Sincerely, a perfectionist in healing

A conversation about a family photo wall led to one of those unexpected moments of clarity that only children can provide. My 6 year old daughter, staring at a professional photograph from daycare years, wished we could return to our "old house" where the toys looked so perfectly arranged. The truth? That perfection was merely a photographer's backdrop – a manufactured image that existed for just a moment before reality resumed.

It sparked a revelation in me about how we often chase perfection at the expense of actually living our lives. We see the pristine homes on social media, the perfect family portraits, the organized playrooms – and we wish our reality matched that impossible standard. But behind most perfect images is either an elaborate staging or someone working constantly behind the scenes, sacrificing precious moments of actually living to maintain an appearance.

As a self-proclaimed "perfectionist in healing," I've spent too many years chasing an unattainable ideal, especially as a mother of three. What I'm learning now in my 30's is that perfection demands a steep price. When we prioritize how our lives look over how they feel, we miss the beautiful chaos of real living. This doesn't mean abandoning all organization; rather, it means finding a flow and giving ourselves grace because life in itself is imperfect.

If this resonates with you, share it with someone who might need this reminder today. You are worthy, you are enough, and your messy, joy-filled life deserves to be lived, not just arranged for display.

Thank you so much for listening in! If this episode spoke to you, it would mean the world to me if you left a review or shared it with a friend. And don’t forget to tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me spread the word.

Follow and chat with me on Instagram:

Podcast account - @thrivelikeamother.podcast

Personal account - @thrive.empowered

Sending you light and love always!

Episode Transcript

Ebony Fleming (00:00):
Hey, love, I'm Ebony and welcome to Thrive Like
a Mother On this podcast.
We're scared for our truth, butthat fear is what fuels us to
truly live in it.
You're in the right place ifyou feel like you're stuck in
survivor mode and you're readyto step into who you were truly

(00:20):
meant to be.
I'll share resources and toolsI use daily to help you in your
journey towards a healthiermindset and to break the wheel
of survival.
The journey may not be easy,but you won't have to face it
alone.
I'm a mama of three, healingday by day from past trauma, and
I'm on a mission to build alife I've always dreamed of but

(00:42):
never thought was possible.
So, love, if you're ready tobelieve in what's possible,
let's link arms and thrivetogether.
Hey, loves, and welcome toanother episode of Thrive Like a
Mother.
So I want to take y'all into theworld of the conversations

(01:05):
between my daughter and I.
When they, as they get to startto get older, I'm realizing our
conversations start to becomemore and more fun and we talk
about just things in the worldand I swear, every once in a
while she says something,something that gives me like a
revelation.
So the other day, liv and I.

(01:28):
We were looking at pictures onthe wall.
We have a little photo wall inour house and it was one of the
pictures back when her and hersister were in the same daycare.
They were a little bit closerand I don't think Liv had
started school yet.
And she's looking at thispicture and she said I wish we
could go back to our old houseand I'm like what is she talking

(01:50):
about?
We don't have any pictures ofour old house on the wall and so
I'm wondering why she said that.
And I asked her.
I always ask your kidsquestions, y'all Ask the
follow-ups but her response shewas pointing to this picture of
her and Jade and she was likelook how nice those toys are
right there.
And I was like, okay, first ofall I had to explain to her that

(02:20):
the toys in the photo were froma backdrop, and then I had to
explain also number two that foranything to even look close to
the way that photo was lookingsomeone had to put it that way
Someone had to be in the backcleaning up all those toys all
the time.
And even then absoluteperfection was not going to be
possible, because we're just ina season right now, especially

(02:41):
if you have kids who are six andunder, where we like to play
with our toys but we don'tnecessarily like the part of
putting them away.
And so I start to see thesewheels in her mind like turning,
processing, trying tounderstand everything that I
said.
And then my wheels startedturning right.

(03:01):
Like I said, every once in a,your kids will give you
something that gives you anepiphany, and you're like whoa,
okay, this can relate to otherthings in my life or someone
else's life, and so it can be soeasy sometimes to look at a
photo or a representation ofsomeone else's life and to think

(03:21):
you know, look at thatperfection.
I wish that I had that, but inreality, would we really want
that?
That kind of perfection to mefeels like more work putting
into looking like the perfectlife instead of actually taking
the time to live in it.
So the point of today's episodeand this is a short one the

(03:45):
point of today's episode is tonot say to never clean up right.
It's not to say don't spend yourlife making.
It's basically to say don'tspend your life making sure
everything is pristine, that youforget to live Sincerely, a
perfectionist and healing.
Thank you so much for listeninglove.

(04:06):
If anything in today's episoderesonated with you, share it
with your bestie or share it onsocial media and tag me so we
can chat about it, as always,sending you light and love, and
remember you are worthy, you areenough and you deserve to
thrive.