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February 13, 2024 48 mins

As we navigate this thing called life, I find myself reflecting on the narratives that shape our very essence. My guest, Asher, a veteran with a history as rich as the military honors he's earned, joins me to share his enthralling journey from the  Army into the boundless universe of entrepreneurship and wisdom coaching. We unravel the threads of identity, metamorphosis, and the art of self-narration, all while sipping on the metaphorical tea of Time, Energy, and Attention.

The wisdom embedded within the written word has long been a vessel for personal expansion. Asher and I traverse the landscapes of thinking, writing, and speaking vocabularies, highlighting their pivotal roles in personal development. We delve into the transformative power of books across genres, from metaphysics to autobiographies, and discuss how harnessing the act of writing can distill our chaotic thought clouds into a focused beam of clarity. It's a conversation that empowers us to shape our realities with the stories we choose to tell ourselves and share with the world.

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Join in the conversation as we discuss the courage required to embrace multiple identities and expand beyond our comfort zones. From his leap from soldier to life coach to Asher's triumph over ADD and dyslexia, he shares the struggles and victories that come with finding and asserting one's voice.  

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Asher (00:00):
But then I realized it's the identity piece.
I was in the crisis of identity.
I figured who am I going to beoutside of the military?
Because I was in that system.
That made me great.
And my question was can I begreat out of this system, out of
the military system?
And I couldn't figure it outand it took me a while to like
OK, asher, let's build somethingoff your own.

(00:20):
And that's when I started myentrepreneurial journey.
I sat for the whole year.
I sat and write my first book.
This was a lot of work.
I've never written a bookbefore.
But once I started doing it I'mlike oh, I can do this.
My know, ability, mycredibility, my believability
all those stuff started fallingin place and, man, it's so, so
good.

Mikita (00:39):
Hey there a small-town I'm Mikita girl with dreams who
started a podcast with an oldheadset and a laptop at my
kitchen table and made my dreamscome true.
On my podcast, time for Teawith Makita, we chat about
living life unapologetically, onyour terms, from career advice,
entrepreneurship, relationshipsand everything in between.

(01:00):
This one-stop your shop forreal conversations and
inspiration.
If you're looking forconnection, then you've found it
here.
Join me every Tuesday as wedive into those sometimes hard
to have conversations.
So grab a cup of tea or coffeeand get comfy, because this is
Time for Tea with Makita, andthe tea is definitely hot.

(01:22):
Ever feel like you need asuperpower boost of motivation
with exclusive tips and toolswith your goals in mind?
Well, say hello to your newinspiration hotspot, the Tuesday
Tea Newsletter.
You're a weekly infusion of bigthinking energy that will
propel you to chase your wildestdreams and never shy away from

(01:43):
using the power of your voice.
Sign up for the Tuesday TeaNewsletter today at
beautifullyandbalancedcom andelevate your goals to the next
level.
Welcome back.
It is definitely Time for sometea.
I am Makita.
I just want to thank you somuch for sharing your time, your
space and your amazing energywith me today.
Today, I am reminded of a quoteby Alan Watt that says the only

(02:08):
way to make sense out of changeis to plunge into it, move with
it and join the dance, whichbrings me to today's guest.
He is a veteran, with over 22years of service in the US Army.
He is now a wisdom coach andco-host of Pandora's Awareness
Podcast.
He is renowned for his insightsinto personal transformation

(02:31):
and overcoming life's challenges, from his journey from Jamaica
to the front lines ofentrepreneurship.
His testament of resilience andthe power of embracing change
speaks for itself.
Asher, first of all, thank youfor your service and thank you
for sharing your time and energywith us today.

Asher (02:50):
Makita, the American population and you, my friend,
was worth my sacrifice, soabsolutely I enjoy doing it.

Mikita (02:58):
Thank you.
I am actually very excited tohave this conversation with you.
I believe you have such aninteresting story and career
path.
First of all, just start off byjust sharing a little insight
into your career path andtelling us a little bit about

(03:20):
where you're at today.

Asher (03:23):
OK, you go right into the juice system, didn't you?

Mikita (03:25):
Yeah, I like to get into the juice system right away
.

Asher (03:28):
But before I even jump in that, I want to just I love the
acronym you have on yourpodcast Time for Tea, and tea is
an acronym I use.
It's called Time, energy andAttention.
So we're going to sip up sometea, some amazing Time, Energy
and Attention today.
So I appreciate how you're kindof framing your podcast.
By the way, I love it.

Mikita (03:47):
Thank you, and I love that acronym.
I might steal it.

Asher (03:50):
Yeah, you can keep it, because it's already in your
thing.
Time, energy and Attention.
Sip on that tea, my friend.

Mikita (03:55):
I'm going to sip on it.

Asher (03:56):
Yeah, my story started back in Jamaica.
I grew up in Jamaica, movedfrom Jamaica to the United
States.
18 years old I show up on theshores of Connecticut.
That's where I might right nowActually, I just moved back here
in July, so I'm going to giveyou that part of the story.
But so I got to United Statesand I joined the military and I

(04:22):
was interested when I first gothere because I've been a dreamer
most of my life.
I was going to see the worldand when I was growing up in
Jamaica my grandparents wasalready in the United States so
I didn't really know them thatmuch until I got to the United
States.
I see, maybe no one then, but Ialways dreamed about coming to
the United States and I used tolisten to a lot of the farm

(04:42):
workers that used to come toAmerica, canada or England.
They used to go farm work andthey'd come back to Jamaica.
They used to tell a lot ofstories and I used to be one of
those little kids that would sitaround and listen to the story
and dream One day I'm going toget to see the world, because
they were telling an amazingstory.
I'm like, oh my god, one day Iget to see the world.
So out of all of my siblings Igot eight siblings.
My parents got nine kids.
I was just a dreamer.
I wanted to see the world.

