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May 7, 2025 49 mins

Relationship intelligence isn't just a skill—it's the foundation of a thriving life as a mother, partner, and woman. In this raw conversation, relationship coach Jasmine Cruz shares her remarkable journey. From being kicked out at 17 for being part of the LGBTQ+ community to becoming the founder of LoveTank, where she helps women transform their relationships from survival to strength.

 

"Your voice is your power," Jasmine reminds us, challenging the notion that motherhood means losing yourself. Instead, she reframes this transition as a transformation: "We're not losing our voice. We're trying to figure out a new way to speak." This perspective shift alone can revolutionize how mothers navigate their changing identities and relationships after children.

 

Drawing from both personal experience and professional expertise, Jasmine unpacks why communication breakdowns happen and offers practical strategies for having those difficult conversations that most of us avoid. She dismantles the myth that strong relationships don't include conflict: "You will have arguments. You will have disagreements...but how you navigate that in a form of conversation is key." Her Power of Conversations Bootcamp teaches exactly this—how to turn ordinary relationships into extraordinary ones through better communication.

 

Whether you're struggling with a particular relationship or simply want to strengthen your connections across the board, Jasmine's practical wisdom offers a roadmap to not just survive but truly thrive. Follow @LiveLoveTank on all platforms to continue learning how to make relationships your biggest flex.


Thank you so much for listening in! If anything in this episode resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you left a review or shared it with a friend or on social media.

And don't forget to tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me get the word out.

Follow and chat with me on Instagram:

Podcast account - @thrivelikeamother.podcast

Personal account - @thrive.empowered

Sending you light and love always!

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, love, I'm Ebony and welcome to Thrive Like a
Mother On this podcast.
We're scared for our truth, butthat fear is what fuels us to
truly live in it.
You're in the right place ifyou feel like you're stuck in
survival mode and you're readyto step into who you were truly

(00:20):
meant to be.
I'll share resources and toolsI use daily to help you in your
journey towards a healthiermindset and to break the wheel
of survival.
The journey may not be easy,but you won't have to face it
alone.
I'm a mama of three, healingday by day from past trauma, and
I'm on a mission to build alife I've always dreamed of but

(00:42):
never thought was possible.
So, love, if you're ready tobelieve in what's possible,
let's link arms and thrivetogether.
Hey, loves, I'm so excited fory'all to listen in to this next
guest interview, the woman I'mabout to have on here.
I hope y'all are ready andlocked in because she's about to

(01:05):
drop some gems for you.
Her name is Jasmine Cruz.
She's a relationship coach.
She's also the founder of LoveTank, and her mission is to help
people make relationships theirbiggest flex.
And as the founder of Love Tank, she helps women learn how to,
you know, basically developtheir own relationship

(01:29):
intelligence, communicate withconfidence and creating content
in a course called the Power ofConversations Bootcamp.

(01:52):
You're going to hear about itin this episode and how to
access it, but it really doesget down to the core of becoming
a better communicator and beingconfident in it.
She offers a range of differentcoaching experiences that
really are designed to help makerelationships and the growth of
them more accessible, relatableand empowering for anyone she

(02:16):
comes in contact with.
She took from her very ownpersonal experiences to
establish the foundation forrelationship resilience and she
shares those gems with y'all.
As a coach and on this episode,honestly y'all.
Her journey was not easy.
She was kicked out at 17 forbeing part of the LGBT community

(02:38):
and Jasmine literally she builther life from the ground up, so
she really understandsfirsthand the power of
connection, self-worth andreally healing through
conversation.
And now y'all, with all thatshe's been through, she's really
dedicated in giving others thetools that she wished that she

(02:59):
had and really helping themlearn to turn their love into
their greatest strength and nottheir biggest struggle.
And so I hope y'all are ready,tuned in, get cozy on the couch,
get your favorite warm drinkready and tap in to hear Jasmine
.
She's got, like I said, a lotof gems to drop for y'all.

(03:21):
And you are going to want tolisten in and laugh?
Hey y'all.
And you are going to want tolisten in and lock in, hey y'all
.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Thrive Like a Mother podcast
, and I'm super excited becausetoday, not only do we have our
first in-person podcast, but theperson that's on here with me
today, jasmine y'all, when Itell you she has been in my life

(03:43):
since Ebony, was like littlebitty adult, young adult, baby
and, honestly, when I first mether, I was just at the start of
my corporate career and shementored me and mentored so many
other people and then locked in, stayed in my life, yes, and
would not change a thing.
So today, as we have her on thepodcast, we're going to talk

(04:06):
about something that reallyevery mother needs in their
toolkit, and that's relationshipintelligence Period.
Really, how mastering it notonly transforms your
partnerships, but really how youdecide to show up in every room
as a mother, as a wife, as apartner, whatever role you have,
it shifts everything.

