[A Mama's Quiet Moments] How processing the birth of my last baby led me to a life changing perspective shift

Have you ever found comfort in the thoughts that come to you in the quiet moments of motherhood?

In part one of this series of A Mama's Quiet Moments, I share how recording my raw & candid thoughts in the early days of my 3rd postpartum journey served as an emotional anchor. And quickly led me to a shift in perspective of how I could fully experience the beauty and unexpected twists and turns of life.

I extend a heartfelt invitation to reflect on the impermanence of motherhood's precious experiences. I challenge myself and you to be fully present and to try and find gratitude and intention in every moment of our lives.

Thank you so much for listening in! If anything in this episode resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you left a review or shared it with a friend or on social media.

And don't forget to tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me get the word out.

Follow and chat with me on Instagram:

Podcast account - @thrivelikeamother.podcast

Personal account - @thrive.empowered

Sending you light and love always!

Episode Transcript

Ebony Fleming (00:01):
Oh, deep breath.
Welcome, loves, to part one ofa very special series for the
Thrive Like a Mother podcast, aMama's Quiet Moments.
This series was born out of aneed that I had after having my
third baby, Henry.
Really, before having him.

(00:22):
I f you've been here for awhile, I'd been doing a lot of
inner work on myself and reallyfinding different ways that
resonated with me to eitherexpress myself or just have an
outlet for those hundreds oftabs that are often open in a

(00:43):
mama's brain.
One of those ways wasjournaling.
But obviously, after having himvia c-section at the very end
of February, I found myself in amoment where I was just having
a little bit more difficulty nowhaving either both or one of my

(01:04):
hands just occupied either justtaking care of him and
snuggling just this tiny newlittle person.
But I also found with my myhead just filled with so many
thoughts that wanted to get out,so many things.
And, with this being my thirdand my final pregnancy and my

(01:28):
final baby, a lot of thosemoments I felt I was like I have
to.
.
.
obviously, if I can't, I can'tjournal these out, I need to
find a different way that worksfor me to get these thoughts out
to hold on to them.
These thoughts to hold on todearly, either just for myself

(01:51):
or when any of my little soulsdecide that they want to have
children of their own.
And so that's where I starteddoing voice memos.
I found myself, while he waseither sleeping or when I had a
moment to myself, just hittingrecord on a voice memo and just

(02:13):
recording as I would write, butusing, you know, my spoken voice
.
And gosh, this first one that Idid, I tell y'all it was
literally days after I had him,and this first one, it just
spilled out of me and even as Iwas recording it, I knew that I

(02:36):
wanted this somehow.
.
.
maybe not all of them, becausesome of them are a little bit
more personal and close to myheart, but I knew that some of
them would in some way inspireother mamas or give them that
reminder that I always try toshare with you here on this
podcast, on this platform, thatyou are not alone.

(03:00):
And that's where this serieswas born a mama's quiet moments.
And this is part one of a shortseries.
Um, this very first one that Ijust spoke about, like I said, I
recorded it days after havinghim.
Um, I believe I was still inthe hospital, um, and at some

(03:21):
point I'll share my birth storyand maybe the days after having
him or that week after havinghim.
Some of the things that weencountered that I, yeah, I kind

(03:43):
knew what what to expect, butthere were some things that I
could not expect or prepare forthat we went through very early
in my postpartum journey.
And so here's part one.
Like I said, I hope that this,this entire series, but I hope
this episode, um just speaks toa mama in a way that you know,

(04:10):
they know that they're not theonly one thinking these things
in the quiet moments, thenyou're not the only one with
these things in your head.
You know wanting to burst out.
And so here it is.

(04:30):
These are, like I said, very,very close to my heart.
I would love it if any of the,any parts of this series or any
episodes obviously resonate withyou, or if you just want to
talk more about a topic.
Like I said, this is aboutletting you know that you're not
alone, and so I am here.
I mean that with the utmostsincerity.
Hop in my DMs, send me amessage, anything at all if you

(04:56):
are needing support or just alistening ear.
But welcome to the series and Ihope you enjoy.