(05:03):
So when I got to United StatesI sort of was like, ok,
connecticut is beautiful, but Iwant to see the rest of the
world.
And I was asking questions tomy uncles and some of my cousins
and all the folks that was here, like, hey, how do I get to see
the world?
They were giving me a differentoption and the military option
showed up.
So four months into my timehere I signed up I just go sign
some paperwork and then eightmonths later I was in training

(05:24):
and then that took me around theworld just seeing it and
enjoying it in all places.
I did 22 years in the militaryand then I finally hanged it up
last year.
I retired last year and after Iretired last year I took a year
sabbatical, just repurposed mymindset, figured out exactly
what I'm going to take on thisnew frontier, this other life
outside the military.
And this is where I'm at today,right now.

(05:45):
So I stopped right there.

Mikita (05:47):
OK, now I'm curious of the stories that you used to
hear about coming to UnitedStates, was there one story that
kind of stuck out to you, anexperience that you really
wanted to experience?
Because I remember being a kidlistening to my siblings tell
stories about being a teenager.
And I'm like man, I can't waitto be a teenager.

(06:09):
I'm going to do all thesethings and I get to be a
teenager and things had changedso much.
It was like I know I'm going todo something totally different.

Asher (06:21):
That's a very interesting question, by the way.
I love the way you just putthat on me just now.
So here's something.
So the first 18 years of mylife I've never seen the snow.
So always hear a story aboutthe snow and the amazing thing
about all year the planet isjust green and stuff, and then
winter comes and everythingfalls off and then everything
becomes white.
You're like, wow, people talkabout how amazing the snow is.

(06:43):
So when I first saw the snow, Iloved it.
But then I joined the militaryand I didn't understand what
cold feel like.
Until it came to America.
I joined the military, I was inthe military and the military
doesn't really dress you toowarm because they don't want you
to overheat or get some kind ofheat stroke whatever.
So you kind of dressed up acertain way and then I was like,
oh, I could do this, I could dothis.

(07:03):
And then I started to playfootball training and I used to
be miserable in the cold.
I used to hate it.
Oh my god, the cold wasmiserable.
And then I started wintersporting.
So when I started snowboardingI realized how I could dress for
the cold and from I startedwinter sporting, doing
snowboarding and stuff.
Then I fell in love with wintereven more and now I look

(07:24):
forward to winter.
I don't really get frustrated.
I go my god, winter is here.
So just dreaming about the snowlife.
That was something that.
So that's gonna tie to mychildhood stuff, yeah.

Mikita (07:34):
Well, I do love I'm in Virginia, so I do love the fact
that Virginia gives you all fourseasons, like you're gonna get
a spring, you're gonna get asummer, you're gonna get a fall
and you're gonna get a winter.
We haven't gotten as much snow,but the only thing I like about
the winter is that it snows andbecause we're not as equipped

(07:55):
as some places, usually theyclose down the workplace and
like you're off.
That's the most.
Yes, you get to stay home, sothat is like the most exciting
part being a dog, being a kid.
Yeah, the snow and it comingfrom a place that it doesn't
snow I can imagine.

(08:16):
But you only spent like fourmonths and then you're like I
want to see the world, I'm gonnajoin the military and travel
the world.
So anyone in your family werein any form of military life at
all.

Asher (08:31):
So when I first got to me and my cousin, we were the
first to join the military formy family.
So he got here like a monthbefore I did and then he signed
up like a few months before Idid, because so he and I was the
first two.
My sisters, my nephew, right,no, he did.
He also went in the military.
He got out now too.
All of us are out now, but hewas the first one.
So we was both thinking thesame way like, oh, we got to do

(08:53):
something different with ourlife.
Because I grew up rough.
My friend Tell you a short storyLike the first decade of my
life going up in Jamaica, myfamily, my, actually I got these
nine of us.
So the first decade I didn'thave no plumbing Just kind of
give you some perspective.
No plumbing, no electricity.
We had one bedroom house.

(09:13):
We always like 10 of us in aone bedroom house on this little
hill right, a little kitchenoutside was like three rock
stones right.
I mean it was poverty, right.
So I saw that first decade ofmy life in the 80s and then, you
know, next decade we kind ofmove into a little different
place to move in.
We got a different, betterplace, so forth and so on.

(09:33):
But I've been always looking tomake my life great.
I was like from where I startedat to where I'm at today.
So much gratitude, my friend.
But I started from a very, veryplace of hard work, rough life.
So when I came to America I waslike I'm here to do something
great.
I got to do something big withmy life.
Like all the sacrifices myparents did to move us off the

(09:54):
island of Jamaica to get here,I'm gonna make it count.
So I joined the military and Iwouldn't take a lot of risk in
my life.
But I made it to 22 years ofservice.
I got to that side of it.
The US Army was likeauniversity for me.
It was like my.
It was not just a trainingbootcamp, but the university
taught me a lot over the years.
So I'm very grateful for themilitary.
Like I always tell people likeAmerica is the greatest country

(10:15):
in the world, like I would saythat any day, any time, right,
the military has done a lot forme, america has done a lot for
me.
So I'm eternally grateful forthis country for what it done
for me and my family.

Mikita (10:25):
I come from a military background family.
My dad was in the military Onlyone of my brothers because I
have four older brothers, nosisters.
So it was fun with us but onlyone of my siblings joined the
military.
I wanted to join the militarybut my mom was like.
She was like I don't thinkyou're cut out for military life

(10:45):
.
I just don't see it for you.
She may have been right, I don'tknow, but I feel like if it was
meant to be, I would have didit anyway, because I'm one of
those headstrong people that I'mjust going to do whatever I
want to do regardless.
So I felt like maybe she mighthave been right about that, but

(11:06):
for the same reason, yeah, Iwanted to see the world.
I wanted to experience adifferent way of life, a
different culture that was sodifferent than my own, and we
come from a poverty background.
My father died when I was young, so that left my mom raising
all five of us on her own.
So things were not always great, but we were.

