was wearing a lot of makeup backthere'cause I was crying my eyes
out half the time.
But I had a nine by nine to dowhatever I was gonna do, brush
my teeth in this little square.
(20:47):
Sure.
And.
Every time I went in thebathroom, I would read another
one I would read.
Mm-hmm.
I would read until finally Istart, my brain started leaving
it.
I would take'em off and put'emoff to the side, and then by the
time I finished, I looked overand I had a nine by nine square
of all the ones that I wasstill.
Over in a month period.
(21:09):
So it really begins withtraining your brain.
So when I looked in the mirrorand I said I love myself, it
meant I had to look up and lookin my eyes and I like looking
down right away.
And God forbid I looked at mywhole body.
It was like, you know, that wasall you know.
So I got to a point, the more Idid, the more I practiced, then
(21:29):
I started let myself let myself,yeah.
Adding, yeah.
So my two hours and 28 minutesstarted becoming a habit.
Yeah.
So when we create a habit, wecreate new neural pathways,
which will give us differentresults.
Love it.
(21:49):
Now is, is that how you helppeople tap into subconscious or
is there something differentthat you do there?
There's part of the way I alsojournal every day, have it right
here.
I journal every day, and part ofcreating new habits is also.
Creating new stories that wetell ourselves, right?
(22:11):
So I used to think I'm stupid.
Well, I'm no longer stupid.
I mean, I might do stupid thingsnow and then, but I get to
choose to laugh at them.
It will never go away.
Stupid never goes away, right?
But I've learned to respond toit.
Like that visceral we weretalking about.
When I get that visceralreaction I get, I say, oh, there
it is again.
Thanks for sharing, but I'm incontrol and.
(22:33):
Now I get to either choose tolaugh at it or just like, thanks
for sharing, poo poo it away andit goes away.
Right?
So, you know, because the brainwas actually designed back in
the day in theand roll times toprotect us from danger.
Of course, you know, you know, Idon't.
Carry around a club and allthat.
(22:54):
Yeah, right.
The tigers away.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
So, um, you know, but the brainis always gonna be there to
protect you, but the heart isthere to.
Guide you as is the gut.
Yeah.
So there are three main sectorsin our body, and your body is
always talking.
It never goes away.
(23:15):
So my platform when I'm workingwith my clients now is really
first and foremost around healthand wellbeing.
'cause your health is yourwealth and without that, you
know, you, it's like that cog,that wheel that's sort of, you
know, gimp it along, mp it alongthat.
Yeah, you can manage life thatway, but do you wanna manage
life that way?
Right.
(23:35):
Because it's all perception,right?
Right.
This your heaven on earth andhow do you wanna live it?
Or you know, it could be just achoice to create joy.
I mean, for me, I want personalfreedom.
Yeah.
And personal freedom brings joyand happiness.
So I get to choose.
And when I, when I set myintention, so by journaling
(23:56):
every morning, I'm setting myintention for the day.
Right energy, right Where, wherethoughts go, energy flows.
So, you know, what, where do Iwant my thoughts to go, number
one.
And where do want my energy togo?
And more importantly, on whom doI wanna expend my energy?
Yeah.
So speaking on stages, youusually have your smartphones
(24:19):
with you, and it's like, youknow when, when the battery's
out.
If I keep loaning my battery toeverybody else and giving, and
giving, I'm a reform peoplepleaser so I can talk.
So in that space now, you know,if everybody keeps sucking my
energy dry when I really needthe phone to, or my energy to do
(24:39):
something important for me.
I'm not gonna have that.
Right.
It's really creating boundariesas well.
Mm-hmm.
Around where I'm gonna expexpand my energy and unhook.
So all of these have beenlessons for me and now I give
back and one of the first thingsI do is I've been doing mind
mapping for Oh yes.
(25:01):
32 for years.
So that's one of the firstthings I do because it creates
whole brain thinking.
So as my clients are braindumping, I'm like, ah, they're
not seeing these connections andI'm able to speak from when on
all my copy.
Everything I do on the TLsolutions site is with a W in
(25:21):
front of holistic, because we'rewhole, whole right in here,
right now.
Right.
So, um.
I work in the realms of themental, emotional, physical, and
spiritual as wholeness forwellbeing.
So I'll map my conversations,but I will always ask them to go
out and purchase a purchase, ajournal.
(25:42):
And I don't mean like a dollarstore.
No.
Purchase because you're puttingsomething of yourself at stake,
you're more likely gonna do it.
Mm-hmm.
Use a color that you're gonnalove, you know?
And uh, when you journal, it'snot, when I journal, it's not
like, and I set them up forsuccess in that respect.
(26:02):
It's, you're not journaling, oh,I went to lunch with my
girlfriend today, or I went tothe bathroom.
Right.
Nothing like that.
It's intentional journaling.
That gets your mind thinking.
Mm-hmm.
So as a result of that and aresult of my Wayne Dyers thought
that I had, yeah.
Would change the way you, youlook at things, the things you
(26:23):
look at change.
I never back then had anyinkling I was gonna be doing or
having or experiencing what I amtoday.
Because again, I mean, coming ata victim role really took
something.
Really took something to shiftand I remember getting asked to
a creativity conference and um,I went in California and the
(26:48):
next thing I know somebody saw.
You never know who's watching itor who's speaking, and I'm just
being made right.
I'm a authentic.
What you see is what you get.
It's why you're here, sister.
That's why you're here.
So I believe leading from theheart is the way to go, and not
everybody's gonna appreciatethat.
And that's fine.
Of course, I'm not attached tothat, that somebody heard me
(27:10):
speak and I made a difference intheir life as a result of I
heard winder.
I said, what can I build withthis?
What are my tools?
And I took a deck of.
Visual cards to this program andI created a program and I
started.
Doing presentations andfacilitations.
I had no idea what I was doingcourse, but it just felt right,
(27:33):
always tapped it.
And as a result of this, thisgentleman would not give up his
seat.
He wouldn't give anybody else aturn.
And he ended up writing hiswhole book and on my website, he
wrote this beautiful testimonyto person.
And he had what was called, hejust, this was the last year.
Last year sadly.
But um, he had Mind camp up inCanada and he invited me to
(27:57):
present at Mind Camp, which is acreative problem solving love it
community.
And I made it.
My best friend's out of thecommunity because it's
relatable.
So when you find people torelate with, they lift you.
I call them the wind beneath mywings.
And that's the people I wannahang out with because I'm gonna
be that for them and I want thatfor me.
