June 3, 2025 • 22 mins
In this heartfelt follow-up to one of my most listened-to episodes, we go deeper—because letting go is just the beginning.
Today, we’re unpacking the power of presence, the weight of unspoken expectations, and the courage it takes to ask for help and actually receive it. If you’ve ever questioned your worth when you're not busy, productive, or the “strong one” for everyone else… this episode is for you.
You’ll hear truths about:
- The guilt we carry after asking for help
- Why rest feels like rebellion in a hustle culture
- How to trust your impact even when no one says “thank you”
- And how you’ve been seen and valued in ways you never realized
You were never invisible—you were just growing in the quiet.
✍🏾 Show Notes:
In this episode, we explore:
- [02:40] The pause after letting go—and why it’s necessary
- [07:05] The truth about asking for help and the shame we hide
- [12:25] Why rest still feels like failure and how to shift that narrative
- [17:45] What quiet impact really looks like in real life
- [21:30] How to rewrite your relationship with self-worth, support, and silence
✨ Reflection Questions:
- Where in your life are you still afraid to ask for help?
- What does rest look like for you—and what beliefs are tied to it?
- Can you name one moment when your presence made a difference, even if it went unacknowledged?
💬 Let’s Stay Connected:
DM me your favorite takeaway from this episode @makitasmith_ on Instagram
Or share the episode and tag me—because your quiet impact might be someone else’s breakthrough.
Leave a review Here
🫖 Want a weekly reminder of your worth and some bold tea for your soul?
Sign up for the Tuesday Tea Newsletter at beautifullyunbalanced.com
#selfdevelopment #Wellness
#thym4teawithmikita #manifest #purposefulliving #liveunapplogectically #freedom #podcast #womeninpodcast #podcastlife #empoweringwomen
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
But it's also one of the most important things.
It's balancing the sacred withthe structured.
It's about the feminine energyreminding you you don't have to
earn rest.
You are worthy just because youexist.
It's okay to forgive yourselffor not being the person
(00:21):
everybody wants you to be.
It's also okay to grieve forany loss that you have.
Hey, there, I'm Nikita, a smalltown girl with big dreams who
started a podcast with an oldheadset and a laptop at my
kitchen table and made my dreamscome true.
On my podcast, time for Teawith Nikita, we chat about
(00:42):
living life unapologetically, onyour terms, from career advice,
entrepreneurship, relationshipsand everything in between.
This is your one-stop shop forreal conversations and
inspiration.
If you're looking forconnection, then you've found it
here.
Join me every Tuesday as wedive into those sometimes
(01:03):
hard-to-have conversations.
Join me every Tuesday as wedive into those sometimes hard
to have conversations.
So grab your cup of tea orcoffee and get comfy, because
this is time for Tea with Makita, and the tea is definitely hot.
Ever feel like you need asuperpower boost of motivation
with exclusive tips and toolswith your goals in mind?
Well, say hello to your newinspiration hotspot the Tuesday
(01:23):
Tea Newsletter, your weeklyinfusion of big thinking, energy
that will propel you to chaseyour wildest dreams, and never
shy away from using the power ofyour voice.
Sign up for the Tuesday TeaNewsletter today at
BeautifullyUnbalancedcom andelevate your goals to the next
level.
Hello, my friends, and welcomeback.
It is definitely time for sometea and I'm your host, makita.
(01:45):
I want to thank you for sharingyour time, your space and your
energy with me today.
In today's episode, we're goingto be talking about redefining
self-care.
Okay, because the thing is,life gets loud, it's full of
deadlines, responsibility andthat invisible weight that we
seem to carry that no one elsecan see or feel but us.
(02:07):
But right now, for the next fewminutes, it's just me and you,
and this episode is verypersonal to me because you hear
me talking about self-care a lot.
But we're going to dive intosomething a little different
when we talk about self-care,because I'm not sure in this day
and age if we really understandwhat self-care is, because I'm
(02:29):
not talking about this Instagramversion of self-care.
I'm not talking about creatingthis self-care checklist.
