May 20, 2025 • 28 mins
In this episode of Thym 4 Tea with Mikita, we’re unpacking what happens when we stop labeling ourselves as "overwhelmed," "anxious," or "depressed"—and start getting real about what we’re actually feeling. Mikita shares how storytelling, emotional vocabulary, and tiny daily actions create space for healing, connection, and growth. With vulnerability and warmth, she walks us through her own journey of anxiety, imposter syndrome, and rediscovery, proving that wellness isn’t a one-size-fits-all path—it’s personal, portable, and rooted in truth.
💡 Show Notes:
- 🎧 Why the labels we use (like “stressed” or “burnt out”) might be holding us back
- 📚 A powerful quote by Brené Brown and what it really means for healing
- 📊 Shocking wellness stats (6.8 trillion market!)—and why that doesn't mean we're okay
- 🧠 Why emotional vocabulary is the missing link in most wellness advice
- ✨ Mikita’s personal story of anxiety, breathwork, and discovering the root emotion
- 🛠️ Actionable tips for claiming micro-moments for self-care
- 🧘🏽♀️ Simple practices you can start today: Box breathing, journaling, naming emotions
- 💬 The real impact of saying, “I feel stretched thin” instead of just “I’m overwhelmed”
- 🙌 A community call to try one small practice this week—DM me on IG @mikitasmith_
#selfdevelopment #Wellness
#thym4teawithmikita #manifest #purposefulliving #liveunapplogectically #freedom #podcast #womeninpodcast #podcastlife #empoweringwomen
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's about developing the grounded confidence to own
your truth without shame andwithout needing to make it easy
for others to digest.
It's okay if people getuncomfortable in your truth.
Hey there, I'm Makita, a smalltown girl with big dreams who
started a podcast with an oldheadset and a laptop at my
(00:20):
kitchen table and made my dreamscome true.
On my podcast, time for Teawith Makita, we chat about
living life unapologetically, onyour terms, from career advice,
entrepreneurship, relationshipsand everything in between.
This is your one-stop shop forreal conversations and
inspiration.
If you're looking forconnection, then you've found it
(00:43):
here.
Join me every Tuesday as wedive into those sometimes hard
to have conversations.
So grab your cup of tea orcoffee and get comfy, because
this is time for Tea with Makitaand the tea is definitely hot.
Ever feel like you need asuperpower boost of motivation
with exclusive tips and toolswith your goals in mind?
(01:03):
Well, say hello to your newinspiration hotspot the Tuesday
Tea Newsletter, your weeklyinfusion of big thinking energy
that will propel you to chaseyour wildest dreams and never
shy away from using the power ofyour voice.
Sign up for the Tuesday TeaNewsletter today at
beautifullyunbalancedcom andelevate your goals to the next
level.
Welcome back.
(01:25):
It is time for tea and I'm yourhost, makita.
I want to thank you so much forsharing your time, your space
and your energy with me today.
Now, I know you could beanywhere doing anything, but
you're here with me and myfriend.
That means a lot.
In today's episode, we'reunpacking a lot.
(01:45):
I mean a lot.
We're talking about why labelslike stress, anxious,
overwhelmed, depressed can haveyou feeling trapped, and how
understanding your emotions canspark healing, and why all the
wellness knowledge in the worldmeans nothing without action.
(02:09):
So I'm going to start off todaywith a quote by Brene Brown and
I'm going to bring this quoteback.
But this quote when I heard it,it just opened up so much for
me.
Brene Brown says if we want tofind the way back to ourselves
(02:29):
and one another, we needlanguage and the grounded
confidence to both tell ourstories and to be stewards of
the stories that we hear.
Now, on that note, grab your cupof tea, get comfy and let's
have some real talk.
(02:50):
So let's first dive into whytelling our story heals.
Let's set some foundation forthis, because the thing is we
live in a world where it's easyto get distracted from who we
are between the grind and theexpectations and just trying to
keep it all together.
Sometimes it can feel likeyou're starting to edit yourself
(03:14):
, shrink parts of your story soyou don't take up too much space
, but here's the truth.
Your story is your power.
Here's the truth.
Your story is your power.
When you speak your truth, youreclaim parts of yourself that
you may have buried or beenashamed of.
When we stop performing andstart transforming, we start
(03:39):
laying the foundation forpersonal growth, and that means
peeling back the layers oflabels.
And you don't have to have itall figured out.
Trust me, I'm still on thejourney.
You just need the courage tosay this is where I've been and
(04:01):
this is who I'm becoming.
I feel, like today, when wetake all of that into context,
of owning our story.
When we look at today, the worldwe live in, where labels are
attached to everything youcannot go anywhere or do
anything without a label and togive you some context of what I
(04:28):
mean by labels and how farwellness has come and yet how
far we still have to go, I'mgoing to take you back to 2005,
when wellness was a small club.
I want you to thank gymmemberships for the dedicated or
herbal teas being only found inhealth food stores.