(28:17):
So as a result of that, I happento be sitting, they paired us up
with, you know, do, do thisthing.
And they paired us up withpeople.
And during that time I waspaired up with um, um.
Uh, Dr.
Ne Neiman and he was running oneof the most prestigious camps
(28:38):
in, um, camps of.
Programs in South Africa and heinvited me'cause it was by
invite only to be a presenter athis program, which was er, the,
um, south African creativity.
Um, and it was just like, oh myGod, you know?
And it was like, yeah, I'mtaking my pulse.
(28:59):
Like how did I get here frombeing the victim that I was and
Right.
So, you know, doors are gonnaopen, but.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And when you do the work thatyou provide, like I know you
have, uh, tranquil SolutionsClarity tool that you've
(29:20):
created.
Yes.
And so what does it mean whenyou use that tool and become
more soulfully empowered?
How do you use that tool to helpyou develop that deep
understanding of whom you reallyare?
I love that question.
(29:40):
Thank you.
That's brilliant.
Um, be it starts with self.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
Mm-hmm.
I was doing this for myself.
I was building all these toolsfor me to, yeah.
To.
I had a burnout and for me tofunction as a mother and for me
to go out there and go, oh myGod, I've gotta create a
business, or I gotta dosomething because I don't wanna
(30:00):
work at Walmart or, orMcDonald's.
And I was like, you know, andthere's nothing against those
listening that are doing, ofcourse, it wasn't for me and.
I thought, what can I build withthis?
And I remember TranquilSolutions, my company name, it
was a download for me.
Uh, I was thinking about it andI said, oh gosh, like, you know,
(30:22):
if I'm gonna do this coachingbusiness and this coaching
thing, what am I gonna callmyself?
And it was like, I'm like, okay.
And my girlfriend who worked inadvertising in New York system,
me, Karen, that's never going tofly.
And that was in 2007, I createdthe company and I'm like, what
do you mean it's not gonna fly?
(30:43):
And she, I said, that's likestripping me of my name, Karen,
and me being naked, I'm like.
I mean, that feels Yeah.
Like who I am.
Yeah.
You know, because I'm reallycoming from that space.
Three years later, she came tome, she says, you know what,
Karen?
I was wrong.
You are.
So that, you know, and I went,yeah, because I wanna be
authentic to, of course, who Isay I'm, and keep the integrity
(31:05):
in there.
So in 2010, I was going throughmy spiritual journey, as I said,
and I was discovering more andmore who I was and who I wanted
to be out there in the world.
And I remember taking a programand I was up on stage with 700
people going, you know?
And I wasn't even thinkingbecause I was like so busy, you
know?
And they're like, who are yougonna be in the world?
(31:26):
And I'm like, I'm gonna be inlove.
And I'm like, I have no ideawhat I'm saying, but okay.
It just came out.
Then I started looking feelinglike, wow, like how am I gonna
do that?
Like, you know, I don't, I don'tlove myself.
Just in the beginning was theword.
Yeah.
So just declaring it.
So at that time I declared thatI was gonna create a tool that
(31:47):
was gonna serve people acrossthe globe and an affordable
price.
Hmm.
I had no idea what that wasgonna look like.
Had no idea.
But I had been taking thisphysical.
Program to all these creativityprograms, and they're my peers.
So I would go home trial anderror it, right?
Go back trial and error it.
And I kept building andbuilding, what can I build with
this?
Oh, I got this feedback.
(32:08):
That's data, right?
What can I build with this?
What can I do with this?
And.
I hired this gal on my team whowas a tech, and I was like, I
have no idea.
We're gonna know.
Yeah.
And I said to her, I'm gonnacreate an updated version of
this and I'm gonna like make a adeck and you know, a journal and
all.
And she looked at me and shesaid, Karen, we're living in the
(32:29):
century.
Like, why don't you digitalizeit?
And I went, what?
You know, because I'm still oneof those people that text.
Of course.
Yep.
My kids are, you know.
I was like, okay, I'll look,I'll look at it.
You know, cha-ching.
I mean, it costs money likeanything else.
Yeah.
And uh, I spoke to my coach andI'm like, well, what do you
think about this?
You know, and, and I'm like,possibility here.
(32:51):
But it would get it out quicker,it would be affordable, and it
would be across the globequicker and sooner.
Right.
So what I did was.
I gave her the framework.
Mm-hmm.
And I said, I want, you know, weput the quantum physics, we put
neuroscience, we put in lp, weput, uh, heart math, licensed in
heart math.
We put my coaching frameworkthat has been years of research
(33:15):
and mm-hmm.
You know, shifting and, oh, thisdoesn't work.
Let me try something else, kindof thing.
And I just said, we've justpoured everything.
And she asked a bunch ofquestions, which I was so
grateful for.
Mm-hmm.
Hours and hours of development.
But then we came up with, weactually called it the, my
Mosaic originally.
Okay.
(33:36):
And I spoke to a license, anattorney,'cause I wanted to get
it trans marked in company, ofcourse, with my intellectual
property.
And, uh, he says to me, youknow, there's a, that name has
not been taken, however, it'sgonna be lost in the crowd.
What else can you do?
And Tranquil Solutions hasalready trademarked.
Use that as the umbrella.
(33:56):
So we came up with a tranquilsolutions clarity tool.
What that is is it is a digitalproduct, so it goes across your
smartphone.
So you can have Karen in yourback pocket 24 7, you know, on
the computer or on a pad orwhatever your, you know, product
is.
(34:16):
But basically what it is, is it,it, it's there to support your
decision making.
It's there to support reallytapping into your own intuitive.
We have the answers, so it's.
Tapping into your own knowing.
So it's guided questions.
We don't ask ourselves the rightquestions.
Yes.
So, you know, we think we knowwhat we know, but then we start
(34:38):
the patterns.
Yeah.
So it's geared for, I.
Identifying after time, afterusage, identifying the patterns,
and then the accompanyingjournal, which is in the works
right now.
Nice.
Well, once you start identifyingthe patterns, then well, can you
build with that?
Right.
What do you wanna choose?
Right.
It's a choice to shift.
(34:58):
'cause it's the good, bad, andthe ugly.
I mean, when I look at my good,bad, and ugly, it's like, oh.
Do I really wanna, if I'm comingfrom love, is this a line thing
because it's all aboutembodiment and alignment.
Do I really wanna be that?
Right?
Well.
It's scary to change that, butyeah.
I mean, that feels, it doesn'tfeel good.
