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April 11, 2025 26 mins

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Hey Ladies! In today's video, you will learn how to conquer and overcome moments you are self-sabotaging yourself so that you no longer miss out on opportunities you are supposed to seize!

This video answers these questions: What does self-sabotage look like and how do I overcome it?, Why do I keep sabotaging my success?, How can I stop holding myself back? How do I stop missing opportunities in life? How do I recognize when I’m self-sabotaging? Why do I keep playing small when I want more? How do I stop talking myself out of opportunities? How can I trust myself to show up fully?

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
squadcaster-27i5_1_04-10-20 (00:05):
Hey guys.
Welcome back to another video.
Today we are going to be talkingabout something that I just
recently experienced and Ithought that I needed to bring
it to you guys immediately.
So this is about missedopportunities because of moments

(00:26):
of self sabotage.
And so end this episode.
End this video.
I am going to go over how youcan conquer those moments of
self-sabotage so that you don'tmiss out on juicy opportunities.
And also you possibly delayingyour achieving of your goal,

(00:50):
right?
Because you are having momentsof self sabotage.
So like I said, this wasinspired by recent events.
what I also wanna do is show youguys that I am living.
By example, I am practicing whatI preach.
So currently one of my dreamgoals, that is a more personal

(01:12):
dream goal versus my businessdream goal with YouTube and my
business.
My personal dream goal of mine,if you've been, you know,
following me for a little while.
You know, that I've wanted toteach dance classes and also
that I was going to start adance business, but I failed in

(01:33):
that dance business.
So.
Right now I am in the middle ofpursuing, achieving a dream goal
of being a dance classinstructor.
And so one of the things that Istarted doing recently is
getting people to sign up for mydance classes.

(01:54):
Well, to sign up for the waitlist as I continue to build my
email list, right?
And so in order for me tosuccessfully build my email
list, some of the ways that Ihave been going about it is
something completely new to me.
It is something that iscompletely at my comfort zone,
and that is me getting flyersthat is me approaching people

(02:15):
and saying, Hey.
Do you like to dance?
Would you like to you know,would you like to take classes?
So to get people signed up forit?
It has been completely nervewracking.
However, I wanna share thesestories with you.
These are the first two storiesof when I actually did this.
So, first story is that I was ata car shop and it was a girl who

(02:39):
was, the girl who was ringing meup, helping me out with my car
stuff and, and when it was timeto leave in my mind I was like,
okay, maybe I should ask her ifshe wants to join a dance class.
In my mind I'm thinking no, youknow, she had a little bit of an
attitude or she doesn't reallylook like she would like to

(02:59):
dance or look like a dancer.
And so I was slowly talkingmyself out of it, out of asking
her, and I said, you know what?
Maybe next time.
but then I ended up asking heranyways, and I'm gonna dig more
into that in a few.
Now the second thing thathappened was when I was at the

(03:19):
gym, and it was these two girlswho were there.
They came in while I was workingout and I was getting ready to
leave and I was thinking like,Hmm, should I ask them?
Like I had that intuition andthen again, I started talking
myself out of it.
I started thinking, oh, wellthey look kind of young.

(03:40):
Or, you know, they're in themiddle of working out, they're
busy.
I shouldn't like, interrupt themand stop them, like, are they
gonna even wanna be interested?
And so all of these things wasin my mind, but then I did it
anyways.
I did it anyways.
I still approached'em.
I still asked them.
And guess what they said?
Yes.

(04:00):
Just like the girl in the carshop, she also said yes and also
signed up.
And so my mind was blown becauseI realized that if I would've.
Walked away because I wastalking myself out of those
moments.
Then I would've missedopportunities to have these

(04:25):
people sign up for my classesand I could continue saying next
time, and it made me realize howit is so easy.
It is so easy for us, right?
It's so easy for us to get inour head and talk ourselves.
Out of, you know, asking forsomething out of doing something

(04:46):
that we know is going to helpus, that we know that is going
to excel us, that can helppropel us in our, you know,
achieving our dream goal.
We know what we should do, butwe talk ourselves out of it so
easily, right?
So these are little moments ofself-sabotage.

