This episode is a true gem. I'm so honoured to welcome back Jacqueline Perez, the heart-centered force behind Cool Life and a powerful champion for women in midlife.
Jacqueline is the embodiment of everything we talk about here on Thrive After 45™: that our second act is where we truly rise into our power.
Jacqueline gets real about her own menopause journey, which she says hit her "like a tractor trailer" and shook her physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Instead of letting it defeat her, she chose to face it head-on and transformed it into a global movement to normalize aging.
We talk about the importance of being "selfish" in your healing process , and how that choice ultimately benefits everyone around you.
She also shares the story behind her beautiful new book of poetry, Metamorphosis in Stanis, which she wrote as a way to process a series of difficult life events. The book is a woman's midlife companion that includes QR codes for each poem, so you can listen to her read them and feel the full energy behind her words.
Jacqueline even reads one of the poems, "A World in Three Crayons," which is a perfect reminder that we can do amazing things with what we’ve been given, even if it feels like we only have "three crayons".
This conversation is a permission slip to see yourself as a masterpiece in progress, to embrace every season of your life, and to believe that the best is truly yet to come.
Go follow Jacqueline:
🖥️ Website → https://kuellife.com/
📕 Get her poetry book "Metamorphosis in Stanzas"
Thank you for spending time with me today on the Thrive After 45™ podcast! If this episode spoke to you, be sure to hit that follow button so you never miss one.
And if you loved it, I’d be so grateful if you left a review - it helps more amazing women like you find this show!
Your journey doesn’t stop here - let’s keep the conversation going! Connect with me at denisedrinkwalter.com, and follow @thethriveafter45podcast for daily insp, tips, and support.
Remember, midlife isn’t the end - it’s just the beginning of a new, exciting chapter! Keep thriving, keep shining, and I’ll see you next time!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Thrive after 45.
(00:03):
The podcast for women ready toexpand, embody their truth, and
shine unapologetically in thesecond half of life.
I'm Denise Drink Walter HeartWhisperer, midlife mirror and
mentor.
Every week I am honored to shareenergy and space with inspiring
guests whose stories reflect somany possibilities of thriving
(00:27):
beyond 45.
Together we'll uncover thewhispers of the heart, the power
of midlife transformation, andthe wisdom that fuels expansion.
What if everything you've beentold about fading, shrinking,
becoming invisible in midlifewas a lie, and this is the
(00:47):
moment you rise into yourfullest power.
What an honor and a privilege towelcome our returning special
guest, Jacqueline Perez, to ourshow today.
Jack is the embodiment of thetruth that midlife is where you
rise to this fullest power.
As the founder and CEO of CoolLife author, an unapologetic pro
(01:13):
aging champion, Jack transformedher own menopause journey.
One that shook her physically,emotionally, and spiritually
into a global movement tonormalize aging, reclaiming
women's visibility.
Since 2017, she has impactedwell over 100,000 women
(01:34):
worldwide.
Through her platform, SundayRoundup newsletter, podcasts,
and published work with morethan 36,000 women and growing.
Following her on Instagramalone, she has built a thriving
international community thatamplifies.
Women's voices challengesoutdated narratives and provides
(01:56):
the resources to boldly reinventhealth relationships, health,
relationships, careers andpersonal growth.
Jack's mission is clear andpowerful to dismantle the myths
that hold women back and provethat midlife is not the end.
It's the most extraordinary.
Beginning.
(02:16):
Welcome to our show today,Jacqueline.
Thank you, Denise.
I'm a little worried after thatintro I'm like, maybe I should
just say that.
That's all folks.
I mean, I don't Sure follow up,but, okay.
I, I will do my level best.
We are in the room to have someincredible conversations and
(02:37):
when I ask every guest, um, tojust give me a bit of
background, something you talkedabout was how menopause hit you,
like a tractor trailer changingeverything like your physical,
your emotional, even your senseof identity.
How did that experience.
(02:59):
Take you from where you were towhom you are now in shaping this
incredible vision behind yourcommunity of cool life.
It's funny, Denise,'causemenopause, it happens to every
other human on the planet,right?
I mean, it's not, it's not aweird thing, it's not an unusual
(03:19):
thing.
Mm-hmm.
And I know many, after sevenyears of being in this field, I
know hundreds of women wearmenopause.
Didn't, didn't bother them allthat much, or they noticed it a
little, but they got kind ofthrough it and they were fine.
I, unfortunately, or in my case,fortunately mm-hmm.
Because I'll let you know rightnow, I would not be a pro aging
(03:44):
champion on a mission tonormalize aging.
Had I been one of quote unquotethe lucky ones.
I wasn't.
I I, I was at the weight of theday that I gave birth to my son.
I didn't wanna get outta bed.
My anxiety was over the top.
And I am not wired as an anxiousperson.
(04:05):
I am wired as almost a Pollyannakind of person.
Losing that.
And then, and then theattributes that come with aging,
looking at yourself in themirror.
And it was, it was all too much.
And I was, what?
52?
I thought, Hmm.
Hmm.
My organs are healthy.
