May 20, 2025 • 24 mins
Feeling like you need to perfectly balance work, motherhood, and self-care is an impossible standard that's setting you up for burnout. After keeping my youngest son home with me for his entire first year while working full-time, I discovered a liberating truth: there is no balance—only flow.
This episode dives deep into how to release the pressure of "doing it all" perfectly and instead embrace the natural rhythm of your life in its current season. When I realized I was constantly focusing on what didn't get done instead of celebrating daily wins, I knew something needed to change. The key wasn't finding some magical equilibrium, but rather setting intentional boundaries, taking genuine breaks (not for chores!), and nourishing my body properly to sustain energy throughout demanding days.
You'll learn practical strategies:
- for creating boundaries with work hours and technology use
- how to incorporate true mental palate cleansers into your day
- Why protecting your peace is actually the most productive thing you can do
Remember that your little ones are watching how you care for yourself—you're modeling what self-respect looks like. You are not lazy for needing rest, you're not unprofessional if your baby joins a Zoom call, and you absolutely do not need to earn your breaks by completing tasks. The permission to thrive is already yours.
And if you are needing support in the nourishment area, I've got you! The second round of Cook Like a Mother starts June 2nd and you can lock in your spot with this exclusive early bird price.
Thank you so much for listening in! If anything in this episode resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you left a review or shared it with a friend or on social media.
And don't forget to tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me get the word out.
Follow and chat with me on Instagram:
Podcast account - @thrivelikeamother.podcast
Personal account - @thrive.empowered
Sending you light and love always!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, love, I'm Ebony and welcome to Thrive Like a
Mother On this podcast.
We're scared for our truth, butthat fear is what fuels us to
truly live in it.
You're in the right place ifyou feel like you're stuck in
survivor mode and you're readyto step into who you were truly
(00:20):
meant to be.
I'll share resources and toolsI use daily to help you in your
journey towards a healthiermindset and to break the wheel
of survival.
The journey may not be easy,but you won't have to face it
alone.
I'm a mama of three, healingday by day from past trauma, and
I'm on a mission to build alife I've always dreamed of but
(00:42):
never thought was possible.
So, love, if you're ready tobelieve in what's possible,
let's link arms and thrivetogether.
Hey, loves, welcome to anotherepisode of the Thrive Like a
Mother podcast.
Let's have a chat real quickbefore we dig into the episode.
(01:03):
Y'all, this week has been thefirst week that our youngest
Henry is in daycare full-time,and so what that looks like for
me is I'm trying, trying my bestto find what my new workflow is
again, and that's really thetopic of today's episode.
(01:25):
Is really understanding, likewhat that means when you are
working from home full time,maybe with a little one, maybe
not with a little one, but justreally trying to figure out what
that looks like for you andwhat the reality of flow is all
about.
Right, because we hear so muchabout, oh, you've got to find
(01:47):
your your work-life balance, andwe're gonna dig into that a
little bit today.
So we are talking about thatillusion of work-life balance
y'all Because, honestly, thereis no balance.
There is no balance, there isonly the flow, and it's a flow
(02:08):
that you shape by setting yourboundaries, getting crystal
clear on what rest looks likefor you and what nourishment
looks like for you and yourlittle one that you're keeping
at home home.
(02:34):
So, about three months or a fewweeks into having Henry, I knew
that we wanted to keep him homea little bit longer than just
those those three months ofmaternity leave, and I honestly
all set a goal for six months tostart with, and that ended up
becoming a lot longer.
I ended up having him home withus for the entire first year,
(02:55):
and that decision was basedpurely on this being our last
little one, being my kind offinal opportunity to really
spend that quality time with mybaby throughout the day, no
matter what it looks like, itmeant for me saying, hey, yes,
(03:18):
I've got to go back to work, yes, bills need to be paid, but I
still want to spend time with mybaby and really gain that
bonding time with them and watchthem truly, truly grow up in
every sense of the word.
And it wasn't easy, wasn't easyy'all.
There was definitely a big um,emotional, physical, mental
(03:42):
strain on myself, my husband,who also works from home with us
.
A lot of times it was us,especially as he got older, as
kind of juggling who was takinga look after him during meetings
and things, especially with mebreastfeeding.
That added a whole notherelement to things.