(35:19):
Yeah.
So what can I do to change thatugliness, right?
Mm-hmm.
It's not bad, it's just, youknow, innate.
I mean, we've been practicingthis for six 60 some odd years,
you know?
Right.
So, who do I wanna be?
If I wanna bring.
This and serve others in theworld.
I can't do that if I'm, youknow, right.
(35:39):
Holding up to it.
So it taps into the innerwisdom.
Um, it's, it really taps deepinto the, I'm a deep person in
this, as you can tell.
Mm-hmm.
It taps into the.
Not just mine to get youranswers that you have, right.
I'm not going away, but tohiring me, you're gonna pay a
lot of money to hire me over aperiod of time.
(36:00):
Mm-hmm.
Where with this, you have me inyour back pocket, you know, if
you choose to join the group,you know, you'll have me once a
week answering your questions oryou know, that kind of thing.
Right.
And I'm available now.
I mean, if people reach out tome and ask a question, I'm going
to answer it.
You know, I'm not gonna say, oh,no, no, no, you gotta, but.
(36:21):
Yeah.
And, and what I really loveabout what you're saying is
that, and this might not be,this might not resonate for you,
but it is for me, right ne rightnow it's a guide on the side.
So you are doing your reflectionof you.
It's not, I'm giving you this,so go and try this.
(36:44):
It's your work.
And I love the journal piece toit.
So yes, because for me.
I hired Oprah's coach after mydivorce.
I had, I didn't have a pot topiss in, but I had gone to this
massive networking group and shewas up on stage and I'm like,
well, if it's good enough forOprah, it's gotta be good enough
for me.
I dunno what I was thinking, butI hired this woman, she was
(37:06):
outta California, and I'msitting there listening to her
and my mouth is like, and she'stelling me what to do and how to
do, and I'm like, I already hada mother.
I don't need another mother.
And what can I build with this?
I don't wanna be that kind ofcoach.
So it took me months to pay heroff.
And then of course she comes tome and says, uh, and at that
(37:27):
time I was doing equine'cause Ihave horses.
Yes, I was doing equine uh,trauma release.
And well, this is what we'redoing in Cal California and this
is how we're doing it.
And you need to do this, youneed to do that.
Da.
And I'm like, I don't need to doanything.
Right.
It doesn't feel good for me, youknow?
So I always, always, always goback to the feeling nice.
(37:48):
And before I paid her off, Isaid I wanna be people's guides.
Hmm.
I wanna teach them how to fish.
I don't wanna sit there andstring them along for a dollar
'cause that doesn't feel goodfor me.
Yeah.
I wanna teach them how toempower themselves so they can
empower not just themselves, butempower others.
I.
What a world that would be.
(38:09):
Imagine that.
That's why we're here, my dear.
I love it.
What an honor to have thisconversation with you.
Oh, so, so rich, is thereanything you would love to leave
our audience with as we closeoff our conversation today?
(38:29):
Well, yeah.
When you, you know, you have,you have it all within, you
trust you because when youchange the way you look at
things, the things in your worldwill change.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you so much, Karen.
What a gift to the world.
What an opportunity to sharespace with you and time with you
(38:49):
and gleam everything I couldfrom our conversation with your
beautiful wisdom.
Thank you so much for doing whatyou do in this world.
My name is Denise Drink Walter,the Midlife renewal coach, host
of.
Thrive after 45.
It's been a pleasure to be inyour community.
(39:11):
I hope you've been listening.
Please share a review if itresonates with you.
We would love to hear how ourconversations land for you and
what questions continue tosurface.
As you listen and make sure yougo and do something for you by
you because of you today in theshow notes, you'll get access to
(39:33):
how to find Karen in the worldand take care of yourselves.
Everyone, have a wonderful day.
Bye now.
Hello and welcome to ThriveAfter 45, the podcast where we
redefine what's possible inmidlife.
I'm Denise, drink Walter, yourmidlife renewal coach here to
help you embrace your power.
Your purpose and your potential.
This is your space to let go ofguilt, navigate, transitions,
(00:20):
rediscover joy and thrive foryou by you because of you.
And today, it is an absolutehonor and a privilege to welcome
Karen Rudolph to our show.
Karen is a transformationalempowerment coach and the
creator of Tranquil.
Soul Solutions Clarity Tool.
(00:40):
Her work is rooted in more than18 years of experience guiding
heart-centered women throughdeep personal breakthroughs.
And her impact has reached over10,000 lives across the globe.
And I am sure that number isrising.
But what makes Karen's voice sopowerful isn't just her
(01:01):
certifications and frameworks.
It's her story.
After a life altering accidentand years of navigating trauma,
burnout, and self rediscovery,she has transformed, formed her
own healing journey into amethod to help others rise.
Her approach is grounded.
In subconscious reprogramming,energetic alignment, breath
(01:25):
work, and holistic wellness, notjust as techniques, but as a way
of life.
Karen supports women in breakingfree from old patterns,
self-doubt and overwhelm so theycan show up.
Speak up.
Live lives aligned with purposeand clarity.
Karen, welcome to Thrive after45.
(01:47):
It's great to have you here.
Oh, it's so powerful.
Thank you.
I'm gonna hire you.
I'm gonna have to hire you asmy, that was awesome.
I, I've had that comment before.
I'm happy to give you my shownotes on that intro.
It's, it's amazing isn't it?
(02:07):
Get different when you're on theother end hearing it.
It really is.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, it really is.
So thank you.
I you're more, oh my gosh, youare so more than welcome and I
can't wait to dig into ourconversation today.
I would absolutely love to hear.
More of your background becauseI know our audience really
(02:30):
resonates with this concept offeeling burnt out, disconnected,
no idea how to put one foot infront of the other.
Can you share a little bit ofyour story so we can really
deepen our connection with youin this conversation today?
Yeah, absolutely.
(02:51):
One of the things I, I trulybelieve it, it starts like way
back when, you know, when we're,when we're young and youthful
and innocent, and life begins tohappen and all of a sudden
something happens and we make itmean whatever we make it mean,
and then your brain looks forevidence to make it the truth.
And then once you keep findingthis evidence, you get.
(03:13):
Caught up in that emotionalloop.
So you get a caught up in thenot enough, not love, not
worthy, all of thoseconversations that, you know,
start creating the identity ofwho you are then ah,'cause your
brain there to support you inkeeping you safe.
(03:34):
So for instance, if I may, um,sure.
I am aging myself here, sothat's okay.
