May 14, 2024 • 61 mins
Ever wonder how to actually build the life you’ve always wanted? Meet Michael King, a mental health coach who’s all about making big changes. He joined us to break down how you can turn your dreams into something real. We talked all about growing as a person, like picking up habits that move us forward and ditching the ones that drag us down. Michael's own journey from Midland to Omaha really shows what it means to transform yourself and chase after those big goals by mastering yourself first.
Join us as we dive into the world of self-discovery. Michael shared his three-step game plan—correct, function, perform—that he swears can shake up any part of your life. Whether you’re stuck in a rut or gunning for the top of your field, he’s got a plan for you. We also chat about how important it is to build supportive spaces and have patience as our stories unfold.
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Wrapping up our chat, Michael and I got deep into how the choices we make about where we hang out can really shape our future. We talked about finding places where we feel valued and how tough times can actually lead to better things. We closed our conversation with a call to live boldly, embrace the changes that make us stronger, and inspire others to do the same. Tune in and let our stories and tips spark your own path to growth and change.
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#thym4teawithmikita #manifest #purposefulliving #liveunapplogectically #freedom #podcast #womeninpodcast #podcastlife #empoweringwomen
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Mychael King (00:00):
I go through my process.
I identify what it is that Iwant in my environment.
Then I identify what I don'twant in my environment.
What are some of the traitsthat have been toxic for me in
the past?
So, like going throughhardships and trials, they'll
tell you what you don't want inyour environment.
Mikita Smith (00:18):
Hey there, I'm Makita, a small town girl with
dreams who started a podcastwith an old headset and a laptop
at my kitchen table and made mydreams come true.
On my podcast, time for Teawith Nikita, we chat about
living life unapologetically, onyour terms, from career advice,
entrepreneurship, relationshipsand everything in between.
(00:39):
This is your one-stop shop forreal conversations and
inspiration.
This is your one-stop shop forreal conversations and
inspiration.
If you're looking forconnection, then you've found it
here.
Join me every Tuesday as wedive into those sometimes
hard-to-have conversations.
So grab your cup of tea orcoffee and get comfy, because
(01:05):
this is Time for Tea with Nikitaand the tea is definitely hot.
Ever feel like you need asuperpower boost of motivation
with exclusive tips and toolswith your goals in mind?
Well, say hello to your newinspiration hotspot the Tuesday
Tea Newsletter, your weeklyinfusion of big thinking energy
that'll propel you to chase yourwildest dreams and never shy
away from using the power ofyour voice.
Sign up for the Tuesday Teanewsletter today at
(01:26):
beautifullyunbalancedcom andelevate your goals to the next
level.
Welcome back.
It is definitely time for sometea.
I am Makita.
Thank you so much for sharingyour time, your space and your
energy with me today as weexplore today's conversation.
We're talking about creating thelife you want to live in, and
it reminds me of this quote byEleanor Roosevelt that said the
(01:49):
future belongs to those whobelieve in the beauty of their
dreams and honestly, I don'tthink that could be even more
true today.
So I want to welcome today'sguest, michael King.
He is a dedicated father,author and mental health coach
who combines his rich backgroundin exercise, science and health
(02:11):
services to empower individualsat Coach King 1989 LLC.
Michael's journeys from MidlandMichigan to impacting lives in
Omaha, nebraska embodies hismission, and his statement is
one that, as I was saying it andlistening to it, I was just
like how true is this when we'retalking about creating the life
(02:34):
you want to live in?
His slogan is make real change.
Make change real.
So, michael, welcome and thankyou real.
Mychael King (02:49):
So, michael, welcome and thank you.
Thanks for having me.
I'm just so honored to be apart of your podcast.
I mean, we're family, right, sothis is just amazing.
So thank you.
Mikita Smith (02:57):
And that's true.
We are family and it's justamazing.
As I was sitting there talkingto Sam, we've been watching your
videos and they're so like,inspiring, and every time I
listen to you talk it's alwayslike I'm learning something you
know, and what keeps peoplecoming back is the fact that
(03:18):
they're getting information tohelp them with their growth and
evolution and transformation,and I feel like you embody that.
Mychael King (03:26):
Yeah, thank you.
It actually comes from apersonal discovery of myself,
learning to master myself,learning who I am, who I am, who
God created me to be, andbecoming that.
I often pray Lord, let me bewho you see me as.
(03:48):
Who do you see me as?
That's who I want to become,and the inspiration is not like
it's intentional, it's just I'mtalking and trying to inspire
myself.
So if I can inspire myselffirst and trying to inspire
myself, so if I can inspiremyself first, I know I can
(04:08):
inspire someone else.
And the intention is really tohelp me get through times in my
life.
I've challenged myself toreflect on everything that I do
every day and that's helped mebuild charisma, confidence and
actually kind of look inward alot, and self-reflection is one
of those tools that we use tobuild our emotional intelligence
(04:33):
, and so I do a ton ofreflection.
I am, if you were to do like apersonality assessment, I'm a
person that can go either way,like I can be introverted or I
can be extremely extroverted,and I found out that they call
me the quiet enthusiast.
(04:54):
So a person I'm not going to bethe person that's going to be,
try to be the center ofattention and I'm not going to
be the person that's going to becompletely reserved.
I'm going to be the person that, if you ask me something, oh,
you're going to get straight up,talk, talk, talk, talk.
I'm going to talk your ear off,but also, in a room full of
people who are extroverts, Iwill tend to listen and observe.
(05:17):
So I'm the quiet enthusiastthat explains me.
So, some of the negative notnegative um, some of the some of
the negative um, not negativetraits, but some of the things
that might off put people isthey don't know how to read a
person like me.
They might think that I don'tlike them.
They might think that I'm likeoutstanding or offstanding, but
really I'm just listening.
(05:37):
I really am, um, just trying tounderstand who they are.
I'm trying to read the room andI know that about myself.
And I think that brings me backto the point of when you're
trying to create something oryou're trying to inspire
somebody to do something, youhave to know who you are.
That's so important.
(06:00):
This personal discovery didn'thappen just by happenstance when
I moved out to Omaha.
This personal discovery didn'thappen just by happenstance when
I moved out to Omaha, um, Igave, I became a part of a
church.
That that's what they do.
Um, you know, we talk about thekingdom.
Um, dr Martin, um, and abachelor's worship center shout
out to them, um, our lead pastor, pastor Joshua, they just
they're all about environment,developing people.
(06:21):
So, by happenstance, you go andyou join some spiritual place
that does that.
You will begin to do that aswell.
And so when I signed up forShake the Nations, I went into.
It's a conference they do everyyear in the fall and it's about
(06:42):
deploying, and then also what'sthe other one?
You know what?
It's okay, it'll come to me, Iswear, I swear, I swear.
Still morning time, my brain'swaking up, but yeah, it's
literally three days and youbasically just discover who you
(07:08):
are, discover your missionstatement, personal mission
statements, how do you want tolead your family?
How do you want to lead yourfinances?
I go to a church where they askthose questions all the time,
because the kingdom of God is-.
Mikita Smith (07:21):
And it challenges you to answer them.
Mychael King (07:23):
Yes.
Mikita Smith (07:24):
Because it's funny , because, uh, sam used to ask
me this question all the time hewould say, if you could start a
business, um, and you know whatwould it be.
And the first time he said it Iwas like, well, how are you
asking me that?
Like I have no in my mind.
I had nothing that would anyonewould would want to, like,
purchase anything from me.
(07:45):
Like, how would?
I can't make anything, I don'treally cook, okay, but I don't
know if I can make a living offof it.
You know, like I can't.
So, like it was just like, andhe just kept like, every once in
a while he would ask me thatquestion and unknowingly,
subconsciously, I was thinkingabout it.
Like what would I do If I couldstart my own business, if I
(08:06):
could do anything in this world,what would I want to do?
And it started this whole.
Like you say self-reflection,sitting with yourself asking
yourself those questions.
Like you know, how do I seemyself, what's my mission
statement, how do I want to befinancially in the future?
Like, what legacy or whatteachings we want to share with
our kids and what people we wantaround us in our space?
(08:28):
Like, what type of energy isthat?
And you start to really look atyour life in a different way.
Mychael King (08:36):
Absolutely and like personally personal
discovery, I think.
I think there's a lot of keys.
You need people.
I didn't understand theimportance of submission and
submitting myself to elders,people who are wiser than me,
(08:56):
leadership coaches.
So at STN, dr Martin challengedus with those questions of
discovery and in that I foundout that I had such a barrier
Because once you hit a certainage I think above the age of
like 12 or something like thateverything that you've learned
(09:18):
already it's just harddevelopmentally.
It's just hard developmentally.
I'm also reading this book.
I read a book called Immunity toChange and what they say is, as
you grow, your mental capacitystarts to plateau.
So you get to these certainareas and points in your life
and you start to plateau on whatyou are actually able to absorb
(09:40):
and we have to actuallychallenge ourselves to actually
break those plateaus.
Same thing in weightlifting youcan get so strong and then all
of a sudden you hit this pointwhere you just can't go anymore.
Our bodies are naturallyprotective, our minds are
naturally protective.
There's a lot of things that wedo.
(10:01):
I don't know.
Our mechanism is to protect anykind of pain In order to push
past plateaus.
It's painful, so literally tohave to discover who I am.
I had to go back to years andpretty much look at everything
that I have been doingsubconsciously.
(10:22):
What have I subconsciously beendoing for the past 30 years?
And that was painful.
That was so painful to have todecide on that.
That was the last D, by the way, is decide.
So it's discover, decide andthen deploy your talent.
So we had to.
We go through this whole thingat STN.
(10:42):
So, if anybody's out therelistening, come to Omaha,
nebraska, sign up for ShakeNations.
That's my shameless plugs.
Sorry, I didn't know, I didn'ttell you about that, but that
was going to do that Anyway.
So, anyway, once you discover,then you decide.
And so I had to make thisdecision in my brain and said,
hey, who, who am I and what isit that I do?
(11:06):
And it was all helter skelterat first.
But I looked at you know, whatwas I really good at?
What is my talents, what are mystrengths?
Um, and I had been a personaltrainer for 10 years and and I
had to, like, dive into whatmade me a good trainer.
You know, people always saidwhat do people say?
What do I think?
(11:26):
You know, whenever you look atsomething, you have to look at
it from a holistic standpoint.
So like.
That's hard.
If you only see yourself fromone particular mindset, if you
only see yourself from whatpeople tell you, that's a
socialized mindset.
Society will dictate who youare.
(11:46):
That is a very dangerous placeto be.
For years I operated in that myearly years, adolescence to
parts of college.
People tell you oh, your momeven tells you you're going to
be a doctor.
Ooh, look at my baby, she gotthe doctor's hands or he got the
(12:06):
doctor's hand.
Our parents socialize us right.
They tell us who we're going tobe and we don't even realize it
.
So in our minds we have thisarea of potential.
We're trying to live up to whattheir expectations are and
(12:27):
oftentimes I mean I'm preachingto parents, I'm preaching to
children and even adults who arestill trying to please their
parents.
I'm still trying to make myparents happy but, now it's not
making them happy.
It's different.
It's different now that I'vediscovered that, because now
(12:49):
that I've discovered that, Irealized they were just throwing
out options, but they werethrowing out the best options.
A doctor is the highest you canget right.
They want you to to shoot forthe moon.
I think.
I think, now that our world haschanged and now that we've
become more educated, I believe,now that I know that I can now
(13:14):
parent my son to say listen, ifyou're going to be a police
officer, try to be the chief, gofrom the top.
What does it take to be at thevery top?
Because obviously we want to besuccessful at what we do, but
we also also want to be the bestat what we do.
Yeah, and I think you know it'sfunny.
Mikita Smith (13:31):
You said that because I told my daughter she's
in college right now, myyoungest and I said you know you
may not see the career that youwant out here, but that doesn't
mean you can't create it.
