May 22, 2025 • 19 mins
What if fueling your giving meant finally pouring back into yourself first?
Dr. Tia Warwick is a scientist, professor, public health leader, author, and unapologetic boundary-setter. But what truly blew me away was her realness.
We talk about what it looks like to be driven, heart-led, and purpose-fueled...without losing yourself in the process.
She opens up about what it means to give so much to others while quietly running on empty, and how that shifted the moment she turned around and reached back into the “vault” to start giving to herself.
This conversation is for the high-achievers, the nurturers, the go-getters who are tired of feeling drained even when life looks good on paper.
If you’ve ever struggled with setting boundaries, feeling guilty for putting yourself first, or wondering when you get to feel full again - Dr. Tia’s story will speak to your soul.
We dive into:
👉 Why being “productive” can become a trap
👉 How to know your own threshold—and honour it
👉 The difference between being selfish vs. self-aware
👉 What happens when you actually start saying no (and survive it!)
👉 And the one belief every woman needs to release in order to rise
Dr. Tia also shares a powerful metaphor you won’t forget - and a gentle, soul-deep reminder that you are already enough. No titles, no to-do list, no proving required.
If you’re ready to feel lighter, freer, and more connected to your own needs, this is our special gift to you.
✨ Grab her book Life, But Make It Manageable here https://a.co/d/1ASHEG2on Amazon and you can find Dr Tia Warwick by clicking here http://www.lesousconsulting.com/ for more truth bombs, wisdom, and grounded inspiration.
Thank you for spending time with me today on the Thrive After 45™ podcast! If this episode spoke to you, be sure to hit that follow button so you never miss one.
And if you loved it, I’d be so grateful if you left a review - it helps more amazing women like you find this show!
Your journey doesn’t stop here - let’s keep the conversation going! Connect with me at denisedrinkwalter.com, and follow @thethriveafter45podcast for daily insp, tips, and support.
Remember, midlife isn’t the end - it’s just the beginning of a new, exciting chapter! Keep thriving, keep shining, and I’ll see you next time!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello and welcome to the ThriveAfter 45 Podcast where we
redefine the significance of youfor you by you because of you.
My name is Denise Drink Walter,and I'm a midlife renewal coach
here to help women embrace theirpower, purpose, and potential.
This show is your space toexplore what's possible when you
(00:23):
prioritize you through inspiringconversations.
Expert insights and real storieswe'll uncover how to navigate
transitions, rediscover joy andthrive inside and out.
It's time to let go of guilt andfully embrace the life waiting
for you.
This is the Thrive After 45podcast, and it is your time to
(00:47):
thrive for you by you.
Because of you.
It is such an honor and aprivilege to introduce and
welcome Dr.
Tia Warwick to the Thrive after45 podcast episode.
Today.
Dr.
Warwick is a force in the fieldsof public education clinical
(01:07):
research.
And education.
With nearly a decade ofexperience spanning academia,
biotech, and public health, shehas devoted her career to
advancing healthy equity,environmental justice, and
Alzheimer's disease research.
As the CEO of consulting, sheempowers professionals.
(01:31):
And organizations to close skillskills gaps, optimize research
strategies and design clinicaltrial trials that are both
efficient and equity centered.
She currently serves as a publichealth director and assistant
professor of biology, where herleadership continues to shape
(01:53):
the next generation ofscientists and health advocates.
Through her work, she hasimpacted.
Thousands of lives, mentoringstudents, supporting research
teams, and guiding healthinitiatives that drive
sustainable change.
Dr.
Warwick brings not only herscientific expertise, but also a
(02:17):
deep commitment to building amore equitable and informed
future, and we are so.
Grateful to have her here withus today.
Welcome, Dr.
Warwick.
Thank you so much for thatintroduction.
It's so, I'm so happy to behere.
(02:37):
I don't know whether you sleep,I.
Your portfolio.
I'm like, how is she going topresent today?
Because if I, I just reading it,I'm like, how in the world do
you find time for yourself witheverything else you have on your
plate?
(02:59):
That's, you know, really goodquestion.
And I would say for me, whenyou're passionate about what
you're doing.
It doesn't necessarily take, youknow, all of your time when
you're passionate aboutsomething, you're more efficient
with it.
And, um, I do a lot, I reallydo.