I want to talk about the whybehind it, because when we
forget the why, what I see a lotof time is that self-care
starts looking a lot likeself-preservation, and that is
(02:51):
not the same thing.
So we're going to start withsome truth.
That might sting a little bit,because most of us are calling
it self-care, but what we'rereally doing is just existing in
this idea of survival mode.
So in this episode, we are goingto talk about what self-care is
(03:13):
and what it isn't, thedifference between using our
feminine energy versus ourmasculine energy, and what that
truly, truly looks like, and whywe need both, but how.
Sometimes life, we know,happens and imbalances show up,
but that don't mean we can'ttweak a few things and correct
(03:34):
it once we understand it.
We're also going to talk abouthow to bring intention back into
your self-care routine.
So go grab a cup of tea.
I want you to get comfy,because we're going to dive deep
into this conversation andwe're just going to be honest,
all right, because that's theonly thing I know how to do is
to be honest, all right.
(03:56):
So, when we talk about this ideaof self-care because when we
say this word, it isn't new, butwhat I feel like has shifted is
how we practice it Somewherealong the way, it became
performative, something to provelike we're holding it all
together because we're doingthis, this and this, when in
(04:17):
reality, true self-care is soft,it's slow and it's sacred.
It's soft, it's slow and it'ssacred.
Self-care is about nourishment,not maintenance.
It's feminine energy at itsroot Receiving, resting,
(04:44):
reflecting, letting yourselfjust be.
It's saying no without guilt.
It's holding space for yourfeelings, without rushing to fix
them.
But here's what self-care isn'tit's not a to-do list, it's not
a mask that you put on and takeoff.
It's not about being productivein disguise and being wrapped
(05:07):
in a pretty package.
That kind of self-care caneasily become masculine energy
in disguise.
Pushing, forcing, doingcontrolling.
We end up taking a bubble bathwhile still mentally running
through today's grocery list fortomorrow.
That's not the energy we wantwhen we talk about self-care and
(05:29):
we definitely don't want to bein this idea of some survival
mode or self-preservation.
So let's talk about feminineenergy versus masculine energy
first, because I feel like wehave to get to the root of it,
and energy first, because I feellike we have to get to the root
of it Because some of us, evenmyself, don't really know what
(05:53):
it's like to move in thisfeminine energy space, because
we never were allowed to.
We've always had to be thestrong one, be on the grind to
show up for everyone else and todare to not cry or feel alone
or lost.
So let's talk energy.
Feminine energy is flow, it'sintuition, stillness, nurturing
(06:14):
and softness, while masculineenergy is structure, it's action
, logic, discipline and drive.
And the thing is, neither isbad.
We need both of those things.
But when we operate too long insurvival mode, we lead with the
masculine energy.
Even when we're exhausted,we're constantly in action,
(06:38):
logic, discipline, drive, and wenever come out of it.
We push through, we keepproducing, we over-function, we
become strong at the cost offeeling safe in our softness.
So the goal here is balance.
Feminine energy grounds us,while masculine energy moves us.
(06:59):
Too much masculine and we burnout.
Too much feminine and we feelunanchored or unmotivated.
So the thing is we need both,but the trick is recognizing
which one you're leading withand when, because not every
situation calls for you to push,produce or over-function.
(07:20):
There are times when we have tobe in the flow.
There's time when you have tobe still and nurturing and soft,
because that's when we lose ourintuition.
We second guess it, becausewe're so strong in the masculine
that we forget the softness outthere, that energy, that
continuous flow that leads toour great ability to have so
(07:43):
much intuition flow that leadsto our great ability to have so
much intuition.
No, self-care comes from a placeof intention.
So the thing is, how do weshift, how do we stop surviving
under the label of self-care andstart thriving in it?
So here are five intentionalways that you can start
(08:05):
practicing self-care rooted inyour feminine energy.
So the first thing you can dois start checking in with your
body before your calendar, askyourself, what do I need right
now?
And then actually listen,because a lot of the times we
ask ourselves what do I needright now?
And then actually listen.
Because a lot of the times weask ourselves what do we need?