(04:06):
If you are a breastfeeding mama, you know how already that can
be emotionally, physically andmentally just a challenge.
And so when you add in trying toalso work from home full time,
trying to also still pour intomy business, still pour into the
podcast, things looked muchdifferent and I very quickly
(04:28):
realized that, no, this wasn'tgoing to be easy, but it could
be done.
I just had to set the rightintentions.
And maybe that's you right now,maybe you are about to have a
little one, or maybe you have alittle one now and you're in
maternity leave and you'rewondering what that looks like,
(04:51):
as far as could you keep themhome a little bit longer instead
of jumping right back into work, especially if you have the
option from working of workingfrom home.
Um, for me it.
I took that opportunity and Isaid, hey, this opportunity does
not come along often y'all Ihave.
(05:13):
I have three little ones, and so, for my oldest did not even get
a chance to think about workingfrom home with her, it things
looked a lot differently.
In fact, I had to go back towork three weeks after having
her, so not even a full sixweeks.
(05:34):
And, granted, I had a C-section, but I had to get back to work,
did not have the leave, did nothave the PTO, and we had to
feed our family, had to pay thebills, and so I did what needed
to be done, but I lost theopportunity of being able to
spend that time with her forthat first year.
(05:57):
Now, granted, like I still madesure I made intentions to spend
time with my kids I'm notsaying that but the opportunity
is not always there for us asmoms, to like have them with us
while we're, you know, rejoiningthe workforce.
Um, with my second daughterkind of same thing.
(06:18):
I didn't have the opportunityto keep her home.
I think at that point when I hadher um, I think it was like
right around the time she wasour COVID baby, so it was right
around the time that the likestrictness of things were
(06:42):
starting just starting to lift,still a little bit shaky.
So I did get a little bit moretime with her at home, but still
it was tough.
It was tough, I think, for meand my mind.
I didn't see another way.
At that point it was like, oh,this is just what you're
supposed to do.
(07:03):
And so when Henry came and itwas like this is just what
you're supposed to do.
And so when Henry came and itwas like this is our last little
one, I gave myself theopportunity to to see things
differently, to see how can thiswork, how can we even approach
this?
Um, there's this pressure y'all.
There's this pressure y'all.
There's this pressure thathappens to need to do it all,
(07:26):
especially when you are, like Isaid, working from home.
You have the baby, you have afuture that you're trying to
build.
Maybe you're also a mama that'sbuilding a business and pouring
into, into other things andalso needing to, at the same
time, pour into yourself.
There's so much pressure tolook at the list that you have
(07:51):
on day to day and feel like gosh, there's so much to do.
And there was the turning pointfor me when I started to quickly
head towards burnout.
I started to get to the end ofmy day and, instead of being
(08:12):
grateful for what I had achievedthat day, I started to look at
the things that I didn't getdone and the things that were
rolling over into the next day.
And that's when I realized thatthere was no perfect balance.
There was no work-life babybalance.
Can you even imagine trying tobalance all of those things?
Like, physically, there is nobalance y'all.
(08:34):
There's just a rhythm, there'sa flow and, honestly, having him
here taught me that that canshift from day to day.
So if you're a mama who'sfeeling like you're constantly
dropping the ball, you'regetting to the end of your day,
you're looking at your list andyou're like man, I didn't get
quite done the things that Ithought that I would.
(08:56):
You're not alone.
You're not alone and, honestly,it's okay.
You just need to find what yourrhythm looks like.
For me, it meant slimming downmy priorities a little bit um,
if you notice, while he was here, um with the podcast, I wasn't
(09:18):
putting out episodes weeklybecause Because I realized that
that was going to be animpossible task for the season
that I was in.
Sometimes you need to, like Isaid, shift things on the daily,
but also sometimes things shiftfor the season that you're in.
(09:39):
Sometimes the season is not theright season to be putting out
weekly episodes, to be buildinga business as aggressively as
you might have in the past,before the little ones were
there, and that's okay.
So I want to give you aboutthree things that are going to
(10:00):
help you find your flow, becauseit's all about throwing away
this idea that things have to bebalanced, that you have to be
putting the same amount ofeffort into each pot, and it's
all about seriously finding whatyour flow means day to day for
your season, for the age thatyour children are at, for what
(10:20):
your priorities are in thismoment.