Um, but I love everything thatI'm doing and at the center of
(03:22):
it all, I, I do know that Iwouldn't be able to do that if I
don't prioritize, you know, myhealth, um, and ensuring that I
am in a good space to continuedoing the work that I'm doing.
But yeah, it is, it is, it ishard sometimes, honestly.
Um, but I do really effective.
Um, organization, timemanagement in the sense of I
prioritize what is trulyimportant.
(03:43):
Um, I ask myself, what are thefive most important things I
have to do today?
And while there could be athousand things that needs to be
done, I do make sure those fivethings are done.
And if you do that every day,um, you know, that'll, that'll
always push you forward.
That's great advice.
I love why five?
(04:03):
Where did you come up with thatnumber?
It was just my threshold, and itreally depends on the person.
Okay.
Great.
And so like if you feel like youcan only do two things that day
that is still better than, youknow, starting somewhere.
I think that when we have all ofthese dreams, aspirations,
hopes, and, you know, we'reracing against the clock called
time our biggest enemy, right?
(04:25):
We can often feel veryoverwhelmed.
Um, yeah.
And thinking that, you know, weneed to get everything done all
at once.
And so for me, you know.
If you're doing one thing a day,two, if that's your threshold,
that is still advancing yourselfand working within the confines
of, of your own space andhealth.
And so for me, my threshold wasfive things a day.
(04:46):
Um, and when I hit that five, ifI feel like I have it in me to
do one more, I will.
But if I feel like I can dosomething else for myself, I'll
do that instead.
But it's really important toprioritize that balance, um, and
it takes discipline.
So if you do that every day, youwill advance yourself forward
towards your goal.
I love what you're sayingbecause something that I think
(05:09):
is really, really importantright now is the awareness that
you have of yourself through itall, and.
Do you find that getting thatawareness of your threshold as
you referenced and understandingwhat that needs to look like,
(05:29):
sound like, and feel like, doyou feel that that is a
foundational piece or anunderpinning in order to
continue doing everything thatyou love to do, or is there more
to it?
Um, it, it honestly isn't, andit's, and you explain that
really well.
Um, for me it is self-awareness.
Like I think a lot of the timesthat I was one of those people,
(05:53):
um, especially in college whereI was essentially living in my
own delusion.
And it's good to live indelusion, but um, in a positive
way.
Right, right.
And I was, um, you know.
Taking 18 credits and I wasdoing this and I was doing that,
and I was spreading myself thinand I was burning myself out.
Um, and I was just not in aspace where I was ready to admit
(06:16):
that because admitting that.
I was, I couldn't hack it or, orI was some type of failure or
something, which wasn't true.
Right.
Um, the things that we tellourselves, um, you know, we live
in our own delusions a lot ofthe time, right?
And so for me, it, it wasgetting to that self-awareness.
And so it took some time, um,to, to get to that right, to
(06:39):
say, okay, mm-hmm.
Let's, let's take a second.
Let's take a breath.
Let's really think about what.
Matters the most to us.
What are the priorities, um, andwhy?
Right.
Um, I think sometimes we getlost in, in doing all the steps.
We, we forget the why and so itjust took me a second and when I
did realize why I was doing whatI was doing and.
(07:03):
What is important to me, notjust for my career, not just for
my family, but for myself.
Like what is important to mementally, what's important to me
physically, what is important tome emotionally and spiritually.
Um, I wrote those things down.
Um, and when I looked at thebigger picture, it wasn't just
my grades, it was so many thingsthat were important to me that
(07:23):
were being deprived.
And so when I did take a look atall of those things, it, it
helped me.
Remember that I'm, I'm, I'm awhole person.
And sometimes we feel like we'rejust extensions going through
the movements of things.
And so, yeah, I, I think selfawareness is at the core.
Um.
The secret to a lot of thingsand, and it definitely helps me.
(07:45):
So I, I absolutely love whatyou're saying because it sounds
to me like it was a journey and,and I think my experience with
myself and with the clients thatI've supported over the years
and continue to support, that'sone of the things that I think
is common across.
(08:08):
All of our, um, lifespan is thatlife itself is a journey.
And when that awareness peaks.
In interrupts what we've beendoing and allows us to what
you're saying, step back andreprioritize and actually take
the time and the space touncover what's really going on
(08:31):
for you.