Think outside the box.
You can create the career thatyou want.
It doesn't have to have a name.
(13:52):
Give it a name.
Think about it.
You can do whatever.
Give it a name and it's yours.
Mychael King (13:58):
So God made us in this image and his likeness.
So when we speak something andwe proclaim something, there's
power in that.
So encouraging your kids to saywhat it is that they want is
empowerment.
So that's the first part of mytagline.
(14:20):
But first you have to changethe mindset.
And that's what you did withyour daughter.
You said make real change, makereal change, make real change,
make real change.
I said my son, make real change, son.
But then you got to make itreal to you.
And when you change that stateand you get a reciprocal, you
(14:41):
make it real to them thementality to make real change.
So it's so powerful, your words.
That is where you want to start.
But I take a step further and goeven deeper.
It starts with your thoughts.
(15:02):
It starts with your thoughts.
So your thoughts dictate whatcomes out of you and if you can
learn to craft and master yourthoughts, you will conquer
yourself.
You know, in the Bible theytalk about the battle between
(15:32):
the flesh and the spirit andbeing led by the spirit.
And then also, you know, jesussaid repent, or John the Baptist
said repent, for the kingdom ofheaven is at hand, right.
Well, when I came into Omahaand when I came into
rededicating my life to Christ,I realized that this word repent
means change your mind, changedirection.
And so I've also heard adefinition of sin is just
missing the mark.
We often look at it as afleshly or carnal, but it's just
(15:54):
missing your purpose, missingwhat direction God is trying to
put you.
And I also want to take it astep further.
Sin is also spelled.
Exactly the same sign ofsomething is just an angle off
of the, off of a straightdirection.
(16:15):
So if you look at the sign rightway to look at it it's just,
yep, you just, you, just, it'soff focus, you're not, you're
straight.
So when Jesus said, straight isthe way, literally straight,
like you.
Straight is the way it's direct, right, there's no teetering
back and forth, the sin is likeliterally the sign off of an
(16:35):
adjacent corner.
Right, it's like literally anangle that you take.
So I was just like, wow, blewmy mind, but also not just power
, I think also Dr Martin'scrones.
I'm going to steal it from him.
He said ignorance is our worstenemy and really getting to know
(17:06):
who you are discovering thosethings, deciding, and I think I
want to.
We're talking about creating anenvironment that you want to
live in.
I think we start with personaldiscovery.
Once you know yourself, thenyou can decide on what you want
to take.
And I chose mental healthcoaching because I've been doing
a lot of personal training.
I know how to get someone'sphysical right, but I had to
(17:29):
dive deeper into how I did it.
What was my process of doingthat?
And I educate.
So one of my gifts is reallybecause I'm a knowledge junkie.
I eat on just random facts.
People are like man, why do youknow so much stuff?
Like I don't know, I just getinto it, you know, and so
(17:52):
because of that I know in allour family we come from a family
of teachers too.
So I know my mother's side.
We're school teachers all theway in the in, all up and
through the bloodline.
So they're all teachers.
I inherited it.
I'm sorry, you know I'veinherited that and that's also
part of knowing who you are.
(18:12):
Like I knew.
I knew I had teachers in myfamily, so I took a personal
training route of teaching andeducating them with the goal
that they didn't need me anymore.
The goal was to train a personso that they could do this for
themselves by themselves.
I feel like if you needed me, Iwasn't doing my job.
Mikita Smith (18:36):
Yeah.
Mychael King (18:38):
I wanted to teach myself.
So I wanted to teach my clientsto the point where I was
irrelevant, because independenceis survival for them.
You know what I mean.
I wanted to teach my clients tothe point where I was
irrelevant, because independenceis survival for them.
You know what I mean.
Like the freedom that they haveto make these healthy choices
now was the most important to me.
Mikita Smith (18:55):
It wasn't the money, and it's confidence too.
Mychael King (18:57):
Cause I could gouge it yeah.
Mikita Smith (19:01):
And then they get to know who they are through the
process and the journey,because it's a journey physical
health, mental health it's all ajourney of learning something
new about yourself and as youevolve um throughout the journey
, you learn.
Mychael King (19:16):
It's a it's like a constant evolution, though
right like you're constantlyevolving you know the constant,
the constant evolution withinthe environment, I mean within
your life.
That's, that's the conditioningand that's why it's so
important to monitor every stageof your being.
(19:40):
You know what I mean by hismind, body and soul.
You have to monitor thatbecause a lot of stuff that you
expose yourself to isn't goodfor you, a lot of places that
you go in your development isn'tgood for you.
Not all change is good, not allchange is good.
So, because you can have, youcould be on a good path, but
(20:01):
change your mind and go backinto a wrong path.
You know it's like people whorelapse on addiction, like you
know.
Let's say you're an alcoholic.
Well, you make your mind up,you change right, but then you
decide to get back into it andyou relapse.
Or let's say you've never takena drink and then the first time
you do you're like, oh, it'sfine.
(20:23):
Or you do some type of harddrug.
The next thing you know you'reinto this path of addiction,
that you didn't even realize it.
But that was a change.
Those are negative changes.
So positive changes, those arethose things that set your life
on the course of your destinyand your purpose.
So that's why it goes back toknowing who you are.
(20:44):
So you have to always startwith ground.
One check your foundationsfirst.
Start with the ground.
One check your foundation, makesure that everything lines up.
Then, when you make thatdecision, now you've decided on
which path you want to go,everything has to align itself
with that decision that you makein the positive direction and
(21:06):
then you can deploy it.
And I actually have athree-stage thing that I go
through.
It's correction, function andperformance.
So the correction is that firstpart.
It's like finding yourself makethat correction, make those
changes that you need to make,then function at it.
Same thing as making thatdecision.
(21:27):
Now you're functioning, nowyou're actively working at it.
They've gotten to the point offunctioning, to the point where
you can all right, what's next?
What's next?
For me?
That's that final stage of thiskind of process in your life
that you're trying to go through.
I use also correct function,perform with my athletes or with
(21:48):
my clients as well, like Icorrect any kind of malalignment
issues that they have in theirbody.
Like you have faulty issues,like my hamstring's burning.
Oh God, what's going on?
Well, you know your ankles areoff, or like your hips are not
aligned, or your posture's bador you know we have to attack
your spinal issues.
You know you have low dorsus inyour spine.
(22:09):
You have extreme kyphosis.
This way we have I'm throwingout different languages- but you
know it's funny.
Mikita Smith (22:14):
You said you said posture Cause I am constantly
all the time checking my posturewhen I'm sitting, because I
know if, if, if I start to letmy shoulders start leaning
forward or if my back isn'tstraight, I'm going to pay for
it later.
So I'm constantly like I don'tcare whether I work, I'm sitting
here behind this mic.
I'm like am I sitting up right?
(22:40):
Because when you talk aboutalignment and being aligned,
that goes with every step.
But I just want to go back,because when you talked about
the foundational piece and youwas talking about, you know,
laying that foundation, gettingto know who you are, I think
that's the hardest part becauseit comes with a lot of truths,
(23:00):
it comes with a lot of innerwork which a lot of people want
to skip that part because theyfeel like you know I'm going to
say for everybody, but for somepeople we don't want to get into
like this shame game.
Or you know, I don't want tonecessarily blame myself or
rehash old traumas that you knowcome with some of the territory
(23:21):
, rehash old traumas that youknow come with some of the
territory, but being able to,like you say, understanding the
emotional intelligence part, youknow it's not about blame, it's
not about actual.
You know people talk aboutemotional intelligence but they
don't know like it's not aboutbeing emotional, it's being able
to look at a situation you knowas a big picture, without,
(23:44):
without all the emotions, andsee it for what it is.
Mychael King (23:50):
Yeah, so I kind of want to add to that foundation.
Um, most people don't do itbecause it costs them too much.
Um, whether the discovery is anassessment to give you a
baseline of what you're thinkingabout.
(24:11):
A lot of those assessments arebasically your preferences.
They're not absolutes, butthey're a starting place.
Those assessments get to knowhow you prefer life and that's,
I realized, where I prefer life.
I prefer life this way, and ifI prefer life this way, now
(24:32):
let's apply some of the moralityand ethics that I have.
And how does that shape andhelp mold me?
Some of that cost is humilitytoo.
You know, pride gets in the waya lot of times.
We don't really want to knowbut we long for knowing.
Like there's things about methat I don't want to know but I
(24:57):
long to know it.
Um, and there are things in myenvironment like I'll share
personal things when I was inthis space of wanting to create
an environment, and how the Holyspirit hit me with that.
The Holy spirit said create anenvironment that you want to
live in.
With that, the Holy Spirit saidcreate an environment that you
(25:20):
want to live in.
And I had to first I go throughmy process identify what it is
that I want in my environment.
Then I identify what I don'twant in my environment.
What are some of the traitsthat have been toxic for me in
the past?
So, like going throughhardships and trials, they'll
tell you what you don't want inyour environment.
Yes, real quick, because you'relike whoa, I do not want this.
(25:41):
But then there's yeah.
Then someplace in the middle youkind of look at some of those
traits and you go that wasn'thealthy for me and that's me.
I'm creating this stuff becausemy personality I thought was
good for me but it's not.
And that kind of goes to theevolutionary things and it's
okay.
(26:01):
We're not going to be perfectpeople.
We're going to make mistakes,but it's learning from those
things.
Once you learn, you evolveright.
So for me, the biggest thing,for me, I'm an athlete and you
know what time it is with me.
It's time to compete.
I want to crush and dominateeverything, right, but I learned
there's spaces where that's notnecessary, like in
(26:25):
relationships.
You don't have to compete witha spouse, a girlfriend, nothing
of that, none of that.
Your friends, you don't have to.
What are you competing about?
What are you about?
What are you?
What you were, you were made tobe yourself, right?
Why are we competing?
I always felt like I had like,because competition and
comparison people separate, butfor me it was one in the same,
(26:50):
because in order to compete, Ihave to leverage.
I have to leverage this, thiscomparison of well, I'm more so,
I'm stronger than you, and no,but you're faster.
So I got to figure out a way Ican because he's faster.
I got to figure out a way I canchange something to do sports.
That's what it does to us, okay, and but I'm not going to knock
(27:13):
sports because it teaches youhow to navigate environments
like that in life, because thework environment in sports can
be the same, school can be thesame in sports.
So it taught me how to excelthrough those things.
But in my personal life, do Ireally need to be like that with
my parents?
Yeah, or your siblings.
(27:36):
Or my siblings?
Do I really have to be likethat?
No no, because in those spaces,those are personal, those are so
close and intimate.
And if you take competition andcomparison in your intimate
relationship, okay, I'm going totake it back to the Bible
because that's my foundation.
Okay, can you imagine in a wayand I'm just, this is just some
(28:01):
of those out there Job, you knowhow they said Job.
Job was arrogant in a way, yourarrogance, and this, that and
the other Job forgot who God was.
In a way, it was a competition.
He tried to.
He tried to compete with godabout his righteousness.
Well, god, I'm so righteous.
(28:22):
You know why?
Why?
Why is all this happening to me?
I'm the righteous one, yeah,and he went, went before the
judge, but he forget who he'stalking to.
It's just like like being achild, like we forget who we
talk to when our parents yeahlike it's not gonna work no, it
never does it never.
(28:43):
It never pans out.
And I think, like that's thething about our intimate spaces
like we cannot, we can't becompeting in our intimate spaces
, and so I like I post a video.
It's a like competition and Ikind of chewed on that.
I was like I probably lost somepeople with that one.
But as I started to reallythink about it, so no, like in
(29:05):
my intimate spaces I can't becompeting to.
I mean at time we got to worktogether yeah, I don't think you
lost people.
Mikita Smith (29:12):
I think what you did was challenge people, and
sometimes, when I'm challenged,I have to sit on it for a little
bit too, because I need to havea few days to see how that
shows up in my own life.
