September 23, 2025 • 22 mins
Your worth isn't measured by your productivity, and your rest shouldn't be treated as a reward you earn only after completing an endless to-do list.
This powerful truth forms the foundation of this episode where I dive deep into the complicated relationship ambitious Black women often have with rest.
Growing up watching my mother work tirelessly—studying in our bathroom after long workdays—I internalized the belief that exhaustion was the price of success. But after years of pushing until my body literally gave out, forcing unwanted breaks through illness, I've learned a transformative lesson: rest isn't what comes after the work is done. It's what sustains us so we can show up fully in every area of our lives.
The shift from viewing rest as a reward to embracing it as a priority doesn't happen overnight. It requires consciously scheduling moments of pause throughout your day, protecting that time as sacred, and reframing what success looks like. When we make this shift, something beautiful happens—we show up differently as mothers, entrepreneurs, partners, and friends.
We model for our children that their value isn't tied to productivity. My daughter Olivia now sees me taking intentional breaks, and I'm teaching her that rest is strength, not weakness.
Ready to reclaim your rest? This episode has you start by auditing your beliefs about rest. We'll learn how to:
- incorporate micro-rest moments into your day
- fiercely protect your rest time
- include rest in your definition of success
Remember, rest is resistance in a culture that glorifies burnout. It's restoration for a body and mind that carry so much. And most importantly, it's your birthright—something you deserve right now, exactly as you are.
Share this episode with another ambitious mama who needs permission to pause, and let me know how you're prioritizing rest this week!
Thank you so much for listening in! If this episode spoke to you, it would mean the world to me if you left a review or shared it with a friend. And don’t forget to tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me spread the word.
Follow and chat with me on Instagram:
Podcast account - @thrivelikeamother.podcast
Personal account - @thrive.empowered
Sending you light and love always!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, love, I'm Ebony and welcome to Thrive Like a
Mother On this podcast.
We're scared for our truth, butthat fear is what fuels us to
truly live in it.
You're in the right place ifyou feel like you're stuck in
survivor mode and you're readyto step into who you were truly
(00:20):
meant to be.
I'll share resources and toolsI use daily to help you in your
journey towards a healthiermindset and to break the wheel
of survival.
The journey may not be easy,but you won't have to face it
alone.
I'm a mama of three, healingday by day from past trauma, and
I'm on a mission to build alife I've always dreamed of but
(00:42):
never thought was possible.
So, love, if you're ready tobelieve in what's possible,
let's link arms and thrivetogether.
Hey, loves, welcome back to theThrive Like a Mother podcast.
(01:03):
I'm so grateful that you arehere with me today.
Y'all, today is a realconversation, y'all.
We're going to chat about rest,and specifically specifically
rest for the ambitious Blackwomen, which is who I am.
I happen to be an ambitiousBlack woman and, honestly, y'all
(01:26):
, for the longest time, I reallygrew up with the belief that
rest was something that I had toearn, that you only got rest
when the hard work was done.
But honestly, if I'm beinghonest, now, being a mother of
three, I have realized that thework is never done.
The to-do list never ends.
There's always another task,always another responsibility,
(01:49):
always someone else who needs usright.
And so for me, that means thatat one point I was constantly
just pouring out, constantlystriving and really only resting
when my body gave out and whenit forced me to, which, as you
(02:11):
can imagine, led to a lot oftimes where, you know, I might
be down for a few days sick, andI started to get curious of
like, ok, this isn't workingexactly the way I think it
should be working.
I don't think my body should becrashing out, so to speak.
And so I've been taking timesince that point in my life you
(02:33):
know my 20s where I was just go,go, go.
Rest is only when the hard workis done, when you are at
capacity.
I've been working to unlearnthat habit and I am realizing
that now rest is not a reward,it's not something that you work
towards, your rest is apriority.
(02:54):
It's not what I get, you know,after I've hustled and I've
worked hard and I feel like,yeah, you know, I've done what I
need to do.
Now I can rest.
No, it's not that.
It's truly what sustains me andwhat honestly keeps me being
able to show up in the capacitythat I want to show up.