By you because of you.
Then you can actually start toreadjust as your awareness
becomes more attuned to what'shappening for you.
Did you find that.
That was a challenge to stopputting.
Or maybe it wasn't.
(08:52):
It's putting everything elsefirst and then realizing, wait a
minute, I'm part of thisimportant nugget, uh, to be
looking after as well aseverything else.
Was that a challenge for you?
I know a lot of my clients arelike, well, isn't that
self-centered?
Isn't that, isn't that being abit egotistic to put myself
first?
Is that something you struggledwith or tell us more about what
(09:13):
came up?
I mean, so this is actuallygreat timing, so I did, it was
a.
I did actually write a bookcalled Life, but Make it
manageable for that very reason.
And, um, in the book, I was verypersonal and I, I usually don't
like getting really, reallypersonal, I mean mm-hmm.
Um, but it, it, I've gottencomfortable in, in speaking
(09:34):
about these truths.
We're all human.
Um, and I talk about being in avault.
Um, and in this vault I.
Never looked back at this vault.
I just reached behind and justkept gi giving and giving and
giving and giving and giving.
And I was happy to give, butnever once did I thought to turn
(09:59):
around and, and give to myself.
And so for me, I talk about.
Thought as a metaphor andthinking about that journey
beginning, I, it wasn't even athought, it wasn't even a
consideration.
Right.
That I can do that for me.
Right.
Just as I'm doing everythingelse.
Um, yeah.
And I just, I just rememberedthere was a time where I could,
(10:22):
I still had plenty to give.
I have a huge heart.
It was more so, even though Ihad a lot to give, I still felt
empty.
And I don't know how else toexplain that.
You don't have to be completelyburnt out.
You may still have so much loveto give and still feel
completely alone and completelyempty, and I just couldn't
understand that feeling.
Um, and it's because I wasn'tgiving anything to myself, even
(10:45):
though I had it.
I had it in the vault lockedaway, and I didn't share it with
me.
And so for me, I had to learnone by one to to, to give myself
things, give myself time, givemyself grace, give myself.
You know, a spot day, givemyself, you know, a opportunity
to do something that is justsomething that I love.
(11:05):
Not for my career, not for myfamily, just for me.
Um, mm-hmm.
It took some time.
Uh, yeah, little by little Idid, and now I feel full, so,
and I still have plenty in thevault for everybody else and
there's nothing to feel guiltyabout.
So it was definitely a journey.
I love what you're saying andthank you for sharing that.
Um.
(11:26):
We, we'll wanna know how toaccess that book too, by the
way.
It's on Amazon.
Yeah.
Okay.
We'll make sure it goes in theshow notes so people can grab
it.
Because what you're talkingabout, I got chills.
I'm like, that's exactly why weare having this show.
This is exactly why we arehaving this conversation.
(11:47):
The depth.
Of capacity that we don't evenunderstand.
We have, like you said, we giveand there's still an empty void
and what's that about?
I know in the audience, peopleare putting their hand up going,
ah, she's speaking to me.
She knows me because this isvery common.
Why when everybody else, I'mgiving to everybody else and
(12:10):
they're feeling so great, whydon't I feel.
Great.
By doing all of that, why isthere that nugget of heaviness
in my heart and it's so valuablewhat you're sharing in terms of
it's a journey and one step at atime and good things that last
take time.
(12:30):
Right?
Rome wasn't built in a day, asmy father would say, forever,
and I never understood what hewas saying, but I do now I have
a better sense and so.
One question I have for you whenyou are doing what you do every
day and pouring back into yourcup, so it's overflowing and in
(12:52):
the saucer now.
Thank you for that.
Do you find or notice that thatchange in your energy, in your
capacity has a greater impactthan you would've expected had
you not been filling your owncup?
Do you notice anything there?
Yeah.
(13:12):
I think that my family, thepeople that I pour into may not
notice it, but I do.
Ah, I feel it in the mornings.
I feel it on the inside.
It's not something people cansee.
It's, it's only something youcan feel.
And I went from dreading wakingup in the mornings, like
literally feeling like a bag ofrocks and like I loved
(13:33):
everything that I did, but Istill was just so miserable.
Yeah.
Like getting that motivation toget up out of bed.
I, I, now, I'm, I can get out ofbed and say, you know what?
