June 3, 2025 • 28 mins
This week on Timeless & Unfiltered, we’re talking about the men who swear we’re talking about them—even though we never said a name! They don’t comment, they don’t like, but the moment an episode hits a nerve… here come the calls, texts, and “you talking about me?” energy. Sir, if it struck a chord, maybe that’s your conscience talking.
We’re breaking down why some men feel so exposed by our truth—and why silence on the timeline turns into noise in our inbox. If you’re feeling triggered… well, that’s between you and your ego.
🔔 COMMENT (don’t just lurk), LIKE, and SUBSCRIBE.
📱 And fellas… if the shoe fits, go ahead and jog in it.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
A lot of men are watching our podcast but they
won't comment but they'll sendtext messages and responses.
I'm going to try to approachthis lightly.
Look, and it's amazing to me,how many people are projecting
their insecurities or their andlet's just say it, most of them
(00:23):
are or their and let's just sayit most of them are.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
This is Legra.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
This is Stephanie, this is Cherie and this is
Ivanya.
And this is Timeless andUnfiltered where we are spilling
the tea on midlife one laugh ata time.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Welcome back to another episode of Timeless and
Unfiltered.
I'm Stephanie.
That was so mechanical Becausethis ain't my thing, it's her
thing.
I like that.
I'm Cherise, and we arespilling the tea on midlife.
One laugh at a time.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Take it away, Laker, I know You're so crazy.
Well, y'all might notice we'remissing one.
She's here in spirit.
She's here in spirit.
She's here in spirit.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Well, you know this is what Grad graduation season,
travel season.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Yeah, so we're missing Avanya today, but she'll
be back.
She'll be back, but over thenext couple of weeks all our
schedules are crazy, so it'sgoing to be a few episodes that
one of us might be missing.
Yeah, throughout the summer.
Yeah, one of us might bemissing, because that's what
we're outside.
In these streets.
We're outside, okay, but, um,this I'm trying to see how we're
(01:49):
going to approach this topictoday.
Well, let's start with it'sbeen amazing couple of weeks
since we've launched our podcastand it's amazing the
demographics that are watchingour podcast.
But a lot of men are watchingour podcast.
They are.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
But they won't comment.
No, we're a guilty pleasure.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
But they'll send text messages.
Yes, and responses.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Right yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
They'll send text messages and things.
Comment I'm going to try toapproach this lightly.
Look, so you know.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
You don't approach it lightly.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Go on, I'm going to try to, you know.
So your phone ain't blowing upthis week, stephanie, don't
nobody like me, so your phonenot blowing up this week.
No, we're going to talk about,let's talk about, I don't know.
Do you want to be married, notbeing married?
Are you here for a relationship?
(02:51):
You're here for a good time.
You know just kind of where weare.
And this all kind of came uptoo because we know that
Stephanie is, was I don't knowwhich term to use in a
relationship.
I'm not anymore.
I was going to let you say it.
(03:11):
You don't like me anymore, youknow.
But you know what I always saythings, I mean things, happen
for a season.
I'm sick of these seasons, Iknow girl, I know what's it
Winter, spring, summer, fallI'll give of these seasons.
I know, girl, I know what's itWinter, spring, summer, fall
I'll give you my all For aseason Because it was Laverne
(03:32):
Right For a season.
I love them For a season, butit's amazing to me how many men
are watching our podcast thatare commenting privately.
Yeah, but they won't comment onthe episode.
They won't, but.
but they want you to acknowledge, but they want you to
acknowledge something thatyou've said on the on the show
(03:52):
and I'm going to say youprobably are getting more of a
hit than that than we are, thanwe are.
You want to?
You want to explain a littlebit, or no?
I love everybody.
Well, this is my feeling.
This is my feeling, and wetalked about this briefly before
(04:12):
we started filming.
Our podcast is about ourexperiences and it's amazing to
me how many people areprojecting their insecurities or
their and let's just say it,most of them are men, projecting
their insecurities or theirlack of something that they
(04:34):
think they may have done ordidn't do.
First of all, we haven't namedanybody's names at all.
And what do we always say?
A hit dog will holler.
