🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♀️⚡️Beyond Trauma: A Raw Conversation about Love & Baggage

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 2 (00:20):
Welcome back to the conversation that never ends
this.
This is Timeless Talk.
I am your show.
I am your show host.
He's fucked up.
Now I'm going to leave thisshit in, bro.
Now you're fucked up.
I am your.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
I am the show.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
Congratulations.
You played yourself.
I definitely did Get the fuckoff the table Ever.
Get off what is going on.
I'm going to leave all this in,bro Get down, damn it.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
Hey, get out of here.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
Oh shit bro.
Hey, man, you can't write thisshit bro.
Oh shit, all right guys.
Welcome back to theconversation that never ends.
This is Timeless Talk.
I am your host, aj.
To my far left we have Furious.
Of course, he's going to bringout the guns and our guest here
is going to join him.
Yeah, load them and put themaway.

(01:11):
You know what I'm saying?
Dropping shells on them.
Dropping shells, all right guys.
Well, over here, directly to myleft in the middle, we have
Julia.
We have our guest of the showtoday.

Speaker 3 (01:27):
Thank you for being here with us today.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
Juliaia, it takes a lot to come on camera,
especially for having me no forsure and give me your flowers.
No re-dos here.
All right, guys, so it's acharm.
Yes, we're back on timelesstalk, guys.
Um, today is going to beinteresting episode.
It's going to be about a topicthat we've talked about in the
past.
Obviously, the seatingarrangement is a little

(01:48):
different so that we can haveour guests in the middle.
Look at both of us a little biteasier.
Today's basically going to beabout relationships.
So, for those of you out therewith toxic relationships, happy
relationships, hardrelationships, relationships,
you shouldn't be inrelationships.
I guess it's a little bit ofsomething for everybody.
I mean, I feel like, you know,everything is relatable to a
degree, right, everybody'sdifferent.
Um, I'm sure we're gonna coverthings here that haven't been

(02:10):
said before, because everybody'srelationship is different, even
though they're the same, ifthat makes sense, I feel like it
does, because every individualis different, right, but we have
similar fucking things thathappen in those relationships
that make it relatable, right?
Would you guys agree?
Yes, all, yes, all right.
So before we get into that, I'mgoing to ask Julia here to say
a little bit about herself.
Just, you know, quick and easy,nothing too crazy Just you know

(02:31):
a little bit about yourself tothe listeners and viewers out
there that you're willing toshare with them.

Speaker 3 (02:35):
Yeah, for sure.
So I'm a slave to the corporateworld.
You know, I'm still figuring itout.
Yeah, and I'm a Libra, bestsign out there.
No, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
And she's single Guys .
Good guys, single woman righthere To my left, yeah, let's not
Advertise that.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
Come on.

Speaker 3 (02:59):
Happily single.
Happily single.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
So she, that means that If she's happily single
guys, that means that she'ssingle and not looking.
Then Exactly.
All right.

Speaker 3 (03:06):
Um, but no, it's, it's cool.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
So, like you're, you're still open, but you're
not looking.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
Uh, he's going to have to be somebody very special
, for sure, and I don't knowwhat that means, still figuring
it out, but anyways, but anyways.
So, yeah, I don't know, I workat a high school with kids that
have you know, they're not allthere Disabled, like disabled,

(03:37):
you know.
Yeah, and it's rewarding,though Of course they have you
know special.
You know a lot of them haveDown syndrome, a lot of them
just had a really roughupbringing and it's a tough job.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
But I do enjoy it and , like I was, you know, telling
you guys before you know, thecamera started rolling.
Yeah.
I have all these scars to showyou know, you know, like, but
they don't know what they'redoing.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
So, yeah, just it's a normal person hey, we applaud
you for that too, because that'snot easy.
That's not an easy thing to uh,you know, to take on.
Like you know, me personally, I, I I deal with disabled
individuals as well, my, my lineof work, and it's not with low
functioning, it's with highfunctioning, so it's very

(04:29):
different.
You know what I mean.
So I applaud you, especiallybecause I know how hard that
could probably be.
So they all wear diapers, likeyou noted before.

Speaker 3 (04:37):
Yeah, they all wear diapers.
Three of them need to be handfed.

Speaker 2 (04:41):
Tedious.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
Yeah, it could get tedious, but it also is.
You know, you see the beauty init too, because they are.
They do know what's goingaround yeah, they do know what's
they are aware of the world.
They're aware of what you sayand your energy and all these
kind of things, because, um, youcan tell when I'm sorry, but

(05:03):
there's people that don't havepatience for these kind of kids,
and that's okay.
That's perfectly fine Because,like I was telling you guys
earlier, you do have to have amaternal instinct and you do
have to have a lot of patiencefor kids like this, because
they're not easy and they are.
It is hard and I can tell whenthe parents sometimes bring them
in that they do need a break.

(05:24):
It is hard and I can tell, whenthe parents sometimes bring
them in, that they do need abreak, so that mother's break or
that father's break is on us,and then we have to care for
their children at that time.
So it's like I do take that as a.
I do feel like that's precious.
Those parents are entrusting usto take care of their very
difficult children for fourhours, five hours, eight hours,

(05:51):
whatever it is that it is.
You know, some of them go homeearly, some of them stay all of
the school time.
So it's just like I do takethat into consideration and I do
.
I said okay, if I was a motheror a father or a parent in
general and I'm dropping off mykid that I know gives me a hard
time at home into strangers,that would take a lot for me.
I would be scared, I would beworried constantly.

(06:13):
I would just be praying, I'djust be like I don't know, are
they going to be okay?
So in a way, when I go home, Ido feel fulfilled because I'm
like okay, I did something thata lot of people can't do out
there.
I have patients that a lot ofpeople don't have patients for.
So it's tough, but it's alsorewarding and it gives you a

(06:39):
sense of purpose.
And I don't know, I can't go onliving in this life if I don't
feel like I have a purpose.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
I really can't.

Speaker 3 (06:46):
This world gets too monotonous sometimes, you know,
or mundane, or melancholy,whatever you want to call it.
So when I do go to work, youdon't know what day you're going
to walk into.
You don't know what these kids'attitudes are going to be.
You don't know if they're goingto be happy, sassy, angry, sad.

(07:07):
So you just got to be very fluidwith your ability to adapt yes
you have to adapt to these kids,because when they have a bad
day, they have a bad day.
It's a bad day for you whenthey have a bad day, but then
when they have a good day, it'sjust like you're smiling and

(07:28):
you're laughing with them andthen you're joking around with
them and it just, it's just.
I, I love my job, but I alsohate it sometimes.
But I, I mean, that's withanything, right yeah, that's any
kind of job, most jobs.
Yeah, it's the nature of thebeast, basically exactly yeah
exactly, and it's just up to youhow you handle it, how you

(07:50):
perceive it and how you go at itof course, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (07:54):
No.
No good, I appreciate that Iforgot we did an intro.
I just started talking no, it'sall good we're here, we're with
you, we're good.
It's all right, we're good,we're here.
That windows yeah, that's astartup sound because we're
starting up.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
If you know that sound, that means that you're
old, basically, yeah in factbaby 94 100, you know, she knew
what it was you were born duringthe during the earthquakes.

Speaker 3 (08:18):
Yes, I was so little they had to wake me up and they
were like oh, there's anearthquake.
I was like, huh, I was such adeep sleeper as a kid, I didn't
even feel it.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
Yeah, I woke up during that.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
Yeah, yeah, he said, I woke up During that one too.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
Wait, how old were you During that earthquake?

Speaker 1 (08:32):
That one I was.
I think I was like Four.

Speaker 3 (08:34):
Oh, okay, okay.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
What year was?

Speaker 3 (08:35):
this Ninety four.
Ninety four, two years old.
Oh no, I'm thinking about theother earthquake there was
another one that was bad.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
I remember that one too.

Speaker 2 (08:49):
That freeway on the 14th broke and they named it
after the cop that drove off ofit.
Oh, I don't know about that one.

Speaker 3 (08:52):
That one I think I was like it must have been like
one, so it wasn't that one itwas another one, so an older one
.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
Then yeah, yeah, yeah , okay, anyway, all right guys.
So we're going to jump rightinto it.
So, relationships Currently,who's in a relationship here at
the table?
Who's single?
I think I'm the only one that'snot single, right?
Is it you two that are singleright now?

Speaker 3 (09:13):
Okay, I guess I don't know.
Now I know, now you know.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
Our guest here didn't know that Furious over there is
also single, you know.

Speaker 3 (09:26):
but anyway, uh, she's loaded no it's cool, it's very
corny?

Speaker 2 (09:29):
no, you're not.
It's awesome, but we need, weneed animation in the show man.
We need, we need animatedpeople.
It's good, um, but yeah, so, assingle people, right, because
obviously we'll get intorelationships in a second.
You were obviously in arelationship at some point,
right, would you recollect, wasone of your best examples of a
relationship that you had thatyou were, you were actually
happy in and didn't endnecessarily bad, or did you not

(09:50):
have that many relationships?
I haven't had one of those whereit was like happy, and then it
ended happily, like we bothmoved on well, I guess what I
meant by ended happily becauseit doesn't end happily that way,
but ended mutually, where youguys were just like you know
what.
We're on the same page, itdidn't, you know.
It was cool, it was fun for awhile, but then we just decided
to go our separate ways no,never, never had one of those.

Speaker 3 (10:10):
They always ended up um well, I've only ever had two
like serious relationships andthey both ended up bad, bad yeah
, like it was like either it wasa ghost or it was.
Um, I have to walk away from myown mental health and because I
know that I'm worth better thanthis, I'm worth more than this

(10:33):
and I deserve better.
So, yeah, uh, unfortunately,yeah it it was.
You know, breakups are tough,regardless of whether they end
good or bad or mutually.
I mean, they always suck, theyalways really always suck Really
.
They always really do suck, butunfortunately mine have been
pretty bad.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
Dang, I'm sorry to hear that.

Speaker 3 (10:52):
No, it's okay, it happens.
It does I mean, you grow fromit.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:56):
You for sure, grow and you learn and you evolve as
a person, and you evolve as aperson.
And then you start realizingthat your baggage, you need to
figure your shit out before youget into a relationship.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
That's big facts right there.
Hell yeah, I can second that.

Speaker 3 (11:15):
Yeah, the baggage that you bring in to that
relationship is just it's, it'sbaggage.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
It's baggage.

Speaker 3 (11:21):
It's baggage.
And if you both have baggage,if you both have emotional
ignorance and you're emotionallike you don't know how to talk,
you don't know how tocommunicate it.
Just it's going to be badregardless.
So I learned a lot from thatand I wouldn't take anything

(11:42):
back.
I wouldn't take anything back,I wouldn't redo anything.
I would.
I would still if I, if somebodywas like, hey, um, would you
redo this?
Would you?
And no, because it's made megrow as a person.

Speaker 2 (11:54):
That's good You're able to take it for what it was
learning lesson yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:56):
I took it for what it was and take.
I've taken those relationshipsfor what they are and it has
made me grown as a person.
Right, um, yeah, so I wouldn'ttake anything back I mean all
right even the heartbreaks andthe love and all of the
in-betweens.
I would redo all of it becauseI wouldn't be here that's fair.

Speaker 2 (12:17):
All right, I appreciate that.
That tidbit that makes a lot ofsense and can I pour?
Myself some more champagne ofcourse you can absolutely.
You gotta ask for that girl.
Here you, here you go.
Thank you, welcome.
You got it, yeah, all right.
What about you, though, furious?
What about you?
Have you ever had?
Can you recollect a time?

Speaker 1 (12:32):
With like a bad breakup.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
No, not a bad one, we'll get to that.

Speaker 1 (12:49):
But I'm saying like, would you at least be talking
cordially.
Six inches, no, I mean no likeno, like we, you know we ended
very uh, you know, amicably.
I've had plenty of those whereit's like we ended on on a good
note, just okay it just wasn'tthe, I guess.
Uh, they might have just eitherthem or me.
You know, we just wanted to moveon you know, maybe it just
wasn't the time for arelationship at that time.

(13:13):
Yeah, I know.
Like when I started like dating, I was dating older women first
.
Yeah, it was a differentdynamic, you know for sure.

Speaker 2 (13:21):
It's a lot different.
It is different, no for sureyeah, dynamic, you know for sure
.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
That's a lot different.
It is different, no, for sure.
Yeah, but I mean most of myrelationships have ended, you
know, very like amicably it'sbeen.

Speaker 3 (13:28):
That's good, that's really good.
That means you're like a health, like emotionally, um, yeah
sure, yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:34):
So I mean yeah, and emotionally stable, bro, and
emotionally stable, yeah, I meanso it's not like I mean I'm not
perfect, you know what I'msaying, so but like the reason
why they would end like itwasn't for some like petty shit.
You know what I'm saying it waseither.
I mean I mean, of course,because a lot of them were like
older women, so they're probablyon a different journey.

(13:56):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (13:57):
Already.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
So I mean too much offense to it.
It was just all my okay, likeit's just.
Obviously I can see there'ssome type of discrepancy, but
you know, if you're not forsomebody, you're not person.

Speaker 2 (14:07):
That's good bro and that's maturity too, though also
that's a sign of maturity,that's a huge understanding that
, hey, you know what?

Speaker 3 (14:14):
it's all right, sorry , I don't want to take over the
questions, but I'm curious wouldyou say you are an emotionally
available person, or is thatsomething?

Speaker 1 (14:23):
no, I'm no, no, yeah, definitely, I'm definitely like
when they, when it's time forlike to express that like
vulnerability and be vulnerable,no, I, hell, yeah, I.
I actually appreciate that, Iactually look for that, but it's
just that you can't do thatwith everybody.

Speaker 3 (14:36):
Are you quick to cut somebody off?

Speaker 1 (14:39):
no, but I'm good at it.

Speaker 2 (14:41):
I'm good at it, so we need to and he needs to.

Speaker 1 (14:45):
So I'm not going to cut someone off reactively.
I'm not a reactor where I'mlike, oh, cut off.

Speaker 3 (14:51):
You think about it, you dwell in it.

Speaker 1 (14:53):
Yes, I got very good patience.
I'll wait.
I'll make sure I got all myducks in a row, but my cut off
game is good.

Speaker 2 (15:01):
I don't play no games .
I know that's good bro, Wouldyou?

Speaker 3 (15:04):
say that that's like did you have to learn that, or
were you always like that?

Speaker 1 (15:11):
It's learned I would think just because you know
through experience, like youknow from infancy, you know
toddler, adolescence, all thatstuff you're dealing with
attachment to people, yourparents, your siblings, you know
what I'm saying.
Your like friends.
So you have many breakupsthroughout your life already.
You know you have like yourfriends, you might have a cousin
like you, you know what I'msaying.
You might have an argument thatyou have with somebody, a

(15:31):
family member, whatever, and youguys have like a falling out
stages to where, at some point,I know when definitely when I,
when I was, like you know, anadolescent, where I just kind of
just um, I came to the ideawhere, like you know what, if,
if it's not working, just don't,don't associate.

(15:53):
And of course, that grew withtime as well, because there's a
certain level of associationwith people too.

Speaker 3 (15:59):
You know, yeah, because it's like so you grew up
faster than others.
Some could probably say thatBecause people don't start
learning about heartbreak untilI mean, yeah, you learn it for

(16:19):
sure early on, but you don'treally start grasping and
understanding it and being ableto detach until way later, yeah
Me.

Speaker 1 (16:29):
I learned detachment early and that and now maybe
that's I'm sorry.
Yeah, definitely because oflike the why of the?

Speaker 3 (16:33):
well, because it could be a good thing and it
could also be a bad thing.
Detachment, because you couldbe really, really detached and
really perfect it, which is likekind of a trauma response right
, right, but also it's like anormal thing.
It's like a normal thing so itcould be like a bad thing
because you don't havefunctional relationships and you
don't have like it's like aperson is vulnerable to you.