First of all, you're going toset your boundaries where you
can.
That means with your work hoursbeing really strict, as in
saying these are the hours thatI'm going to be available After
or before these hours.
We're not doing it.
(10:42):
Let's talk about um, that canbe.
That can be kind of scarysometimes, but I promise you, um
, your coworkers, and, like yourmanagers, they're going to
understand that boundary because, honestly, a lot of us need to
set that boundary.
We are not workhorses, y'all,we're not.
We need to be really strict onsaying this is what I have the
(11:08):
capacity to do and you need tothink about that for, like I
said, the season that you're in,the priorities that you have,
let's talk about phones, phoneusage.
Set your boundaries where youcan.
There was an episode that I putout in my very first season
talking just about this, aboutsetting up my phone to create,
(11:32):
like these boundaries for myselfas far as getting on social
media or as far as making sureit goes into do not disturb mode
.
Besides, for certain peoplethat need to reach me at a
certain time of the night sothat I wasn't like spending
(11:52):
hours and hours scrolling andabsorbing information.
Get crystal clear on what thatlooks like for you and I know
that can be tough, especiallywhen you're building a business
and a part of that is yoursocial media presence.
Still, get some boundaries onif you need to set a timer and
say, hey, this is the amount oftime that I'm gonna be on this
(12:15):
or an application to eitherengage or post or respond um to
people.
Do that Also.
Know when to stop checking youremail.
Your email does not necessarilyneed to be the first thing you
check in the morning.
If that works for you, okay.
(12:35):
But when you are checkingemails I'm going to build this
out a little bit more checkingemails, checking notifications,
within a certain amount of timeor after a certain amount of
time, you have to think aboutthe way that your brain works.
Right, if you are checking thatnotification, checking that
(12:57):
email, you are telling yourbrain, hey, we are still in
urgency mode, we are still inrespond mode, and it keeps your
brain going.
It keeps your brain going when,really, what you want to do is
to cut the day off right thereand say, hey, this is something
(13:18):
that I can respond to tomorrow,this is something that I can
look at tomorrow, so go aheadand set those boundaries.
Those are just some examples ofwhere you can start to build in
intentional breaks, y'all, andI'm not talking about a break to
put the laundry in or a breakto clean up the living room or
(13:42):
anything like that.
This is not for chores,anything like that.
This is not for chores, this isnot for scrolling mindlessly,
this is for you.
This is for you to reconnectand gain some clarity and get
some focus and just be within.
So I'm talking a break, as ineither taking a short walk,
(14:03):
taking a moment to take someintentional, deep breaths,
having a cup of tea or a cup ofcoffee you know whichever warm
drink that you like, getting asip of water, and doing
literally absolutely nothing atall, allowing your brain to not
have to think about anything Atrue break.
This was a game changer for me,because I am someone who I
(14:29):
realized, can quickly just keepgoing through the list and,
before I know it, I'm tired, I'mlike, oh man, I can't do
another thing.
The breaks allow you to takeyour day at a slower pace so
that you're not rushing throughthat list, but you are
(14:51):
intentionally giving thecapacity you need to give for
each task and knowing that, hey,I still have capacity, maybe to
do a little bit more, or I havecapacity to take a break.
It gives you.
It gives you a moment, kind oflike.
It's kind of like your I'mtrying to think when you're,
(15:14):
when you're eating, like sushi,right, and they give you the
radish.
Your breaks are your palatecleanser.
It's your time to just cleareverything out, not need to
think of anything, not need todo anything.
It's your moment just to comeback to self Number three y'all
(15:37):
know I will stand on this hillfor absolutely ever.
You have to focus on yournutrition.
You have to focus on how you'renourishing your body, what
you're putting in your body andyour baby's body right as they
start eating.
You have to focus on what isgoing to help you and your baby
(15:58):
feel good.
Think about what foods aregoing to help you get through
the day.
Make sure you're drinking yourwater, check in with yourself
throughout the day, and you'regoing to basically say something
like this like hey, we're notthriving in chaos.
We are both flowing back, youand your baby when we are fed,
(16:23):
rested and connected Fed, rested, connected when those three
things are happening, we aretruly, truly thriving.