The global wellness market wasaround about $1.5 trillion, and
mental health was not a topicmost people talked about, with
(04:56):
only one in four Americans atthat time were seeking therapy
due to the stigma.
Now, if you fast forward totoday, wellness is about $6.8
trillion and is projected to hit$9 trillion.
Can you believe that $9trillion in four years?
A study from McKinsey in 2004,they did this survey that found
(05:17):
that 82% of the US consumersprioritize wellness, with 68% of
therapists reporting havingmore patients than ever.
In fact, right now, it is hardto find a therapist because
there are not enough therapists.
You have everything at thismoment from online therapy, you
(05:39):
have Fitbits to track your steps, you have apps that offer
mindless reminders track yoursteps, you have apps that offer
mindless reminders and you canfind gut health supplements in
almost every cart in everyhousehold.
And just to bring a little bitmore context to that, 43% of
Americans right now prioritizetheir digestion, and this was a
(06:01):
report from Numerators in 2004.
But here's the thing the labelshaven't gone away.
People are prioritizing theirhealth, but there's still all of
these labels and not enoughtalk about actionable steps.
There's not enough aboutgetting to the root, about
(06:32):
getting to the root, becauseback then, when you would feel
down or sad, the first thingthat someone would tell you is
you're depressed, or you mighthear words like shut down.
You know the labels havechanged.
You know, instead of sayingdepressed or shut down, today
you hear things like burnout andyou would start to scroll for
solutions.
And I feel like these labelsoversimplify.
(06:55):
It's hiding the why behind thefeeling.
And while knowledge is ateveryone's fingertips, it's
everywhere In this world oftechnology.
All you have to do is searchhealth tips or ask chat.
But the truth is, knowledge isuseless without actions and
(07:19):
without being able to identify.
It's hard to take action whenyou don't have the emotional
vocabulary to express andcommunicate what you're feeling
and why you're feeling it.
Now I read that there was areport done in Wellable.
This report shows that 86% ofemployers are boosting mental
(07:42):
health programs and I can saywhere I work at now currently
mental health is everything.
But the problem is manyemployees don't use them because
for one, it's easy to sayprioritize your mental health
and we have these things for you.
But the thing is, when will Ibe able to do this Between doing
(08:06):
the work for the company andgetting home and doing all the
duties and responsibilities youhave.
The thing is not understandingthat you need to prioritize your
wellness.
It's about where do you start.
Understanding that you need toprioritize your wellness, it's
(08:26):
about where do you start.
And that's why I feel likewellness without labels means
ditching the tags, gettingcurious about your emotions and
acting on what you learn in tinyways.
It doesn't have to be these biggrand gestures.
I'm talking about small steps.
So what does that all mean?
If you remember when I started,I started off with this quote by
(08:48):
Brene Brown, and let's unpackthat, because in the quote it
said if we find it says, if wewant to find the way back to
ourselves and one another, weneed language and the grounded
confidence to both tell ourstories and to be stewards of
(09:09):
the stories that we hear.
So let me explain what thatmeans to me.
And we all have differentperspectives of life.
We've all have differentexperiences, so the context in
which that quote will mean toyou may be different, and that's
fine, but for me, in thecontext of personal growth, it
(09:31):
reminds me that healing andself-discovery starts with
honesty and vulnerability.
Telling our own stories,especially the messy ones, the
imperfect ones.
Telling our own stories,especially the messy ones, the
imperfect ones, help you to makesense of who you are and what
(09:53):
you've been through and whereyou're going.
(10:25):
I was listening to a clip withCat Williams and I believe he
was on a podcast and he wastalking about being a hero and
heroes in movies, and what hesaid was that if you write down
every challenge you've everfaced in your life, if you wrote
it all down and you think abouthow you overcame those
challenges, those moments whenyou thought there was no way out
, when you thought you had hitrock bottom but somehow you
persevered, that's a hero,that's the story of a hero.
And when we show up and sharethose stories and those are the
messy stories those are the true, raw, honest stories that break
(10:45):
us down.
That leaves us open forvulnerability, but those are the
stories that remind us thatwe're not alone.
This isn't just about talking.
It's about developing thegrounded confidence to own your
truth without shame and withoutneeding to make it easy for
(11:05):
others to digest.
It's okay if people getuncomfortable in your truth and
when I think about this in theterms of wellness, for me, it
points to the deep connectionbetween emotional well-being and
community, because growthdoesn't happen in isolation,
(11:28):
even though sometimes we feellike we're alone.
In moments you're not,especially when you're able to
share your stories and holdspace for others to share theirs
.
When we create a safe healingenvironment, that's community
and that's when you're being asteward of someone else's story.
It means listening with empathy, without judgment or the urge
(11:53):
to fix, and I know that's hardbecause some of us are natural
fixers.
Our role is to step in and makeit better.