(04:28):
And so, get cozy, this is goingto be a conversation that both
your heart and mind need, and so, jasmine, I really want you to
take us back really to thebeginning.
People need to hear what ledyou into this work of helping
people grow in theirrelationships and have strong
foundations in them.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
Well, first of all, we're going to go way back back
in the time.
So I've always been the type ofperson that wanted to help
somebody.
I grew up in an environmentwhere help was extended to me
and it just came naturally.
It wasn't anything that I justplanned, it was just like oh,
I've been through certain thingsin my life.

(05:10):
I've always had a resilientpersonality, so it was just kind
of easy for me to just slideinto helping other people.
Now, mind you, I didn't knowthat I was necessarily helping
other people.
So like, for instance, when Imet you, we were in a corporate
environment, yeah, and it wasjust something I enjoyed to do.

(05:33):
Like I seen people that neededsomething and I didn't
necessarily know what you neededper se.
It was just let me talk throughcertain things with this person
or whoever the case.
You know whoever it was in thatspecific time.
But I wasn't like looking forto help anybody.

(05:55):
In my young adult life, in highschool and grade school, I
always been that person, but itwasn't like I just was looking
to do it for a living.
It kind of just was somethingthat happened for me.
And now we have, you know, meteaching other women how to

(06:16):
become relationally intelligent.
It's just something like youknow, when they say it's either
a will or a skill, this is moreso probably a life skill that I
have.
Skill this is more so probablya life skill that I have, and I
just amplify that and enjoytalking to other people,
specifically women, about waysthat they can change their life
dynamics.

Speaker 1 (06:34):
Yes.
I love that and I like how youtalk about, how you know it's
not something that you wereseeking, it's something that
really got placed in you, is it?
Yeah, oh yeah, this is a partof you and it just it came out
naturally, so I love that.
Let's talk about you, talkabout your young, your young
adult life.
Let's talk about your storyVery pivotal part about being

(06:57):
kicked out at 17 years old.
Let's talk about how thatbrought you resilience, how you
rebuilt from that and like whatrole the relationships you
started gaining, how that helpedyou in your healing.

Speaker 2 (07:12):
So it's really ironic that you bring that up, because
that was such a long time agofor me and now that I am
transitioning into being amother that moment has
resurfaced.
So I haven't talked about it atall, just kind of briefly to

(07:33):
some friends and family aboutwhat I've been going through.
But, yes, I was kicked out at 17for being gay and it was a
pivotal moment because I didn'tknow what the heck I was doing.
I'm like such a young girl,naive, very much grew up in the
church, very much sheltered,very much cultured in the Latino

(07:57):
culture, african-americanculture.
I was cultured, I was sheltered.
I was like culture.
I was cultured, I was sheltered.
I was like I didn't know a lotabout life.
Yeah, so when this happened tome, I literally had to survive
and fend for myself and this isnot for the weak.
What I went through and whatmany other people have probably

(08:19):
gone through when they weredisplaced because there was a
disagreement between yourparents or whatever it could be
any traumatic or trauma-ledevent.
Mine just so happened to bebeing gay, being homosexual,
being kicked out of the church,being kicked out of my house, my

(08:40):
mother's house, and it changedmy life my house, my mother's
house, and it changed my life.
So most people look at that andsay, okay, this is trauma.
I, for those who know, no, I donot live my life based on
trauma.
Traumatic things have happened,but I don't stay there and so I

(09:02):
am probably that 99, like that1% out of 99%.
That's going to be like okayand yeah you know it's kind of
harsh.
You know my coaching style I'mgoing to be all that.
She does not play.
Okay, she does not.
I'm like, okay, this happenedand yeah, so that experience

(09:22):
shaped me.
That experience was not onlytraumatic, but it definitely
showed me who people are, andwhen they show you who they are,
believe them, because you don'tknow when it's going to come
back around.

Speaker 1 (09:34):
So let me fast forward.

Speaker 2 (09:36):
I am expecting a son, my son.
My wife is carrying him and I'mso excited Me too, girl.
Oh my God, I'm so excited.
I have been an auntie, a Godmom.
I've been everything for otherpeople's children and I have not
been afforded the opportunityto be a mother.
So this experience has broughtthat same energy from 17 back

(10:01):
into my life, and most peoplewould want me to share the story
, and you know out the peoplethat are not involved or not
accepting of my child.
One thing for sure I'm notgoing to play about my baby.
So that experience hasresurfaced, and so the reason

(10:22):
why I talk a lot aboutrelational intelligence is
because if I wasn't relationallyintelligent, what has been
presented to me, it would havewent a different direction.
But because I'm emotionally andrelationally intelligent and
educated about how to navigaterelationships is why I'm able to
navigate this experience withthe same individual that is not

(10:46):
wanting to be a part of ourlives anymore because we're
having a son.

Speaker 1 (10:51):
Wow, wow.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
I haven't said it out loud in public.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
So well y'all heard it.
Yeah, I know a lot of motherson that listen to us Like they,
they understand, like when itcomes to our kids, there's
nothing, nobody that can youknow, break any type of barrier
or stop you from protecting,like your child, like we.
We all understand that.