And so take a moment to reallythink about the things that
you're feeding yourself.
Are they giving you energy?
Are they making you sleepy?
(16:44):
If they're making you sleepy,maybe we need to switch up the
things that we're eating.
Baby feels like you know,they're snacking all day.
Is there something that you cangive them that really nourishes
their body and helps them feelfull and like they can really
(17:05):
use all the energy that theyhave right, start to think about
those things and if you needmore support in that and if you
need more support in that, I dohave Cook Like a Mother the
second round, where I supportyou in figuring out what those
(17:27):
types of meal plans look like,what your goals are.
How can you start to build thehabit not only to plan for foods
that nourish your body, butalso how can you make those
achievable so that you'reprepping them and you're
actually eating them throughoutthe week and you're enjoying
them?
So if you want more support inthat, I will put a link, um, in
(17:49):
the show notes so that you canget early exclusive pricing for
that, because we are kicking offwith that round June 2nd and I
don't want you to miss thatsupport.
All right, y'all, I'm talking tothe mama, um, who's listening
right now.
I want to say some things thatmaybe you might need to hear in
(18:18):
this season.
These are things that I toldmyself in the season of Henry
being home and the season ofthat first year postpartum, of
recovery.
First of all, mama, you are notlazy for needing rest.
I don't care that there'sdishes in the sink, I don't care
(18:39):
, there's toys everywhere.
And maybe you're like this ismy job, sure, yes, that's a part
of motherhood.
Right is taking care of thehome, taking care of the things.
But if you need rest, I promiseyou, if you start prioritizing
that all of those other things,they will happen.
(19:02):
They will, because you'll havethe energy to get them done and
you won't be running on empty.
Also, this is a big one becausefor this entire year that Henry
was here, I felt soself-conscious y'all.
Um, if you watch me on socialmedia Instagram you know that
(19:27):
Henry and I, we used to be stucktogether like glue y'all.
When I say he used to be in thebaby wrap on my lap, um,
especially in those early dayswhen he was napping on the zoom
call, on the team's call at work.
And you are not doing it wrongif your baby is with you while
(19:50):
you're in a working meeting.
You're not, and so I don't want, I want you to pull away from
that self-consciousness of oh mygosh, what are they gonna think
if I have a baby?
First of all, everybody's gonnabe like, oh my gosh, so cute,
cute baby, and those who don'tget it will hopefully just stay
quiet.
And if they're not quiet, don'tlet that be a representation of
(20:14):
who you are as a mom.
You are doing exactly what youneed to do for you and your baby
.
You are where you exactly needto be at this point in time.
You're not doing it wrong.
You're doing it your way forwhat works for you and your
family.
(20:40):
All right, and this, this oney'all you do not have to earn
rest.
That is one that took me awhile to understand is like oh
okay, I've done so.
You know this much of my list.
Now I can take a break.
No, you already deserve thebreak.
You already deserve the rest.
Take it, claim it.
(21:06):
It's yours already.
You don't have to work harderto get that rest.
You deserve it every single day.
So I want to end this episode,first of all, with some
permission slips and remindersfor you to take into your week
now.
Take into the next week andreally start implementing these
y'all.
Number one it's okay to pause atask if it starts feeling
(21:31):
overwhelming, if you startfeeling like this is not
productive I am not in a spacewhere I can be productive in
this task, it's okay to pause.
Second ask for help.
It's okay.
If you can't do all yourself,you're not meant to ask for the
help.
(21:52):
And then, number three protectyour peace.
And then number three protectyour peace, protect your peace.
Even if you are looking at itin that way and you're thinking,
oh, this doesn't look or feelproductive.
If you are protecting yourpeace, it is productive because
it's going towards taking careof you, taking care of your baby
(22:13):
.
Your little one is watching youtoo.
Y'all they are taking a look athow you take care of yourself.
They are getting an example ofwhat things will look like for
them in the future.
You are telling them that it'sokay to not work like over
course and to really protectyour boundaries, protect your
(22:36):
peace and shout those like, sothat everyone knows that this is
who I am and that they start tounderstand.
And so y'all, I'm gonna say itagain there is no work life
balance.
There is no balance, it's onlythe flow.