But most of the times when Italk to anyone, the only thing
they want is for someone to seethem and hear them, and
sometimes just saying somethingout loud can spark something in
(12:14):
someone to be like I know what Ineed to do next.
It's part of the healing, thatkind of mutual care.
It fosters belonging andemotional resilience that's both
essential to well-being.
In short, I chose this quotebecause it teaches that language
(12:35):
, storytelling and presence aretools for reconnecting with
ourselves and with others, andin that reconnection we grow, we
heal and we thrive.
When I think back to 20-year-oldMakita, when I think about the
labels I put on myself, Iremember there were times when I
(12:56):
felt sad and I wouldimmediately say, oh my gosh, I'm
going through this depressionor I'm depressed.
A lot of times it wasn't that Iwas depressed.
Sometimes I was just lonely andwhat I wanted and what I was
craving was emotional connection.
And when I got out andconnected with my friends and
(13:19):
family, it reminded me that thisis what I needed.
It wasn't that I was depressed.
I was feeling alone and Ineeded the connection.
And we are emotional humans, wecrave connection.
And sometimes when we feellonely, it's not that we're
(13:42):
always depressed.
And sometimes, when we feellonely, it's not that we're
always depressed.
And I just want to say I'm notagainst labels, but I think
(14:02):
sometimes, when we just identifywith the label, I remember the
one thing I would always say nomatter what was shy, I'm shy.
Well, as you can tell, I'm notthat shy.
And it's not that I was shy, Ijust felt you know, just like
anyone else.
You know just like anyone else,when you meet people you don't
(14:28):
know, you're so caught up inyour own thoughts, in your head,
wondering what other people arethinking about you.
And the truth is they're notthinking about you, they're
thinking about themselves.
They're wondering the samething you're wondering.
They don't know what to say andthey're trying to figure out,
you know where to put theirhands, how to not feel like
they're sticking out or how tofit in.
(14:50):
We are all having our firsthuman experience.
We are all trying to figurethis thing out and instead of
saying I'm shy, instead now I'llbe like you know, I'm not shy,
you know I just I get in my ownhead and I worry about what
other people are thinking and itkeeps me from really being
(15:12):
present in the moment andexperiencing life and the
opportunity that I have to evenbe in some of the spaces that
I'm called to be in.
Now I don't think about it asmuch, you know there.
Of course, there's times whenwe are unsure and our confidence
feels a little off, but thoseare great reminders for me to be
(15:33):
like.
Trust me, everybody in thisroom is feeling some of what
you're feeling, and that takesthe edge off of it that we're
all in the same space and we'reall going through the same
emotions, and it allows you toget out of your head and then
drop the label and then justremember that you're just a
(15:54):
human having an experience,feeling emotions, but the key is
to recognize that it is anemotion.
Everything is attached to somefeeling or emotion, whether it's
fear, whether it's doubt,whether it's just feeling too
vulnerable and raw in the moment.
If you can recognize that, ifyou can identify that, then
(16:18):
you're one step closer.
Closer.
When we skip the labels, we godeeper.
We get to know who we arewithout the label.
We get to learn how tocommunicate our feelings in a
(16:40):
much deeper and clearer way, andwhen we do that, we get to have
more confidence, meaningfulrelationships with our families,
with our kids, with ourpartners, and we teach them how
they can start communicatingtheir emotions and feelings.
Now I'm not going to say thatthis is something that is going
(17:03):
to just going to wake up and belike oh, I got it, and no, it's
constant.
The most recent for me is a fewyears ago.
I was dealing with thisoverwhelming sense of anxiety
(17:26):
and I would wake up with it.
I wore it with me like a cloakall day long.
It went to bed with me.
No matter what I did, I couldnot get rid of it, and it was
heavy.
I started doing yoga, I startedchanging the way I eat.
(17:48):
I started going to bed at acertain time thinking maybe I'm
not getting enough sleep.
I got my weighted blanket.
I was doing the things that,like you say, you scroll, you
can find a whole lot of stuff.
I was drinking the cow milk tea.
This feeling of anxiousnessjust would not leave me.
And I remember reading somethingabout just taking a moment to
(18:14):
breathe.
And I remember just sittingoutside my room in the floor
with the mat and just takingdeep breaths and breathing, and
it was the most calmingexperience I've ever felt,
because the only thing I wasthinking about at the moment was
(18:36):
hearing and feeling the air inand out, just in and out.
And it eased the anxiousness,it eased the feeling.
And after a couple more days Istarted asking myself what's
happening?
Why do you feel this way?
What's going on?
What's the emotion?
What are you feeling?
(18:57):
And in that moment I realizedthat I was having this feeling
of being an imposter and I feltlike someone's going to call me
out and say you are not who youclaim to be.
And then I had to dig a littledeeper into why I felt that way.
(19:20):
You know, like why did I feel?
Like I couldn't own who I wasin my story?