(08:26):
And the thing is probably rest,sleep, a good cry.
Maybe it's a walk withouthaving your phone, but what we
say is I don't have time forthat, I got to keep going, I got
to keep moving.
I can't break down yet, I can'tgive in to the cry yet,
(08:58):
no-transcript.
But the thing is, if you keeprunning in that energy, not only
will you cry, but youdefinitely will fall apart and
no one's going to know that youneed the help because you've
been in that role of securityand structure and grind that you
(09:19):
look so strong to other peoplethat even when they try to step
in, you push them aside and saidyou got it, you good.
And then people don't know howto come at you when you're in
that energy.
So you have to start askingyourself what do you need?
(09:40):
And you have to start takingthe advice.
I need a minute, I need 10minutes to just sit in silence
and do it.
Literally go sit in silence.
Sometimes it's saying you gointo the store and sitting in
the car, if that's the onlymoment of peace you can get,
going in the bathroom sayingyou're taking a shower and just
(10:02):
having a moment to breathe andcry.
No one wants to cry becauseit's such a vulnerable act, but
I can't tell you how many timesthat I've allowed myself to just
cry and feel how, after I cameout of that, it was like an
awakening to.
That hurt a lot, but I'm notcarrying it anymore.
(10:29):
My shoulders don't feel asheavy anymore because I admitted
that I'm hurting and it's okay.
I'm still here, I'm still okay.
Second thing you can beintentional about ways to
practice in your self-care andbeing rooted in your feminine
(10:49):
energy is holding space forwhere you are, not where you
think you should be.
You don't have to feel happy tobe grateful, and you don't have
to feel strong to be enough tobe grateful, and you don't have
to feel strong to be enough.
I want to say that againbecause I really want you to
understand.
When you are holding space forwhere you are in this journey in
(11:12):
your life, it's going to lookand feel different and that is
fine, but, again, you don't haveto feel happy to be grateful.
There are so many things thatwe are grateful for in moments
that we are not at our happiest,and that there's so many times
where you are enough just beingwho you are, even when you may
(11:35):
not feel as strong.
You don't have to feel strongto be enough.
You are already enough.
Remember that Hold space forwho you are and where you are,
and not where you think youshould be.
(11:57):
Now the third thing that you cando to start showing up and
being intentional is to createroutines or patterns.
Some people say rituals,whatever creates joy in your
world.
Let that be it.
That can be something as simpleas before.
You go to bed every night, youlight a candle.
You journal.
If journal works for you.
(12:17):
Journal you can write aboutyour day, or write one sentence.
Today, this made me smile.
Today, this made me grateful.
It could be brewing yourfavorite cup of tea, eating your
favorite ice cream.
Maybe you stretch before you goto bed or maybe you watch
reruns of your favorite show,like I do Right now.
(12:39):
I've been watching reruns ofthe X-Files.
I've seen every episode, butthere's something comforting
about turning on that TV at thatcertain time and just having a
moment where I'm not reallywatching it but I'm just at
peace.
And remember to let that momentmean something to you.
(12:59):
It has to be meaningful for youto want to do it.
If it doesn't carry meaning,you're not going to do it.
And the fourth thing about beingintentional is balance doing
with being Meaning.
If your to-do list is full, askyourself what can I receive
(13:23):
today instead of accomplish.
So, when you're balancing theart of doing versus being and
you're saying to yourself whatcan I receive today?
That could be anything.
What can I receive today,instead of thinking about what
(13:46):
can I accomplish, what can I do?
Because, remember, when we'reoperating in masculine energy,
it's all about the doing, notabout the receiving Sometimes
the idea of receiving blessings,receiving joy, receiving
happiness, you know, just havingthat rooted sense of feeling
(14:10):
grounded.
How can you do that, how canyou be in those moments of peace
, especially when you have alist full of things that you may
have to do, because we all haveresponsibilities in life.
But when we balance thatresponsibility of the things
(14:31):
that we have to do and askourselves about what can we
receive?
Something simple.
Everything doesn't have to bebig.