(11:15):
So we're talking about howpowerful it is to be emotionally
and relationally intelligent.
Let's talk about some everydayways that maybe moms struggle in
relationships, like with theirpartners, their families.
How can relationship,intelligence and building that
skill help them?

Speaker 2 (11:35):
So, okay, so I've been with my spouse for 17 years
.
We clearly have not hadchildren up until this moment.
My son is not here yet.
He will be here soon, in like amonth, and then I will
experience some of the thingsthat the ladies that listen to
your podcast have experienced.

(11:56):
The only difference is I'vedone a lot of pre-work, okay, so
I've done a lot of healing.
I've done a lot of healing.
I've done a lot of hardconversations.
I've done a lot of the workthat people typically do when
children are already here.
I've done that prior to having.
I'm not saying that, oh, mylevel of relational intelligence

(12:17):
is more superior than the nextwoman, but what I will say is I
did work, pre-work that mostwomen have not done, and so, to
answer your question, it's likeif you want to be in a certain
space, number one, which I talkabout all the time, is

(12:40):
communication.
It is the number one issue thatwe have in any level of
relationship, even communicatingwith our children.
So I can only speak to mygodchildren, because that's who
I have trained up to berelationally intelligent, them
little babies.
They know love tank.
They know everything about whatI'm going to say before I say

(13:02):
it, when it comes to beingintelligent relationally and I
started really young becausewhen you know there's a lot of
different dynamics that thatthey're involved in that I kind
of want to shape, shift and havemy hands in so that they can be
the best that they can be, notjust as a cousin to my child,
but just in life, yeah, as ahuman, as a human being, and

(13:24):
that's really what it's about.
Um, so communication would benumber one.
Communication is one of thehardest things for us to really
grasp.
Um, I'm not saying it's theeasiest thing, but once you can
get a handle on it, you can beable to navigate and negate
issues, not saying that therewon't be any issues because
there will be.

(13:44):
Yeah, there will be, it's goingto happen.
It will happen, yeah, it's justhow, in which way you change
the conversation to your benefitrelationally.
Yeah, if that's between you andyour spouse, you and your
family, you and your children,because conversations will have
to be had and hard ones willhave to be had in each dynamic.

(14:08):
So ultimately, that would bethe one and done for me is just
communication.
There's other things, but ifyou are able to focus on the
communicational piece, thenother things will be a lot
easier to navigate, that's true.
So let me ask you a lot easierto navigate, that's true.
So let me ask you, since youalready have children what are?

Speaker 1 (14:31):
some of the things that you feel or find that I
would say definitely with havingkids, their, their emotional
levels change so much throughoutthe years like Olivia at three
years old is not the same OliviaI'm dealing with right now at
seven, and so you have to beable to kind of watch them in a

(14:55):
way that you can adapt and say,okay, this is what age they're
at now, this is how I cancommunicate with her, this is
what she understands, this iswhat she doesn't understand, and
actually kids understand a lotmore than you think they do.
But being able to navigate andunderstand.
Okay, this is the age thatshe's at, thinking back maybe

(15:16):
even how were you when you wereseven years old?
You know what were you thinking, what were your feelings and
things like that.
And so when she comes to me,you know starting to and build
those moments of conversationswith her, asking her really
every day like how's thingsgoing on at school, starting
that earlier than you think,because, believe it or not, they

(15:40):
start going through stuff infirst grade, you know, with
other students or teachers orjust feelings that they're
having, especially like withsiblings.
That's another dynamic that I'mlearning that I did not know
because I didn't grow up with mykids, um.
So yeah, it's.
It's been helpful for me tojust view the conversations that

(16:01):
I have with her in a differentway.
And then, of course, obviously,as Jade and Henry get older,
yeah, same thing with them.
Yeah, yeah, wow, yeah, wow.

Speaker 2 (16:10):
Yeah, I didn't have any.
Well, I had siblings, but theyweren't like my blood siblings.
Um, I had two amazing sistersthat lived across the hall from
me.
Their mother is my godmother.
She ultimately raised me aswell, and then I had, and she
has two girls, and so, althoughI was a single, a single child

(16:31):
in my mother's house, I had theprivilege of growing up in an
environment that was veryuntraditional, and so I had my
dad, which he's not my birthfather, but he's my dad since I
was five, and he has kids, andhis wife has a daughter.
So I have siblings, yeah, andI'm not really all about blood

(16:54):
or not blood.
I didn't grow up like that.
I grew up very untraditional, Igrew up thinking that these
people were my real siblings andis so I kind of have a single
child mindset slash siblings.
It's just really weird.
But I'm curious to see how myson's name is Chrome.

(17:19):
I'm curious to see what Chromeis all about, who he is, and
I've read the five lovelanguages for children prior.

