November 29, 2022 • 18 mins
This week on the show, we're joined by Leah Forney, CEO of Purposely Faithful and host of Hey Queen Thrive Podcast. Leah is a woman on a mission to use her voice and her story to help anyone needing affirmation that they are purposeful. She opens up about the moment that changed her life – when she realized that she needed to use her voice to speak her truth. Leah shares her story of overcoming abuse and rape and offers advice to others who are struggling with
- Leah's story of self-discovery
- The moment that changed her life
- Overcoming abuse and rape
- Offering advice to others
- The power of writing to heal
- Creating new rules for herself
- Breaking the generational cycle of abuse
[0:0:32] What led Leah to her "Aha!" moment was her understanding that she could use her voice to empower others who have been through similar experiences. By sharing her story, she provides strength and hopes to those who need it.
[0:3:33] Writing provided Leah with a way to process her emotions and trauma in a healthy way. It also allowed her to connect with others who had similar experiences. Writing served as a form of therapy that helped her heal and grow.
[0:5:28] 3. Be open to how God wants to heal you and trust that the process is worth it.
[0:9:2] 2. Be intentional about making changes in your life and seeking out help when needed.
#selfdevelopment #Wellness
#thym4teawithmikita #manifest #purposefulliving #liveunapplogectically #freedom #podcast #womeninpodcast #podcastlife #empoweringwomen
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Mikita (00:07):
Time for Tea with Mikita is a podcast about redefining
self care.
It's about looking at everyaspect of our life from music,
career, family, relationships,and everything in between.
It's about spilling tea on thoseconversations that are sometime
hard to have.
Well, we're not afraid to havethose conversations, right.
(00:30):
Join me as we spill tea on everyconversation you ever thought
about, dreamed about, orwhispered about.
Hey y'all, it's definitely timefor some tea.
This episode of Time for Teawith Mikita is brought to you by
l and s Music Group professionalrecording, personalized to fit
your unique sound.
(00:52):
Welcome back.
Thank you so much for sharingyour time and space and your
energy with me.
Today I am super excited to bejoined by the one and only Leah
Forney.
Leah is the friend that you wantat your book club meetings
because she's always gonna bringthat meaningful conversation,
that realness, that rawness, theconversations that keep you
(01:16):
thinking.
But as Leah says, she's morethan just the ceo, purposely
faithful, and the host of HateQueen Through Thrive Podcast,
she is a woman on a mission touse her voice and her story to
anyone needing affirmation thatyou are purpose.
This is time for I'm Mikita, andthis is Leah's.
(01:44):
So many accolades I have to askyou in all the accomplishments,
can you tell us my five words,Leah is
Leah M Forney (01:52):
without the titles.
Ooh, that's so good.
So without the titles, the thingthat I could say is that I'm a
woman of God and I put God firstin everything I do.
And outside of that, I'm an auntof 12.
Nieces and nephews, but I'mjust, I'm your everyday friend
that will cheerlead you on, thatwill root for you that wants to
(02:15):
see you win.
And I try to, you know, bringthat in.
Everything I do and the peoplethat I connect with.
When I
Mikita (02:24):
asked Leah to share her backstory, I never could have
guessed the emotions that wouldplay through me.
I felt like I had experiencedeverything that she had at one
point in my.
The anger, the hurt, theresentment.
We've all felt it before.
It's just amazing how ourchildhood experiences can shape
(02:45):
us.
It led you to the journey thatgave you that aha moment that
like it was time to take thepain, take the hurt, and it
turned that, you know, thatmessage into something that
Leah M Forney (02:58):
offers.
So I always tell people mybackstory is I'm a daughter of
two addicts.
My mom has been a drug addictsince she gave, had me in her
room.
My dad was an alcoholic and thenoutta prison.
So I grew up being raised by mymaternal grandparents and my
aunt.
You know, as a young kid growingup in Queens, New York, mostly
(03:21):
your friends had mom and dad,and I had grandpa, grandma, and
auntie, right?
So immediately I felt like a, asore thumb.
I kind of stuck out.
It was kinda like, why am I sodifferent than everybody else?
Um, and I struggled with that.
Like I struggled with it for avery long time.
I felt abandoned, I feltrejected.
(03:42):
And so I took it out on otherpeople, so I was either
fighting.
You know, or lashing out onpeople.
And my grandmother's biggest,biggest fear at the time was
that I was gonna either end updead really early or in prison
like my father.