(03:16):
I don't want to show up, youknow, to my kids half tired
because I've been working sohard and pouring out to everyone
everything that needs mysupport, that needs me to serve,
and so I want to be able toactually show up as the mom, as
the woman, as the entrepreneurthat I want to be on a daily
(03:38):
basis and because of that, like,rest needed to stop being a
reward and it needed to become apart of just me, just what I do
.
The truth really is, y'all mykids are watching me.
They don't just like hear whatI say they, by the way, they
hear everything, but they reallyare watching how I live, how I
(04:00):
show up on a daily basis, notjust for them, but just in the
world in general.
And I realized that I didn'twant them to grow up thinking
that exhaustion was normal, thatburnout is normal or that their
worth was tied to how much theydo, how much they accomplish.
I wanted them to see rest trulyas a form of strength, as you
(04:24):
know, non-negotiable part oflife.
That is what rest is to me, andso today we're going to talk
about what shifting from rest asa reward to rest as a priority,
what that looks like, whatsteps you can start taking to
reach for that and, honestly,what it meant for me personally.
(04:46):
I want you to start reclaimingyour rest as our priority too,
because, honestly, we alldeserve it.
Not someday I'll get the rest.
You know now is not the season.
No, today is the season.
It's always the season for restright now.
And so I brought up very earlyon in this episode about being
(05:11):
an ambitious Black woman and Ihave learned that, you know,
oftentimes, being in that space,we are expected to carry it all
, to carry everything.
My first kind of interactionwith seeing rest was, honestly,
(05:33):
watching my mom go, go, go sohard.
She was working, she's workingon her degree.
There were times where shewould get home late and then in
our apartment she would beworking on her homework in the
bathroom.
That was her office, and Iremember just wondering like,
wow, she's working really hard,and I love that that was
(05:55):
instilled in me, that habit ofworking hard towards a goal,
towards your purpose towards,you know, walking your path.
I really, really loved that,that was instilled in me, and
now that I am the mom right, themama of three, so, as I say,
like walking in her, in hershoes and in her footsteps I am
(06:19):
learning that I want to dothings a little bit differently
and that I want to, yes, worktowards the path, yes, walk in
my purpose, but I also want rest.
The rest does not come after thework is done, because the work
is never done.
So if the work is never done,when are you going to rest?
(06:41):
When?
When are you going to make thata priority?
I grew up learning, you know,that things like survival and
strength and hustling, thosewere habits and traits that were
glorified, right, that was like, oh man, you've survived so
much, you're so strong, you'reworking so hard.
(07:04):
And while those things arebeautiful, we also have to have
the other side of that, where,yes, I am prioritizing my rest
and I'm a survivor and I'mstrong and I'm able to hustle
because I've taken the priorityof getting my rest, I've taken
the priority of getting my rest.
That is what I know now, right,and so let's chat through what
(07:28):
it means for rest to be apriority rather than a reward.
As far as priority, right, let'sdefine that word.
Priorities in your life, thoseare your non-negotiables, those
are your scheduled things, thoseare sacred, protected moments
in your life.
(07:49):
Those are your priorities,right?
And when you think about that,if you're a mama listening to
this, think about it in the wayas your kid, right.
Spending time with your kid isnot a reward, it's a priority.
We are ecstatic to be able tospend time with them.
It is a non-negotiable to spendtime with them.
(08:10):
We protect that time that wespend with them, and so why
wouldn't we do that for our rest?
Why?
Because when you think of theword reward and we look at that
definition, rewards areconditional, right, only if I've
done this thing.
They are inconsistent, it's notsomething that you get often,
(08:34):
right?
And rewards are something thatcan be easily taken away, and so
you can be talking to yourselfand saying, no, I'm going to
push harder, I'll get the restlater.
That's when we're thinking ofrest as a reward.
And for me, I know, as far asmaking rest a priority, I
(08:56):
brought up that word scheduledright, because now, rest is not
something that I'm workingtowards.
You know, towards the end ofthe week, we think of the
weekend as our rest point.
Now I'm thinking of how can Ibuild rest into every day, every
week, every single moment.
Not just because I work so hardall week, now I can have rest
(09:17):
during the weekend.
No, we need to start thinkingof and this is what I've done in
my life scheduling the restwithin the week.
So, whether that means taking abreak midday to take a walk to,
you know, sit with yourself anddo some breath work, you really
have to define what rest meansfor you.