I couldn't own who I was in mystory and that's what I mean
about peeling away the labelsand taking the labels away,
because without that, withoutbeing able to identify the
(19:43):
emotion and drawing all of thatout and getting to know where I
was in the moment, I would haveprobably still be living with
that anxiety and takingmedication for it without going
deeper.
Sometimes we have to go deeper.
Sometimes you first have toname your emotion without
(20:07):
leaning on the labels.
Calling yourself overwhelmed.
It's like a dead end.
Saying I'm stretched thinbecause I'm balancing work and
family opens a door and it opensa conversation for you to have
with other people in your circleso that they can offer support.
Saying you're overwhelmeddoesn't tell people anything.
(20:32):
Overwhelmed by what, likewhat's happening.
You need to be able to say, notthat I'm overwhelmed, I feel
stretched thin because I'mtrying to balance my work and
take the kids to practice andcook the food and help them with
schoolwork.
That way you are communicatingwith people in your circle, your
(20:53):
support group, and you'resaying what you need.
You need to find balance andyou need to find that by having
someone help you with some ofthe things that are happening.
But you can't do that if youdon't have the emotional
vocabulary to understand what'shappening.
If you take 30 seconds and askyourself what am I feeling and
(21:15):
why?
And I'm going to tell you now.
Don't just ask yourself thisquestion once.
Ask yourself the question why?
At least three times.
Because the first time you'regoing to get the surface answer.
The second time you're going todig a little deeper and the
third time you're going to tellthe truth.
And if you're comfortable withwriting it down, do that.
(21:37):
Write it in the notes in yourphone.
If you feel comfortable,whisper it, talk to yourself
about it in the meditation.
Meditation, you know, self-carestarts with you and wellness is
(21:58):
part of self-care.
It helps you to see the root ofyour struggle and it starts the
healing process.
And remember to start small.
Start where you are.
Knowledge like knowing breathwork reduces stress, or knowing
that taking a quick walk forfive minutes will help boost
(22:19):
your mood.
Your favorite song.
I know for me if I one of myI'm going to say rituals, but
one of the things that I do whenI get on a plane because I do
not like to fly.
Well, I love to fly, I'm justafraid of heights.
So I get really, really nervousand my anxiety goes up, and I
(22:43):
know why because I don't likeheights.
I fell from a tree when I was akid and ever since then, like
the idea of being up is just toomuch, and I also feel as if I
am not in control.
And not being in control reallygives me anxiety.
I know this about myself.
I know that when I get on theplane I have something that
(23:07):
keeps me grounded and centered,and it's music.
And it's not just any music.
I have one particular song thatI listen to that grounds me, it
centers me for some reason andit just takes my mind off of
everything and it sets the mood.
You know, wellness is about tiny, intentional actions that fit
your life.
(23:27):
But you have to take action.
Maybe you name a feeling andrealize you're tense, just like
me on the plane.
You know, I recognized thefeeling of feeling out of
control, feeling anxious.
I realized that was tense andmaybe for you it's a stretch,
(23:54):
maybe for you it's a quick jog,maybe it's saying something,
affirmations like I'm grateful,maybe it's texting or telling
your friend.
You know it could be whatevermakes you feel centered.
You start fitting this intoyour day during a commute, at
(24:17):
lunch or while waiting for thelaundry if you're doing laundry.
I had a friend that I work withthat said every morning, her and
a group of friends would have agroup conversation where only
thing they did was each personwould choose an affirmation or a
script from the Bible and theywould read it.
(24:38):
It worked.
It set the tone for the day.
It gave them a chance to becentered and aligned and it also
gave them community and achance to heal and say this is
what I need today.
It's not just doing something.
It's about showing yourselfyou're worth the effort and
(25:03):
doing that one thing.
Life can sometimes feel like asprint, always going.
It never ends work, errands,family but you can claim tiny
pockets to reconnect withyourself.
Try a one minute box breath.
(25:24):
This is when you inhale forfour seconds, hold it for four
seconds, hold it for fourseconds and then exhale for four
seconds.
Now you can redo this in anyway that works with you.
You are in control of thissituation.
You do what works for you.
Now, one thing I love aboutdoing breath, work and
(25:45):
meditation is you can do itanywhere, in your car, at a desk
.
You can keep a sticky note atyour desk, if it works for you
with affirmations on it thatsays I'm enough.
I love buying pens withaffirmations on it.
I have one that says today youdon't have to be perfect.
So when I read this, it's justa reminder for me to slow down
(26:08):
and it's okay.
These micro moments are like arecharge.
It's a way to ground you,center you.
You know, it's not like before,where wellness meant going to
(26:29):
the gym.
Now wellness is portable.
You can take it with you onyour phone.
You can take it with youanywhere.
Wellness, like breathwork, isamazing because it uses your
(26:51):
body to process emotions.
It's small acts that heal bykeeping you connected to your
feelings, to slow you down alittle bit and help you to show
up All right.
There you have it Simple waysto start taking away the labels,
(27:15):
naming your emotions, doingsmall acts, stealing little
micro moments each and every daythat connect you, ground you
and give you an opportunity toconnect with yourself.