Uh, so I had to find a differentoutlet.
(04:03):
And that outlet for me at ayoung age was writing.
So I just started walking aroundwith a paper, with a notebook
and pen.
Just writing.
Mikita (04:12):
Writing would create a domino effect for.
Used us one way to escape fromthe life she wished she had to
creating the life that was meantfor her
Leah M Forney (04:24):
to.
And so I would craft stories,fictional stories about who my
parents were in my mind, so thatway when people would ask me
about my parents, I, uh, hadsome elaborate story, like my
dad was a CIA agent on some topsecret mission.
You know, it was easier tocreate the fantasy world than it
(04:45):
was to step into the realitiesof both my parents' battle and
addiction, and my daddy's lockedup.
We all
Mikita (04:52):
have that moment.
We have to be heard.
We have to use our voice tospeak for something, to give
meaning to something.
And that's what Leah learned.
This was her moment to use hervoice.
What got you to the point whereyou were like, I'm okay with
(05:14):
sharing that story cuz so manypeople, like you said, there's
so much guilt why people don'twanna say, you know, In a
relationship that I was abusedor I was raped because of the
stigma, because of what they'reafraid, what people would say.
So what do you say to thosepeople and, and
Leah M Forney (05:32):
through your own journey, what have you learned?
So I think the, the freedom toopen up my mouth came probably
starting around 2016 when Iwrote the very first book that I
have unapologetically me, and Iwrote that book really to talk
about the tumultuousrelationship with my mom and how
(05:53):
I have this love haterelationship.
Like I love her for giving melife, but I struggled to like,
And in most days I hated herbecause of her addiction.
Right.
Um, so it started there and it,I think at that time, God was
really trying to groom me towhere I am today, where I, I
helped other women to step intothat truth for themselves.
(06:16):
But I would say the catalystthat really was like, okay,
moved up to where I am now inMaryland.
and I almost died.
I had literally had a near deathexperience where I blacked out
behind the wheel of my car.
And what brought me back wasliterally hearing the, the horn,
(06:36):
the, the slamming of the brakesand the horn from the other car.
Like I was inches away from ahead on collision.
And it was in that moment thatGod said to me, are you gonna
deal with it?
Cause it's dealing with you.
Listening
Mikita (06:50):
to this reminds me so much of myself.
And I'm sure you can relate to,to a point in your life where
you had to say, okay, I can't dothis anymore.
I have to deal with this.
Leah M Forney (07:06):
We've all been there.
And that was the moment that Iwas like, God, I don't even know
how to deal with it.
I think for me, the first stepin anything is just
acknowledging the fact that youmay not even have the tools.
Mikita (07:19):
In most of our communities, we are taught to be
tough.
To be strong.
Never let'em see you cry.
Show no weakness.
But what happens when all youcan do is cry?
Like you said, bring it back.
You said something aboutearlier, about when God said
like You are the purpose.
(07:43):
People forget, you know, we getwrapped up in trying to find our
purpose.
So they keep saying, well, youknow, I'm looking for my
purpose.
I wanna know what my purpose isin life.
You know, you are the purpose.
It's not about that.
It's about, to me, I always say,it's all about
Leah M Forney (07:55):
using your voice.
You know, in the blackcommunity, it's okay.
Get over it.
You know, that's not our mantraand I've had to unlearn that.
Even now, you know, I, I'm, I amdaily practicing unlearning
behaviors because there's somuch that we're taught.
That we don't even realize is sodetrimental to our growth.
(08:18):
And because grandma taught us,or Big Mama taught us, or auntie
and them taught us, you knowwhat I'm saying?
Like, then we, then we take thatas Bible, like that's gold,
right?
And then it isn't until you arein your healing journey and God
begins to help you peel back thelayers and you're.
Yeah, no, that's not, that's nothelpful.
(08:38):
You know, like, and having toimplement new rules, you know,
me getting over it.
For me, I have replaced thatwith no, I allow myself 24 to 48
hours to feel like.
Sit in it, let's do what it,cause I understand that
emotions, energy, all of thatis, is cohesive.
(08:59):
Right?
And so even as a entrepreneurand a business owner, that's
like, if I'm not feeling it, I'mnot touching my business that
day.
Because you can transfer thatenergy into what it is that
you're doing.
So I have gone from the get overit to, okay, sit.
Here's 24, 48 hours.