And the more that you honoryour needs, your baby's needs,
(23:00):
the easier it's going to becometo move through the day with
grace for yourself instead ofputting so much unnecessary
pressure on yourself.
You don't have to balancethings, you just have to go with
what feels right within you,because you already know what
(23:23):
that is.
I want to encourage you to sendme a DM on Instagram and let me
know how it's been going for youas you start implementing these
tools and finding your flow inthe season that you're in right
now.
I want to hear all the things.
(23:45):
I want to be able to supportyou guys, and I can't wait to
see you on the next episode.
Thank you so much for listening.
Love.
If anything in today's episoderesonated with you, share it
with your bestie or share it onsocial media and tag me so we
can chat about it.
As always, sending you lightand love, and remember you are
(24:07):
worthy, you are enough and youdeserve to thrive.
You.
Hey, love, I'm Ebony and welcome to Thrive Like a
Mother On this podcast.
We're scared for our truth, butthat fear is what fuels us to
truly live in it.
You're in the right place ifyou feel like you're stuck in
survivor mode and you're readyto step into who you were truly
(00:20):
meant to be.
I'll share resources and toolsI use daily to help you in your
journey towards a healthiermindset and to break the wheel
of survival.
The journey may not be easy,but you won't have to face it
alone.
I'm a mama of three, healingday by day from past trauma, and
I'm on a mission to build alife I've always dreamed of but
(00:42):
never thought was possible.
So, love, if you're ready tobelieve in what's possible,
let's link arms and thrivetogether.
Hey, loves, welcome to anotherepisode of the Thrive Like a
Mother podcast.
Let's have a chat real quickbefore we dig into the episode.
(01:03):
Y'all, this week has been thefirst week that our youngest
Henry is in daycare full-time,and so what that looks like for
me is I'm trying, trying my bestto find what my new workflow is
again, and that's really thetopic of today's episode.
(01:25):
Is really understanding, likewhat that means when you are
working from home full time,maybe with a little one, maybe
not with a little one, but justreally trying to figure out what
that looks like for you andwhat the reality of flow is all
about.
Right, because we hear so muchabout, oh, you've got to find
(01:47):
your your work-life balance, andwe're gonna dig into that a
little bit today.
So we are talking about thatillusion of work-life balance
y'all Because, honestly, thereis no balance.
There is no balance, there isonly the flow, and it's a flow
(02:08):
that you shape by setting yourboundaries, getting crystal
clear on what rest looks likefor you and what nourishment
looks like for you and yourlittle one that you're keeping
at home home.
(02:34):
So, about three months or a fewweeks into having Henry, I knew
that we wanted to keep him homea little bit longer than just
those those three months ofmaternity leave, and I honestly
all set a goal for six months tostart with, and that ended up
becoming a lot longer.
I ended up having him home withus for the entire first year,
(02:55):
and that decision was basedpurely on this being our last
little one, being my kind offinal opportunity to really
spend that quality time with mybaby throughout the day, no
matter what it looks like, itmeant for me saying, hey, yes,
(03:18):
I've got to go back to work, yes, bills need to be paid, but I
still want to spend time with mybaby and really gain that
bonding time with them and watchthem truly, truly grow up in
every sense of the word.
And it wasn't easy, wasn't easyy'all.
There was definitely a big um,emotional, physical, mental
(03:42):
strain on myself, my husband,who also works from home with us
.
A lot of times it was us,especially as he got older, as
kind of juggling who was takinga look after him during meetings
and things, especially with mebreastfeeding.
That added a whole notherelement to things.
(04:06):
If you are a breastfeeding mama, you know how already that can
be emotionally, physically andmentally just a challenge.
And so when you add in trying toalso work from home full time,
trying to also still pour intomy business, still pour into the
podcast, things looked muchdifferent and I very quickly
(04:28):
realized that, no, this wasn'tgoing to be easy, but it could
be done.
I just had to set the rightintentions.
And maybe that's you right now,maybe you are about to have a
little one, or maybe you have alittle one now and you're in
maternity leave and you'rewondering what that looks like,
(04:51):
as far as could you keep themhome a little bit longer instead
of jumping right back into work, especially if you have the
option from working of workingfrom home.
Um, for me it.
I took that opportunity and Isaid, hey, this opportunity does
not come along often y'all Ihave.