(11:27):
You know, I think everybody hassome type of struggle and
things that happen that leadsthem to the purpose and journey
that they're supposed to be.
On Considering your owntransformation and how do you
think your experience in thearmy shape your perspectives on

(11:50):
life and your personaltransformation?

Asher (11:54):
I'm gonna start this conversation around these three
things that I worked on so hardto really make really my life.
I call it the three vocabularymy thinking vocabulary, my
writing vocabulary, my speakingvocabulary and we get challenged
in a lot of like the armypushed me let me know what my
body can do.
So I know what my body can dophysically.

(12:16):
Then I gotta come back to thespace where what can my mind do?
Because it's been tested too.
So now that I transitioned fromthe military, I'm just gonna
speak on this side of it.
So, when I transitioned fromthe military, I'm focusing on
how do I maximize my thinkingvocabulary, or the improved it
my writing vocabulary vocabulary, speaking vocabulary Because I
realize in those spaces like ifyou can master those three

(12:36):
things, combine them and likesync them up, you become very
powerful, very dangerous.
So now that's what I do.
So I started this challengeback in 2016, and it was to read
and list 100 book a year and athousand book in 10 years.
I'm on my seventh year.
Over.
I was 700 books completedalready and I learned how to

(12:57):
really pursue goals because ofthe military.
That's what the militarytransformed me how to really get
stuff done and I realized I hadthis amazing skill and I was
like, if I can do 22 years inthe military, commit myself to
that system, to thatorganization, made it great.
Can I do the same thing for mepersonally in my own life?
Can I find something to commitmy life to?
That same way?
And I'm working on me and thecoaching system I'm putting

(13:19):
together and the entrepreneurialjourney I'm on.
So I'm committed 10 years.
So now I'm saying one of my goalis to write 86 book about my 86
birthday.
I started that journey at theend of 2021, and on my third
book right now and I'm workingtowards that thing.
You know what I'm saying.
So it's all about how do youcombine those three vocabulary
and make sure that you're sharpin all those three areas Think

(13:41):
for yourself, can write andspeak and what I discovered is
the thing that made a lot of usreally, really powerful is how
you write down your thoughts,because if I'm thinking these
awesome things, then can I putthem on paper and then, once
they're on paper.
Can I speak them out and once Irealize those three things, all
they kind of sync up, that'sall I'm all about right now

(14:02):
Empower people to empower them,serving those three areas.
You've answered your question.

Mikita (14:07):
You did.
I love the fact that youchallenge yourself in that way,
but I'm curious the books thatyou're reading, are they all
personal development type ofbooks, or do you play around?
Because, honestly, I will sayfor me I really just got into
the reading books.
That helps further my knowledgeand challenge me to think on a

(14:34):
different level.
I used to just read books andI'm an avid reader.
Like I could read books all day, every day.
But they want books that wereactually helping with growth per
se.

Asher (14:51):
Okay, good question too I focus on.
I started off with three areasmetaphysics, psychology and
philosophy.
I love those three areas.
I used to do a lot of readingon those, reading the books on
those areas.
But this year I started becausefor next year my goal is to do
straight autobiographies.
So I started because I finishedmy seventh one goal for this
year.
So I already started on my 800goal and I've been working on

(15:14):
most autobiography Because Irealized that nobody that's not
working on my story and my goalis to help other people craft
their own story.
So I'm reading a lot of booksaround how other people their
lifestyle, how they write theirown autobiographies, how they
create their own stories.
So I'm focusing on those booksnow, but mainly it was before.
It was all self-developmentstuff, mostly self-development
because I was just working on meand those books that resonate

(15:36):
with me are mostly philosophy,psychology, metaphysics and all
the leadership stuff out there.

Mikita (15:41):
Yeah, and there is a mental game in everything, I
feel like when we take a momentto pause and we, if you're able
to, like you said, if you'reable to think it, speak it and
write it, but you have to be ina place where you can let go of
different thoughts likesometimes kind of hold us back,

(16:03):
things that we have to recognizesome of the thoughts that we're
carrying, because oursubconscious thoughts become our
conscious thoughts a lot of thetime.
And if we're seeing thosethings for ourselves
subconsciously, then eventuallywe're gonna consciously say them
and if we're thinking that muchabout it, then we're gonna
write it down and some of thosethings can become our reality,

(16:27):
which we know really are not ourreality.
But if we don't bring attentionto some of the things that
we're thinking about, it canhere's why I write in so
powerful.

Asher (16:39):
I'm tapping that thought piece because I call it a
thought universe, right?
So I realize that thoughts likenone of the thoughts you have
is yours, none of it is mine.
We just entertain it.
So now what I do is, when thethought shows up, I write them
down and I figure out which oneI'm going to give my attention
to like a T concept,time-enaging attention, which
one of those thoughts, once Iwrite them down, I'm going to

(16:59):
entertain, I'm going to thinkabout more.
So I fell in love with thisprocess.
I thought I'd start writing.
I'm like man things become alot easier when you sit down and
you write about the things thatyou want to think about.
Because if you sit there withyour thoughts, it's going to
just go run around and hoparound, right.
But once you extract thosethoughts, write them down.
Now you can say I'm going tothink about that idea right now

(17:20):
and I focus on thinking aboutthe idea, what thoughts are on
that idea, and I keep thinkingabout it and now it becomes
easier.
So a lot of times when peopleare like, oh, I don't know the
way I feel, right, I tell youwhat everybody fear, what you
feel too.
We fear our feelings.
And your feelings are driven bythe thoughts you have.
So I'm afraid of my feelings,because sometimes I think about

(17:40):
stuff.
Maybe that's what I'm going tolike the way I feel.
That's how we fear.
We fear our feelings.
So I go back to the thoughtpiece, like you got to think
about the stuff you're thinkingabout, like think about your
thinking, and then you write itdown and like okay, let me
pursue that idea.
Now I can think about itdifferently, but you're just
chasing thoughts in my head.
Does that make any sense?