Feel it, cry, kid, scream, yell,whatever you gotta do.
(09:22):
And then when that 48 hours isup, now let's come approach this
logically and, and, and come upwith a solution.
Surprisingly,
Mikita (09:30):
it's not hard for me to imagine young Leah taking out
her magic pin, rewriting herdestiny.
And even to this day, thatwriting helped transcend her
life.
It changed her life.
It gave her an outlet ofhealing.
and it also gave others aninsight to let them know that
you're not alone.
(09:52):
You're not alone in yourchildhood trauma, you're not
alone in your relationshiptrauma.
You're not alone.
So my question to Leah was howdid writing provide you therapy
for the journey of.
Leah M Forney (10:12):
My writing is definitely have been therapeutic
journey for me.
Um, but when I started mywriting journey, I believed that
I was at a time where God wantedme to show other women like me
that there is life after pain.
There is life after loss.
Um, and so each one of my bookshas kind of been like a building
block of what it has been liketo go through the pain.
(10:35):
And so with my most recent book,I call it the Eighth and Final,
people don't think I'm gonnastop writing, but I I'm like,
I'm taking a break for a minute.
Um, but it's not, the eighth andfinal book has been called Born
to Be Unbound, and that bookreally gives a clear.
Um, insight of what it has beenlike for me to heal.
(10:56):
And so it has those practicalsteps, but the way I ha, the way
God allowed me to close it outwas so beautifully because it.
Way different than any otherbook I've written.
You know, majority of my bookshave shown the pain shown, the
scars shown.
You know what?
I was going through one of mybooks, defining Moments I wrote
(11:18):
right in the middle of grievingfive people.
Like God was clear like.
You gotta write this book.
And I'm sitting here like, dude,I just wanna grieve like, what
do you mean you want me on thisbook?
You know?
And it, and it was really one ofthe rawest books I've ever
wrote.
And so to come full circle tothis moment, I feel like God
used me in my writing to showother women that yes, there will
(11:41):
be pain.
Yes, there will be trials.
Yes, you are going to haveseasons where you're going to
feel like God, where are you?
Do you not hear me?
Do.
See me.
But if you continue to trusthim, continue to trust the
process, continue to be open tohow he wants to heal you in your
life, that you two will get tothis place where you discover
(12:02):
that God has granted you thisfreedom and that you don't have
to live bound anymore.
And that you don't have to livein guilt and shame.
And that once you get a taste ofthat freedom, I promise you,
mck, you don't wanna go back.
you like, mm-hmm.
I'm cool on this side.
And so.
It was therapy for me, but Ifeel like it was, it was the
(12:22):
catalyst that a lot of womenthat read my books needed to
start their own healing journey.
As
Mikita (12:28):
women, we can break generational curses.
We can start the healing processfrom one conversation at a time.
Building families, buildingcommunities, building women that
are not afraid to be vulnerableand say, I need help.
It's.
Leah M Forney (12:48):
Yeah.
And I don't think that werealize that, that especially as
women, because we are the giversof life, that everything starts
with us.
That we truly can not only shiftthe, the atmosphere in our
homes, but we can change a wholenation because it starts with us
like, and I feel like that hasbeen the reason why God has
(13:10):
allowed me.
So vocal and transparent aboutmy journey, because I want other
women to see that it does startwith you.
That you literally can breakevery generational curse when
you make a decision that itstops here, that it's not gonna
plague, not one more generationor one more bloodline like that.
It stops there.
(13:30):
And then the challenge is to dosomething different.
You know, like, and that's hardbecause when you don't know d.
You know, even just trying tohave healthy relationships,
right?
Cause most of us don't havehealthy relationship pools.
Right.
But having to be intentional,you know, I tell people all the
time, my relationship I'm havenow is different because I'm
(13:53):
different and I'm beingintentional about.
Okay.
I can't shut this person out.
I gotta be vulnerable.
I gotta communicate things thatwe weren't really taught to do.
And so healing really requiresyou to do something different.
Cause when you do different,you'll start to see different
and you'll start to heardifferent.
And that's what I really havelearned as I've been on my
(14:15):
journey to heal.
Mikita (14:17):
Um, if you had to tell people like three things that
they can do to, to, to startbeing intentional, to start
leaning into that vulnerability.
What would you say would be, youknow, just a great
Leah M Forney (14:29):
starting point for.