(16:54):
You're like, oh fuck, you likeyou know right but also it could
be a really good thing, becauseyou do know your worth and you
do know I don't want to put upwith this, I don't want to think
about this, I don't want to putup with this, I don't want to
think about this.
I don't want to deal with this.
Bye, yeah.
So it's like.
It's like a.
It could be a double edgedsword with detachment, and I'm
starting to realize that nowwith therapy, of course.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
What it taught me is that you know you have to really
okay, when you're going to bevulnerable with somebody,
there's always a risk, always arisk.
Right, you're going to bevulnerable to somebody, so it
doesn't matter who it is,there's a risk of being
vulnerable.
You're sharing stuff aboutyourself.
It's more intimate, right.
So at the same time, becauseyou're vulnerable, there's a
certain respect that comes withthat right Sharing your

(17:35):
vulnerability with somebody orwhatever.
And when that's breached orwhatever, you kind of feel like
you have to, you know, likewithdraw.
You have to be less vulnerable.
Now you know what.
I'm saying so I think, goingthrough that process like you,
you see, like you're not goingto build a connection by not
giving.
So you have to, you always,always have to be open to that,
but you have to.
You have to keep in mind thatit's not just going to, it's not

(18:08):
going to work out anything bybeing vulnerable.
You have to be cool with beingvulnerable, you know.
So it it it taught me that.
Because detachment, yes, you canuse that as a way to run away.
You know I'm saying, okay, likeI just don't fuck with people
or whatever, or I'm just, youknow, I'm good at just not being
attached.
You know I'm saying I mean it'snot about being attached, it's
about being connected.
You know I'm saying I mean it'snot about being attached, it's
about being connected.
And detachment can get in theway of that, you know.
So I know, like you know, ifI'm with you know a woman and I

(18:31):
and that connection is there, Iwant to nurture that.
Obviously, if something comes inthat that can disrupt that, or
there's evidence that it's likeOK, like this connection isn't,
as you know, like what I thought.
Then I can take action, youknow what I'm saying.
But I shouldn't, I can't theway I think now I can't take
that away from somebody that I'minvolved with to not give them

(18:52):
that you know what I'm sayingUntil I know everything.
So it kind of helped me buildlike maturity, because I did
have a period of time where Iwas just like I'm just detached,
you Like I'm just detached, youknow what I'm saying, like I'm
just so good at just notengaging, not like engaging but
not really being in it, you know.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
It's funny you say that because that's how I know
I'm not ready to date.
Yeah, because I no, I don'tcare.
Yeah, like I care about you asa person.
You know, obviously I'm notgoing to hurt you or lead you on
and stuff like that.
But I don't have that maturityyet to realize that my
detachment is.

(19:30):
I don't think my detachment ishealthy right now.
I think if I were to meetsomebody right now and we
clicked and everything like that, I would be afraid to be
vulnerable.

Speaker 1 (19:39):
It's a trauma.

Speaker 3 (19:40):
Yeah, from the trauma that I've experienced, I would
be afraid to open up and whenyou're really trying to seek an
actual, an actual long-termrelationship, you can't be
afraid of that.

Speaker 1 (19:52):
You have to be able to put yourself out there, and
I'm not ready for that yeah,because, like like how you're
saying, it takes a toll out ofyou too.
You know, I'm saying, especiallyif you have you know however
many years too, and then youhave you know, within those
years are memories, there areevents.
You know there's things,Especially if you have you know
however many years too, and thenyou have you know, within those
years are memories, there's areevents.
You know, there's things thatyou guys have done, you know
together.
There's things that you'vebuilt together.
You know, and when that's all,when it all you know like goes
away or whatever, of course,like your sense of security is

(20:20):
shattered, you know it's likeand then like, and not only that
, you know what I'm saying.
You got people that are people,are going to find you attractive
.
So you got people still, likeyou know like coming up to you,
like hey, like, oh, like, howare you doing?

Speaker 3 (20:36):
Blah, blah, blah, and you can see my friends some of
my friends do understand that,but others don't.
They're just like just Julia,it's okay.

Speaker 2 (20:45):
Like you're single, You're young, Like go out, Go
have fun, and I'm like for whatI was about to say I'm going to
ask this because, like you know,I'm glad you said that, because
at least my next questionDefine fun, right, Because you
know what I'm going with this,fun is a perspective.
Thank you, and the reason why Isay that is because, okay, a
lot of people's fun.

Speaker 3 (21:07):
Is different.

Speaker 2 (21:08):
And I say that because if you're a good,
respectable girl, fun might begoing to a concert or one of
your friends.

Speaker 1 (21:14):
Amusement park maybe.

Speaker 3 (21:15):
Amusement parks, exactly.

Speaker 2 (21:18):
Exactly Something like that or going to a concert,
going to a theme park, like yousaid, or just going out to have
a dinner with friends orwhatever, and going back home.

Speaker 1 (21:26):
But this generation.

Speaker 2 (21:28):
This generation, a lot of the women think like guys
.

Speaker 1 (21:31):
All fun is is cheese and sausage.
You see where I'm going withthis.
That's it.

Speaker 2 (21:34):
Bro, you just said it Exactly and a lot of them go
they do that and they trick outon it.

Speaker 3 (21:46):
And then they're the same for men too, I know.
I know that it can be for a manit could be hiking or it could
be going out and fucking randombitches, or it could be spending
time with family, or it couldbe being by yourself.
It's a lot of the times it'sthe same role, it's?
No, it is julia.

Speaker 2 (21:57):
I'm gonna be honest with you, though, but a lot of
the guys that don't because ofbecause of the quote-unquote
double standard that exists alot of the guys do all three of
those things you just said, orall four of those things you
just said.
That's the reality of it, right?
I'm just going to be honest,and you know what I'm not saying
.
It's right, but it gets lookedat differently because men don't
get viewed the same way aswomen do right.

Speaker 3 (22:16):
But there's a reason for that.

Speaker 1 (22:19):
There is.
There is a reason for that.

Speaker 2 (22:20):
Say it right now most of the time it's harder for a
man believe it, or not even evenattractive ones to get laid
than it is for women.
Women are the gatekeepers, yes,and women.

Speaker 3 (22:29):
At the end of the day , you guys make the decision
right so out there and look forit, and then we could just
literally sit here and just belike whoever you want.

Speaker 2 (22:37):
Let's be honest if you really wanted to, you could
have somebody tonight, if youwanted to not saying you're
gonna do that, no, no, I get youyou see what I'm saying though
it's very true yes, most women.
It's not gonna be hard to findsomebody that wants to do that,
you know.
So for men it's not so much thecase.
So that's why and I feel like,for that strict, real, real
reason right there, hardcorereason is why women are held at
a higher standard, because youguys are more like flowers.

(22:59):
You guys are the gatekeepers.
You decide who you open yourlegs to, who you don't open your
legs to.
Man.
That's not the case.
We can't just I'm gonna get laidtonight, bro, because I feel
like it doesn't work yes, I wasabout to say that come on now
that's the outliers you'retalking about the actors or the
yeah, unless you're that guyexactly.

(23:19):
That's the only way that canhappen, because otherwise and
even then those men might not,unless you're at that mega
status Like you.
Check every box Bro.

Speaker 1 (23:29):
Not one box unchecked Exactly.
You know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 (23:32):
The men that just have that kind of sauce, bro,
where they just walk outside andlook at a female like you down,
yeah, my man, yeah, you aredown.
I know you are.
Come to my address at this.
They could do that shit Now.
The average guy can't do that.
So that's why, and that's 100%why, I feel like it's more
respectable for a woman to holdoff and not be like that.
Go have fun in a different way.
You don't need to go out thereand then by the time they get to

(23:54):
you and you're talking to her,you really like her.
You find out.
Oh, by the way, I had a wholeface.
What does that mean?
You're like?
Oh, I liked her so much untilthis information came out that.
You know that it's just.
It sucks, because then thehypocrisy comes in, right.
What about the guy that'ssaying that?

(24:14):
But it's not.
He slept with 30 women beforeher, but it's not the same right
.
And the reason why I'm sayingis because.

Speaker 1 (24:20):
So just to add to what like to what you're saying,
what aj, what AJ is speaking on, is basically agency.
So women have the agency whenit comes to sex or anything that
comes to that.
So it's like how he was sayingit comes to you, you guys can
just sit there and there will be10 guys you first, you next,

(24:41):
you next, you next, you next.
Or?

Speaker 2 (24:43):
you not at all.
Yeah, the women are alreadymaking that decision.
It'll happen in that order,usually right, absolutely you
know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 (24:48):
Like let's keep out raping and all that stuff, right
?
So it'll happen in that order.
So it's like it's moredistasteful to see that a woman
has been just all willy-nillywith her just because you can,
you know what.

Speaker 2 (25:02):
You're cute enough.
You're cute enough, fuck it.
You're cute enough, fuck it.

Speaker 1 (25:04):
You're cute enough and they couldn't do that there
are women that do that shit, bro.
But that's why it's frownedupon, because it's like you,
it's not like you're having togo out there Like the reason why
men and I'm not saying it'sright- right.
It okay.

(25:26):
Let's say I'm listening, let'stake, let's take, no, it's, it's
a perspective thing, it'sfemale on male and it's like,
like I.
I love to hear both versions ofcourse, like, let's take, okay,
like in the church, right, thechurch has agency for the belief
, right?
Yeah, like, okay, this is whereyou come to find god, whatever,
right, the person, the, thepatron, they're going there,
they're at the mercy of the, ofwhoever's at the pulpit you know

(25:48):
what I'm saying Whoever'spreaching that word, it's like
they come, this person serves.
So if the church is serving badmessage or whatever like that,
and the people I mean, obviouslythere's certain levels of
ignorance certain levels ofignorance.
But if, if they're buying it,who's really?
Who's the person that who hasthe agency to make like who's

(26:08):
more at an advantage of gainingsomething off of whatever?
no, the church gains more yeah,the people yeah yeah, so, so, so
, like, let's say like, like,like.
The church will be like oh, weneed, uh, twenty dollars, or
let's say a hundred bucks fromeach, from each member, for
whatever right they got theagency.
They, they set the price, theyset the tone.

(26:31):
The members are just like oh,okay, like, what do I gotta do?
Yes, that's the agency that'strue saying so.
That's why, like when you seethem doing bad stuff, it's like
no, you're the, it's not thecongregation that that that's at
fault, it's the, it's thechurch, like you have the power
to decide what goes where that'strue.
That's why it's frowned upon.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
It doesn't make it right no, but that's just the
way it is.
No, I agree, that's what it is.
Yeah, you understand that,right, it's like how we were
created.

Speaker 3 (26:58):
yeah, um, regardless of whether you're agnostic,
religious Buddhist, whatever, oryou know not shunning on
anybody, but at the end of theday, you have to go back to
biology.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (27:13):
Yeah, 100%.

Speaker 2 (27:14):
And that's why I want to say this to a lot of women,
and I've met women, plenty ofwomen that have been like, oh, I
don't care, it's not fair.
So then I followed up with thenwhat do you want to do then?
Are you telling me you want tobang half the city?
Is that what you're telling me?

Speaker 3 (27:26):
You want to be able to go out there and open your
legs and have a good time andthat it's okay.
Yeah, Well, okay look.

Speaker 2 (27:30):
That's my question.
There's a lot of risk too,exactly, hell, yeah, there is,
bro.
This is what I'm going to say.

Speaker 3 (27:45):
That because you don't know how hurt they were to
get to that point you don'tgive a fuck anymore.
Yeah, because there are humanbeings out there that will fuck
you over so bad that, in orderfor you to feel like you're
living life, you want to go dothat kind of stuff.
And that's fine as long as it'sconsensual, as long as you're
being safe, because, at the endof the day, well, I'm not living
your life, I'm not in yourshoes, I don't know what you're

(28:05):
going through.
I, at the end of the day, well,I'm not living your life, I'm
not in your shoes.
I don't know what you're goingthrough, I don't know what you
feel.
I don't know what you'relacking.
I don't know the emotional.
Maybe, maybe I don't know maybeyou're not being loved and then
it's perceived as love.
We don't like hurt people, hurtpeople and that sucks, but it's
the truth I'm not gonna I'm notsaying, hey, it's good to go

(28:29):
hurt somebody because you'rehurt.
No, you understandself-evaluate yep, go to therapy
.
Go to church, seek jesus, go domeditation.
I don't know paint, I don'tknow um go walk.
Go walk on the park, I don'tknow Do something that makes you
be able to be by yourself andthink and reflect about the type

(28:51):
of person that you want to be.

Speaker 1 (28:54):
You know what I think it is.

Speaker 3 (28:57):
It's good advice, by the way.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
Julia.
Oh yeah, that is very good.
That's how it should be.
That's a healthier way.
Hell yeah, that's a greatoutlet To address the issue of
not being or not feelingvalidated, right, but I think
because, when it comes tointimate relationships between
people, right, because it's aperson, a flesh and blood
breathing person the person hasto go to the next person In
their head.
If someone else wants me, I'mvalidated.

Speaker 2 (29:20):
If this person wants me.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
This person looks good this person of this status
wants.
They at least want to do thisand this to me, and the thing
about it too, is the reason whyit's sex is because sex is the
is the freest drug on the on theplanet, right not necessarily,
not necessarily.

Speaker 3 (29:40):
They act like it's free because it's actually hard
to get if you can't get it rightyeah, but it's like you feel
good, it takes you out ofwhatever it is that you're
feeling and you're right there,and then you get um, you get a
relief, yeah it's the bestnatural drug right you know what
I'm saying there really are nodrawbacks to it, right, besides,
like you know, the negativetoxicity that comes with it,
right, but there's reallynothing um bad about it.

Speaker 1 (30:04):
So I think, when it comes to that and like
validation, like it's, those twolike in in combination, it's
just the recipe for disaster.
People are going to go off offthe deep end, like we see it
with people with with meth coke.
That's just, that's on thesmall scale.
You know saying that's asubstance.
If that was a person, that's,that's what it would be, in my
opinion.

Speaker 3 (30:23):
Sex can be a substance.
Yeah, saying that's a substance, if that was a person, that's
what it would be.

Speaker 2 (30:25):
But in my opinion, sex can be a substance, yeah
Well, yeah, companionship can bea substance.
You could be addicted to thattoo.

Speaker 3 (30:30):
Yeah, because you didn't and also that's a trauma
response you didn't get it as achild, you didn't get it young,
you're seeking it.

Speaker 1 (30:46):
So now you're seeking it approval and it's, but
that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (30:48):
Going to therapy seeking jesus, seeking a higher
power, that's when that helps.
Purpose helps and for a longtime, I'll be honest with you
guys I didn't know what the heckmy purpose was, because who
really does know?
yeah, we're walking this life,we're figuring it out we're just
trying to get day by day,paying bills, going to work,
dealing with family, regardlessof whether you were born in a
healthy family or a toxic family, or we're trying to figure it

(31:10):
out.
So at the end of the day, youforget, like, okay, this is my
life, like am I going to be okay, am I going to persevere?
And then I mean I'll be honestwith you.
My therapist hit me with a hardhitting question.
That shouldn't be, but it is.

(31:32):
He was like what's the lifelong goal?

Speaker 2 (31:35):
Julia, and I was like huh, that's a real question,
though I was like what you neverasked yourself, that I never
thought about that.
I was like huh, what's the longgame?
And it makes you feel so stupid, because that's the truth.
You didn't think about itenough.

Speaker 3 (31:46):
What is the life worth living?
And I'm like huh.

Speaker 1 (31:50):
What do you want in the end?
What do?