Or what am I doing?
Or, you know, does this, youknow, reflect on how I'm using
this, like, am I reallycompeting?
Am I really like, am I tryingto be somebody that I'm not in a
(29:37):
space that I don't have to be?
You know, like you said,there's a time and a place for
everything, but, and like yousaid, your intimate
relationships.
I don't have to be that person.
I can be vulnerable, you know.
I can just be myself, I can behonest and it's okay to be that
person.
Mychael King (29:57):
Absolutely.
I discovered that vulnerabilityis strength, and you know me
cause I have to learn it kind ofdifficultly because of this
competent, like this competitivenature or this, and it comes
off prideful and arrogance andall the same thing.
Right, because I'm right.
I'm always right, you know, Ibelieve I'm right and I'm going
(30:20):
to compete with you that I'mright.
Okay, and so, because it'sbecause it and it almost comes
off like stubborn, you know, andso vulnerability is is strength
too.
Um, and being incrediblyvulnerable requires humility.
(30:41):
You can't be vulnerable withoutbeing humble, and humility, for
me at times, is just listening,it's not having anything to say
.
Mikita Smith (30:55):
It scares people for me, when, when, when I get
quiet, people are like what'swrong with you, are you okay?
You upset?
It's like, no, I'm listening toyou, like I'm just trying to
show up in this space, in thismoment, as a person that's just
listening and hearing not justeverything that you're saying,
but I'm paying attention to bodylanguage, all the things that
(31:17):
you're not saying, because I'mtrying to create this new
environment where it's not justme being the one that's talking,
but it's me showing you that Isee you, I hear you and I'm here
for you.
I want that environment too,and if I start showing it, then
I can create it.
Mychael King (31:35):
Right, might take you off a little path here, but
do you remember the principle ofthe seed and the sower?
Mikita Smith (31:42):
Yes.
Mychael King (31:45):
Matthew, chapter 13.
Jesus talks about the seed andthe sower and he talks about
there's four different types ofenvironments.
I like to call it you have thepath where the seed falls on the
path right, and for me the seedis not necessarily me, but it's
my intentions, it's what Iintend to do right and they fall
(32:08):
on this path.
And sometimes you know somebodyelse will eat your intentions,
just like wait a minute.
That didn't even have time togrow, just like wait a minute.
That didn't even have time togrow, like what?
And it's it was the environmentthat it fell into.
It fell into a room wherepeople just eat, eat up your
intentions and move about theirbusiness right, and sometimes
(32:29):
you, your your intentions willfall onto these places that are
full of rocks.
Right, it's full of rocks, butthere's a little bit of dirt
there and it'll seep in.
But then you know, it'll grow alittle bit, but then all of a
sudden, the attention just dieshort-lived, right, because it
didn't have any roots.
And the third one is monk'sthorns.
(32:50):
So like the ground is good, butthere's other things that are
growing in there as well.
So like your intentions arethere, but it's surrounded by a
whole bunch of other intentions,you know.
So it just kind of gets lostevery, every day when it grows,
it gets lost in thorns.
But the good soil intention andthis I'm talking about
(33:11):
listening, still you'll catch itum, the good notice, there's
nothing else but just soil there, and I think that just which
has hit me.
When I heard you say that, Isaid oh wow, those type of
environments, with yourintentions or with what it is
that you are trying to do, theseed that you're sowing into the
(33:33):
ground, those type ofenvironments, the environment
itself is conducive for thatactual intention.
That means it's listening, it'spersonalized for you.
That's the good soil, that'swhat you know.
We could go into church on thatone, because that's what God
intended for you.
That's his space, hisenvironment.
(33:53):
He's created for you.
That's the Eden that he had forAdam.
That's the eden that he had foradam adam.
That is the garden that he, thathe created for each and every
one of us, with the intention oflife and so um, if, if we can
be conduits of spaces andenvironments like that for other
people, can you imagine howmuch they will grow?
Mikita Smith (34:18):
Possibilities are endless.
Mychael King (34:23):
They'll develop, they'll grow into trees, and
that's what we want.
We want long roots and it'lltake its time.
That's why there's a sayinggoing around now that you only
want to speak 20% of the timeand listen 80% of the time.
And that's what leadership is.
We think leadership is goingforth and doing all the work,
(34:44):
but it's not.
It's not you putting your handsphysically on things.
It's how you can create spacesin your life.
Create these spaces andenvironments for other people to
thrive.
It's not about you, and that'shumbling for a prideful person.
Mikita Smith (35:03):
That's very humbling for a prideful person,
honestly, because when you takeout the, take you out of the
equation and be intentionalabout the environment you're
trying to set up and the seedsthat you're planting and just
like any seed, it takes time.
You have to nurture the seed.
You have to make sure that soilthat you're nurturing it in is
(35:29):
soil conducive for growth.
Mychael King (35:33):
And developmental process is painful process.
It's the most painful thing andit depends on your personality.
Some people are so and this isanother part like you can get
really anxiety, you can haveanxiety, you can have depression
or you can have, you know, amultitude of different types of
things going on, but like peoplewho can't wait right.
(35:57):
That's, that's the killer withdevelopment, because some people
grow quick, their rates ofgrowth is fast because they're
just capacities high and theygrow right away like dang man,
what happened in like two months?
because you look at like these,these, these athletes and they
just mature at different rates.
Like LeBron James came inalready a pro he was a pro in
(36:21):
high school.
Mikita Smith (36:22):
I remember his first game with Cleveland.
It was like he had been playingforever.
Mychael King (36:27):
You're like man, this cat, he can play any
position he wants.
He can start off as a pointguard and then move to a center
as he gets older.
That's exactly what happened.
And you look at these peoplewho develop like that and they
were just gifted, blessed by thebest, but those who are not.
(36:49):
That's the challenge.
You can't just put them in thesoil and expect them to happen
right away.
Some of us peak in our like 40s.
Look at samuel jackson.
You know, you know there'speople like that.
Don't hit it till late.
They're older men.
(37:10):
You know older women that arelike wow, where have you been
violola Davis, where's she beenat?
She's killing it later.
You know what I mean?
She's killing it.
It's just that it wasn't.
It's the whole timing piece,right?
There's a timing for everything, and it may not be your time
(37:30):
right now, but when it is yourtime.
Mikita Smith (37:34):
It's your time, it is your time.
Yes, I always feel that way andI always feel like, too, like
there's some lessons or you knowsome things I still need to
discover or that you may stillneed to discover, that you maybe
some truths that you're notready to dive into, because you
know we have this thing where wewant growth and we want change,
(37:56):
like you say.
You know, because we have thisthing where we want growth and
we want change.
Like you say, we get impatient,but then we want to do it our
way as well.
I know God told me I shouldtake this path and go this way.
I've said I listened, I knowwhat he want me to do, but I go
this way.
It'll be easier.
I don't have to put myself outthere as much, I don't have to
(38:19):
worry about some of thesefeelings and these emotions that
keep popping up about going theway he told me to go.
So I think sometimes we have tolearn those lessons and we have
to have that faith, and not justfaith in God, but we have to
have faith in ourselves too,because if you don't trust
yourself, you don't trust thatintuition that he's giving you,
(38:43):
then you can't trust the paththat he's putting you on.
So you got to go back to thefoundation of faith and trusting
and being willing to be thatperson that I'm going to be all
in.
I'm going to trust all in.
I'm going to show up all theway, not just halfway.
I'm going to trust all in.
I'm going to show up all theway, not just halfway.
And we talked about you, talkedabout reading and learning.
(39:04):
It's funny because I toldsomeone the other day.
I was like you know what I feellike we are one book away, or
one person away from having abreakthrough, from having
someone say something to us.
Whether you're in church,whether it's the stranger
whether it's picking up a book,you are one truth away from
(39:26):
having an open to thepossibility.
Mychael King (39:28):
Yeah, and that's funny because when you go back
to the principle of the seed andthe sower, the farmer was
scattering seed.
That means he had intention foreverything to grow, but where
it landed he didn't have anycontrol over.
And so what does that mean?
The work either way, it takessome type of work or effort.
(39:50):
You can't just sit there.
Yeah, I mean you have to dealwith your situation as it comes.
Also, we can get into this.
So every seed that was was wasscattered, grew.
It served its purpose.
It's still.
It's still fulfilled itspurpose.
Right, and even though you maynot have control over the
(40:14):
environment that you'recurrently in, you still can grow
in that environment.
Let's talk about that piece.
You still can grow in anenvironment with a room full of
intentions.
Mikita Smith (40:30):
Okay, yeah, that's a good one, Because sometimes
you know people let theirsituations or they feel hopeless
in their situations and theyfeel like you know this
opportunity isn't for me, so Iwould love for you to speak on
that.
Mychael King (40:46):
So I often look at the path right, the seed that
fell on the path.
That seed was for the animal.
It wasn't necessarily for theground or for it to grow.
It was for food for that animal.
It wasn't necessarily for theground or for it to grow, as for
it, it was for food for thatanimal that ate it.
So it was the intention was forsomeone else.
So the animal grew because ithad the calories that the seed
(41:10):
provided.
Yeah.
You know that bird got to livean extra, you know, couple of
days or years, you know becausethat might be the only food it
had.
So the intention was alwaysgood.
The rocky places maybe it onlyneeded to serve its purpose for
that long.
Maybe the purpose was it for itto be in that rocky place, to
(41:34):
be the light in that place, butonly short-lived it.
For it to be in that rockyplace, to be the light in that
place, but only short-lived.
The one full of thorns you'reputting good seed in a room full
of thorns.
So the thorns may learnsomething from that intention.
Yeah, it gets choked outbecause whatever.
But I think that Jesus couldhave been the seed in the room
(41:54):
full of thorns too, because, youlook at it, they choked him out
, they basically beat him todeath.
But that was the purpose.
You know what I mean.
He went in a room full of thornsthrough Pharisees and Sadducees
and they didn't agree and theybattled, battled back and forth,
to the point Jesus was like,listen, I'm going to go live
(42:16):
over here, because even thepeople in my hometown I'm not,
I'm not, you know, I'm notgetting through.
So I'm going to go live by theriver, in the valley, where it's
peaceful for this time, and I'mgoing to preach the gospel and
I'm going to.
I'm going to talk about thekingdom of God.
That's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to talk about thekingdom of God here.
(42:38):
These people are going to eatit up.
They're Gentiles and not evenJews, and that was my good soil
place, right.
Yeah.
So I think the beauty of it isthat we have the power to
actually change locations.
We have dominion to actuallychange.
We have the dominion toactually seek the type of
(43:00):
environments that we want to bearound, and you know when you're
in a good environment.
You just know it.
We have a saying you arecelebrated in those environments
and not tolerated in thoseenvironments.
You know when someone justtolerated you you can feel it.
You can feel it.
You can feel it down into yourelbows, like, oh, I don't know,
(43:21):
that person just doesn't like meand you're always thinking of
an escape, like can't be herelong, right, gotta go find me
something else, this ain't gonnawork I got another maybe a
couple months right.
Can you imagine if we lived ourlives in a way where we we
didn't have to go through thatwaiting process, like, oh, I'm
(43:43):
just going to stay here untilsomething else come?
Could you imagine if youimmediately hit a room and said,
nope, this ain't it, this ain'tit.
I think maturity happens whenyou start to realize those
environments that are for youand the ones that are not for
you.
Mikita Smith (44:01):
And once you get to that maturity, honestly you
will walk in that room, in thatplace and you will say that's
okay, I'll pass on thisopportunity.
Maybe this is somebody else'sblessing, but it ain't mine.
So good luck, not for me.
I've done it.
I've done it Like he's like.
No, that's okay.
No, I'm not going to be in thisspace.