Mikita (17:58):
It does because I love to write.
I do, I love to write, I'malways up to write and I keep a
journal, and it's the only I'mgoing to say, the only thing,
because I have two things that Ilike to do.
I love to keep a journal so Ican actually come back and
assess some of the stuff thatI'm saying.
And when I'm in the car bymyself, I love to have

(18:23):
conversations with myself totalk things out, because that's
the only way.
Sometimes, when I hear it orwhen I say stuff, I realize
that's not what I'm feeling ornot what I'm really thinking.
Like, that is not even me or my.
This has been imposed on me bysomething else.
Like you say, a lot of mythoughts are not, definitely not

(18:44):
ours.
But when you can write, when youstart writing your feelings
down, your thoughts down, yourealize what you originally
thought or felt is not thereality of what's really
happening.
So I find that writing it downhelps you to articulate and
speak it out easier.
So if I can't explain, I don'tknow how I'm feeling or know why

(19:06):
I'm feeling the way out,there's no way I can sit down
and have a conversation withsomeone else about my feelings
and why they are the way theyare, if I don't understand what
is going on here and then givingaway to that fear because there
is a certain amount of fearwhen it comes to saying that
made me feel some type of way,whether it was sad, angry.
I think we're easier to acceptanger, like I can say I'm angry,

(19:30):
but I don't want to say thisthing made me sad or hurt me or
made me feel that way.

Asher (19:36):
Wow, I would give you a little insight into what I'm
writing about right now.
I call it the philosophy indoing the PhD.
Philosophy in doing the PhD,the philosophy in being and the
being part is a big part calledreflection, because we are
comfortable with doing, doing,doing.
But then the being part, thePhD side of the house, where we

(20:00):
reflect on the feeling, theemotion piece, the thing that we
fear the most in the world isour feelings.
When we start reflecting onthose things and figuring out
exactly what is this root causeof this feeling like, oh, this
is what it is, I can fix thistotally, but without that
self-reflection we don'tactually find it.
We don't find the root cause.
And writing helps me solve that.
And when I work with people andI talk to people, same thing

(20:21):
like, hey, let's focus on PhD,we know how to do things, but
how to be, that's the hard partbeing in feelings and
understanding what it is andwhat causes it.
And then, oh, this is exactlywhat it is.
Oh, it came from me having toissue with my mind.
This is the piece where I'mfeeling this.
Right now I start solving thosethings and life becomes a lot
more easy.
You can explain exactly what'sgoing on in your system and I

(20:45):
find that very empowering for me.
So anyone that's listening it'sall about really like people
don't understand how powerfulwriting is until they start
doing it, cause we get used tojust thinking about stuff.
But thinking by itself is justyou entertaining.
You know what it's like?
A swarm of net is flying aroundyou.
You just watch, entertainingthose things, but you pick one
and you put him down and youstart looking at him like, oh,

(21:06):
examine it.
Oh, this is what it's going on,but this is what it's about.
Then you start understandingyour feelings and your brain and
once I understand my own brain,man, I feel so powerful, like
there's no stage that is too bigfor me right now, like I can do
anything.
You know what I'm saying.

Mikita (21:25):
I definitely understand that.
I'm curious to know, though,from your transition from being
in the service to being a wisdomcoach, what were some of your
biggest obstacles or things thatyou had to let go of, to you
know, to step into that space.

Asher (21:43):
Good timing, one of the things that you know.
So when I was in the militaryand I left, the military space
came out to the sub-money space.
I feel like I didn't havecredibility because all of the
things that I've accomplishedwas inside of the military,
inside of that community.
So now, because I want to dosomething completely different
from what I did in the military,I was like, okay, how can I
find credibility in space?
And, oh my God, like I wentthrough some depression, some

(22:07):
anxiety, I mean a whole bunch ofstuff Like listen, after the
first three months after I gotout of the military I didn't do
nothing Like listen, I waslaying in bed like for three
months, paralyzed by fear, byanxiety, by depression, because
I was like the thing I want todo right now, I have all the

(22:27):
things worked out, but I justcouldn't take any action because
I felt like a fraud.
I don't feel like I wascredible and all those stuff was
keep showing up.
I was like why am I feelingthis?
Like what happened?
What is feeling came from?
Like what happened?
Like I run into fire, fire,fire, whatever.
It doesn't matter what it is,but right now I'm sitting here
paralyzed by this.
But then I realized it's theidentity piece.

(22:47):
I was in the crisis of identity.
I figured, who am I going to beoutside of the military?
Because I was in that system,that system that made me great.
And my question was can I begreat out of this system, out of
the military system?
And I couldn't figure it outand it took me a while to like
okay, asher, let's buildsomething off your own.
And this one.

(23:08):
I started my entrepreneurialjourney like, oh, you got to go
and build something.
So I did start.
I sat for the whole year I satand write my first book.
I sit down and I was like youknow what I'm going to craft my
ideas, my story, everything puttogether.
I'm going to write it out.
And I felt a sense of relief.
Once I finished it.
I'm like but it took, it was alot of work, Because I never
written a book before.
Like I mean, it was just a lotof work.
But once I started doing it,I'm like, oh, I can do this.

(23:30):
Wow, I can.
And then I start finding peoplethat would help me organize my
thinking.
I'm like oh my God, it is mucheasier than I thought, because
at first I was like this is alot of work.
Like man, I wasn't the greatestwriter, but then I found
editors man editors, oh my Godand they was like oh no, we have
writers do this, this and that.
So then I started finding thosepeople and the stuff started

(23:51):
falling in place and I feel likeI'm credible, unbelievable.
My knowability, my credibility,my believability, right, all
those stuff started falling inplace and I felt it started
really good.

