A love letter to the new mother

Becoming a mother changes everything. While society pressures us to "bounce back" and "return to normal," this episode is an invitation to consider an alternative: embracing your transformation rather than fighting against it.

 

Drawing on my own experiences as a mother of three, I share what I wish someone had told me when I was bringing home each of my babies. This episode is a heartfelt love letter to new mothers everywhere, acknowledging the beautiful and challenging metamorphosis that motherhood brings.

 

I share six truths that will transform your early motherhood journey, from the surprising power of a five-minute shower to the liberation of expressing difficult feelings. 

 

Most importantly, you'll hear the words every new mother needs but rarely receives: You're doing an amazing job. You are extraordinary. This version of you—tired, healing, and transformed—is something sacred.

 

Whether you're currently in the newborn trenches, expecting a baby, or know someone who is, this episode offers validation, practical wisdom, and a warm welcome into the sisterhood of motherhood. The transformation isn't something to rush through—it's something to honor, embrace, and recognize as the profound journey it truly is.

 

Subscribe and share this episode with the new or expecting mothers in your life. Together, we can create a community that supports women through this beautiful transformation rather than pressuring them to race past it.

Thank you so much for listening in! If anything in this episode resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you left a review or shared it with a friend or on social media.

And don't forget to tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me get the word out.

Follow and chat with me on Instagram:

Podcast account - @thrivelikeamother.podcast

Personal account - @thrive.empowered

Sending you light and love always!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, love, I'm Ebony and welcome to Thrive Like a
Mother On this podcast.
We're scared for our truth, butthat fear is what fuels us to
truly live in it.
You're in the right place ifyou feel like you're stuck in
survivor mode and you're readyto step into who you were truly

(00:20):
meant to be.
I'll share resources and toolsI use daily to help you in your
journey towards a healthiermindset and to break the wheel
of survival.
The journey may not be easy,but you won't have to face it
alone.
I'm a mama of three, healingday by day from past trauma, and
I'm on a mission to build alife I've always dreamed of but

(00:42):
never thought was possible.
So, love, if you're ready tobelieve in what's possible,
let's link arms and thrivetogether.
Hello, loves, and welcome toanother episode of the Thrive

(01:04):
Like a Mother podcast.
Y'all, today's episode.
Today's episode is for themothers.
It is a love letter to theversion of you talking to my
mamas now who just had a baby orwho was just about to have a
baby.
It's the version, to theversion of me who didn't know

(01:27):
how truly, truly deeply I wouldbe changed by motherhood, by
stepping into motherhood.
This one is for every mamasitting in the middle of
becoming someone new andsomething different.
And so let's chat about thetransformation of motherhood,
because that's what it is.
It is a transformation, y'all.

(01:48):
Every single time that I've hada baby, I've become someone new
.
And here I am just having babynumber three.
Baby boy is 15 months old nowand I used to fight with
transformations.
It took me until having Henryto really truly start embracing
the transformation and saying,like this is happening and it's

(02:11):
going to be okay, because onceyou become a mother, like,
you're not the same, and that isokay.
Sometimes you may feel a bit ofresistance.
Right, we talk a bit about youknow, once you have the baby, oh
gosh, I can't wait to get backto myself, I can't wait to
bounce back all of these thingsthat we're seeing.

(02:33):
I want to pose a differentquestion is how can we embrace
the transformation insteadwithout forcing it, without
forcing ourselves to bounce back, without forcing ourselves to
get back to ourselves?
Because that's not reallywhat's happening?
We are new when we becomeothers, and I think that that is

(02:55):
something challenging, yes, butalso so dang beautiful, and so
Y'all true growth.
I truly believe that it happenswhen we stop trying to get back
to who we were before.

(03:15):
We start saying this is who Iam now.
How can I support her?
How can I be her, how can I beright?
That is when the growth startedto happen for me, when I
stopped fighting it, when Istopped saying I need to bounce
back or I've got to.
You know, in a little whileI'll get back to being me.