Wellness isn't about drowningin knowledge or hiding behind
(27:36):
the labels.
It's about understanding youremotions and taking action to
heal, no matter where life takesyou.
I challenge you to try onepractice this week that's either
naming a feeling, doing onesmall action or claiming a micro
moment.
Share it with me and Beautifuland Balanced community.
(27:56):
You can DM me on Instagram.
I am here for your wins.
Now, if this episode sparkedsomething, subscribe to Time for
Tea with Makita.
Drop a review.
Let's keep this real talkconversation going.
I want you to remember to keepexploring, keep showing up and
(28:19):
remember to stay beautifullyunbalanced.
Until next time, my friendsnamaste.
It's about developing the grounded confidence to own
your truth without shame andwithout needing to make it easy
for others to digest.
It's okay if people getuncomfortable in your truth.
Hey there, I'm Makita, a smalltown girl with big dreams who
started a podcast with an oldheadset and a laptop at my
(00:20):
kitchen table and made my dreamscome true.
On my podcast, time for Teawith Makita, we chat about
living life unapologetically, onyour terms, from career advice,
entrepreneurship, relationshipsand everything in between.
This is your one-stop shop forreal conversations and
inspiration.
If you're looking forconnection, then you've found it
(00:43):
here.
Join me every Tuesday as wedive into those sometimes hard
to have conversations.
So grab your cup of tea orcoffee and get comfy, because
this is time for Tea with Makitaand the tea is definitely hot.
Ever feel like you need asuperpower boost of motivation
with exclusive tips and toolswith your goals in mind?
(01:03):
Well, say hello to your newinspiration hotspot the Tuesday
Tea Newsletter, your weeklyinfusion of big thinking energy
that will propel you to chaseyour wildest dreams and never
shy away from using the power ofyour voice.
Sign up for the Tuesday TeaNewsletter today at
beautifullyunbalancedcom andelevate your goals to the next
level.
Welcome back.
(01:25):
It is time for tea and I'm yourhost, makita.
I want to thank you so much forsharing your time, your space
and your energy with me today.
Now, I know you could beanywhere doing anything, but
you're here with me and myfriend.
That means a lot.
In today's episode, we'reunpacking a lot.
(01:45):
I mean a lot.
We're talking about why labelslike stress, anxious,
overwhelmed, depressed can haveyou feeling trapped, and how
understanding your emotions canspark healing, and why all the
wellness knowledge in the worldmeans nothing without action.
(02:09):
So I'm going to start off todaywith a quote by Brene Brown and
I'm going to bring this quoteback.
But this quote when I heard it,it just opened up so much for
me.
Brene Brown says if we want tofind the way back to ourselves
(02:29):
and one another, we needlanguage and the grounded
confidence to both tell ourstories and to be stewards of
the stories that we hear.
Now, on that note, grab your cupof tea, get comfy and let's
have some real talk.
(02:50):
So let's first dive into whytelling our story heals.
Let's set some foundation forthis, because the thing is we
live in a world where it's easyto get distracted from who we
are between the grind and theexpectations and just trying to
keep it all together.
Sometimes it can feel likeyou're starting to edit yourself
(03:14):
, shrink parts of your story soyou don't take up too much space
, but here's the truth.
Your story is your power.
Here's the truth.
Your story is your power.
When you speak your truth, youreclaim parts of yourself that
you may have buried or beenashamed of.
When we stop performing andstart transforming, we start
(03:39):
laying the foundation forpersonal growth, and that means
peeling back the layers oflabels.
And you don't have to have itall figured out.
Trust me, I'm still on thejourney.
You just need the courage tosay this is where I've been and
(04:01):
this is who I'm becoming.
I feel, like today, when wetake all of that into context,
of owning our story.
When we look at today, the worldwe live in, where labels are
attached to everything youcannot go anywhere or do
anything without a label and togive you some context of what I
(04:28):
mean by labels and how farwellness has come and yet how
far we still have to go, I'mgoing to take you back to 2005,
when wellness was a small club.
I want you to thank gymmemberships for the dedicated or
herbal teas being only found inhealth food stores.
The global wellness market wasaround about $1.5 trillion, and
mental health was not a topicmost people talked about, with
(04:56):
only one in four Americans atthat time were seeking therapy
due to the stigma.
Now, if you fast forward totoday, wellness is about $6.8
trillion and is projected to hit$9 trillion.
Can you believe that $9trillion in four years?
A study from McKinsey in 2004,they did this survey that found
(05:17):
that 82% of the US consumersprioritize wellness, with 68% of
therapists reporting havingmore patients than ever.
In fact, right now, it is hardto find a therapist because
there are not enough therapists.
You have everything at thismoment from online therapy, you
(05:39):
have Fitbits to track your steps, you have apps that offer
mindless reminders track yoursteps, you have apps that offer
mindless reminders and you canfind gut health supplements in
almost every cart in everyhousehold.