To me, it's all about the smallthings.
The things I least expect bringme the biggest joy.
Now, one of the fifth thingsthat you can do to be
(14:51):
intentional and to become morerooted in your feminine energy
is speak to yourself likesomeone you love, and that's the
real care.
The words you don't say outloud but live in your head are
the same.
They matter.
You may not have said it outloud, but our words carry power.
(15:13):
Your words can manifest yourreality.
Whether you speak them in yourhead or speak them out loud,
they are still there.
They are still manifestingnegativity in your head.
So remember to speak toyourself like someone you love.
You have to love yourself firstso you can start showing that
love to others.
And remember we talk aboutloving yourself and we talk
(15:37):
about this idea of feminineenergy here and being rooted in
that.
Remember, that's that nurturingphase, that softness, that's
the love and flow that we giveto our kids or our nieces and
nephews, our pets.
That's how we show up, in thatenergy of flow, that softness,
(16:01):
having that amazing intuitionthat it's easy to operate in
masculine energy, because inmasculine energy we're only
moving, we're not feeling, we'rejust continuing to do and do.
(16:26):
But you can only be strong forso long and I don't want that
for you, I don't want it for me.
I've been there, been insurvival mode.
I know what that looks like, Iknow what that feels like and at
moments when I catch myselfpushing myself and not listening
(16:47):
to what my body's saying andhaving these thoughts of you're
being lazy today, to say no, no,no.
That's not what I'm doing today.
I'm just taking a moment to sitin silence and really listen to
what it is I need.
And sometimes, you know, weoperate from this idea of
(17:07):
self-care where we closeourselves off, we close
ourselves off from relationshipsand say we're protecting our
energy, when in truth is we'reprotecting ourselves from being
hurt, from being rejected, frombeing seen, and we have to get
clear that self-care can beselfish if you let it.
(17:29):
You can't say you're practicingself-care and then close off
everything else and you keeppushing through and
over-functioning and beingstrong.
That's not it.
You are not at that moment, youare actually just surviving.
(17:49):
You are in self-preservationmode.
You are not in self-care modebecause self-care is flow, it is
nurturing, it is stillness, itis softness, it is taking the
energy around you that you arefeeling and you are bringing up
the other person and you arenurturing them.
It is not about I'm protectingmy peace and setting all of
(18:12):
these boundaries to protectyourself against hurt.
It's about recognizing that,asking yourself what can I do
today to show up for me?
But the me and the version ofyou that you want other people
to be for you?
You can't say I'm going topreserve and protect myself, but
I want other people to show upin this way, but I'm showing up
(18:35):
in another.
So we have to be clear thatwhen we use terms, that we
understand what those termsreally mean, what they look like
and how they show up andmanifest.
If we're dealing with some pain,we have to be able to address
(18:57):
it, to say it's okay, and that'sthe whole thing about what I
said earlier when we talkedabout being intentional, is that
holding that space for whereyou are because you may be in a
space where the only person youcan care for at the moment is
you, but it's when you recognizethat, when you take the time to
(19:18):
reflect and understand thatthat's where you are, then you
can start to say, okay, whereI'm at today is I only have
space for me.
At this moment.
I do not have the space to giveto anyone else.
I have to focus this energy onmyself and that is that feminine
(19:43):
energy coming out, because it'sall in the reflection, it's all
in the flow, it's all in therecognizing and it's all about
being intentional and you haveto be able to reflect.
So when you're talking aboutwhat can you receive today,
receive sometimes can mean whatcan I look inward for that maybe
(20:08):
I already possess in me that Ican pull out today.
That maybe I already possess inme that I can pull out today.
What parts of me can I let showin this cluttered space?
(20:29):
Remember self-care isremembering who you are
underneath all the roles youplay, because, like I said in
the beginning, we are all.
You know, we have all theseresponsibilities.
Life gets full fast.
Responsibilities add up.
We have so much happening rightnow in this world that it is
(20:50):
heavy at times With loss andgrief.
It is hard to give ourselvespermission to feel, to rest and
to be human, but it's also oneof the most important things.