(09:40):
But make it sacred, schedule it, pop it in your work calendar,
pop it in the family calendar soeveryone also starts seeing
this time for mommy to take timeto read or take a nap or just,
like I said, be with a momentwith yourself.
(10:02):
That shift for me, when Istarted prioritizing rest, when
I started making it somethingthat was sacred, making it
something that was scheduled, Istarted to show up differently,
not only as a mom, but as anentrepreneur, as a friend, as a
wife.
I started to show updifferently.
(10:23):
I started to feel myselfstarting to have a little bit
more capacity to show up in thebest way, in the best version of
myself that I wanted to be inthose areas that I wanted to
pour into and those people thatI wanted to pour into, things
started to look differently andI started to realize, wow, you
(10:45):
know, hustle is good.
I'm not going to say hustle isa bad thing, but hustle plus
rest, that is the magic rightthere.
That is the magic to make surethat not only, yes, I'm working
towards this goal, but I am alsotaking care of me so that I can
show up as the best version ofme.
(11:06):
Y'all, your kids, your kids, arewatching, watching.
They are not just listening,they are watching.
The other day, olivia startedto just notice and see when I
was resting and, honestly, as mykids get older, I get to be a
little bit more vocal with themabout hey, mama is taking a
(11:29):
break right now, you know, andeven offering it up to them Do
you think you want a break rightnow?
If they say no, that's okay,but starting to teach them that
rest is not something that wehave to work towards.
Even with Olivia coming homefrom school after a really long
day, instead of just jumpingstraight into homework, giving
her that opportunity to take amoment and rest her brain before
(11:54):
she starts, you know, tacklingmore tasks.
Those are the things that yourkids, you know.
As they're growing up, they'regoing to start recognizing that
for themselves.
They're going to start learningit early so that when you know
Olivia, jade, henry, when theyare my age, they know that rest
(12:14):
is something that is sacred.
That legacy, that legacy willcontinue to go on.
We're breaking that generationalcycle right that we have to
work hard for our rest.
We are breaking the cycle thatwe have to be exhausted.
If we're not exhausted, we'renot doing it right, and that is
just absolutely not true.
(12:34):
If you are well-rested, if youare working hard, you are doing
it right.
You are doing it right.
You are listening in toyourself within and seeing.
You know what's my capacity.
Do I need to take a break rightnow, or can I show up in the way
(12:57):
that I want to?
You know, I honestly ask myselfthat.
You know, throughout the day,throughout the day, I check in
with self and say where are wefeeling right now?
Can we move on to the next task?
Can we keep pouring into thistask or do we take a second to
breathe?
And I know sometimes, you know,when you're working things can
(13:20):
feel like, or when you're justbeing a mom in general, things
can feel like it's back to backto back.
It's never ending.
You can always always take thatfive minutes heck, two minutes
something to say.
I need to take a deep breathright now.
I am noticing a trend withinmyself that I am working towards
exhaustion, and that is notwhere we want to be.
(13:41):
I want to help us startshifting the perspective of
working.
You know so hard that we feelexhausted by the end of the day.
Feeling tired at the end of theday is normal.
Right, it's normal.
Our bodies need rest, butexhausted every single day
doesn't have to be like that, itdoesn't.
(14:03):
And so I want to get into sometips.
Right, because as we'rereframing rest as a part of your
resilience and your power, aswe're reframing rest as not
something that means that youare lazy or not doing enough, we
(14:25):
want to figure out some ways toactually take some steps
towards that, because not sayingimmediately that that shift is
just like bam okay, yes, now myrest is sacred, now my rest is a
priority.
Sometimes you need to take thesmall steps to make the big
impact, and so first thing Iwant you guys to think about is
(14:48):
just honestly checking with yourown beliefs.
Where does your rest story comefrom?
Right?
When you were growing up, whatdid rest look like for you and
your family?
You know what did your parentsor even your friends or your
teachers.
You know what did.
What examples did you have thatbuilt your beliefs about rest
(15:14):
and really just take a second tothink about that, journal it
out and just start remindingyourself just kind of what
habits you may have picked upright, micro rest moments this
is number two, as you'reauditing, like your beliefs and
you're like, okay, yeah, theseare the things that I believe
about rest currently.