Speaker 2 (31:52):
you mean.

Speaker 3 (31:53):
He was like no, julia , what is all this hard work
going to be for at the end ofthe day?

Speaker 2 (32:00):
And I was like damn, I didn't think about it, I was
like damn, yeah, she was amazing.

Speaker 1 (32:05):
I was like how many people don't ask themselves?

Speaker 3 (32:07):
that exactly.
But you're looking at right nowyes, but that's why I think like
, when people think abouttherapy or or psychologists or
psychiatrists, they think aboutit a very negatively kind of
form, because, I don't know,maybe the film industry has
depicted it as medicaid,medicaid, medicaid, medicaid and

(32:30):
that's not the fact, becausesometimes we have um like a
brain chemical imbalance.
That that's the the truth of itall.
Sometimes we don't know.
Um, like I learned, I'm goingto be very vulnerable right now.
I learned that, um, my frontallobe didn't develop fully

(32:52):
because of the trauma that Idealt with as a child, so my
frontal lobe actually shrunk sotherefore, I have a very bad
memory wow, is it like shortterm or like it's?
it's long-term memory.
It's like it, for example um, Iwent to go celebrate my best

(33:12):
friend's um.
She, she graduated with hermaster's, okay, and we, she
rented a party bus and she toldme this we, we went to go
celebrate and to me, when Iremembered it, it was her
birthday.
It was her birthday wait, thatdoesn't sound so I knew we were

(33:32):
celebrating her master's degreebut you can still recollect old
things and I remember beingthere.
Yeah, you could still rememberthings you still, you remember
your childhood, you remembercertain things, but it's it's
like okay, let's say, I had a, aconversation.
Okay, ashley, for example, yoursister.
I had a conversation with herand I said my next set of nails

(33:54):
I know this is so stupid, butwe're we're girls okay, yeah, my
next set of nails are going tobe strawberry nails.
I don't remember having thatconversation with her and I wasn
.
She clearly remembers it.
She's like Julia, you told me,and I was like, oh what?
We weren't drinking, we weren'tdrunk, we were literally just
hanging out.
But it's like my memory is shit, like I forget everything.

(34:16):
I forget a lot of things and itsucks because I've been made
fun of, like Julia, you're dumb,like oh my God, what the fuck?
We just talked about this, wedid this and I'm like we did
like and I'm just like I don'tknow, and it comes.
It perceives me as being slow,it perceives me as being dumb,
it perceives me as being, um,ignorant.

(34:38):
But it's with therapy that mymemory is shit because of the
shit that I went through as achild, and a lot of people don't
know this.

Speaker 2 (34:49):
If you don't mind me asking, what was the trauma that
took place as a child thatcaused it oh.
God we won't get into too manycrazy details.
That's off topic.

Speaker 3 (34:57):
This is going to be a four-hour podcast.

Speaker 2 (35:00):
It'll have four hours Well okay, okay.

Speaker 3 (35:03):
I'll sum it up to just one event, because it you
know and I'm not trying to makeanybody feel sorry for me it's
what we go through as people, asas kids, as family.
Sometimes we're born into areally, really good family and
sometimes we're not, andsometimes we get dealt with shit
hands of cards and that's okay,as long as you come out of the

(35:24):
other side of it, it's good ofcourse but, um, my mom tried
killing herself at a reallyyoung age and I didn't know, I
thought she was just sick.
Um, amr came, firefighters came,they resuscitated her and all
this stuff, and I was I don'tknow.
I think I was like six or sevenor eight, I don't know.

(35:48):
I just thought my mom was sick.
That's what I perceived it asself.
Because you know, my father wasan alcoholic and he was abusing

(36:09):
her and she had six kids totake care of and he wasn't
helping her.
She was raising these six kidsand of course, any normal person
in that situation is going towant an outlet and her outlet
was killing herself.
I know that's not a lot ofpeople's other outlets, you know
, but she didn't have anybody.
I know that's not a lot ofpeople's other outlets, you know
, but she didn't have anybody.
She didn't have God, she didn'thave a therapist, she didn't
have a friend to go to.

(36:29):
She was dealing all of this byherself, raising six kids, six
kids.
So I don't look at her and like, look down on her and be like
you're dumb for trying to killyourself or, oh my God, you're
so weak.
Or you know it makes fuckingsense, now that I'm older, that

(36:51):
I'm just like shit I mean, shehad no other outlet that was her
out, wow, um.
So she spent a like a week inthe hospital, like, oh, like, no
, like a week and a half in themental institute.
Well, the mental the like, youknow, at the hospital that we
work at or used to work at, uh,what was it called behavioral
health or whatever.
I don't know what did, what didthey change it to?
So she spent like a week and ahalf in um, the mental institute

(37:14):
part of the hospital.
So I didn't have my mom forlike a week and a half and I was
little, I didn't know what wasgoing on.
I thought, oh, she's sick, butit wasn't until 13 realizing
that.

Speaker 2 (37:27):
So all that trauma you know, is that what affected
it?
Wow.

Speaker 3 (37:31):
It affected me and that's just one part of it.
That's literally just one partof it, but I was one of six, one
of six kids, and I'm the baby.
So I feel as like the baby.
I absorbed all of theirmistakes, all of their

(37:52):
challenges, all of theirconversations, and I think it
did equip me to be mature enoughto handle life now.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
Were you the last of the six.

Speaker 3 (38:02):
Yeah, I'm the baby.
I'm the baby of the six and.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
I had, yeah, so so you have any sisters or just
brothers?

Speaker 3 (38:08):
I have one sister and four older brothers, so, um,
I'm very close to my siblings,very, very close to my siblings.
It took me a while to likebuild a relationship with my
parents because I for a longtime I didn't like them.
For a long time I resented themand that's okay, I mean it is
what it is.
But now I recently, like I justhug my dad, I kiss him, I say I

(38:34):
love him.
I hug my mom, I kiss her.
But I've always hugged my momand kissed her.
But like I actually have morepatience for my parents now,
because I know that they're notgoing to be here for a long time
, and therapy taught me that.
Therapy taught me to put myselfoutside of situations and take
myself out of the equation.

Speaker 1 (38:56):
Be more objective.

Speaker 3 (38:57):
Exactly and it's helped.
So it sucks that the older kindof generation thinks that
therapy and psychiatry andmedication is a negative.
But it's not because you talkthrough your feelings, you talk
about what it is that you'regoing through, but you have to

(39:19):
be okay with facing yourself andthat's the thing that nobody
really gets to.
That's.
That's something that nobodyreally talks about is that you
have to be okay with facing whoyou really are as a person.

Speaker 1 (39:33):
You have to be accountable.

Speaker 3 (39:35):
Exactly.
You have to hold accountabilityof your actions.
You have to be okay with being.
Hey, I was a piece of shit andthat's okay.
But I don't no longer want tobe a piece of shit, so I'm going
to be this person and that'sokay.
That's okay.
We all fuck up as human beings.
We all go through our life andrealize, hey, who do you want to

(39:59):
be?
What do you want your?
And I'm not going to say legacy, because that's fucking stupid.
I'm going to say who do youwant your?
And I'm not going to say legacy, because I was fucking stupid.
I'm going to say who do youwant people to remember you?
As the fake version that youput out to the world?
Or the real version that youfeel when you look at yourself
in the mirror at night, or, witha real person, that you look at
yourself when you're gettingready for work?

(40:20):
What do you want?

Speaker 2 (40:21):
That's true, because you know what?
There's actually two legaciesthat everybody leaves behind.
I don't want.

Speaker 3 (40:26):
You say, you say you don't like using the word legacy
.
Why?
Because I'm just a person.
There's no legacy.

Speaker 2 (40:32):
I'm just no, no, no, no okay, I think, I think, I
think you're, you're taking theword legacy and you're making
this sounds too like it'smajestic, like arbitrary.

Speaker 1 (40:39):
You're a fucking queen, or?

Speaker 3 (40:40):
it sounds too majestic okay, I get it.

Speaker 2 (40:43):
So you're too majestic, like oh, I have a
legacy, like there's statuesabove me everywhere I'm not
important.
No, that's not true, though Idon't I.
I would argue that actually Ithink, everybody.
I think everybody has a legacy.
I understand what you're saying, but I don't like the word
legacy, watch out.
But being remembered forsomething is the same thing as
legacy, I agree.
I just if you don't like usingthe word, I get it.
I understand why you feel likeyou're not.
I don't.

(41:03):
I disagree with that.
I feel like everybody is asomebody to someone in their
world, to somebody in thisplanet.
On this planet, you're somebodyto somebody, you're right.
So that's why I I disagree withthat.
Respectfully, okay, but I thinkwith legacy too, right, um,
accountability, that's a bigpart of it, but there's two.
I feel like now that you saidthat I'll get to get the

(41:24):
accountability in a secondlegacy, I feel like you leave
two behind.
If you're famous, you leavebehind what everybody thinks you
are, the things that they knowabout you like.
I'll use kobe bryant as anexample.
People know him as a hardworker.
People know him as a guy thatwould wake his teammates up at 5
am to get in the gym and workout before a match, and that's
why they were.
They were a three-peat lakerteam at one point.
So people know him for hiscraziness is his good work ethic

(41:47):
, the the last minute gamewinning shots that he would make
people know kobe bryant forthat right being a fucking goat
in basketball.
That's part of his legacy,right, but I think that's only
his surface loan by the publiclegacy.
We don't know how the fuck kobebryant was at home as a dad or
as a legacy to his father, tohis, to his you know what I mean
To his closest friends.

Speaker 1 (42:06):
We don't know who the fuck that guy was.

Speaker 2 (42:08):
Let's be honest, we don't.
We know what he did on abasketball court.
Sure, we knew what he said tothe media.
We didn't know who the fuck hewas off camera.
So you guys don't know who weare off camera.
So there's two types oflegacies you leave behind, right
, because the people that canlook at the public legacy be
like, yeah, that's true, he didall those things, but man, that
guy was a real piece of shit.
Or then that guy was a reallymodel citizen, like man.

(42:31):
He lived exactly the same wayoff the court that he did off
the court.
We don't know, you right?
You see what I'm going withthis.
That's what I feel like knowshit about the public figures
that we know about the privatelife.
Bro, exactly, I'm sorry, wedon't know shit about their
private life.
We know about their public life, yeah like.

Speaker 3 (42:47):
Well, I will say this , though like your dad's funeral
, when I saw all those peopleshow up, yeah it didn't surprise
me.
Yeah, it did not surprise me,because your father touched so
many people's hearts.
Maybe he didn't even mean to.
He was just speaking his truthand being the person that he was

(43:09):
.

Speaker 2 (43:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (43:11):
But I remember pulling up to the church for the
service and I was just like,yeah, I'm not shocked, the
parking lot was full.
I had to park in the desertarea because the actual parking
lot was full.
We had to.
I had to park in the desertarea because the parking lot,
the actual parking lot, was full.

Speaker 2 (43:30):
Yeah, I didn't expect to see that many people there.
That's crazy.
I don't know how many lives hetouched, bro.

Speaker 3 (43:33):
That's crazy he touched so many lives and when I
walked into that church it waspacked, it was full.
And it didn't surprise me,because he was such a beautiful
soul and such a beautiful person, and that's what I aspire to be
I appreciate that.

Speaker 2 (43:51):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahyeah.

Speaker 3 (43:53):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You don't have any values, youdon't have any morals.

(44:23):
Aspire to be a better person,aspire to be good, aspire to To
advance someone's life somehowother than in your own.
I'm sorry, but for me as aperson, when, if somebody talks
about me, I do not want them tosay, yeah, she was a fucking
bitch, yeah, she was a fuckingcunt, yeah, she was selfish,

(44:47):
yeah, blah, yeah, blah, blah,blah.
No, I, I mean, I don't reallycare what people think about me,
but I want people that are nearme to feel comfortable and to
feel good and to be able to beopen, because that's what john
was yeah, and you touched whatjohn was john touched people in
such a positive way and I feltso comfortable being in that
house, like that house at onepoint was my refugee, because my

(45:10):
family was so toxic and becausemy home was not any of that
like.
I didn't know what support was.
I didn't know what love was.
I didn't know what emotionallybeing vulnerable was.
I had to fucking learn how tobe emotionally available in a
relationship.
I had to learn how to beemotionally available to my
friends.
I'm surprised that my friendsare still my friends till this

(45:32):
day, because I was so in my ownworld, in my own head, that I
didn't care about anything elsebut myself.
That's so selfish.
But I learned.
You learn as you go and then youyou say, hey, who do you want
to be?
What do you want to be?
How do you want to come out topeople?

(45:55):
Because at the end of the day,we're all lonely, right, we're
all lonely.
We all want love, we all wantto get hugged, we all want to be
validated, we all want to beconsidered, we all want to be
thought of.
It's just I.
I know it sucks, because I hatethat part of me.
I hate the vulnerability partof me.

(46:16):
I don't want to rely on anybodyto give me validation, but
we're human beings and it's inour fucking dna.
So fucking deal with it.
So fucking deal with it.
Find so fucking deal with it.
Find the right people to hangout with.
Your crowd is who you are.
Your crowd is who you are and Ihave great friends.
I have great, beautiful friends.
That the only reason I was ableto persevere from the breakup

(46:41):
and the cheating that my ex didand all that stuff was because
of my friends.
My friend paid for my gymmembership for three months.
I didn't know that.
Wow, jasmine.
Okay, jasmine, and I will saythat name, jasmine, I'm not
going to say her last name, butJasmine fucking paid for my

(47:03):
membership at the gym for threemonths so that I can start
feeling good about myself,because I felt like a fucking
piece of shit.

Speaker 2 (47:10):
I felt worthless.
That's a real friend.
I felt worthless Based off ofwhat happened in your
relationship.

Speaker 3 (47:14):
Cheating when you love somebody so much and they
cheat on you.

Speaker 1 (47:21):
Your world gets shattered.

Speaker 3 (47:22):
My world, literally everything.
I didn't know who I was, Ididn't know what I literally
everything.
I didn't know who I was, Ididn't know what I was doing, I
didn't know my worth.

Speaker 2 (47:28):
A lot of the time, though it's not your fault,
though it's the other person'sselfishness that caused that.
Look, this is what I've learned.
No, but I've learned this.
I want to hear what you say,though, go ahead, I just want to
say it really quick Go haseverything to do with the other
person and nothing to do withyou.

Speaker 3 (47:45):
Facts that's big, I will repeat that Cheating has
everything to do with the otherperson and nothing to do with
you.
Go.

Speaker 2 (47:59):
Yo mic drop, bro.
She just said.
She said I'll drop a shell Micdrop, no.
Honestly said.
She said I'll drop a shell Micdrop, no.
Honestly though.
I want to second that and I saythat because a lot of the time
there's been, there's beensituations where I've seen
people get cheated on.
That didn't even make sense whythe person got cheated on.
It's ridiculous to me.

Speaker 3 (48:18):
But again, and then you see people that got cheated
on.
That it does make sense.

Speaker 2 (48:24):
You know, you do see that that that got cheated on.
That it does make sense, you dosee that that's true it doesn't
make it entirely right, butit's like why is this happening?

Speaker 1 (48:30):
Why isn't this happening so that this can't?

Speaker 2 (48:32):
happen.
No, that's facts.
And again, I'm not saying thatit makes it right.
Now let me get to a littlecontroversial topic here, with
cheating.
I'm going to say this I have acouple of theories, because I
agree with you.
I have a couple of theoriesbecause I agree with you.
It doesn't make sense why peoplecheat.
It doesn't make sense.
I think that if you're going tocheat, leave the person be
respectful, respect your time,respect their time.
It's not feeling the sameanymore.

