October 22, 2024 • 27 mins
In this episode, Mikita gets real about 'quietly quitting'—that sneaky process where we slowly start to pull back, whether it's at work, in our relationships, or even in how we live day to day. It’s not about walking away all at once, but more about that gradual shift where we stop giving it our all. Let’s talk about how this happens, why it happens, and what we can do to turn things around.
Key Discussion Points:
- What quietly quitting really means—it’s not just about work
- The emotional journey that leads to quietly quitting: burnout, feeling unappreciated, and fear of making changes
- Recognizing the early signs and figuring out how to get your spark back
- How routine and autopilot can take you from thriving to just surviving
Episode Summary
Quietly quitting doesn’t happen overnight—it’s a slow fade that can creep into your job, relationships, and even your day-to-day life. In this episode, Mikita shares her thoughts on how burnout, feeling undervalued, and fear of change can lead us to quietly quit, often without even realizing it. We’ll dig into how to spot the signs early and what you can do to get back to truly living instead of just getting by. If you’ve ever felt like you’re just coasting through life, this one’s for you. Let’s figure out how to stop quietly quitting and get that fire back.
#selfdevelopment #Wellness
#thym4teawithmikita #manifest #purposefulliving #liveunapplogectically #freedom #podcast #womeninpodcast #podcastlife #empoweringwomen
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
We've all been in spaces and relationships or jobs
where we just don't feel likethe people appreciate the hard
work that we do and when westart to feel burnout, when we
start to feel used, when westart to feel like our feelings
and what we're going throughdoesn't matter who's listening,
(00:22):
who cares.
That's when we really need tostart creating that space to
create time for yourself.
Because that's when thatself-reflection is so important,
because sometimes we have torecharge and we have to dream
again.
Hey there, I'm Makita, a smalltown girl with big dreams who
started a podcast with an oldheadset and a laptop at my
(00:44):
kitchen table and made my dreamscome true.
On my podcast, time for Teawith Makita, we chat about
living life unapologetically, onyour terms, from career advice,
entrepreneurship, relationshipsand everything in between.
This is your one-stop shop forreal conversations and
inspiration.
If you're looking forconnection, then you've found it
(01:07):
here.
Join me every Tuesday as wedive into those sometimes
hard-to-have conversations.
So grab your cup of tea orcoffee and get comfy, because
this is Time for Tea with Makitaand the tea is definitely hot.
Ever feel like you need asuperpower boost of motivation
with exclusive tips and toolswith your goals in mind.
(01:28):
Well, say hello to your newinspiration hotspot the Tuesday
Tea Newsletter, your weeklyinfusion of big thinking energy
that'll propel you to chase yourwildest dreams and never shy
away from using the power ofyour voice.
Sign up for the Tuesday TeaNewsletter today at
beautifullyunbalancedcom, andelevate your goals to the next
level.
Welcome back, I'm Makita, and Iwant to thank you for sharing
(01:52):
your time, your space and, ofcourse, that amazing energy with
me today.
Today's episode is one that Ithink will resonate deeply with
many of you, because itdefinitely hit a spot for me
with many of you, because itdefinitely hit a spot for me.
Today.
I am talking about quietquitting.
Now, this isn't just somethingthat happens in the workplace,
(02:18):
my friends.
It can sneak up into ourpersonal lives, our
relationships and even ourself-care routines.
If you've been feeling likeyou're just going through the
motions or like the fire insideof you is slowly fading, then
this episode is for you.
Buckle up and let's get ready,because the tea is definitely
hot.
All right, you guys, before wejump into talking about quietly
(02:42):
quitting, I want to set thescene.
I want to set us up.
So I want to start with a quote, and the quote today comes from
Sarah J Roberts, who is veryinspirational for me.
If you haven't checked her out,you definitely should.
It says you have the power toshift your life in a new
direction.
Don't let comfort rob you ofcourage.
(03:03):
I want to say that one moretime you I'm talking to you, my
friend have the power to shiftyour life in a new direction.
Don't let comfort rob you ofyour courage.
(03:32):
Now, this is such a powerfulreminder when we're talking
about quietly quitting, becausewhat often happens is we get
real comfortable, even if thatcomfort means we're stuck in a
place that no longer serves us.
What I mean by no longer servesus.
Sometimes I forget that.
You know, we go throughdifferent seasons in our lives.
(03:53):
We enter different chapters.
We may not even realize thatwe're quietly quitting.
So we're going to dive intowhat it means to quietly quit.
Whether we're talking about ourjobs, our relationships or our
dreams, what happens is we wakeup one day and we're feeling
drained and disconnected, andcomfort can become the enemy of
(04:17):
growth if we're not careful.
And that's what I want toexplore today how we can shift
out of quietly quitting andreignite your passion for life.
So, most of the times when Ihave these conversations with
you guys, it's usually somethingthat has affected me.
