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November 25, 2024 • 19 mins

Inspired during my first month of maternity leave, I invite you into my world as I reflect on the significance of creating a life that supports me being more present in my family and children's lives. I share my plans of creating purpose driven stream of income by honing in on the power of my intuition, and using journaling as a way to process my emotions for clarity and growth.

In this episode, my hope is to encourage other millennial mamas to reflect on their own paths, daring to align their lives with their biggest dreams and do things differently.


Thank you so much for listening in! If anything in this episode resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you left a review or shared it with a friend or on social media.

And don't forget to tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me get the word out.

Follow and chat with me on Instagram:

Podcast account - @thrivelikeamother.podcast

Personal account - @thrive.empowered

Sending you light and love always!

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ebony Fleming (00:00):
Hello, loves, and welcome to part two of this
Thrive Like a Mother mini-series, A Mama's Quiet Moments.
And this one I'm really excitedabout because I am specifically
talking to my millennial mamas,who are also deciding to do

(00:21):
things differently in theirlives.
ADeciding to do thingsdifferently in their lives, and
not just in their lives but inparenthood and motherhood, just
trying to approach conversationsand the way that we are raising
our kids in a different way andalso asking differently for

(00:45):
ourselves, just daring to dreambigger than we ever have.
And so this conversation isjust really close to my heart
because I feel like here, withmy third little one, I am really
really feeling that pull, thatpush to dream bigger and want to

(01:07):
do things in such a majorlydifferent way than I was taught,
than what I saw, and so that'swhat today's quiet moments.
We're doing it a little bitdifferently, today here I'm
going to talk to you first andthen I'm going to share the
voice clip.
This one I think I was just afew, actually it was about

(01:30):
almost a month after Henry wasborn.
He wasn't a month old yet, buthe was pretty, pretty, dang
close, and so, as I wasreflecting in this voice memo, I
talk about me just chattingwith another mama and just
having this realization ofwanting to do things differently
as far as the way I wanted towork and the way I wanted to be

(01:53):
able to show up for my family.
And so this big, this bigthought it's not something that
I had an example of.
Right I was sitting here onmaternity leave a month and
realizing that maternity leavewas only for such a limited

(02:14):
amount of time.
Of course I've been throughmaternity leave before, but I
don't think it hit me as hard asit did with Henry.
I started to think about thingsand process that I really
wanted to not only hold on toHenry as long as I could, but

(02:35):
also be able to show up for mygirls.
You know, as much as I could,without having kind of that
necessity in the background, toshow up for a corporate job
where things are a little bitmore stricter, needing to be on
meetings, not really having asmuch control of your schedule.

(02:57):
I will say I'm very grateful Iam in a position where I have a
little bit more flexibility thanI've had in the past, but
there's still that notion I'mworking for someone else's
company, someone else's goals,and with that comes time
constraints.
And so I decided really duringthis time as I was talking to

(03:23):
her y'all will hear this in thevoice memo I decided right at
that point that I was going todo things differently.
I felt like, just because theexamples I had seen felt
comfortable, I knew what thoselooked like, I had modeled those
honestly in the past.
It didn't mean for me that I hadto stay in that lane forever.

(03:43):
We're always in a place, y'all,where we can decide to change,
decide to try different thingsout, especially in parenthood.
There is no manual or rule bookthat says here's how you raise
your kids.
There's nothing like that outthere.

(04:03):
And so, especially in thisworld where we are, our kids are
growing up much differentlythan we did back, you know, 30,
20 something years ago.
We have to look at thingsdifferently because they have I
mean I mean we all have accessnow to things at a much earlier

(04:31):
age than maybe we did.
I grew up not really havingaccess to internet, I think,
until I got to college, orreally the beginning stages
maybe around like middle schoolor high school, is when I
started to have some semblanceof access to internet and even
still I wasn't really using itto like its fullest.
I was, you on MySpace tryingto have connections with my

(04:55):
friends and things, and now,like these kids at the tap of a
finger, have access to so muchstuff.
And so we have to think aboutdoing things differently.
There are differentconversations that need to be
had, different connections thatwe need to have, now with our
kids more than ever.
And thinking like through that,it helped me realize that like,

(05:20):
yeah, this feeling isuncomfortable, not knowing, like
that fear of the unknown, notknowing exactly how I'm going to
show up for my kids or havethese conversations, fearing
sometimes that I "could dothings differently.
Because sometimes it's notreally about if you can or not.