Speaker 1 (17:28):
I still need to read that that pre-work.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
I got a whole course on it Pre-work, just to
understand.
And one thing that stuck out tome about that book is that the
one to five years, it's all five.
Love languages, it's words ofaffirmation, it's physical touch
, it's acts of service, it's allof that.
And I created a little workbookfor kids based on that theory

(17:54):
of incorporating everyday fivelove languages for kids.
And I did do that with my Godkids.
And I feel like that is veryimportant because when I started
Love Tank and I started toreally get into more of the
coaching space, it really wasabout the five love languages
for adults and that's how.

(18:15):
And then I would just you know,oh, words of affirmation.
But then I realized, afterreading the children's version
later, we need to incorporateall five period.
Yeah, all five period.

Speaker 1 (18:28):
Yeah, it doesn't matter what your top or you know
Exactly yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:31):
Definitely all aspects, all aspects in multiple
phases of life, not just, youknow, when things get hard or
which most of us.
That's really what people seekmore information is when things
are hard.
It's not when it's not themaintenance of the children, or

(18:52):
the maintenance of yourrelationship, or your marriage
or parenting, or whatever thecase is.
And I'm going to just stopthere, because you know I can
get a whole and a whole notherthing about maintenance yes.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
Yes, OK, so we're talking about Croom.
You're prepping to welcome babyboy into the world, into your
family.
How has what you know nowstarted to really shape how
you're going to show up?

Speaker 2 (19:19):
as a mom.
Everybody knows me as CJ's wife, everybody knows me as the God
mom, everybody knows me as asibling, you know, as the woman
of love tank, and nobody hasseen me as the mother, because
I'm the mother.
I'm a mother, okay, I'm a motheras soon as chrome started being

(19:41):
built.
Um, so for me, being and I'mgoing to keep saying this
relationally intelligent.
Relationally intelligentbecause that that means what it
means for you is going to bedifferent from what it means to
me, because who I show up as awoman, how I show up as a woman
in this world, um, for me it'sjust being the best version of

(20:03):
myself.
For him, um, spiritually,emotionally available, and who
he sees me as with his mother,his other mother, yes, because
I'm mommy, she's mom, I'm mommy.
But it's very important when yousee okay, let me pause for a
second when you see my wife andI there is undoubtedly a word I

(20:29):
feel like I've heard that beforeUndoubtedly you will see pure
love.
Pure love when you see us, whenyou know us, when you have
experienced us.
Love is the one thing that youcan't deny.
No matter what we've gonethrough and, trust me, we've
gone through things, throughthings.

(20:57):
Love is who we are.
And when I think about God'slove, I am so grateful that I am
embodying nothing compared toGod's love, but I am embodying
love.
So my son can see love.
I didn't really see that in myprimary health, and so it's very
important for me to exude thatfor him.

Speaker 1 (21:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:20):
And all of the other things you know.
I think the main thing that Iam very proud of is to show up,
yeah, and healing is always,ever evolving.
So before, okay, so when youoffered me to come to the
podcast, I would have said I'mhealed.

(21:41):
My relationships are my biggestflex.
Let me talk about thisrelationship with my mom.
Let me talk about thisrelationship with my wife and
talk about the relationshipuntil life.
Life and most people are used tome not having a lot of
relational issues.
I'm dealing with one right nowand it's very interesting to

(22:02):
utilize the skills that I havetaught others and have to use in
myself in a moment wherehappiness it should be the only
thing that I'm experiencing.
So now I show up to the podcastknowing that healing is always,
ever evolving.
It's not just oh, I am healedbecause I was healed from

(22:24):
certain things, and I will sayI'm still healed from the same
things, but I have to navigatethat a little bit differently.
Something new, something verynew and not foreign because I've
experienced it before.
So for Chrome, he gets toexperience the healed version of

(22:45):
where I am today.

Speaker 1 (22:46):
Yeah, I love that.

Speaker 2 (22:48):
And, yes, I'm excited , I'm elated, I am so grateful
to God for the opportunity to bea mother.
That's first and foremostbecause people don't know.
You know.
People often want to know.
You know why is she caring andnot you?
And they want to know all ofthese questions.

Speaker 1 (23:07):
They want to know all the business.

Speaker 2 (23:09):
And then we had to.
We had to grieve ourrelationship for 17 years
because, yes, it's going to bedifferent.

Speaker 1 (23:15):
It's so different.
Yeah, like, and y'all are in,even watching y'all, like I
think I'm just.
I was talking to my therapistthe other day.
She's like oh, what examples doyou have of love?
And I was like I don't know, Ididn't grow up seeing that.
And then do you have of love?
And I was like I don't know, Ididn't grow up seeing that.
And then I immediately it waslike no, I got examples, I gotta
see J and Jess.

(23:35):
So, but yeah, just seeing y'allalthough I know, yes, it's
gonna change your relationship,but y'all are in such a great
place relationally like, yeah,y'all will be able to navigate
all of it.
It's really about alignment.