We're over 45, so we can dothat.
We're good with that.
Absolutely, sister.
So, so imagine right back in theday we, you're at the grocery
store with mom, little Johnny.
(03:54):
I'm gonna call you littleJohnny.
Yep.
Then Johnny's at the grocerystore and he goes down the
cereal aisle and for marketingpurposes, they always put the
toys in the boxes on the eyelevel of the kids.
So here, mom's going, come on,come on, pick something and
let's go.
I'm in a hurry.
We gotta, whatever Obama'ssaying, and she wheels the
carriage around the corner andlittle Johnny looks up right at
(04:17):
age five or six and he's like,oh my god, mom left me.
She abandoned me.
Ah, now he gets there and he isreally pissed off that mom left
it right.
So instead of emoting that pissoff getting.
Ask him, because he's not taughthow to communicate at this
(04:39):
point.
You know, he's holding onto thatanger.
And then what happens is he goesto school and the age between
six and 13, he's now starting todiscover girls.
And he, his first girl that he'sattracted to, he makes an
advance towards her veryawkwardly.
And the girl is like, oh, guys,you know?
(05:01):
And she just like P Yeah.
Yeah.
So now he's definitely feelingabandoned by women.
Okay.
In the ages of 13 to 21.
He's now looking for evidencethat other women are gonna start
abandoning him, and then itbecomes all women are gonna
abandon me.
Right.
Mm-hmm.
So we all have similar storiesto that.
(05:22):
Mine personally was I had anexperience when I was five.
I was in school and uh, this wasaround the time when kids would
be seen, not heard.
Right.
And so I already had that, thatbackground noise of, gee, I'm
not worthy enough'cause myparents won't even listen to me,
you know, go out and play kindof thing.
Right?
And then they went to school andwe had.
Now I'm really aging myself.
(05:44):
The, the blackboards.
Yes.
Talk at the eraser.
Yay.
Got it.
And right, I'm sitting in thefront row because I wore glasses
back then.
And, um.
So I'm at the front row and Ihad tiles to do my spelling
words, and I raised my hand andI said, I don't have enough
tiles.
And the teacher startedlaughing, which made the whole
(06:06):
class laugh, and I wasn'tgetting the joke.
And I'm looking around and I'mjust like, awestruck, like, what
the heck?
Like what just happened?
And she, I'll never, I get thechills.
Uh, I'll never forget it camearound to, and that's a visceral
response.
So when you know, when you get avisceral response, and we'll get
back to that later.
Sure.
That is the first clue thatthat's a trigger for you, right?
(06:28):
Okay.
And you have power over thetriggers, so keep that in mind
for sec.
So she comes over to my leftside, she squats down and she
points to this back blackboard,and I have to turn my little
body and it says April Fool'sDay.
And I'm looking at, and theclass is like roaring and I'm
looking at the board go, I hadno relatedness.
(06:51):
My parents never played AprilFool's jokes or anything like
that, and she's laughing and Iwanted to hide underneath the
desk.
But what I made that little girlmind, protective mind, I will
never open my mouth again, rightin fear of being, you know, made
to feel stupid.
'cause I felt stupid.
So in that moment, I calledmyself stupid.
(07:13):
Right.
Uhhuh must just be because Idon't get it.
So what happens is cause andeffect, right?
It's all energy.
For every action, there's anopposite re equal reaction.
So then what happened was Iwould go further in school and
the teacher would call on me andI would say, I don't know.
I don't know.
It became my default, right?
And then into later on in life,whether I knew it or not, I
(07:36):
don't know, became my crutch.
And then it was like, it reallyforwarded my movement forward.
So I went into a career ofnursing, uh, and gave up my
nursing to raise my family.
I was fortunate enough to dothat at the time.
Mm-hmm.
And while I was in nursing.
(07:56):
The doc, uh, doctor had said tome, here's a script.
Discharge this patient.
And I looked at the script.
'cause I've always had a curiousmind and I always played with
manipulative puzzles as a kid.
Oh yeah.
So there's always a connectionbetween what you did back then,
what you're doing now, if you'reon purpose.
Right.
So I always pay withmanipulative puzzles.
(08:17):
So today, fast forward, I docreative problem solving for my
clients.
So I'm looking at the script.
And he says, discharge paperpatient.
And I'm saying, but you'remasking the problem.
You're not getting to the rootcause.
And he's shut up.
They're triggered right back tochildhood.
Shut up.
Kids are to be seen, not heard.
(08:38):
And I'm like, but, but he goes,there are other people that can
take your job.
And I was like, whoa.
So when I gave up nursing toraise my family, divorce
happened.
Wasn't planning on it.
Didn't expect it.
It came outta Lewis field of.
And I had three small childrenat the time and I was like, what
am I gonna do now?
Mm-hmm.
And I was so the victim, I wasthe wallflower back then, kid.
(09:00):
You not, there's no way I couldhave looked you in the eye.
There's no way I could, I wouldwalk like this behind my phone,
you know?
Wow.
Yeah.
It was like I was really.
I didn't know how to be, Ididn't even know who I was.
Right.
Other than a mother and a wife,and a housekeeper and a taxi cab
driver and all that I had.
Yeah, no.
(09:21):
When I was getting divorced, mygirlfriend said to me, Karen,
well what's your dream?
And I looked at her and I went,my what?
She says, your dream.
And I was like.
I went home, I had to look it upin the dictionary.
We, we didn't have online backthen.
I had to look, of course, criedmy eyes out because I had no
relatedness to what a dream wasand I thought.
(09:44):
Something's gotta shift.
And then of course I was goingthrough the divorce and I was so
victim, like he did this and hedid that and he's, how can he do
this to us?
And, and then I realized threefingers were coming back at me.
I'm so busy out there pointingat everything else.
Where can I be responsible?
But I didn't know what to dowith that.
I was.
Victim forever.
(10:04):
My mother was a victim.
It was like, how do you besomething you don't know how to
be, right?
So, uh, my paralegal, he wasamazing.
Cliff, I'll never forget him.
Oh God.
He said to, you know, I wouldcall him Chacha.
Of course, right?
Of course.
(10:25):
I can listen to you all daylong.
However, when you get before thejudge, he's not gonna listen
like that.
And he says there's a chance youcould lose your children because
your former is going after them.
Yeah.
And all of a sudden a mama bearcame out and I went, yeah.
Over my dead body, you know,watch me.
Yeah.
And I didn't know what thatlooked like, but it made me stop
(10:47):
and pause.