I've been through and I wasable to come out on the other
(04:41):
end, or sometimes, you know I'mstill sitting in it come out on
the other end, or sometimes, youknow, I'm still sitting in it.
So a couple of years ago, I ranacross this article that was
talking about quietly quitting,and as I was reading the article
, I was like, oh my gosh, thisis the term I'm looking for.
Like this is how I feel.
(05:11):
Like I was in the nursing field, which I still am but I was in
a place where I just felt likeeverything was just so routine.
There was no challenge to mylife, I didn't feel like it was
going anywhere, I was just doingthe things that was necessary
to move.
And the thing is that whenwe're not inspired to create,
(05:32):
whether it's at work or in ourpersonal life or within our
relationships, everything isaffected.
We think, oh, I don't feelchallenged at work, I'm not
happy there, but all of thatstuff trickles down into our
relationships.
It trickles down into how weshow up for ourselves and the
people in our lives.
Whether we recognize that ornot, we start peeling back the
(05:54):
layers Underneath all that, youcan see how the willingness to
sit in comfort has allowed youto sit in comfort in other
situations in your life thataren't moving anywhere either.
So let's break down first whatquietly quitting really is.
(06:16):
So for me, quietly quittingfelt like I was just existing.
I wasn't doing anythingcreative, I wasn't inspiring
anything.
I was just getting up every daywith the same routine, same
(06:36):
everything and just goingthrough the motions of everyday
life with no real desire, and Ihad got to the point where I was
actually contemplating quittingmy job.
It's like I'm going to quit,I'm going to leave this job, I
just need something else, I needanother outlet, and this was
(06:58):
all happening before I evenstarted my podcast.
So I was just searching forthis thing and I'm like I know I
have a purpose here and nursinghas been this great space for
me to grow as an individual andrecognize that challenges come
and I can handle it and I canalso give back and be a pillar
(07:20):
in the community.
But it has to be more to thisthing and the idea of really
putting myself out there, Ithink, was the most
uncomfortable thing I've everdone in my life, but also the
most rewarding.
They say uncertainty can killyour dreams.
(07:44):
Because when we get uncertainand we can't predict the outcome
, then there comes this level ofshould I sit in the comfort of
where I'm at or should I havethe courage to make a change?
And I'm going to tell you rightnow that anything that I've
ever done thus far has come withuncertainty.
That I've ever done thus farhas come with uncertainty, and
(08:08):
from that uncertainty I've hadthe best rewards, whether it's
in career-wise relationships orjust fulfilling my purpose in
life.
I wouldn't trade it foranything.
So when we talk about what itmeans for you and this chapter
(08:29):
that you have in your life, Ifeel like we all go through
different chapters, right?
Each growth, each movement.
Like my 20s, my 30s.
They were all leading up to thenew season, to the new chapter.
Whatever you want to call it.
You can call it season time andchapters, but we all go through
(08:50):
a period of growth, a periodwhere things start to shift and
we can decide to really lookinward and start reflecting and
grow with it and recognize whatit is that we need.
Or we can sit in comfort andjust be okay with no growth.
(09:12):
And I don't know about you, butI want to live life to its
fullest.
I think no one says it betterthan Maya Angelou when she says
my mission in life is not merelyto survive but to thrive.
So I don't want to just be inthis space where I'm just
(09:33):
surviving.
I want to thrive and I want youto thrive as well.
So quietly quitting is thatmentally checking out.
It's mentally saying I'm goingto do enough to get through this
.
I'm going to do enough in thisrelationship just to say I tried
.
I'm going to do enough withputting myself out there in this
(09:55):
business, in this dream that Ihave just to say I did something
.
I'm just going to do enough tosurvive this.
But the thing is we can't justdo enough because the people in
our lives, whether you're in arelationship or you're working,
they can recognize that you'regoing through the motions, they
can tell that you're just doingenough.
(10:23):
And we all go through differentperiods in our life where we
have to kind of step back anddecide what our next step is
going to be.
But when you find yourself atthat moment where you feel that
when you wake up, there's nopassion behind what you do, you
stop putting in the effort orcare into things that used to
matter to you, when you findyourself saying what's the point
(10:44):
?
More often, when you'reavoiding difficult conversations
or changes because it's easierto stay in the same place.
If any of these resonate withyou, you might be in a place of
quiet quitting, because most ofthe time we don't even recognize
(11:05):
that we're there and, honestly,until I read that article I
didn't recognize I was there.
But I was also in this periodof transition Because, as I said
earlier, I was like I'm aboutto quit my job.
I knew that I needed more.
I knew that I needed achallenge.
I knew that my purpose wasn'tbeing fulfilled to the extent
(11:29):
that it should be.
They say small steps lead to bigtransformation.
Say small steps lead to bigtransformation.