I'm gonna take this time tomeditate for me.
I'm gonna make sure that I do mylittle routine for me.
And, and I think the morningsare my favorite part.
'cause it's the most quiet.
It's the before the noise startsand that's the time I want for
(13:55):
myself.
And so, um, it's just, you know,it's just, it feels better.
Like even though the world willnever see it.
I feel better and I see it, andthat's what really matters.
And yeah, no, I definitely, Ican't even, I'm smiling right
now because like, I just, itjust, it feels freeing, um, to
be honest.
(14:15):
And, you know, sometimes you'regonna have to say no.
Sometimes of course you're gonnapiss somebody off, and that's
just, you know what you're gonnahave to do.
Yep.
For your own sanity.
Um, yep.
And if you're the type of personlike me that just wants to be
everything for everyone anddoesn't wanna let people down.
Not that I'm a people people,but,'cause I, I just love the
(14:35):
people I love.
Right, right.
And so when you start to say noand you put those boundaries up,
yeah.
You'll piss some people off.
You'll feel guilty, but youdon't need to.
Right.
And, and it, it takes some timeto, to get used to that.
But you know, the first time Isaid no.
Yeah, of course family wasn'thappy.
They're not gonna be happy beingtold no when they've been told
(14:57):
Yes.
So for so long.
But Sure.
Yeah.
But there's, there's some, um.
There's a lot of weight thatlifts when you say no sometimes.
Mm-hmm.
When you want to prioritizeyourself, that is okay.
There's nothing, absolutelynothing to feel guilty about,
truly.
Right.
Um, you're not any less of aperson.
You do not love them any less,and you have nothing to prove.
(15:18):
Um, right.
You're there, you show up everyday.
That's, that's proof enough.
And so just getting comfortablewith a saying no and B, like
being okay with it.
Yeah.
Um, that allows you to, to, tomake room.
Um, and you have to make roomfor you.
Um.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Or else you're just gonna, likeI say, you're gonna just, you're
(15:38):
gonna evaporate.
You're gonna be there, butyou're not gonna be there.
Right, right, right.
So it's really important toprioritize you.
And, and ever since I've donethat, I feel.
I feel really good, and I thinkit's not to be confused, to be
selfish, right?
Especially people who are right.
Being, um, and prioritizing youis, is different from being
(15:59):
selfish, right?
If you can do.
If you can't, don't.
Right.
Right.
And there's not that, that's thedifference.
So don't, don't feel like you'rebeing selfish by doing that.
Exactly.
Yeah.
It's, it's so true.
And the the, you have to stepinto the water.
Don't jump into the deep end andcut everybody off.
(16:22):
I talk about don't, don't.
Dive into the deep end when youdon't know how to swim, take
those baby steps and it'sincredible when you take the
tiny steps, how that just makesit a little more comfortable, a
little more comfortable justdoing little bits and things
start shifting and it's.
It's no longer a big to-do that.
(16:44):
We've created, you've said thisa lot already in your
conversation, what we create inour mind, we create such big
obstacles that are only in ourmind.
They're not necessarily real,but they're real because it's
our belief.
Right?
Yes.
Which brings me to my question,is there one belief that you
feel women need to release tomake space for the impact that
(17:10):
they.
Are meant to have in theirworld, whether it's their
immediate world or the big,grandiose world.
Is there a belief?
Yes, Beth, thank you so much forasking me that.
And I do think that, and I thinkthat belief is you are good
enough, you are enough.
Not you attached to your job,not you attached to your
(17:32):
degrees, not you attached toyour family, not you attached to
your titles.
None of those things you.
That's it.
You are enough.
And I think that when we stripall the things away that we
worked on that, that, that givesus value.
We think we lose it, but we werealready valuable.
(17:54):
Hmm.
Um, and so it's, it's reallyhard to think about that.
I have my doctorate degree, Ihave this, I have that.
When we take all those thingsaway, how do you feel If you do
not feel like you are enough,that is where you start.
Beautiful, beautiful.
Our identity.
Who are you?
(18:15):
Right?
And do this for you, by youbecause of you, Dr.
Warwick.
What a beautiful conversationyou have such talent, such
brilliance.
It's been an honor to sharespace with you in this
conversation today.
Is there anything that you wouldlove to leave our audience with?
Any final words of wisdom?