(05:13):
I have three little ones, and so, for my oldest did not even get
a chance to think about workingfrom home with her, it things
looked a lot differently.
In fact, I had to go back towork three weeks after having
her, so not even a full sixweeks.
(05:34):
And, granted, I had a C-section, but I had to get back to work,
did not have the leave, did nothave the PTO, and we had to
feed our family, had to pay thebills, and so I did what needed
to be done, but I lost theopportunity of being able to
spend that time with her forthat first year.
(05:57):
Now, granted, like I still madesure I made intentions to spend
time with my kids I'm notsaying that but the opportunity
is not always there for us asmoms, to like have them with us
while we're, you know, rejoiningthe workforce.
Um, with my second daughterkind of same thing.
(06:18):
I didn't have the opportunityto keep her home.
I think at that point when I hadher um, I think it was like
right around the time she wasour COVID baby, so it was right
around the time that the likestrictness of things were
(06:42):
starting just starting to lift,still a little bit shaky.
So I did get a little bit moretime with her at home, but still
it was tough.
It was tough, I think, for meand my mind.
I didn't see another way.
At that point it was like, oh,this is just what you're
supposed to do.
(07:03):
And so when Henry came and itwas like this is just what
you're supposed to do.
And so when Henry came and itwas like this is our last little
one, I gave myself theopportunity to to see things
differently, to see how can thiswork, how can we even approach
this?
Um, there's this pressure y'all.
There's this pressure y'all.
There's this pressure thathappens to need to do it all,
(07:26):
especially when you are, like Isaid, working from home.
You have the baby, you have afuture that you're trying to
build.
Maybe you're also a mama that'sbuilding a business and pouring
into, into other things andalso needing to, at the same
time, pour into yourself.
There's so much pressure tolook at the list that you have
(07:51):
on day to day and feel like gosh, there's so much to do.
And there was the turning pointfor me when I started to quickly
head towards burnout.
I started to get to the end ofmy day and, instead of being
(08:12):
grateful for what I had achievedthat day, I started to look at
the things that I didn't getdone and the things that were
rolling over into the next day.
And that's when I realized thatthere was no perfect balance.
There was no work-life babybalance.
Can you even imagine trying tobalance all of those things?
Like, physically, there is nobalance y'all.
(08:34):
There's just a rhythm, there'sa flow and, honestly, having him
here taught me that that canshift from day to day.
So if you're a mama who'sfeeling like you're constantly
dropping the ball, you'regetting to the end of your day,
you're looking at your list andyou're like man, I didn't get
quite done the things that Ithought that I would.
(08:56):
You're not alone.
You're not alone and, honestly,it's okay.
You just need to find what yourrhythm looks like.
For me, it meant slimming downmy priorities a little bit um,
if you notice, while he was here, um with the podcast, I wasn't
(09:18):
putting out episodes weeklybecause Because I realized that
that was going to be animpossible task for the season
that I was in.
Sometimes you need to, like Isaid, shift things on the daily,
but also sometimes things shiftfor the season that you're in.
(09:39):
Sometimes the season is not theright season to be putting out
weekly episodes, to be buildinga business as aggressively as
you might have in the past,before the little ones were
there, and that's okay.
So I want to give you aboutthree things that are going to
(10:00):
help you find your flow, becauseit's all about throwing away
this idea that things have to bebalanced, that you have to be
putting the same amount ofeffort into each pot, and it's
all about seriously finding whatyour flow means day to day for
your season, for the age thatyour children are at, for what
(10:20):
your priorities are in thismoment.
First of all, you're going toset your boundaries where you
can.
That means with your work hoursbeing really strict, as in
saying these are the hours thatI'm going to be available After
or before these hours.
We're not doing it.
(10:42):
Let's talk about um, that canbe.
That can be kind of scarysometimes, but I promise you, um
, your coworkers, and, like yourmanagers, they're going to
understand that boundary because, honestly, a lot of us need to
set that boundary.
We are not workhorses, y'all,we're not.
We need to be really strict onsaying this is what I have the
(11:08):
capacity to do and you need tothink about that for, like I
said, the season that you're in,the priorities that you have,
let's talk about phones, phoneusage.
Set your boundaries where youcan.