Mychael King (44:24):
Yeah, and you got to be careful of having like
this, this God complex too, likethis, this self-righteous
complex, where you'll stay inthat situation thinking that you
can fix it.
Mikita Smith (44:37):
Or nobody's going to run me out of it oh yeah run
me off that's you're.
Mychael King (44:42):
You're in thorns.
Why are you gonna get chokedout?
These, it's, it's the massesagainst you.
Like get out of there.
Mikita Smith (44:48):
You are not jesus and and to add to that another
thing is um, I like to I thinkabout you is you talked a little
bit about our words having thatpower to manifest and you can
speak your intentions or reality, and sometimes we speak
(45:12):
something that we are not beingintentional about.
So when we ask for things andhonestly I can say I'm an
example of that I've asked to bein places and for things to
happen and not being intentionalabout what it is that I'm
looking for, what it is I want,and then you end up in a space
that's not for you, that you'rejust saying things or just doing
(45:36):
things without not beingintentional about them.
Then you get there and you'relike, oh, this is not what I
asked for.
Mychael King (45:42):
This is not what I wanted.
You know, that's kind of.
It kind of branches off what Isaid.
The last thing I said is likewhen I say you're not Jesus,
you're not Jesus without Jesus.
So in those moments you'regoing to need Jesus.
So in those moments you'regoing to need Jesus, you're
going to need some supernaturalto get you through that period.
(46:05):
Because you asked for this.
Remember life and death is inthe power of the tongue, and
then if you proclaim something,you ask God, he's going to give
it to you when he serves it toyou.
Now you have to walk throughthis thing because this is what
you wanted, this is what youwanted, and I think sometimes we
back out.
But there's a blessing insometimes going through it too,
(46:26):
because you learn more of whatit is that you don't want in
that environment based off ofthat.
But also sometimes, sometimesit's not clear Like you could.
You can be in the rightenvironment but feel like you're
in the wrong one.
Can you imagine being the seedin good soil and just like
nothing's happening?
Like I'm just sitting in thissoil and nothing's happening.
(46:52):
Why is nothing happening?
You're sitting there baking, ohyeah, all right.
Well, guess, god, you put mehere.
I asked for this place, but man, nothing, nothing's happening.
It's just kind of going aboutlife.
It's just kind of content mostpeople aren't used to peace
(47:17):
that's true it's not used topeace.
You think that.
You think that everything hasto run it'll be hard.
Mikita Smith (47:25):
It doesn't have to be hard.
Mychael King (47:26):
No, it doesn't have to be hard the days are
evil, right, they're hard right.
But, man, when god really givesyou that peace, it's gonna feel
like nothing's happening.
You know we're not used to that.
Covid gave us a glimpse of itand I think it kind of reminded
us of we are a little bit toobusy as a society.
(47:50):
Slow it down.
Slow it down Because we'vecreated this system and I'll get
off topic with this one butwe've created such a system of
chaos that we've realized thatanxiety is so high amongst
everybody.
We have leaders that areanxious how can you lead me when
(48:12):
you can't even be patient?
And then we have leaders thatare depressed.
How can you lead me when you're?
You're so sorrowful all thetime, or looking in the past and
what was?
You have no vision no we'rebroken.
(48:33):
We are the blind leading theblind, because we're literally
we're not peaceful we I say we,I'm not talking about everybody,
but the people that aresuffering, broken and they're
given these seats ofadministration and even in our
political, to make decisions foreverybody.
Who vetted this?
(48:55):
Yeah, and that's a lot of brokenpeople there's so many broken
people, so many broken people,and then, with the
deconstruction of our religionand our morals, the
deconstruction of that stuff, um, and our generation is left to
try to build it back to sometype of standard, and I think
(49:17):
we're challenged with what doesthat standard look like now?
And that's why creating thisenvironment you want to live in
is so important, because to getpeople to agree on this is going
to be where the work is movingforward.
Yes.
And now we have so manydifferent changes in our norms.
Yes, are different.
(49:38):
It's not just black and whiteanymore.
It is blue, green, yellow.
Speaker 3 (49:45):
It's the whole colors , it's the whole spectrum.
It's so different.
Mychael King (49:48):
Yeah, and you have to know who you are in this and
where you stand and what yourintentions are and your mission.
What's your mission, what'syour vision?
And if you stand on that,you'll be good to go.
We're good to go.
Mikita Smith (50:10):
Well, I must say, this has been such a beautiful
conversation but you know, as weclose today's episode, I would
like to ask you how are youredefining what it means to live
life unapologetically, on yourterms, when you're talking about
creating the life you want?
There is a phase of that whereyou have to be unapologetic
about it and just stand in thattruthfulness of, yeah, this is
(50:35):
what it is.
And we talk about change.
We are sort of at this point ofredefining that change and what
that means and what it feelslike, what it looks like, and
I'm just curious as to how youfeel like that is showing up or
how you're doing that.
Mychael King (50:51):
Well, make real change.
Make change real.
The process is beautiful.
Empower your mentality to makereal change in the world.
So that's where that stands.
I have to remind myself of thatstatement every day, Every day
when I'm thinking, think aboutmaking real changes.
(51:15):
Real changes are things thatare measurable.
How can I measure?
It's got to be something thatcan measure, but it also has to
be something that people canaccomplish, or that I can
accomplish.
I can't just do something thatI can't accomplish.
You know what I mean.
It's like me buying a housewith no money.
I don't even have, I'm not evenpre-qualified.
(51:39):
What am I looking at houses for?
You got to get apre-qualification first, or you
got to have a large down payment, or you got to have the money
you know, make it realistic,give it something that you can
measure.
Um, but to kind of, but to kindof look at like what I'm, you
know, personally doing is likeI've invested so much into my
(52:03):
personal development and thatit's painful, I'm kind of sick
in a way.
I want to be as uncomfortableas I possibly can be without
causing anxiety.
You know, just kind of ahealthy uncomfortability.
Sometimes it's unhealthy tojust be busy all the time to
(52:24):
where it causes anxiety.
But no, the cost.
I've invested thousands ofdollars literally into my
personal development.
Now you may not have a thousanddollars, but you can definitely
look at a YouTube or a podcastor something that's free
resources, or a podcast orsomething that's free resources.
I do that too.
I spend a lot of my timelistening to Tim Ross, dr Ramon
(52:46):
Glenn.
I spend a lot of time at church.
I joined a cohort.
I look at military to get someof the political insights.
So Sean Ryan, his podcast, tdJakes you know a lot of those
(53:07):
people that talk aboutleadership, but also from a
kingdom standpoint, because youknow that's just where my
foundation is.
I can keep naming podcasts, youknow, and then and then you
know there's a whole, there's awhole plethora of those.
I look at it hardly initiated.
They talk about relationshipsfrom various, various
perspectives.
There's a lot of differentpeople out there that are doing
(53:28):
great work in this space.
It's free.
It's this free game.
If I wanted to build a business, I can go to YouTube and say
how do I build a business?
And they'll give you a freegame.
How do I start my business?
They give you free game.
How do I break down my clips?
Free game.
(53:49):
So a lot of your personaldevelopment has to do with what
you expose yourself to as well.
So I've really filtered what itis that I expose myself to, and
the people too, and certainpeople, certain environments,
and I might spend less time inenvironments because I don't
want to ruin my relationships.
Another thing that I've alsobeen intentional about is my
(54:12):
communication, how I communicate.
I kind of want to touch on thattoday anyway, because you have
to maintain relationships.
You can't do this by yourself.
I was under the impression thatI could do things by myself, but
I realized I cannot do it alone.
Why do you think God gave AdamEve?
(54:33):
He's like wait, there's nothingof your kind, and Adam seems a
little bit depressed.
What's going on?
So he created Eve, he saidlisten, it's not good for man to
be all alone, all one.
That's just not healthy.
I didn't create mankind forthis.
(54:53):
So that's something I have todeal with because I think I can
do it all by myself.
I really have convinced myselfI can do this by myself.
I can do it all by myself.
I really have convinced myselfI can do this by myself, I can
do it by myself.
But then everything in me tellsme you cannot.
You know what I mean.
So I have to work on mycommunication skills, and how to
(55:16):
navigate conflict was thebiggest thing how to have
crucial conversations.
And that's a book that I readand it's a life-changing novel.
If you haven't, go buy it.
If you want to start, startwith your communication Because,
like I said, words, there'slife and death in the power of
your tongue.
(55:36):
And that book gives you thetools on how to do it and how to
do it effectively.
I mean, it gives you a lot ofdialogue, but once you get
through it and you realize that,so just kind of I don't know if
we have time, but speaking fromthe heart was the one that that
(55:57):
just made sense to me haveheartfelt conversations and
knowing exactly what it is thatyou want.
When you talk to people, juststay there and stay on the facts
.
Don't create stories.
Stay with the facts.
Stick to what it is that youknow.
Have the conversation and speakfrom your heart.
(56:19):
Speak from your intentions.
What do you intend to do?
When you do that, you haveclearer conversations and even
in the road of conflict, you'reable to walk through it without
the emotion.
It's just all communication,especially in the workplace,
that's so important, especiallywith your boss, your manager.
(56:40):
They ask you questions.
You just tell them the factsand don't take it too personal,
which is hard to do.
You just don't like me.
Oh, your tone of voice was too,too rough.
Yeah, you know, like, but whenyou have a relationship with
(57:02):
someone, you realize that that'swho they are.
Yeah, they're a hothead.
So how do you deal with ahothead?
You know they're a hothead.
That's what makes thisimportant, and that's what I've
personally been doing is workingon how I communicate the videos
that I post has been part of mydevelopment plan was to reflect
(57:26):
, and so a lot of what you'regetting is this authenticity of
what it is that I'm learning.
So real time real time, realtime so.
Mikita Smith (57:41):
I like that.
Well, tell people where theycan find you and they can learn
more about what you're doingyour business coaching, and then
they can get some insight intogetting to know you through your
videos.
Mychael King (57:54):
Yeah, so you know you can follow me on TikTok,
instagram at Coach King, andthen the I is a one in G.
That's on Instagram, coach King.
Well, coach King, the one, theI is one, and then it's 989 on
the end.
That's my Instagram page.
(58:16):
You can find me on YouTube atMake Real Change, and it's no
spaces.
So I plan on doing a few otherthings with that project, but so
that's pretty much.
You're going to get most of thevideos from Instagram on the
Make Real Change YouTube, butit's also links all over my
social medias.
You can also Facebook CoachKing.
(58:39):
You'll see Make Real Change,make Change Real.
You see a big logo with a crownin the middle.
It's red.
So that's my page.
I'm on Twitter, but I'm not onTwitter.
That makes sense.
But, yeah, mainly just Facebook.
But I do have a website and thewebsite is up.
I do sell merch on the website,but also, ultimately, I do have
(59:03):
, like this program calledtransform.
It is for physical health, soyou will, you know, working out
diet, nutrition, that kind ofthing.
It's a monthly subscription.
It's not very costly at all.
It's like $15 a month and youget everything that you can
imagine, from nutrition toexercise daily to just kind of
(59:24):
like questions that you cananswer at the end of the day and
it's all done on the websiteand you can.
You can reach that atcoachking1989.com and go there
and yeah, just kind of explorethe page and you know there's an
about me section.
So I mean there's, there's afew things.
Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'mnot used to promo, promoing
(59:49):
myself like that I'm.
I'm usually the person thatsits, uh, under the radar.
Mikita Smith (59:57):
That's all right.
I definitely know how thatfeels sometimes not being on it,
does it?
But for all of you who arelistening, if you don't have
your pen and pencil ready,that's okay.
All of this information will bein the show notes for you so
you can connect and learn moreabout how you can start creating
change in your own life, whichis something I think we're all
trying to do on this journey oflife, think we're all trying to
(01:00:19):
do on this journey of life.
Mychael King (01:00:21):
Well, thank you so much for being here for sharing
your space and your insightwith me and all these amazing
listeners today.