So if you feel the need to callor to text because an
experience or something thatwe've shared has triggered
something that you think, nowyou need to respond to.
Now we also have men sayingy'all need to have a man on the
(04:55):
couch.
You need to have a man on thecouch.
Why do we need to have a man onthe couch?
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Because we're not talking about men, a different
perspective.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Yeah, but we're not talking about men.
We've made some comments.
No, let's start with this.
You've made some comments, butyou've made, but I feel like
you've made them from generaland from my experience, your
experiences from my experiences,like when I say men don't
approach me when I'm out, or andthat's your experience that's
(05:22):
been my experience, so but sonow we need men to explain now
they feel why they don'tapproach me.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
I guess one told me I look mean as shit.
So it's like look at you.
You look mean.
I was like, oh, okay, well I'mnot for you walking around
cheesing all the time.
I'm not.
That's just not the person I am.
And what's crazy is that mylast relationship.
I gave him much respect becauseno one approaches me, and the
fact that he approached me I waslike finally somebody talking
(05:52):
about that, but when I think inhindsight, it's because I was
coming out of a bar singing anddancing and having a good time,
but you always are and I lookalways even.
But even if, yeah, you're inthe bar, you know I'm down, I'm
having a good time.
And people don't say anything.
Yes, and I actually had afriend's husband tell me years
ago.
He was a Kappa and we were at aKappa casino night.
(06:13):
I think I was in my early 30sand I was there with him and his
wife, third wheel forever andwe were there and he came up he
said, steph, he was like so manyof my bros want to approach you
, but you look mean and they arescared to say something to you
and I'm like what?
And you're dancing and I knowyou.
No, well, me and her were justin the corner talking.
At the time I wasn't, we had onsuits and we were just like
(06:37):
that.
So he was like listen, please,try this.
He said please.
He said said please.
He said go over there, talk tomy wife he said act like y'all
laughing, crack some jokes.
He said please smile and actlike you're fun.
And I'm like why I got to dothis like jesus and I was like
whatever and so I was like girlthis is so crazy girl that I got
to and people started talkingto me and so I learned that a
(07:00):
lot of men, I think, like I said, I feel like I have a resting
bitch face a lot of times and sopeople are scared.
I said I feel like I have aresting bitch face a lot of
times and so people are scaredto approach me and that's why
I'm like very approachable andI'm not rude, I'm not going to
be like get away from me, whyare you talking?
I'm not that lady, but I guessmy face gives that off.
And so when I started doingthat, then people would approach
me.
So, like I said in my lastrelationship, I was coming out
(07:21):
to bar having a good time and Iguess he felt like she look a
little fun.
Hey, where you going?
You taking a party with you?
Where you going?
Come on back in, I think.
And that's because no one talksto me.
So then I just we latched on andwe had a lot in common or
whatever.
Y'all better catch me when I'mout.
Do you think it's because a lotof men are them out?
(07:47):
I do think so and I I thank godthat built y'all up for that.
I just I can't take rejection,that's all.
I could never be a man, becauseI know they're.
They're like just built for alot of rejection.
They have to take a lot ofrejection, and so I don take a
lot of rejection, and so I don'tknow, I feel bad for y'all.
I'm still not saying nothing toyou, though.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
I'm like we just all gonna be rejected because I
ain't saying nothing to you soyou don't see men or see someone
and be like, ooh, you just sitthere the whole time and say,
ooh, I hope he come talk to me,uh that listen, listen.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
I did that two times in my life and my dad always
told me.
When I was 19, he said men arethe hunters.
Yes, and women are hunted.
And two times in my life Idecided I'm gonna say something
to this and got my face cracked.
And then that's when I realizedthat men have a preference so
the one dude that I thought wascute and was trying to talk to.
(08:43):
He only liked light-skinnedwomen and so I was too dark for
him, so he went.
He went my type.
And then I tried talking toanother guy we out there dancing
like yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's.
Like yeah, you're a little toolittle for me.
I like your home girl becauseshe was a thick, voluptuous
woman and I was like damn so.
That's why I was like I'm notapproaching a man, because men
have their preferences.
They know, know what they like.