So don't despise the day ofsmall beginnings, because those
small beginnings are preparingyou for something greater.
This is where you can start toreignite that fire and quiet
(11:54):
quitting.
If you're in that space rightnow where you feel like man,
(12:18):
no-transcript, easy, and itdoesn't happen overnight.
For me, where I was sitting init, I had to sit and stew in
that thing for a minute.
I had to sit there and be realuncomfortable with the fact that
now I understood, had a turn togo with the feelings that I had
(12:38):
.
And then it was like, okay, sowhat are you going to do about
it?
Are you going to quit your job?
Like, how are you movingthrough this thing?
And I had to learn how to sitin silence with it.
And what I mean by sitting insilence is that we always have a
lot of noise coming at us.
When we're sitting therereflecting and thinking about
(13:01):
what our next steps should be,we have the noise and thoughts
of things other people tell uswe should be doing, the ideas of
where we think we should havebeen or what we should have
achieved so far, what we shouldbe doing versus what we need to
be doing.
So when we start filtering outother people's expectations,
(13:26):
other people's thoughts of whatthey think we should do and how
they think we should go aboutthings, when we quiet all of
that down and we can actuallylisten to ourselves without all
the chatter that's what I meanabout sitting in silence.
So, as you're sitting there inthat space for you, I want you
(13:48):
to think about how do you wantto move through this thing?
Where do you want to start?
I think the hardest thing foranyone is the starting, because
it always feels like you don'tknow where to start.
It feels like startingsomething is so hard.
(14:11):
It's like what's the first step?
What should I do that?
What should I do?
But the thing is, when we justmake it simple and say the first
thing I need to do is justadmit that I need to change, the
first thing I need to do isstart having a conversation.
The first thing I need to do isrecognize where I'm at and
(14:35):
where I want to go, is recognizewhere I'm at and where I want
to go.
So a lot of ways that we canreunite our passion is to
reconnect with your why.
Why did you start the job?
Why did you start therelationship or what made you
start the journey in the firstplace that you're on?
(14:56):
What was the passion or joythat first sparked everything
for you?
When you get to your why andI'm going to tell you when I'm
asking myself that why, question, I always ask myself it three
times, because the first time isalways the surface level.
Well, why did I start the job?
(15:18):
Oh, because I wanted to helpother people.
Okay, yeah, why did you want tohelp other people?
Why did you want to do that.
Why are you in thisrelationship, in this marriage?
Why are you still there today?
Because after you answer thefirst why, and you re-ask that
(15:39):
question well, why is that?
And then go a little fartherand say, well, why is that?
When you peel back those layers, you're going to get to the
real why and from there you'llbe able to reconnect to what's
really, that spark, that thingand decide what's next.
(16:02):
Do I really want to continue inthis thing?
And I don't want you to focuson how far you are from where
you want to be.
You know, in life, you know,we're always striving to be
better and we always think weshould be four steps ahead and
(16:25):
in reality we always feel likewe're six steps back.
But when we start to slow itdown and stop focusing on the
end but focus on the momentbecause a lot of times I know
for me the anxiety sits in iswhen I'm thinking about the
future.
My mind is so far ahead in thefuture of what I think is going
(16:48):
to happen, what I think shouldbe happening, that I forget
what's happening right now, thechange and the transformation
that's happening right nowwithin me, around me, and the
transformation that's happeningright now within me, around me,
for me, to me, because whentransformation happens to you,
(17:08):
it happens to everything aroundyou, and the people around you
are blessed with thetransformation as well.
They get to benefit from yourgrowth and your transformation.
So, focus on your now and don'tget caught up in where you want
to be at, because if you stayfocused on your now, if you stay
in your moment, when you get tothat, you'll appreciate it so
(17:31):
much more.
Another thing is focus on yoursmall victories.
Each day, each day, you workedon something that's going to get
you closer to where you want togo.
Remember big steps.
Always have small steps thatget you there.
When you take small steps, youwill get to the big
(17:55):
transformation.
You will get to the bigtransformation.
And when we talk about havingthose hard conversations, when
you're sitting in silence andthings get real uncomfortable,
you know the first thing thatyou need to do is sit down and
have the hard conversation, andthat's whether it's with a
partner or a friend, or evenwith yourself, because sometimes
(18:17):
the hardest conversation istalking and letting myself know
girl, it's time, it's time foryou to get it together, it's
time to stop avoiding and timeto get some clarity and some
honesty here.
Some clarity and some honestyhere.
(18:38):
And once I've had that talkwith myself, once I said you got
this, you can do this, go forit.
And it's easier sometimes tohave that conversation with
yourself versus if you're in arelationship, you have a partner
or a friend that you're goingto have to sit down and have the
(18:59):
tough conversation.
But remember that when you'rein these moments and you're
having the conversation, it'snot about right or wrong, it's
about just sharing and beinghonest.