I'm a healthy human being.
I could be here for quite sometime.
(04:27):
Is this how I wanna spend therest of my time on this planet?
No.
Yeah.
The answer was no.
I began to look for answersselfishly for me.
Yep.
And perfect.
Right?
Because honestly, that was themotivator.
Fix Jack's life was mymotivator.
(04:49):
I, I, I am not that altruistic,ladies.
I apologize.
During the course of figuringout what worked for me, I
started realizing, hmm, whatabout women out there who are
suffering like I was sufferingor was suffering, and for
(05:09):
whatever reason, they're notwired to, or they don't have the
time, or they don't have thebandwidth.
To kind of look at it from amore 50,000 foot level.
I, I did.
I thought, well, if this ishappening to me, I'm not that
special.
I bet it is happening to a lotof women.
(05:31):
And that is, that was theprimary motivator for me to
begin the path that has led meto where I am today.
It was.
To help solve the issue forother women to at least bring
them the information in a waythat they could trust and in,
in, in one rep repository.
(05:53):
My issue at the time, now, mindyou, this is seven years ago,
right?
Things have changed a lot forthe better, for the better,
right.
Uh, but we're not there yet.
No, exactly.
Yeah.
The demand far outweighs thesupply.
For relevant, accurate, kind,actionable information for women
(06:19):
during this season of life.
Mm-hmm.
Menopause, the physiologicalchange, Denise, as you know, is
one attribute of myriad of newopportunities and challenges
that present themselves duringthis phase.
Yeah.
And while the, while thephysical one, I, for me was so
(06:40):
palpable that that was mymotivator, right.
I soon realized that there weremany, many issues to deal with
and many, mm-hmm.
Many topics to cover to helpwomen navigate what I truly
believe is the most fabulouspart of my life anyway.
Yeah.
(07:00):
You know, you mentioned theimportance of.
How it hits and how it hitsdifferently for everyone.
And I recognize and know thatmany women, like you suggested,
have major life shifts throughmenopause, and others just seem
(07:23):
to fly through it, like life.
Oh, is this what's happening?
Oh, I didn't even reallyrealize.
Thank goodness for what you wentthrough and how you took it to
empower yourself.
And I love that you have abroader vision to know that this
(07:43):
is important information for amuch wider audience.
And you know you're no longeralone.
And I love that you wereselfish.
In the beginning, because inorder to do that, I'm guessing
based on women as who we are asa collective, we do not
naturally, um, show ourselves asbeing selfish, as giving back,
(08:07):
okay, I need to figure this out.
For me, it, it, it many timescomes against, uh, you know, a
big thrust in our lives wherewe're hit against the wall.
It's like, ah, I can't doanything else.
I gotta do me.
And isn't it too bad that wehave to do it that way?
Like, thank you for doing whatyou're doing, because then
people don't have to hit thatwall first.
(08:29):
They can have the informationprior.
That is my goal.
Yeah.
My goal is that our youngersisters, yeah, will have other
issues to solve when they getthere, but this one won't.
One of them, I'm sure there willbe others.
There's, there's no way youdon't get away and stage.
There's always something aroundthe corner since aging is
(08:49):
normal.
Menopause is normal.
My goal is to normalize thisaging process so that it's, it's
the options are there for women,whatever, whatever they choose.
However, path works for them.
Without the judgment, withoutthe criticism, and with an armed
(09:09):
with valuable, accurate scienceand spurts that, that they can
actually.
Make changes for themselves in,in for, for the positive.
And it's funny'cause you said itwas a good thing that I was
selfish.
Well, yes and no.
I wasn't of value to anyone.
I was a terrible mother.
I was a terrible partner.
(09:31):
Who I was, I was a shadow of whoI am.
And so, yes, it was selfish'cause it was for me.
Everyone else around mebenefited as well.
Sort of like the whole put themask on.
I hate this analogy.
There's gotta be a better one.
You know, you put the air maskon your oxygen mask on yourself,
first on the airplane, and thenyou handle the people around
you.
(09:51):
That's kind of, that's kind ofthe same thing.
I mean, there's a reason we saythat because it's accurate and
true, right?
There's so much around, um,energy and when our energy is
zapped.
Everybody else around us isaffected.
When our energy is on point,everyone else around us is
(10:13):
affected.
Right.
So I love what you're saying interms of Yes, it was a good
thing, bad thing isn't lifealways like that?
You can always look at glasshalf full, glass, half empty.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Jordan sorrow live in the same,right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
They live in the same container.
Yeah.
(10:34):
Yeah.
And it's right.
I know, but it's a, it's, it'slife.
It's, well, it's just, it's partof the human condition.
Exactly.
And pretending, pretending thatyou're not human is, yeah.
It's kind of a fruitlessendeavor if you think about it.
Yeah, it'll, it'll be an uphillclimb forever.
Yeah.
(10:56):
It's just a thin task for sure.
Yes.
Right.
Yeah.
I'm looking behind you and weneed to jump into the brilliance
that you have taken all of yourcollective writing thoughts,
energy, ideas, experiences, and.