(05:43):
You always can, right, youalways have the choice.
It's really the fear of am Igoing to be successful?
And for me, I decided that youknow what?
I don't have to be a perfectmom all the time, but I do want
to be their mom, I want to bethe one that they come to when
they have questions.

(06:04):
And if I don't know, I want tobe brave enough to say baby, I
don't know, let's figure it outtogether, because that truly is
how life is we don't all knoweverything.
So I really felt this pull.
Instead of holding on to that,am I going to be successful at

(06:27):
being able to show up for mykids in the way that I want?
You know, having that impostersyndrome when really all they
want is for me to be their mamaand be the best that I can be.
Once I kind of got past andprocessed those emotions and I
will say they still come upevery once in a while,

(06:47):
especially as we hit certainparts of, like their childhood
that maybe you know I hadn'tprocessed from my own childhood.
You know the way things used tobe.
There's some navigation thatneeds to happen, right, and so I
realized that, not only in mewanting to do things differently

(07:10):
, not only was that something Iwanted to take on, but I wanted
to take it on because I want itbigger, more for my, for my
babies.
And I think, as you hear thisvoice memo, you'll understand

(07:31):
that you really have to likewhen you're deciding.
.
.
When you're when you'redreaming, right, when you're
dreaming and deciding to takesteps towards that dream, no
matter the fear that you have,the uncomfortable feelings.
Really, guys, try to focus onthe reason why you want to do

(07:51):
those things differently.
There's nothing wrong withwanting to do things in a
different way.
There's nothing wrong withwanting to do things in a
different way.
There's nothing wrong withdreaming bigger than you ever
have before.

(08:11):
Like write, write those dreamsdown, say them out loud to
yourself, to someone that youtrust, and focus again on the
reason like why?
Why am I wanting to do this?
And for me, it comes down to mybabies.
I want more for them.
I want to be able to show upmore for them.
I want them to know that theyalways have access to me.
And for me and my situation,that is not staying in corporate

(08:36):
life for the rest of my life.
I want to be there now, likewhen they are doing their
kindergarten plays and all thesethings that are coming up in
their lives.
I want to be there and I wantto make sure I'm making the
choices in my life, making thesedecisions that support me in

(09:00):
doing that.
And so do it y'all.
Dare to dream bigger, dare todo things differently and know
that things may get a little bituncomfortable.
Things may come up for youyourself that may trigger you
and make you think about yourown childhood and the way that

(09:23):
it was, and that's okay, that'sokay.
Another thing I bring up in thismemo is journaling.
Right, and I really took adifferent take on it.
It doesn't always have to bepen and paper y'all.
As you see from this, I hadrelied very heavily on voice
memos and even tapping into thetechnology that we have.

(09:47):
We have so many journal appsthat are available, even just a
simple notes app on your phoneor your computer using the
notepad just to get thosethoughts out.
Because if you let those dreamsand those thoughts just sit up
there and bounce around in yourhead, sometimes they might just
bounce so much that you get soscared to even take an inkling

(10:13):
of a step of action on it, of astep of action on it.
So I'm going to hop into it now.
Here it is y'all, and I hopeyou enjoy.
Okay, so at some point this isgoing to become an episode.
I have a lot of these.
I think I'm going to call themmy heart note episodes on here

(10:39):
that are starting to build up.
I've been journaling a lot, alot, and when I say journaling,
I mean using the journal app onmy phone, because sitting down
right now with a pen to paper isa little bit harder, but I'm
able to still like sit and getmy thoughts out with my phone in

(11:00):
my hand.
I can, you know, I can type, Ican text, I can journal that way
.
But anyway, that's not what Icame on this app for.
I was messaging one of my veryclose friends back just a second
ago, back just a second ago,and I'm telling her, like all

(11:24):
the updates and things um, we dovoice memos back and forth.
So I'm, I'm speaking out loud,telling her the updates and
things, and at some point itveers off into me realizing that
Henry will be a month oldtomorrow and it's already been.
It's already been a whole monththat he's been on this earth,

(11:44):
which also signified for me ohmy gosh.
That also means I only haveabout a month and a half of
maternity leave left and then Iwill need to go back to work.
And I had this visceralreaction, this visceral reaction

(12:06):
, just emotion, come throughthat I haven't felt before.
So let me give you thebreakdown right.

