Growth Over Guilt: Transforming Mindset for Moms of Autistics

Welcome back to another episode of the Thriving Moms of Autistics Podcast. 

There is nothing more emotionally provoking than an epic meltdown in public. No matter how many years you’ve been raising your child, you never come out of it completely unscathed. 

It happens! Your child drops to the floor in absolute overwhelm. You feel the eyes in the room piercing through you as you flush from head to toe. Who needs hot flashes, right?

I was in Costco when my son stopped in his tracks, dropped, and refused to go any further. We were so close and just finished checking out and were on our way to the door just past the food court. He dropped and started kicking, crying, and pulling hair. 

Moms of autistics have so many balls in the air between making sure your child has their needs met and checking items off your grocery list on top of constantly monitoring the environment around you with your child in mind. 

Is the temperature right? Is the noise level too loud? What is the proximation between your child and the person closest to them? Is the smell coming from the random food carts and food court too offensive? Did I mention making sure your child does not wander off?

In this episode, we explore how to maintain your sanity during chaos and how your mindset makes a positive difference in how you feel during and after the event. 

Find the full transcript for this episode on your favorite podcast app. 

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Autism Moms Know Their Child Better Than Anyone, But They Are Not Perfect

Meltdowns are a part of raising an autistic child. You don’t always know what causes them and sometimes you never know. 

The world can be a heavy place, so it is important to find ways to show yourself some grace for you and your child. 

It’s easy to blame yourself for meltdowns, but they are going to occur. There is no way around that. 

With that said, there are things that can exacerbate them or even further impact you after the fact. 

When my son had his epic meltdown in Costco, it wasn’t unexpected. There were definitely signs. I usually stick to a one store rule when I have my son with me. 

I threw caution to the wind that day and went to two. He seemed to be having a good day and was in a good place. 

I could see that he was starting to fizzle out toward the end of the trip. A sure sign that he has had enough is when he wraps his arms around me and leans in as we are walking. 

I started to rush through and gather what we needed. The people in the store had no idea that this was a sign of anything other than a precious boy loving his mom. They thought it was so sweet. But I knew. 

After the event, I played it over and over in my head and felt frustrated with myself that I didn’t not heed the warning sooner. Those thoughts did not serve anyone. It wasn’t helpful. 

That is why I put those thoughts to rest soon after. 

What Can Moms Do To Turn The Tide of Negative Thinking?

It’s not super easy to shut off intrusive thoughts, but it is essential to your well-being. I always say that your well-being as a mom is important because it overflows onto your child. 

Over time, I have honed in on the skill of catching these thoughts and flipping the switch on this stinkin thinkin. I’ve had lots of practice. 

It is important to remember that these thoughts are natural after negative or overwhelming experiences. You will always have them. But yo