(11:16):
Encapsulated them beautifullyinto your book, metamorphosis in
Stanis.
Tell us about that.
Tell us about the journey andthen I know there's one in there
that you're gonna read for us.
It's going to land for everysingle listener, so jump in, I
(11:37):
hope.
Yeah, so we, we were talkingabout what initially motivated
me and drove me to create.
Platform cool life.
Right?
Well, and we also talked aboutjoy and sorrow living in the
same container.
The other thing that we all needto realize and remember is that
it's cyclical, it's evergreen.
(11:58):
You don't solve a problem, putit on the shelf and go, woo, all
done with that one.
Let's move on.
Right.
Yeah.
I, I had a myriad of things hitme again last year.
Uh, my son, I, the whole emptynest thing.
Yep.
I didn't think it had hit me ashard as it did.
(12:20):
I had some distractions when myson left home.
Mm-hmm.
Because when he left home, I hada pretty bad skydiving accident
that left me with, um, threebroken vertebrae.
I focused mostly on healing mybody when he had walked out the
door and put the, oh my God, I,I no longer parent someone kind
of in the, in the back.
(12:41):
Closet.
Right.
Well, thing with stuff like thatis you can get distracted for a
period of time.
Mm-hmm.
But if you don't deal with it,if you don't go through it.
Right.
If you just lock it awaysomewhere and sometimes you have
to and sometimes you have tobecause of circumstance.
Right.
But then it's just there waitingfor you.
And it came up last year, mysister, we have shared.
(13:05):
We had our babies 10 days apart.
And that was not by accident,Denise.
That was on.
Yeah.
That just shows you the level ofcommitment that we had to each
other.
Well, she made a differentdecision and moved away 3000
miles, and then I lost what Ihad believed was going to be a
lifetime relationship with afriend.
(13:27):
And I didn't realize that youcould break up with friends, but
you can.
And, and we were grown up aboutit.
We were both, we both heldourselves accountable.
We had conversation and we bothrealized it was, we were better
off kind of just kind of puttingit on hold.
Yep.
That was devastating too.
And I didn't know what to dowith all of those emotions.
(13:50):
And as you said, I'm a writer,I'm an author.
Mm-hmm.
However, I have written, I'm anessayist.
I'm gonna essay this.
I have hundreds and hundreds ofthings out there under the
umbrella of Jack's smack, okay?
Yep.
Right.
So hundreds of essays, and Iwrite a lot about the midlife,
you know, the midlife condition,and I'm pretty cheeky about it.
(14:13):
Self-deprecating.
Your tongue in cheek, kinda likeI have a bizarre perspective on
the world.
Well, when I went to process.
What was happening to me in thisseason of my life.
Mm-hmm.
Came out wasn't essay, it waspoems.
And had I ever written poemsbefore?
(14:36):
Hmm.
Outside of the ones that myteacher made me write when I was
junior, senior in high school.
Yeah.
So much.
But I found myself at like threeo'clock in the morning writing
poetry.
Then I decided, well, okay, I'mgonna challenge myself 30 poems
(14:56):
in 30 days.
And I did it.
And then I published, what Irealized I had created was a
woman's midlife companion.
Hmm.
Amazing.
I was seen my truth, but when Isent it out for, you know, edits
and.
(15:17):
Comments and should I publishthis?
What I got from my communitybasically was I saw myself in so
many, mm.
I just, I, I, I could, I couldhear my own thoughts through
your words, and I know, Denise,that poetry is not commercially
(15:37):
viable.
A lot of people, a lot of peopleare like, Ooh, poetry.
Mm, not sure.
Not a big poetry fan.
Well, what I did was I recordedthem all in my closet, and then
I have included QR codes foreach poem.
(15:58):
Nice.
That way if a woman feels like,huh, I'm not sure I get this, or
I'm not sure what she's tryingto tell me.
All you have to do is put yourlittle phone up to the QR code
and listen in, because I amhappy mm-hmm.
To share with you what I mean ineach of these poems.
(16:20):
I love that.
I love that.
So what the audio is, is areading of each poem.
Yes.
Not, not the whole book.
Right.
I mean, there's, there's prosein the book that describes.
You know what, what I wasthinking when I was writing the
okay poem, but with the poemitself, on that page, there's a
(16:45):
QR code that literally just hasthe poem.
Hmm.
In an audio format.
I know a lot of women preferthat.
So, uh, my educator brain isjumping right in there going,
this is brilliant, because thosewho are auditory learners will
(17:06):
really connect with that.
Not only that, but the energythat you bring as you read it.
'cause your whole self isinvolved in that reading.
And it's funny, I haven't.
I don't know how the idea cameto me about sticking the QR code
in there.
Well, I know how it came to mebecause I had recorded a few of
(17:28):
them and put them on TikTok justfor grin and giggle.
This is before, this is before Irealized I was making a book.
Right.
I mean, I had no idea.
Sure.
Making a book.
No idea.
I just needed to create thisformat to process the crap that
was killing me.
It was just hurting and it wave.
So much I couldn't carry it.