I'm not trying to get rejected?
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Yeah, we do.
We have our preferences, weknow what we like, so if they
approach us, then they'regetting rejected as well.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
I do it in a nice way .
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Why she do all of this.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I mean whoever I don't know.
For me and you guys know this Idon't have a problem going to
say something to somebody.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
I'm a rafters.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Yeah, I don't have a problem approaching somebody
because it's 50-50.
You never know if you don't try.
And you know I come from theold school, the old rules, but I
don't live by, you know.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
I don't live by Frank .
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Sinatra, I always do it, my way.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
So I don't live by any of those rules anyway.
But you have a 50-50 chance.
I'm a punk.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
I can't, I ain't made up like that.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
You know I cry, but rejection doesn't bother me
either.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
I know this is going to sound really terrible but I'm
not rejected very often.
But I also don't approach veryoften.
Oh, this is, I don't approachvery often.
Oh, this is gonna sound so meanand terrible.
I don't like people very oftenyeah, well, no, that's not me.
I rarely see, I think, youngerme, younger me, I think, saw a
(10:19):
lot of the physical traits ofmen that I liked and so be like,
hey you know, and then a lot of.
Well, I think two things are alittle bit different than they
were back then, and especiallytwo with, at our age, younger me
, you just kind of made yourselfavailable.
I'm gonna go walk to the bar,because sometimes we, because
we're in a herd, with the henhouse yeah, men don't want to
(10:41):
come into the hen house becausenow not only are you being
rejected, but it's also in frontof the girlfriends and all that
kind of stuff.
Men used to send drinks becausewe kind of had this
conversation a little bit onyour episode.
Men used to send drinks.
You know, do you send one oryou got to send the whole table,
all that kind of thing.
So sometimes you got to pullyourself out the herd.
Pull yourself out the herd.
(11:02):
I don't care if you go into theladies room.
I can't tell you how many timesyou just go into the ladies
room and see, and that's a petpeeve for me.
That's a pet peeve for me, notthat you're talking to me, but
don't grab me.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
I never like that.
You can do that, you know,excuse me, you know, or
something like that, but thatgrab thing, see then the other
leg kind of come out.
And I'm not as pleasant BecauseI just, first of all, you don't
know me but you don't everright.
Don't invade my personal spacelike that, but I don't know.
But now I think when I'm outlike the grocery store getting
(11:39):
something to eat, like it ain'teven the club scene no more,
it's the gas station or whatever, I don't know, if just I got a
filter on or something Like thephysical is not as important to
me anymore.
So you not approaching me, Idon't.
I rarely see men I'm attractedto physically.
I know that sound crazy.
I'm attracted to power.
(12:00):
I've noticed that I love a manthat got some some power crazy,
I'm attracted to power.
I've noticed that I love a manthat got some power body.
I love a big boy with some swag.
The only thing I can say Idon't really like is skinny.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
It's thin.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
But that's my insecurity.
You know what I'm saying.
Like I ain't going to be thefat bitch in a relationship with
your little skinny ass.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
We got enough body issues Right, little skinny ass.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
You know what I'm saying we got enough body issues
right.
It's concerns already I ain'tgonna never be with.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
I ain't gonna be the big one and you the little
skinny brother.
But that also was part of thetomboy in me, because I'm still
I just heard what's his facetomboyish we ain't gonna do
nothing, right?
Speaker 3 (12:36):
I need you to have some meat on your body, right?
Speaker 1 (12:38):
like I'm.
I think I go into I'm kind ofprotective.
Well, y'all already know I'mprotective of my friends.
I'm protective of my family.
I'm protective of my circle andand family don't mean blood and
that's my relationships.
You.
You part of my family.
I'm very protective of that.
So when I'm with a personthat's smaller or than me, I'm
in a more of a protective mode,which is why I like bigger men I
(13:02):
like taller men whatever,because I like to feel protected
, cause you know I have a little, not that little men aren't
strong.
No, they're not.
I mean, I'm not saying thatthey're not, but this is my
preference and us, and sayingour preferences is cracking me
up and that kind of brings usback to the conversation with
you when we stating what we likeor what we've been through our
(13:23):
preferences.