Speaker 2 (23:50):
It's about conversations around having to
grieve I wouldn't say we, like Iuse the word grieve because
it's very much relatable but wehad to have conversations before
, you know, when we found out,oh, we got the great news.
And then we're like, oh, ourlife is going to change.
It's going to be, our life isgoing to change, yeah, it's

(24:11):
going to be our relationship isgoing to change and you know it
will not be two of us anymore,It'll be three.
And so having and it was a veryemotional experience because
you know it's like there'smoments where I'm like I'm not
the carrier Will I have a bond?
You know, these are the thingsthat you don't often talk

(24:35):
through, um, because it's a lotof people don't really talk
about the truth of the matter.
You know who's caring and whatthat does to the relationship
and how do people feelemotionally her feelings versus
my feelings and so we had totalk all those things through
and we're still talking thosethings through and everybody.
It's more so about the joy andthe glitz and the glam.

(24:59):
But there are a lot of pre-workthat you have to do, I think,
for us, because we planned it.
It wasn't, it's not like asurprise.
So it is my due diligence.
This is me being emotionallyand relationally intelligent,
meaning this is me being aresponsible human being by
making sure we're doing andhaving those conversations prior

(25:19):
to his arrival.
So we are prepared and she hadto do her own work.
Yeah, Okay, Her work is herwork, my work is my work and our
work is our work together.
Does that make sense?

Speaker 1 (25:32):
Yeah, absolutely it's it's a lot.

Speaker 2 (25:34):
It's so many things.
It's so many good things.
It's just.
It's just so many things yougot to do yes.

Speaker 1 (25:39):
Okay, so we know a lot of our listeners probably
have not done the pre-work,right.
Me being one of them.
I had not done the pre-workright.
But I realized, okay, this issomething that I need to take
care of for my kids.
Like there's, there's literallyliterally no.
Like better late than never,like that, that's true, just do

(26:03):
it.
But how does someone know, um,that it's time to start doing
that type of inner work?
Like where do they have to beto say, okay, I need to take
this step?

Speaker 2 (26:16):
So remember, just like briefly, when I was talking
about maintenance yeah, so Idon't feel like we.
Okay, so your question is howwould somebody know?
I don't feel that people shouldhave to know.
I think it's just somethingthat you should do, okay.
I think it's just a matter ofeither you're going to do it or
you're not.
You don't need to arrive inthis magical space and have this

(26:39):
epiphany and say, hey, I needto start doing this.
No, you need to do maintenancePeriod.
These are things so okay In myworld.
We have the luxury of doingpre-work because we pre-plan, we
have to do iuis, ivf, we haveto do all of these things to you
know, find a donor.

(26:59):
All of you know all of thesethings that involved pre-work
per se, whereas a heterosexualcouple they, you know, you guys
are intimate.
You do your thing and then youhave, oh, there's a baby.
So it's different.
So, whether you do pre-workwhile you're pregnant, it's

(27:22):
still good, and if you do itafter, it's still good work.
It's still good work.
But there should be some sort ofsome sort of urgency to make
sure that the household is inorder.
Yeah, and and and.
When I mean order, that's notsaying, oh, everything needs to
be in place or your life needsto be this.
No, it's just doing the worklittle by little, every day, and

(27:42):
whatever that looks like foryou, because it's going to look
different for everybody.
But you need to do something.
There has to be some sort ofurgency for you to want to be
better, do better, whatever thecircumstances.
Now pause, Most people may say,okay, well, my life isn't set
up that way, but you got a phone.

Speaker 1 (28:03):
That's very true.
You have a notes app.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
You have the same energy that you put in anything
else in your life should be thesame energy that you put into
wanting to do quote-unquotepre-work.
Pre is prior.
Oh, look at me, I think I'm incollege so you know, I've been
thinking I know something pre isprior, but pre-post, whatever
the case is, do the work is mypoint.

(28:26):
Yeah, um, now, hopefully newmoms that come to you would
maybe interested in.
Oh, what does pre-work processlook like?
And we can get into that atthat time.
But that's a service.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
Yeah, yeah, Everything is.
Let's talk about the power of amom having her own voice.
Talk about the power of a momhaving her own voice, and this
is something that I know maybenot all of us have experienced
at some point.

(29:02):
But having, you know, having ababy or having a baby brought
into your life, that's a change,right.
And so sometimes, during thattransition there it's a
transition, right, it's atransformation you might feel
like gosh, I don't even know whoI am anymore.
Can you speak to those momsthat feel like they have lost
their voice, lost their way andkind of?

Speaker 2 (29:23):
don't know where to start, so I'm going to speak
from a place of being a woman,and you know when I first met
you, a woman, and you know whenI first met you, that was
something that I wanted you tounderstand from our first
conversation was your voice.
Most people feel as though thatthey don't have a voice in this

(29:47):
world, and I know that even inthe climate that we're in today,
it's very hard to fathom.
using your voice.
Your voice is your power, right?
And it's not that you justspeak at a turn or you just
speak frivolously.
It's just about being able toarticulate your needs, your

(30:08):
wants, articulate your deepestdesires in the way that you
understand your communicationstyle and how you communicate.
Those things is your voice.
So your question does notnecessarily apply to me
physically, because there's aphysical experience that my wife

(30:31):
will have that I will notexperience because she is
carrying our child and she willbe birthing our child.
And there is going to be apostpartum experience that I
won't know anything aboutbecause I'm the supporter.
So I can't necessarily speak toyour voice.