(48:52):
Grow some balls you can't have.
You can't just keep them.
Sorry, they're not.
They're not a collectible.
Oh, you know, I'll just sleepwith her a few times when also
want to try that out, but Idon't want to lose that though,
because I do like that.
No, it doesn't work that way.
It doesn't work that way.
We're people.
We're not fucking things wekeep on a shelf.
But my point is if you're goingto do it, obviously break up

(49:13):
with the person, right, but whatI'm saying, what also leads to
it, what's unfortunate and Ifeel like this is very true
doesn't stops to satisfy you incertain ways.
Now, I'm not saying that'salways the case, that's not
always the case, but it is thecase in some people's
relationships, right, you'll belike sometimes they'll stop
putting out, they'll stopshowing love, they'll start,
they'll stop doing this, stopdoing that, right, and then they

(49:34):
expect you to still be the sameperson you were always in that
relationship and even and I'mnot a piece of shit, and you
should never say this guys,don't just say, hey, I'm not
cheating, I'm trying to refrainfrom it, but you're not making
it easy because you're notputting it out.
Don't do that.
That's the wrong thing to sayto your woman.
Don't do it.
The point I'm getting at iscommunicate it in a respectful

(49:55):
love way, loveful, like, in aloving way.
Say maybe, like hey, you, whyis that?
Am I affecting you somehow?
Are we not going on enoughdates?
Am I not showing you enoughemotional support?
Am I not showing you the samelove that I showed you when we
started out?
Ask those questions.
Don't be embarrassed to havethose questions with your
partner, right?
I feel like that can avoid it.
But sometimes, evennevertheless, sometimes women

(50:18):
gatekeep it and then, men, theyunfortunately go look for it
somewhere else.

Speaker 3 (50:29):
Because I feel like I feel like, to a degree,
physicality is important in arelationship, of course, and I
think that's when communicationand you learning and this is, I
go back to saying, emotionallyavailable, emotionally mature,
and it's communicationrelationship is with
communication.
I'm sorry, but my best friends.
I'm always texting them, I'malways telling them I love them,
I'm always saying, hey, I knowyou live far, but let's hang out

(50:50):
.
It's a relationship.
At the end of the day, it's arelationship and you're going to
have to have uncomfortableconversations with your friends,
with your partner, with yourfamily, with whatever, with your
job, with your manager, withyour coworkers, with whatever
with your job with your manager,with your co-workers, whatever
it is.
But you're going to have to havethese uncomfortable

(51:12):
conversations.
But this is when it comes toactually do you value the
relationship that you're in?
Because if you don't value it,you're not going to give a fuck
about it.
Nope, you're not going to givea fuck about your co-workers if
you don't value them.
You're not going to give a fuckabout it.
Nope, you're not going to givea fuck about your co-workers if
you don't value them.
You're not going to give a fuckabout your family if you don't
value them.
You're not going to give a fuckabout your girlfriend or your
boyfriend if you do not valuethe relationship 100 and that's

(51:35):
when I go back to it haseverything to do with you and
nothing to do with them, becausethat is your perception, that
is.
Is you saying okay?

Speaker 2 (51:47):
So how would you, how would you recommend?
Sorry, I'm going to cut you off.

Speaker 3 (51:49):
No, no, no, you're good, how do?

Speaker 2 (51:50):
you recommend someone or no.
Finish your statement first.
Sorry, no, ask the questionthis way, I was just going to
say are you done?
Sure.

Speaker 3 (51:57):
Or no.
I made you forget, didn't I?
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (52:09):
I made you forget.
Stop doing that.
I literally cut you off in themiddle of your fucking sentence,
son of a bitch, I mean, becauseshe forgot what she was gonna
say.
The thing is like I mean to adegree, to a degree like there
is like perception, but thenthere's also like reality.
So it's like if what's happeningso what's happening is
happening and you're perceivingit.
It's like okay, like, let's say, you are in the situation where
, where let's say, you're theman right and you and you have a
wife, you guys, usually yourrhythm is good, right, it's
frequent, whatever, likeeverything's cool, right, and

(52:30):
suddenly it just stops, right.
Let's say it stops with like noexplanation and you ask, you
inquire.
You're not being, like you know, belittling or anything like
that.
You're asking, you're inquiring, and then you're just getting
brushed off, you know.
At that point what can you do?
But yeah, let's say that that'syour wife at that point.
True, let's say who knows howfar this relationship is.

(52:54):
All you know is that thisevent's happening and it's been
like prolonged.
How do you like go about it,especially when you've already
addressed it and it's not beinglike revisited or like you know?

Speaker 2 (53:08):
what's it?

Speaker 1 (53:08):
called like solved right.
What do you do?
Because the thing is like youcan't just, if you're married to
somebody, oh, I'm gonna divorceyou because we haven't had sex
in a month.
You can't just say that no, youcan't be, I'm saying you can't
just leave so sometimes I thinkthat's why I don't.
I don't justify cheating, but II understand it.
I understand it to a degreewhen it's like, okay, if you're
being deprived, it doesn't makeit right, right, but why isn't

(53:31):
your partner doing it?
I was going to say too whyaren't they doing it?

Speaker 3 (53:35):
I'll be honest with you, respectfully.
I don't understand it, becauseI had multiple occasions to
cheat too.
I had it.
You had opportunities.
Yeah, yeah, I had opportunities, and it wasn't even the
opportunities I had.
Um, I was not being satisfiedin my relationship.

(53:56):
I was not being satisfied yes,overall, or just physically?
Physically satisfied okayphysically in that way and
mentally and emotionally Iwasn't being satisfied in any
aspect of the relationship aftera while.

Speaker 2 (54:10):
So you didn't go look for satisfaction somewhere else
, because you were loving himand I did not go.

Speaker 3 (54:15):
People were giving me attention.

Speaker 2 (54:17):
Guys were giving me attention Because women could
cheat whenever she could havebeen like.
All right, he could probablysatisfy me.

Speaker 3 (54:21):
I had opportunities, trust me, andrew and Sel.

Speaker 1 (54:25):
I had opportunities.
Trust me, andrew, but did youbring those dissatisfactions to
his attention?
Of course I did, like thephysical, emotional, like the
stuff.

Speaker 3 (54:34):
Yes, I was constantly having conversations with him
and saying I don't feel close toyou anymore, I don't feel like
this and this is happening.
I don't feel okay.
I feel like something is off.
I was always telling him.
I feel like this is happening.
I don't feel okay.
I feel like something is off.
I was always telling him I feellike something is off.
Can we talk?

Speaker 2 (54:52):
But, like I said, but you told him straight up like
hey, bro, this is not doing itfor me.
I don't know, maybe we shouldtry something different.

Speaker 3 (54:57):
Like hey, Well, we did In the bedroom, let's try
something different.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
We did, but he knew I was Again not to make you laugh
, but maybe we should do it inthe kitchen, maybe we should do
it on the couch.

Speaker 3 (55:06):
Maybe we should do it somewhere else in the apartment
.
You guys try that.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
I'll say this Sorry, you only got to give us detail,
if you don't want to.

Speaker 3 (55:11):
No, no, no.
I'll say this I said I'm a verypassionate lover.
Huh, and I don't feel anypassion all there.

Speaker 2 (55:24):
So when you guys would engage, it felt like he
was somewhere else, like he wasdoing the act, but he wasn't
really.

Speaker 3 (55:26):
Yes, and I, I like the passion, I like you being
there, I like you staring intomy eyes.

Speaker 1 (55:31):
You can't fake passion.

Speaker 3 (55:32):
You can't, you could fuck you could have sex yeah but
you can't fake passion.
I'm sorry, I've been in arelationship for you, with you
for this long and it still feelslike a hookup or a first, or
there's nothing there.
Like I'm sorry, but questionguys, question guys.
I will ask you this If you'rein a relationship with a woman

(55:56):
for I don't know, let's say four, three years, you're going to
understand what she likes to gether going right.
At that point you will.
But okay, so you will right Ifto get her going right.

Speaker 1 (56:05):
At that point you will.
But okay, so you will right, Ifyou're paying attention.
Right, yeah, if you're payingattention, If you're actually
engaging.

Speaker 3 (56:15):
You're going to know what makes her come and what
makes her rouse and what makesher good.

Speaker 1 (56:21):
But the only thing you're not going to know is what
she doesn't tell you.
So if there is something thatyou, there is a certain thing
that you can't meet, and let'ssay like she, like she feels,
like she can't bring it upwithout hurting your feelings,
you're not going to know that'strue, and then that's something
that's going to be kept from you.
What if she's so open with youand saying I like to be choked,

(56:43):
I like this.

Speaker 2 (56:44):
Then you should do those things and if you're not
doing them yeah, then it's gonnafall apart, of course,
especially if you're openlytelling them this is what I like
, this is what I like, don't besorry, fuck that.

Speaker 1 (56:58):
Be unapologetic, you can be that in those situations,
because everything's already onthe table, regardless of
people's feelings, people shouldliterally be honest, because
sometimes you'll have girls askyou oh, do you like me, like
this, or slimmer, or whatever.
I know women always have animage about their weight.
I've had a question asked memultiple times right Of course,
I'm just like.

(57:18):
I'm personally cool with yourweight.
You know what I'm sayingPersonally.
Obviously, reality, reality,okay, could you probably be a
little bit more quote-unquotefit.
Yeah, sure, right, withoutbeing offensive, right, but I'm
being transparent, you know whatI'm saying.
Sometimes, though, on the flipside, women don't want to tell

(57:38):
guys everything that they don'treally like.
They're not telling everyone100% like I don't like this, I
don't like this.
They're telling you all thestuff to what they think that
you're cool with.
Okay, at this point I don'tthink he can handle this.
I'm not going to tell him this,but that's a really important
part for her.

Speaker 2 (57:54):
But then she should say that Fuck that.

Speaker 1 (57:56):
But if she doesn't mention that, it's better to
mention it so that he knows andobviously, if he can't meet that
area, you know, what I'm saying, then okay.

Speaker 2 (58:05):
At least you establish it Exactly.

Speaker 1 (58:07):
I'm going to take advantage, because if it's not
known, you don't know.

Speaker 2 (58:11):
No, I'm going to take advantage of this too.
I'm going to say this becausehe furies us onto something
right here.
I'm going to say this and thisis a PA, take it as a PA.
I'm going to look at the camera, seen your partner butt, ass
naked.
You should not be ashamed,embarrassed or even pensive, or

(58:32):
even uh, what's the word?
When you hold back.
If you're apprehensive to tellyour partner about like what you
like and you've already seeneach other that vulnerably then
what are you really doing?
You're not in a relationshipyou want to be.
If you got to cover yourquote-unquote, as they call it,
shame yeah, I'm not shamefulabout my parts, but anyway, some
people are.
No, yeah, but I'm saying likeyou, you just know you should be
that be able to be vulnerable,yeah hey babe I like this if,
can we try this, if it's notfuck it, be blunt.

(58:53):
If you have to present it thatway, present it that way.
Would you guys agree?

Speaker 1 (58:55):
fuck it, try it yeah, like, because sometimes it
suddenly doesn't work.

Speaker 2 (58:58):
I like what julia said sorry you know, good job.
She was like I like to be and Iwas saying you, pertain, in
particular.
Maybe you do, maybe you don't.
I like to be choked.
I like my hair pulled.

Speaker 3 (59:07):
Smack my ass, like you mean it, like you want to
Something like to have.

Speaker 2 (59:11):
That might turn them.
You know, listen to that shit,do it, and sometimes it suddenly
won't work.

Speaker 1 (59:28):
You need to flat out tell them hey, I love you, so
I'm going to tell you flat,don't do it.
It's kind of like all right,bro, like what's the problem?
What's going on, really, likewhat's really happening.
Everyone's got like differenttastes and it's like you gotta
be I think you gotta be 100, 100transparent, because it's like
if someone has okay, like likesomeone, some men like bbws,
right, yeah, some big like bigwomen, right, some people can't
understand that, right, butobviously it's not what you like
.
Yeah, it could be a preferenceof yours, yeah, like some people
who are just super fit, superthis, super that.
But it's like, if you're withsomebody, let's say you're with

(59:51):
somebody and they meet everyexpectation except one, and
that's a very important one foryou and that's the one that
you're not telling them yourneed's not being met, and then?
you're just in this with themand then you might let's just
say that you stop engaging withthem and then it just trickles
down.
I think at the forefront itshould be honest.

(01:00:14):
People should just be upfrontabout who they are and what they
want.

Speaker 2 (01:00:18):
If you're a freak and you like this and you like that
, whatever it can come to that,absolutely Just be open about it
.
I feel like that should happenduring dating.
Because that's gonna be thething that really it's gonna
have who's who should be therethere now.
Look, I would.
No, I agree.

Speaker 1 (01:00:31):
Then you find the right because partner that
you're with right for, like man,it wasn't right because, like
like, let's just say it's noteverything, but I agree.

Speaker 2 (01:00:36):
No, you need to connect like I'm sorry, go
finish your thought.

Speaker 1 (01:00:38):
You gotta be like you just gotta be like transparent
really about, especially when itcomes to that like okay, like
what do you have to?

Speaker 3 (01:00:43):
be transparent about everything yeah and that's when
it's hard, in relationshipswhere are you ready?
Yeah, I do I know you do allright I will say this okay
because with um, when you getinto a relationship, especially
a long-term relationship, youhave to be okay with the other
person.

(01:01:03):
Not being okay Because we allhave our seasons, right, we all
have our shit going on.

Speaker 2 (01:01:09):
I struggle with that too, struggled.

Speaker 3 (01:01:12):
I think that in my past relationship I was fully,
fully there for somebody thatwas not okay Emotionally.
He you know, he was deployedand stuff like that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:28):
He's in the service.

Speaker 3 (01:01:29):
He was he was.
He was in the service Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:01:32):
Add a little bit, a little bit more context to it,
yep.

Speaker 3 (01:01:34):
Yes, so he was and, um, he was deployed for 11
months, which is pretty much ayear, and I could have easily
cheated.

Speaker 2 (01:01:45):
Easily.

Speaker 3 (01:01:45):
I could have easily been like hey, I'm not getting
laid, I'm not getting any dick,I'm not getting any attention.
I could have easily, easilydone it, but I didn't, because I
valued my relationship, Ivalued what we had, I valued, I
loved him, not surface levelloved, but deeply.

(01:02:09):
And then, um, you know, he cameback and he changed, things
were different.
It as what happens with peoplewho are deployed, who see
certain things that they're notsupposed to see, who go through
very traumatic situations that Ias an individual can never

(01:02:30):
understand.
I can never understand beingaway for that long and serving
your country and being left toshit and sleeping in fucking
garbage and being fed garbagefood and right and your family

(01:02:50):
not reaching out to you and notlike I get it.

Speaker 2 (01:02:54):
I can't understand it , but I get it his family, his
family's reach out to him nowit's not about that.

Speaker 3 (01:03:00):
It's, it's literally not about that, but it's just
like he was alone and no one wasthere for him but me and his
family.
So it was just like it sucks.
I I don't know what you wentthrough over there because you,
at the end of the day, can'ttalk about it because you have

(01:03:20):
security clearance and all thisother stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:03:23):
Amber's so weird.
What are you doing, girl?
You want to make it a Furious?
Does not fuck with Amber at allwhy you don't like cats.

Speaker 3 (01:03:32):
She doesn't scratch me.

Speaker 2 (01:03:34):
Hey, tough love, Amber get out of here, tough
love.

Speaker 3 (01:03:38):
Go girl Tough, love girl Amber, he's using his
fucking chair.

Speaker 2 (01:03:43):
He's like get out of here.
Sorry, you were saying no, Ididn't mean to laugh, I was just
laughing at her.

Speaker 3 (01:03:48):
I didn't realize she was behind me.

Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
Yeah, she was doing all this shit, so when you watch
this later, you're like okay,she just wants your love.