(17:50):
Yeah.
I had to get it out and that'sreally, yeah.
So then I stuck it, a few ofthem on TikTok and I got such a
positive response from TikTokthat I thought, Hmm, what if I
just, what if QR code in thebook?
And to my know, I haven't seenthat yet.
I mean, maybe it's already outthere, but I haven't really seen
a lot of that.
Mm-hmm.
(18:13):
Can I invite you.
To share in our energy heretoday, one of whichever one you
wanna choose.
Can you read one for us so thatthe audience, so the audience
can actually a access thefullness of and the richness of
(18:38):
your right.
I would be, I would be honoredand I'm gonna read one
specifically.
For your audience, I know thatyou help women really navigate
their sovereignty during thismidlife mm-hmm.
And beyond, period.
Yeah.
And I know that we would alllike to have a plethora of the
(19:02):
tools we need every time asituation comes up.
We also know that by this stagein life, that we don't always
have every tool available toourselves.
That doesn't mean we can'tcontinue.
That doesn't mean we don't needto continue.
We have to make the best of theworld with what we've got.
(19:22):
And that's what this poem speaksto.
Nice.
And it's called A World in ThreeCrayons.
And I don't, I don't know ifthis is an a visual, but this
kind of shows you where the QRcode.
Is absolutely in the page.
So the YouTube channel willabsolutely show the visual.
And I'll just briefly say thatyou just shared the book and
(19:46):
showing Exactly.
It's beautifully laid out, bythe way.
No surprise.
It helps.
It helps when the B FFF is agraphic designer.
Oh.
And she can't say no to you.
There you go.
Bonus win.
Absolutely shout out to NancyKnight because she couldn't say
(20:07):
no.
She had to help me, so love it.
Love it.
Oh, um, A world in Three crayonsIn life, we dream of vibrant
hues, a box of crayons vast touse.
The 1 52 with colors bright.
(20:28):
Each shade defined each linejust right with built-in
sharpener to hone, we'd craft amasterpiece our own, but often
fate.
Hands us a pack.
Three waxy crayons, colors,lack, no golden rod, no
(20:49):
midnight, blue, just red andgreen, and wanna skew.
With crayons from a diner's tin,we fight the fight with what's
within.
No time to sharpen, no granddisplay, just scribbles made in
shades of gray.
(21:09):
We armor up with what we hold.
Our tools are weak, but heartsare bold.
And though we wish for hues,untold for pallets, rich.
Silver, gold.
We face the world with whatwe've got and hope to color
(21:31):
life's blank spot.
So here we stand, our crayonsworn with simple tools or
spirits worn.
Yet in these lines, rough andundefined.
A deeper beauty, we still find.
(21:53):
Just three crayons.
Dull and bear.
We sketch our stories.
Choose to dare though.
Colors bleed and lines.
Miss lay, the heart remains inlight and play.
Hmm.
(22:15):
Thank you for that.
Oh, you're welcome.
Wow.
Thank you for allowing me toshare that.
Beautiful, beautiful.
And if that resonates, I know itdid in my body.
I could feel it.
I could visualize all kinds ofthings.
And if people listening youwanna share in the comments,
we'd love to hear how thatreading came through for you.
(22:41):
Jacqueline, I had a woman tellme once she could smell the box
of crayons, right?
She had, when she was a child,she could literally smell the
Crayola box.
Yes.
I'm like, wow, lady, you've gota great imagination, right?
It's, and, and that's thebeautiful thing.
What you've put out there camefrom your heart center and it's
now reaching the world's heartcenter.
(23:03):
So thank you for bringing thatlight.
To the world through your bookMetamorphosis in Stanis.
So beautiful.
Thank you, Denise.
Thank you for allowing me toshare it with your audience.
Absolutely.
If every woman, woman that waslistening to our conversation
(23:26):
today and to your beautifulgifts and to everything that you
have put so divinely out intothe world, if we could walk away
with one unshakeable truth aboutourselves in midlife, what would
you want that truth to be?
(23:50):
What I want for every woman whois my age, we're a little bit
younger'cause I'm, I'm notreally a midlife anymore.
Right.
I'm sorry.
I'm in that beyond midlife part.
What I would want every woman tofeel inside is that this is the
best season thus far.
(24:11):
Mm.
That somehow we were told a packof lies.
Yeah.
That.
We were declining, that we werebecoming invisible, that we
weren't very useful.
Oh my goodness gracious.
Enjoy the fact that you're notthat useful anymore.
So what?
Be useful to yourself.
(24:31):
Do what you want.
Be the person.
Be the woman you wanna be.
You have it in you now, andeveryone's gonna, you have more
room now to do that.
Yeah.
That's what I would want everywoman to really not, not think
it, not frontal lobit Denise,not frontal lobe.
Right.
Thank you.
(24:52):
Not frontal lobit.
I want it to be the reptilianbrain.
The back, I mean the gut thatyou understand that you have
been given this gift of a, of alifespan that women in the early
19 hundreds didn't get.
Yeah.
And now we get it.
Mm-hmm.