(03:38):
You are you, you are you andyou are different, and that is
beautiful.
And so I'm going to share a fewthings with you, because, if
you need to sit down, please do,please do.
Mama.
I want to sit and chat with you, the mama who just brought
their baby home.
This is exactly what I wouldhave told myself and this is

(04:01):
what I'm telling you now.
Number one take the shower.
Take it.
Maybe you don't understand ityet, but you will.
Showers became such a small butmighty act of kindness, a
ritual that truly helped mestart to reclaim my body and

(04:26):
kind of emotionally reset mybody, and kind of emotionally
reset, especially after, like, areally long night when you've
been up with a baby for a whileor maybe you're just getting
back home and starting to settlein again.
Take the shower.
Take the shower, even if it isa five minute shower.
Take the shower daily if youare able, like, even if you

(04:50):
aren't able get the support thatyou need, to say, hey, I need
five minutes from me.
I cannot tell you how somethingyou think is so simple I used
to take it for granted and whenI tell you those five minutes
used to just reinvigorate me andgive me a moment to come back
to self and reground myself andjust, you know, it's that deep

(05:14):
breath that maybe you don'tthink you need, but it's
important.
It's important.
Number two say whatever you'refeeling.
Say whatever you're feeling.
I know sometimes as moms, wecan tend to sit in our feelings
and think, oh you know, no onewould really understand what I'm

(05:37):
going through or no one wouldbe able to help me with this.
You never know.
And even if you don'tnecessarily need help with what
you're feeling, just saying itout loud and vocalizing, either
if it was to your friend, yourpartner or y'all, simply pulling
out your phone and doing avoice note to yourself, you have

(06:00):
no idea how big of an impactthat can be.
Earlier in last season's lastseason of the podcast, I shared
with y'all some of my ownpersonal voice notes that I took
in the very early days ofhaving Henry, because that's
what helped me was to talkthrough the feelings that I was
having, not to keep them allbottled up and in my head.

(06:23):
You know, I needed to get outof my head.
I needed needed to say you knowwhat I was feeling and know
that I wasn't alone, and toshare with y'all also that you
weren't alone in what you'refeeling throughout this time,
because, though you think maybesomeone may not understand, they
can at least empathize with youand hold space for you in that

(06:48):
moment, whatever you're feeling.
Number three y'all.
This is a big one, because whenyou have a little one, I don't
think people really understandhow often us, as mothers, we are
up at midnight, at 1 am, at 2am, 3 am, we are up at all the

(07:11):
very early late night and earlyams of the morning, and during
that time you may experience,you know, brain fog, you might
have some frustration, you mighthave some conflicts with your
partner, they might happenbecause you both are running on
not very much sleep, you know,and, yes, it's a transformation

(07:33):
for you, but it's also atransformation for your partner,
for the people that aresupporting you as well, and so
there may be some clashes.
Right, offer yourself grace.
You, mama, you're not the onlyone who has ever lost your
patience at 3 am, wanting to sayyou know, I just want some
sleep.
I'm still there.
Honestly, y'all.
Sometimes Henry wakes up stillat 3 am, right now currently.

(07:57):
Who knows why?
Who knows why.
Babies are babies.
They get up when they want to,right, but offer yourself some
grace.
You are allowed to feel thefrustration, to feel the fog.
Right, you are human and it'sokay, it's okay.
But don't allow those to carryinto your next day.

(08:19):
That's why I say taking theshower, if you can get it in the
morning to you know, wash offthe late night conflicts and the
frustration, golden Golden,because it gives you a moment to
say that's in the past, wherewe have our self grace and we're
starting the day anew.
This is for everybody.
Get outside, get outside and geta walk.
You never know how much for youand your baby, how much a

(08:43):
change of scenery and just a wayto like break up just that
mental loop and the many tabsthat are opening your head, just
to get like five, ten minutesin a new space, out in a nature,
breathing in fresh air,breathing in new energy.