(18:40):
Yeah, I would say.
Do something that you've wantedto do for a while, but been
putting off?
I, I think that something, youknow, just to end the
conversation light, but fun andexciting.
Yeah.
Um, maybe you've been wanting togo full walk.
It could be as simple as that.
And you just, you always put outsomething else to do instead.
Maybe you wanted to, to, youknow, go out to dinner with a
(19:02):
friend.
Um, maybe you want to try outthat new yoga class.
I don't know.
But whatever it is that you'vebeen wanting to do.
You just didn't think it wasimportant.
Um, so you've put it off.
Um, it is important, so maybegive it a try and see where that
takes you.
I love that.
Thank you so much for thisadvice, this conversation.
If you are not following us onThrive after 45.
(19:27):
Please give us a follow.
You do not want to miss theseincredible conversations that I
get to have with these amazingguests every single week.
I wish you all the best.
Make sure that you thrive after45 and beyond and do something
for you by you because of youtoday.
(19:47):
Have a great day everyone.
Bye.
Hello and welcome to the ThriveAfter 45 Podcast where we
redefine the significance of youfor you by you because of you.
My name is Denise Drink Walter,and I'm a midlife renewal coach
here to help women embrace theirpower, purpose, and potential.
This show is your space toexplore what's possible when you
(00:23):
prioritize you through inspiringconversations.
Expert insights and real storieswe'll uncover how to navigate
transitions, rediscover joy andthrive inside and out.
It's time to let go of guilt andfully embrace the life waiting
for you.
This is the Thrive After 45podcast, and it is your time to
(00:47):
thrive for you by you.
Because of you.
It is such an honor and aprivilege to introduce and
welcome Dr.
Tia Warwick to the Thrive after45 podcast episode.
Today.
Dr.
Warwick is a force in the fieldsof public education clinical
(01:07):
research.
And education.
With nearly a decade ofexperience spanning academia,
biotech, and public health, shehas devoted her career to
advancing healthy equity,environmental justice, and
Alzheimer's disease research.
As the CEO of consulting, sheempowers professionals.
(01:31):
And organizations to close skillskills gaps, optimize research
strategies and design clinicaltrial trials that are both
efficient and equity centered.
She currently serves as a publichealth director and assistant
professor of biology, where herleadership continues to shape
(01:53):
the next generation ofscientists and health advocates.
Through her work, she hasimpacted.
Thousands of lives, mentoringstudents, supporting research
teams, and guiding healthinitiatives that drive
sustainable change.
Dr.
Warwick brings not only herscientific expertise, but also a
(02:17):
deep commitment to building amore equitable and informed
future, and we are so.
Grateful to have her here withus today.
Welcome, Dr.
Warwick.
Thank you so much for thatintroduction.
It's so, I'm so happy to behere.
(02:37):
I don't know whether you sleep,I.
Your portfolio.
I'm like, how is she going topresent today?
Because if I, I just reading it,I'm like, how in the world do
you find time for yourself witheverything else you have on your
plate?
(02:59):
That's, you know, really goodquestion.
And I would say for me, whenyou're passionate about what
you're doing.
It doesn't necessarily take, youknow, all of your time when
you're passionate aboutsomething, you're more efficient
with it.
And, um, I do a lot, I reallydo.
Um, but I love everything thatI'm doing and at the center of
(03:22):
it all, I, I do know that Iwouldn't be able to do that if I
don't prioritize, you know, myhealth, um, and ensuring that I
am in a good space to continuedoing the work that I'm doing.
But yeah, it is, it is, it ishard sometimes, honestly.
Um, but I do really effective.
Um, organization, timemanagement in the sense of I
prioritize what is trulyimportant.
(03:43):
Um, I ask myself, what are thefive most important things I
have to do today?
And while there could be athousand things that needs to be
done, I do make sure those fivethings are done.
And if you do that every day,um, you know, that'll, that'll
always push you forward.
That's great advice.
I love why five?
(04:03):
Where did you come up with thatnumber?
It was just my threshold, and itreally depends on the person.
Okay.
Great.
And so like if you feel like youcan only do two things that day
that is still better than, youknow, starting somewhere.
I think that when we have all ofthese dreams, aspirations,
hopes, and, you know, we'reracing against the clock called
time our biggest enemy, right?