So I would say the first thing Iwould say is practice
forgiveness, um, andself-forgiveness, because I
think a lot of our guilt andshame and pain really stays
stuck in because we haven'tforgiven ourselves, we haven't
taken the moment to letourselves off the hook.
(14:50):
It's easy to be like, oh, Iforgave so and so, but the
hardest person to forgive a lotof times is, And so I would say
start practicing someself-forgiveness and, and be
just be honest with yourself.
Like, girl, you know, I didn'tknow what I was doing child, I
thought I was doing the rightthing.
I didn't know.
Right.
And really just have that honestconversation with yourself.
(15:12):
Um, the other thing I would sayis definitely positive
affirmations.
Like I am huge on affirming.
Self, because you're not gonnaalways have someone in your
corner to say, girl, great job.
You know what I mean?
Like, you did that.
Yes.
Like, you're not gonna alwayshave that.
So get in the habit of dailyaffirming yourself.
(15:33):
You know, I, I have, if you're aperson like me who's ever had
body image issues, like I'vegrown to the place.
Literally, my daily routinestarts with prayer, and then
when I'm getting ready for theday, I play Mary j Blige.
Good morning, gorgeous.
And I stand in the mirror in allmy glory.
And I affirm me and I just lookat me.
(15:55):
Cuz we haven't been taught to dothat.
We've been, especially as womenof color, we've been taught to
like, hell girl, you got someroles, you shouldn't be doing
this.
Like, you know what I mean?
And so getting a habit ofbuilding you up, affirming you,
reminding you of how justamazing and dope and creative
and innovative that you are, youknow?
And then the last thing I wouldprobably say is be okay with
(16:18):
having courageous convers.
Like change your wording aroundhow you have conversa.
Cause I used to be like, ah, Ihate having difficult
conversations.
And then when my own coach saidto me, why do they have to be
difficult?
Why can't they just becourageous?
And so now I call'em courageousconversations, and that is just
being honest about what it isthat you feel.
I think when you start thosethree things, it will help you
(16:41):
to build the confidence you needto continue on in your.
Mikita (16:46):
Leah is a true testament that your voice is your most
powerful weapon, and sometimesit requires you to sit in
silence.
Now, if you wanna connect withLeah, then hit her up on
Facebook and Instagram at Leah mForney.
All right, you guys.
You know what time it is.
It is time for those keytakeaways, and that was a lot to
(17:08):
unpack.
So many gyms were being dropped.
Oh my goodness.
But the most important one, Wasremembering that it's okay to be
vulnerable and say, I need help.
I need help to heal.
Remember, you are never aloneeven in silence.
(17:31):
All right.
If you love this conversation,please share.
Go over to my Instagram, let meknow what you think.
You can also send me an email atthyme4teamikita@gmail.com.
All right you guys, that is allthe tea that I have to spill
today.
But don't forget to join me nextTuesday for more delicious hot
tea.
Until next time, namaste.
Time for Tea with Mikita is a podcast about redefining
self care.
It's about looking at everyaspect of our life from music,
career, family, relationships,and everything in between.
It's about spilling tea on thoseconversations that are sometime
hard to have.
Well, we're not afraid to havethose conversations, right.
(00:30):
Join me as we spill tea on everyconversation you ever thought
about, dreamed about, orwhispered about.
Hey y'all, it's definitely timefor some tea.
This episode of Time for Teawith Mikita is brought to you by
l and s Music Group professionalrecording, personalized to fit
your unique sound.
(00:52):
Welcome back.
Thank you so much for sharingyour time and space and your
energy with me.
Today I am super excited to bejoined by the one and only Leah
Forney.
Leah is the friend that you wantat your book club meetings
because she's always gonna bringthat meaningful conversation,
that realness, that rawness, theconversations that keep you
(01:16):
thinking.
But as Leah says, she's morethan just the ceo, purposely
faithful, and the host of HateQueen Through Thrive Podcast,
she is a woman on a mission touse her voice and her story to
anyone needing affirmation thatyou are purpose.
This is time for I'm Mikita, andthis is Leah's.
(01:44):
So many accolades I have to askyou in all the accomplishments,
can you tell us my five words,Leah is
Leah M Forney (01:52):
without the titles.
Ooh, that's so good.
So without the titles, the thingthat I could say is that I'm a
woman of God and I put God firstin everything I do.
And outside of that, I'm an auntof 12.