It's balancing the sacred withthe structured.
Structured it's about thefeminine energy, reminding you
(21:11):
you don't have to earn rest.
You are worthy just because youexist.
It's okay to forgive yourselffor not being the person
everybody wants you to be.
It's also okay to grieve forany loss that you have to grieve
(21:36):
for any loss that you have.
Let's stop using self-care tosurvive and start using it to
come home to ourselves.
Now, if this episode spoke toyou today, I want you to share
it with someone who needs thereminder and, as always, I want
to thank you for being here.
You could be anywhere, but youchose to spend this time with me
, and that means everything.
I hope, when you walk away fromthis episode, that you have a
(21:58):
moment of reflection where youmaybe only do one of the things
that I said about beingintentional.
It's not about doing everything.
Sometimes it's just aboutrecognizing where you are and
where you want to be.
All right, my friends, untilnext time, namaste.
But it's also one of the most important things.
It's balancing the sacred withthe structured.
It's about the feminine energyreminding you you don't have to
earn rest.
You are worthy just because youexist.
It's okay to forgive yourselffor not being the person
(00:21):
everybody wants you to be.
It's also okay to grieve forany loss that you have.
Hey, there, I'm Nikita, a smalltown girl with big dreams who
started a podcast with an oldheadset and a laptop at my
kitchen table and made my dreamscome true.
On my podcast, time for Teawith Nikita, we chat about
(00:42):
living life unapologetically, onyour terms, from career advice,
entrepreneurship, relationshipsand everything in between.
This is your one-stop shop forreal conversations and
inspiration.
If you're looking forconnection, then you've found it
here.
Join me every Tuesday as wedive into those sometimes
(01:03):
hard-to-have conversations.
Join me every Tuesday as wedive into those sometimes hard
to have conversations.
So grab your cup of tea orcoffee and get comfy, because
this is time for Tea with Makita, and the tea is definitely hot.
Ever feel like you need asuperpower boost of motivation
with exclusive tips and toolswith your goals in mind?
Well, say hello to your newinspiration hotspot the Tuesday
(01:23):
Tea Newsletter, your weeklyinfusion of big thinking, energy
that will propel you to chaseyour wildest dreams, and never
shy away from using the power ofyour voice.
Sign up for the Tuesday TeaNewsletter today at
BeautifullyUnbalancedcom andelevate your goals to the next
level.
Hello, my friends, and welcomeback.
It is definitely time for sometea and I'm your host, makita.
(01:45):
I want to thank you for sharingyour time, your space and your
energy with me today.
In today's episode, we're goingto be talking about redefining
self-care.
Okay, because the thing is,life gets loud, it's full of
deadlines, responsibility andthat invisible weight that we
seem to carry that no one elsecan see or feel but us.
(02:07):
But right now, for the next fewminutes, it's just me and you,
and this episode is verypersonal to me because you hear
me talking about self-care a lot.
But we're going to dive intosomething a little different
when we talk about self-care,because I'm not sure in this day
and age if we really understandwhat self-care is, because I'm
(02:29):
not talking about this Instagramversion of self-care.
I'm not talking about creatingthis self-care checklist.
I want to talk about the whybehind it, because when we
forget the why, what I see a lotof time is that self-care
starts looking a lot likeself-preservation, and that is
(02:51):
not the same thing.
So we're going to start withsome truth.
That might sting a little bit,because most of us are calling
it self-care, but what we'rereally doing is just existing in
this idea of survival mode.
So in this episode, we are goingto talk about what self-care is
(03:13):
and what it isn't, thedifference between using our
feminine energy versus ourmasculine energy, and what that
truly, truly looks like, and whywe need both, but how.
Sometimes life, we know,happens and imbalances show up,
but that don't mean we can'ttweak a few things and correct
(03:34):
it once we understand it.
We're also going to talk abouthow to bring intention back into
your self-care routine.
So go grab a cup of tea.
I want you to get comfy,because we're going to dive deep
into this conversation andwe're just going to be honest,
all right, because that's theonly thing I know how to do is
to be honest, all right.