(15:35):
How do we start to shift thatright?
Start with micro rest moments.
I just talked about that withthe can even be two minutes
right, taking a quick second totake a deep breath and taking a
second to step outside and justfeel the fresh air, moments of
(15:55):
stillness, moments of not movingand then, even if you can't,
working your way in to naps.
You know we, as parents, wemake sure that our kids get naps
right.
It doesn't end when you're achild.
We also, as adults, we deservemoments of rest and naps.
(16:16):
Do not mean that you're lazy,it just means you're giving
yourself a moment to reset sothat you can continue the day
right, showing up as your bestself.
We all know, you know,especially when we're taking
care of these kids, oftentimesour nights aren't as typical as
(16:37):
you would think, where we'rejust sleeping all the way
through the night, right.
Or maybe you're someone whodoesn't have kids yet and you're
just having trouble sleepingright at night.
How can you still work thosemoments of rest into your day,
taking a deep breath, taking astep outside micro moments, and
y'all?
Protect your rest.
(16:57):
This is number three Protectyour rest.
It is sacred.
Make boundaries with work.
If you have to pop something inyour calendar that says, hey,
this is a 15-minute break, Iknow, oftentimes, when you're
someone who is not on an hourlyyou know payment schedule things
look a little bit different.
(17:17):
You have a little bit morecontrol of your calendar and
that means, yes, you have toschedule your own breaks.
Don't just be sitting thereworking for eight hours and
realizing, man, I'm exhausted.
No, take control of your breaks, of your rest.
Protect it, it is sacred.
And reframe what success andrest looks like for you.
(17:39):
This is number four Includeyour rest as part of the success
equation.
So I know a lot of times wethink of when we finish a task,
when we've reached a goal.
That is success.
Make rest a part of that, evenon a daily, as you're thinking
about your day Wow, look at howmany things I got done.
Add rest into that.
(18:00):
Wow, look at these moments ofrest.
I cultivate it for myself.
Look at these moments of rest Isaid were sacred to me and I
honored and gave myself thatthroughout the day.
And so, as we close today, Ireally just want to remind you
again that rest is not somethingthat you have to earn.
It's not that gold star thatyou get after hustling with hard
(18:25):
work or checking every singlebox on your to-do list for the
day.
Rest is a right, it is apriority, it is sacred.
It is your way of saying toyourself I matter just as much
as the things that I am doing,just as much as I'm doing for
everyone else, just as much asI'm showing up to serve.
(18:48):
It's really saying rest isn'tme stepping back, it's me truly
stepping into my fullest self,because when you realize that we
are not humans on this earthmeant to just work nonstop, you
really start living your life inthe full experience.
(19:10):
Rest is a part of that.
Don't fight it, don't.
And when we start to shift intothat mindset, when you start to
implement those four thingsthat I gave you, I'm going to
remind you of those before weclose today.
But when we shift into that, wehonestly give our bodies the
space to heal and recover.
(19:32):
We give our minds room tobreathe, our minds that carry so
much, our minds that never stopalmost, and we give our
children a look and a new modelof what success really truly
looks like.
Success does not equal burnout.
It does not equal exhaustion.
(19:55):
Success can include ease.
It can include naps.
It can include giving yourselfthe moment to slow down.
So let's talk about those fourthings again I'm going to remind
you of what those were that youcan start implementing these
right.
Audit your beliefs, take amoment and think about what
beliefs you have around.
(20:16):
Rest and just give yourself notwith judgment right.
Give yourself a chance to becurious.
Two, take those micro-restmoments.
Figure out what those mean foryou.
Three, your rest is sacred.
Protect it at all costs orreframe what success looks like
(20:36):
for you, and that meansincluding rest into that
equation.
So if you've been honestlywaiting for that permission to
rest.
This is it.
Here it is.
You don't need to do any morebefore you deserve a moment to
pause.
You are truly worthy of restright now, in this moment, in
this season, exactly as you are,and y'all thank you for
(21:00):
spending this time with me inthis episode.
I truly hope that thisconversation has given you some
things to think about and hasencouraged you to protect your
rest the same way you protectyour dreams, your purpose, your
goals in life, because the truthis, you can't have one without
(21:23):
the other.