Nieces and nephews, but I'mjust, I'm your everyday friend
that will cheerlead you on, thatwill root for you that wants to
(02:15):
see you win.
And I try to, you know, bringthat in.
Everything I do and the peoplethat I connect with.
When I
Mikita (02:24):
asked Leah to share her backstory, I never could have
guessed the emotions that wouldplay through me.
I felt like I had experiencedeverything that she had at one
point in my.
The anger, the hurt, theresentment.
We've all felt it before.
It's just amazing how ourchildhood experiences can shape
(02:45):
us.
It led you to the journey thatgave you that aha moment that
like it was time to take thepain, take the hurt, and it
turned that, you know, thatmessage into something that
Leah M Forney (02:58):
offers.
So I always tell people mybackstory is I'm a daughter of
two addicts.
My mom has been a drug addictsince she gave, had me in her
room.
My dad was an alcoholic and thenoutta prison.
So I grew up being raised by mymaternal grandparents and my
aunt.
You know, as a young kid growingup in Queens, New York, mostly
(03:21):
your friends had mom and dad,and I had grandpa, grandma, and
auntie, right?
So immediately I felt like a, asore thumb.
I kind of stuck out.
It was kinda like, why am I sodifferent than everybody else?
Um, and I struggled with that.
Like I struggled with it for avery long time.
I felt abandoned, I feltrejected.
(03:42):
And so I took it out on otherpeople, so I was either
fighting.
You know, or lashing out onpeople.
And my grandmother's biggest,biggest fear at the time was
that I was gonna either end updead really early or in prison
like my father.
Uh, so I had to find a differentoutlet.
(04:03):
And that outlet for me at ayoung age was writing.
So I just started walking aroundwith a paper, with a notebook
and pen.
Just writing.
Mikita (04:12):
Writing would create a domino effect for.
Used us one way to escape fromthe life she wished she had to
creating the life that was meantfor her
Leah M Forney (04:24):
to.
And so I would craft stories,fictional stories about who my
parents were in my mind, so thatway when people would ask me
about my parents, I, uh, hadsome elaborate story, like my
dad was a CIA agent on some topsecret mission.
You know, it was easier tocreate the fantasy world than it
(04:45):
was to step into the realitiesof both my parents' battle and
addiction, and my daddy's lockedup.
We all
Mikita (04:52):
have that moment.
We have to be heard.
We have to use our voice tospeak for something, to give
meaning to something.
And that's what Leah learned.
This was her moment to use hervoice.
What got you to the point whereyou were like, I'm okay with
(05:14):
sharing that story cuz so manypeople, like you said, there's
so much guilt why people don'twanna say, you know, In a
relationship that I was abusedor I was raped because of the
stigma, because of what they'reafraid, what people would say.
So what do you say to thosepeople and, and
Leah M Forney (05:32):
through your own journey, what have you learned?
So I think the, the freedom toopen up my mouth came probably
starting around 2016 when Iwrote the very first book that I
have unapologetically me, and Iwrote that book really to talk
about the tumultuousrelationship with my mom and how
(05:53):
I have this love haterelationship.
Like I love her for giving melife, but I struggled to like,
And in most days I hated herbecause of her addiction.
Right.
Um, so it started there and it,I think at that time, God was
really trying to groom me towhere I am today, where I, I
helped other women to step intothat truth for themselves.
(06:16):
But I would say the catalystthat really was like, okay,
moved up to where I am now inMaryland.
and I almost died.
I had literally had a near deathexperience where I blacked out
behind the wheel of my car.
And what brought me back wasliterally hearing the, the horn,
(06:36):
the, the slamming of the brakesand the horn from the other car.
Like I was inches away from ahead on collision.
And it was in that moment thatGod said to me, are you gonna
deal with it?
Cause it's dealing with you.
Listening
Mikita (06:50):
to this reminds me so much of myself.
And I'm sure you can relate to,to a point in your life where
you had to say, okay, I can't dothis anymore.
I have to deal with this.
Leah M Forney (07:06):
We've all been there.
And that was the moment that Iwas like, God, I don't even know
how to deal with it.
I think for me, the first stepin anything is just
acknowledging the fact that youmay not even have the tools.
Mikita (07:19):
In most of our communities, we are taught to be
tough.
To be strong.
Never let'em see you cry.
Show no weakness.
But what happens when all youcan do is cry?
Like you said, bring it back.