(05:07):
These are just taken examplesfrom these two stories with
these two situations with twodifferent groups of people.
I'm gonna show you what exactlywe do that.
Makes us self-sabotage yourself.
So number one is that we assume,we assume, we assume.
Now, I had an old mentor of mineand I remember him specifically

(05:29):
saying, assumption is a motherof all Fs, right?
All F-F-U-C-K.
And so I remember him sayingthat, but I didn't understand
it.
Until now.
When you make assumptions whenyou just assume something
without actually getting theanswer, you are effing yourself
over, right?

(05:49):
You are missing out on specialmoments.
You are missing out onopportunities because you just
made an assumption.
I assume that that first girlwho wouldn't be interested in
taking dance classes, I assumethat, you know, because the two
girls who were working out that,you know, they were too busy to

(06:11):
talk to me, I assume that Iassumed that they were too young
and instead, in fact, when Iasked them, they said, oh, I'm
25, I'm 19.
I'm like, oh my gosh, I couldhave easily walked out because I
thought maybe they were 16, 15,and that's a missed opportunity
for me.
The second thing that we do iswe make excuses.

(06:35):
We make excuses so much, such asnext time, right?
Right now is not the right time,right now is not perfect.
It's not the perfect moment, Wehave all these excuses that come
up when there's a moment, whenthere's an opportunity that we
need to grab, right?
So me seeing, oh, next time, youknow, next time when I come back

(06:57):
to the shop, or even thinkingnext time when I go to the gym,
who knew next time if I would'veseen these girls right next
time.
There won't be no next timecute, whatever song that was in.
But, I apologize even though Iknow it's lies.
I don't even know what song thatis.
But anyways, I'm back on track.

(07:19):
So there will always be a nexttime to speak to that one person
right.
There won't always be a nexttime to, to ask or to do
something in that very moment.
And so we make those excuses ofit is not the perfect time.
I don't have everythingtogether.

(07:40):
So we missed thoseopportunities.
I actually didn't have my flyersready.
I just had a.
A picture on my phone and I wasthinking like, oh, I don't have
the flyers.
No girl, just walk up to themand just scan the QR code and
listen.
If they sign up, they do.
If they don't, they don't.

(08:00):
Right.
And so I.
There are so many missedopportunities because of making
assumptions and also just havingthese simple excuses.
And of course, like that bottomline really comes to, you know,
that fear, right?
The fear of being rejected, thefear of, you know, being judged.

(08:22):
Did those things come inside ofme?
Yes.
My heart, literally, my heartwas racing.
My hands were sweaty when I wasasking him, but I talked myself
back into it, and I'm gonna goover how I was able to talk
myself back into it.
How did I talk myself back intoasking these women, Hey, would

(08:48):
you like to dance?
Would you like to sign up for mydance class?
Wait list?
How did I talk myself back intothe moment and conquer that
moment of self sabotage?
One of the ways I went over thisin a previous video of becoming
a woman who wonders because sheis unstoppable.

(09:08):
And guys, I mean it, I practicewhat I preach and I just wanna
prove it to you.
So.
In that moment, in that, inthose moments, right.
What I was thinking, and there'smore stories that I can share,
but I just wanna stick withthese two.
In those moments, it was likeone, what's the worst that can

(09:28):
happen?
They say no, right?
Maybe my, my ego may be a littlecrushed.
Maybe I get a little embarrassedor whatever.
My hands were sweating, right?
But I didn't die, right?
So what's the worst that canhappen is that they say no and
they don't sign up.
Okay?
Onto the next, Number two wasthe what if, right?

(09:51):
This is still part of a womanwho wonders.
So the what if?
Well, instead of me thinkinglike, oh my gosh, what if they
don't sign up?
You know, I was thinking, youknow what?
What if they actually areexcited when I introduce, when I
come over to them and I showthem what if they're excited,
and that's exactly whathappened.

(10:12):
the third one of wondering isthe why not me.
This is exactly what I thoughtin those moments, right?
I thought, what's the worst thatcould happen?
Literally, what if they say yes?
What if they get excited andwhy?
Not me?
Right?
No, I know that I'm not aprofessional dancer.
I know I'm not an expert, butwhy not me still, like I can

(10:37):
still.
Know, I still know something.
I trained for two years, so whynot me bring this to this small
town that I live in now thatdon't even have these classes?
Why not me be the one to bringthese classes and teach it?
Why not me live out?