Speaker 3 (01:03:53):
Yeah, she does, amber , she just wants your love.
Go to your bed, baby.

Speaker 2 (01:04:00):
She's just a.

Speaker 3 (01:04:00):
This year, too, she has a baby so, anyways, what the
fuck was I saying?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, like I said, you havemultiple opportunities to cheat.
I could have cheated when mypartner was in here for so many
months, but I valued therelationship and I cared about

(01:04:24):
it and I knew if I did that andnever told him that that would
eat at my heart.
I could have easily, but Idon't have that.
That's not me at the end of theday.
That's just.
It's not who I am.
Regardless of the attention, theum, the satisfaction, the
orgasm, whatever pleasure it isthat you get out of that, I

(01:04:48):
don't have it in me.
So for you to say, oh, thisperson wasn't putting out, so I
got wandering eyes, um, and no,that's not an excuse.
You had it in in you, youwanted to cheat, you wanted
attention, you wanted somebodyelse, you wanted different pussy

(01:05:09):
, you wanted to do these things.
So do not hold me accountablefor not putting out, for not
doing what it is that you liked,because, sorry, I was alone for
a year without your penis.

Speaker 1 (01:05:29):
So hold on, so wait.
So was that the accusation?

Speaker 3 (01:05:32):
Yes.
That's what I'm talking about.
So when he came back yes, no,no, no, no when I found out he
cheated and when I broke up withhim, he told this man right
here that the reason he cheatedwas because I wasn't putting out
, and for my putting out he gotwandering eyes.

Speaker 2 (01:05:54):
Instead of communicating it to his partner.
I even asked him why don't youcommunicate it so?

Speaker 1 (01:05:58):
hold, on hold on let's just establish okay.
What's a healthy number ofquote unquote?
What's a healthy number of that, in your opinion?
What's a healthy number ofquote unquote?

Speaker 2 (01:06:05):
what's a healthy number of that?
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 (01:06:06):
In your opinion, what's a healthy number?

Speaker 2 (01:06:08):
Like, let's say, weekly monthly.

Speaker 1 (01:06:10):
How often do you do it?

Speaker 3 (01:06:11):
a week, weekly, monthly, yeah, it depends on
what you're going through as awoman and what the partner is
able to handle, Because therewasn't just oh, I don't want to
have sex with you.
There was a lot of lead up tothat that I won't say on here.

Speaker 1 (01:06:28):
Like interactions yeah, no, no, no, no, no.
Experiences no, no, no.

Speaker 3 (01:06:32):
I'm saying personally between him and I.
I will not say on here becauseI don't want to bash anybody or
bash him or myself, but therewas certain things that led up
to that, that led up to the factthat I didn't want to be
physical, and he understood that.

Speaker 1 (01:06:50):
It was energy.

Speaker 2 (01:06:51):
No no no, it was the shit that happened.
There was shit that happenedthat just turned her off to the
point where she didn't want to.

Speaker 3 (01:06:58):
And I will not say it .
Of course you don't have to ifyou don't want to, yeah, I will
not say it but there was thingsthat happened that he knows why,
and I expressed it and I toldhim and he didn't care it was.
I just want to get my dick wet.
I just want to do this and Idon't understand why you.

Speaker 1 (01:07:18):
So this is what I say .

Speaker 3 (01:07:27):
In a relationship, the other person.
There's going to come a timewhere they're not going to be
okay and you're going to have todeal with it, or vice versa.
So you, it's like, don't getinto a relationship if you're
not able to withstand thosekinds of challenges.

Speaker 1 (01:07:46):
Droughts.

Speaker 2 (01:07:47):
Droughts.
Basically, she's getting at it,she's not going to.
Okay, I get it, but Not onlydroughts but mental health.
No, no, no, Of course.

Speaker 3 (01:07:58):
Mental health.

Speaker 2 (01:07:59):
I kind of get what she's getting at too, bro,
because a part of you is kind oflike okay, you have needs as a
man, right, she has needs as awoman in this particular case
we're talking about droughts.

Speaker 3 (01:08:11):
It sucks for men, right, but it's like no, no for
sure through a drought but canyou expect your girl to ride
your?

Speaker 1 (01:08:19):
opportunities.

Speaker 2 (01:08:20):
Okay, that's fair, that's fair but I okay, so let
me ask you this then.

Speaker 1 (01:08:24):
But that's what is a woman?
So what is a woman becauselet's be honest.

Speaker 2 (01:08:26):
You're human, let's just be.
We're all adults here.
Let's be blunt.
You get horny.
What do you do with those urgesthen?

Speaker 3 (01:08:32):
Nothing.

Speaker 2 (01:08:35):
You don't no vibration.

Speaker 3 (01:08:46):
At least that's not cheating, is just not like
normal other girls, and I'verealized that.
No, I've realized that I'm notlike normal other girls.
But yes, you get a vibrator,you get that what's that thing,
the rose.

Speaker 2 (01:08:52):
Yeah, the rose, that's very popular.
Okay, without being too toorevealing, I want to be
respectful to you, so how didyou cope with it?
Then?
Was it that you're willing toshare?
Are you willing to share that?
If not, I'll move on to adifferent question.

Speaker 3 (01:09:03):
But well, I mean we sent each other videos okay yeah
, we send each other stuff youknow, that's not bad, that's
good.

Speaker 2 (01:09:10):
No, that helps that fuck.
Yeah, that's good.

Speaker 3 (01:09:11):
We send each other stuff, but it's just like what
I'm trying to say.
Is that other person sayingthat they were not putting out,
so I got wandering eyes yeah,it's kind of like I'm sorry, but
I didn't have anybody or any.
I mean, I did have like toys,you know, but I'm not.
What I'm trying to say is takeaccountability, because at one

(01:09:34):
point or another your partner'snot going to be all there, and
you're going to have to dealwith that which is going to go
my next.
My next statement no, no, nolike, just just, there's gonna
be trials and tribulations inyour relationship.
Meaning, meaning she's uh, hermom died, okay and she's

(01:09:55):
depressed, she lost her job andyou have to financially support
her um she.
I don't know what life fuckinghappens.
What life gives to you anything?
So I feel like in that moment,handle that if you can't handle
her having a a deficit, likelike a downgrade, like her being

(01:10:17):
with it turned off for a secondor or then.
Then don't be in a relationshipokay, I got something to say, or
vice versa as a woman a woman,if your dude is going through it
he may not want to be physical.
He may not want.
It's not even about thephysicality.
I would argue this it really is.

Speaker 2 (01:10:36):
Hold on.
He knows what I'm going to say.
Hold on, it's not even aboutthe physicality.
I know I was going to saysomething.
It it's not.

Speaker 3 (01:10:42):
It's just sometimes we're going through it and
you're not emotionally,physically available for your
partner okay I.
What I'm trying to say is youhave to learn how to deal with
it and not cheat on them I seewhat you're saying.
You have to be able to enjoycommunication, communicate with
your partner talk to yourpartner, say, hey, this and this

(01:11:04):
and this and this is going on.

Speaker 1 (01:11:06):
So that's where it goes with that okay, now let's
just say that, like you do, getto that point right where you
tell them this is what's what'sgoing on, what's the timeline,
yeah, how long?
How transparent are you aboutthat?
Is that also ambiguous?

Speaker 3 (01:11:22):
because let's say but what if you are being
transparent and you are sayingwhat's going on with?

Speaker 1 (01:11:28):
you?
No, I'm not saying that you'renot.
I'm saying what do you say?

Speaker 3 (01:11:31):
when you are being transparent, but what do you say
when you are?

Speaker 1 (01:11:36):
No, I'm saying.
So it's like, okay, I'm goingthrough this, Give me a month.

Speaker 2 (01:11:42):
Are you going to give them at least an idea?
Give me two.
Are you going to give them atleast an idea?
Because the thing is, theydon't say that.

Speaker 1 (01:11:46):
No one ever says hey, you know what, give me like.
Give me like three weeks to getmyself back together what the
hell is that?

Speaker 2 (01:11:50):
she's trying to entertain herself, like you know
what I'm saying, like no oneever says hey, like give me,
give me, like they don't give melike two weeks, give me a month
you know what they?
I need space.
What does that mean?
Space is so ambiguous.

Speaker 3 (01:12:07):
But there is no space .
You're talking to each other.
I'm not saying hey, give me amonth, give me a week.
You tell them what's going on,and then that person's trying
and you're trying as well.
That's what I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 (01:12:22):
Elaborate, as in saying, I'm sorry I'm talking
about, but I give you a few.
Can you elaborate on that?

Speaker 3 (01:12:25):
Elaborate, as in saying I'm sorry, I'm not horny,
okay, that's fine, because ofthis and this and that.
No, yeah, that's fine I don'twant to have sex because of this
and this and that.

Speaker 1 (01:12:39):
So what I'm asking?
Okay, so, what's your?
Okay?
So obviously, if you're in arelationship, let Okay, so
what's your?
Okay?
So obviously, if you're in arelationship, let's say that
you're in a marriage, right,You're with a partner.
Let's say that your partner isyou guys are frequently intimate
.
Let's say like, you guys arefrequently intimate.

Speaker 3 (01:12:51):
Yeah, of course you live together, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:12:53):
So what's your?
Are you just doing it by like,day by day, or are you giving
them a timeline?
Are you saying like oh, hey,give me a minute, or like hey
today I'm not in the mood, buttomorrow maybe.

Speaker 3 (01:13:05):
What are you saying?

Speaker 1 (01:13:11):
Well, I'm saying personally I'm saying I like
foreplay, I like this.
No, I get that, like the act, Iget that.
I'm saying the timeline whenwould you be down again?
Anytime, I'm not horny.

Speaker 2 (01:13:20):
Anytime.
That's not true, though,because sometimes you're not
emotionally available, like yousaid that's not true, though,
because sometimes you're notemotionally available, like you
said.

Speaker 3 (01:13:30):
I'm sorry, but to me anytime, just you have to get me
there.
So yeah, as a partner, you haveto get me there.

Speaker 1 (01:13:34):
So let's say like so let's, so let's say that there's
a moment, right, and you'relike, hey, like I'm not horny
right now, right, right, okay,and the guy's like fucking, like
I'm gonna just try it anywaysand that gets you there, that's
okay.

Speaker 3 (01:13:44):
As a guy, I think you have to know what gets your
woman there.

Speaker 1 (01:13:48):
No, let's say that you know all that, yeah, that
you know all that.
But she's expressing to youlike I'm not in the mood right
now, I can't relate to that,because the person I was with
did not know how to get me there, sheesh.

Speaker 2 (01:14:06):
I, yes, imagine it.
Daycare no, that's got to besomeone else, nothing.

Speaker 3 (01:14:09):
Let me just shut up.

Speaker 1 (01:14:11):
Did you order something DoorDash?
I don't think so.
I don't remember shit, bro,Tell me it's an.
Irs bro Shit.

Speaker 3 (01:14:21):
Who is it?
Ah shit, wait, there's two menin here, oh shit look who it is.

Speaker 1 (01:14:27):
Oh, it's your brother .
Oh my God, what is thisCamera's out?
What up man?
No, we are actually.

Speaker 2 (01:14:38):
Can you guys get out of here please?

Speaker 3 (01:14:40):
No, I'm not going to be able to talk comfortably if
you're here, you guys look, soflow right now.

Speaker 2 (01:14:43):
I love you guys to be able to talk comfortably if
you're here.

Speaker 3 (01:14:46):
You're looking good dude You're getting skinny.
Yeah, proud of you, bro, my bad.

Speaker 2 (01:14:51):
I didn't know you guys were coming.
No, no, no it's fine.

Speaker 3 (01:14:54):
it's fine, Hi, Adelia .
I'm at your daycare.
I'm supposed to be a bachelor.
I got an hour left to report.
I think what I was trying tosay was knowing your partner and
being patient and it's because,at the end of the day,
relationships have to sometimestake yourself out of the

(01:15:15):
equation.
Sometimes that person can onlyshow 80% and then you can only
show 20%, but then that personis willing to be like hey,
you're 20% right now, I'll show90%.

Speaker 2 (01:15:33):
Yeah, I see you showing up for each other.

Speaker 3 (01:15:37):
Showing up for each other, having that mutual
understanding.

Speaker 2 (01:15:41):
One thing I will say, even as a guy, because we tend
to forget that sometimes Likeman, I want my girl ready to go
Like after a long day, bro, if Iwant to.
Just sorry, I'm going to bevulgar when I say this.
It's not like you don't expectyour partner, because then when
you do have sex and you guys arenot on a good page, that's not
good sex.
It's like you ever had likeawkward sex with your partner.
Yes, you force it and you'relike afterwards you're like that

(01:16:03):
wasn't really enjoyable.

Speaker 1 (01:16:05):
He's like yes, she's in there With my partner.

Speaker 2 (01:16:08):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:16:09):
With the partner, with the partner.
No, okay, like I've definitelyhad a hard time.

Speaker 2 (01:16:12):
Well, you force it and you're like, oh fuck, that
wasn't that great.

Speaker 1 (01:16:15):
With a woman, right yeah, but like with my partner,
like a partner woman, I'm lockedin with.

Speaker 3 (01:16:20):
That's good, that's good I'm glad you have no
experience.
But Sal.

Speaker 1 (01:16:25):
I want to add To what he was saying.

Speaker 2 (01:16:26):
Go ahead when it comes to like.
I'm going to just Siphonthrough this later.

Speaker 3 (01:16:30):
He took his glasses off.

Speaker 2 (01:16:31):
He did.
I love it.
That's how you know.
And, by the way, Can I?
Say this real quick For therecord.
This I'm going to leave onFurious doesn't take.

Speaker 3 (01:16:42):
His glasses off.
That's a good thing.
No, it's not.
No, I didn't get it.
I didn't get it.
It was the comfortability, thevulnerability.

Speaker 2 (01:16:50):
There, you go the realness.
He felt that energy and he tookhis glasses off too.
It's the energy.
Hey, you got to furious.
Not a lot of people get tofurious, that's a good thing.
No, it's the energy.
One gets to me.
Aka, they're gonna have acontinuation off camera.
Who knows, they might go on adate.

Speaker 3 (01:17:10):
Who knows I'm gonna be that guy that says that oh,
my god, oh, can I tell yousomething?
For me coming on here andtalking about anything.
Yeah, it was really really hard.

Speaker 2 (01:17:20):
It's really I'm glad you're here, that this is me
being vulnerable.

Speaker 3 (01:17:22):
I don't understand that this is me being vulnerable
.

Speaker 1 (01:17:25):
I don't know you.

Speaker 3 (01:17:26):
This is my first time meeting you, that's true, and I
talked to you, but you made mefeel comfortable, so I like your
energy, I like your vibe and Ithink you picked a good co-host.
I appreciate that Because hecan talk to people he can.
I've known you for a while.
You are my brother.
You known you for a while.

(01:17:48):
You are my brother, you arefamily I fucking love you
absolutely.

Speaker 2 (01:17:50):
I, I, I will literally murder for you.
I would too.

Speaker 3 (01:17:51):
That's how much I love you.
That's mutual, but um, that'sdeep yeah, that's deep.
That's deep, bro, I believe hertoo, because I would do the
same for her.
No, I asked ashley.
I was like would you, would youmurder for me?
She's like heck.

Speaker 1 (01:18:01):
No, I'm like nah, she's not that deep right there,
she's's like not that deep.

Speaker 2 (01:18:05):
I love her.

Speaker 3 (01:18:07):
She loves me, but she's not going to go to jail
for me.

Speaker 2 (01:18:10):
She's like I can't go to prison for you, I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (01:18:13):
I would go to prison for her, but she's not going to
go to prison for me.

Speaker 2 (01:18:16):
Fucking.