Mikita (24:05):
I love that you said the fact that you felt that
sense of fear actually came fromidentity, because I think
sometimes, when you have,sometimes we place identities on
ourselves like you, are thisAll right for me?
I am my full-time job as anurse, so it's like you're a

(24:25):
nurse, but it's like that's not.
That doesn't encompasseverything of who I am, and
sometimes we put ourselves as inbox, in boxes, and it's like
how can I expand upon the boxthat I've?
You know, I sort of placemyself in, I let other people
place me in this box, but howcan I expand that and be more

(24:46):
than just a nurse?
Or you, more than just, youknow, a veteran?
But you're so many things youknow, your speaker, your writer,
your podcast host, like there'sa lot of facets that go into
making up who we are and a lotof times, fear and what

(25:08):
perceptions we think otherpeople are going to say about us
.
Because the first thing Ithought about is what is someone
who knows me going to say like,who is she?
Like I wasn't really worriedabout people that didn't know me
because they don't know me so,but people that know me be like
well, when did she get all youknow, like I know her.
So when did she start doingthis, or who is this person?

(25:32):
And then, like you say,questioning the credibility
piece and then, like you said,you did something hard.
You stepped into your fear andconfronting it seemed like it
just opened up this possibilityfor you to say, not only can I
do that, but I can do a lot ofother things.
Did you feel like that, likeafter you confronted it?

Asher (25:54):
Oh, my God.
Okay, so we talk about thecrisis of identity, or then in
the crisis piece of it, becausemy first identity was I'm a
soldier.
I've been a soldier for 22years.
I know that thing.
I can do that all day.
Right, I'm good at being asoldier.
But then I say I'm an author.
Now, I'm a life coach, I'm awisdom coach.

(26:14):
Like that new identity.
They go to crisis like battleof those two identity.
Asher, you're an author.
No, you're not an author,you're a fraud.
You're not an author.
Yet I'd be publishing the book.
Like, for me to claim thatidentity took a lot of work,
because one I had to educatemyself into it.
I wasn't educated into it yet,I was just learning it.
But then you want, you'reassuming, and you're like this

(26:37):
is me now.
And the soldier was like, no,you're not that.
Yet You're still a soldier.
You're not an author, youhaven't written it.
You haven't written any book,you haven't done anything in
that space.
So it was really rough until Ihad to find my way, like, okay,
I'm this, I'm assuming thisidentity it's me now.
I'm going to embody it, I'mgoing to make it real.
And I had to convince that ofmyself.
It took me three months toconvince myself.
Do you know the kind ofconversation I was having for

(27:00):
those three months, saying, oh,I want to be an author, I want
to be a life coach, I want to bethis and that I want to be an
entrepreneur?
And the other thing was to knowyou're a soldier guy, what are
you talking about?
Like, go back to being asoldier, I'll go hang out in
that community.
I'm like no, I'm switching, I'mchanging my new way of life.
Now and it was a lot of hardwork until I worked on myself
I'm like okay, I'm settling.

(27:20):
I'm like I am an author, I am alife coach, I am an
entrepreneur.
And then finally I believed it.
It took me three months tobelieve that about myself and
once I believed it, I went afterit relentlessly Like you
understand, like I know I canget stuff done.
So now I become the identitythat I want to be and I get to

(27:41):
do it, and doing is not aproblem for me.
I can do things Like that's whyI call myself a wisdom coach,
because wisdom means application, you apply.
And doing things Like how doyou get things done?
That's what wisdom is.
You apply and what you know.
So now I just go and do it andI have other people do the thing
that they said they want to be.
Okay, once you assume the beingpart of it, then go do it and

(28:03):
then you're going to become itonce you start doing it.
I learned that stuff in themilitary, so now life becomes a
lot more easy because now Irecognize what I am in that
identity space.
And you mentioned somethingabout box, which I like.
I want to re-film that processbecause the box thing is very
important, because I think wegot to create our own boxes,

(28:23):
because we operate better in theboxes we create, because first
you get to create that box fromthat box, you operate in that
box, you master that box, thenyou expand Right and then you
create, you expand.
That's like the universe itself, like planet Earth is a bubble,
like the universe recognizedthat we evolve in bubbles, so
they create its bubble for us toevolve in.
Within this bubble.
I create my own bubble and Imaximize my bubble.

(28:43):
As soon as I master it, thatspace, I expand it Right and I
keep doing that Because theboxes we all need, the boxes
that we create for ourselves,not what other people create for
us.

Mikita (28:55):
I like that expanding on your own box because, like
you said, you can expand and youcan be.
I think sometimes people thinkthey have to do one thing or the
other, but I think, like we arecreative beings, we create all
the time.
That's what we do.
We're constantly creating.
And who says you have to createone thing or stick to one thing

(29:17):
?
Like we are a multi-talentedpeople that definitely can
create in our boxes whatever wewant.
But how do you help people thatyou're coaching to get to that
point of saying I'm willing tostep out on my own and claim

(29:38):
that I am all of these thingsand then embody who they want to
show up as in this world?