There was an episode that I putout in my very first season
talking just about this, aboutsetting up my phone to create,
(11:32):
like these boundaries for myselfas far as getting on social
media or as far as making sureit goes into do not disturb mode
.
Besides, for certain peoplethat need to reach me at a
certain time of the night sothat I wasn't like spending
(11:52):
hours and hours scrolling andabsorbing information.
Get crystal clear on what thatlooks like for you and I know
that can be tough, especiallywhen you're building a business
and a part of that is yoursocial media presence.
Still, get some boundaries onif you need to set a timer and
say, hey, this is the amount oftime that I'm gonna be on this
(12:15):
or an application to eitherengage or post or respond um to
people.
Do that Also.
Know when to stop checking youremail.
Your email does not necessarilyneed to be the first thing you
check in the morning.
If that works for you, okay.
(12:35):
But when you are checkingemails I'm going to build this
out a little bit more checkingemails, checking notifications,
within a certain amount of timeor after a certain amount of
time, you have to think aboutthe way that your brain works.
Right, if you are checking thatnotification, checking that
(12:57):
email, you are telling yourbrain, hey, we are still in
urgency mode, we are still inrespond mode, and it keeps your
brain going.
It keeps your brain going when,really, what you want to do is
to cut the day off right thereand say, hey, this is something
(13:18):
that I can respond to tomorrow,this is something that I can
look at tomorrow, so go aheadand set those boundaries.
Those are just some examples ofwhere you can start to build in
intentional breaks, y'all, andI'm not talking about a break to
put the laundry in or a breakto clean up the living room or
(13:42):
anything like that.
This is not for chores,anything like that.
This is not for chores, this isnot for scrolling mindlessly,
this is for you.
This is for you to reconnectand gain some clarity and get
some focus and just be within.
So I'm talking a break, as ineither taking a short walk,
(14:03):
taking a moment to take someintentional, deep breaths,
having a cup of tea or a cup ofcoffee you know whichever warm
drink that you like, getting asip of water, and doing
literally absolutely nothing atall, allowing your brain to not
have to think about anything Atrue break.
This was a game changer for me,because I am someone who I
(14:29):
realized, can quickly just keepgoing through the list and,
before I know it, I'm tired, I'mlike, oh man, I can't do
another thing.
The breaks allow you to takeyour day at a slower pace so
that you're not rushing throughthat list, but you are
(14:51):
intentionally giving thecapacity you need to give for
each task and knowing that, hey,I still have capacity, maybe to
do a little bit more, or I havecapacity to take a break.
It gives you.
It gives you a moment, kind oflike.
It's kind of like your I'mtrying to think when you're,
(15:14):
when you're eating, like sushi,right, and they give you the
radish.
Your breaks are your palatecleanser.
It's your time to just cleareverything out, not need to
think of anything, not need todo anything.
It's your moment just to comeback to self Number three y'all
(15:37):
know I will stand on this hillfor absolutely ever.
You have to focus on yournutrition.
You have to focus on how you'renourishing your body, what
you're putting in your body andyour baby's body right as they
start eating.
You have to focus on what isgoing to help you and your baby
(15:58):
feel good.
Think about what foods aregoing to help you get through
the day.
Make sure you're drinking yourwater, check in with yourself
throughout the day, and you'regoing to basically say something
like this like hey, we're notthriving in chaos.
We are both flowing back, youand your baby when we are fed,
(16:23):
rested and connected Fed, rested, connected when those three
things are happening, we aretruly, truly thriving.
And so take a moment to reallythink about the things that
you're feeding yourself.
Are they giving you energy?
Are they making you sleepy?
(16:44):
If they're making you sleepy,maybe we need to switch up the
things that we're eating.
Baby feels like you know,they're snacking all day.
Is there something that you cangive them that really nourishes
their body and helps them feelfull and like they can really
(17:05):
use all the energy that theyhave right, start to think about
those things and if you needmore support in that and if you
need more support in that, I dohave Cook Like a Mother the
second round, where I supportyou in figuring out what those
(17:27):
types of meal plans look like,what your goals are.
How can you start to build thehabit not only to plan for foods
that nourish your body, butalso how can you make those
achievable so that you'reprepping them and you're
actually eating them throughoutthe week and you're enjoying
them?