It's amazing to me how peoplewatching have internalized that
to say I'm not talking about who, say I'm talking about you, I'm
talking about what I like.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
What I like or what has happened to me and how now
you've projecting yourinsecurities and now you feel
the need to text me privatelybecause you got some, because I
said something about what I likeor what.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
I want or whatever.
So that was kind of how thatcircle back to that.
But yeah, I don't, I don't meet, I'm I'm rarely attracted to
anybody anymore and I noticethat's crazy.
Um, as much as I do love love,yeah, I do, I love love, but the
things that were so importantto me before, just not that
important to me anymore.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
What's your credit score?
What's your social securitycheck?
Look like.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
No, it ain't even that.
Because one is because justeducation, of learning what
credit can do for our lives.
If you and I are to gettogether, I don't care what your
profession is, you know it'sthis one.
It's this one thing on uminstagram and facebook, um the
gold digger pranks.
Do y'all ever watch those, thegold digger pranks?
Speaker 2 (14:31):
I love that where the ladies be walking and they'll
see the guy with the car andthen they'll turn around and try
to talk to me.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
He's like no, yeah, yeah he, the guy, is walking
down the street.
He'll walk up to a young lady,lady, and he'll be like hey, how
you doing.
You look, you're beautiful.
Are you talking to me?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Don't talk to me or whatever, whatever.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
And you know, and he's like, you know, my name is
such and such and she, what'syour name?
I don't got one.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
No name, none of your business.
They do that whole thing.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
They do that whole.
Thing.
And he'd be like you know what,you have a good day, and then
he'd go to get in a nice car andthey'd turn around Girl, they'd
be running back tapping on thewindows all that kind of stuff
that's so terrible.
Cracks me up, cracks me up, andit's amazing that that's what
our young generation has come to.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
And not even just young, because there's some
older ones in there too.
So we can't blame the youngkids mean acting.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
We can't blame the young kids.
You saw his nice car and thenall of a sudden, but I can tell
you right now a lot of peoplewith a lot of things that
they're.
That don't mean they'regenerous show don't.
I want a generous man and that.
And a generous man is a giverand he don't have to have all
that money.
He might finds a way to makeyou feel special.
(15:40):
And generosity doesn't meanmoney, it does not, it doesn't,
it doesn't mean money.
So I think now when I, when I'mout and I see men, I just see
them differently, you know.
So, yeah, your credit score isimportant to me because I know
what your credit score can dofor us, for us.
If you got bad credit, okay,let's, let's get your credit
(16:01):
fixed.
That don't mean I won't, Iwon't talk to you.
Okay, now we don't keep get,keep getting it fixed.
Right, that part, but it isthat, because you know but it's
your.
It's because now I look at moneydifferent.
Yeah, I look at moneydifferently.
Um prime example, we're goingto close on a investment
(16:22):
property credit.
They looked at credit, theywanted to see bank statements
and now they're financing 93% wedon't have to come to the table
with no money because you hadthe credit, you have the this
and now you can go to go and buyit, buy investment property.
So we have the potential topurchase this property,
(16:46):
literally coming to the tablewith like ten thousand dollars.
Ok, and we, you know we'regetting that whole other that's
a whole nother conversation ofhow you don't even have to have
ten thousand dollars.
But do you have good credit?
Do you have a credit card thatyou got five thousand on this
one and five thousand on thisone credit?
Do you have a credit card thatyou got 5,000 on this one and
5,000 on this one?
Now you can go get you a house,a house and the people will
(17:06):
give you the loan to fix it up,and now I'm going to flip this
house and this potential home isa hundred thousand dollar
profit.
But if your house ain't in order, see, now I'm looking at men
differently because I want somethings in my life and I want you
to be able.
What can we do together?
So that whole topic of what youbring to the table are you
(17:27):
bringing a credit score to thetable?
That's what I need.
I need you to have good credit,because if you got good credit.
I can help you If you alreadydon't know how to leverage your
credit to be able to get accessto funding.
To what you want to start abusiness, baby, you know to what
you want to start a businessbaby.
You know what business you wantto start.