We get this extra lifespan.
(25:13):
We can do anything we want.
Yeah.
And don't miss out on theopportunity that's sitting right
in front of you, which is to Doyou now, just like you say,
Jack, do you?
The world needs us.
Yeah.
(25:34):
Yeah.
Thank you for being with ustoday on Thrive after 45.
I would love our listeners totake a moment, breathe and
notice what touched your hearttoday.
(25:55):
That's your soul, whisperingyour next step.
If you feel called to go deeperinto your journey, I've opened
up the ME Academy portal.
It's a space where women embodyradiance and really thrive.
In the second half of life,you'll find the links everywhere
(26:20):
over my social media.
You can't miss it.
Always message me.
I've got you.
Until next week, keep listening.
Keep expanding and keep honoringall of those quiet whispers that
live within.
(26:40):
Thank you everyone.
Thank you, Jacqueline.
Thank you, Denise.
Welcome to Thrive after 45.
(00:03):
The podcast for women ready toexpand, embody their truth, and
shine unapologetically in thesecond half of life.
I'm Denise Drink Walter HeartWhisperer, midlife mirror and
mentor.
Every week I am honored to shareenergy and space with inspiring
guests whose stories reflect somany possibilities of thriving
(00:27):
beyond 45.
Together we'll uncover thewhispers of the heart, the power
of midlife transformation, andthe wisdom that fuels expansion.
What if everything you've beentold about fading, shrinking,
becoming invisible in midlifewas a lie, and this is the
(00:47):
moment you rise into yourfullest power.
What an honor and a privilege towelcome our returning special
guest, Jacqueline Perez, to ourshow today.
Jack is the embodiment of thetruth that midlife is where you
rise to this fullest power.
As the founder and CEO of CoolLife author, an unapologetic pro
(01:13):
aging champion, Jack transformedher own menopause journey.
One that shook her physically,emotionally, and spiritually
into a global movement tonormalize aging, reclaiming
women's visibility.
Since 2017, she has impactedwell over 100,000 women
(01:34):
worldwide.
Through her platform, SundayRoundup newsletter, podcasts,
and published work with morethan 36,000 women and growing.
Following her on Instagramalone, she has built a thriving
international community thatamplifies.
Women's voices challengesoutdated narratives and provides
(01:56):
the resources to boldly reinventhealth relationships, health,
relationships, careers andpersonal growth.
Jack's mission is clear andpowerful to dismantle the myths
that hold women back and provethat midlife is not the end.
It's the most extraordinary.
Beginning.
(02:16):
Welcome to our show today,Jacqueline.
Thank you, Denise.
I'm a little worried after thatintro I'm like, maybe I should
just say that.
That's all folks.
I mean, I don't Sure follow up,but, okay.
I, I will do my level best.
We are in the room to have someincredible conversations and
(02:37):
when I ask every guest, um, tojust give me a bit of
background, something you talkedabout was how menopause hit you,
like a tractor trailer changingeverything like your physical,
your emotional, even your senseof identity.
How did that experience.
(02:59):
Take you from where you were towhom you are now in shaping this
incredible vision behind yourcommunity of cool life.
It's funny, Denise,'causemenopause, it happens to every
other human on the planet,right?
I mean, it's not, it's not aweird thing, it's not an unusual
(03:19):
thing.
Mm-hmm.
And I know many, after sevenyears of being in this field, I
know hundreds of women wearmenopause.
Didn't, didn't bother them allthat much, or they noticed it a
little, but they got kind ofthrough it and they were fine.
I, unfortunately, or in my case,fortunately mm-hmm.
Because I'll let you know rightnow, I would not be a pro aging
(03:44):
champion on a mission tonormalize aging.
Had I been one of quote unquotethe lucky ones.
I wasn't.
I I, I was at the weight of theday that I gave birth to my son.
I didn't wanna get outta bed.
My anxiety was over the top.
And I am not wired as an anxiousperson.
(04:05):
I am wired as almost a Pollyannakind of person.
Losing that.
And then, and then theattributes that come with aging,
looking at yourself in themirror.
And it was, it was all too much.
And I was, what?
52?
I thought, Hmm.
Hmm.
My organs are healthy.
I'm a healthy human being.
I could be here for quite sometime.
(04:27):
Is this how I wanna spend therest of my time on this planet?
No.
Yeah.
The answer was no.
I began to look for answersselfishly for me.
Yep.
And perfect.
Right?
Because honestly, that was themotivator.
Fix Jack's life was mymotivator.
(04:49):
I, I, I am not that altruistic,ladies.
I apologize.
During the course of figuringout what worked for me, I
started realizing, hmm, whatabout women out there who are
suffering like I was sufferingor was suffering, and for
(05:09):
whatever reason, they're notwired to, or they don't have the
time, or they don't have thebandwidth.
To kind of look at it from amore 50,000 foot level.
I, I did.
I thought, well, if this ishappening to me, I'm not that
special.
I bet it is happening to a lotof women.
(05:31):
And that is, that was theprimary motivator for me to
begin the path that has led meto where I am today.