(04:25):
We can often feel veryoverwhelmed.
Um, yeah.
And thinking that, you know, weneed to get everything done all
at once.
And so for me, you know.
If you're doing one thing a day,two, if that's your threshold,
that is still advancing yourselfand working within the confines
of, of your own space andhealth.
And so for me, my threshold wasfive things a day.
(04:46):
Um, and when I hit that five, ifI feel like I have it in me to
do one more, I will.
But if I feel like I can dosomething else for myself, I'll
do that instead.
But it's really important toprioritize that balance, um, and
it takes discipline.
So if you do that every day, youwill advance yourself forward
towards your goal.
I love what you're sayingbecause something that I think
(05:09):
is really, really importantright now is the awareness that
you have of yourself through itall, and.
Do you find that getting thatawareness of your threshold as
you referenced and understandingwhat that needs to look like,
(05:29):
sound like, and feel like, doyou feel that that is a
foundational piece or anunderpinning in order to
continue doing everything thatyou love to do, or is there more
to it?
Um, it, it honestly isn't, andit's, and you explain that
really well.
Um, for me it is self-awareness.
Like I think a lot of the timesthat I was one of those people,
(05:53):
um, especially in college whereI was essentially living in my
own delusion.
And it's good to live indelusion, but um, in a positive
way.
Right, right.
And I was, um, you know.
Taking 18 credits and I wasdoing this and I was doing that,
and I was spreading myself thinand I was burning myself out.
Um, and I was just not in aspace where I was ready to admit
(06:16):
that because admitting that.
I was, I couldn't hack it or, orI was some type of failure or
something, which wasn't true.
Right.
Um, the things that we tellourselves, um, you know, we live
in our own delusions a lot ofthe time, right?
And so for me, it, it wasgetting to that self-awareness.
And so it took some time, um,to, to get to that right, to
(06:39):
say, okay, mm-hmm.
Let's, let's take a second.
Let's take a breath.
Let's really think about what.
Matters the most to us.
What are the priorities, um, andwhy?
Right.
Um, I think sometimes we getlost in, in doing all the steps.
We, we forget the why and so itjust took me a second and when I
did realize why I was doing whatI was doing and.
(07:03):
What is important to me, notjust for my career, not just for
my family, but for myself.
Like what is important to mementally, what's important to me
physically, what is important tome emotionally and spiritually.
Um, I wrote those things down.
Um, and when I looked at thebigger picture, it wasn't just
my grades, it was so many thingsthat were important to me that
(07:23):
were being deprived.
And so when I did take a look atall of those things, it, it
helped me.
Remember that I'm, I'm, I'm awhole person.
And sometimes we feel like we'rejust extensions going through
the movements of things.
And so, yeah, I, I think selfawareness is at the core.
Um.
The secret to a lot of thingsand, and it definitely helps me.
(07:45):
So I, I absolutely love whatyou're saying because it sounds
to me like it was a journey and,and I think my experience with
myself and with the clients thatI've supported over the years
and continue to support, that'sone of the things that I think
is common across.
(08:08):
All of our, um, lifespan is thatlife itself is a journey.
And when that awareness peaks.
In interrupts what we've beendoing and allows us to what
you're saying, step back andreprioritize and actually take
the time and the space touncover what's really going on
(08:31):
for you.
By you because of you.
Then you can actually start toreadjust as your awareness
becomes more attuned to what'shappening for you.
Did you find that.
That was a challenge to stopputting.
Or maybe it wasn't.
(08:52):
It's putting everything elsefirst and then realizing, wait a
minute, I'm part of thisimportant nugget, uh, to be
looking after as well aseverything else.
Was that a challenge for you?
I know a lot of my clients arelike, well, isn't that
self-centered?
Isn't that, isn't that being abit egotistic to put myself
first?
Is that something you struggledwith or tell us more about what
(09:13):
came up?
I mean, so this is actuallygreat timing, so I did, it was
a.
I did actually write a bookcalled Life, but Make it
manageable for that very reason.
And, um, in the book, I was verypersonal and I, I usually don't
like getting really, reallypersonal, I mean mm-hmm.
Um, but it, it, I've gottencomfortable in, in speaking
(09:34):
about these truths.
We're all human.
Um, and I talk about being in avault.
Um, and in this vault I.
Never looked back at this vault.