You got good credit okay, let meshow you how you can get the
money to start that businessbecause you got a good credit
(17:49):
score.
So when I look at men, I'll youknow my look is a little
differently right now.
It's a little, it's just, it'sjust different, but I don't know
if that's age, is that maturity?
Is that education?
I don't know what it is.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
I think all of it.
And life experiences.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
I think it's all of it, and I think that um
everybody look for somethingdifferent right so, like you
said, I love power, I wantcredit.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
I'm attracted.
You know what I?
Speaker 2 (18:14):
mean everybody have something different?
Did they just they want and orneed?
You know what I mean in arelationship?
Now, I do think that'simportant.
I'm not maturity we're notgoing backwards and trying to
figure out the credit and getyour score up and all of that
(18:35):
stuff Like that's over, right,Right.
But yeah, it's just foreverybody, it's something
different.
Yeah, no, I still like sexy,though now Don't get me wrong,
Because you know it's just foreverybody.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
It's something different.
I still like sexy, though nowDon't get me wrong, Because you
know she's still got topercolate when I see her Right.
But you want to make mepercolate?
Come with a good credit score.
Oh geez, Come with a goodcredit score.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
Maybe I'm at a 9.10.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
You know what I'm saying.
Well, I like to see a manthat's at this age of my life
doing this thing.
Whatever that is, I don't evencare.
That's what I'm saying, yourprofession is not important to
me anymore.
You know, back in the day youwanted a man that did this or
you wanted to do that.
That's not important to meanymore.
What are you doing now and inyour fifties?
I don't have a lot of time forpeople.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
That's fixing to or getting ready to, or one day I
want to.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
And I'm going.
Well, when does that day start?
Because we in our 50s- bro.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Yeah, it's like the 40-something wanting to be a
rapper, what?
Speaker 1 (19:31):
He's still chasing that career, but it's what you
said Tell me wrong, becauseKiller Mike just won all kind of
Grammys.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
Yeah, and all that kind of stuff Shout out to
Killer Mike, but he was stillchasing the dream to get there.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Yeah, at 40-something , I hear you 40-something, you
can't tell me.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
I'm still trying to be a rapper, so I'm still saying
that, Well, if not, then whenit's like to me, it's never too
late to try to do what you wantto do.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
But remember, we just said we're all different.
We just said we're alldifferent.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
I mean we all want something different.
So for me, you guys, it's justnot my life.
For me, I'm looking at whatyou're doing.
It's not that you, it's notthat you can't.
First of all, you know, you canalways start something new.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Yeah, it's never too late.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
It's never too late, but I think I'm over the dreamer
yeah, I think I.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
We dreamed back then.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Now you got in your 50s, you got to be doing.
Doing it got to be in motion.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Even if you're not.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
I'm not where I want to be.
I'm not where I want to be, butI'm still.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
I don't think any of us are.
I'm still trying to get there.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
I'm still trying to get there.
But that person that sits backand just say, one day I'm going
to well, when is one day?
When you're in your 50s?
Speaker 3 (20:39):
When they wait for you to help them do it.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
When you're in your 50s.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
So yeah, so I'm you know.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
But it's just, these are our own preferences, these
are our own experiences thatwe've had, and it's just been
amazing to me how our maleaudience has something to say
Privately, though privately,comment.
Look whichever camera, commenton if you got something to say I
got.
Privately, though privatelycomment whichever camera.
Yeah, comment.
(21:05):
If you got something to say,comment on it?
Yeah, we look at comments, werespond we look at all the
comments yeah, you ain't got tocall privately, you ain't got to
text privately and a hit dogwill holler the conversation
might not even have been aboutyou, and I think it's
interesting.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
I think I talked to you.
I may have said something toyou, aunt Stephanie, but we did
that one on marriage with Cheryland You're either married or
you're single right.
Right and so several peopleactually said something to my
boo about she's sitting outthere talking about she's single
.
What are y'all talking about?
Like I'm not married.
(21:44):
The people that reach out andsay something to her about this
podcast thing.
It's like crazy, I'm not, andthe fact that I had to talk
about that?