You said something aboutearlier, about when God said
like You are the purpose.
(07:43):
People forget, you know, we getwrapped up in trying to find our
purpose.
So they keep saying, well, youknow, I'm looking for my
purpose.
I wanna know what my purpose isin life.
You know, you are the purpose.
It's not about that.
It's about, to me, I always say,it's all about
Leah M Forney (07:55):
using your voice.
You know, in the blackcommunity, it's okay.
Get over it.
You know, that's not our mantraand I've had to unlearn that.
Even now, you know, I, I'm, I amdaily practicing unlearning
behaviors because there's somuch that we're taught.
That we don't even realize is sodetrimental to our growth.
(08:18):
And because grandma taught us,or Big Mama taught us, or auntie
and them taught us, you knowwhat I'm saying?
Like, then we, then we take thatas Bible, like that's gold,
right?
And then it isn't until you arein your healing journey and God
begins to help you peel back thelayers and you're.
Yeah, no, that's not, that's nothelpful.
(08:38):
You know, like, and having toimplement new rules, you know,
me getting over it.
For me, I have replaced thatwith no, I allow myself 24 to 48
hours to feel like.
Sit in it, let's do what it,cause I understand that
emotions, energy, all of thatis, is cohesive.
(08:59):
Right?
And so even as a entrepreneurand a business owner, that's
like, if I'm not feeling it, I'mnot touching my business that
day.
Because you can transfer thatenergy into what it is that
you're doing.
So I have gone from the get overit to, okay, sit.
Here's 24, 48 hours.
Feel it, cry, kid, scream, yell,whatever you gotta do.
(09:22):
And then when that 48 hours isup, now let's come approach this
logically and, and, and come upwith a solution.
Surprisingly,
Mikita (09:30):
it's not hard for me to imagine young Leah taking out
her magic pin, rewriting herdestiny.
And even to this day, thatwriting helped transcend her
life.
It changed her life.
It gave her an outlet ofhealing.
and it also gave others aninsight to let them know that
you're not alone.
(09:52):
You're not alone in yourchildhood trauma, you're not
alone in your relationshiptrauma.
You're not alone.
So my question to Leah was howdid writing provide you therapy
for the journey of.
Leah M Forney (10:12):
My writing is definitely have been therapeutic
journey for me.
Um, but when I started mywriting journey, I believed that
I was at a time where God wantedme to show other women like me
that there is life after pain.
There is life after loss.
Um, and so each one of my bookshas kind of been like a building
block of what it has been liketo go through the pain.
(10:35):
And so with my most recent book,I call it the Eighth and Final,
people don't think I'm gonnastop writing, but I I'm like,
I'm taking a break for a minute.
Um, but it's not, the eighth andfinal book has been called Born
to Be Unbound, and that bookreally gives a clear.
Um, insight of what it has beenlike for me to heal.
(10:56):
And so it has those practicalsteps, but the way I ha, the way
God allowed me to close it outwas so beautifully because it.
Way different than any otherbook I've written.
You know, majority of my bookshave shown the pain shown, the
scars shown.
You know what?
I was going through one of mybooks, defining Moments I wrote
(11:18):
right in the middle of grievingfive people.
Like God was clear like.
You gotta write this book.
And I'm sitting here like, dude,I just wanna grieve like, what
do you mean you want me on thisbook?
You know?
And it, and it was really one ofthe rawest books I've ever
wrote.
And so to come full circle tothis moment, I feel like God
used me in my writing to showother women that yes, there will
(11:41):
be pain.
Yes, there will be trials.
Yes, you are going to haveseasons where you're going to
feel like God, where are you?
Do you not hear me?
Do.
See me.
But if you continue to trusthim, continue to trust the
process, continue to be open tohow he wants to heal you in your
life, that you two will get tothis place where you discover
(12:02):
that God has granted you thisfreedom and that you don't have
to live bound anymore.
And that you don't have to livein guilt and shame.
And that once you get a taste ofthat freedom, I promise you,
mck, you don't wanna go back.
you like, mm-hmm.
I'm cool on this side.
And so.
It was therapy for me, but Ifeel like it was, it was the
(12:22):
catalyst that a lot of womenthat read my books needed to
start their own healing journey.
As
Mikita (12:28):
women, we can break generational curses.
We can start the healing processfrom one conversation at a time.
Building families, buildingcommunities, building women that
are not afraid to be vulnerableand say, I need help.