Thanks for having me.
I really appreciate thisopportunity.
I mean, I jumped at it as myfirst one, so I pray that it
(01:00:42):
blessed whoever's listening.
I pray that people are startingto empower themselves and that
their minds have been changedjust because of the conversation
we had today.
You know, take it for what itis, at face value, but also take
it away with the challenge.
Challenge to just discover whoyou are and to make the change
that you need to make.
(01:01:02):
Not all change is good, butreally really dive into, lean
into it, because it'll changeyour life and the people around
you as well, and the perspectiveof you too.
So it's a beautiful thing whenit happens.
That's why the process isbeautiful.
Mikita Smith (01:01:19):
Exactly.
All right, you guys.
That's all the tea that we haveto spill today.
If you've enjoyed ourconversation, please consider
leaving a review and sharingthis episode with someone who
might find it inspiring.
Remember to tune in each andevery Tuesday for more insights.
Until next time, my friendsNamaste.
I go through my process.
I identify what it is that Iwant in my environment.
Then I identify what I don'twant in my environment.
What are some of the traitsthat have been toxic for me in
the past?
So, like going throughhardships and trials, they'll
tell you what you don't want inyour environment.
Mikita Smith (00:18):
Hey there, I'm Makita, a small town girl with
dreams who started a podcastwith an old headset and a laptop
at my kitchen table and made mydreams come true.
On my podcast, time for Teawith Nikita, we chat about
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(00:39):
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This is your one-stop shop forreal conversations and
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So grab your cup of tea orcoffee and get comfy, because
(01:05):
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(01:26):
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level.
Welcome back.
It is definitely time for sometea.
I am Makita.
Thank you so much for sharingyour time, your space and your
energy with me today as weexplore today's conversation.
We're talking about creating thelife you want to live in, and
it reminds me of this quote byEleanor Roosevelt that said the
(01:49):
future belongs to those whobelieve in the beauty of their
dreams and honestly, I don'tthink that could be even more
true today.
So I want to welcome today'sguest, michael King.
He is a dedicated father,author and mental health coach
who combines his rich backgroundin exercise, science and health
(02:11):
services to empower individualsat Coach King 1989 LLC.
Michael's journeys from MidlandMichigan to impacting lives in
Omaha, nebraska embodies hismission, and his statement is
one that, as I was saying it andlistening to it, I was just
like how true is this when we'retalking about creating the life
(02:34):
you want to live in?
His slogan is make real change.
Make change real.
So, michael, welcome and thankyou real.
Mychael King (02:49):
So, michael, welcome and thank you.
Thanks for having me.
I'm just so honored to be apart of your podcast.
I mean, we're family, right, sothis is just amazing.
So thank you.
Mikita Smith (02:57):
And that's true.
We are family and it's justamazing.
As I was sitting there talkingto Sam, we've been watching your
videos and they're so like,inspiring, and every time I
listen to you talk it's alwayslike I'm learning something you
know, and what keeps peoplecoming back is the fact that
(03:18):
they're getting information tohelp them with their growth and
evolution and transformation,and I feel like you embody that.
Mychael King (03:26):
Yeah, thank you.
It actually comes from apersonal discovery of myself,
learning to master myself,learning who I am, who I am, who
God created me to be, andbecoming that.
I often pray Lord, let me bewho you see me as.
(03:48):
Who do you see me as?
That's who I want to become,and the inspiration is not like
it's intentional, it's just I'mtalking and trying to inspire
myself.
So if I can inspire myselffirst and trying to inspire
myself, so if I can inspiremyself first, I know I can
(04:08):
inspire someone else.
And the intention is really tohelp me get through times in my
life.
I've challenged myself toreflect on everything that I do
every day and that's helped mebuild charisma, confidence and
actually kind of look inward alot, and self-reflection is one
of those tools that we use tobuild our emotional intelligence
(04:33):
, and so I do a ton ofreflection.
I am, if you were to do like apersonality assessment, I'm a
person that can go either way,like I can be introverted or I
can be extremely extroverted,and I found out that they call
me the quiet enthusiast.
(04:54):
So a person I'm not going to bethe person that's going to be,
try to be the center ofattention and I'm not going to
be the person that's going to becompletely reserved.
I'm going to be the person that, if you ask me something, oh,
you're going to get straight up,talk, talk, talk, talk.
I'm going to talk your ear off,but also, in a room full of
people who are extroverts, Iwill tend to listen and observe.
(05:17):
So I'm the quiet enthusiastthat explains me.
So, some of the negative notnegative um, some of the some of
the negative um, not negativetraits, but some of the things
that might off put people isthey don't know how to read a
person like me.
They might think that I don'tlike them.
They might think that I'm likeoutstanding or offstanding, but
really I'm just listening.
(05:37):
I really am, um, just trying tounderstand who they are.
I'm trying to read the room andI know that about myself.
And I think that brings me backto the point of when you're
trying to create something oryou're trying to inspire
somebody to do something, youhave to know who you are.
That's so important.
(06:00):
This personal discovery didn'thappen just by happenstance when
I moved out to Omaha.
This personal discovery didn'thappen just by happenstance when
I moved out to Omaha, um, Igave, I became a part of a
church.
That that's what they do.
Um, you know, we talk about thekingdom.
Um, dr Martin, um, and abachelor's worship center shout
out to them, um, our lead pastor, pastor Joshua, they just
they're all about environment,developing people.
(06:21):
So, by happenstance, you go andyou join some spiritual place
that does that.
You will begin to do that aswell.
And so when I signed up forShake the Nations, I went into.
It's a conference they do everyyear in the fall and it's about
(06:42):
deploying, and then also what'sthe other one?
You know what?
It's okay, it'll come to me, Iswear, I swear, I swear.
Still morning time, my brain'swaking up, but yeah, it's
literally three days and youbasically just discover who you
(07:08):
are, discover your missionstatement, personal mission
statements, how do you want tolead your family?
How do you want to lead yourfinances?
I go to a church where they askthose questions all the time,
because the kingdom of God is-.
Mikita Smith (07:21):
And it challenges you to answer them.
Mychael King (07:23):
Yes.
Mikita Smith (07:24):
Because it's funny , because, uh, sam used to ask
me this question all the time hewould say, if you could start a
business, um, and you know whatwould it be.
And the first time he said it Iwas like, well, how are you
asking me that?
Like I have no in my mind.
I had nothing that would anyonewould would want to, like,
purchase anything from me.
(07:45):
Like, how would?
I can't make anything, I don'treally cook, okay, but I don't
know if I can make a living offof it.
You know, like I can't.
So, like it was just like, andhe just kept like, every once in
a while he would ask me thatquestion and unknowingly,
subconsciously, I was thinkingabout it.
Like what would I do If I couldstart my own business, if I
(08:06):
could do anything in this world,what would I want to do?
And it started this whole.
Like you say self-reflection,sitting with yourself asking
yourself those questions.
Like you know, how do I seemyself, what's my mission
statement, how do I want to befinancially in the future?
Like, what legacy or whatteachings we want to share with
our kids and what people we wantaround us in our space?
(08:28):
Like, what type of energy isthat?
And you start to really look atyour life in a different way.
Mychael King (08:36):
Absolutely and like personally personal
discovery, I think.
I think there's a lot of keys.
You need people.
I didn't understand theimportance of submission and
submitting myself to elders,people who are wiser than me,
(08:56):
leadership coaches.
So at STN, dr Martin challengedus with those questions of
discovery and in that I foundout that I had such a barrier
Because once you hit a certainage I think above the age of
like 12 or something like thateverything that you've learned
(09:18):
already it's just harddevelopmentally.
It's just hard developmentally.
I'm also reading this book.
I read a book called Immunity toChange and what they say is, as
you grow, your mental capacitystarts to plateau.
So you get to these certainareas and points in your life
and you start to plateau on whatyou are actually able to absorb
(09:40):
and we have to actuallychallenge ourselves to actually
break those plateaus.
Same thing in weightlifting youcan get so strong and then all
of a sudden you hit this pointwhere you just can't go anymore.
Our bodies are naturallyprotective, our minds are
naturally protective.
There's a lot of things that wedo.
(10:01):
I don't know.
Our mechanism is to protect anykind of pain In order to push
past plateaus.
It's painful, so literally tohave to discover who I am.
I had to go back to years andpretty much look at everything
that I have been doingsubconsciously.
(10:22):
What have I subconsciously beendoing for the past 30 years?
And that was painful.
That was so painful to have todecide on that.
That was the last D, by the way, is decide.
So it's discover, decide andthen deploy your talent.
So we had to.
We go through this whole thingat STN.
(10:42):
So, if anybody's out therelistening, come to Omaha,
nebraska, sign up for ShakeNations.
That's my shameless plugs.
Sorry, I didn't know, I didn'ttell you about that, but that
was going to do that Anyway.
So, anyway, once you discover,then you decide.
And so I had to make thisdecision in my brain and said,
hey, who, who am I and what isit that I do?
(11:06):
And it was all helter skelterat first.
But I looked at you know, whatwas I really good at?
What is my talents, what are mystrengths?
Um, and I had been a personaltrainer for 10 years and and I
had to, like, dive into whatmade me a good trainer.
You know, people always saidwhat do people say?
What do I think?
(11:26):
You know, whenever you look atsomething, you have to look at
it from a holistic standpoint.
So like.
That's hard.
If you only see yourself fromone particular mindset, if you
only see yourself from whatpeople tell you, that's a
socialized mindset.
Society will dictate who youare.
(11:46):
That is a very dangerous placeto be.
For years I operated in that myearly years, adolescence to
parts of college.
People tell you oh, your momeven tells you you're going to
be a doctor.
Ooh, look at my baby, she gotthe doctor's hands or he got the
(12:06):
doctor's hand.
Our parents socialize us right.
They tell us who we're going tobe and we don't even realize it
.
So in our minds we have thisarea of potential.
We're trying to live up to whattheir expectations are and
(12:27):
oftentimes I mean I'm preachingto parents, I'm preaching to
children and even adults who arestill trying to please their
parents.
I'm still trying to make myparents happy but, now it's not
making them happy.
It's different.
It's different now that I'vediscovered that, because now
(12:49):
that I've discovered that, Irealized they were just throwing
out options, but they werethrowing out the best options.
A doctor is the highest you canget right.
They want you to to shoot forthe moon.
I think.
I think, now that our world haschanged and now that we've
become more educated, I believe,now that I know that I can now
(13:14):
parent my son to say listen, ifyou're going to be a police
officer, try to be the chief, gofrom the top.
What does it take to be at thevery top?
Because obviously we want to besuccessful at what we do, but
we also also want to be the bestat what we do.
Yeah, and I think you know it'sfunny.
Mikita Smith (13:31):
You said that because I told my daughter she's
in college right now, myyoungest and I said you know you
may not see the career that youwant out here, but that doesn't
mean you can't create it.
Think outside the box.
You can create the career thatyou want.
It doesn't have to have a name.
(13:52):
Give it a name.
Think about it.
You can do whatever.
Give it a name and it's yours.
Mychael King (13:58):
So God made us in this image and his likeness.
So when we speak something andwe proclaim something, there's
power in that.
So encouraging your kids to saywhat it is that they want is
empowerment.
So that's the first part of mytagline.
(14:20):
But first you have to changethe mindset.
And that's what you did withyour daughter.
You said make real change, makereal change, make real change,
make real change.
I said my son, make real change, son.
But then you got to make itreal to you.
And when you change that stateand you get a reciprocal, you
(14:41):
make it real to them thementality to make real change.
So it's so powerful, your words.
That is where you want to start.
But I take a step further and goeven deeper.
It starts with your thoughts.
(15:02):
It starts with your thoughts.
So your thoughts dictate whatcomes out of you and if you can
learn to craft and master yourthoughts, you will conquer
yourself.