Yeah, and based on what washappening, you were married or
you were single Right.
What are we talking about?
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Or married and unmarried, right, but they're
watching and make comments toyou.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Right, they are watching, but that's why Y'all
know, I told y'all I don't evengo back and watch and look at
the comments, because you knowmy personality can't take it
your personality disorder.
I can't.
I'm too wired for all of that.
Like what?
Speaker 1 (22:25):
What are we doing, but to your?
Speaker 2 (22:27):
point they are watching.
Yeah, but why y'all have to dothat negative stuff?
It's just ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
It's funny, it's funny, it's the world.
We making your life hard overthere, stephanie.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
It's funny, it's funny.
So we start making your lifehard over there, stephanie, but
it's already hard.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
I mean, I'm sure it's hard.
One of the things we talkedabout is that grieving you know
when it's over it is, you haveto mourn and grieve.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
It doesn't mean it's easy.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
You know those kind of decisions are, they're just
really hard.
And then when you get on hereand you're making all of us,
when we're saying things we'renot none of us are like this.
We're not saying anythingnegative towards the person we
were with currently with at all.
We're having generalizedconversations like talking about
men.
I'm not even one of them, God,but I sit here and have these
(23:15):
conversations right, and shecould be like, well, damn, I
want people to know, but that'snot what we're doing.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
We're just having generalized conversations.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
And so we can't just take everything and personalize
it to ourself to appeasesomebody else.
You kind of need you, not kindof.
You need people who are strongenough to withstand whatever
you're talking about and they'reokay because they know that
y'all are good, mm-hmm you'rejust having a conversation.
(23:46):
So it is what you said the hitdogs will have conversations.
The feedback that follow up isa lot from the guys apart that
you've had our conversationabout boundaries yeah, about
boundaries.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
And I, you know, I'm the first person to tell
everybody don't listen to me,because you will be single,
because I.
One thing I have learned andit's taken me time to get here
is I have very strict and firmboundaries.
If it disrupts my peace, ohabsolutely.
If it disrupts my peace, if youand I are in a relationship and
(24:20):
we are no longer together, Idon't need to call you no more
and there's no conversation.
We don't need to talk.
I'm okay with that.
But what you're not gonna do iscall me with your tricks
because something has triggeredyou and now you need to project
that back onto me.
We're together.
We're not together if we're nottogether what I could say.
(24:41):
Whatever I want to say about howI feel and my feelings, my
perspective, same way you can dothe same about your feelings
and all those kind of things.
But what you can't do is callme to bother me with your right
no, I agree with that 100.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
That's called setting boundaries, I agree with that
100%.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
That's called setting boundaries 100%.
I agree with that.
You cannot disrupt my peace andyou're in a mourning period.
This is a mourning period, sothat constant antagonizing that
just keeps ripping the band-aidback off, yeah, you got to heal.
Give yourself time to heal, andthat's when you got to set
boundaries.
Set boundaries.
(25:16):
And you know, and I know, your,your ex, I like him, me too,
from what I know of him, but I'mnot in a relationship with him.
You know, you know what I'msaying.
I like him and so it's no, it'sthat's what I'm saying.
It's never, it's not anythingnegative.
That's the same thing with meand my ex-husband.
My ex-husband, my ex-husband isa great guy.
(25:37):
We're just not meant to betogether.
It don't take away from himbeing a great guy he's not a bad
that's what
Speaker 2 (25:43):
I'm like and you've never said anything about him
he's like man, he's so much fun,or whatever.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
And because the two of you don't make it in a
relationship, don't take awayany from who from him from him
being a great guy or you being agreat woman.
It just weren't meant for y'alltwo to be together.
Yeah, that's it, you know.
But?
Speaker 3 (26:00):
all that.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
No, she'll be.
Yeah, I know, but that constantthis, this, this, that just
keeps ripping that band-aid backoff, You're going to have to
set your boundaries Because Imight have some shit I need him
to fix around here one day.
So don't be mad.
I'll be like Stephanie, y'allcool.
Yet I'm going to find somebodyelse and I'll be like can you
call him?
And let him come fix that overthere for me, because he good at
(26:24):
what he do he great he is.