It's.
Leah M Forney (12:48):
Yeah.
And I don't think that werealize that, that especially as
women, because we are the giversof life, that everything starts
with us.
That we truly can not only shiftthe, the atmosphere in our
homes, but we can change a wholenation because it starts with us
like, and I feel like that hasbeen the reason why God has
(13:10):
allowed me.
So vocal and transparent aboutmy journey, because I want other
women to see that it does startwith you.
That you literally can breakevery generational curse when
you make a decision that itstops here, that it's not gonna
plague, not one more generationor one more bloodline like that.
It stops there.
(13:30):
And then the challenge is to dosomething different.
You know, like, and that's hardbecause when you don't know d.
You know, even just trying tohave healthy relationships,
right?
Cause most of us don't havehealthy relationship pools.
Right.
But having to be intentional,you know, I tell people all the
time, my relationship I'm havenow is different because I'm
(13:53):
different and I'm beingintentional about.
Okay.
I can't shut this person out.
I gotta be vulnerable.
I gotta communicate things thatwe weren't really taught to do.
And so healing really requiresyou to do something different.
Cause when you do different,you'll start to see different
and you'll start to heardifferent.
And that's what I really havelearned as I've been on my
(14:15):
journey to heal.
Mikita (14:17):
Um, if you had to tell people like three things that
they can do to, to, to startbeing intentional, to start
leaning into that vulnerability.
What would you say would be, youknow, just a great
Leah M Forney (14:29):
starting point for.
So I would say the first thing Iwould say is practice
forgiveness, um, andself-forgiveness, because I
think a lot of our guilt andshame and pain really stays
stuck in because we haven'tforgiven ourselves, we haven't
taken the moment to letourselves off the hook.
(14:50):
It's easy to be like, oh, Iforgave so and so, but the
hardest person to forgive a lotof times is, And so I would say
start practicing someself-forgiveness and, and be
just be honest with yourself.
Like, girl, you know, I didn'tknow what I was doing child, I
thought I was doing the rightthing.
I didn't know.
Right.
And really just have that honestconversation with yourself.
(15:12):
Um, the other thing I would sayis definitely positive
affirmations.
Like I am huge on affirming.
Self, because you're not gonnaalways have someone in your
corner to say, girl, great job.
You know what I mean?
Like, you did that.
Yes.
Like, you're not gonna alwayshave that.
So get in the habit of dailyaffirming yourself.
(15:33):
You know, I, I have, if you're aperson like me who's ever had
body image issues, like I'vegrown to the place.
Literally, my daily routinestarts with prayer, and then
when I'm getting ready for theday, I play Mary j Blige.
Good morning, gorgeous.
And I stand in the mirror in allmy glory.
And I affirm me and I just lookat me.
(15:55):
Cuz we haven't been taught to dothat.
We've been, especially as womenof color, we've been taught to
like, hell girl, you got someroles, you shouldn't be doing
this.
Like, you know what I mean?
And so getting a habit ofbuilding you up, affirming you,
reminding you of how justamazing and dope and creative
and innovative that you are, youknow?
And then the last thing I wouldprobably say is be okay with
(16:18):
having courageous convers.
Like change your wording aroundhow you have conversa.
Cause I used to be like, ah, Ihate having difficult
conversations.
And then when my own coach saidto me, why do they have to be
difficult?
Why can't they just becourageous?
And so now I call'em courageousconversations, and that is just
being honest about what it isthat you feel.
I think when you start thosethree things, it will help you
(16:41):
to build the confidence you needto continue on in your.
Mikita (16:46):
Leah is a true testament that your voice is your most
powerful weapon, and sometimesit requires you to sit in
silence.
Now, if you wanna connect withLeah, then hit her up on
Facebook and Instagram at Leah mForney.
All right, you guys.
You know what time it is.
It is time for those keytakeaways, and that was a lot to
(17:08):
unpack.
So many gyms were being dropped.
Oh my goodness.
But the most important one, Wasremembering that it's okay to be
vulnerable and say, I need help.
I need help to heal.
Remember, you are never aloneeven in silence.
(17:31):
All right.
If you love this conversation,please share.
Go over to my Instagram, let meknow what you think.
You can also send me an email atthyme4teamikita@gmail.com.
All right you guys, that is allthe tea that I have to spill
today.
But don't forget to join me nextTuesday for more delicious hot
tea.
Until next time, namaste.
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