(30:51):
In the way, it's easy for me tosay, yes, use your voice, have
your voice, don't ever loseyourself.
But I won't know what that is.
I will know it more from asupportive standpoint.

(31:13):
Physical element to having ababy that Every it's the
experience is different foreverybody.
Now let me tell you I've beencoached up.
Yeah, I've been coached.
Ok, I'm a good daddy.
Yeah, love saying that becausethat's who I am.
No, I'm just kidding.
And I have been explainedpostpartum, depression,

(31:35):
postpartum, and I've done so.
This is again going back topre-work, researching.
You know what the possibilitiesare, what the possibilities can
be.
Who am I going to be for her asa support so that I mean
naturally, yeah, ourrelationship's good, we're in
alignment.
We have all these conversations, we've done all this pre-work,
but the reality is that physicalelement, that chemistry in the

(31:58):
body, you can't deny is real.
Your voice is your power, but italso means me being a support
to my wife and being a voice forher when those when times come
when she can't speak for herselfor she doesn't have it for

(32:20):
herself.
So I will forever be a support,navigating what that looks like
when he's here, what, andhonestly paying attention to who
I used to know, because who shewas prior to being pregnant is
completely different.
Who I've been experiencing thelast seven months is very

(32:41):
different from who I was marriedto 17 years.
So who she will be after Chromeis born will also be very
different, be very different.
Yeah, so I can't really answerthat like just in just an easy
way, because, one, I'm not thecarrier and, two, that chemical,

(33:05):
that scientific aspect, I won'texperience.
Yeah, so I don't know what it'slike to lose your voice after
birth.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
I think it.
I think the way that you'resharing also speaks to moms.
If you do feel like you've lostyour voice, you've got to find
your, you got to find yourcircle, you've got to find your
support that can say that youcan trust, that can say okay,
she's going through something,let me go check on her or let me
see what she needs.
How can she communicate that tome and pay?

Speaker 2 (33:33):
attention, like, yes, pay attention.
So like, if you know apersonality type of a person,
okay, so I'm gonna talk to yourbaby daddies, your husbands,
your all of those people, right,tell them to listen to this
episode because, um, thrivinglike a mother is a family.
It's still family to me, and soI feel as though, for the

(33:57):
spouse husbands, wives, whateverspouse you should pay attention
to your significant other.
Sometimes a significant othermay not even know or realize
that she's losing something, andI think it's not a loss.
Right, we're not losing ourvoice.

(34:17):
We're trying to figure out anew way to speak.
Yeah, it's transformation.
So, caught up in what we'relosing when we're having a child
that we need to really focus onwhat we're gaining and who
we're shape shifting to, andwhat transformation looks like.
Having a child is atransformation in life.
It is a beautiful experiencewhere a lot of people don't have

(34:38):
the opportunity to experience.
So if we look at it more so asa transformation versus a loss,
then you will have less pressureon showing up or being perfect
or whatever.
The case is, in that you knowtransitional space and if you
have a good support system,which starts in the home, most

(35:00):
women want to seek out otherwomen to be their support where
you need to be focused on thehousehold, because that's where
the child is going to be and whowill be more effective?

Speaker 1 (35:10):
The child yes, that is true.
Let's talk about bootcamp andcoaching.
Yeah, we need to go there.
You've been sharing so manygems with our listeners today,
but I know that you already havea few tools in your toolbox
that you can share with them,that they could access today or
in the future.

Speaker 2 (35:28):
Yes, so I have a bootcamp called the Power of
Conversations and the.
The power of conversations isreally just being able to
understand.
Do you want ordinaryrelationships or do you want
extraordinary ones, anextraordinary meaning
conversation?
Right, the biggest flex in theworld is to be able to

(35:52):
communicate.
So you talk about your voice,right?
Going back to that, it's moreso how we bring communication
and how we have hardconversations in relationships,
and most of the time peoplethink that if you have a hard
conversation, that, oh, therelationship's not going to work
.
That is false.
That's false.
You will have arguments.