It's about being able to movethrough where you're at right
now to get to where you want togo.
(19:20):
And all of this just means thatyou're creating space for
yourself.
We often quietly quit becausewe're burnt out, we feel that
we're unappreciated.
You know what I mean.
We've all been in spaces andrelationships or jobs where we
(19:43):
just don't feel like the peopleappreciate the hard work that we
do, you know.
And when we start to feelburnout, when we start to feel
used, when we start to feel likeour feelings and what we're
going through doesn't matterwho's listening, who cares,
(20:04):
that's when we really need tostart creating that space to
create time for yourself,because that's when that
self-reflection is so importantbecause sometimes we have to
recharge and we have to dreamagain.
Right, you know, as a kid Iused to dream so big.
(20:25):
Nothing was impossible.
When you were a kid, you coulddream the biggest dream and all
the adults would say, yep, youcan do that.
Well, it still holds true today.
Continue to dream big, continueto allow yourself to think
(20:47):
outside of the box, because alot of times I feel like we
start to quietly quit because wetry to shrink ourselves into
boxes that are too small andwhat happens is we start to dim
our light.
That light starts to slowly goout because that box gets
smaller and smaller and smaller.
And another thing I feel like,especially at one point in my
(21:25):
life and sometimes I don't needanyone to tell me I'm doing a
good job, or that you know I'm areally hard worker, or you know
, you know I'm just doing reallygreat I have to be the person
that validates my worth.
So sometimes we look outwardfor other people to recognize us
(21:49):
and we feel like when theyrecognize us, then we can shine
brighter and then the box gets alittle bit bigger.
But when you startself-validating yourself and all
the huge things that you'vedone, all the accomplishments,
all the small wins that add upto the big things.
When you start really lookingat that, that's when that light
(22:15):
starts to shine and it getsbrighter and the box gets a
little bit bigger, because theonly person that needs to
validate your worth is you.
We stop feeling burnt outbecause when you are validating
yourself, you're not putting toomuch on you, right?
(22:35):
When you're validating yourself, you're not trying to prove
something to someone else.
You've already proved it toyourself, so you don't have to
go above and beyond and workyourself to the bone and do all
these extra things to prove thatyou're a go-getter.
You already know you're ago-getter.
You already know what yourworth is.
You know what you bring to thetable.
You know how your value canimpact and make a change, no
(22:59):
matter where you go.
And as you start creating thatspace for yourself, you will
embrace your small wins.
You will embrace and connectwith your why, you will reignite
your passion.
Now, I know these steps may seemreally simple, but trust me,
(23:19):
they can create big change overtime.
And if you allow yourself theopportunity to slow down and sit
in that silence and don'texpect it to happen so quickly,
because, I'm telling you, when Iwas sitting in that silence and
I was having theseconversations with myself and I
had to really think about how Iwanted to show up and what my
(23:43):
next move or step would be, itdidn't just come to me and I had
to listen with an open mind.
I had to trust myself and notlet fear be the thing that says,
oh no, uh-uh, you can't do that.
We don't want to put ourselvesout there.
(24:03):
So let's go the easier route.
Let's get back to comfort,because comfort felt good, but
we remember that comfort is whatled us to this place that we're
at right now, where we'requietly quitting and we're just
not happy.
So, like I said, if you're justdoing enough, if you avoid the
(24:26):
challenges and the opportunitiesfor growth, if you stop caring
about the outcome, then you'rejust there.
If you're in a relationship, areyou physically present but
emotionally checked out?
Are you growing through themotions with your partner, but
the spark is gone?
Are you avoiding deepconversations or simply not
(24:50):
making an effort?
You may be quietly quitting Inlife.
I want to ask you are you justexisting day to day, going
through your routine withoutfeeling truly alive?
Do you lack excitement or joyfor things that once made you
happy?
Are you avoiding setting newgoals or pursuing things that
(25:14):
fulfilled you?
I'm telling you now if yourecognize any of these things in
you, you're not alone.
It doesn't mean you're stuckhere forever.
It's just that it means that inthis season, in this chapter,
in this time, that there is roomfor growth and transformation
(25:37):
for you, that you are in theseason for transformation, that
you're in the season for change,because now that you know, now
you can start the growth process.
Now you can start lookinginward to see how you need to
(26:03):
move forward.
Your purpose isn't tied toperfection.
It's tied to your persistence.
Remember, you don't have tohave everything figured out
today, tomorrow or the next week.
You just need to take the firststep.
That's right for you.
(26:23):
Whether you've been quietlyquitting in your career,
relationship or personal life,it's not too late.
Your journey is ever evolving.
It's the recognition, it's theunderstanding and knowing where
you're at.
And remember, you're going tostart small, You're going to
stay persistent and you're goingto remember that you are worthy
of living a life full ofpurpose and joy.