And just to bring a little bitmore context to that, 43% of
Americans right now prioritizetheir digestion, and this was a
(06:01):
report from Numerators in 2004.
But here's the thing the labelshaven't gone away.
People are prioritizing theirhealth, but there's still all of
these labels and not enoughtalk about actionable steps.
There's not enough aboutgetting to the root, about
(06:32):
getting to the root, becauseback then, when you would feel
down or sad, the first thingthat someone would tell you is
you're depressed, or you mighthear words like shut down.
You know the labels havechanged.
You know, instead of sayingdepressed or shut down, today
you hear things like burnout andyou would start to scroll for
solutions.
And I feel like these labelsoversimplify.
(06:55):
It's hiding the why behind thefeeling.
And while knowledge is ateveryone's fingertips, it's
everywhere In this world oftechnology.
All you have to do is searchhealth tips or ask chat.
But the truth is, knowledge isuseless without actions and
(07:19):
without being able to identify.
It's hard to take action whenyou don't have the emotional
vocabulary to express andcommunicate what you're feeling
and why you're feeling it.
Now I read that there was areport done in Wellable.
This report shows that 86% ofemployers are boosting mental
(07:42):
health programs and I can saywhere I work at now currently
mental health is everything.
But the problem is manyemployees don't use them because
for one, it's easy to sayprioritize your mental health
and we have these things for you.
But the thing is, when will Ibe able to do this Between doing
(08:06):
the work for the company andgetting home and doing all the
duties and responsibilities youhave.
The thing is not understandingthat you need to prioritize your
wellness.
It's about where do you start.
Understanding that you need toprioritize your wellness, it's
(08:26):
about where do you start.
And that's why I feel likewellness without labels means
ditching the tags, gettingcurious about your emotions and
acting on what you learn in tinyways.
It doesn't have to be these biggrand gestures.
I'm talking about small steps.
So what does that all mean?
If you remember when I started,I started off with this quote by
(08:48):
Brene Brown, and let's unpackthat, because in the quote it
said if we find it says, if wewant to find the way back to
ourselves and one another, weneed language and the grounded
confidence to both tell ourstories and to be stewards of
(09:09):
the stories that we hear.
So let me explain what thatmeans to me.
And we all have differentperspectives of life.
We've all have differentexperiences, so the context in
which that quote will mean toyou may be different, and that's
fine, but for me, in thecontext of personal growth, it
(09:31):
reminds me that healing andself-discovery starts with
honesty and vulnerability.
Telling our own stories,especially the messy ones, the
imperfect ones.
Telling our own stories,especially the messy ones, the
imperfect ones, help you to makesense of who you are and what
(09:53):
you've been through and whereyou're going.
(10:25):
I was listening to a clip withCat Williams and I believe he
was on a podcast and he wastalking about being a hero and
heroes in movies, and what hesaid was that if you write down
every challenge you've everfaced in your life, if you wrote
it all down and you think abouthow you overcame those
challenges, those moments whenyou thought there was no way out
, when you thought you had hitrock bottom but somehow you
persevered, that's a hero,that's the story of a hero.
And when we show up and sharethose stories and those are the
messy stories those are the true, raw, honest stories that break
(10:45):
us down.
That leaves us open forvulnerability, but those are the
stories that remind us thatwe're not alone.
This isn't just about talking.
It's about developing thegrounded confidence to own your
truth without shame and withoutneeding to make it easy for
(11:05):
others to digest.
It's okay if people getuncomfortable in your truth and
when I think about this in theterms of wellness, for me, it
points to the deep connectionbetween emotional well-being and
community, because growthdoesn't happen in isolation,
(11:28):
even though sometimes we feellike we're alone.
In moments you're not,especially when you're able to
share your stories and holdspace for others to share theirs
.
When we create a safe healingenvironment, that's community
and that's when you're being asteward of someone else's story.
It means listening with empathy, without judgment or the urge
(11:53):
to fix, and I know that's hardbecause some of us are natural
fixers.
Our role is to step in and makeit better.
But most of the times when Italk to anyone, the only thing
they want is for someone to seethem and hear them, and
sometimes just saying somethingout loud can spark something in
(12:14):
someone to be like I know what Ineed to do next.
It's part of the healing, thatkind of mutual care.
It fosters belonging andemotional resilience that's both
essential to well-being.
In short, I chose this quotebecause it teaches that language
(12:35):
, storytelling and presence aretools for reconnecting with
ourselves and with others, andin that reconnection we grow, we
heal and we thrive.
When I think back to 20-year-oldMakita, when I think about the
labels I put on myself, Iremember there were times when I
(12:56):
felt sad and I wouldimmediately say, oh my gosh, I'm
going through this depressionor I'm depressed.
A lot of times it wasn't that Iwas depressed.
Sometimes I was just lonely andwhat I wanted and what I was
craving was emotional connection.