(03:56):
So, when we talk about this ideaof self-care because when we
say this word, it isn't new, butwhat I feel like has shifted is
how we practice it Somewherealong the way, it became
performative, something to provelike we're holding it all
together because we're doingthis, this and this, when in
(04:17):
reality, true self-care is soft,it's slow and it's sacred.
It's soft, it's slow and it'ssacred.
Self-care is about nourishment,not maintenance.
It's feminine energy at itsroot Receiving, resting,
(04:44):
reflecting, letting yourselfjust be.
It's saying no without guilt.
It's holding space for yourfeelings, without rushing to fix
them.
But here's what self-care isn'tit's not a to-do list, it's not
a mask that you put on and takeoff.
It's not about being productivein disguise and being wrapped
(05:07):
in a pretty package.
That kind of self-care caneasily become masculine energy
in disguise.
Pushing, forcing, doingcontrolling.
We end up taking a bubble bathwhile still mentally running
through today's grocery list fortomorrow.
That's not the energy we wantwhen we talk about self-care and
(05:29):
we definitely don't want to bein this idea of some survival
mode or self-preservation.
So let's talk about feminineenergy versus masculine energy
first, because I feel like wehave to get to the root of it,
and energy first, because I feellike we have to get to the root
of it Because some of us, evenmyself, don't really know what
(05:53):
it's like to move in thisfeminine energy space, because
we never were allowed to.
We've always had to be thestrong one, be on the grind to
show up for everyone else and todare to not cry or feel alone
or lost.
So let's talk energy.
Feminine energy is flow, it'sintuition, stillness, nurturing
(06:14):
and softness, while masculineenergy is structure, it's action
, logic, discipline and drive.
And the thing is, neither isbad.
We need both of those things.
But when we operate too long insurvival mode, we lead with the
masculine energy.
Even when we're exhausted,we're constantly in action,
(06:38):
logic, discipline, drive, and wenever come out of it.
We push through, we keepproducing, we over-function, we
become strong at the cost offeeling safe in our softness.
So the goal here is balance.
Feminine energy grounds us,while masculine energy moves us.
(06:59):
Too much masculine and we burnout.
Too much feminine and we feelunanchored or unmotivated.
So the thing is we need both,but the trick is recognizing
which one you're leading withand when, because not every
situation calls for you to push,produce or over-function.
(07:20):
There are times when we have tobe in the flow.
There's time when you have tobe still and nurturing and soft,
because that's when we lose ourintuition.
We second guess it, becausewe're so strong in the masculine
that we forget the softness outthere, that energy, that
continuous flow that leads toour great ability to have so
(07:43):
much intuition flow that leadsto our great ability to have so
much intuition.
No, self-care comes from a placeof intention.
So the thing is, how do weshift, how do we stop surviving
under the label of self-care andstart thriving in it?
So here are five intentionalways that you can start
(08:05):
practicing self-care rooted inyour feminine energy.
So the first thing you can dois start checking in with your
body before your calendar, askyourself, what do I need right
now?
And then actually listen,because a lot of the times we
ask ourselves what do I needright now?
And then actually listen.
Because a lot of the times weask ourselves what do we need?
(08:26):
And the thing is probably rest,sleep, a good cry.
Maybe it's a walk withouthaving your phone, but what we
say is I don't have time forthat, I got to keep going, I got
to keep moving.
I can't break down yet, I can'tgive in to the cry yet,
(08:58):
no-transcript.
But the thing is, if you keeprunning in that energy, not only
will you cry, but youdefinitely will fall apart and
no one's going to know that youneed the help because you've
been in that role of securityand structure and grind that you
(09:19):
look so strong to other peoplethat even when they try to step
in, you push them aside and saidyou got it, you good.
And then people don't know howto come at you when you're in
that energy.
So you have to start askingyourself what do you need?
(09:40):
And you have to start takingthe advice.
I need a minute, I need 10minutes to just sit in silence
and do it.
Literally go sit in silence.