(05:38):
An episode about going into yourfinal pregnancy and the birth
of your final baby, someone whogrew from a tiny bunch of atoms,
into a tiny little personinside of you for months, and so
the episode should be aboutreally looking at life in that

(05:58):
way, kind of embracing things,as if it would be the last time
really fully allowing yourselfto feel and experience things,
whether they be feelings of fear, feelings of joy or memories

(06:27):
that you want to hold dear.
Just how can we look at theexperience of having your last
baby as an example of how youshould kind of follow or give

(06:52):
yourself guidelines on how youshould experience life itself?
When I said that these episodes,these snippets, these voice
memos would be very near anddear to my heart.
I meant that.
I recorded that on March 1st, Iwas still in the hospital with

(07:13):
baby boy.
Both of us were recoveringgoing through some very
unexpected twists and turns inthe very first steps of becoming
a mama of three.
And I sat there really in aweand in wonder as I realized that
my baby boy, baby number three,was now earth side, and I

(07:38):
realized how fast things couldchange.
How fast you could experiencethings in life and not even
realize sometimes that it'shappening.
And so I want to share somethoughts to really focus in and
leave you with somethingtangible that you can take away

(08:00):
from today's episode.
First of all, I am eight monthsin now to that first year.
Still can't even believe it now.
As I'm saying, eight months inwith Mr Henry and still every

(08:22):
single day, just really savoringevery single second with him.
If you follow me on social media, then you know I made the
decision when I went back intocorporate, my corporate job, to
keep him at home with me becauseI could not bear losing not a
second of time with him, and I'mso, so grateful that I am in

(08:43):
the position I am today, to bein a workplace, in a work
setting that I have thatflexibility.
Is it easy?
Heck, no, y'all.
You know, there are days that Iwonder is this really what I
want to be doing?
And then I remember why.
I remember that I want toexperience every single part of

(09:05):
this first year with him becauseit will be my last first year.
And so when I recorded thisvoice memo, I wanted to convey
to you guys, of course, what I'mfeeling.
Maybe you're a mama, too, andthis is your last pregnancy,
whether chosen or not, lastpregnancy, or last little one

(09:26):
that you've just recentlydelivered into the world, and
you're feeling a lot of thingsright.
Me too.
I found myself asking my mombecause I was the baby of the
family, I was her last littleone.
I found myself asking her, likemom, how did you process and
navigate these emotions?
How did you get through this?

(09:47):
Because this is hard, likethere are moments where I am so
joyful in the moments I get toshare with him, and there are
other things that I'm like wow,you are growing up and I feel
like I can barely hang on toevery single second.
And so I want to convey to youguys how, a challenge really,

(10:11):
how can we in our lives now,today, how can we embrace and
experience everything in ourlife as if it would be the last
time that we'd be experiencingit?
Whether that be a struggle, afear anything.
I swear when you start to lookat life in that perspective.
.
.
this shift happened for mewhere I started to experience, I

(10:38):
think, life to the fullest.
Now, in my 30s I'm 32, turning33 next year I am looking at
life and looking at myrelationships and looking at my
decisions and my choices and thepriorities that I'm making in
my life.
I'm looking at those in adifferent lens.

(10:59):
Okay, I'm going to go with anexample here first, that's
motherhood related, because herewe are, we're on Thrive Like a
Mother, right?
So, I want to talk about yourbaby's feeding journey and that
this goes along with.
.
.
I know, with breastfeeding,it's like, whether you're chest

(11:19):
feeding or pumping and givingyour baby a milk through a
bottle or your formula feeding,right, whatever choice you
decided to make to feed yourbaby, all of it is still very
emotional as you're goingthrough this first year.
Because you realize, at acertain point, the y start to
learn how to, they start tolearn, need to learn how to eat

(11:43):
solids.
And slowly, this main source ofnutrition, this connection
point that you've had with themwhether you're breastfeeding
them or feeding them a bottle,this connection piece that you
have, where they're looking intoyour eyes, you're nourishing

(12:03):
your baby.
There's something so specialabout sitting in that and
realizing that you never knowreally when the last time is
going to be, the last time.
We can predict sometimes.
We can infer that if they startto drop feedings or they start
to pick up eating more solids,we can sometimes know.