Speaker 1 (01:18:17):
A bro, that's some bullshit, it's fine.

Speaker 3 (01:18:21):
It's fine.
Yeah, let's hear from youraspect.

Speaker 1 (01:18:24):
I mean just to touch on, like what he was saying
about you're a gentle soul.
Yeah, I feel it, he is.
He's very I feel it.
It's definitely been developed.
You know, I wasn't always likethis.

Speaker 3 (01:18:32):
You know, I used to be very for sure it comes with a
lot of trauma a lot of growth.

Speaker 2 (01:18:37):
Wait before we do that, though, before you guys
get into that that's for Ashley.
That's for my damn sister.
Not wanting to fucking take abullet for Julia, She'd do it
for you.
Gosh damn it.

Speaker 3 (01:18:49):
Hey, that Cassie song you been waiting for so long
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:18:53):
Yep, go ahead, I'm passing the mic back over to
Furious Go ahead.

Speaker 3 (01:19:02):
What's up with these tattoos?

Speaker 2 (01:19:04):
Wait a minute, hold on.

Speaker 3 (01:19:06):
Take your shirt off.
Let's see it.
Let's see it.
What's up with these tattoos?
Wait?

Speaker 2 (01:19:08):
a minute.
Hold on.

Speaker 3 (01:19:08):
That was my.
Take your shirt off.
Let's see it.
Let's see it.
What's under?

Speaker 2 (01:19:11):
there.

Speaker 3 (01:19:12):
Hey, you're single, come on.

Speaker 2 (01:19:15):
You're single, he's single.

Speaker 3 (01:19:16):
Let's put it out for these ladies.

Speaker 1 (01:19:19):
What is under that shirt?

Speaker 3 (01:19:25):
Let's see it.

Speaker 2 (01:19:29):
Save that for your off camera.
Julia, go with this man to thebar later.
Okay, go somewhere else withthat.
Okay, what?
Okay, lil Jon.

Speaker 1 (01:19:47):
With him proposing right, like, just just like
touching on that.
Sometimes you want to be at acertain state in life to where
you can like support that.
You don't want to go intosomething having to catch up
versus having having it alreadythere.
It's better to have it and notneed it than to need it and not
have it.
So, as a man, man like you wantto have your ducks in a row.

(01:20:09):
You don't want to, just like.
I know women are morespontaneous right?
Oh, let's go here, let's go,let's do this, let's do that.
Right, some men, some men, arelike that too, right, but we all
know like what the usualoutcome of that is.
Okay, like there is no, um,instant gratification.
Like, yeah, you can haveinstant gratification, but it
comes at a cost, right, yeah, sowhen it comes to something like
this, it's thought out.
Usually, dudes want to thinkthis out because they want to be

(01:20:29):
sure of their investment too.
It's not just, it's more oflike a fourfold thing.
Because you have investment,you have kids involved, you have
finances involved, you got allkinds of shit right.
So you want to have your shitin line.
Because you don do, we don't,we don't want to do things over
and over again.
No, people are saying we wantthings to be good straight on

(01:20:51):
through, cool, right.
Of course, you're going to haveyour discrepancies where people
step out and do all that kindof shit, right, but on average,
dudes want to.
You know they want to have ashirt thing as well, right.
Just as a woman want to have.
You know, like certainty.
Dudes want to have a sure thingas well, right.
Just as a woman want to have,you know, like certainty, dudes
want to have that too, yeah,especially when it comes to kids
.
It's like that's even a biggeraspect.

Speaker 3 (01:21:11):
So it's like okay if we have kids.
What is more of a sure thingthan this person having your
children?

Speaker 1 (01:21:19):
So you have two of them.
Okay, so think about this.
Right, let's say you have.
Okay, let's say you have twokids.
Right, let's say you have twokids and you're with someone who
is toxic.
Right, let's say they're notthe person for you, but but for
that individual.
They like sleeping with thatperson yeah, like that.
In this case she's not toxic, ofcourse she just wants in that
in that case, if that person is,if for the, for that dude, then

(01:21:40):
it's gonna happen.
Yeah, it's gonna happen.
It's not that it, oh, it shouldhappen, and you know the factor
now.
So there's no more questionmark, like I'm telling you a
woman who is um pleasant to bearound is not shelby oh god I
don't know who's pleasant to bearound?
who who just checks all thoseboxes?
When it comes to that is notgoing to be a problem.

(01:22:02):
It's not going to be a problemright now.
The thing is.
The thing is is that there'sdifferent nuances in
relationships that make that itwill make something.
That's not a problem.
It is a problem.
You know what.
I'm saying so you have thingswhere like okay, like like how
we were talking about earlier,if they're not in the mood for
however long, whateverdiscrepancy in the rhythm, and

(01:22:23):
it's like okay, so what do I do?

Speaker 3 (01:22:24):
No, I get what you're saying.

Speaker 1 (01:22:25):
You know, so it's just relationships are
complicated because peopleprioritize different things.

Speaker 2 (01:22:31):
You know that.

Speaker 3 (01:22:32):
Yes, sometimes we fucking prioritize sex, we
prioritize provisions.
Yes, quality time, and I thinkthis is when it comes to show,
like, who you're in arelationship with and who you
want to fuck with and who youwant that person to be with,
because, at the end of the day,it's it's what you want.

(01:22:52):
Yeah, you have to choose wisely, like and that's what I'm
saying and that's whyrelationship fails because
people don't choose wisely.

Speaker 2 (01:23:01):
No, I agree, and I don't second guess my no, of
course exactly they go off of.
Oh, my god, this person ismaking me feel so good when I
come in them and it's just likethat's not the gaze, like
there's more of a relationshipthat's built than that and even
if they're pretty faced with anice body, that's not gonna not
enough, that's not gonna last I,I will come out here and say

(01:23:22):
this, that's what happened to melike I'm gonna be vulnerable
because I don't mind it.

Speaker 3 (01:23:28):
I don't mind it, but I chose somebody who made me
feel good at one point oranother, and then they stopped
making me feel good, and then Ihad to deal with their baggage.
But I had baggage too.
We all have a certain thing.
But it's up to you to choosethe right person that can deal

(01:23:49):
with that, that can handle that,that can handle you or can
handle whatever obstacle or achallenge.
Because that's whatrelationships happen.
It's never linear, it's neverconstant.
It's an up and down, likesometimes, as human beings, we
fuck up and and we feel acertain type of way.

(01:24:10):
And it's up to your partner whoyou choose, who you choose that
can handle you.
If they can't handle you, thenyou move on.
Or if you can't handle them,then you move on.
If you see, hey, there's toomany different patterns, there's
all this, there's this, there'sblah, blah, blah, then you move

(01:24:33):
on and then you create arelationship with that person.
That's what dating is right.
Yeah, Getting into the groove ofthat.

Speaker 1 (01:24:41):
Now question when we're talking about handle, are
we talking about tolerate or arewe talking about deal with?

Speaker 3 (01:24:47):
I'm talking about everything tolerate deal with
when you're in a relationship.
You have to hey, maybe you getlazy sometimes and I have to
deal with that yeah or maybe youget too angry sometimes and I
have to deal with that.
Or maybe I get angry too muchand you have to deal with that.

Speaker 1 (01:25:08):
In those instances, do you check that person or do
you let them experience that?

Speaker 3 (01:25:13):
That's where communication comes into line
baby.

Speaker 1 (01:25:16):
That's where communication comes into line
baby.

Speaker 3 (01:25:19):
That's where openness and vulnerability and
emotionally being available andall that stuff comes into play,
because we have to step asidefrom all that and be like, hey,
I love you, but you're kind offucking being a bitch or hey, or

(01:25:39):
hey I love you, but you're kindof fucking being a dick.
How can we um compromise?
How can we compromise?

Speaker 1 (01:25:49):
how how?

Speaker 2 (01:25:49):
how can we come into line, hey, if this shit pisses
you off, or that, but in orderfor that to be a thing that the
party has to be emotionallymature emotionally available and
wise, and all these and thatgoes for the woman too, because
a lot of the times it goes forboth parties.

Speaker 3 (01:26:06):
Baby and this, hold on.

Speaker 2 (01:26:07):
No, you're right, and I think this is a great time to
transition over intoaccountability, okay, so I think
everybody here at this tablehas dealt with this right, in
particular, with females too,like accountability, I've
noticed, and most men havenoticed I'm not saying that
sometimes men are guilty of thisshit too.

Speaker 3 (01:26:24):
Yeah, women can take accountability.
I get it.
You just don't know this.
No, I know.

Speaker 2 (01:26:28):
Most of them don't Most of them don't even want to.

Speaker 3 (01:26:30):
No, I know.

Speaker 2 (01:26:31):
Most of them don't.
They don't do any wrong, butthat's when you leave them and
you don't fuck with them anymore, even if they have good pussy,
whatever it them, because youseem like someone and I say this
because I know julia seems likea person that you take
accountability, and earlier inthe podcast you even used an
example where you tookaccountability and you flat out

(01:26:52):
said it like hey, it's about youbeing like you know what I was
a piece of shit, remember.
You said that earlier.
That's taking accountability.
I'm sure furious would evenagree.
That's rare in a female, in thefemale genre of things.
They don't really do that often.
They don't.
A lot of them don't want totake that type of response For
you to do that.
I don't want to say you're anoutlier, but it's a blessing,

(01:27:12):
right, it's a nice refresher tosee that that exists in the
female psyche.

Speaker 3 (01:27:17):
It took therapy.

Speaker 2 (01:27:20):
Damn it took self-reflection.
Let me ask you this it tookaccountability.
For you to accept thataccountability.
Let me ask you this then so whydo you think women are just
like that?
Naturally, then, could youanswer.
I'm not saying speaking for allwomen, but in your experience
as a woman, why do you thinkwomen are like that?

Speaker 3 (01:27:38):
Because they don't want to face themselves.

Speaker 1 (01:27:40):
Why though?
But men don't want to facethemselves either.

Speaker 3 (01:27:46):
So it's a both.
Thing.
Some don't.

Speaker 1 (01:27:49):
That's fair, but the thing is, we're different.
So, from your perspective, whydo you think that women don't?

Speaker 3 (01:27:53):
Because it's hard to be vulnerable.

Speaker 2 (01:27:57):
Besides that, yeah, but if you're with somebody that
you claim to love and you wantchildren with and marry one day,
why can't you be with thatperson?

Speaker 1 (01:28:04):
Because it's hard to be vulnerable for anybody?
Yes, okay, I will say this Isit hard to be judged?

Speaker 3 (01:28:09):
No, I will say this If you grew up in a toxic
household, that's all you know,right?
You don't know kindness, youdon't know how to speak to
somebody gently, right?
So if you grew up in a toxichousehold, you're, you are toxic
, you don't know how to talk tosomebody.

Speaker 2 (01:28:28):
nice that is fair action.
That's a good point.
That's a good point, you don'tknow, because you grew up in
this.
So you're a product of yourenvironment.
You're a product to yourenvironment.
That's true.

Speaker 3 (01:28:39):
And it sucks.
But it takes a certain type ofperson to grow out of that and
it takes a certain type ofperson to be like, hey, I don't
want to keep going down this way, generationally, family-wise,
generationally.
I don't want to keep going downthis way.
I don't want to keep makingthese mistakes.

(01:29:00):
I don't want to keep gettingknocked up at 17.
I want to keep getting, um,fatherless or motherless or all
these things.
I don't want to.
Okay, from my perspective, Ican only speak on mine.
Yeah, I grew up veryemotionally unavailable.
My dad was an alcoholic.

(01:29:22):
My mom was depressed her wholelife.
I didn't have parents that werethere for me emotionally.
They were there physically, butthey weren't there.
There's a difference.
So I had to learn how tocommunicate with relationships
and that's why I think I kind ofhad fucked up relationships,

(01:29:44):
because I picked them wrong,because that was my product of
development, yeah, what you knew.

Speaker 1 (01:29:50):
That was what I knew.

Speaker 3 (01:29:52):
I knew people that were, and I've said this before.
I say it to my friends jokingly.
I say I attract emotionallyunavailable men with mommy
issues.

Speaker 2 (01:30:01):
Okay, I'm going to say it straight up With mommy
issues, there was one time whereshe told me too, bro, I told
you she did.

Speaker 3 (01:30:19):
She's like I attract trash men.
It was before, but I'm growingout of it now.
But yes, I attractedemotionally unavailable men with
mommy issues because I was sonurturing and caring, because I
didn't get that so it's like youcould either be a like
cold-hearted piece of shit, oryou could be the, or either be
too loving, it's it's.
It's too loving.
What's too loving, what's tooloving, is um too loving, like

(01:30:42):
some dudes really love.

Speaker 1 (01:30:43):
Yeah, no thanks, that's a good question.
It's question.

Speaker 3 (01:30:45):
I'll tell you this Too loving is, you stop
respecting yourself and you giveeverything to that person.
Yeah, you give everything tothat person.
Fuck you, fuck your hopes anddreams, fuck your adventures,
fuck everything, fuck yourinsecurities, everything.

(01:31:07):
You give everything you have tothat person because you love
them, and that, for me, was atrauma response and that that's
what I did, and that person tookadvantage of it, because I
don't think they knew any better.

Speaker 1 (01:31:22):
I'm gonna say that don't give them an excuse I'm
not giving them an excuse.

Speaker 3 (01:31:27):
I'm not trying to give them an excuse, but
psychologically, now that I'm intherapy, I'm looking at it To
them.
I'm getting what I want.
I'm getting the love that Inever had, but I want it's
selfish.

Speaker 1 (01:31:47):
In my opinion, that's not how it's articulated in the
mind, maybe off the first time,the first time when it comes to
breaking the ice, to going intothat avenue, when it's like,
okay, I don't feel validated,I'm going to go out and find it
that first time.
Yes, that's the first and lasttime of you having the
justification Okay, I'm doingthis for me.

(01:32:09):
After that it's a habit, afterthat it's a pattern.

Speaker 3 (01:32:12):
That's what I'm saying.
You know what I'm saying Atthat point, it's you.

Speaker 1 (01:32:16):
That's the addiction.

Speaker 3 (01:32:17):
Yeah, that's you, it's no more about.

Speaker 1 (01:32:19):
Oh, I have this void and everything like that.

Speaker 3 (01:32:21):
And that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (01:32:35):
For somebody cheating .

Speaker 3 (01:32:36):
It has nothing to do with you and everything
everything to do with them, ofcourse, because at that point
that's where it lies, that'strue.
I mean it lies, I mean it mayhave an um, of course.
Oh, hey, I'm not putting out.

Speaker 1 (01:32:41):
But why am I putting?

Speaker 2 (01:32:41):
out yeah, but why am I not fucking you?

Speaker 3 (01:32:43):
why?
Why, why so?
Are we communicating?
Are we talking about the factthat we're not having sex?
Are are you being vulnerableand I am I being vulnerable?

Speaker 2 (01:32:53):
yeah, tough questions it's.

Speaker 3 (01:32:55):
It takes two to tango .

Speaker 2 (01:32:57):
It takes two to tango true, because you can't just
expect you to be down the fuckwhen you guys are in a bad spot.
So with that you'll have badsex and result.
Let's be honest.

Speaker 1 (01:33:05):
So with that, investigation, right, depending
on whatever answer that you get.
Like oh, I'm just not into you,or whatever.
Like right, let's say it'sbecause of like some tattoos or
some shit.
Right, does a guy get tattoos?

Speaker 3 (01:33:16):
No, that's when you leave them and you get with
somebody that doesn't havetattoos.
That's what I.
It takes, communication ittakes vulnerability.

Speaker 1 (01:33:30):
Honest communication, because sometimes, men or women
, they're going to tell you thestuff that they think you need
to hear, but the stuff that youreally need to hear they don't
tell you.