I just reached behind and justkept gi giving and giving and
giving and giving and giving.
And I was happy to give, butnever once did I thought to turn
(09:59):
around and, and give to myself.
And so for me, I talk about.
Thought as a metaphor andthinking about that journey
beginning, I, it wasn't even athought, it wasn't even a
consideration.
Right.
That I can do that for me.
Right.
Just as I'm doing everythingelse.
Um, yeah.
And I just, I just rememberedthere was a time where I could,
(10:22):
I still had plenty to give.
I have a huge heart.
It was more so, even though Ihad a lot to give, I still felt
empty.
And I don't know how else toexplain that.
You don't have to be completelyburnt out.
You may still have so much loveto give and still feel
completely alone and completelyempty, and I just couldn't
understand that feeling.
Um, and it's because I wasn'tgiving anything to myself, even
(10:45):
though I had it.
I had it in the vault lockedaway, and I didn't share it with
me.
And so for me, I had to learnone by one to to, to give myself
things, give myself time, givemyself grace, give myself.
You know, a spot day, givemyself, you know, a opportunity
to do something that is justsomething that I love.
(11:05):
Not for my career, not for myfamily, just for me.
Um, mm-hmm.
It took some time.
Uh, yeah, little by little Idid, and now I feel full, so,
and I still have plenty in thevault for everybody else and
there's nothing to feel guiltyabout.
So it was definitely a journey.
I love what you're saying andthank you for sharing that.
Um.
(11:26):
We, we'll wanna know how toaccess that book too, by the
way.
It's on Amazon.
Yeah.
Okay.
We'll make sure it goes in theshow notes so people can grab
it.
Because what you're talkingabout, I got chills.
I'm like, that's exactly why weare having this show.
This is exactly why we arehaving this conversation.
(11:47):
The depth.
Of capacity that we don't evenunderstand.
We have, like you said, we giveand there's still an empty void
and what's that about?
I know in the audience, peopleare putting their hand up going,
ah, she's speaking to me.
She knows me because this isvery common.
Why when everybody else, I'mgiving to everybody else and
(12:10):
they're feeling so great, whydon't I feel.
Great.
By doing all of that, why isthere that nugget of heaviness
in my heart and it's so valuablewhat you're sharing in terms of
it's a journey and one step at atime and good things that last
take time.
(12:30):
Right?
Rome wasn't built in a day, asmy father would say, forever,
and I never understood what hewas saying, but I do now I have
a better sense and so.
One question I have for you whenyou are doing what you do every
day and pouring back into yourcup, so it's overflowing and in
(12:52):
the saucer now.
Thank you for that.
Do you find or notice that thatchange in your energy, in your
capacity has a greater impactthan you would've expected had
you not been filling your owncup?
Do you notice anything there?
Yeah.
(13:12):
I think that my family, thepeople that I pour into may not
notice it, but I do.
Ah, I feel it in the mornings.
I feel it on the inside.
It's not something people cansee.
It's, it's only something youcan feel.
And I went from dreading wakingup in the mornings, like
literally feeling like a bag ofrocks and like I loved
(13:33):
everything that I did, but Istill was just so miserable.
Yeah.
Like getting that motivation toget up out of bed.
I, I, now, I'm, I can get out ofbed and say, you know what?
I'm gonna take this time tomeditate for me.
I'm gonna make sure that I do mylittle routine for me.
And, and I think the morningsare my favorite part.
'cause it's the most quiet.
It's the before the noise startsand that's the time I want for
(13:55):
myself.
And so, um, it's just, you know,it's just, it feels better.
Like even though the world willnever see it.
I feel better and I see it, andthat's what really matters.
And yeah, no, I definitely, Ican't even, I'm smiling right
now because like, I just, itjust, it feels freeing, um, to
be honest.
(14:15):
And, you know, sometimes you'regonna have to say no.
Sometimes of course you're gonnapiss somebody off, and that's
just, you know what you're gonnahave to do.
Yep.
For your own sanity.
Um, yep.
And if you're the type of personlike me that just wants to be
everything for everyone anddoesn't wanna let people down.
Not that I'm a people people,but,'cause I, I just love the
(14:35):
people I love.
Right, right.
And so when you start to say noand you put those boundaries up,
yeah.
You'll piss some people off.