It was.
To help solve the issue forother women to at least bring
them the information in a waythat they could trust and in,
in, in one rep repository.
(05:53):
My issue at the time, now, mindyou, this is seven years ago,
right?
Things have changed a lot forthe better, for the better,
right.
Uh, but we're not there yet.
No, exactly.
Yeah.
The demand far outweighs thesupply.
For relevant, accurate, kind,actionable information for women
(06:19):
during this season of life.
Mm-hmm.
Menopause, the physiologicalchange, Denise, as you know, is
one attribute of myriad of newopportunities and challenges
that present themselves duringthis phase.
Yeah.
And while the, while thephysical one, I, for me was so
(06:40):
palpable that that was mymotivator, right.
I soon realized that there weremany, many issues to deal with
and many, mm-hmm.
Many topics to cover to helpwomen navigate what I truly
believe is the most fabulouspart of my life anyway.
Yeah.
(07:00):
You know, you mentioned theimportance of.
How it hits and how it hitsdifferently for everyone.
And I recognize and know thatmany women, like you suggested,
have major life shifts throughmenopause, and others just seem
(07:23):
to fly through it, like life.
Oh, is this what's happening?
Oh, I didn't even reallyrealize.
Thank goodness for what you wentthrough and how you took it to
empower yourself.
And I love that you have abroader vision to know that this
(07:43):
is important information for amuch wider audience.
And you know you're no longeralone.
And I love that you wereselfish.
In the beginning, because inorder to do that, I'm guessing
based on women as who we are asa collective, we do not
naturally, um, show ourselves asbeing selfish, as giving back,
(08:07):
okay, I need to figure this out.
For me, it, it, it many timescomes against, uh, you know, a
big thrust in our lives wherewe're hit against the wall.
It's like, ah, I can't doanything else.
I gotta do me.
And isn't it too bad that wehave to do it that way?
Like, thank you for doing whatyou're doing, because then
people don't have to hit thatwall first.
(08:29):
They can have the informationprior.
That is my goal.
Yeah.
My goal is that our youngersisters, yeah, will have other
issues to solve when they getthere, but this one won't.
One of them, I'm sure there willbe others.
There's, there's no way youdon't get away and stage.
There's always something aroundthe corner since aging is
(08:49):
normal.
Menopause is normal.
My goal is to normalize thisaging process so that it's, it's
the options are there for women,whatever, whatever they choose.
However, path works for them.
Without the judgment, withoutthe criticism, and with an armed
(09:09):
with valuable, accurate scienceand spurts that, that they can
actually.
Make changes for themselves in,in for, for the positive.
And it's funny'cause you said itwas a good thing that I was
selfish.
Well, yes and no.
I wasn't of value to anyone.
I was a terrible mother.
I was a terrible partner.
(09:31):
Who I was, I was a shadow of whoI am.
And so, yes, it was selfish'cause it was for me.
Everyone else around mebenefited as well.
Sort of like the whole put themask on.
I hate this analogy.
There's gotta be a better one.
You know, you put the air maskon your oxygen mask on yourself,
first on the airplane, and thenyou handle the people around
you.
(09:51):
That's kind of, that's kind ofthe same thing.
I mean, there's a reason we saythat because it's accurate and
true, right?
There's so much around, um,energy and when our energy is
zapped.
Everybody else around us isaffected.
When our energy is on point,everyone else around us is
(10:13):
affected.
Right.
So I love what you're saying interms of Yes, it was a good
thing, bad thing isn't lifealways like that?
You can always look at glasshalf full, glass, half empty.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Jordan sorrow live in the same,right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
They live in the same container.
Yeah.
(10:34):
Yeah.
And it's right.
I know, but it's a, it's, it'slife.
It's, well, it's just, it's partof the human condition.
Exactly.
And pretending, pretending thatyou're not human is, yeah.
It's kind of a fruitlessendeavor if you think about it.
Yeah, it'll, it'll be an uphillclimb forever.
Yeah.
(10:56):
It's just a thin task for sure.
Yes.
Right.
Yeah.
I'm looking behind you and weneed to jump into the brilliance
that you have taken all of yourcollective writing thoughts,
energy, ideas, experiences, and.
(11:16):
Encapsulated them beautifullyinto your book, metamorphosis in
Stanis.
Tell us about that.
Tell us about the journey andthen I know there's one in there
that you're gonna read for us.
It's going to land for everysingle listener, so jump in, I
(11:37):
hope.
Yeah, so we, we were talkingabout what initially motivated
me and drove me to create.
Platform cool life.
Right?
Well, and we also talked aboutjoy and sorrow living in the
same container.
The other thing that we all needto realize and remember is that
it's cyclical, it's evergreen.
(11:58):
You don't solve a problem, putit on the shelf and go, woo, all
done with that one.
Let's move on.
Right.
Yeah.
I, I had a myriad of things hitme again last year.
Uh, my son, I, the whole emptynest thing.
Yep.
I didn't think it had hit me ashard as it did.
(12:20):
I had some distractions when myson left home.
Mm-hmm.