Speaker 3 (01:33:38):
Can I tell you something?
I'm going to be vulnerableagain.

Speaker 2 (01:33:42):
Do it please.

Speaker 3 (01:33:43):
I was dating a 42-year-old man because I like
older men.

Speaker 2 (01:33:49):
I've always liked older men More mature.

Speaker 1 (01:33:51):
Yeah, more mature.

Speaker 3 (01:33:51):
You have your reason for it, but I've learned that
older men can still be veryimmature, because they don't
know how to communicate.

Speaker 2 (01:33:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:34:01):
So we were dating for like a month and a half and it
was going great.
Like I didn't want to date, Ididn't want to go out with
anybody.
His father told me about hisson and then he was like you're
a really good woman, my sonneeds a good woman.
And I was just like no, I don'twant to take care of anybody.
He's just like no, no, no, comeon.
He was very persistent, blah,blah, blah.

(01:34:29):
Because he saw that I cooked thekids pancakes and like I would
make the kids like breakfast andstuff like that.
So he had kids like it?

Speaker 2 (01:34:32):
no, well it was his son.
Okay, it was his son, so he wasjust like oh, his son, yeah,
okay he was like my son needs agood woman and you're a good
woman like to be their motheralmost yeah, well, no, not a
mother, but just like a goodwoman.

Speaker 3 (01:34:42):
And I'm just like no, I'm not trying to fucking take
care of anybody or anybody'skids, even though I love kids.

Speaker 2 (01:34:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:34:48):
But OK, so I went out with him.
It went great for like a month.
It was super good.
He was 42.
So it was like a 12 yeardifferent.

Speaker 1 (01:34:59):
I'm 30.
He's 42.

Speaker 3 (01:35:01):
So 12 years difference.
And it was great.
It went amazing.
And then out of nowhere hechanged up.
Out of nowhere.
It was like from one day toanother he changed up and I
didn't know why.
I tried communicating with himso I went on a whole ass date
with him.
He was acting weird.
Then when we went back home tohis house, he was still acting

(01:35:24):
weird.

Speaker 1 (01:35:25):
Acting weird.
In what way Acting?

Speaker 3 (01:35:28):
weird like okay, guy was like becoming so
affectionate towards me so like,like it's not weird, no, no no,
I loved it.
He was being more affectionatethan than before like he was
like oh yeah, like let's go,okay, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:35:45):
like, for example I can get into you yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:35:48):
I knew his dad and I was like but his dad retired, he
was a substitute teacher.
So I was like, hey, like I missyour dad, but I get why he's
not working anymore, because thetax, blah, blah.
He's like, well, let's go visitthem.
And I'm like, visit who?
And he was like whole shift andhe was being more affectionate,

(01:36:18):
holding me, more kissy, moreeverything.
I mean you guys know how it is.

Speaker 1 (01:36:22):
I don't want to, of course, when you're in.
Was that weird for you?

Speaker 3 (01:36:26):
no, I, I loved it.

Speaker 1 (01:36:27):
Okay.
So when did it start turningtowards like okay, well, I went
to go okay.

Speaker 3 (01:36:31):
Mind you, I was dealing with my grandma's
funeral.
My grandma's funeral was on aFriday and I had that Tuesday
off.
So I was just like, okay, Ineed to get away from my family,
because it was really hard.
I was planning the funeral, Iwas planning everything.
It was becoming really, reallyhard.
And he knew that I had told himall that.
So I went to go see him on thatTuesday because I said, hey, I

(01:36:55):
only have Tuesday off, let'shang out.
And then he was yawning, heseemed bored, Wow, and
everything like.
And then he hadn't done thatbefore at all At all.

Speaker 1 (01:37:06):
Does he work a long job?
Uh, he was on spring break,he's a teacher I see, yeah, so
he was on spring break was itthe last day of, like the start
of spring?
No, it was like it was thesecond day of spring break, so
he had a rest the whole time I'mnot really.

Speaker 3 (01:37:22):
I'm not trying to call anybody out, I'm really not
, I'm just saying it was it wasweird, yeah, he had.
We like there was never aconversation that went dry with
us.
We were very vulnerable.
We were very like talking.
I told him about my grandma.
He told me about how herecently started going to
therapy.
We had deep conversations.
He had a bad divorce.

(01:37:42):
He had three children.
Like he had three girls like we.
We talked like it wasn't likesuperficial, it wasn't like oh,
let's just fuck um, like no, itwas deep conversations and then
out of nowhere it went weird andI called him out on it and like
we went to dinner and then Iwas like he's acting weird and

(01:38:03):
he seems bored how was he actingweird?
Like acting weird, as in in nottalking, like it was like
awkward pauses.

Speaker 2 (01:38:12):
Yeah, and it felt one-sided.

Speaker 1 (01:38:14):
What were you guys talking about?

Speaker 3 (01:38:15):
Well, okay, so before then it was just really good
conversation, like school work,like he was a teacher, I was a
paraeducator, so we never hadnothing to talk about the
conversation flowed.

Speaker 1 (01:38:31):
Did they ever shift to something else?

Speaker 3 (01:38:33):
no, no, I mean we, yeah, we shift to therapy and
like shift to like how he hadstopped therapy.
But then he went back, and thenhe was going back to the gym
and then I would send himpictures of me at the gym and he
was just like, yeah, you'remotivating me so like on that
day, what did you guys talkabout?
Nothing, I was literally.

(01:38:55):
The conversation was so harddull.

Speaker 1 (01:38:57):
Okay, it was so dull the day before.
What did you guys talk about?

Speaker 3 (01:39:01):
there was no day before it was um that it was so
okay so the last time that y'allmet or y'all spoke to each
other, what did y'all talk about?
My grandma, his kids, how he'shandling life, how he's handling
work, how he's handling therapy?
Like I said, he was being soaffectionate and he wanted me to

(01:39:22):
go over his parents' house andmeet his mom and stuff like that
.

Speaker 2 (01:39:26):
That's a big deal.
I see why you're confused.
Now, I'd be fucking confusedtoo, and he was being so much
more affectionate he was kissingme more.

Speaker 3 (01:39:33):
He was holding me more, holding my hand more.
I mean, you know how it goes.

Speaker 2 (01:39:37):
Yeah, of course, when you're really feeling somebody.

Speaker 3 (01:39:39):
You know what you do right.

Speaker 2 (01:39:40):
Yeah, no, no, no Right.

Speaker 3 (01:39:41):
Like when you're feeling a girl, and it was just
like the next day it was justlike completely pulled back, and
I was just like no.

Speaker 2 (01:39:48):
What the fuck's going on here?
Like what's going on, and Iconfronted him.
I called him up, but not in abad way.

Speaker 3 (01:39:53):
I literally said hey, did something happen, are you?
Okay, like are your kids?
Okay, what's?

Speaker 2 (01:40:00):
going on with you.

Speaker 3 (01:40:00):
Like is your ex-wife?
Okay, Mind you, his ex-wife.
He divorced her four years ago,but it was a really, really bad
divorce.

Speaker 2 (01:40:08):
I see.

Speaker 3 (01:40:10):
So I don't know.
To me, all I got from it isthat he was very emotional,
available, but I wantedsomething casual.
We never had talked about it.
I was going to talk to himabout it because my grandma
passed away in March which iswhen I was seeing him.

Speaker 2 (01:40:25):
So my therapist was like, okay, when you get the
chance, talk to him about itafter the funeral, after
everything of course but hestarted acting weird before then
, so I was just like I'm notgonna put his business out there
, but he can relate to asituation where furious had a
difficult situation having himin his life and he had a female

(01:40:45):
in that position.
That didn't really show whatshe just said, or his therapist
advised her.
You know he just went through aloss.

Speaker 1 (01:40:52):
Right A funeral.

Speaker 2 (01:40:54):
You see what I'm saying.
Wait, let him process it andthen talk to him.
See, that was brilliant.

Speaker 3 (01:40:59):
Well, that's what my therapist told me.
He dealt with someone thatdidn't do that.
Remember that, chris?
Yeah, my therapist was like hey, just give it a minute.
Hey, just give it a minute.

Speaker 2 (01:41:06):
But he started acting weird before I even was able to
have that kind of conversationBefore you could even talk with
him.
But you gave him the space,though.

Speaker 3 (01:41:12):
Oh, I gave him the space.
Oh of course I was just like,hey, he gave me a little bit of
an attitude.
He was just like I'm justtrying to look for a movie
Because he thought he was goingto get late that night.
He really thought he was gonnaget late because he took me to
dinner even though he was actingweird.
So it was completely weird andeven though he wasn't trying to

(01:41:33):
like, like, keep theconversation going.
I'm sorry, but as a person, youknow when somebody's being
weird, of course, like you knowwhen somebody's losing interest
right, you feel it so that'swhat it was.
He was losing interest, but beBe like hey, you know what?
Because he brought up my agetwice, because he was 42 and I'm

(01:41:55):
30.

Speaker 2 (01:41:56):
What's that got to do with anything?

Speaker 3 (01:41:57):
Well, he brought up my age twice.

Speaker 2 (01:41:58):
It's a plus, bro, that she's willing to be with
you when you're older than her.
I'm just saying I don't know,but maybe he didn't view it as
that, maybe he didn't view it asthat way.

Speaker 3 (01:42:07):
So I was just like hey, like are you sure you're
okay?
Blah, blah, blah.
And he didn't give me that,like he wasn't honest.
So I was like, okay, well, youdon't want to, I'm just going to
get going.

Speaker 2 (01:42:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:42:17):
I'm bye Because you felt awkward yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:42:18):
I left.
I left and and that was inMarch.

Speaker 2 (01:42:25):
Like end of March.

Speaker 3 (01:42:26):
So obviously something was going on so
obviously something was up,because it's what May.

Speaker 1 (01:42:33):
And.
I haven't heard from him sinceI will say one nuance about us
dudes is just like sex is alwayson the table.
Yep, of course.

Speaker 2 (01:42:42):
Anytime you meet with us.

Speaker 1 (01:42:43):
Like any date, it's like okay, like if we can get it
.
Okay.
It's any date, it's like okay,like if we can get it.
Okay.
You know I'm saying it's notlike you know, it's just yeah,
no for sure he was probablyusing me, and that's fine,
because I'm not saying he'susing no, it was well, it was
casual for me too.
Yeah, I'm just saying that, youknow, it's in his, in our heads
it's like, okay, like if ithappens, it happens, you know,
I'm saying it's not where it's.

Speaker 3 (01:43:05):
It's not, it's not necessarily expected, but we're
not going to turn it down yeah,I mean so it just depends yeah,
I mean it's all good, likethere's no bad blood, obviously,
but, um, like that was myexperience after dating, after
like six years, like six, no,well, six years, and then I

(01:43:26):
stayed.
I stayed single that whole year, so seven years, technically
seven years without talking tosomebody new or anything like
that.
So it's just like do I reallywant to date, do I really want
to do this?
And I'm good, I'm, I'm likesolid being single, like right
now you're good, oh fuck, yeah,I think it's.

(01:43:47):
It's not even funny, how good Isolid being single Like right
now you're good, oh fuck.
Yeah, I think it's not evenfunny how good I'm being single.

Speaker 1 (01:43:53):
Just focus on, you know, healing.

Speaker 3 (01:43:54):
I know you say you're already healed, but I think
sometimes it takes a long timeto heal.

Speaker 1 (01:43:58):
Oh yeah, for sure you know what I'm saying, because
it's like, for sure.

Speaker 3 (01:44:00):
I think, like this person put me off, like I was
just like if he's as funny asyou are, if he's as cool as you
are, then let's do it.
But no, dude, I'm fine To me atthis point.

Speaker 1 (01:44:20):
Wait, so his father was funnier than his son.

Speaker 3 (01:44:22):
His father was funny.

Speaker 1 (01:44:24):
That means so you're into older guys.

Speaker 3 (01:44:26):
I'm into older guys.

Speaker 1 (01:44:28):
Well, I told him that no, I told him.

Speaker 3 (01:44:30):
Well, I wasn't into his father no, I know that.

Speaker 1 (01:44:32):
But I'm saying like the energy, like you like, no, I
like the maturity.

Speaker 3 (01:44:36):
Oh heck yeah, I've always liked older guys, but I
was never like I felt like.
When I was younger I was like Ican't attract that because I'm
little.
But like now I'm just like ohno, I want an older guy, right,
yeah, because they've beenthrough life.

Speaker 1 (01:44:52):
But yeah, and I'm not like that.
Like older men know, of course,yeah know what they want
because they've already beenthrough it.
So it's like men are morelogical when it comes to like
that type of stuff.
Like no dude wants to repeat amistake most dudes, I'm not
saying no, most dudes, not thisguy yeah, they don't want to.
You know, do the same mistaketwice.
You know, I'm saying they wantto have them saying they make
their mistakes.

Speaker 3 (01:45:12):
Yeah, and they're like okay yeah you know, on and
forward yeah, but I learned thatlike, um, no matter how old you
are, you could still bementally mature, immature.
Hell yeah, heck yeah like Idated a guy four years younger
than me and then this is whathappened.
And then I dated a guy 12 yearsolder than me and then he still

(01:45:33):
doesn't know how to communicate.
Because I called him out I said, hey, what's going on?
Well, can we talk like didsomething happen?
He's like no, no, no, no.
I'm like okay.
And then I left and then heclearly like ghosted me pretty
much and like he didn't have tobecause it was nothing serious.

Speaker 1 (01:45:51):
So clearly something was going on it could be as
little as him, just not knowinghow to communicate.
Because you don't want toalways go to that something's
happening, just because you justnever know.
Some dudes just get ahead ofthemselves.

Speaker 3 (01:46:06):
I'm just thinking he was really hurt in his past and
he doesn't.

Speaker 1 (01:46:10):
That's possible.

Speaker 3 (01:46:13):
Or he doesn't know how to communicate.
It's fine.

Speaker 1 (01:46:15):
It's possible, but it's like at that age or he saw
me as too little.

Speaker 3 (01:46:20):
He saw me like I looked too young.

Speaker 2 (01:46:22):
Yeah, but he knew that from the start though.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm sorry, but he dated me fora month and a half yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:46:30):
So he knew what I look like.
So why call me out and sayinglike oh yeah, I like how you
look.
You look really pretty.
You look 18.
He's a high school teacher.
That's a weird comment, right,yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:46:42):
yeah, a little bit, yeah, for sure, yeah, yeah, when
you put it that way, he waslike you look like you're 18 and
I'm just like what the fuck?

Speaker 3 (01:46:55):
why would you make that comment, bro?
I'm like, excuse me, but that'snot a compliment.
No, um you're a high schoolteacher, so I'm not.
I didn't take it as pedophilyor anything like that, but I was
just like, why would you saythat?

Speaker 2 (01:47:05):
that's's true.

Speaker 3 (01:47:05):
Unnecessary comment Either you're projecting or you
feel like I look too young soyou can't continue this
relationship.
But if you can't, just behonest, Just fucking say it for
what it is.
Just say hey, this isn'tworking out.
It was nice to meet you.
Bye.
At least give me some type ofclosure, and then I would have

(01:47:26):
been like this Great meeting you, she you some type of closure,
and then I would have been likethis Great meeting you.
She's saying at least closure,goodbye.

Speaker 1 (01:47:31):
The thing is like some dudes, they don't want to,
they know what they got, youknow, and it's like why would I
want to be like that?

Speaker 2 (01:47:39):
Sorry For Jess.
Some people are just like that.
That's just how it is,naturally.
You know what?

Speaker 1 (01:47:44):
I'm saying, yeah, naturally, yeah, yeah, with,
with, with women too, like, okay, like, this guy has everything,
but this, it's not worth justthrowing it away.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
And and and it's fucked up, butthat's that's, that's the,
that's the duplicity when itcomes to relationships.
Right, people are just.
They're not.