But not over here.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
I'm not petty like that and I know you're not.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
And you know that's a whole other conversation, right
, that is a whole notherconversation.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
Right Like for real.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
That is a whole nother conversation about exes
and then those connections.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
My ex-husband.
We're going to be filming anepisode in Jamaica in a couple
of weeks.
Ok, all four of us will betogether in Jamaica.
I called and invited myex-husband and his wife to come,
that's so progressive Becausemy son is going to be there.
My son is going to be there.
My son is going to be there andwe've never all been in the
same, whatever.
At the same time, I don't haveanything against his current
(27:07):
wife.
He's a great guy.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
That's an interesting topic.
So, progressive, and let metell you why that's an
interesting topic.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Because, oh my gosh, that would be a really good
topic.
Okay, well, we're going to holdit there for another episode,
then that's a good topic Becauseit's so progressive, it's so
progressive that I can just hearall the comments.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
Maybe we all set up.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Well, we already know we're going to have to talk
about that next episode.
We're going to have to talkabout that next episode because
we're going to get off of here.
We we're going to have to talkabout that next episode because
we're going to get off of here.
We miss you, evonja, we do.
We miss you, but we're done fortoday.
But listen, man, we are nottalking about you at all.
Look in every camera, all right, at all we are not talking
about you.
We are talking about ourexperiences.
(27:49):
But we would love to hear fromyou.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
We would love to hear from you.
So we would love to hear fromyou.
So that was just a littlepeople.
Yeah, in general, we would loveto hear from you.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Comment.
Comment.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Share, subscribe.
Leave our we all know we gotvoicemail Leave our.
Leave a voicemail for us If youhave a topic you want us to
talk about and then I think wewere talking about Stephanie
brought it up too we're going tostart doing some lives.
Come on and talk to us.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Come on and talk to us live.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Ask some questions, defend yourself.
Yeah, dog me out, since youfeel like you need to defend
yourself, all those kind ofthings.
But anyway, y'all this isTimeless and Unfiltered.
I'm Legra, I'm Stephanie, I'm.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Cherise, and we're missing.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Avanya, but we're going to keep coming back
spilling it to your midlife onelife at to talk to y'all later.
A lot of men are watching our podcast but they
won't comment but they'll sendtext messages and responses.
I'm going to try to approachthis lightly.
Look, and it's amazing to me,how many people are projecting
their insecurities or their andlet's just say it, most of them
(00:23):
are or their and let's just sayit most of them are.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
This is Legra.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
This is Stephanie, this is Cherie and this is
Ivanya.
And this is Timeless andUnfiltered where we are spilling
the tea on midlife one laugh ata time.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Welcome back to another episode of Timeless and
Unfiltered.
I'm Stephanie.
That was so mechanical Becausethis ain't my thing, it's her
thing.
I like that.
I'm Cherise, and we arespilling the tea on midlife.
One laugh at a time.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Take it away, Laker, I know You're so crazy.
Well, y'all might notice we'remissing one.
She's here in spirit.
She's here in spirit.
She's here in spirit.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Well, you know this is what Grad graduation season,
travel season.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Yeah, so we're missing Avanya today, but she'll
be back.
She'll be back, but over thenext couple of weeks all our
schedules are crazy, so it'sgoing to be a few episodes that
one of us might be missing.
Yeah, throughout the summer.
Yeah, one of us might bemissing, because that's what
we're outside.
In these streets.
We're outside, okay, but, um,this I'm trying to see how we're
(01:49):
going to approach this topictoday.
Well, let's start with it'sbeen amazing couple of weeks
since we've launched our podcastand it's amazing the
demographics that are watchingour podcast.
But a lot of men are watchingour podcast.
They are.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
But they won't comment.
No, we're a guilty pleasure.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
But they'll send text messages.
Yes, and responses.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Right yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
They'll send text messages and things.
Comment I'm going to try toapproach this lightly.
Look, so you know.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
You don't approach it lightly.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Go on, I'm going to try to, you know.
So your phone ain't blowing upthis week, stephanie, don't
nobody like me, so your phonenot blowing up this week.