You can't have your dreams andyour goals without giving
yourself a moment to pause.
So, if this episode spoke to youtoday, please share with
another ambitious mama who needsto hear this today, that one
that you know is going, going,going and doesn't seem to ever
slow down.
She probably needs to hear thisjust as much as you as well.
(21:45):
And let me know, pop in my DMs,tag me in a story on Instagram.
Let me know how you're going tomake rest a part of your week
this week.
Let me know how you're going tomake the space for that.
Until next time.
Remember that rest isresistance, rest is restoration,
(22:07):
and rest is your birthright,and rest is your birthright.
Thank you so much for listeninglove.
If anything in today's episoderesonated with you, share it
with your bestie or share it onsocial media and tag me so we
can chat about it.
As always, sending you lightand love, and remember you are
(22:28):
worthy, you are enough and youdeserve to thrive.
Hey, love, I'm Ebony and welcome to Thrive Like a
Mother On this podcast.
We're scared for our truth, butthat fear is what fuels us to
truly live in it.
You're in the right place ifyou feel like you're stuck in
survivor mode and you're readyto step into who you were truly
(00:20):
meant to be.
I'll share resources and toolsI use daily to help you in your
journey towards a healthiermindset and to break the wheel
of survival.
The journey may not be easy,but you won't have to face it
alone.
I'm a mama of three, healingday by day from past trauma, and
I'm on a mission to build alife I've always dreamed of but
(00:42):
never thought was possible.
So, love, if you're ready tobelieve in what's possible,
let's link arms and thrivetogether.
Hey, loves, welcome back to theThrive Like a Mother podcast.
(01:03):
I'm so grateful that you arehere with me today.
Y'all, today is a realconversation, y'all.
We're going to chat about rest,and specifically specifically
rest for the ambitious Blackwomen, which is who I am.
I happen to be an ambitiousBlack woman and, honestly, y'all
(01:26):
, for the longest time, I reallygrew up with the belief that
rest was something that I had toearn, that you only got rest
when the hard work was done.
But honestly, if I'm beinghonest, now, being a mother of
three, I have realized that thework is never done.
The to-do list never ends.
There's always another task,always another responsibility,
(01:49):
always someone else who needs usright.
And so for me, that means thatat one point I was constantly
just pouring out, constantlystriving and really only resting
when my body gave out and whenit forced me to, which, as you
(02:11):
can imagine, led to a lot oftimes where, you know, I might
be down for a few days sick, andI started to get curious of
like, ok, this isn't workingexactly the way I think it
should be working.
I don't think my body should becrashing out, so to speak.
And so I've been taking timesince that point in my life you
(02:33):
know my 20s where I was just go,go, go.
Rest is only when the hard workis done, when you are at
capacity.
I've been working to unlearnthat habit and I am realizing
that now rest is not a reward,it's not something that you work
towards, your rest is apriority.
(02:54):
It's not what I get, you know,after I've hustled and I've
worked hard and I feel like,yeah, you know, I've done what I
need to do.
Now I can rest.
No, it's not that.
It's truly what sustains me andwhat honestly keeps me being
able to show up in the capacitythat I want to show up.
(03:16):
I don't want to show up, youknow, to my kids half tired
because I've been working sohard and pouring out to everyone
everything that needs mysupport, that needs me to serve,
and so I want to be able toactually show up as the mom, as
the woman, as the entrepreneurthat I want to be on a daily
(03:38):
basis and because of that, like,rest needed to stop being a
reward and it needed to become apart of just me, just what I do
.
The truth really is, y'all mykids are watching me.
They don't just like hear whatI say they, by the way, they
hear everything, but they reallyare watching how I live, how I
(04:00):
show up on a daily basis, notjust for them, but just in the
world in general.
And I realized that I didn'twant them to grow up thinking
that exhaustion was normal, thatburnout is normal or that their
worth was tied to how much theydo, how much they accomplish.
I wanted them to see rest trulyas a form of strength, as you
(04:24):
know, non-negotiable part oflife.
That is what rest is to me, andso today we're going to talk
about what shifting from rest asa reward to rest as a priority,
what that looks like, whatsteps you can start taking to
reach for that and, honestly,what it meant for me personally.