Asher (29:50):
That question triggers the word purpose on me, because
oftentimes that's what we battlewith purpose, like what is my
purpose in life, so forth and soon.
But here's how it is a journeyright now.
This is a journey If you listento this right now.
Think about the things that arenot right in your life right
now, the things that are notright.
Just think about them.
You can write them down.
Think about the things that arenot right in your life and then

(30:11):
you think about the things thatare right.
I take people to that sameprocess.
If you think about the thingsthat are not right, once you
align that problem with asolution, then you find purpose.
You got to start with fixingthe things that are not right in
your life and oftentimes thosethings that really hold you down
are the things that are notright and the things that are
right.
You recognize those and begrateful for those, because you

(30:31):
want more of those and thingsthat are not right.
That's why you find yourpurpose and you go fix those,
because once you start fixingthose, you can have other people
fix the same thing.
But oftentimes people don'twant to look at their own life,
see the things, because Ibelieve this universe attached
to you like your purpose youattach to your problem like a
fragrance, like a perfume.
No matter how fast you run orhow far you run, you're going to

(30:51):
still smell like it.
You can't escape it.
And once you realize thosethings that the universe
attached to you, you don't missthem because you got to fix them
, you got to solve those things.
Once you solve those, yourealize that, oh my God, the
whole time my purpose has beenfollowing me around like a tale
and I've been not thinking aboutit as a purpose, but they're a
problem in your life.
And once you fix those, we comeback to other people.
Because now you're like hey, Ijust solved this health problem

(31:14):
I was having.
Now I can help you solve thatproblem in your own life because
I have a solution.
Now I've synced up my problemwith the solution.
I can show you exactly what Idid to sync up yours.
And now purpose revealed itself.
But you're like what's mypurpose?
Like the universe attached toyou already it's the biggest
problem you got in your liferight now.
That's your purpose, right,figure those out and

(31:34):
automatically you become viableto the world, the community
around me, because a lot ofother people have the same
problem that you might berunning away from.
That you need to solve foryourself, and I start doing that
.
Here's one of the problems thatI had for myself.
I struggled with ADD anddyslexia.
Those are the symptoms Istruggled with my whole life and
for the first 34 years of mylife the only book I read from

(31:56):
cover to cover was the Bible.
So it felt like it took me 35years to read one book because I
was telling myself this storyoh, actually you can't read.
Reading is the most boringthing ever, and when you look at
words in the book it just putsyou to sleep.
You just I mean, oh my God, itwas so challenging.
But then I said this go like,actually I gotta fix this, it
can't no longer be my story.
So at 36 I was like you knowwhat?

(32:16):
I'm gonna start a challenge.
I'm gonna read and list the 100book a year.
Once I figured out to do that,I'm like, oh my God, this is
actually easy, because first Ididn't feel like I had the time,
but then I stopped watching TV,I stopped listening to sports,
I stopped even listening tomusic.
I just straight reading and allyour books, that is it, and I
remove all of those habits thatI used to have about doing those

(32:37):
other things.
I get to put them back in mylife.
But I get to put them backthere deliberately, not just
habitually.
So when I started doing that,I'm like, oh my God.
So all the people that aresaying that they can't read,
they can't write, so forth andso on, you can.
Because that problem, theuniverse, attached me like a
fragrance.
I couldn't escape the story.
I said I couldn't read, Icouldn't escape it.
I had to face it.
Once I faced it, I'm like man.

(32:59):
My power is in it, because Iwas being very poetic most of my
life.
I could write.
I just couldn't write Englishlanguage.
But in my mind I think aboutideas, I think about stories and
so forth and so on.
I could write those, but notusing the English language.
I wasn't good at it, so Ididn't share it with anybody.
But once I started learning howto do it, I'm like man.
I get very artistic now Becausenow all the stuff that was in

(33:21):
me, because I'm very feelingdriven, now I can put those into
words and emotionally attachedto other people's story and help
them feel empowered.
I'm going to stop right here.

Mikita (33:33):
I must say I like all these thoughts because we do,
and in thinking about, sometimes, the stories we tell ourselves
about our problems and how weface them, I would say mine is
no one cares what you have tosay, no one's listening to you.

Asher (33:55):
Thank you you.

Mikita (33:59):
And I come from a pretty big family, like four
older siblings.
My mom and I have a host ofcousins and we grew up very
close knitted together.
But I'm like one of theyoungest girls and you have to
speak loud to get heard and alot of times you can get drowned

(34:22):
out in big families if youcan't speak up loud enough.
So for me, starting a podcastspeaking, it was like my way of
speaking.
The one thing I thought no onewanted to hear, no one was
listening.
So stepping into that was mestepping into the fear and
purpose of who I am.

(34:42):
So for those who are listening,like whatever it is, take some
time, write it down, becauseonce you start examining it and
you can face it, and once youcan face it you can start
letting it go.
I truly believe that.

Asher (34:59):
Wow, you just opened up the thought universe for me
again.
You said something that's soempowering just now.
Like no one cares, no one islistening, and then you create a
podcast and no people arelistening.

Mikita (35:18):
You know, it's funny because, just another problem
just the other day a daughterasked me.
She was like mom, did you everthink when you start your
podcast, it would be as big asit is?
And I said, you know, I'm aCapricorn, so I feel like
Capricorns are really full ofthemselves, or it might just be
me.
What I was like in my mind Iwas like, yes, I was like, but

(35:43):
internally I was like no, like Iwas just like expecting like
maybe one listener or somethinglike that, but to see the growth
and to see.
But, like you said, it alsotakes you to come into that
world and say this is who I amand then educate yourself and

(36:04):
also be willing to get help, askfor help.
Like you know, I know where myshortcomings lie and I know
where I need to say I needsomeone else who's more
experienced here to help guideme, to mentor me, because I
don't know it all.

Asher (36:23):
Wow, nobody cares, nobody's listening.
And then that story.
It was so fast but that storywas telling itself, right, a lot
of people say the same thing,right, nobody cares.
But here's the thing likenobody cares about your writing,
asher.
But here's what I did for myfirst book, just kind of tied
with what you're saying rightnow.