(10:57):
That little girl dream goal thatI've had for so many years?
Why not me?
And that helped me conquer thosemoments of self-sabotage, about
to self-sabotage, because Ialmost did.
I almost walked away.
And so the second thing thathelped me, again, this comes
from my.
My latest video, the last one,if you ladies wanna go back and

(11:19):
watch it, I recommend it.
And it was this video was how toachieve anything that you want
to achieve or become a woman whoachieves anything she wants,
right?
I use the same principles that Iuse when I achieve some of my
dream goals in the past.
So in that moment of thinking,oh, my heart racing, I promise

(11:43):
myself that I'm all And to meall in is me deciding, deciding
to bet on myself, deciding thatI'm not walking away deciding
that, you know.
I'm all in pretty much that I'mgonna conquer this fear that I
am going to lead by example allin.

(12:04):
To me, that's what all inrepresented for me in that
moment.
So in that moment I said, youknow what?
I'm gonna do it anyways.
I'm scared, but I'm going to doit anyways.
Because I made a promise tomyself that this is the goal.
This is a dream goal that Iwanna achieve, and I need to
make that little girl proud.
I need to live this out because.

(12:24):
I, I, I don't wanna live inregret whatsoever.
The other two is I expected towin.
I'm expecting to win in pursuingthis dream goal, then I need to
move accordingly.
Because remember I mentioned inthe last video that if you
expect to lose, you are going tomove accordingly.
And that's how I failed whenstarting, when attempting to

(12:49):
start my dance business.
I failed because I didn't expectto win before, right?
I didn't expect to win.
So this time.
This is not a business.
This is just something that Ireally, really wanna do.
I'm expecting to win, so I haveto move accordingly.
And the other one was in thosemoments, of course, thinking to
myself, that self-image, right?

(13:10):
I can do this.
I am a person again that why notme?
Why not me?
I'm a person who can do this.
I can ask her, you know, andproven that self-image of I can
overcome if someone says no,right?
Because I'm an overcomer.
And so, those are the two thingsthat helped me overcome those
moments of self-sabotage becauseit was truly self-sabotage.

(13:36):
It was so scary.
That's why I say, you know,dream goals.
That's why I'm not a goalachievement coach.
I'm a dream goal achievementcoach because to me, dream goals
is gonna be something that.
Scares you.
It's gonna be something that youknow, pulls another version of
yourself out of you.

(13:57):
You're gonna have to shiftidentities.
You're gonna have to becourageous.
You're gonna have to dodifferent things.
You are going to have to becomeanother person, right?
You're gonna have to think morehighly.
Of yourself if you want toachieve dream goals.
If it doesn't scare you, thenyou are not dreaming big enough.
And so now that I went overthat, I'm going to go over how

(14:19):
to recognize those moments thatyou are self-sabotaging because
once you become aware ofsomething.
Then you'll be able to change itright then.
You'll be able to conquer itwhen is happening and do
differently if you decide to.
Right?
So how I'm able to notice thosemoments of self-sabotage, hear

(14:43):
me out.
Is that you receive, you receivean inkling, a guide, a intuition
that is telling you to dosomething, to ask this person
something, to compliment thisperson to, you know, take a
specific action, right?
You receive a inkling in thatmoment, and when you receive

(15:08):
that inkling, that means it'ssupposed to happen.
That means that you should.
Do it right?
Because if you didn't receivethat inkling, then it's just not
the time.
Then you probably shouldn't doit.
However, in that moment, youstart talking yourself.
Out of it.
You start thinking of all thereasons of why you shouldn't ask

(15:30):
somebody something or youshouldn't compliment or you
shouldn't do a certain activity,whatever it is, as it pertains
to your dream goal, right?
You talk yourself out of it.
You are thinking.
All the excuses in the world,like, ugh, it's not the perfect
time.
Ugh, I'm not ready.
Look how I look.
Or, you know, oh, they don'tlook like they, they'll be

(15:51):
interested.
Right.
Making those assumptions.
This is what's happening.
Your brain is trying to keep yousafe, ladies.
Your brain is trying to keep yousafe.
Your brain is like, oh, no, no,no, no, no, no.
You're about to get attacked.
It is trying to protect you.
And so.
When you get an inkling, butthen immediately you start

(16:12):
thinking of all the reasons ofwhy you shouldn't do this.
That is how you recognize youare self-sabotaging and realize,
I want you to realize that yourbrain is literally just trying
to keep you safe.
None of those things are true.
None of those things areaccurate.
Whatever your brain is feedingback to you, right?

