Time to Lean

A listener sent us a video that hit a nerve: a husband asks his overwhelmed wife how he can help, then resists the very thing she asks for. In this episode, we unpack what’s really going on in moments like these. We talk about the emotional weight of asking for help, the nuances of saying no, and what it costs when a partner responds with resistance(even subtly). Emotional labor, the mental load, relationship dynamics, viral couple...

This week, we look at a viral influencer’s take on why men don’t step up at home. He's just one of many creators who exist in the genre of “relationship advice” whose content insidiously blames women for their partner’s lack of initiative. Apparently, the problem with a lack of effort isn't... the lack of effort... It's that you must be smothering his divine masculine spark.

Mentioned in this episode:

Rage Becomes Her by Soraya C...

This week Crystal and Laura discuss the challenges of care work, societal expectations of default partners, and the internet's attempts at poking fun at these dynamics. Spoiler alert: we don't think it's funny. We analyze a viral video that pokes fun at a woman managing her family's needs while being late, highlighting the unfairness of couples comedy posts. Instead of trying to punch down, shouldn't we be trying to emphasize the i...

In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss a clip from the popular Showtime show, “Couples Therapy,” where a pair of clients discuss incompetence, ability, and blame.

Disclaimer:

Time to Lean is an educational and conversational podcast intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views expressed by the hosts and guests are their own and do not constitute therapeutic advice, clinical guidance, or a substitute f...

In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss the importance of positive language in gardening, the joy of birding through apps, and the impact of social media on relationship dynamics. The conversation delves into parenting roles, cultural narratives, and the normalization of toxic behaviors in relationships, ultimately calling for a rethinking of feminist perspectives and deeper discussions about relationship expectations.

Mentio...

This week, Crystal presents a new study that claims handling home life well can boost your work performance. We dig into what’s really being said(and what’s not), why the framing matters, and how corporate culture keeps co-opting care.

In this episode:

How you handle your home life can boost work performance, shows new study: https://www.bath.ac.uk/announcements/how-you-handle-your-home-life-can-boost-work-performance-shows-n...

Why is it that we blame the mom when something kid-related falls through the cracks? In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss double standards in gendered expectations, the way that clear communication can prevent resentment, and how emotional safety can impact domestic problem-solving.

Mentioned in this episode: https://www.today.com/parents/toddlers/mom-forgets-diapers-flight-toddler-rcna203556

National Domestic Violence ...

This week, Laura and Crystal unravel the messy, misunderstood concept of nagging—and spoiler alert, it’s not just a "you problem." We’re diving headfirst into the nag paradox, that familiar dynamic where one partner becomes the designated project manager of the household… and the other somehow forgets how time works.

From cringey comic strip tropes (hello, bathrobe lady with the slipper) to the emotional weight of carrying the menta...

This week on Time to Lean, Crystal and Laura sit down with author, essayist, and unapologetic truth-teller Jessica Slice to discuss her powerful new book Unfit Parent. Jessica shares the backstory behind her debut, how she went from social work student to published author, and what it means to parent while disabled in a world that barely recognizes disabled parents exist—let alone values them.

We talk about the nuance of documen...

In this conversation, Laura and Crystal explore the complexities of relationships, particularly focusing on the emotional labor and expectations that arise when one partner makes significant decisions, such as donating a kidney. They discuss the importance of communication, the impact of caregiving, and the need for self-awareness in navigating these dynamics. The conversation emphasizes the necessity of considering each other's ne...

 In this unfiltered and deeply relatable episode, Crystal and Laura dive headfirst into a viral Am I the Asshole Reddit post that brings up a lot of familiar feelings for millennial moms, especially those in cishet partnerships.

Research & References:

• Rose Hackman, Emotional Labor
• Darby Saxbe, USC: Study on cognitive labor and maternal burnout
• Study on marital burnout in women post-lockdown (2021)
• Data on marr...

They do. They work 7% more than single men, but how does that impact their marriages? In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss how capitalism screws, well, all of us. All genders, in every sphere.

Topics We Cover:

• Married men working more, and why the answer is almost always their wives
• Overwork as a tool of oppression—not ambition
• The second shift, the leisure entitlement gap, and who really gets to rest
• What Denmark is doin...

Ever wonder what happens when the person keeping everything together… falls apart? Spoiler: it’s not good. This week, we’re diving into the unpaid, undervalued, and often invisible labor of caregiving—who does it, who’s burning out, and why society pretends it's not happening until it’s too late. From Gene Hackman & Betsy Arakawa’s story to Bruce Willis’s wife Emma Hemming Willis calling out caregiving burnout, we break down th...

What factors help you to decide how hard or simple a household task is? Ellie Windle, CEO and founder of Persist, set out to answer that very question. In this episode, Laura and Crystal interview Ellie about the factors that led to Persist's creation, and reflect on the myriad of ways it has helped to make the invisible labor of the household, visible and valuable.

Persist's Website Take the FREE CareLoad assessment and/or use ...

We know this probably isn't your most burning question, but did you see this video of him last week? Laura and Crystal discuss the double standard of Elon's public displays of fatherhood, and the tokenism of his pro-natal movement. Y'all, we're tired.

Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR DM us on IG ...

Laura and Crystal discuss an NPR article that caused quite a stir this week by focusing on men's health while women's rights and freedoms continue to be a target of the current presidential administration. Is it fair? Let's get into it!

Mentioned in this Episode:

New Economy Coalition

Man Box Study

NPR: Men Die Younger Than Women

Miss Diagnosis: A Systemic Review of ADHD in Women

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