Sometimes it's saying you gointo the store and sitting in
the car, if that's the onlymoment of peace you can get,
going in the bathroom sayingyou're taking a shower and just
(10:02):
having a moment to breathe andcry.
No one wants to cry becauseit's such a vulnerable act, but
I can't tell you how many timesthat I've allowed myself to just
cry and feel how, after I cameout of that, it was like an
awakening to.
That hurt a lot, but I'm notcarrying it anymore.
(10:29):
My shoulders don't feel asheavy anymore because I admitted
that I'm hurting and it's okay.
I'm still here, I'm still okay.
Second thing you can beintentional about ways to
practice in your self-care andbeing rooted in your feminine
(10:49):
energy is holding space forwhere you are, not where you
think you should be.
You don't have to feel happy tobe grateful, and you don't have
to feel strong to be enough tobe grateful, and you don't have
to feel strong to be enough.
I want to say that againbecause I really want you to
understand.
When you are holding space forwhere you are in this journey in
(11:12):
your life, it's going to lookand feel different and that is
fine, but, again, you don't haveto feel happy to be grateful.
There are so many things thatwe are grateful for in moments
that we are not at our happiest,and that there's so many times
where you are enough just beingwho you are, even when you may
(11:35):
not feel as strong.
You don't have to feel strongto be enough.
You are already enough.
Remember that Hold space forwho you are and where you are,
and not where you think youshould be.
(11:57):
Now the third thing that you cando to start showing up and
being intentional is to createroutines or patterns.
Some people say rituals,whatever creates joy in your
world.
Let that be it.
That can be something as simpleas before.
You go to bed every night, youlight a candle.
You journal.
If journal works for you.
(12:17):
Journal you can write aboutyour day, or write one sentence.
Today, this made me smile.
Today, this made me grateful.
It could be brewing yourfavorite cup of tea, eating your
favorite ice cream.
Maybe you stretch before you goto bed or maybe you watch
reruns of your favorite show,like I do Right now.
(12:39):
I've been watching reruns ofthe X-Files.
I've seen every episode, butthere's something comforting
about turning on that TV at thatcertain time and just having a
moment where I'm not reallywatching it but I'm just at
peace.
And remember to let that momentmean something to you.
(12:59):
It has to be meaningful for youto want to do it.
If it doesn't carry meaning,you're not going to do it.
And the fourth thing about beingintentional is balance doing
with being Meaning.
If your to-do list is full, askyourself what can I receive
(13:23):
today instead of accomplish.
So, when you're balancing theart of doing versus being and
you're saying to yourself whatcan I receive today?
That could be anything.
What can I receive today,instead of thinking about what
(13:46):
can I accomplish, what can I do?
Because, remember, when we'reoperating in masculine energy,
it's all about the doing, notabout the receiving Sometimes
the idea of receiving blessings,receiving joy, receiving
happiness, you know, just havingthat rooted sense of feeling
(14:10):
grounded.
How can you do that, how canyou be in those moments of peace
, especially when you have alist full of things that you may
have to do, because we all haveresponsibilities in life.
But when we balance thatresponsibility of the things
(14:31):
that we have to do and askourselves about what can we
receive?
Something simple.
Everything doesn't have to bebig.
To me, it's all about the smallthings.
The things I least expect bringme the biggest joy.
Now, one of the fifth thingsthat you can do to be
(14:51):
intentional and to become morerooted in your feminine energy
is speak to yourself likesomeone you love, and that's the
real care.
The words you don't say outloud but live in your head are
the same.
They matter.
You may not have said it outloud, but our words carry power.
(15:13):
Your words can manifest yourreality.
Whether you speak them in yourhead or speak them out loud,
they are still there.
They are still manifestingnegativity in your head.
So remember to speak toyourself like someone you love.
You have to love yourself firstso you can start showing that
love to others.
And remember we talk aboutloving yourself and we talk
(15:37):
about this idea of feminineenergy here and being rooted in
that.
Remember, that's that nurturingphase, that softness, that's
the love and flow that we giveto our kids or our nieces and
nephews, our pets.