You know, in the Bible theytalk about the battle between
(15:32):
the flesh and the spirit andbeing led by the spirit.
And then also, you know, jesussaid repent, or John the Baptist
said repent, for the kingdom ofheaven is at hand, right.
Well, when I came into Omahaand when I came into
rededicating my life to Christ,I realized that this word repent
means change your mind, changedirection.
And so I've also heard adefinition of sin is just
missing the mark.
We often look at it as afleshly or carnal, but it's just
(15:54):
missing your purpose, missingwhat direction God is trying to
put you.
And I also want to take it astep further.
Sin is also spelled.
Exactly the same sign ofsomething is just an angle off
of the, off of a straightdirection.
(16:15):
So if you look at the sign rightway to look at it it's just,
yep, you just, you, just, it'soff focus, you're not, you're
straight.
So when Jesus said, straight isthe way, literally straight,
like you.
Straight is the way it's direct, right, there's no teetering
back and forth, the sin is likeliterally the sign off of an
(16:35):
adjacent corner.
Right, it's like literally anangle that you take.
So I was just like, wow, blewmy mind, but also not just power
, I think also Dr Martin'scrones.
I'm going to steal it from him.
He said ignorance is our worstenemy and really getting to know
(17:06):
who you are discovering thosethings, deciding, and I think I
want to.
We're talking about creating anenvironment that you want to
live in.
I think we start with personaldiscovery.
Once you know yourself, thenyou can decide on what you want
to take.
And I chose mental healthcoaching because I've been doing
a lot of personal training.
I know how to get someone'sphysical right, but I had to
(17:29):
dive deeper into how I did it.
What was my process of doingthat?
And I educate.
So one of my gifts is reallybecause I'm a knowledge junkie.
I eat on just random facts.
People are like man, why do youknow so much stuff?
Like I don't know, I just getinto it, you know, and so
(17:52):
because of that I know in allour family we come from a family
of teachers too.
So I know my mother's side.
We're school teachers all theway in the in, all up and
through the bloodline.
So they're all teachers.
I inherited it.
I'm sorry, you know I'veinherited that and that's also
part of knowing who you are.
(18:12):
Like I knew.
I knew I had teachers in myfamily, so I took a personal
training route of teaching andeducating them with the goal
that they didn't need me anymore.
The goal was to train a personso that they could do this for
themselves by themselves.
I feel like if you needed me, Iwasn't doing my job.
Mikita Smith (18:36):
Yeah.
Mychael King (18:38):
I wanted to teach myself.
So I wanted to teach my clientsto the point where I was
irrelevant, because independenceis survival for them.
You know what I mean.
I wanted to teach my clients tothe point where I was
irrelevant, because independenceis survival for them.
You know what I mean.
Like the freedom that they haveto make these healthy choices
now was the most important to me.
Mikita Smith (18:55):
It wasn't the money, and it's confidence too.
Mychael King (18:57):
Cause I could gouge it yeah.
Mikita Smith (19:01):
And then they get to know who they are through the
process and the journey,because it's a journey physical
health, mental health it's all ajourney of learning something
new about yourself and as youevolve um throughout the journey
, you learn.
Mychael King (19:16):
It's a it's like a constant evolution, though
right like you're constantlyevolving you know the constant,
the constant evolution withinthe environment, I mean within
your life.
That's, that's the conditioningand that's why it's so
important to monitor every stageof your being.
(19:40):
You know what I mean by hismind, body and soul.
You have to monitor thatbecause a lot of stuff that you
expose yourself to isn't goodfor you, a lot of places that
you go in your development isn'tgood for you.
Not all change is good, not allchange is good.
So, because you can have, youcould be on a good path, but
(20:01):
change your mind and go backinto a wrong path.
You know it's like people whorelapse on addiction, like you
know.
Let's say you're an alcoholic.
Well, you make your mind up,you change right, but then you
decide to get back into it andyou relapse.
Or let's say you've never takena drink and then the first time
you do you're like, oh, it'sfine.
(20:23):
Or you do some type of harddrug.
The next thing you know you'reinto this path of addiction,
that you didn't even realize it.
But that was a change.
Those are negative changes.
So positive changes, those arethose things that set your life
on the course of your destinyand your purpose.
So that's why it goes back toknowing who you are.
(20:44):
So you have to always startwith ground.
One check your foundationsfirst.
Start with the ground.
One check your foundation, makesure that everything lines up.
Then, when you make thatdecision, now you've decided on
which path you want to go,everything has to align itself
with that decision that you makein the positive direction and
(21:06):
then you can deploy it.
And I actually have athree-stage thing that I go
through.
It's correction, function andperformance.
So the correction is that firstpart.
It's like finding yourself makethat correction, make those
changes that you need to make,then function at it.
Same thing as making thatdecision.
(21:27):
Now you're functioning, nowyou're actively working at it.
They've gotten to the point offunctioning, to the point where
you can all right, what's next?
What's next?
For me?
That's that final stage of thiskind of process in your life
that you're trying to go through.
I use also correct function,perform with my athletes or with
(21:48):
my clients as well, like Icorrect any kind of malalignment
issues that they have in theirbody.
Like you have faulty issues,like my hamstring's burning.
Oh God, what's going on?
Well, you know your ankles areoff, or like your hips are not
aligned, or your posture's bador you know we have to attack
your spinal issues.
You know you have low dorsus inyour spine.
(22:09):
You have extreme kyphosis.
This way we have I'm throwingout different languages- but you
know it's funny.
Mikita Smith (22:14):
You said you said posture Cause I am constantly
all the time checking my posturewhen I'm sitting, because I
know if, if, if I start to letmy shoulders start leaning
forward or if my back isn'tstraight, I'm going to pay for
it later.
So I'm constantly like I don'tcare whether I work, I'm sitting
here behind this mic.
I'm like am I sitting up right?
(22:40):
Because when you talk aboutalignment and being aligned,
that goes with every step.
But I just want to go back,because when you talked about
the foundational piece and youwas talking about, you know,
laying that foundation, gettingto know who you are, I think
that's the hardest part becauseit comes with a lot of truths,
(23:00):
it comes with a lot of innerwork which a lot of people want
to skip that part because theyfeel like you know I'm going to
say for everybody, but for somepeople we don't want to get into
like this shame game.
Or you know, I don't want tonecessarily blame myself or
rehash old traumas that you knowcome with some of the territory
(23:21):
, rehash old traumas that youknow come with some of the
territory, but being able to,like you say, understanding the
emotional intelligence part, youknow it's not about blame, it's
not about actual.
You know people talk aboutemotional intelligence but they
don't know like it's not aboutbeing emotional, it's being able
to look at a situation you knowas a big picture, without,
(23:44):
without all the emotions, andsee it for what it is.
Mychael King (23:50):
Yeah, so I kind of want to add to that foundation.
Um, most people don't do itbecause it costs them too much.
Um, whether the discovery is anassessment to give you a
baseline of what you're thinkingabout.
(24:11):
A lot of those assessments arebasically your preferences.
They're not absolutes, butthey're a starting place.
Those assessments get to knowhow you prefer life and that's,
I realized, where I prefer life.
I prefer life this way, and ifI prefer life this way, now
(24:32):
let's apply some of the moralityand ethics that I have.
And how does that shape andhelp mold me?
Some of that cost is humilitytoo.
You know, pride gets in the waya lot of times.
We don't really want to knowbut we long for knowing.
Like there's things about methat I don't want to know but I
(24:57):
long to know it.
Um, and there are things in myenvironment like I'll share
personal things when I was inthis space of wanting to create
an environment, and how the Holyspirit hit me with that.
The Holy spirit said create anenvironment that you want to
live in.
With that, the Holy Spirit saidcreate an environment that you
(25:20):
want to live in.
And I had to first I go throughmy process identify what it is
that I want in my environment.
Then I identify what I don'twant in my environment.
What are some of the traitsthat have been toxic for me in
the past?
So, like going throughhardships and trials, they'll
tell you what you don't want inyour environment.
Yes, real quick, because you'relike whoa, I do not want this.
(25:41):
But then there's yeah.
Then someplace in the middle youkind of look at some of those
traits and you go that wasn'thealthy for me and that's me.
I'm creating this stuff becausemy personality I thought was
good for me but it's not.
And that kind of goes to theevolutionary things and it's
okay.
(26:01):
We're not going to be perfectpeople.
We're going to make mistakes,but it's learning from those
things.
Once you learn, you evolveright.
So for me, the biggest thing,for me, I'm an athlete and you
know what time it is with me.
It's time to compete.
I want to crush and dominateeverything, right, but I learned
there's spaces where that's notnecessary, like in
(26:25):
relationships.
You don't have to compete witha spouse, a girlfriend, nothing
of that, none of that.
Your friends, you don't have to.
What are you competing about?
What are you about?
What are you?
What you were, you were made tobe yourself, right?
Why are we competing?
I always felt like I had like,because competition and
comparison people separate, butfor me it was one in the same,
(26:50):
because in order to compete, Ihave to leverage.
I have to leverage this, thiscomparison of well, I'm more so,
I'm stronger than you, and no,but you're faster.
So I got to figure out a way Ican because he's faster.
I got to figure out a way I canchange something to do sports.
That's what it does to us, okay, and but I'm not going to knock
(27:13):
sports because it teaches youhow to navigate environments
like that in life, because thework environment in sports can
be the same, school can be thesame in sports.
So it taught me how to excelthrough those things.
But in my personal life, do Ireally need to be like that with
my parents?
Yeah, or your siblings.
(27:36):
Or my siblings?
Do I really have to be likethat?
No no, because in those spaces,those are personal, those are so
close and intimate.
And if you take competition andcomparison in your intimate
relationship, okay, I'm going totake it back to the Bible
because that's my foundation.
Okay, can you imagine in a wayand I'm just, this is just some
(28:01):
of those out there Job, you knowhow they said Job.
Job was arrogant in a way, yourarrogance, and this, that and
the other Job forgot who God was.
In a way, it was a competition.
He tried to.
He tried to compete with godabout his righteousness.
Well, god, I'm so righteous.
(28:22):
You know why?
Why?
Why is all this happening to me?
I'm the righteous one, yeah,and he went, went before the
judge, but he forget who he'stalking to.
It's just like like being achild, like we forget who we
talk to when our parents yeahlike it's not gonna work no, it
never does it never.
(28:43):
It never pans out.
And I think, like that's thething about our intimate spaces
like we cannot, we can't becompeting in our intimate spaces
, and so I like I post a video.
It's a like competition and Ikind of chewed on that.
I was like I probably lost somepeople with that one.
But as I started to reallythink about it, so no, like in
(29:05):
my intimate spaces I can't becompeting to.
I mean at time we got to worktogether yeah, I don't think you
lost people.
Mikita Smith (29:12):
I think what you did was challenge people, and
sometimes, when I'm challenged,I have to sit on it for a little
bit too, because I need to havea few days to see how that
shows up in my own life.
Or what am I doing?
Or, you know, does this, youknow, reflect on how I'm using
this, like, am I reallycompeting?
Am I really like, am I tryingto be somebody that I'm not in a
(29:37):
space that I don't have to be?
You know, like you said,there's a time and a place for
everything, but, and like yousaid, your intimate
relationships.
I don't have to be that person.
I can be vulnerable, you know.
I can just be myself, I can behonest and it's okay to be that
person.
Mychael King (29:57):
Absolutely.
I discovered that vulnerabilityis strength, and you know me
cause I have to learn it kind ofdifficultly because of this
competent, like this competitivenature or this, and it comes
off prideful and arrogance andall the same thing.
Right, because I'm right.
I'm always right, you know, Ibelieve I'm right and I'm going
(30:20):
to compete with you that I'mright.
Okay, and so, because it'sbecause it and it almost comes
off like stubborn, you know, andso vulnerability is is strength
too.