You'll feel guilty, but youdon't need to.
Right.
And, and it, it takes some timeto, to get used to that.
But you know, the first time Isaid no.
Yeah, of course family wasn'thappy.
They're not gonna be happy beingtold no when they've been told
(14:57):
Yes.
So for so long.
But Sure.
Yeah.
But there's, there's some, um.
There's a lot of weight thatlifts when you say no sometimes.
Mm-hmm.
When you want to prioritizeyourself, that is okay.
There's nothing, absolutelynothing to feel guilty about,
truly.
Right.
Um, you're not any less of aperson.
You do not love them any less,and you have nothing to prove.
(15:18):
Um, right.
You're there, you show up everyday.
That's, that's proof enough.
And so just getting comfortablewith a saying no and B, like
being okay with it.
Yeah.
Um, that allows you to, to, tomake room.
Um, and you have to make roomfor you.
Um.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Or else you're just gonna, likeI say, you're gonna just, you're
(15:38):
gonna evaporate.
You're gonna be there, butyou're not gonna be there.
Right, right, right.
So it's really important toprioritize you.
And, and ever since I've donethat, I feel.
I feel really good, and I thinkit's not to be confused, to be
selfish, right?
Especially people who are right.
Being, um, and prioritizing youis, is different from being
(15:59):
selfish, right?
If you can do.
If you can't, don't.
Right.
Right.
And there's not that, that's thedifference.
So don't, don't feel like you'rebeing selfish by doing that.
Exactly.
Yeah.
It's, it's so true.
And the the, you have to stepinto the water.
Don't jump into the deep end andcut everybody off.
(16:22):
I talk about don't, don't.
Dive into the deep end when youdon't know how to swim, take
those baby steps and it'sincredible when you take the
tiny steps, how that just makesit a little more comfortable, a
little more comfortable justdoing little bits and things
start shifting and it's.
It's no longer a big to-do that.
(16:44):
We've created, you've said thisa lot already in your
conversation, what we create inour mind, we create such big
obstacles that are only in ourmind.
They're not necessarily real,but they're real because it's
our belief.
Right?
Yes.
Which brings me to my question,is there one belief that you
feel women need to release tomake space for the impact that
(17:10):
they.
Are meant to have in theirworld, whether it's their
immediate world or the big,grandiose world.
Is there a belief?
Yes, Beth, thank you so much forasking me that.
And I do think that, and I thinkthat belief is you are good
enough, you are enough.
Not you attached to your job,not you attached to your
(17:32):
degrees, not you attached toyour family, not you attached to
your titles.
None of those things you.
That's it.
You are enough.
And I think that when we stripall the things away that we
worked on that, that, that givesus value.
We think we lose it, but we werealready valuable.
(17:54):
Hmm.
Um, and so it's, it's reallyhard to think about that.
I have my doctorate degree, Ihave this, I have that.
When we take all those thingsaway, how do you feel If you do
not feel like you are enough,that is where you start.
Beautiful, beautiful.
Our identity.
Who are you?
(18:15):
Right?
And do this for you, by youbecause of you, Dr.
Warwick.
What a beautiful conversationyou have such talent, such
brilliance.
It's been an honor to sharespace with you in this
conversation today.
Is there anything that you wouldlove to leave our audience with?
Any final words of wisdom?
(18:40):
Yeah, I would say.
Do something that you've wantedto do for a while, but been
putting off?
I, I think that something, youknow, just to end the
conversation light, but fun andexciting.
Yeah.
Um, maybe you've been wanting togo full walk.
It could be as simple as that.
And you just, you always put outsomething else to do instead.
Maybe you wanted to, to, youknow, go out to dinner with a
(19:02):
friend.
Um, maybe you want to try outthat new yoga class.
I don't know.
But whatever it is that you'vebeen wanting to do.
You just didn't think it wasimportant.
Um, so you've put it off.
Um, it is important, so maybegive it a try and see where that
takes you.
I love that.
Thank you so much for thisadvice, this conversation.
If you are not following us onThrive after 45.
(19:27):
Please give us a follow.
You do not want to miss theseincredible conversations that I
get to have with these amazingguests every single week.
I wish you all the best.
Make sure that you thrive after45 and beyond and do something
for you by you because of youtoday.
(19:47):
Have a great day everyone.
Bye.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!