And I want to challenge youthis week to identify one area
(26:46):
where you've been quietlyquitting and take one small step
toward change.
So, whether it's reaching outto someone, picking up a dream
that you've set aside, or simplyreconnecting with yourself,
don't let comfort rob you of thecourage to fully live.
(27:07):
All right, you guys, that teawas definitely hot.
I hope that this episode reallyresonated with you.
If it did, or you know someonethat could use a little reminder
, a little inspiration, share itwith them and, as always, tune
in to the next episode of Timefor Tea with Makita, where we'll
(27:27):
continue to explore how you canstart to live unapologetically
and rediscover what lights youup.
Until next time, my friendsnamaste.
We've all been in spaces and relationships or jobs
where we just don't feel likethe people appreciate the hard
work that we do and when westart to feel burnout, when we
start to feel used, when westart to feel like our feelings
and what we're going throughdoesn't matter who's listening,
(00:22):
who cares.
That's when we really need tostart creating that space to
create time for yourself.
Because that's when thatself-reflection is so important,
because sometimes we have torecharge and we have to dream
again.
Hey there, I'm Makita, a smalltown girl with big dreams who
started a podcast with an oldheadset and a laptop at my
(00:44):
kitchen table and made my dreamscome true.
On my podcast, time for Teawith Makita, we chat about
living life unapologetically, onyour terms, from career advice,
entrepreneurship, relationshipsand everything in between.
This is your one-stop shop forreal conversations and
inspiration.
If you're looking forconnection, then you've found it
(01:07):
here.
Join me every Tuesday as wedive into those sometimes
hard-to-have conversations.
So grab your cup of tea orcoffee and get comfy, because
this is Time for Tea with Makitaand the tea is definitely hot.
Ever feel like you need asuperpower boost of motivation
with exclusive tips and toolswith your goals in mind.
(01:28):
Well, say hello to your newinspiration hotspot the Tuesday
Tea Newsletter, your weeklyinfusion of big thinking energy
that'll propel you to chase yourwildest dreams and never shy
away from using the power ofyour voice.
Sign up for the Tuesday TeaNewsletter today at
beautifullyunbalancedcom, andelevate your goals to the next
level.
Welcome back, I'm Makita, and Iwant to thank you for sharing
(01:52):
your time, your space and, ofcourse, that amazing energy with
me today.
Today's episode is one that Ithink will resonate deeply with
many of you, because itdefinitely hit a spot for me
with many of you, because itdefinitely hit a spot for me.
Today.
I am talking about quietquitting.
Now, this isn't just somethingthat happens in the workplace,
(02:18):
my friends.
It can sneak up into ourpersonal lives, our
relationships and even ourself-care routines.
If you've been feeling likeyou're just going through the
motions or like the fire insideof you is slowly fading, then
this episode is for you.
Buckle up and let's get ready,because the tea is definitely
hot.
All right, you guys, before wejump into talking about quietly
(02:42):
quitting, I want to set thescene.
I want to set us up.
So I want to start with a quote, and the quote today comes from
Sarah J Roberts, who is veryinspirational for me.
If you haven't checked her out,you definitely should.
It says you have the power toshift your life in a new
direction.
Don't let comfort rob you ofcourage.
(03:03):
I want to say that one moretime you I'm talking to you, my
friend have the power to shiftyour life in a new direction.
Don't let comfort rob you ofyour courage.
(03:32):
Now, this is such a powerfulreminder when we're talking
about quietly quitting, becausewhat often happens is we get
real comfortable, even if thatcomfort means we're stuck in a
place that no longer serves us.
What I mean by no longer servesus.
Sometimes I forget that.
You know, we go throughdifferent seasons in our lives.
(03:53):
We enter different chapters.
We may not even realize thatwe're quietly quitting.
So we're going to dive intowhat it means to quietly quit.
Whether we're talking about ourjobs, our relationships or our
dreams, what happens is we wakeup one day and we're feeling
drained and disconnected, andcomfort can become the enemy of
(04:17):
growth if we're not careful.
And that's what I want toexplore today how we can shift
out of quietly quitting andreignite your passion for life.
So, most of the times when Ihave these conversations with
you guys, it's usually somethingthat has affected me.
I've been through and I wasable to come out on the other
(04:41):
end, or sometimes, you know I'mstill sitting in it come out on
the other end, or sometimes, youknow, I'm still sitting in it.
So a couple of years ago, I ranacross this article that was
talking about quietly quitting,and as I was reading the article
, I was like, oh my gosh, thisis the term I'm looking for.
Like this is how I feel.
(05:11):
Like I was in the nursing field, which I still am but I was in
a place where I just felt likeeverything was just so routine.
There was no challenge to mylife, I didn't feel like it was
going anywhere, I was just doingthe things that was necessary
to move.