Um, and being incrediblyvulnerable requires humility.
(30:41):
You can't be vulnerable withoutbeing humble, and humility, for
me at times, is just listening,it's not having anything to say
.
Mikita Smith (30:55):
It scares people for me, when, when, when I get
quiet, people are like what'swrong with you, are you okay?
You upset?
It's like, no, I'm listening toyou, like I'm just trying to
show up in this space, in thismoment, as a person that's just
listening and hearing not justeverything that you're saying,
but I'm paying attention to bodylanguage, all the things that
(31:17):
you're not saying, because I'mtrying to create this new
environment where it's not justme being the one that's talking,
but it's me showing you that Isee you, I hear you and I'm here
for you.
I want that environment too,and if I start showing it, then
I can create it.
Mychael King (31:35):
Right, might take you off a little path here, but
do you remember the principle ofthe seed and the sower?
Mikita Smith (31:42):
Yes.
Mychael King (31:45):
Matthew, chapter 13.
Jesus talks about the seed andthe sower and he talks about
there's four different types ofenvironments.
I like to call it you have thepath where the seed falls on the
path right, and for me the seedis not necessarily me, but it's
my intentions, it's what Iintend to do right and they fall
(32:08):
on this path.
And sometimes you know somebodyelse will eat your intentions,
just like wait a minute.
That didn't even have time togrow, just like wait a minute.
That didn't even have time togrow, like what?
And it's it was the environmentthat it fell into.
It fell into a room wherepeople just eat, eat up your
intentions and move about theirbusiness right, and sometimes
(32:29):
you, your your intentions willfall onto these places that are
full of rocks.
Right, it's full of rocks, butthere's a little bit of dirt
there and it'll seep in.
But then you know, it'll grow alittle bit, but then all of a
sudden, the attention just dieshort-lived, right, because it
didn't have any roots.
And the third one is monk'sthorns.
(32:50):
So like the ground is good, butthere's other things that are
growing in there as well.
So like your intentions arethere, but it's surrounded by a
whole bunch of other intentions,you know.
So it just kind of gets lostevery, every day when it grows,
it gets lost in thorns.
But the good soil intention andthis I'm talking about
(33:11):
listening, still you'll catch itum, the good notice, there's
nothing else but just soil there, and I think that just which
has hit me.
When I heard you say that, Isaid oh wow, those type of
environments, with yourintentions or with what it is
that you are trying to do, theseed that you're sowing into the
(33:33):
ground, those type ofenvironments, the environment
itself is conducive for thatactual intention.
That means it's listening, it'spersonalized for you.
That's the good soil, that'swhat you know.
We could go into church on thatone, because that's what God
intended for you.
That's his space, hisenvironment.
(33:53):
He's created for you.
That's the Eden that he had forAdam.
That's the eden that he had foradam adam.
That is the garden that he, thathe created for each and every
one of us, with the intention oflife and so um, if, if we can
be conduits of spaces andenvironments like that for other
people, can you imagine howmuch they will grow?
Mikita Smith (34:18):
Possibilities are endless.
Mychael King (34:23):
They'll develop, they'll grow into trees, and
that's what we want.
We want long roots and it'lltake its time.
That's why there's a sayinggoing around now that you only
want to speak 20% of the timeand listen 80% of the time.
And that's what leadership is.
We think leadership is goingforth and doing all the work,
(34:44):
but it's not.
It's not you putting your handsphysically on things.
It's how you can create spacesin your life.
Create these spaces andenvironments for other people to
thrive.
It's not about you, and that'shumbling for a prideful person.
Mikita Smith (35:03):
That's very humbling for a prideful person,
honestly, because when you takeout the, take you out of the
equation and be intentionalabout the environment you're
trying to set up and the seedsthat you're planting and just
like any seed, it takes time.
You have to nurture the seed.
You have to make sure that soilthat you're nurturing it in is
(35:29):
soil conducive for growth.
Mychael King (35:33):
And developmental process is painful process.
It's the most painful thing andit depends on your personality.
Some people are so and this isanother part like you can get
really anxiety, you can haveanxiety, you can have depression
or you can have, you know, amultitude of different types of
things going on, but like peoplewho can't wait right.
(35:57):
That's, that's the killer withdevelopment, because some people
grow quick, their rates ofgrowth is fast because they're
just capacities high and theygrow right away like dang man,
what happened in like two months?
because you look at like these,these, these athletes and they
just mature at different rates.
Like LeBron James came inalready a pro he was a pro in
(36:21):
high school.
Mikita Smith (36:22):
I remember his first game with Cleveland.
It was like he had been playingforever.
Mychael King (36:27):
You're like man, this cat, he can play any
position he wants.
He can start off as a pointguard and then move to a center
as he gets older.
That's exactly what happened.
And you look at these peoplewho develop like that and they
were just gifted, blessed by thebest, but those who are not.
(36:49):
That's the challenge.
You can't just put them in thesoil and expect them to happen
right away.
Some of us peak in our like 40s.
Look at samuel jackson.
You know, you know there'speople like that.
Don't hit it till late.
They're older men.
(37:10):
You know older women that arelike wow, where have you been
violola Davis, where's she beenat?
She's killing it later.
You know what I mean?
She's killing it.
It's just that it wasn't.
It's the whole timing piece,right?
There's a timing for everything, and it may not be your time
(37:30):
right now, but when it is yourtime.
Mikita Smith (37:34):
It's your time, it is your time.
Yes, I always feel that way andI always feel like, too, like
there's some lessons or you knowsome things I still need to
discover or that you may stillneed to discover, that you maybe
some truths that you're notready to dive into, because you
know we have this thing where wewant growth and we want change,
(37:56):
like you say.
You know, because we have thisthing where we want growth and
we want change.
Like you say, we get impatient,but then we want to do it our
way as well.
I know God told me I shouldtake this path and go this way.
I've said I listened, I knowwhat he want me to do, but I go
this way.
It'll be easier.
I don't have to put myself outthere as much, I don't have to
(38:19):
worry about some of thesefeelings and these emotions that
keep popping up about going theway he told me to go.
So I think sometimes we have tolearn those lessons and we have
to have that faith, and not justfaith in God, but we have to
have faith in ourselves too,because if you don't trust
yourself, you don't trust thatintuition that he's giving you,
(38:43):
then you can't trust the paththat he's putting you on.
So you got to go back to thefoundation of faith and trusting
and being willing to be thatperson that I'm going to be all
in.
I'm going to trust all in.
I'm going to show up all theway, not just halfway.
I'm going to trust all in.
I'm going to show up all theway, not just halfway.
And we talked about you, talkedabout reading and learning.
(39:04):
It's funny because I toldsomeone the other day.
I was like you know what I feellike we are one book away, or
one person away from having abreakthrough, from having
someone say something to us.
Whether you're in church,whether it's the stranger
whether it's picking up a book,you are one truth away from
(39:26):
having an open to thepossibility.
Mychael King (39:28):
Yeah, and that's funny because when you go back
to the principle of the seed andthe sower, the farmer was
scattering seed.
That means he had intention foreverything to grow, but where
it landed he didn't have anycontrol over.
And so what does that mean?
The work either way, it takessome type of work or effort.
(39:50):
You can't just sit there.
Yeah, I mean you have to dealwith your situation as it comes.
Also, we can get into this.
So every seed that was was wasscattered, grew.
It served its purpose.
It's still.
It's still fulfilled itspurpose.
Right, and even though you maynot have control over the
(40:14):
environment that you'recurrently in, you still can grow
in that environment.
Let's talk about that piece.
You still can grow in anenvironment with a room full of
intentions.
Mikita Smith (40:30):
Okay, yeah, that's a good one, Because sometimes
you know people let theirsituations or they feel hopeless
in their situations and theyfeel like you know this
opportunity isn't for me, so Iwould love for you to speak on
that.
Mychael King (40:46):
So I often look at the path right, the seed that
fell on the path.
That seed was for the animal.
It wasn't necessarily for theground or for it to grow.
It was for food for that animal.
It wasn't necessarily for theground or for it to grow, as for
it, it was for food for thatanimal that ate it.
So it was the intention was forsomeone else.
So the animal grew because ithad the calories that the seed
(41:10):
provided.
Yeah.
You know that bird got to livean extra, you know, couple of
days or years, you know becausethat might be the only food it
had.
So the intention was alwaysgood.
The rocky places maybe it onlyneeded to serve its purpose for
that long.
Maybe the purpose was it for itto be in that rocky place, to
(41:34):
be the light in that place, butonly short-lived it.
For it to be in that rockyplace, to be the light in that
place, but only short-lived.
The one full of thorns you'reputting good seed in a room full
of thorns.
So the thorns may learnsomething from that intention.
Yeah, it gets choked outbecause whatever.
But I think that Jesus couldhave been the seed in the room
(41:54):
full of thorns too, because, youlook at it, they choked him out
, they basically beat him todeath.
But that was the purpose.
You know what I mean.
He went in a room full of thornsthrough Pharisees and Sadducees
and they didn't agree and theybattled, battled back and forth,
to the point Jesus was like,listen, I'm going to go live
(42:16):
over here, because even thepeople in my hometown I'm not,
I'm not, you know, I'm notgetting through.
So I'm going to go live by theriver, in the valley, where it's
peaceful for this time, and I'mgoing to preach the gospel and
I'm going to.
I'm going to talk about thekingdom of God.
That's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to talk about thekingdom of God here.
(42:38):
These people are going to eatit up.
They're Gentiles and not evenJews, and that was my good soil
place, right.
Yeah.
So I think the beauty of it isthat we have the power to
actually change locations.
We have dominion to actuallychange.
We have the dominion toactually seek the type of
(43:00):
environments that we want to bearound, and you know when you're
in a good environment.
You just know it.
We have a saying you arecelebrated in those environments
and not tolerated in thoseenvironments.
You know when someone justtolerated you you can feel it.
You can feel it.
You can feel it down into yourelbows, like, oh, I don't know,
(43:21):
that person just doesn't like meand you're always thinking of
an escape, like can't be herelong, right, gotta go find me
something else, this ain't gonnawork I got another maybe a
couple months right.
Can you imagine if we lived ourlives in a way where we we
didn't have to go through thatwaiting process, like, oh, I'm
(43:43):
just going to stay here untilsomething else come?
Could you imagine if youimmediately hit a room and said,
nope, this ain't it, this ain'tit.
I think maturity happens whenyou start to realize those
environments that are for youand the ones that are not for
you.
Mikita Smith (44:01):
And once you get to that maturity, honestly you
will walk in that room, in thatplace and you will say that's
okay, I'll pass on thisopportunity.
Maybe this is somebody else'sblessing, but it ain't mine.
So good luck, not for me.
I've done it.
I've done it Like he's like.
No, that's okay.
No, I'm not going to be in thisspace.
Mychael King (44:24):
Yeah, and you got to be careful of having like
this, this God complex too, likethis, this self-righteous
complex, where you'll stay inthat situation thinking that you
can fix it.
Mikita Smith (44:37):
Or nobody's going to run me out of it oh yeah run
me off that's you're.
Mychael King (44:42):
You're in thorns.
Why are you gonna get chokedout?
These, it's, it's the massesagainst you.
Like get out of there.
Mikita Smith (44:48):
You are not jesus and and to add to that another
thing is um, I like to I thinkabout you is you talked a little
bit about our words having thatpower to manifest and you can
speak your intentions or reality, and sometimes we speak
(45:12):
something that we are not beingintentional about.
So when we ask for things andhonestly I can say I'm an
example of that I've asked to bein places and for things to
happen and not being intentionalabout what it is that I'm
looking for, what it is I want,and then you end up in a space
that's not for you, that you'rejust saying things or just doing
(45:36):
things without not beingintentional about them.
Then you get there and you'relike, oh, this is not what I
asked for.