(36:44):
I wrote my first book.
I started a conversation withthe world, right, to see what
people think about what I write,how I think, cause I have 86
books.
Right, I have another 83 morebooks to figure out exactly what
the master, the author ofwriting.
But how do we start aconversation Like, if you don't,
if you didn't start speakingout, how you would know
somebody's listening?
Like you say nobody's listening, but you haven't been speaking,

(37:06):
so how will you know that?
Right, you haven't spoken outthere for people to say, oh, I
love the way you think, and soforth, makita, but we tell
ourselves that we haven'texperimented on it enough to say
, oh my God, I put stuff outthere and people are saying yes
or no to it, but that didn'thappen.
But in our mind we're sayingthe same thing, like I was
saying nobody likes my writing,but I haven't put my writing out
there to even say that, madethat claim I didn't like my

(37:27):
writing because I wasn'tinsecure about my writing.
That doesn't mean the worlddidn't like it.
But the world will say, oh,asher, we like when you say this
, but the other part does changethat I'm gonna get those
feedback from the first book.
But I go change some stuff up,like, oh, I love this
conversation with the world nowCause nobody can adjust my
writing to kind of help them orother people based on what
people wanna hear, what theyneed and how they're like.

(37:48):
Oh, actually, when you writethis way, we love it.
Let me focus on writing thisway.
Right, but I wouldn't even havethis conversation with the
world if I didn't putinformation out there first,
like the podcast.
Same thing.
I'm doing podcasts cause I loveprobably speaking, because one
of my biggest challenge withdyslexia is I just stumble over
my word.
I used to just mess with myinsecurities so much like, oh my
God, I didn't even wanna eventalk sometime because I have
this list plus it's other way Ididn't really open my mouth to

(38:10):
speak.
I mean, all this is thedifficulty I was having with
speaking.
So I was always awesomelistener, like most of my life.
I used to listen Very goodlistener by the way, everybody's
actually a very good listenerBecause I don't even talk, I
just listen.
But now I'm like I gotta speakand all the words for me to
speak, for me to practicespeaking.
So I start a podcast.
I went and joined Toastmasters,all these things, cause I'm
working on my speaking, becauseI realized that this problem

(38:32):
that I have what was thequestion I asked the audience is
like what's wrong in your life,what's not right in your life?
And then you find a way to makethat right.
Like, what was not right in mylife?
I wasn't able to speak, Iwasn't able to write.
I was an awesome thinker.
I was been an awesome thinker,very deep thinker, but when it
comes to expressing my thoughtsin speaking or writing, man, I

(38:53):
used to think I was the worst.
But I had to change that story.
I had to do things to find away if that was really true.
So I start writing and startspeaking.
People listen like, oh, theylike it or don't like it, but
I'm getting feedback now You'regetting feedback from your
podcast now.
So now do people care?
They do.
So that story about oh, nobodycares, that was not true.

Mikita (39:15):
And sometimes the stories we tell ourselves.
Until we do it we don't know.
So if you're listening,whatever it is, until you do it
you don't know.
And you have to be open to thegrowth process Because I think
there's growth.
I think someone you know giveyou feedback on anything is part
of you growing.

(39:36):
It's not saying you didanything wrong.
It's saying we're going to helpyou to grow and expand upon and
become better at your purposeand what you're doing.

Asher (39:48):
Sinking up your thinking vocabulary, your writing
vocabulary, your speakingvocabulary.
If you can master those threeareas, you become dangerous man.
I'm telling you like people arelike, wow, oh, actually I like
to have intellectualconversation like really good
ones.
That's just me, I just lovethose.
And when I'm sitting inconversation, people are we just
having those really deepthoughts with great ideas come
alive Because my brain work.

(40:08):
Here's something that if you'rea person that have ADD, you
probably don't realize this,Because with ADD symptoms, like
my brain processes people veryfast, Like the cycle of my
processing ideas very fast, andbecause it's so fast, sometimes
people don't understand howsmart you can be, how much you
can process the idea, becauseyour brain work fast and all the

(40:29):
people's brain.
It's just that you don't knowto focus it.
I didn't know to focus my brain, but when I'm looking at, when
I'm in a situation, even on themilitary, when I'm in a
situation, I see solution veryfast.
My challenge was I couldn'texplain them.
I explain in a complicated wayand people are like what are you
talking about, Asher?
Like we don't get it.
Like man, I see the solution, Ijust couldn't explain it.
I was like I gotta fix this.

(40:50):
So I started working on myspeaking, organizing my thinking
.
So now when I see solution on asituation, I'm like, hey, this
is what it is, I can point itout.
People can get it now and guesswhat, no matter what kind of
problem is, my brain works LikeI understand my brain.
My brain works very fast.
I mean that can process ideasway fast, and all the people.
And now I'm figuring out how tocommunicate that in a less

(41:10):
complicated way and now I findpower in the world.
So, my God, oh my God.
Anyway, you get me.
You get me all emotional rightnow, girl.

Mikita (41:19):
But I like that three step, I like that.
I like how you process that tomake it work.
I am not a fast thinker.
I am.
I'm very cautious, so I likeeven though I come up with a
thought and idea or a solution.
I'm one of those people thathave to see it in both ways
first, which is probably toomuch, because I'm probably

(41:41):
overthinking it, which usuallyis the case.
But I want to see it both wayshow it could go good and how it
may not go so great, and thenfigure it out, which probably
too much thinking.
But Actually.

Asher (41:56):
no, actually, it's actually a good thing.
This is something I alsolearned.
So you gotta think military too.
You gotta think about the bestcase scenario, the worst case
scenario.
You gotta actually do that withyou.
This is a good thinking process,thinking cycle, because you're
trying to filter out exactly thebest case scenario and the
worst case scenario.
And then you gotta figure outokay, so if the worst case
happened, can I live with it.
If the best case happened, do Iwant it right?
And you're like okay, so youcan focus on the best case

(42:16):
scenario.
When the worst case happened,like, oh, I'm thinking about the
worst case.
No, let me stop moving to thebest case scenario.
So those are very powerful wayof thinking, my friend, to see
both angles of best case andworst case.
I had to learn that too,because I used to just jump into
things and leap into thingswithout thinking about all of
that.
But meaning the military youthink about, you assume the
worst and the best and the worst, and then which one do you
really wanna put your focus on?
Is the best case scenario?