Speaker 3 (01:48:00):
They're mostly transparent, but not all the way
oh yeah, for sure he wasn'ttransparent at all I think I
think what he was good at wasbeing like let's have sex, let's
go out and then let's kind ofhang out.
But when it came to theemotional aspect of it, I don't
think he knew how to handle that.
I don't think so either.
Yeah, but because he was sohurt, and that's okay, that's

(01:48:23):
okay.

Speaker 2 (01:48:24):
Well, if that's the case, then be real about it, at
least up front.
No, but it's okay, okay.
Well, if that's the case, thenbe real about it at least up
front no, but it's okay.

Speaker 3 (01:48:28):
But that's when you learn your self-worth and that's
when you walk away and you say,hey, it was bye, it was fun,
but cool.
This was great, but bye.

Speaker 1 (01:48:39):
You're dealing with a .
The reason why it's like that,I think, is because it's
literally like a market.
It's like a stock market.
People got their investment.

Speaker 2 (01:48:49):
That's the way to put it.
No, it's true.
I feel you.

Speaker 1 (01:48:52):
It might do this one day.
I think that's the mentalitysometimes.

Speaker 2 (01:48:56):
Yeah, and then sometimes it doesn't pan out the
way they think I mean you guysare men.

Speaker 3 (01:49:00):
What do you?

Speaker 2 (01:49:00):
think, Because why do people Okay?

Speaker 3 (01:49:01):
hold on, you're 42.
He's like damn, I got hated.
Hold on, hold on, you're 42.

Speaker 2 (01:49:12):
I didn't use my life.
You meet a 30-year-old.

Speaker 3 (01:49:15):
I'm 30.
You meet me right now.
What do you think?
Like we had great conversations, like we talked deeply, as in,
like therapy, therapy, as inchildren, I ask, I always ask
him about his kids, are theyokay?

Speaker 1 (01:49:32):
blah, blah, what do you want out of life?
What do you want out of life?
As a 30 year old woman.

Speaker 3 (01:49:38):
What do you want out of life as a 42 year old?

Speaker 1 (01:49:41):
wouldn't you?

Speaker 2 (01:49:41):
say that wouldn't, wouldn't wouldn't you be able?
To communicate, it does go bothways.
But what I'm saying like itdoes go both ways if I does go
both ways, if I'm saying I wanta family, let's say I already
have three kids, but wouldn'tyou put that out there to begin
with?

Speaker 1 (01:49:56):
I mean you should.

Speaker 3 (01:49:57):
You should right.

Speaker 1 (01:49:58):
You should, but not everyone does.
But there's reasons to that.
You know what I'm saying, notthat they're relevant or not,
but some people will, somepeople won't.
But I think ideally, relevantor not, but you know, some
people will, some people won't,right?
But, and I think I ideally theperson should put it out there
like hey, like I want to have afamily, like, let's say, I
already have three or four kids,right, I still want to have
more right I don't mind havingstarting a new family and

(01:50:20):
growing my family, right, sothere can be that too.
But you have some people nowwhere there's there's the norm,
right, there's what is, and thenthere's their, then there's the
norm, right, there's what is,and then there's their
perception, and sometimes theycan't break out of that shit.
They want to have this, butthey want to have this too.
They want to have bits of thisbut bits of this.
They don't want to have bothtogether, they want to just I

(01:50:44):
don't know what about you.

Speaker 3 (01:50:45):
It's kind of fucked up.
You're 42, you're single, youhave your two little girls and
you're single.
You divorced or you're not with.

Speaker 2 (01:50:52):
Shelby anymore.

Speaker 3 (01:50:52):
Didn't work out either, okay, and then you're 42
and you're dating a 30-year-oldwho is talking to you like how
I'm talking to you.
What do you think?

Speaker 2 (01:51:05):
I think, because I think, since women mature faster
than men, I think I could finda 30-year-old that would be
accepting of that situation.
If I give her, if I reciprocatewhat she's giving me, I don't
think that that's a tough marketto find that in.

Speaker 3 (01:51:25):
Would it be hard for you to?

Speaker 2 (01:51:27):
communicate Like be vulnerable.
If you were that hurt, likeShelby fucking left you for
another man.

Speaker 3 (01:51:31):
Wait, hold, hold on would it be difficult for me to
communicate that?
Yeah, no not communicate thatjust no, just to forget that
it's four years later.
You've forgiven her blah blah.
Would you be able to haveanother relationship like a
stable relationship withsomebody else?

Speaker 2 (01:51:45):
I'm man stable, I don't know, that's tough to say,
really right, that would behard right.

Speaker 3 (01:51:50):
I mean it would be hard it would be hard for you to
trust somebody again what I'mtrying to like come across is I
think it would be hard foranybody to be vulnerable again I
think, it'd be hard for anybodyto open up again I'll say it'll
be hard for most people becauseof the trauma that you're

(01:52:10):
dealing with exactly because Isee what you're driving home to
julie I get it.

Speaker 1 (01:52:12):
I see what you're saying, that that would make it
more difficult absolutely I'mnot, but you're talking about
that when you're being betrayed,though, right?

Speaker 3 (01:52:19):
no in that scenario.
No, no, I'm saying datingsomebody again after that
betrayal.

Speaker 1 (01:52:25):
So well, yeah, but but the trauma is a betrayal,
right?
So, of course, after a betrayal, you're more sensitive to just
things that can lead to that.
So, of course, outings withfriends, you're going somewhere
by yourself.
Where the fuck are you going?
Well, where are you, you know?
I'm saying like that's, that'sa trauma response.
Right, that's a trauma for sure, if you're not over that right,

(01:52:45):
or if you if you're not, if youdon't accept.

Speaker 3 (01:52:48):
What I'm trying to say is I don't blame him for
acting like that, even fouryears after his divorce.

Speaker 1 (01:52:54):
Why not?

Speaker 3 (01:52:56):
Because it takes some people a lot longer to heal.

Speaker 1 (01:52:59):
Look, I'm not saying that could be it, but I'm not
saying it justifies you ghostingme.

Speaker 3 (01:53:04):
I'm saying it doesn't justify it.

Speaker 1 (01:53:05):
It doesn't to you right With respect to you as an
individual.
It shouldn't necessarily applyWith the individual that
actually betrayed them.
It should apply.
If you're getting back withthem you already betrayed me.

Speaker 3 (01:53:18):
I don't trust you right.

Speaker 1 (01:53:20):
Saying one for all is kind of dumb, right?
Oh, you did it, so that meansthat you're going to do it.
Objectively.
You can say, yes, if someonedoes it, someone else can do it.
Right, okay, it's like oh, howthey treat them, they're going
to treat you, but that's notalways the case, Right?
It's not always the case,because people are different,
right, so you can't just do one.

(01:53:43):
Everyone has a specific, noteveryone's the same.
Yes, you had this trauma withthis person, but it doesn't mean
that this person's going tohave the same thing.

Speaker 3 (01:53:50):
True?
Yeah, it doesn't mean that, butthis is what I'm saying.
If you're not ready to date,then don't date.

Speaker 2 (01:53:55):
Don't?
You did kind of say that.

Speaker 1 (01:53:58):
But the thing is, people still want to have,
people still want to have sex?

Speaker 2 (01:54:04):
Of course they do.
I'm so glad he said that.
I'm so glad you said that,Because I want to ask you this
what is a woman?

Speaker 3 (01:54:11):
You said you're different from most right, I
wanted, no, I wanted to casuallydate somebody, meaning I just
wanted to casually fuck Tocasually fuck, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:54:20):
So why didn't you?
So why didn't you yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:54:21):
That's what we were doing.

Speaker 2 (01:54:23):
So what happened?
That's what I'm saying.
No, actually, to be fair.
No, no, she's not.
We didn't know all that Hold on, hold on.
We didn't know that we werecasually dating.
You're fucking yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:54:37):
We were casually going out on dates and having
sex and then we to me.
We both understood this andthen he got weird.

Speaker 2 (01:54:46):
Okay, see no, but she's got a point.
I see what you're saying.
Think we both understood this.
And then he got weird.
Okay, see no.

Speaker 1 (01:54:49):
but she's got a point , I see what you're saying.

Speaker 2 (01:54:50):
Think about it.
How did he get?
Weird, though, I'll tell you no, she said it, no, she said it
already.

Speaker 1 (01:54:52):
I thought it was weird.
No, no, no, she said it.
She did Think about it.

Speaker 3 (01:55:02):
The family, meeting the parents.

Speaker 2 (01:55:03):
You probably thought, I thought we were just having
sex and having fun.

Speaker 1 (01:55:06):
We didn't know that it was casual at first.

Speaker 3 (01:55:07):
That's fair, for me it was casual, but like.
I said it was both casual.

Speaker 2 (01:55:15):
How did he come into it?

Speaker 3 (01:55:16):
I'm sorry.
He wanted to fuck me on thefirst date.

Speaker 2 (01:55:18):
And.

Speaker 1 (01:55:18):
I said no and I said no.

Speaker 3 (01:55:21):
I said no because I'm sorry, no, we're not going to
have sex on the first date.
So second, third, fourth, so Iknew he wanted to fuck me on the
first date, but that didn'thappen.
So, then there was a seconddate, and then that didn't
happen.
And there was the third datewhere he invited me over to his
house and he made me drinks andhe knew I'm telling you, he knew
what he wanted.

Speaker 2 (01:55:42):
Okay, he knew it would happen.
Okay, okay, most guys know, ifI get her bro and she's feeling
me like I know she's feeling meand we get some drinks in us,
it's happening and I knew what Iwanted.

Speaker 3 (01:55:50):
So we had sex.

Speaker 2 (01:55:52):
Of course we did it Because you wanted to.
You're human.
You wanted some release,exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:55:54):
And then we hung out again, and then we did it, and
then we hung out again.

Speaker 2 (01:56:05):
And we did it.

Speaker 3 (01:56:06):
My therapist was the one that said, hey, after,
because unfortunately my grandmapassed away during this time,
right, so he knew I was alreadygoing through it.
So he was just like, okay,after your gram, after all the
funeral aspects of it, becausehe knew I was taking care of
everything.
He knew I was like, you know,doing all of the arrangements.

(01:56:26):
He was just like then you havethat conversation with him and I
was like, okay, cool.
But he started acting weirdbefore that conversation came up
to it.
I see so he took me out to thirdplace in lancaster and then we
hung out and we were drinkingdrinks and he was acting so
fucking weird like weird as inquiet.

(01:56:47):
Weird as in yawning.
Weird as in he seemed bored.
Weird as in he didn't want tofucking be there.
Weird.
And I told him I was like ifyou're too tired we could have
rescheduled and he was on springbreak.
It was his spring break.
He's a teacher.
It was his spring break.

Speaker 2 (01:57:03):
And you felt it too, and I felt it.

Speaker 3 (01:57:05):
I'm not dumb with energy I feel it.

Speaker 1 (01:57:09):
I feel it Like.

Speaker 3 (01:57:10):
I pick up whether you want to talk to me or whether
you want to hang out with me, ornot?
Like right now you're on yourphone, I'm just checking the
time.

Speaker 1 (01:57:18):
I always check the time.

Speaker 2 (01:57:21):
You don't want to be here anymore.
I get it.

Speaker 3 (01:57:25):
I mean low-key.

Speaker 1 (01:57:26):
I'm already past my time.
No exactly, I feel it, do you?

Speaker 3 (01:57:30):
understand what I'm saying.
I feel that.
So I called him out on it andhe was just like no, nothing's
wrong, nothing's wrong, nothing.
And I was just like, are yousure, are you sure?
And he was just like he got alittle sassy with me.
I was like, okay, well, goodbye.
I was like, oh, you know whatI'm gonna?
Get going and then I left andnever heard from him again.
Wow, so there you go since thatday.

Speaker 2 (01:57:52):
Listen to that, yes, listen to that energy listen to
it.
Listen to it, respect it and beaware of what's going on.
I agree, I see what she'ssaying.
Now, look, I'm gonna say causethis is.
This is going on great rightnow, as much as I don't want to
end it, I know he's got to takeoff, so we'll wrap the episode,
guys, when we will do a part two.
I know, julia, would you bedown to come back?
Yeah, don't blame me, keep itgoing.
No, we're not blaming you.

Speaker 3 (01:58:13):
Keep it going.
No, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 (01:58:16):
Don't blame me, I got to go, no we're not blaming you
okay yeah, so let's fucking goalright, let's go alright.
So before we wrap this up, I'llwrap it up.
I end it with this guys, we'llhave a part two.
We'll definitely have Juliacome back, maybe for this topic
or something different.
We'll discuss it beforehand, asalways, we hope you guys were

(01:58:37):
able to learn from what wetalked about.
What was there.
She's excited to see you, bythe way.
She loves you anyway.
Before we go though, furious,what do you want to leave the
listeners and the audience withthe viewers?
Go ahead and put your two centsin there real quick.

Speaker 1 (01:58:51):
What's done in the dark will come to light.

Speaker 3 (01:58:52):
Boom, baby Boom.
Sorry that was so loud.
She seconds it bro.

Speaker 2 (01:58:58):
I'm so sorry.
Nah, she feels bro.

Speaker 3 (01:59:04):
She's recovering from cheating, bro, so come on now,
she knows.
It did ease case, did his casewe didn't get to cover that
doing, the dark comes to lightdiddy amen and you know what
beauty of that too.

Speaker 2 (01:59:17):
Julia, what would you like to come back for that
episode?
We're going to discuss that inyour future.
That means, yes, she'll be back.
Guys, for the, for thediscussion.

Speaker 3 (01:59:25):
That's what that means she'll be back to discuss
the diddy case, but to give us afemale's perspective on it.

Speaker 2 (01:59:29):
I would like that honestly can you commit to that?

Speaker 3 (01:59:32):
he's a dirty son of a bitch yes, he is, and he was
cocky and he was rich and he gotaway with way too fucking much
because he had way.
He had, yes, men around him, ofcourse, but you know what.

Speaker 2 (01:59:46):
We'll dive into a different episode.
She's right, guys, we'll diveinto that deeper, in another day
, another episode, but for now,this was today's episode.
Man, thank you, julia, forsharing with us what you did.
It means a lot to us.
We appreciate your time.
And, obviously, what you did,it means a lot, we appreciate it
.
Keep it up.
You want the horns girl?

(02:00:08):
I keep it up, I'll give you.
I'll give you.
You want the horns girl?
I got you the horns.
You don't think I had the horns?
Huh, no, I know you did.
Okay then, so I need to showyou the love girl.
Yeah, alright, but real quick.
Before you go, though, do youwant to leave the audience and
listeners and viewers with andyou want to say quick little
advice, tidbit, go ahead.
You got the floor, know your?

Speaker 3 (02:00:28):
worth and listeners and viewers with, and you want
to say quick little advicetidbit, go ahead, you got the
floor.
Know your worth If you feelsomething is off when you're in
a relationship with somebody.
Know your worth A hundredpercent of the time your
intuition is right.
So listen to it, remember it,listen to it and value yourself,
because nobody else is going toshow up for you but you.

Speaker 2 (02:00:48):
Amen.

Speaker 3 (02:00:49):
There you go.

Speaker 2 (02:00:50):
I like that, all right.
Well again, thank you, julia.
It's been timeless talk.
Guys, you know where to find uson the platforms.
Everything you can listen to,everything you can view YouTube,
spotify, apple Music.
It's all there, you guys.
Iheart Radio.
Thank you guys, it's beentimeless talk.
We'll see you guys next week.
Julia, we'll be back in thefuture.
God bless you guys.
Subscribe like share, please.

(02:01:10):
We'll see you guys next week.
All right, take care.
Outro Music.

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