And the thing is that whenwe're not inspired to create,
(05:32):
whether it's at work or in ourpersonal life or within our
relationships, everything isaffected.
We think, oh, I don't feelchallenged at work, I'm not
happy there, but all of thatstuff trickles down into our
relationships.
It trickles down into how weshow up for ourselves and the
people in our lives.
Whether we recognize that ornot, we start peeling back the
(05:54):
layers Underneath all that, youcan see how the willingness to
sit in comfort has allowed youto sit in comfort in other
situations in your life thataren't moving anywhere either.
So let's break down first whatquietly quitting really is.
(06:16):
So for me, quietly quittingfelt like I was just existing.
I wasn't doing anythingcreative, I wasn't inspiring
anything.
I was just getting up every daywith the same routine, same
(06:36):
everything and just goingthrough the motions of everyday
life with no real desire, and Ihad got to the point where I was
actually contemplating quittingmy job.
It's like I'm going to quit,I'm going to leave this job, I
just need something else, I needanother outlet, and this was
(06:58):
all happening before I evenstarted my podcast.
So I was just searching forthis thing and I'm like I know I
have a purpose here and nursinghas been this great space for
me to grow as an individual andrecognize that challenges come
and I can handle it and I canalso give back and be a pillar
(07:20):
in the community.
But it has to be more to thisthing and the idea of really
putting myself out there, Ithink, was the most
uncomfortable thing I've everdone in my life, but also the
most rewarding.
They say uncertainty can killyour dreams.
(07:44):
Because when we get uncertainand we can't predict the outcome
, then there comes this level ofshould I sit in the comfort of
where I'm at or should I havethe courage to make a change?
And I'm going to tell you rightnow that anything that I've
ever done thus far has come withuncertainty.
That I've ever done thus farhas come with uncertainty, and
(08:08):
from that uncertainty I've hadthe best rewards, whether it's
in career-wise relationships orjust fulfilling my purpose in
life.
I wouldn't trade it foranything.
So when we talk about what itmeans for you and this chapter
(08:29):
that you have in your life, Ifeel like we all go through
different chapters, right?
Each growth, each movement.
Like my 20s, my 30s.
They were all leading up to thenew season, to the new chapter.
Whatever you want to call it.
You can call it season time andchapters, but we all go through
(08:50):
a period of growth, a periodwhere things start to shift and
we can decide to really lookinward and start reflecting and
grow with it and recognize whatit is that we need.
Or we can sit in comfort andjust be okay with no growth.
(09:12):
And I don't know about you, butI want to live life to its
fullest.
I think no one says it betterthan Maya Angelou when she says
my mission in life is not merelyto survive but to thrive.
So I don't want to just be inthis space where I'm just
(09:33):
surviving.
I want to thrive and I want youto thrive as well.
So quietly quitting is thatmentally checking out.
It's mentally saying I'm goingto do enough to get through this
.
I'm going to do enough in thisrelationship just to say I tried
.
I'm going to do enough withputting myself out there in this
(09:55):
business, in this dream that Ihave just to say I did something
.
I'm just going to do enough tosurvive this.
But the thing is we can't justdo enough because the people in
our lives, whether you're in arelationship or you're working,
they can recognize that you'regoing through the motions, they
can tell that you're just doingenough.
(10:23):
And we all go through differentperiods in our life where we
have to kind of step back anddecide what our next step is
going to be.
But when you find yourself atthat moment where you feel that
when you wake up, there's nopassion behind what you do, you
stop putting in the effort orcare into things that used to
matter to you, when you findyourself saying what's the point
(10:44):
?
More often, when you'reavoiding difficult conversations
or changes because it's easierto stay in the same place.
If any of these resonate withyou, you might be in a place of
quiet quitting, because most ofthe time we don't even recognize
(11:05):
that we're there and, honestly,until I read that article I
didn't recognize I was there.
But I was also in this periodof transition Because, as I said
earlier, I was like I'm aboutto quit my job.
I knew that I needed more.
I knew that I needed achallenge.
I knew that my purpose wasn'tbeing fulfilled to the extent
(11:29):
that it should be.
They say small steps lead to bigtransformation.
Say small steps lead to bigtransformation.
So don't despise the day ofsmall beginnings, because those
small beginnings are preparingyou for something greater.
This is where you can start toreignite that fire and quiet
(11:54):
quitting.
If you're in that space rightnow where you feel like man,
(12:18):
no-transcript, easy, and itdoesn't happen overnight.
For me, where I was sitting init, I had to sit and stew in
that thing for a minute.
I had to sit there and be realuncomfortable with the fact that
now I understood, had a turn togo with the feelings that I had
(12:38):
.
And then it was like, okay, sowhat are you going to do about
it?
Are you going to quit your job?
Like, how are you movingthrough this thing?
And I had to learn how to sitin silence with it.