So if you want more support inthat, I will put a link, um, in
(17:49):
the show notes so that you canget early exclusive pricing for
that, because we are kicking offwith that round June 2nd and I
don't want you to miss thatsupport.
All right, y'all, I'm talking tothe mama, um, who's listening
right now.
I want to say some things thatmaybe you might need to hear in
(18:18):
this season.
These are things that I toldmyself in the season of Henry
being home and the season ofthat first year postpartum, of
recovery.
First of all, mama, you are notlazy for needing rest.
I don't care that there'sdishes in the sink, I don't care
(18:39):
, there's toys everywhere.
And maybe you're like this ismy job, sure, yes, that's a part
of motherhood.
Right is taking care of thehome, taking care of the things.
But if you need rest, I promiseyou, if you start prioritizing
that all of those other things,they will happen.
(19:02):
They will, because you'll havethe energy to get them done and
you won't be running on empty.
Also, this is a big one becausefor this entire year that Henry
was here, I felt soself-conscious y'all.
Um, if you watch me on socialmedia Instagram you know that
(19:27):
Henry and I, we used to be stucktogether like glue y'all.
When I say he used to be in thebaby wrap on my lap, um,
especially in those early dayswhen he was napping on the zoom
call, on the team's call at work.
And you are not doing it wrongif your baby is with you while
(19:50):
you're in a working meeting.
You're not, and so I don't want, I want you to pull away from
that self-consciousness of oh mygosh, what are they gonna think
if I have a baby?
First of all, everybody's gonnabe like, oh my gosh, so cute,
cute baby, and those who don'tget it will hopefully just stay
quiet.
And if they're not quiet, don'tlet that be a representation of
(20:14):
who you are as a mom.
You are doing exactly what youneed to do for you and your baby
.
You are where you exactly needto be at this point in time.
You're not doing it wrong.
You're doing it your way forwhat works for you and your
family.
(20:40):
All right, and this, this oney'all you do not have to earn
rest.
That is one that took me awhile to understand is like oh
okay, I've done so.
You know this much of my list.
Now I can take a break.
No, you already deserve thebreak.
You already deserve the rest.
Take it, claim it.
(21:06):
It's yours already.
You don't have to work harderto get that rest.
You deserve it every single day.
So I want to end this episode,first of all, with some
permission slips and remindersfor you to take into your week
now.
Take into the next week andreally start implementing these
y'all.
Number one it's okay to pause atask if it starts feeling
(21:31):
overwhelming, if you startfeeling like this is not
productive I am not in a spacewhere I can be productive in
this task, it's okay to pause.
Second ask for help.
It's okay.
If you can't do all yourself,you're not meant to ask for the
help.
(21:52):
And then, number three protectyour peace.
And then number three protectyour peace, protect your peace.
Even if you are looking at itin that way and you're thinking,
oh, this doesn't look or feelproductive.
If you are protecting yourpeace, it is productive because
it's going towards taking careof you, taking care of your baby
(22:13):
.
Your little one is watching youtoo.
Y'all they are taking a look athow you take care of yourself.
They are getting an example ofwhat things will look like for
them in the future.
You are telling them that it'sokay to not work like over
course and to really protectyour boundaries, protect your
(22:36):
peace and shout those like, sothat everyone knows that this is
who I am and that they start tounderstand.
And so y'all, I'm gonna say itagain there is no work life
balance.
There is no balance, it's onlythe flow.
And the more that you honoryour needs, your baby's needs,
(23:00):
the easier it's going to becometo move through the day with
grace for yourself instead ofputting so much unnecessary
pressure on yourself.
You don't have to balancethings, you just have to go with
what feels right within you,because you already know what
(23:23):
that is.
I want to encourage you to sendme a DM on Instagram and let me
know how it's been going for youas you start implementing these
tools and finding your flow inthe season that you're in right
now.
I want to hear all the things.
(23:45):
I want to be able to supportyou guys, and I can't wait to
see you on the next episode.
Thank you so much for listening.
Love.
If anything in today's episoderesonated with you, share it
with your bestie or share it onsocial media and tag me so we
can chat about it.
As always, sending you lightand love, and remember you are
(24:07):
worthy, you are enough and youdeserve to thrive.
You.
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