(04:46):
I want you to start reclaimingyour rest as our priority too,
because, honestly, we alldeserve it.
Not someday I'll get the rest.
You know now is not the season.
No, today is the season.
It's always the season for restright now.
And so I brought up very earlyon in this episode about being
(05:11):
an ambitious Black woman and Ihave learned that, you know,
oftentimes, being in that space,we are expected to carry it all
, to carry everything.
My first kind of interactionwith seeing rest was, honestly,
(05:33):
watching my mom go, go, go sohard.
She was working, she's workingon her degree.
There were times where shewould get home late and then in
our apartment she would beworking on her homework in the
bathroom.
That was her office, and Iremember just wondering like,
wow, she's working really hard,and I love that that was
(05:55):
instilled in me, that habit ofworking hard towards a goal,
towards your purpose towards,you know, walking your path.
I really, really loved that,that was instilled in me, and
now that I am the mom right, themama of three, so, as I say,
like walking in her, in hershoes and in her footsteps I am
(06:19):
learning that I want to dothings a little bit differently
and that I want to, yes, worktowards the path, yes, walk in
my purpose, but I also want rest.
The rest does not come after thework is done, because the work
is never done.
So if the work is never done,when are you going to rest?
(06:41):
When?
When are you going to make thata priority?
I grew up learning, you know,that things like survival and
strength and hustling, thosewere habits and traits that were
glorified, right, that was like, oh man, you've survived so
much, you're so strong, you'reworking so hard.
(07:04):
And while those things arebeautiful, we also have to have
the other side of that, where,yes, I am prioritizing my rest
and I'm a survivor and I'mstrong and I'm able to hustle
because I've taken the priorityof getting my rest, I've taken
the priority of getting my rest.
That is what I know now, right,and so let's chat through what
(07:28):
it means for rest to be apriority rather than a reward.
As far as priority, right, let'sdefine that word.
Priorities in your life, thoseare your non-negotiables, those
are your scheduled things, thoseare sacred, protected moments
in your life.
(07:49):
Those are your priorities,right?
And when you think about that,if you're a mama listening to
this, think about it in the wayas your kid, right.
Spending time with your kid isnot a reward, it's a priority.
We are ecstatic to be able tospend time with them.
It is a non-negotiable to spendtime with them.
(08:10):
We protect that time that wespend with them, and so why
wouldn't we do that for our rest?
Why?
Because when you think of theword reward and we look at that
definition, rewards areconditional, right, only if I've
done this thing.
They are inconsistent, it's notsomething that you get often,
(08:34):
right?
And rewards are something thatcan be easily taken away, and so
you can be talking to yourselfand saying, no, I'm going to
push harder, I'll get the restlater.
That's when we're thinking ofrest as a reward.
And for me, I know, as far asmaking rest a priority, I
(08:56):
brought up that word scheduledright, because now, rest is not
something that I'm workingtowards.
You know, towards the end ofthe week, we think of the
weekend as our rest point.
Now I'm thinking of how can Ibuild rest into every day, every
week, every single moment.
Not just because I work so hardall week, now I can have rest
(09:17):
during the weekend.
No, we need to start thinkingof and this is what I've done in
my life scheduling the restwithin the week.
So, whether that means taking abreak midday to take a walk to,
you know, sit with yourself anddo some breath work, you really
have to define what rest meansfor you.
(09:40):
But make it sacred, schedule it, pop it in your work calendar,
pop it in the family calendar soeveryone also starts seeing
this time for mommy to take timeto read or take a nap or just,
like I said, be with a momentwith yourself.
(10:02):
That shift for me, when Istarted prioritizing rest, when
I started making it somethingthat was sacred, making it
something that was scheduled, Istarted to show up differently,
not only as a mom, but as anentrepreneur, as a friend, as a
wife.
I started to show updifferently.
(10:23):
I started to feel myselfstarting to have a little bit
more capacity to show up in thebest way, in the best version of
myself that I wanted to be inthose areas that I wanted to
pour into and those people thatI wanted to pour into, things
started to look differently andI started to realize, wow, you
(10:45):
know, hustle is good.
I'm not going to say hustle isa bad thing, but hustle plus
rest, that is the magic rightthere.