And what I mean by sitting insilence is that we always have a
lot of noise coming at us.
When we're sitting therereflecting and thinking about
(13:01):
what our next steps should be,we have the noise and thoughts
of things other people tell uswe should be doing, the ideas of
where we think we should havebeen or what we should have
achieved so far, what we shouldbe doing versus what we need to
be doing.
So when we start filtering outother people's expectations,
(13:26):
other people's thoughts of whatthey think we should do and how
they think we should go aboutthings, when we quiet all of
that down and we can actuallylisten to ourselves without all
the chatter that's what I meanabout sitting in silence.
So, as you're sitting there inthat space for you, I want you
(13:48):
to think about how do you wantto move through this thing?
Where do you want to start?
I think the hardest thing foranyone is the starting, because
it always feels like you don'tknow where to start.
It feels like startingsomething is so hard.
(14:11):
It's like what's the first step?
What should I do that?
What should I do?
But the thing is, when we justmake it simple and say the first
thing I need to do is justadmit that I need to change, the
first thing I need to do isstart having a conversation.
The first thing I need to do isrecognize where I'm at and
(14:35):
where I want to go, is recognizewhere I'm at and where I want
to go.
So a lot of ways that we canreunite our passion is to
reconnect with your why.
Why did you start the job?
Why did you start therelationship or what made you
start the journey in the firstplace that you're on?
(14:56):
What was the passion or joythat first sparked everything
for you?
When you get to your why andI'm going to tell you when I'm
asking myself that why, question, I always ask myself it three
times, because the first time isalways the surface level.
Well, why did I start the job?
(15:18):
Oh, because I wanted to helpother people.
Okay, yeah, why did you want tohelp other people?
Why did you want to do that.
Why are you in thisrelationship, in this marriage?
Why are you still there today?
Because after you answer thefirst why, and you re-ask that
(15:39):
question well, why is that?
And then go a little fartherand say, well, why is that?
When you peel back those layers, you're going to get to the
real why and from there you'llbe able to reconnect to what's
really, that spark, that thingand decide what's next.
(16:02):
Do I really want to continue inthis thing?
And I don't want you to focuson how far you are from where
you want to be.
You know, in life, you know,we're always striving to be
better and we always think weshould be four steps ahead and
(16:25):
in reality we always feel likewe're six steps back.
But when we start to slow itdown and stop focusing on the
end but focus on the momentbecause a lot of times I know
for me the anxiety sits in iswhen I'm thinking about the
future.
My mind is so far ahead in thefuture of what I think is going
(16:48):
to happen, what I think shouldbe happening, that I forget
what's happening right now, thechange and the transformation
that's happening right nowwithin me, around me, and the
transformation that's happeningright now within me, around me,
for me, to me, because whentransformation happens to you,
(17:08):
it happens to everything aroundyou, and the people around you
are blessed with thetransformation as well.
They get to benefit from yourgrowth and your transformation.
So, focus on your now and don'tget caught up in where you want
to be at, because if you stayfocused on your now, if you stay
in your moment, when you get tothat, you'll appreciate it so
(17:31):
much more.
Another thing is focus on yoursmall victories.
Each day, each day, you workedon something that's going to get
you closer to where you want togo.
Remember big steps.
Always have small steps thatget you there.
When you take small steps, youwill get to the big
(17:55):
transformation.
You will get to the bigtransformation.
And when we talk about havingthose hard conversations, when
you're sitting in silence andthings get real uncomfortable,
you know the first thing thatyou need to do is sit down and
have the hard conversation, andthat's whether it's with a
partner or a friend, or evenwith yourself, because sometimes
(18:17):
the hardest conversation istalking and letting myself know
girl, it's time, it's time foryou to get it together, it's
time to stop avoiding and timeto get some clarity and some
honesty here.
Some clarity and some honestyhere.
(18:38):
And once I've had that talkwith myself, once I said you got
this, you can do this, go forit.
And it's easier sometimes tohave that conversation with
yourself versus if you're in arelationship, you have a partner
or a friend that you're goingto have to sit down and have the
(18:59):
tough conversation.
But remember that when you'rein these moments and you're
having the conversation, it'snot about right or wrong, it's
about just sharing and beinghonest.
It's about being able to movethrough where you're at right
now to get to where you want togo.
(19:20):
And all of this just means thatyou're creating space for
yourself.
We often quietly quit becausewe're burnt out, we feel that
we're unappreciated.
You know what I mean.
We've all been in spaces andrelationships or jobs where we
(19:43):
just don't feel like the peopleappreciate the hard work that we
do, you know.
And when we start to feelburnout, when we start to feel
used, when we start to feel likeour feelings and what we're
going through doesn't matterwho's listening, who cares,
(20:04):
that's when we really need tostart creating that space to
create time for yourself,because that's when that
self-reflection is so importantbecause sometimes we have to
recharge and we have to dreamagain.