And when I got out andconnected with my friends and
(13:19):
family, it reminded me that thisis what I needed.
It wasn't that I was depressed.
I was feeling alone and Ineeded the connection.
And we are emotional humans, wecrave connection.
And sometimes when we feellonely, it's not that we're
(13:42):
always depressed.
And sometimes, when we feellonely, it's not that we're
always depressed.
And I just want to say I'm notagainst labels, but I think
(14:02):
sometimes, when we just identifywith the label, I remember the
one thing I would always say nomatter what was shy, I'm shy.
Well, as you can tell, I'm notthat shy.
And it's not that I was shy, Ijust felt you know, just like
anyone else.
You know just like anyone else,when you meet people you don't
(14:28):
know, you're so caught up inyour own thoughts, in your head,
wondering what other people arethinking about you.
And the truth is they're notthinking about you, they're
thinking about themselves.
They're wondering the samething you're wondering.
They don't know what to say andthey're trying to figure out,
you know where to put theirhands, how to not feel like
they're sticking out or how tofit in.
(14:50):
We are all having our firsthuman experience.
We are all trying to figurethis thing out and instead of
saying I'm shy, instead now I'llbe like you know, I'm not shy,
you know I just I get in my ownhead and I worry about what
other people are thinking and itkeeps me from really being
(15:12):
present in the moment andexperiencing life and the
opportunity that I have to evenbe in some of the spaces that
I'm called to be in.
Now I don't think about it asmuch, you know there.
Of course, there's times whenwe are unsure and our confidence
feels a little off, but thoseare great reminders for me to be
(15:33):
like.
Trust me, everybody in thisroom is feeling some of what
you're feeling, and that takesthe edge off of it that we're
all in the same space and we'reall going through the same
emotions, and it allows you toget out of your head and then
drop the label and then justremember that you're just a
(15:54):
human having an experience,feeling emotions, but the key is
to recognize that it is anemotion.
Everything is attached to somefeeling or emotion, whether it's
fear, whether it's doubt,whether it's just feeling too
vulnerable and raw in the moment.
If you can recognize that, ifyou can identify that, then
(16:18):
you're one step closer.
Closer.
When we skip the labels, we godeeper.
We get to know who we arewithout the label.
We get to learn how tocommunicate our feelings in a
(16:40):
much deeper and clearer way, andwhen we do that, we get to have
more confidence, meaningfulrelationships with our families,
with our kids, with ourpartners, and we teach them how
they can start communicatingtheir emotions and feelings.
Now I'm not going to say thatthis is something that is going
(17:03):
to just going to wake up and belike oh, I got it, and no, it's
constant.
The most recent for me is a fewyears ago.
I was dealing with thisoverwhelming sense of anxiety
(17:26):
and I would wake up with it.
I wore it with me like a cloakall day long.
It went to bed with me.
No matter what I did, I couldnot get rid of it, and it was
heavy.
I started doing yoga, I startedchanging the way I eat.
(17:48):
I started going to bed at acertain time thinking maybe I'm
not getting enough sleep.
I got my weighted blanket.
I was doing the things that,like you say, you scroll, you
can find a whole lot of stuff.
I was drinking the cow milk tea.
This feeling of anxiousnessjust would not leave me.
And I remember reading somethingabout just taking a moment to
(18:14):
breathe.
And I remember just sittingoutside my room in the floor
with the mat and just takingdeep breaths and breathing, and
it was the most calmingexperience I've ever felt,
because the only thing I wasthinking about at the moment was
(18:36):
hearing and feeling the air inand out, just in and out.
And it eased the anxiousness,it eased the feeling.
And after a couple more days Istarted asking myself what's
happening?
Why do you feel this way?
What's going on?
What's the emotion?
What are you feeling?
(18:57):
And in that moment I realizedthat I was having this feeling
of being an imposter and I feltlike someone's going to call me
out and say you are not who youclaim to be.
And then I had to dig a littledeeper into why I felt that way.
(19:20):
You know, like why did I feel?
Like I couldn't own who I wasin my story?
I couldn't own who I was in mystory and that's what I mean
about peeling away the labelsand taking the labels away,
because without that, withoutbeing able to identify the
(19:43):
emotion and drawing all of thatout and getting to know where I
was in the moment, I would haveprobably still be living with
that anxiety and takingmedication for it without going
deeper.
Sometimes we have to go deeper.
Sometimes you first have toname your emotion without
(20:07):
leaning on the labels.
Calling yourself overwhelmed.
It's like a dead end.
Saying I'm stretched thinbecause I'm balancing work and
family opens a door and it opensa conversation for you to have
with other people in your circleso that they can offer support.
Saying you're overwhelmeddoesn't tell people anything.
(20:32):
Overwhelmed by what, likewhat's happening.
You need to be able to say, notthat I'm overwhelmed, I feel
stretched thin because I'mtrying to balance my work and
take the kids to practice andcook the food and help them with
schoolwork.