(12:28):
I watched my mama, you know,raise me and I would watch her
work and work a lot.
She was working, she was doingher master's, she was doing all
the things right and I've donethat.
I've done that with Olivia.
I worked and went to school.
Same thing with Jade, I workedand did my master's.

(12:52):
I've done the things.
And you know, you can alwaysmodel like what you see your
parents do, right.
It's kind of like not that youhave to, but you know sometimes
it will happen because it's whatyou've seen, it's what you know
.
And so I've done those things.

(13:14):
I've worked and had my girlsand felt powerful and like a
badass and always knew that myfirst priority was still always
them, even before the work andthe school.
It was still always them at thetop.
But I am, with Henry here,seeing different, and I think

(13:38):
that's because of the space thatI'm in now, where I'm starting
to build this sacred community,where I'm starting to create
things that will create passivestreams of income into our
family, so that I will still beable to support the way I've
been supporting monetarily,because of course, that still is
important.

(13:59):
We've still got bills to payright.
And so, thinking about how mymaternity leave is running out,
I'm thinking about the days thatwe've already had in this month
and how much I've loved theease of it and the flow of it
and the pace, and how it doesn'tfeel forced and how I'm still

(14:23):
able to work on the things thatI love and not feel like anxiety
or pressure.
And it made me realize and Iwas literally speaking this into
the voicemail to her I said Idon't want to go back Now.

(14:47):
Granted, I already had knownthis before.
Right, I created my exit planfor corporate quite a while back
, when I was still pregnant withhim.
I knew that that was the paththat I would eventually take.
Family.
Not going back immediately maynot be what needs to happen, but

(15:14):
I can, without a doubt, now saythat I feel the gut pull, I
feel like the intuition thatthis is like my path, that my
path eventually will lead to notworking corporate again,
because it, you know, it willallow me to live with this ease

(15:38):
that I've had.
This one month that has gone byso fast with him, this one
month that has shown me, youknow, what I want for the rest
of basically our lives, like Iwant to be here for my kids.
I want to be able to pop outand um, go to Olivia's school

(16:05):
plays or whatever is whatever iscoming up, or pop in um to Jade
when she's doing her pre-kstuff coming up, which I realize
is now only in just a yearshe'll be in pre-k.
So it, if anything, this monthhas shown me with Henry, it's
shown me the life that I wantevery day, until they are old

(16:29):
enough to not need me as muchanymore, but I can still pop up
on them if I want to.
I want that life, I want thatease, and it made me.
It made me emotional, but alsograteful for realizing it, and
grateful for realizing that it'spossible and that it's not

(16:50):
something that's without, that'snot within reach, right?
Because it is possible for meto make that dream happen, to
make that dream a reality.
Deep breath.
.
.
Henry just totally took thatdeep breath with us.

(17:17):
Yeah, that's all I've got foryou, guys.
I am always sending you so muchlight and love and, if anything
, I hope this episode it mightas well be a podcast episode at
this point, guys.
If anything, I hope that thisepisode just reminds you to feel

(17:40):
what you need to feel, even ifit's a little scary, and really
work through and process thosefeelings like why am I feeling
this way?
Because it may help you come tosome realizations that you
maybe didn't even know you had,which, granted, I knew, I knew a

(18:01):
hundred percent that I wasn'tgoing to stay in corporate
forever.
You know, I've I've known thatfor a few years now, although
you know I haven't known it allmy life, but I've known it for a
while.
And this month of maternityleave, just of reflecting and

(18:39):
everything has solidified thatfor me.
So feel what you need to feelbecause it will create and.
.
.
it will help you solidify thedreams and the path that you are
on, and that you're on theright path, or it will help you
realize a shift that you mayneed to make in your path.
Yeah, those are my tips for you.
And journal, y'all, reflect,even if you can't get down a pen
and paper.
Use your notes app, use thejournal app that's now on the

(19:01):
iphone, um, and I'm sure thereare tons of other ways that you
can journal, even this.
Use your voice memos, you know.
Talk it out.
Anyway, y'all, send y'all lightand love and see you next time.
Thank you so much for listening.
Loves, if anything in today'sepisode resonated with you,

(19:25):
share it with your bestie or onsocial media and don't forget to
tag me so we can chat about itor on social media, and don't
forget to tag me so we can chatabout it.
As always, I'm sending youlight and love, and remember you
are worthy, you are enough andyou deserve to thrive.
Talk to you soon.
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