Mychael King (45:42):
This is not what I wanted.
You know, that's kind of.
It kind of branches off what Isaid.
The last thing I said is likewhen I say you're not Jesus,
you're not Jesus without Jesus.
So in those moments you'regoing to need Jesus.
So in those moments you'regoing to need Jesus, you're
going to need some supernaturalto get you through that period.
(46:05):
Because you asked for this.
Remember life and death is inthe power of the tongue, and
then if you proclaim something,you ask God, he's going to give
it to you when he serves it toyou.
Now you have to walk throughthis thing because this is what
you wanted, this is what youwanted, and I think sometimes we
back out.
But there's a blessing insometimes going through it too,
(46:26):
because you learn more of whatit is that you don't want in
that environment based off ofthat.
But also sometimes, sometimesit's not clear Like you could.
You can be in the rightenvironment but feel like you're
in the wrong one.
Can you imagine being the seedin good soil and just like
nothing's happening?
Like I'm just sitting in thissoil and nothing's happening.
(46:52):
Why is nothing happening?
You're sitting there baking, ohyeah, all right.
Well, guess, god, you put mehere.
I asked for this place, but man, nothing, nothing's happening.
It's just kind of going aboutlife.
It's just kind of content mostpeople aren't used to peace
(47:17):
that's true it's not used topeace.
You think that.
You think that everything hasto run it'll be hard.
Mikita Smith (47:25):
It doesn't have to be hard.
Mychael King (47:26):
No, it doesn't have to be hard the days are
evil, right, they're hard right.
But, man, when god really givesyou that peace, it's gonna feel
like nothing's happening.
You know we're not used to that.
Covid gave us a glimpse of itand I think it kind of reminded
us of we are a little bit toobusy as a society.
(47:50):
Slow it down.
Slow it down Because we'vecreated this system and I'll get
off topic with this one butwe've created such a system of
chaos that we've realized thatanxiety is so high amongst
everybody.
We have leaders that areanxious how can you lead me when
(48:12):
you can't even be patient?
And then we have leaders thatare depressed.
How can you lead me when you're?
You're so sorrowful all thetime, or looking in the past and
what was?
You have no vision no we'rebroken.
(48:33):
We are the blind leading theblind, because we're literally
we're not peaceful we I say we,I'm not talking about everybody,
but the people that aresuffering, broken and they're
given these seats ofadministration and even in our
political, to make decisions foreverybody.
Who vetted this?
(48:55):
Yeah, and that's a lot of brokenpeople there's so many broken
people, so many broken people,and then, with the
deconstruction of our religionand our morals, the
deconstruction of that stuff, um, and our generation is left to
try to build it back to sometype of standard, and I think
(49:17):
we're challenged with what doesthat standard look like now?
And that's why creating thisenvironment you want to live in
is so important, because to getpeople to agree on this is going
to be where the work is movingforward.
Yes.
And now we have so manydifferent changes in our norms.
Yes, are different.
(49:38):
It's not just black and whiteanymore.
It is blue, green, yellow.
Speaker 3 (49:45):
It's the whole colors , it's the whole spectrum.
It's so different.
Mychael King (49:48):
Yeah, and you have to know who you are in this and
where you stand and what yourintentions are and your mission.
What's your mission, what'syour vision?
And if you stand on that,you'll be good to go.
We're good to go.
Mikita Smith (50:10):
Well, I must say, this has been such a beautiful
conversation but you know, as weclose today's episode, I would
like to ask you how are youredefining what it means to live
life unapologetically, on yourterms, when you're talking about
creating the life you want?
There is a phase of that whereyou have to be unapologetic
about it and just stand in thattruthfulness of, yeah, this is
(50:35):
what it is.
And we talk about change.
We are sort of at this point ofredefining that change and what
that means and what it feelslike, what it looks like, and
I'm just curious as to how youfeel like that is showing up or
how you're doing that.
Mychael King (50:51):
Well, make real change.
Make change real.
The process is beautiful.
Empower your mentality to makereal change in the world.
So that's where that stands.
I have to remind myself of thatstatement every day, Every day
when I'm thinking, think aboutmaking real changes.
(51:15):
Real changes are things thatare measurable.
How can I measure?
It's got to be something thatcan measure, but it also has to
be something that people canaccomplish, or that I can
accomplish.
I can't just do something thatI can't accomplish.
You know what I mean.
It's like me buying a housewith no money.
I don't even have, I'm not evenpre-qualified.
(51:39):
What am I looking at houses for?
You got to get apre-qualification first, or you
got to have a large down payment, or you got to have the money
you know, make it realistic,give it something that you can
measure.
Um, but to kind of, but to kindof look at like what I'm, you
know, personally doing is likeI've invested so much into my
(52:03):
personal development and thatit's painful, I'm kind of sick
in a way.
I want to be as uncomfortableas I possibly can be without
causing anxiety.
You know, just kind of ahealthy uncomfortability.
Sometimes it's unhealthy tojust be busy all the time to
(52:24):
where it causes anxiety.
But no, the cost.
I've invested thousands ofdollars literally into my
personal development.
Now you may not have a thousanddollars, but you can definitely
look at a YouTube or a podcastor something that's free
resources, or a podcast orsomething that's free resources.
I do that too.
I spend a lot of my timelistening to Tim Ross, dr Ramon
(52:46):
Glenn.
I spend a lot of time at church.
I joined a cohort.
I look at military to get someof the political insights.
So Sean Ryan, his podcast, tdJakes you know a lot of those
(53:07):
people that talk aboutleadership, but also from a
kingdom standpoint, because youknow that's just where my
foundation is.
I can keep naming podcasts, youknow, and then and then you
know there's a whole, there's awhole plethora of those.
I look at it hardly initiated.
They talk about relationshipsfrom various, various
perspectives.
There's a lot of differentpeople out there that are doing
(53:28):
great work in this space.
It's free.
It's this free game.
If I wanted to build a business, I can go to YouTube and say
how do I build a business?
And they'll give you a freegame.
How do I start my business?
They give you free game.
How do I break down my clips?
Free game.
(53:49):
So a lot of your personaldevelopment has to do with what
you expose yourself to as well.
So I've really filtered what itis that I expose myself to, and
the people too, and certainpeople, certain environments,
and I might spend less time inenvironments because I don't
want to ruin my relationships.
Another thing that I've alsobeen intentional about is my
(54:12):
communication, how I communicate.
I kind of want to touch on thattoday anyway, because you have
to maintain relationships.
You can't do this by yourself.
I was under the impression thatI could do things by myself, but
I realized I cannot do it alone.
Why do you think God gave AdamEve?
(54:33):
He's like wait, there's nothingof your kind, and Adam seems a
little bit depressed.
What's going on?
So he created Eve, he saidlisten, it's not good for man to
be all alone, all one.
That's just not healthy.
I didn't create mankind forthis.
(54:53):
So that's something I have todeal with because I think I can
do it all by myself.
I really have convinced myselfI can do this by myself.
I can do it all by myself.
I really have convinced myselfI can do this by myself, I can
do it by myself.
But then everything in me tellsme you cannot.
You know what I mean.
So I have to work on mycommunication skills, and how to
(55:16):
navigate conflict was thebiggest thing how to have
crucial conversations.
And that's a book that I readand it's a life-changing novel.
If you haven't, go buy it.
If you want to start, startwith your communication Because,
like I said, words, there'slife and death in the power of
your tongue.
(55:36):
And that book gives you thetools on how to do it and how to
do it effectively.
I mean, it gives you a lot ofdialogue, but once you get
through it and you realize that,so just kind of I don't know if
we have time, but speaking fromthe heart was the one that that
(55:57):
just made sense to me haveheartfelt conversations and
knowing exactly what it is thatyou want.
When you talk to people, juststay there and stay on the facts
.
Don't create stories.
Stay with the facts.
Stick to what it is that youknow.
Have the conversation and speakfrom your heart.
(56:19):
Speak from your intentions.
What do you intend to do?
When you do that, you haveclearer conversations and even
in the road of conflict, you'reable to walk through it without
the emotion.
It's just all communication,especially in the workplace,
that's so important, especiallywith your boss, your manager.
(56:40):
They ask you questions.
You just tell them the factsand don't take it too personal,
which is hard to do.
You just don't like me.
Oh, your tone of voice was too,too rough.
Yeah, you know, like, but whenyou have a relationship with
(57:02):
someone, you realize that that'swho they are.
Yeah, they're a hothead.
So how do you deal with ahothead?
You know they're a hothead.
That's what makes thisimportant, and that's what I've
personally been doing is workingon how I communicate the videos
that I post has been part of mydevelopment plan was to reflect
(57:26):
, and so a lot of what you'regetting is this authenticity of
what it is that I'm learning.
So real time real time, realtime so.
Mikita Smith (57:41):
I like that.
Well, tell people where theycan find you and they can learn
more about what you're doingyour business coaching, and then
they can get some insight intogetting to know you through your
videos.
Mychael King (57:54):
Yeah, so you know you can follow me on TikTok,
instagram at Coach King, andthen the I is a one in G.
That's on Instagram, coach King.
Well, coach King, the one, theI is one, and then it's 989 on
the end.
That's my Instagram page.
(58:16):
You can find me on YouTube atMake Real Change, and it's no
spaces.
So I plan on doing a few otherthings with that project, but so
that's pretty much.
You're going to get most of thevideos from Instagram on the
Make Real Change YouTube, butit's also links all over my
social medias.
You can also Facebook CoachKing.
(58:39):
You'll see Make Real Change,make Change Real.
You see a big logo with a crownin the middle.
It's red.
So that's my page.
I'm on Twitter, but I'm not onTwitter.
That makes sense.
But, yeah, mainly just Facebook.
But I do have a website and thewebsite is up.
I do sell merch on the website,but also, ultimately, I do have
(59:03):
, like this program calledtransform.
It is for physical health, soyou will, you know, working out
diet, nutrition, that kind ofthing.
It's a monthly subscription.
It's not very costly at all.
It's like $15 a month and youget everything that you can
imagine, from nutrition toexercise daily to just kind of
(59:24):
like questions that you cananswer at the end of the day and
it's all done on the websiteand you can.
You can reach that atcoachking1989.com and go there
and yeah, just kind of explorethe page and you know there's an
about me section.
So I mean there's, there's afew things.
Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'mnot used to promo, promoing
(59:49):
myself like that I'm.
I'm usually the person thatsits, uh, under the radar.
Mikita Smith (59:57):
That's all right.
I definitely know how thatfeels sometimes not being on it,
does it?
But for all of you who arelistening, if you don't have
your pen and pencil ready,that's okay.
All of this information will bein the show notes for you so
you can connect and learn moreabout how you can start creating
change in your own life, whichis something I think we're all
trying to do on this journey oflife, think we're all trying to
(01:00:19):
do on this journey of life.
Mychael King (01:00:21):
Well, thank you so much for being here for sharing
your space and your insightwith me and all these amazing
listeners today.
Thanks for having me.
I really appreciate thisopportunity.
I mean, I jumped at it as myfirst one, so I pray that it
(01:00:42):
blessed whoever's listening.
I pray that people are startingto empower themselves and that
their minds have been changedjust because of the conversation
we had today.
You know, take it for what itis, at face value, but also take
it away with the challenge.
Challenge to just discover whoyou are and to make the change
that you need to make.
(01:01:02):
Not all change is good, butreally really dive into, lean
into it, because it'll changeyour life and the people around
you as well, and the perspectiveof you too.
So it's a beautiful thing whenit happens.
That's why the process isbeautiful.
Mikita Smith (01:01:19):
Exactly.
All right, you guys.
That's all the tea that we haveto spill today.
If you've enjoyed ourconversation, please consider
leaving a review and sharingthis episode with someone who
might find it inspiring.
Remember to tune in each andevery Tuesday for more insights.
Until next time, my friendsNamaste.
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