Right, you know, as a kid Iused to dream so big.
(20:25):
Nothing was impossible.
When you were a kid, you coulddream the biggest dream and all
the adults would say, yep, youcan do that.
Well, it still holds true today.
Continue to dream big, continueto allow yourself to think
(20:47):
outside of the box, because alot of times I feel like we
start to quietly quit because wetry to shrink ourselves into
boxes that are too small andwhat happens is we start to dim
our light.
That light starts to slowly goout because that box gets
smaller and smaller and smaller.
And another thing I feel like,especially at one point in my
(21:25):
life and sometimes I don't needanyone to tell me I'm doing a
good job, or that you know I'm areally hard worker, or you know
, you know I'm just doing reallygreat I have to be the person
that validates my worth.
So sometimes we look outwardfor other people to recognize us
(21:49):
and we feel like when theyrecognize us, then we can shine
brighter and then the box gets alittle bit bigger.
But when you startself-validating yourself and all
the huge things that you'vedone, all the accomplishments,
all the small wins that add upto the big things.
When you start really lookingat that, that's when that light
(22:15):
starts to shine and it getsbrighter and the box gets a
little bit bigger, because theonly person that needs to
validate your worth is you.
We stop feeling burnt outbecause when you are validating
yourself, you're not putting toomuch on you, right?
(22:35):
When you're validating yourself, you're not trying to prove
something to someone else.
You've already proved it toyourself, so you don't have to
go above and beyond and workyourself to the bone and do all
these extra things to prove thatyou're a go-getter.
You already know you're ago-getter.
You already know what yourworth is.
You know what you bring to thetable.
You know how your value canimpact and make a change, no
(22:59):
matter where you go.
And as you start creating thatspace for yourself, you will
embrace your small wins.
You will embrace and connectwith your why, you will reignite
your passion.
Now, I know these steps may seemreally simple, but trust me,
(23:19):
they can create big change overtime.
And if you allow yourself theopportunity to slow down and sit
in that silence and don'texpect it to happen so quickly,
because, I'm telling you, when Iwas sitting in that silence and
I was having theseconversations with myself and I
had to really think about how Iwanted to show up and what my
(23:43):
next move or step would be, itdidn't just come to me and I had
to listen with an open mind.
I had to trust myself and notlet fear be the thing that says,
oh no, uh-uh, you can't do that.
We don't want to put ourselvesout there.
(24:03):
So let's go the easier route.
Let's get back to comfort,because comfort felt good, but
we remember that comfort is whatled us to this place that we're
at right now, where we'requietly quitting and we're just
not happy.
So, like I said, if you're justdoing enough, if you avoid the
(24:26):
challenges and the opportunitiesfor growth, if you stop caring
about the outcome, then you'rejust there.
If you're in a relationship, areyou physically present but
emotionally checked out?
Are you growing through themotions with your partner, but
the spark is gone?
Are you avoiding deepconversations or simply not
(24:50):
making an effort?
You may be quietly quitting Inlife.
I want to ask you are you justexisting day to day, going
through your routine withoutfeeling truly alive?
Do you lack excitement or joyfor things that once made you
happy?
Are you avoiding setting newgoals or pursuing things that
(25:14):
fulfilled you?
I'm telling you now if yourecognize any of these things in
you, you're not alone.
It doesn't mean you're stuckhere forever.
It's just that it means that inthis season, in this chapter,
in this time, that there is roomfor growth and transformation
(25:37):
for you, that you are in theseason for transformation, that
you're in the season for change,because now that you know, now
you can start the growth process.
Now you can start lookinginward to see how you need to
(26:03):
move forward.
Your purpose isn't tied toperfection.
It's tied to your persistence.
Remember, you don't have tohave everything figured out
today, tomorrow or the next week.
You just need to take the firststep.
That's right for you.
(26:23):
Whether you've been quietlyquitting in your career,
relationship or personal life,it's not too late.
Your journey is ever evolving.
It's the recognition, it's theunderstanding and knowing where
you're at.
And remember, you're going tostart small, You're going to
stay persistent and you're goingto remember that you are worthy
of living a life full ofpurpose and joy.
And I want to challenge youthis week to identify one area
(26:46):
where you've been quietlyquitting and take one small step
toward change.
So, whether it's reaching outto someone, picking up a dream
that you've set aside, or simplyreconnecting with yourself,
don't let comfort rob you of thecourage to fully live.
(27:07):
All right, you guys, that teawas definitely hot.
I hope that this episode reallyresonated with you.
If it did, or you know someonethat could use a little reminder
, a little inspiration, share itwith them and, as always, tune
in to the next episode of Timefor Tea with Makita, where we'll
(27:27):
continue to explore how you canstart to live unapologetically
and rediscover what lights youup.
Until next time, my friendsnamaste.
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