Because when he left home, I hada pretty bad skydiving accident
that left me with, um, threebroken vertebrae.
I focused mostly on healing mybody when he had walked out the
door and put the, oh my God, I,I no longer parent someone kind
of in the, in the back.
(12:41):
Closet.
Right.
Well, thing with stuff like thatis you can get distracted for a
period of time.
Mm-hmm.
But if you don't deal with it,if you don't go through it.
Right.
If you just lock it awaysomewhere and sometimes you have
to and sometimes you have tobecause of circumstance.
Right.
But then it's just there waitingfor you.
And it came up last year, mysister, we have shared.
(13:05):
We had our babies 10 days apart.
And that was not by accident,Denise.
That was on.
Yeah.
That just shows you the level ofcommitment that we had to each
other.
Well, she made a differentdecision and moved away 3000
miles, and then I lost what Ihad believed was going to be a
lifetime relationship with afriend.
(13:27):
And I didn't realize that youcould break up with friends, but
you can.
And, and we were grown up aboutit.
We were both, we both heldourselves accountable.
We had conversation and we bothrealized it was, we were better
off kind of just kind of puttingit on hold.
Yep.
That was devastating too.
And I didn't know what to dowith all of those emotions.
(13:50):
And as you said, I'm a writer,I'm an author.
Mm-hmm.
However, I have written, I'm anessayist.
I'm gonna essay this.
I have hundreds and hundreds ofthings out there under the
umbrella of Jack's smack, okay?
Yep.
Right.
So hundreds of essays, and Iwrite a lot about the midlife,
you know, the midlife condition,and I'm pretty cheeky about it.
(14:13):
Self-deprecating.
Your tongue in cheek, kinda likeI have a bizarre perspective on
the world.
Well, when I went to process.
What was happening to me in thisseason of my life.
Mm-hmm.
Came out wasn't essay, it waspoems.
And had I ever written poemsbefore?
(14:36):
Hmm.
Outside of the ones that myteacher made me write when I was
junior, senior in high school.
Yeah.
So much.
But I found myself at like threeo'clock in the morning writing
poetry.
Then I decided, well, okay, I'mgonna challenge myself 30 poems
(14:56):
in 30 days.
And I did it.
And then I published, what Irealized I had created was a
woman's midlife companion.
Hmm.
Amazing.
I was seen my truth, but when Isent it out for, you know, edits
and.
(15:17):
Comments and should I publishthis?
What I got from my communitybasically was I saw myself in so
many, mm.
I just, I, I, I could, I couldhear my own thoughts through
your words, and I know, Denise,that poetry is not commercially
(15:37):
viable.
A lot of people, a lot of peopleare like, Ooh, poetry.
Mm, not sure.
Not a big poetry fan.
Well, what I did was I recordedthem all in my closet, and then
I have included QR codes foreach poem.
(15:58):
Nice.
That way if a woman feels like,huh, I'm not sure I get this, or
I'm not sure what she's tryingto tell me.
All you have to do is put yourlittle phone up to the QR code
and listen in, because I amhappy mm-hmm.
To share with you what I mean ineach of these poems.
(16:20):
I love that.
I love that.
So what the audio is, is areading of each poem.
Yes.
Not, not the whole book.
Right.
I mean, there's, there's prosein the book that describes.
You know what, what I wasthinking when I was writing the
okay poem, but with the poemitself, on that page, there's a
(16:45):
QR code that literally just hasthe poem.
Hmm.
In an audio format.
I know a lot of women preferthat.
So, uh, my educator brain isjumping right in there going,
this is brilliant, because thosewho are auditory learners will
(17:06):
really connect with that.
Not only that, but the energythat you bring as you read it.
'cause your whole self isinvolved in that reading.
And it's funny, I haven't.
I don't know how the idea cameto me about sticking the QR code
in there.
Well, I know how it came to mebecause I had recorded a few of
(17:28):
them and put them on TikTok justfor grin and giggle.
This is before, this is before Irealized I was making a book.
Right.
I mean, I had no idea.
Sure.
Making a book.
No idea.
I just needed to create thisformat to process the crap that
was killing me.
It was just hurting and it wave.
So much I couldn't carry it.
(17:50):
Yeah.
I had to get it out and that'sreally, yeah.
So then I stuck it, a few ofthem on TikTok and I got such a
positive response from TikTokthat I thought, Hmm, what if I
just, what if QR code in thebook?
And to my know, I haven't seenthat yet.
I mean, maybe it's already outthere, but I haven't really seen
a lot of that.
Mm-hmm.
(18:13):
Can I invite you.
To share in our energy heretoday, one of whichever one you
wanna choose.
Can you read one for us so thatthe audience, so the audience
can actually a access thefullness of and the richness of
(18:38):
your right.
I would be, I would be honoredand I'm gonna read one
specifically.
For your audience, I know thatyou help women really navigate
their sovereignty during thismidlife mm-hmm.
And beyond, period.
Yeah.
And I know that we would alllike to have a plethora of the
(19:02):
tools we need every time asituation comes up.