(16:34):
It is feeding you.
It is telling you danger.
Danger, danger.
Danger is because you'restepping out of your comfort
zone.
It's something that is scary toyou.
Of course, your mind is gonna bethinking danger, right?
Because it's something scary.
It's something uncomfortable.
But recognize that moment I.
Especially if you get thatintuition this is an opportunity

(16:56):
that is presenting itself toyou, that is for you because you
got it.
You got that guidance, so it'sfor you.
So just do it.
And always your intuition willalways be your best guide.
It will always be your bestguide.
This is why I talk a lot aboutmoving from your body.
What I mean about your body ismoving from that excitement,

(17:19):
moving from that intuition, thatdesire, that feeling that
you're, that you get when you'relike, oh my gosh, I wanna ask,
oh my gosh.
I wanna compliment thosefeelings that you get inside.
Especially to take action like,oh my gosh, like I really wanna
start this business, or I wantto pursue this dream goal.

(17:40):
Whatever it is, you feel it isworking something in you.
You can't, can't stop thinkingabout it and you wanna do it.
It getting you hot, it's gettingyou heavy.
It is getting you all of thesefeelings, right?
But then the logic comes in.
The logic is good, right?
Is good for planning, it's goodfor structure.
It is good for creating, it'sgood for all of those things.

(18:02):
However.
A lot of times the, when youdecide to move with the logic,
you tend to stay inoverthinking.
You tend to procrastinatebecause you're thinking too
much.
You're.
Exiting movement from your body,your intuition, your gut, that
is gonna lead you down a path ofyour greatest, you know,

(18:23):
creativity or your greatestinvention or whatever it is that
you wanna do, right?
But when you're stuck in yourmind, it is going to slow you
down.
It's not a bad thing, but incertain moments it's best to
move with your body.
And so moments like this,moments of those opportunities
that are for you, it is best tomove with your body because the

(18:46):
logic that brain is going todanger, danger, danger is going
to try to scare you and slow youdown.
And so, a lesson that I want youto get from this, especially
with becoming aware of themoments that you are
self-sabotaging, right?
That is very important.
Just practice becoming aware ofit because when you can become

(19:09):
aware, you can conquer, you cando differently the next time.
And two things.
It is not to say that you won'tever.
You won't ever sabotage amoment, you won't ever sabotage
an opportunity because sometimesyou are going to fall short.
Sometimes, that fear is going tooverweigh the courage.

(19:33):
That happens.
Courage comes in waves, it comesin wave.
Sometimes you're, you're gonnacreate that courage to do you
know, what your intuition istelling you to do.
and sometimes it just may feeleven more scary in a moment and
you may shut down and, you know,get a little too nervous and
pass on that opportunity.
Right.
And so don't beat yourself upabout it.

(19:56):
However, it is buildingsomething in you, It is building
confidence in you.
It is building more courage inyou.
So the more that you practice,the more you're gonna get better
at, you know, talking yourselfback into.
Grabbing onto thoseopportunities that are for you.
All right?
So it's not saying you're gonnalose all the confidence you have

(20:18):
or you know you're losingcourage, confidence and courage.
Courage comes in waves.
It comes in waves.
Sometimes you're gonna must upthat courage and sometimes it's
gonna be like, Ooh, okay, I'm,next time it happens.
But you don't want that to beyour default, right?
You don't want next time to beyour default because you won't

(20:40):
ever achieve it.
You won't ever grab intoopportunities if you always.
Say next time, or make anexcuse, or just don't do it
because you're too scared,right?
Build on that courage and you'llbegin grabbing onto those
opportunities that is going topropel you and.
Help you achieve your dreamgoals even faster than you think

(21:06):
can possibly happen because youare moving with courage, right?
You are overcoming all of thatself-doubt that is in your head.
That is in your head.
And so the second thing that Iwant you to get from this is
that you may act on theintuition.
That intuition of yes, youshould ask.
Yes, you should compliment, yes,you should do this.