So that was the beginning of my,how to create what I've created
today moving forward.
Right.
So out of situations, it's likeyou never know what
possibility's gonna come out ofit.
So that was the beginning of mybutterfly technique, which I
created, which I'll talk aboutin a minute.
Sure.
And.
(11:08):
So I paused and I was like, wow,I'm my children's first.
Teacher, I'm their first mentor.
Mm-hmm.
What am I showing them by beingthe victim and like, how can I
shift this?
And it was just, I'm getting allmy Yeah, no kidding.
I hear you.
So anyway, anyway, uh, I movedforward in communication
(11:31):
courses.
It was the best thing I couldhave done because I really got
president to.
As adults, we really don't knowhow to communicate.
Mm.
Because we weren't taught toschool.
Of course we were talk nouns andverbs, putting them together and
you know, but not to speak.
Yeah.
So I had no idea what that wasgonna take me, but that was the
best thing I could have everdone for myself.
And then I kept, I remembersitting down one night he had
(11:53):
taken, uh, my former had takenthe children for the first
weekend away and I was like, Iwas hiding behind my kids and I
didn't know, ah.
Yeah.
Fall my face.
I talked about Kela myself, andI went through this whole gamut.
My girlfriend's like, oh, you'renot, you're gonna come over my
house, you know?
Yeah.
(12:15):
Panic.
But I remember going home afterthat and I pulled out a piece of
paper and I said, what are allmy strengths?
Nice.
Because somebody said to me, areyou going back to nursing?
And I went.
Well, you know, I'm down inFlorida.
I have a New York, New Jersey,and Arizona license, but I don't
have a Florida one.
What am I gonna do?
(12:35):
You know, and it was just like,so I sat down with all my
strengths and I said, what can Ibuild with this?
That's always been the questionin my, what can I build with
this as a creative, right?
What can I build with this?
What can I do?
Right?
So I started looking at, okay, Ido six hours of carpooling.
I could be a taxi cab driver.
(12:56):
Scratch that one.
And I started looking at him,and then I got down to the last
ones that really resonated withme and I went, wow.
Like, you know, I can talk topeople.
I've always, you know, eventhough I'm shy and I, I'm a
introvert, yeah, I can still.
People would come to me foradvice.
Alta, they used to call me TheDear Abby, which was the most
(13:21):
dear Abby.
Yes.
Yeah, so that was the beginningof my coaching career.
I went to back to school and Isaid, I'm gonna be, you know, my
sister-in-law said to me, you'dmake a great life coach.
And I'm like, what's that?
You know?
So I took that in mycommunication and then I was
like, nah, that's not quite.
(13:42):
Making it right.
So, and I loved, I couldn't getenough quantum physics in
neuroscience.
Mm-hmm.
I delved into that, like therewas no tomorrow.
It was like the universe opensup for me and I was like, I
don't have no idea why I'm doingthis, but I'm just gonna go with
the flow.
And it was just like.
Sensory overload.
It was like, wow.
(14:02):
Like the whole universe openedup for me during that, and I was
still looking for somethingoutside of myself.
Right.
And I started looking for somepeace in my life because my
divorce sadly had gone on forlike four years, and very
costly, to say the least.
But I was still, in that time Iwas searching for something.
(14:22):
So I studied world religions.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm like, mm-hmm.
I can't quite find my place inthat, but I'm still looking
outside of myself.
But what's the common thread?
There was compassion.
Okay.
What can I do that right?
And I'm like, okay.
Nursing taught, nursing taughtme to be, uh, a chameleon
because I was always being,yeah.
(14:43):
Both from the, from my stationand like, go over here.
Go over.
So I was able to adapt reallyquickly.
Right.
I.
Be compassionate and I'mempathetic anyway.
Uh, I didn't know how to leadfrom empathy because it would, I
would take it all home, youknow?
Right.
Which was carry it.
Yep.
Right.
And it was burning me out myhair.
(15:04):
You could tell.
I mean, I have a mean here, youknow, horses are one of my
things, but I have a mean here.
Most of it's behind me, but itwas thick and it was coming out
in clumps.
Mm-hmm.
So that was my first clue that Iwas burning out.
Yeah.
And it was like, no time out,something's gotta give because
if I fall apart, this wholething falls apart.
(15:24):
Right.
And I had three small children,so I started looking for ways
and means of managing my ownstress.
Mm-hmm.
My own stress.
Mm-hmm.
So when you start knowingyourself mm-hmm.
Not only do you know yourself,but you, you can read yourself
in a sense.
You, there's what?
The intuition by your heartcenter, which is your GPS
(15:47):
guidance.
And I started really, I wasalways intuitive.
I knew that, but I have lost itin the, in my.
Marriage because my, I would saythings and my former would say,
you're freaking me out.
Turn it off.
And nobody talked about P courseor intuitiveness or anything
like that.
So I thought there was somethingwrong with me, wrong.
(16:07):
And I'm stupid.
I must be really, you know?
So yeah, when I was divorced, Iwas looking for something and I
don't even, I didn't even knowhow to articulate it, what I was
looking for.
Of course, I really, you know,so it's been a journey.
It's been a long journey and Ican't.
I'm happy to say it's not that Ican't, I'm happy to say that
(16:29):
I've never been happier andknowing myself and learning to
love myself was the first thing.
Right.
Do you find that in itself isquite a journey to learn about
yourself and love yourself inways that you didn't even know
was possible?
Is that Yeah, absolutely.
(16:50):
You know, anything new is, youknow mm-hmm.
The fear of.
You know, it always looks likethe grass is greener on the
other side, and you get on theother side and it's like.
It's just green grass, right?
It's maybe a different feel orwhatever, texture, whatever the,
the same thing with life, youknow?
We don't know what we don'tknow.
Of course.
I mean, we didn't know how toride a bicycle until we rode a
(17:11):
bicycle.
We didn't know how to drive acar until you get in and you
know, you get it behind the carand you're like.
And then you're sitting next toyour father and mother or
whoever taught you how to driveand you, what do I do first?
Do I put the key, joy, do themirror?
You know, and you're, you're allover the place, but now you get
in the car, you don't even thinkabout it.
Well, it's same thing with life.
Right?
Right.
With anything in life.
(17:32):
So what I started doing was Istarted looking that like, wow,
what can I build with that?
And I, you know, I go deep.
Yeah.
And I started looking at them.
I'm like, wow, if I can do thatwith that.
Then what can I build with that,with this, and why am I so
fearful?