(36:13):
You will have.
You will have arguments, youwill have disagreements, you
will have things that you'llhave to go through and navigate,
but how you navigate that in a,in a form of a conversation, is
key.
Yeah, so I teach a.
I have an eight course bootcampNow.
We did four weeks, but I thinkwe did a little bit longer than

(36:35):
four weeks, cause I don't feellike it was long enough.
Um, but I'm not really.
I'm looking for people totransform their mindset when it
comes to communicating.
Communicating has always beengrouped into a negative.
It's like a negativeconnotation around it.
No, you know, communication canbe easy, it can be pleasant

(36:58):
when even if it's somethingthat's ugly you've got to talk
about but, it's how youcommunicate, right?
If you think about when you grewup, were you really taught how
to be in relationship?
Yeah, no, absolutely not Okay.
And the reason is because we'reall just trying to exist, we're
just trying to survive, we'rejust trying to make it, we're

(37:19):
trying to do all these things.
But I remember sitting at thetable and this was at my mama
Lupe's house and, of course, wealways had dinner at my mama
Lupe's house and we sat at thedinner table, yeah, you know,
eating our jalapenos, ourtortillas, our frijoles, all
those things, and we would talk,yeah, and one thing for sure we

(37:40):
couldn't leave a table till wefinished our food.
But that's a whole nother thing.
But, um, communication wassomething that we did.
Now I take that sorry mike,sorry Mike, my bad, I take that
as wow.
That was a great way for us tobond, a great way for us to talk

(38:01):
about things, and it was justso impactful for me.
And then I realized, when I wentinto other environments where I
didn't have it and howdifferent the relationships were
.
And so this was me young, andso this is me thinking back at
my younger years and wherecommunication was and where it
lacked and what that did to myrelationship.

(38:23):
So, yes, I teach off ofexperience, but I also very much
educated when it comes toteaching people how to navigate
relationships, because I've donethe work, I'm certified yes,
and I'm still in school.
And the power of conversationsbootcamp is just one of those
things where I couldn't keep itto myself anymore.
I had to try to create astructured environment which my

(38:46):
followers, which my people,wanted to know what it was to
understand communications andcommunicating better.
And you took the course, yes,doing the work, maintenance,
maintenance.

Speaker 1 (39:01):
Yeah, okay, the bootcamp.
How would the bootcamp not onlyhelp a mom who you know you
need to go sign up to her page?
All the stuff is going to be inthe show notes, um, but how can
it take them?
I guess this will kind of startour closing a little bit, but
how can it take them from justsurviving in relationships,

(39:23):
going through the motions, andto thriving?

Speaker 2 (39:26):
so when I love your podcast name and I think that
everybody is looking to thrivein some aspect of their life,
and when you have a realizationthat, when you're honest with
yourself, right, and you realizethat it's okay to start over at
whatever point that you're atRight, and I think that having

(39:50):
community is beautiful, and whenyou're in I'll, I'll, you
know'll ask you how I could be apart of the mom community,
because that's about that time Ithink that women and mothers
need to know that surviving isjust for a season, is just for a

(40:17):
season, and so sometimes,sometimes, we are in survival
mode and we're in a survivalspace, because maybe that's
where we're supposed to be inthat moment and maybe we're
supposed to learn something inthat.
So sit with yourself long enoughto understand why you're in
that space and what you'retrying to take out of that
experience.
And what do I need to do to getto a place to thrive?

(40:39):
We're often looking atsurviving and trying.
So A, b and C, you're trying toskip every other step to get to
thriving.
And then you realize, oh, it'snot working for me, it's not
working for you because you skipsteps.
Oh, it's not working for me,it's not working for you because
you skip steps.
You don't go from kindergartento seventh grade.
There are different gradelevels that you have to go

(40:59):
through to get to the seventhgrade.
There's different moments anddifferent times and you're
learning different things andthere's a pace for a reason.
So, although you may have tosurvive a little bit longer than
the next person, first of allstop looking at where another
mom is.

Speaker 1 (41:16):
Yeah, when another woman is.

Speaker 2 (41:18):
That comparison will kill you.
And analyze, be honest withyourself and then figure out a
strategy so that you can thrive.
It's like I want women to stopand think for a second about
where they are and why they'rein that space and stop pointing
the fingers at everybody else.
Yeah, oh, he's not doing that.

(41:40):
She's not doing that.
My childhood, this, oh, and andwhat about you?

Speaker 1 (41:46):
What?

Speaker 2 (41:46):
about you?
What about you?
What about you?
Yeah?
Then, when you realize that,realize that, okay, let me look
at myself for a second and thenthriving should be your mantra,
right, it should be somethingthat you tell yourself every day
I'm trying to take myself outof survive, I want to thrive,
taking myself out of survive, Iwant to thrive, but how you get

(42:08):
there and how you stay there, isthat resilient piece?
Yeah, because you can get to aspace of thriving.
Shoot, I thrived in 08 when Imet my spouse.
I was a good looking tenderoniback then.
Then I had to survive for a fewyears.
Then I thrived in 2014 when.
I came to Atlanta, so there weremoments where I had to survive

(42:32):
and then there's moments where Iwas thriving, but what I lacked
then was relationalintelligence, yeah, so when you
realize that you want toactually thrive and how do you
stay?
There is really what you shouldbe focused on and create
strategies around thriving andto stay thriving and be okay

(42:53):
when there's a moment whereyou've got to survive again,
because that's just real yeah,like it's gonna happen y'all, it
really is it's happening andit's like okay, and give
yourself grace when, when, when,when, when stuff hits the fan
because you have to be okay withthat.
Yeah, have to, like we're sofocused on and I don't want to
give no false advice.