We also know that by this stagein life, that we don't always
have every tool available toourselves.
That doesn't mean we can'tcontinue.
That doesn't mean we don't needto continue.
We have to make the best of theworld with what we've got.
(19:22):
And that's what this poem speaksto.
Nice.
And it's called A World in ThreeCrayons.
And I don't, I don't know ifthis is an a visual, but this
kind of shows you where the QRcode.
Is absolutely in the page.
So the YouTube channel willabsolutely show the visual.
And I'll just briefly say thatyou just shared the book and
(19:46):
showing Exactly.
It's beautifully laid out, bythe way.
No surprise.
It helps.
It helps when the B FFF is agraphic designer.
Oh.
And she can't say no to you.
There you go.
Bonus win.
Absolutely shout out to NancyKnight because she couldn't say
(20:07):
no.
She had to help me, so love it.
Love it.
Oh, um, A world in Three crayonsIn life, we dream of vibrant
hues, a box of crayons vast touse.
The 1 52 with colors bright.
(20:28):
Each shade defined each linejust right with built-in
sharpener to hone, we'd craft amasterpiece our own, but often
fate.
Hands us a pack.
Three waxy crayons, colors,lack, no golden rod, no
(20:49):
midnight, blue, just red andgreen, and wanna skew.
With crayons from a diner's tin,we fight the fight with what's
within.
No time to sharpen, no granddisplay, just scribbles made in
shades of gray.
(21:09):
We armor up with what we hold.
Our tools are weak, but heartsare bold.
And though we wish for hues,untold for pallets, rich.
Silver, gold.
We face the world with whatwe've got and hope to color
(21:31):
life's blank spot.
So here we stand, our crayonsworn with simple tools or
spirits worn.
Yet in these lines, rough andundefined.
A deeper beauty, we still find.
(21:53):
Just three crayons.
Dull and bear.
We sketch our stories.
Choose to dare though.
Colors bleed and lines.
Miss lay, the heart remains inlight and play.
Hmm.
(22:15):
Thank you for that.
Oh, you're welcome.
Wow.
Thank you for allowing me toshare that.
Beautiful, beautiful.
And if that resonates, I know itdid in my body.
I could feel it.
I could visualize all kinds ofthings.
And if people listening youwanna share in the comments,
we'd love to hear how thatreading came through for you.
(22:41):
Jacqueline, I had a woman tellme once she could smell the box
of crayons, right?
She had, when she was a child,she could literally smell the
Crayola box.
Yes.
I'm like, wow, lady, you've gota great imagination, right?
It's, and, and that's thebeautiful thing.
What you've put out there camefrom your heart center and it's
now reaching the world's heartcenter.
(23:03):
So thank you for bringing thatlight.
To the world through your bookMetamorphosis in Stanis.
So beautiful.
Thank you, Denise.
Thank you for allowing me toshare it with your audience.
Absolutely.
If every woman, woman that waslistening to our conversation
(23:26):
today and to your beautifulgifts and to everything that you
have put so divinely out intothe world, if we could walk away
with one unshakeable truth aboutourselves in midlife, what would
you want that truth to be?
(23:50):
What I want for every woman whois my age, we're a little bit
younger'cause I'm, I'm notreally a midlife anymore.
Right.
I'm sorry.
I'm in that beyond midlife part.
What I would want every woman tofeel inside is that this is the
best season thus far.
(24:11):
Mm.
That somehow we were told a packof lies.
Yeah.
That.
We were declining, that we werebecoming invisible, that we
weren't very useful.
Oh my goodness gracious.
Enjoy the fact that you're notthat useful anymore.
So what?
Be useful to yourself.
(24:31):
Do what you want.
Be the person.
Be the woman you wanna be.
You have it in you now, andeveryone's gonna, you have more
room now to do that.
Yeah.
That's what I would want everywoman to really not, not think
it, not frontal lobit Denise,not frontal lobe.
Right.
Thank you.
(24:52):
Not frontal lobit.
I want it to be the reptilianbrain.
The back, I mean the gut thatyou understand that you have
been given this gift of a, of alifespan that women in the early
19 hundreds didn't get.
Yeah.
And now we get it.
Mm-hmm.
We get this extra lifespan.
(25:13):
We can do anything we want.
Yeah.
And don't miss out on theopportunity that's sitting right
in front of you, which is to Doyou now, just like you say,
Jack, do you?
The world needs us.
Yeah.
(25:34):
Yeah.
Thank you for being with ustoday on Thrive after 45.
I would love our listeners totake a moment, breathe and
notice what touched your hearttoday.
(25:55):
That's your soul, whisperingyour next step.
If you feel called to go deeperinto your journey, I've opened
up the ME Academy portal.
It's a space where women embodyradiance and really thrive.
In the second half of life,you'll find the links everywhere
(26:20):
over my social media.
You can't miss it.
Always message me.
I've got you.
Until next week, keep listening.
Keep expanding and keep honoringall of those quiet whispers that
live within.
(26:40):
Thank you everyone.
Thank you, Jacqueline.
Thank you, Denise.
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