Hmm.
So I started looking at it and Itook on spirituality and I took
(17:54):
on a mentor, you know, and Ibelieve that we're not here to
do life alone.
So I got first and foremost, uh,Reverend Alma Stevens was, you
know, God bless.
She's like, she's become familynow.
And she was such a big part ofmy life because I didn't know
what I didn't know.
Okay?
And plus I had that curiousmind.
She said to me, okay, you'regoing on this journey.
(18:17):
Are you sure you want to go onit?
Because it's gonna be lonelyonce you get there.
And I'm like, what do you mean?
After, of course I wanna dothis.
And instead of taking, it was atwo year course, I'll never
forget it to get my ministry.
And it was like, okay, two forthree from column A and three
from column B and three, youknow?
(18:37):
I'm like, no, I'm taking allsix.
I don't care how long it takes.
So I did the whole gamut and I'mso grateful I did because it
really.
It gave me differentperspectives.
So, uh, I was always a fan ofWayne and I remember hearing
Wayne Dyer say, when you changethe way you look at things, the
things you look at change, mybrain heard it.
(19:00):
When you change the way you lookat things, the way you look at
things change.
So it's all around perspective,right?
And even biblically.
They talk about perspective allthe time.
So where is the perspectivearound self-love?
You know, if I'm taught that I'mnot enough, does that have to be
my truth?
And I remember Reverend Namasaying to me, Karen, you gotta
tell yourself.
(19:21):
Uh, two, 5,000 times a day thatyou love yourself.
And I looked at her like, 5,000.
That's an awful, she says, yes,it's two hours in 28 minutes.
And I'm like, I don't have twohours in 28 minutes.
She says, yes you do.
You can do it every time you goto the bathroom.
You can do it in between, youcan do it, you know, and I
couldn't back at the time, Icouldn't even look at myself in
(19:43):
the mirror.
I was still living in themarital home, and I'll never
forget, I wrote a blog about itback in the day.
'cause I had a mirror that wasnine feet long and six feet
high.
And it was before I even learnedabout, um, uh, um, oh God.
I, I forgot.
I just went, uh, Louise Hay andOh yes.
(20:07):
Right, and I had no clue becauseI was so busy focusing on
quantum physics and neuroscienceand all this other stuff and
coaching and all this othercommunication, all this other
stuff that I hadn't even lookedat that aspect of life at that
point.
But I just knew intuitively.
Mm.
And I love sticky notes.
I'm a huge fan of sticky notes,so I started writing on the
(20:27):
sticky notes, all theseaffirmations that.
I, I didn't believe I wasbeautiful.
I didn't believe that God lovedme.
I didn't believe, you know, butI was putting'em all on sticky
notes and literally I had a nineby nine square and not that I
was wearing a lot of makeup backthere'cause I was crying my eyes
out half the time.
But I had a nine by nine to dowhatever I was gonna do, brush
my teeth in this little square.
(20:47):
Sure.
And.
Every time I went in thebathroom, I would read another
one I would read.
Mm-hmm.
I would read until finally Istart, my brain started leaving
it.
I would take'em off and put'emoff to the side, and then by the
time I finished, I looked overand I had a nine by nine square
of all the ones that I wasstill.
Over in a month period.
(21:09):
So it really begins withtraining your brain.
So when I looked in the mirrorand I said I love myself, it
meant I had to look up and lookin my eyes and I like looking
down right away.
And God forbid I looked at mywhole body.
It was like, you know, that wasall you know.
So I got to a point, the more Idid, the more I practiced, then
(21:29):
I started let myself let myself,yeah.
Adding, yeah.
So my two hours and 28 minutesstarted becoming a habit.
Yeah.
So when we create a habit, wecreate new neural pathways,
which will give us differentresults.
Love it.
(21:49):
Now is, is that how you helppeople tap into subconscious or
is there something differentthat you do there?
There's part of the way I alsojournal every day, have it right
here.
I journal every day, and part ofcreating new habits is also.
Creating new stories that wetell ourselves, right?
(22:11):
So I used to think I'm stupid.
Well, I'm no longer stupid.
I mean, I might do stupid thingsnow and then, but I get to
choose to laugh at them.
It will never go away.
Stupid never goes away, right?
But I've learned to respond toit.
Like that visceral we weretalking about.
When I get that visceralreaction I get, I say, oh, there
it is again.
Thanks for sharing, but I'm incontrol and.
(22:33):
Now I get to either choose tolaugh at it or just like, thanks
for sharing, poo poo it away andit goes away.
Right?
So, you know, because the brainwas actually designed back in
the day in theand roll times toprotect us from danger.
Of course, you know, you know, Idon't.
Carry around a club and allthat.
(22:54):
Yeah, right.
The tigers away.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
So, um, you know, but the brainis always gonna be there to
protect you, but the heart isthere to.
Guide you as is the gut.
Yeah.
So there are three main sectorsin our body, and your body is
always talking.
It never goes away.
(23:15):
So my platform when I'm workingwith my clients now is really
first and foremost around healthand wellbeing.
'cause your health is yourwealth and without that, you
know, you, it's like that cog,that wheel that's sort of, you
know, gimp it along, mp it alongthat.
Yeah, you can manage life thatway, but do you wanna manage
life that way?
Right.
(23:35):
Because it's all perception,right?
Right.
This your heaven on earth andhow do you wanna live it?
Or you know, it could be just achoice to create joy.
I mean, for me, I want personalfreedom.
Yeah.
And personal freedom brings joyand happiness.
So I get to choose.
And when I, when I set myintention, so by journaling
(23:56):
every morning, I'm setting myintention for the day.
Right energy, right Where, wherethoughts go, energy flows.
So, you know, what, where do Iwant my thoughts to go, number
one.
And where do want my energy togo?
And more importantly, on whom doI wanna expend my energy?
Yeah.
So speaking on stages, youusually have your smartphones
(24:19):
with you, and it's like, youknow when, when the battery's
out.
If I keep loaning my battery toeverybody else and giving, and
giving, I'm a reform peoplepleaser so I can talk.
So in that space now, you know,if everybody keeps sucking my
energy dry when I really needthe phone to, or my energy to do
(24:39):
something important for me.
I'm not gonna have that.
Right.
It's really creating boundariesas well.
Mm-hmm.
Around where I'm gonna expexpand my energy and unhook.
So all of these have beenlessons for me and now I give
back and one of the first thingsI do is I've been doing mind
mapping for Oh yes.