(42:37):
But if you notice you even fallinto the worst case scenario
because you already thoughtabout it, then guess what You're
like.
Oh, I have a plan for thatbecause I thought about it
already.

Mikita (42:44):
So that was very powerful thinking, by the way,
Well, thank you, and this hasbeen such an amazing
conversation.
Before we wrap things up,though, tell me one way you are
redefining self-care for you inyour life.

Asher (43:03):
My biggest care for self right now is my sleep, my sleep.
I am going through therapy forthat right now.
It's crazy.
I'm gonna give you a shortstory, because I'm back home now
and One of the things that Ihave really, because one thing I

(43:24):
have a lot of challenges with,because for the last decade of
my military career I wasoperating about three, four
hours asleep and that affectedmy memory.
So a lot of the stuff thathappened to me maybe it was like
a blessing, because a lot ofthe terrifying experience I had,
those things was like beingsuppressed suddenly.
I don't really have them.
So they started showing upafter I got out and I was going

(43:46):
through and my therapist askedme.
She asked me a question and Ididn't thought about it until
she asked me.
Like it was like one of thoseYodol questions.
She was like I'm sure, are youafraid to go to sleep?
I thought about it.
I was like I'm a grown-up manbut I'm afraid to go to sleep
and I had to sit with that for alittle bit.

(44:07):
Like wait a minute, I am afraidof going to sleep.
Why am I afraid to go to sleep?
Because I used to have thesecrazy nightmares and I used to
have these moments where I feltlike this out-of-body experience
I used to have and it used toterrify me because I used to
wake up.
This thing used to happen to mewhen I used to have these
nightmares.
I used to wake up, and then youwake up but your body is still

(44:27):
paralyzed.
That means you can't animateyour body.
And then I saw, I feel like Ijust came on this terrifying
nightmare.
I am trying to wake up, my bodyis not animated, but I'm
conscious and I used to freak meout.
I'm like man.
So what I used to do is I usedto over hydrate before I go to
bed at night, so then my bladderonly lasts for three hours and

(44:49):
I'm awake.
And I did it for so long.
My body got used to it.
So now I was always up like 2am, 3am and o'clock in the morning
.
I was up every day.
And then what I started doing Istarted that's when I started
reading a lot of books andlistening to a lot of books.
I used to use those time forreading and listening to books.
Then I got this kind of habitfor ten years.
But then I realized that now,for that long not being on that

(45:10):
much sleep, then my memory, likestuff I don't have, I don't
remember.
I don't remember stuff so muchI'm like, oh man, I got other
stuff in the past, I can'tremember it.
My friend is like you don'tremember it, what was doing this
?
I'm like, ah, so that thinghappened for me.
So now I am working on gettingmy sleep back, working on very
hard, trying to figure out howdo I go to at least get my six
hours sleep.
I need to talk, moving tofurther on that, because I

(45:31):
realized that my brain worksreally like.
I'm like my main functionallife is using my brain and I
need to have my memory intact soI can remember the things that
I used to have that happened inthe past, the history, so forth
and so on.
So that being my self care forme right now is getting sleep in
order.
I mean working on stuff.
I'm pretty fit, but sleepinghas been my challenge, makita.
So thank you for that question.

Mikita (45:53):
You're welcome.
I think sleep has been achallenge for a lot of people.
I think it's something that wedon't talk about.
A lot.
People ask you how you do it,but no one says how are you
sleeping?
You know, no one asks you howare you sleeping because it
controls so much your sleep,contributes so much to your
everyday function into life andno one asks that question.

(46:16):
So I think working on thatsleep and giving yourself
permission to say this issomething out I'm going to also
include into my focus for myself.
Yeah, you deserve it.

Asher (46:29):
I'm going to change your question Like, not how you're
doing, but how are you sleeping.
That is such a you know that'sgoing to start a lot of
different kind of conversationwith people.
I'm used to that.
I'm going to make an experimenton that one.
Thank you for that question.
So how are you sleeping?
Oh my God, yes.

Mikita (46:45):
You got some of the results you get.
Keep me posted on that.
Yeah, how are you sleeping?
Oh my goodness, tell people howthey can connect with you, how
they can find your podcast andknow more about what you're
doing and how they can learnmore about your coaching.

Asher (47:05):
So wwwlietchanneweismcom is my coaching website.
They can find me on there.
Podcasts Pandora's AwarenessPodcast.
You can find it on all theplatforms except for YouTube.
I haven't worked out my videopieces on YouTube yet, but on
the other platform to get allthe version of it, they can find
me there For my book.
They're hosted onwwwdemodivinecom.
That's the website of my book.

(47:25):
It's hosted on.
But they can find them onAmazon and stuff.
But to go to that website youcan see the books on there too,
but yeah, that's the platform.
You can find me on Instagramasherrasta for Instagram.
Yeah, that's what you can findme Cool.

Mikita (47:40):
Okay, and for those if you were trying to write that
down, do not worry, I will haveall of Asher's information in
the show notes so you canconnect with him.
And I just want to wrap this upwith an affirmation I embrace
the journey of change, trustingin my strength and resilience to
overcome obstacles and growwith every step I take.
Asher, thank you so much forsharing your time with us.

(48:04):
This has been so much fun.

Asher (48:08):
Yes, the tea time.
And attention, I was sipping itall this whole time with you.
It was warm tea, by the way,warm tea it was.

Mikita (48:17):
It was some good tea.
All right, you guys.
That's a wrap.
Thank you so much, and don'tforget you can join me each and
every Tuesday for more delicioushot tea.
Until next time, namaste.
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