(12:26):
And sometimes, sometimes,sometimes.
.
.
for my mamas, i f you've everexperienced this, I'm giving you
the biggest hug ever.
There's some times where theydecide out of nowhere because,
remember, our babies are littlepeople of their own they decide
that they no longer want tobreastfeed or drink from a

(12:46):
bottle or anything, and they are, you know, not going on strike,
but they've decided that thatis the end of their journey
where you are needing to feedthem.
And it can be a shock sometimes, as a mama, if you weren't
expecting it, and I don't thinkany of us ever are expecting the

(13:06):
last time.
Like I said, you can infer, youcan gauge when that might be,
but even still..
.
Can you be prepared?
No, but can you go into everysingle feeding and experience it
and just embody it as a whole?
Just embody that experience asa whole, can you do that every
single time that you're feedingyour baby?
So that no matter when the lasttime is the last time, you know
.
.
.
yes there's going to be, sorrowin it, but you know that you

(13:27):
fully, fully experienced thatmoment with them and nothing can

(13:51):
take that away.
That moment that is set in time, that is that moment that
you've had with them over andover again, over however long
you breastfeed or bottle feedyour little one.
And so how can we, how can wedo that in life?
Right, because there are thingsin life that we're going to

(14:14):
have to go through.
Maybe we think are monotonousor we view it as not something,
something we take for granted.
Right?

(14:37):
I was trying to think of anexample here in life and I am
really thinking about, hmm, theway I approach taking a walk.
A nd this is going to soundcrazy and wild, but when you are
taking a walk, you never knowthe earth, guys, let's be real
here you never know when thelast time will be the last time

(14:59):
for anything.
So, if we take that mindset andwe're taking a walk maybe we're
doing this daily, maybe not,but if we are taking a moment to
fully lock in and be present inthat moment and fully

(15:19):
experience that walk and you seewhere I'm going here that walk,
that journey, even experiencingthat walk and maybe we don't
know, or that journey and wedon't know that it's the last
time we can sit in, knowing andbeing confident that we took
time to smell the flower thatmaybe we haven't smelled before,

(15:45):
or just take a deep breath ofthe fresh air, or take a moment
to listen to the birds and thesound of the trees and the
leaves rustling in the wind.
Why can't we do that witheverything that we experience in
life?
Even now, as I'm sitting hererecording, I am sitting fully, I

(16:10):
feel like I am just.
.
.
I am here, I am present withyou guys, I am focused and I
want you to, I want to challengeyou to try to start looking at
everything in your life as that,even as something as simple as
brushing your teeth, can you sitin that moment and really just

(16:33):
fully experience that you aretaking care of yourself, taking
care of your body, you aregiving yourself self-care, right
?
Can we look at everything inlife, the small things that we
do that we think are small"?

(16:53):
Right?
Can we look at those things andthink of them as the last time
that we might experience them?
Because honesty, y'all, wenever, we never know.
And as I was sitting here inthis hospital, in this hospital,
this word came to me and I saidI've got to share this with my

(17:13):
listeners, with my mamas,because I'm sure that some of us
are all thinking the samethings.
We never know when the lasttime will be the last time.
So let's take a chance that wehave in life to experience it
really, really to the fullest.
And I want to leave you withthat deep breath.

(17:35):
It's going to be okay, mama, itis, and y'all I know that there
are a lot of feelings with thelast baby in the last pregnancy,
and that's why I'm sharing this, because I didn't know I would
be sitting here feeling thesethings, um, with him being my

(17:58):
last, and yet I am.
And yet I know that there are somany other mamas who are
feeling the same.
And even if it's not with yourlast pregnancy, maybe are you
just feeling, you know howquickly time can go by with um,
any little one, any little one.
You never know when the lasttime of this journey of

(18:20):
motherhood is going to be thelast time as they're growing up
so, so fast.
Thank you so much for listening.
Loves, if anything in today'sepisode resonated with you,
share it with your bestie or onsocial media, and don't forget
to tag me so we can chat aboutit.
As always, I'm sending youlight and love and remember you

(18:44):
are worthy, you are enough andyou deserve to thrive.
Talk to you soon.