(25:01):
32 for years.
So that's one of the firstthings I do because it creates
whole brain thinking.
So as my clients are braindumping, I'm like, ah, they're
not seeing these connections andI'm able to speak from when on
all my copy.
Everything I do on the TLsolutions site is with a W in
(25:21):
front of holistic, because we'rewhole, whole right in here,
right now.
Right.
So, um.
I work in the realms of themental, emotional, physical, and
spiritual as wholeness forwellbeing.
So I'll map my conversations,but I will always ask them to go
out and purchase a purchase, ajournal.
(25:42):
And I don't mean like a dollarstore.
No.
Purchase because you're puttingsomething of yourself at stake,
you're more likely gonna do it.
Mm-hmm.
Use a color that you're gonnalove, you know?
And uh, when you journal, it'snot, when I journal, it's not
like, and I set them up forsuccess in that respect.
(26:02):
It's, you're not journaling, oh,I went to lunch with my
girlfriend today, or I went tothe bathroom.
Right.
Nothing like that.
It's intentional journaling.
That gets your mind thinking.
Mm-hmm.
So as a result of that and aresult of my Wayne Dyers thought
that I had, yeah.
Would change the way you, youlook at things, the things you
(26:23):
look at change.
I never back then had anyinkling I was gonna be doing or
having or experiencing what I amtoday.
Because again, I mean, coming ata victim role really took
something.
Really took something to shiftand I remember getting asked to
a creativity conference and um,I went in California and the
(26:48):
next thing I know somebody saw.
You never know who's watching itor who's speaking, and I'm just
being made right.
I'm a authentic.
What you see is what you get.
It's why you're here, sister.
That's why you're here.
So I believe leading from theheart is the way to go, and not
everybody's gonna appreciatethat.
And that's fine.
Of course, I'm not attached tothat, that somebody heard me
(27:10):
speak and I made a difference intheir life as a result of I
heard winder.
I said, what can I build withthis?
What are my tools?
And I took a deck of.
Visual cards to this program andI created a program and I
started.
Doing presentations andfacilitations.
I had no idea what I was doingcourse, but it just felt right,
(27:33):
always tapped it.
And as a result of this, thisgentleman would not give up his
seat.
He wouldn't give anybody else aturn.
And he ended up writing hiswhole book and on my website, he
wrote this beautiful testimonyto person.
And he had what was called, hejust, this was the last year.
Last year sadly.
But um, he had Mind camp up inCanada and he invited me to
(27:57):
present at Mind Camp, which is acreative problem solving love it
community.
And I made it.
My best friend's out of thecommunity because it's
relatable.
So when you find people torelate with, they lift you.
I call them the wind beneath mywings.
And that's the people I wannahang out with because I'm gonna
be that for them and I want thatfor me.
(28:17):
So as a result of that, I happento be sitting, they paired us up
with, you know, do, do thisthing.
And they paired us up withpeople.
And during that time I waspaired up with um, um.
Uh, Dr.
Ne Neiman and he was running oneof the most prestigious camps
(28:38):
in, um, camps of.
Programs in South Africa and heinvited me'cause it was by
invite only to be a presenter athis program, which was er, the,
um, south African creativity.
Um, and it was just like, oh myGod, you know?
And it was like, yeah, I'mtaking my pulse.
(28:59):
Like how did I get here frombeing the victim that I was and
Right.
So, you know, doors are gonnaopen, but.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And when you do the work thatyou provide, like I know you
have, uh, tranquil SolutionsClarity tool that you've
(29:20):
created.
Yes.
And so what does it mean whenyou use that tool and become
more soulfully empowered?
How do you use that tool to helpyou develop that deep
understanding of whom you reallyare?
I love that question.
(29:40):
Thank you.
That's brilliant.
Um, be it starts with self.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
Mm-hmm.
I was doing this for myself.
I was building all these toolsfor me to, yeah.
To.
I had a burnout and for me tofunction as a mother and for me
to go out there and go, oh myGod, I've gotta create a
business, or I gotta dosomething because I don't wanna
(30:00):
work at Walmart or, orMcDonald's.
And I was like, you know, andthere's nothing against those
listening that are doing, ofcourse, it wasn't for me and.
I thought, what can I build withthis?
And I remember TranquilSolutions, my company name, it
was a download for me.
Uh, I was thinking about it andI said, oh gosh, like, you know,
(30:22):
if I'm gonna do this coachingbusiness and this coaching
thing, what am I gonna callmyself?
And it was like, I'm like, okay.
And my girlfriend who worked inadvertising in New York system,
me, Karen, that's never going tofly.
And that was in 2007, I createdthe company and I'm like, what
do you mean it's not gonna fly?
(30:43):
And she, I said, that's likestripping me of my name, Karen,
and me being naked, I'm like.
I mean, that feels Yeah.
Like who I am.
Yeah.
You know, because I'm reallycoming from that space.
Three years later, she came tome, she says, you know what,
Karen?
I was wrong.
You are.
So that, you know, and I went,yeah, because I wanna be
authentic to, of course, who Isay I'm, and keep the integrity
(31:05):
in there.
So in 2010, I was going throughmy spiritual journey, as I said,
and I was discovering more andmore who I was and who I wanted
to be out there in the world.
And I remember taking a programand I was up on stage with 700
people going, you know?
And I wasn't even thinkingbecause I was like so busy, you
know?
And they're like, who are yougonna be in the world?
(31:26):
And I'm like, I'm gonna be inlove.
And I'm like, I have no ideawhat I'm saying, but okay.
It just came out.
Then I started looking feelinglike, wow, like how am I gonna
do that?
Like, you know, I don't, I don'tlove myself.
Just in the beginning was theword.
Yeah.
So just declaring it.
So at that time I declared thatI was gonna create a tool that
(31:47):
was gonna serve people acrossthe globe and an affordable
price.
Hmm.
I had no idea what that wasgonna look like.
Had no idea.
But I had been taking thisphysical.
Program to all these creativityprograms, and they're my peers.
So I would go home trial anderror it, right?
Go back trial and error it.
And I kept building andbuilding, what can I build with
this?
Oh, I got this feedback.
(32:08):
That's data, right?
What can I build with this?
What can I do with this?
And.
I hired this gal on my team whowas a tech, and I was like, I
have no idea.
We're gonna know.
Yeah.
And I said to her, I'm gonnacreate an updated version of
this and I'm gonna like make a adeck and you know, a journal and
all.