That is the magic to make surethat not only, yes, I'm working
towards this goal, but I am alsotaking care of me so that I can
show up as the best version ofme.
(11:06):
Y'all, your kids, your kids, arewatching, watching.
They are not just listening,they are watching.
The other day, olivia startedto just notice and see when I
was resting and, honestly, as mykids get older, I get to be a
little bit more vocal with themabout hey, mama is taking a
(11:29):
break right now, you know, andeven offering it up to them Do
you think you want a break rightnow?
If they say no, that's okay,but starting to teach them that
rest is not something that wehave to work towards.
Even with Olivia coming homefrom school after a really long
day, instead of just jumpingstraight into homework, giving
her that opportunity to take amoment and rest her brain before
(11:54):
she starts, you know, tacklingmore tasks.
Those are the things that yourkids, you know.
As they're growing up, they'regoing to start recognizing that
for themselves.
They're going to start learningit early so that when you know
Olivia, jade, henry, when theyare my age, they know that rest
(12:14):
is something that is sacred.
That legacy, that legacy willcontinue to go on.
We're breaking that generationalcycle right that we have to
work hard for our rest.
We are breaking the cycle thatwe have to be exhausted.
If we're not exhausted, we'renot doing it right, and that is
just absolutely not true.
(12:34):
If you are well-rested, if youare working hard, you are doing
it right.
You are doing it right.
You are listening in toyourself within and seeing.
You know what's my capacity.
Do I need to take a break rightnow, or can I show up in the way
(12:57):
that I want to?
You know, I honestly ask myselfthat.
You know, throughout the day,throughout the day, I check in
with self and say where are wefeeling right now?
Can we move on to the next task?
Can we keep pouring into thistask or do we take a second to
breathe?
And I know sometimes, you know,when you're working things can
(13:20):
feel like, or when you're justbeing a mom in general, things
can feel like it's back to backto back.
It's never ending.
You can always always take thatfive minutes heck, two minutes
something to say.
I need to take a deep breathright now.
I am noticing a trend withinmyself that I am working towards
exhaustion, and that is notwhere we want to be.
(13:41):
I want to help us startshifting the perspective of
working.
You know so hard that we feelexhausted by the end of the day.
Feeling tired at the end of theday is normal.
Right, it's normal.
Our bodies need rest, butexhausted every single day
doesn't have to be like that, itdoesn't.
(14:03):
And so I want to get into sometips.
Right, because as we'rereframing rest as a part of your
resilience and your power, aswe're reframing rest as not
something that means that youare lazy or not doing enough, we
(14:25):
want to figure out some ways toactually take some steps
towards that, because not sayingimmediately that that shift is
just like bam okay, yes, now myrest is sacred, now my rest is a
priority.
Sometimes you need to take thesmall steps to make the big
impact, and so first thing Iwant you guys to think about is
(14:48):
just honestly checking with yourown beliefs.
Where does your rest story comefrom?
Right?
When you were growing up, whatdid rest look like for you and
your family?
You know what did your parentsor even your friends or your
teachers.
You know what did.
What examples did you have thatbuilt your beliefs about rest
(15:14):
and really just take a second tothink about that, journal it
out and just start remindingyourself just kind of what
habits you may have picked upright, micro rest moments this
is number two, as you'reauditing, like your beliefs and
you're like, okay, yeah, theseare the things that I believe
about rest currently.
(15:35):
How do we start to shift thatright?
Start with micro rest moments.
I just talked about that withthe can even be two minutes
right, taking a quick second totake a deep breath and taking a
second to step outside and justfeel the fresh air, moments of
(15:55):
stillness, moments of not movingand then, even if you can't,
working your way in to naps.
You know we, as parents, wemake sure that our kids get naps
right.
It doesn't end when you're achild.
We also, as adults, we deservemoments of rest and naps.
(16:16):
Do not mean that you're lazy,it just means you're giving
yourself a moment to reset sothat you can continue the day
right, showing up as your bestself.
We all know, you know,especially when we're taking
care of these kids, oftentimesour nights aren't as typical as
(16:37):
you would think, where we'rejust sleeping all the way
through the night, right.
Or maybe you're someone whodoesn't have kids yet and you're
just having trouble sleepingright at night.