That way you are communicatingwith people in your circle, your
(20:53):
support group, and you'resaying what you need.
You need to find balance andyou need to find that by having
someone help you with some ofthe things that are happening.
But you can't do that if youdon't have the emotional
vocabulary to understand what'shappening.
If you take 30 seconds and askyourself what am I feeling and
(21:15):
why?
And I'm going to tell you now.
Don't just ask yourself thisquestion once.
Ask yourself the question why?
At least three times.
Because the first time you'regoing to get the surface answer.
The second time you're going todig a little deeper and the
third time you're going to tellthe truth.
And if you're comfortable withwriting it down, do that.
(21:37):
Write it in the notes in yourphone.
If you feel comfortable,whisper it, talk to yourself
about it in the meditation.
Meditation, you know, self-carestarts with you and wellness is
(21:58):
part of self-care.
It helps you to see the root ofyour struggle and it starts the
healing process.
And remember to start small.
Start where you are.
Knowledge like knowing breathwork reduces stress, or knowing
that taking a quick walk forfive minutes will help boost
(22:19):
your mood.
Your favorite song.
I know for me if I one of myI'm going to say rituals, but
one of the things that I do whenI get on a plane because I do
not like to fly.
Well, I love to fly, I'm justafraid of heights.
So I get really, really nervousand my anxiety goes up, and I
(22:43):
know why because I don't likeheights.
I fell from a tree when I was akid and ever since then, like
the idea of being up is just toomuch, and I also feel as if I
am not in control.
And not being in control reallygives me anxiety.
I know this about myself.
I know that when I get on theplane I have something that
(23:07):
keeps me grounded and centered,and it's music.
And it's not just any music.
I have one particular song thatI listen to that grounds me, it
centers me for some reason andit just takes my mind off of
everything and it sets the mood.
You know, wellness is about tiny, intentional actions that fit
your life.
(23:27):
But you have to take action.
Maybe you name a feeling andrealize you're tense, just like
me on the plane.
You know, I recognized thefeeling of feeling out of
control, feeling anxious.
I realized that was tense andmaybe for you it's a stretch,
(23:54):
maybe for you it's a quick jog,maybe it's saying something,
affirmations like I'm grateful,maybe it's texting or telling
your friend.
You know it could be whatevermakes you feel centered.
You start fitting this intoyour day during a commute, at
(24:17):
lunch or while waiting for thelaundry if you're doing laundry.
I had a friend that I work withthat said every morning, her and
a group of friends would have agroup conversation where only
thing they did was each personwould choose an affirmation or a
script from the Bible and theywould read it.
(24:38):
It worked.
It set the tone for the day.
It gave them a chance to becentered and aligned and it also
gave them community and achance to heal and say this is
what I need today.
It's not just doing something.
It's about showing yourselfyou're worth the effort and
(25:03):
doing that one thing.
Life can sometimes feel like asprint, always going.
It never ends work, errands,family but you can claim tiny
pockets to reconnect withyourself.
Try a one minute box breath.
(25:24):
This is when you inhale forfour seconds, hold it for four
seconds, hold it for fourseconds and then exhale for four
seconds.
Now you can redo this in anyway that works with you.
You are in control of thissituation.
You do what works for you.
Now, one thing I love aboutdoing breath, work and
(25:45):
meditation is you can do itanywhere, in your car, at a desk
.
You can keep a sticky note atyour desk, if it works for you
with affirmations on it thatsays I'm enough.
I love buying pens withaffirmations on it.
I have one that says today youdon't have to be perfect.
So when I read this, it's justa reminder for me to slow down
(26:08):
and it's okay.
These micro moments are like arecharge.
It's a way to ground you,center you.
You know, it's not like before,where wellness meant going to
(26:29):
the gym.
Now wellness is portable.
You can take it with you onyour phone.
You can take it with youanywhere.
Wellness, like breathwork, isamazing because it uses your
(26:51):
body to process emotions.
It's small acts that heal bykeeping you connected to your
feelings, to slow you down alittle bit and help you to show
up All right.
There you have it Simple waysto start taking away the labels,
(27:15):
naming your emotions, doingsmall acts, stealing little
micro moments each and every daythat connect you, ground you
and give you an opportunity toconnect with yourself.
Wellness isn't about drowningin knowledge or hiding behind
(27:36):
the labels.
It's about understanding youremotions and taking action to
heal, no matter where life takesyou.
I challenge you to try onepractice this week that's either
naming a feeling, doing onesmall action or claiming a micro
moment.
Share it with me and Beautifuland Balanced community.
(27:56):
You can DM me on Instagram.
I am here for your wins.
Now, if this episode sparkedsomething, subscribe to Time for
Tea with Makita.
Drop a review.
Let's keep this real talkconversation going.
I want you to remember to keepexploring, keep showing up and
(28:19):
remember to stay beautifullyunbalanced.
Until next time, my friendsnamaste.
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