And she looked at me and shesaid, Karen, we're living in the
(32:29):
century.
Like, why don't you digitalizeit?
And I went, what?
You know, because I'm still oneof those people that text.
Of course.
Yep.
My kids are, you know.
I was like, okay, I'll look,I'll look at it.
You know, cha-ching.
I mean, it costs money likeanything else.
Yeah.
And uh, I spoke to my coach andI'm like, well, what do you
think about this?
You know, and, and I'm like,possibility here.
(32:51):
But it would get it out quicker,it would be affordable, and it
would be across the globequicker and sooner.
Right.
So what I did was.
I gave her the framework.
Mm-hmm.
And I said, I want, you know, weput the quantum physics, we put
neuroscience, we put in lp, weput, uh, heart math, licensed in
heart math.
We put my coaching frameworkthat has been years of research
(33:15):
and mm-hmm.
You know, shifting and, oh, thisdoesn't work.
Let me try something else, kindof thing.
And I just said, we've justpoured everything.
And she asked a bunch ofquestions, which I was so
grateful for.
Mm-hmm.
Hours and hours of development.
But then we came up with, weactually called it the, my
Mosaic originally.
Okay.
(33:36):
And I spoke to a license, anattorney,'cause I wanted to get
it trans marked in company, ofcourse, with my intellectual
property.
And, uh, he says to me, youknow, there's a, that name has
not been taken, however, it'sgonna be lost in the crowd.
What else can you do?
And Tranquil Solutions hasalready trademarked.
Use that as the umbrella.
(33:56):
So we came up with a tranquilsolutions clarity tool.
What that is is it is a digitalproduct, so it goes across your
smartphone.
So you can have Karen in yourback pocket 24 7, you know, on
the computer or on a pad orwhatever your, you know, product
is.
(34:16):
But basically what it is, is it,it, it's there to support your
decision making.
It's there to support reallytapping into your own intuitive.
We have the answers, so it's.
Tapping into your own knowing.
So it's guided questions.
We don't ask ourselves the rightquestions.
Yes.
So, you know, we think we knowwhat we know, but then we start
(34:38):
the patterns.
Yeah.
So it's geared for, I.
Identifying after time, afterusage, identifying the patterns,
and then the accompanyingjournal, which is in the works
right now.
Nice.
Well, once you start identifyingthe patterns, then well, can you
build with that?
Right.
What do you wanna choose?
Right.
It's a choice to shift.
(34:58):
'cause it's the good, bad, andthe ugly.
I mean, when I look at my good,bad, and ugly, it's like, oh.
Do I really wanna, if I'm comingfrom love, is this a line thing
because it's all aboutembodiment and alignment.
Do I really wanna be that?
Right?
Well.
It's scary to change that, butyeah.
I mean, that feels, it doesn'tfeel good.
(35:19):
Yeah.
So what can I do to change thatugliness, right?
Mm-hmm.
It's not bad, it's just, youknow, innate.
I mean, we've been practicingthis for six 60 some odd years,
you know?
Right.
So, who do I wanna be?
If I wanna bring.
This and serve others in theworld.
I can't do that if I'm, youknow, right.
(35:39):
Holding up to it.
So it taps into the innerwisdom.
Um, it's, it really taps deepinto the, I'm a deep person in
this, as you can tell.
Mm-hmm.
It taps into the.
Not just mine to get youranswers that you have, right.
I'm not going away, but tohiring me, you're gonna pay a
lot of money to hire me over aperiod of time.
(36:00):
Mm-hmm.
Where with this, you have me inyour back pocket, you know, if
you choose to join the group,you know, you'll have me once a
week answering your questions oryou know, that kind of thing.
Right.
And I'm available now.
I mean, if people reach out tome and ask a question, I'm going
to answer it.
You know, I'm not gonna say, oh,no, no, no, you gotta, but.
(36:21):
Yeah.
And, and what I really loveabout what you're saying is
that, and this might not be,this might not resonate for you,
but it is for me, right ne rightnow it's a guide on the side.
So you are doing your reflectionof you.
It's not, I'm giving you this,so go and try this.
(36:44):
It's your work.
And I love the journal piece toit.
So yes, because for me.
I hired Oprah's coach after mydivorce.
I had, I didn't have a pot topiss in, but I had gone to this
massive networking group and shewas up on stage and I'm like,
well, if it's good enough forOprah, it's gotta be good enough
for me.
I dunno what I was thinking, butI hired this woman, she was
(37:06):
outta California, and I'msitting there listening to her
and my mouth is like, and she'stelling me what to do and how to
do, and I'm like, I already hada mother.
I don't need another mother.
And what can I build with this?
I don't wanna be that kind ofcoach.
So it took me months to pay heroff.
And then of course she comes tome and says, uh, and at that
(37:27):
time I was doing equine'cause Ihave horses.
Yes, I was doing equine uh,trauma release.
And well, this is what we'redoing in Cal California and this
is how we're doing it.
And you need to do this, youneed to do that.
Da.
And I'm like, I don't need to doanything.
Right.
It doesn't feel good for me, youknow?
So I always, always, always goback to the feeling nice.
(37:48):
And before I paid her off, Isaid I wanna be people's guides.
Hmm.
I wanna teach them how to fish.
I don't wanna sit there andstring them along for a dollar
'cause that doesn't feel goodfor me.
Yeah.
I wanna teach them how toempower themselves so they can
empower not just themselves, butempower others.
I.
What a world that would be.
(38:09):
Imagine that.
That's why we're here, my dear.
I love it.
What an honor to have thisconversation with you.
Oh, so, so rich, is thereanything you would love to leave
our audience with as we closeoff our conversation today?
(38:29):
Well, yeah.
When you, you know, you have,you have it all within, you
trust you because when youchange the way you look at
things, the things in your worldwill change.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you so much, Karen.
What a gift to the world.
What an opportunity to sharespace with you and time with you
(38:49):
and gleam everything I couldfrom our conversation with your
beautiful wisdom.
Thank you so much for doing whatyou do in this world.
My name is Denise Drink Walter,the Midlife renewal coach, host
of.
Thrive after 45.
It's been a pleasure to be inyour community.
(39:11):
I hope you've been listening.
Please share a review if itresonates with you.
We would love to hear how ourconversations land for you and
what questions continue tosurface.
As you listen and make sure yougo and do something for you by
you because of you today in theshow notes, you'll get access to
(39:33):
how to find Karen in the worldand take care of yourselves.
Everyone, have a wonderful day.
Bye now.
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