That's how we show up, in thatenergy of flow, that softness,
(16:01):
having that amazing intuitionthat it's easy to operate in
masculine energy, because inmasculine energy we're only
moving, we're not feeling, we'rejust continuing to do and do.
(16:26):
But you can only be strong forso long and I don't want that
for you, I don't want it for me.
I've been there, been insurvival mode.
I know what that looks like, Iknow what that feels like and at
moments when I catch myselfpushing myself and not listening
(16:47):
to what my body's saying andhaving these thoughts of you're
being lazy today, to say no, no,no.
That's not what I'm doing today.
I'm just taking a moment to sitin silence and really listen to
what it is I need.
And sometimes, you know, weoperate from this idea of
(17:07):
self-care where we closeourselves off, we close
ourselves off from relationshipsand say we're protecting our
energy, when in truth is we'reprotecting ourselves from being
hurt, from being rejected, frombeing seen, and we have to get
clear that self-care can beselfish if you let it.
(17:29):
You can't say you're practicingself-care and then close off
everything else and you keeppushing through and
over-functioning and beingstrong.
That's not it.
You are not at that moment, youare actually just surviving.
(17:49):
You are in self-preservationmode.
You are not in self-care modebecause self-care is flow, it is
nurturing, it is stillness, itis softness, it is taking the
energy around you that you arefeeling and you are bringing up
the other person and you arenurturing them.
It is not about I'm protectingmy peace and setting all of
(18:12):
these boundaries to protectyourself against hurt.
It's about recognizing that,asking yourself what can I do
today to show up for me?
But the me and the version ofyou that you want other people
to be for you?
You can't say I'm going topreserve and protect myself, but
I want other people to show upin this way, but I'm showing up
(18:35):
in another.
So we have to be clear thatwhen we use terms, that we
understand what those termsreally mean, what they look like
and how they show up andmanifest.
If we're dealing with some pain,we have to be able to address
(18:57):
it, to say it's okay, and that'sthe whole thing about what I
said earlier when we talkedabout being intentional, is that
holding that space for whereyou are because you may be in a
space where the only person youcan care for at the moment is
you, but it's when you recognizethat, when you take the time to
(19:18):
reflect and understand thatthat's where you are, then you
can start to say, okay, whereI'm at today is I only have
space for me.
At this moment.
I do not have the space to giveto anyone else.
I have to focus this energy onmyself and that is that feminine
(19:43):
energy coming out, because it'sall in the reflection, it's all
in the flow, it's all in therecognizing and it's all about
being intentional and you haveto be able to reflect.
So when you're talking aboutwhat can you receive today,
receive sometimes can mean whatcan I look inward for that maybe
(20:08):
I already possess in me that Ican pull out today.
That maybe I already possess inme that I can pull out today.
What parts of me can I let showin this cluttered space?
(20:29):
Remember self-care isremembering who you are
underneath all the roles youplay, because, like I said in
the beginning, we are all.
You know, we have all theseresponsibilities.
Life gets full fast.
Responsibilities add up.
We have so much happening rightnow in this world that it is
(20:50):
heavy at times With loss andgrief.
It is hard to give ourselvespermission to feel, to rest and
to be human, but it's also oneof the most important things.
It's balancing the sacred withthe structured.
Structured it's about thefeminine energy, reminding you
(21:11):
you don't have to earn rest.
You are worthy just because youexist.
It's okay to forgive yourselffor not being the person
everybody wants you to be.
It's also okay to grieve forany loss that you have to grieve
(21:36):
for any loss that you have.
Let's stop using self-care tosurvive and start using it to
come home to ourselves.
Now, if this episode spoke toyou today, I want you to share
it with someone who needs thereminder and, as always, I want
to thank you for being here.
You could be anywhere, but youchose to spend this time with me
, and that means everything.
I hope, when you walk away fromthis episode, that you have a
(21:58):
moment of reflection where youmaybe only do one of the things
that I said about beingintentional.
It's not about doing everything.
Sometimes it's just aboutrecognizing where you are and
where you want to be.
All right, my friends, untilnext time, namaste.
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