How can you still work thosemoments of rest into your day,
taking a deep breath, taking astep outside micro moments, and
y'all?
Protect your rest.
(16:57):
This is number three Protectyour rest.
It is sacred.
Make boundaries with work.
If you have to pop something inyour calendar that says, hey,
this is a 15-minute break, Iknow, oftentimes, when you're
someone who is not on an hourlyyou know payment schedule things
look a little bit different.
(17:17):
You have a little bit morecontrol of your calendar and
that means, yes, you have toschedule your own breaks.
Don't just be sitting thereworking for eight hours and
realizing, man, I'm exhausted.
No, take control of your breaks, of your rest.
Protect it, it is sacred.
And reframe what success andrest looks like for you.
(17:39):
This is number four Includeyour rest as part of the success
equation.
So I know a lot of times wethink of when we finish a task,
when we've reached a goal.
That is success.
Make rest a part of that, evenon a daily, as you're thinking
about your day Wow, look at howmany things I got done.
Add rest into that.
(18:00):
Wow, look at these moments ofrest.
I cultivate it for myself.
Look at these moments of rest Isaid were sacred to me and I
honored and gave myself thatthroughout the day.
And so, as we close today, Ireally just want to remind you
again that rest is not somethingthat you have to earn.
It's not that gold star thatyou get after hustling with hard
(18:25):
work or checking every singlebox on your to-do list for the
day.
Rest is a right, it is apriority, it is sacred.
It is your way of saying toyourself I matter just as much
as the things that I am doing,just as much as I'm doing for
everyone else, just as much asI'm showing up to serve.
(18:48):
It's really saying rest isn'tme stepping back, it's me truly
stepping into my fullest self,because when you realize that we
are not humans on this earthmeant to just work nonstop, you
really start living your life inthe full experience.
(19:10):
Rest is a part of that.
Don't fight it, don't.
And when we start to shift intothat mindset, when you start to
implement those four thingsthat I gave you, I'm going to
remind you of those before weclose today.
But when we shift into that, wehonestly give our bodies the
space to heal and recover.
(19:32):
We give our minds room tobreathe, our minds that carry so
much, our minds that never stopalmost, and we give our
children a look and a new modelof what success really truly
looks like.
Success does not equal burnout.
It does not equal exhaustion.
(19:55):
Success can include ease.
It can include naps.
It can include giving yourselfthe moment to slow down.
So let's talk about those fourthings again I'm going to remind
you of what those were that youcan start implementing these
right.
Audit your beliefs, take amoment and think about what
beliefs you have around.
(20:16):
Rest and just give yourself notwith judgment right.
Give yourself a chance to becurious.
Two, take those micro-restmoments.
Figure out what those mean foryou.
Three, your rest is sacred.
Protect it at all costs orreframe what success looks like
(20:36):
for you, and that meansincluding rest into that
equation.
So if you've been honestlywaiting for that permission to
rest.
This is it.
Here it is.
You don't need to do any morebefore you deserve a moment to
pause.
You are truly worthy of restright now, in this moment, in
this season, exactly as you are,and y'all thank you for
(21:00):
spending this time with me inthis episode.
I truly hope that thisconversation has given you some
things to think about and hasencouraged you to protect your
rest the same way you protectyour dreams, your purpose, your
goals in life, because the truthis, you can't have one without
(21:23):
the other.
You can't have your dreams andyour goals without giving
yourself a moment to pause.
So, if this episode spoke to youtoday, please share with
another ambitious mama who needsto hear this today, that one
that you know is going, going,going and doesn't seem to ever
slow down.
She probably needs to hear thisjust as much as you as well.
(21:45):
And let me know, pop in my DMs,tag me in a story on Instagram.
Let me know how you're going tomake rest a part of your week
this week.
Let me know how you're going tomake the space for that.
Until next time.
Remember that rest isresistance, rest is restoration,
(22:07):
and rest is your birthright,and rest is your birthright.
Thank you so much for listeninglove.
If anything in today's episoderesonated with you, share it
with your bestie or share it onsocial media and tag me so we
can chat about it.
As always, sending you lightand love, and remember you are
(22:28):
worthy, you are enough and youdeserve to thrive.
Popular Podcasts
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.