(43:14):
You know I would be doing yourlisteners a disservice if I
wasn't honest about what's real.
You know things are going tohappen.
That's just the honest to Godtruth.
Yeah, pray as God to guide youin the way that you should go.
When you realize that thingshappen, because things happen to
everybody and for those peoplethat you follow and you think

(43:37):
things ain't happening in thebackground, oh, yeah, it's
happening.
It's happening.
So figure out what it is in aform of a strategy or hire a
coach.
Like, stop faking the funk andacting like you.
Just can you know.
Like, stop faking the funk andacting like you just can you
know Therapy is great.
I'm not your therapist, but youknow there's certain things and

(43:58):
the reason why I'm not goingthe therapy route is because I
realize the type of coachingstyle I have is a little abrupt,
but I want to keep it real withpeople.
Yeah, people need that.
And it's like come on, girl andgirl, and find a strategy hire
a coach, get some assistance andknow that you may have to

(44:19):
survive again.
You may have to survive again.
This is the reality.
But you'll be tooled up.

Speaker 1 (44:24):
Your tool belt will be lit, you'll be ready.
Okay, exactly Okay.
So I want to end here.
First of all, just thank youfor being here.
I'm just yeah, y'all don't evenunderstand.
First of all, to start havingguest interviews this season on
the podcast was a hurdle for me.
Then saying, oh, I want to doit in person once, and then for

(44:48):
the first person to be Jasmine.
Y'all Okay, if you're notfollowing her yet, please go
follow her.

Speaker 2 (44:54):
All the information is going to be in the show notes
and just again thank you forbeing here, thank you for
pouring entire listeners and wecan't wait for crew, oh my God.
So first of all, if I may say,I have watched you evolve into
who you are today, watched youevolve into who you are today.

(45:18):
So to to know you back then andto see you hosting your own
podcast is literally the like.
That is what life's about,seeing it full circle, like I am
honored to be here because it'sit's like you have always,
always supported me.
You've always supported me,from day one, even though she
didn't talk much.
I really didn't pull it out.

(45:38):
I had to pull it out and pullit out.
I'm like hey, knock, knock,knock, I'm not leaving.
Um, but I am so extremely proudof you.
You know, I don't think peoplerealize for those listeners
you're just getting to know,you're getting to know E.
Now.
I have known E from hertransformation, so when she,

(45:59):
when there was moments where shewasn't thriving, and now to see
her evolve into a podcast, likejust everything that you're
doing I'm so proud of and Ithink that people, you know you
need to clap for the women atall avenues of their life.
You don't just clap for themwhen they're down and clap for
them when they're up.
You got to make sure that youclap for them in any aspect of

(46:22):
their life and I'm extremelyproud.
I mean, I can't even.
It's like to see God work.
Yes.
Like in the fruit is like you'renow bearing your fruit and it's
just like I hope people tap inand I hope that people really
see you for who you are today.
Yeah, and what you're going todo for women is phenomenal,

(46:45):
especially mothers.
That's your thing, girl.
I'm excited.
I mean, chrome is going to beeaten, oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (46:51):
What was it?
Six months, six months, sixmonths, okay, avocado.

Speaker 2 (46:55):
Yes, avocado, they expensive.
But Ebony you know she bechopping up Henry's stuff and I
got to take.
Now.
I got to take her courseBecause I don't know nothing
about feeding kids at six months, because you know I got to get
my baby off the well she goingto be breastfeeding, but I got
to get my baby off the well.
she's going to be breastfeedingbut you know, yeah, you know,
you got to interchange sweetpotatoes.
They said sweet potatoes.

(47:17):
But yeah, so All the things,all the things I'm like Henry be
eating, yes, he does he beeating.
Yeah, I love that.
I love that.

Speaker 1 (47:31):
Because you know they don't be, they're ready.

Speaker 2 (47:33):
Henry Eaton, Okay, but um no, I'm proud of you.
I am so grateful to be here and, you know, taking me out of my
element.
What people don't know about meis I'm very shy.

Speaker 1 (47:45):
Yeah, they.
You know I'm a little, I'm apersonality, but you know.

Speaker 2 (47:48):
I'll be sweating you know my armpits sweating right
now but, um, to get me out of mycomfort zone to express and to
share, which I don't really domuch, I'm like, oh man, you're
going to have me on camera.
I can't practice, no nopractice, no practice.
But yeah, I'm proud of you andI can't wait and I will support

(48:11):
you until the end, in the endsof this earth, my boo All right?

Speaker 1 (48:16):
Well, let the listeners know I have another
show notes, but tell them wherethey can follow you on.

Speaker 2 (48:22):
Oh, you can follow me on everything at Live Love Tank
L-I-V-E-L-O-V-E-T-A-N-K.
Live Love Tank, love it.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
Thank you so much for listening love.
If anything in today's episoderesonated with you, share it
with your bestie, or share it onsocial media and tag me so we
can chat about it, as always,sending you light and love, and
remember you are worthy, you areenough and you deserve to
thrive.
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