(21:28):
Yes, you should stand up.
Yes, you should show up.
Whatever it is you may get, youmay act on it and you may not
get the result that you wannaget.
It happens.
I actually had someone say, no,that's not for me.
Right.
And guess what it is.
Okay.
But what I don't again, want youto think is that, oh, my

(21:52):
intuition was wrong.
No, your intuition is justgetting you prepared.
Your intuition is just buildingup that courage muscle, that
confidence muscle, because themore you can do something, the
more you're gonna be.
Okay with it, the more you'regonna be confident in it.
And the less fearful you willfeel about this specific thing

(22:16):
because you've done it so much.
So even though I still, I get sonervous when I am asking
somebody.
Hey, would you like to, do youlike to dance?
I'm gonna be teaching danceclasses, right?
I get so nervous, so, so, sonervous.
I know that eventually there'sgonna be a day where like I'm
just like, Hey girl.

(22:36):
Right?
Do you like to dance?
Like it's going to flow soeasily.
I'm not gonna be nervouswhatsoever.
One day that is going to happenbecause you have to continuously
conquer a fear for it to nolonger be something you fear,
right?
That's just how things happen.
So ladies, this message is foryou.

(22:57):
My dream goal, achievers goalachieve hers.
Ladies, if you are pursuing orif you desire to achieve a dream
goal.
Stop talking yourself out ofthese missed opportunities, just
getting to the practice of it,because it's going to bring you
one step closer, one step closerto having your dream goal in

(23:23):
your hand.
If you can just conga thosemoments of self-sabotage, it
happens to every body, right?
That imposter syndrome, like Idon't feel good enough.
Like who am I to ask?
I'm not the right person, right?
I want you to remember, remindyourself of the things that I
went over instead of asking,what if this happens in a bad

(23:43):
way?
Ask what if it happens in a goodway.
What if they're excited?
What if it works out?
Right.
Being a woman of wonder, what'sthe worst that can happen and
why not me?
Right?
Conquer those moments withthinking that way, right?
Think more highly, just go allin, decide and expect to win so
that you can move accordingly.

(24:05):
This is gonna help you.
To truly conquer those momentsof self-sabotage, Because you
want this dream goal in Rahan.
I know you do.
I know the.
Feeling of what it feels like toachieve a dream goal, not
because of the outcome of thedream goal, right?
That's exciting.
Not because you, you, you know,you built this business or you

(24:30):
achieve this huge dream goal,but it's more so what it does
for you.
Right.
It allows you to see yourself ina completely different light,
And why it happens is because,again, it transforms you into a
new person.
You have to shed identities.
You have to conquer limitingbeliefs.

(24:51):
You have to talk yourself intoconfidence.
You have to push through.
You have to be courageous.
You have to overcome fear.
You have to validate yourself.
There are so many things that itdoes for you that.
From personal experience that ithas done for me, right?
It's to the point where youachieve this dream goal that you
know that, oh, like this affectsevery area of my life right now.

(25:16):
I can ask for more money at ajob or I am valuable.
I have something to offer.
I do know that I don't have tosettle for less in a
relationship.
Right?
It flows into every area of yourlife because.
It brings something out of you.
And so that's why I am so, so,so, I'm so passionate about this

(25:39):
because it just did so much forme internally And so if you've
been talking yourself out ofstarting a dream goal, then I
wanna invite you to my webinarfrom.
Stuck to Unstoppable where it isgoing to give you the framework,
my blueprint that I use to justfinally take action on a goal,

(26:03):
on a dream goal to finally takeaction on a dream goal.
And so it is free.
If you wanna join, then all youhave to do is click the link in
the description box and it'lltake you to where you can sign
up for the next webinar class.
All right, ladies, and so thatis it for today's episode.
And until next time, bye.
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