(09:04):
That's where I equate my walksto and getting outside.
And even if you can get out ona walk, try to get outside.
If you have a patio, stepoutside your door for a minute,
just take a second to putyourself in a new space to, like
I said, bring in that newenergy, because motherhood is

(09:25):
going to be, it's going to bechallenging, and even in the not
challenging moment, sometimesyou just need to get outside to
appreciate the day, to begrateful for the day, to show a
moment of gratitude for beingable to just be in this space,

(09:46):
to bring in the new energy.
Sometimes you just need that.
Number five is this is a season.
This is a season.
Sometimes, especially in thevery early newborn stages, when
things are tough, they can feellike they will never end, that
things will never get better andthat you might feel whatever

(10:09):
you're feeling forever and guesswhat?
You're not.
You won't feel that way forever.
That baby eventually.
Eventually, that baby willsleep.
Eventually things will start toget easier.
Eventually you'll find yourflow and your rhythm.
It's not forever, it's a season,and that's a good thing,

(10:30):
because that means, yes, youknow, the challenges won't be
forever, but also it gives you amoment to really hold on to the
beautiful parts of that seasonas well, like, think about, wow,
I am experiencing your child,your newborn baby, at their

(10:50):
smallest, their very firstmoments here on this earth.
Like we think of the seasons ofchallenge, but I also want you
to think of the seasons ofgratitude, right, those ones
where you're like, wow, you area mother, you are a mother and I
welcome you to motherhood.

(11:13):
This is a season, you know.
Don't hold on to the challengestoo harshly, give yourself that
grace.
But also, mama, hold on, holdon to the beautiful moments of
that season, because they do goby so dang fast, right, gosh,

(11:37):
and number six, y'all.
This is something I want everymama to understand.
And here I'm speaking directlyto you and I want you to start
saying this to yourself as wellYou're doing an amazing job.
You're doing an amazing jobEven if no one else sees it,
even if that baby will not sleep, even if the dishes are piling

(11:59):
up.
You are doing an amazing job.
You are extraordinary and Iwant you to understand that.
And, gosh, I'm going to endwith this because we started
this way and I really want tohone in on this.
You have nothing to rush backto you, don't?
This version of you, the onethat's tired, the one that is

(12:25):
stretched thin, the one that ishealing and in recovery?
You are becoming something sosacred.
You are something so sacred.
Hold on to that.
Hold on to that and embracethis transformation and this
entrance into motherhood.

(12:47):
This other day, I was watchingReels and I came across this one
about how, in cultures like weused to have the traditions of
welcoming mothers intomotherhood and somehow,
somewhere along the way, asthings do, we have lost, started
to lose, those types oftraditions, and so I really want

(13:12):
to end this episode againwelcoming you to motherhood and
letting you know that you don'thave to do this alone and that
you have exactly what it takesto be an amazing mother.
You are an amazing mother.
You have what it takes tothrive, even in this season,

(13:32):
when things feel pretty dangimpossible.
You are here to thrive, and soI welcome you to motherhood, I
embrace you and I hope that youembrace this transformation with
all of the grace and the glorythat you are because you,

(13:53):
because you are, you absolutelyare, are because you, because
you are, you absolutely are.
And y'all listeners.
If you know a mom who has justhad a baby or a mom who's about
to have a baby, please sharethis with her.
Please share this with her sothat she can listen to it and
understand that we are here tohold space for her and to help

(14:16):
her transition into thistransformation, just with grace.
And if you're a mama who'scurrently sitting in her own
transformation, I'm sending youso much love and I cannot wait
to talk to you on the nextepisode.
Wait to talk to you on the nextepisode.

(14:43):
Thank you so much for listeninglove.
If anything in today's episoderesonated with you, share it
with your bestie or share it onsocial media and tag me so we
can chat about it.
As always, sending you lightand love, and remember you are
worthy, you are enough and youdeserve to thrive.