No, we're going to talk about,let's talk about, I don't know.
Do you want to be married, notbeing married?
Are you here for a relationship?
(02:51):
You're here for a good time.
You know just kind of where weare.
And this all kind of came uptoo because we know that
Stephanie is, was I don't knowwhich term to use in a
relationship.
I'm not anymore.
I was going to let you say it.
(03:11):
You don't like me anymore, youknow.
But you know what I always saythings, I mean things, happen
for a season.
I'm sick of these seasons, Iknow girl, I know what's it
Winter, spring, summer, fallI'll give of these seasons.
I know, girl, I know what's itWinter, spring, summer, fall
I'll give you my all For aseason Because it was Laverne
(03:32):
Right For a season.
I love them For a season, butit's amazing to me how many men
are watching our podcast thatare commenting privately.
Yeah, but they won't comment onthe episode.
They won't, but.
but they want you to acknowledge, but they want you to
acknowledge something thatyou've said on the on the show
(03:52):
and I'm going to say youprobably are getting more of a
hit than that than we are, thanwe are.
You want to?
You want to explain a littlebit, or no?
I love everybody.
Well, this is my feeling.
This is my feeling, and wetalked about this briefly before
(04:12):
we started filming.
Our podcast is about ourexperiences and it's amazing to
me how many people areprojecting their insecurities or
their and let's just say it,most of them are men, projecting
their insecurities or theirlack of something that they
(04:34):
think they may have done ordidn't do.
First of all, we haven't namedanybody's names at all.
And what do we always say?
A hit dog will holler.
So if you feel the need to callor to text because an
experience or something thatwe've shared has triggered
something that you think, nowyou need to respond to.
Now we also have men sayingy'all need to have a man on the
(04:55):
couch.
You need to have a man on thecouch.
Why do we need to have a man onthe couch?
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Because we're not talking about men, a different
perspective.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Yeah, but we're not talking about men.
We've made some comments.
No, let's start with this.
You've made some comments, butyou've made, but I feel like
you've made them from generaland from my experience, your
experiences from my experiences,like when I say men don't
approach me when I'm out, or andthat's your experience that's
(05:22):
been my experience, so but sonow we need men to explain now
they feel why they don'tapproach me.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
I guess one told me I look mean as shit.
So it's like look at you.
You look mean.
I was like, oh, okay, well I'mnot for you walking around
cheesing all the time.
I'm not.
That's just not the person I am.
And what's crazy is that mylast relationship.
I gave him much respect becauseno one approaches me, and the
fact that he approached me I waslike finally somebody talking
(05:52):
about that, but when I think inhindsight, it's because I was
coming out of a bar singing anddancing and having a good time,
but you always are and I lookalways even.
But even if, yeah, you're inthe bar, you know I'm down, I'm
having a good time.
And people don't say anything.
Yes, and I actually had afriend's husband tell me years
ago.
He was a Kappa and we were at aKappa casino night.
(06:13):
I think I was in my early 30sand I was there with him and his
wife, third wheel forever andwe were there and he came up he
said, steph, he was like so manyof my bros want to approach you
, but you look mean and they arescared to say something to you
and I'm like what?
And you're dancing and I knowyou.
No, well, me and her were justin the corner talking.
At the time I wasn't, we had onsuits and we were just like
(06:37):
that.
So he was like listen, please,try this.
He said please.
He said said please.
He said go over there, talk tomy wife he said act like y'all
laughing, crack some jokes.
He said please smile and actlike you're fun.
And I'm like why I got to dothis like jesus and I was like
whatever and so I was like girlthis is so crazy girl that I got
to and people started talkingto me and so I learned that a
(07:00):
lot of men, I think, like I said, I feel like I have a resting
bitch face a lot of times and sopeople are scared.
I said I feel like I have aresting bitch face a lot of
times and so people are scaredto approach me and that's why
I'm like very approachable andI'm not rude, I'm not going to
be like get away from me, whyare you talking?
I'm not that lady, but I guessmy face gives that off.
And so when I started doingthat, then people would approach
me.
So, like I said in my lastrelationship, I was coming out
(07:21):
to bar having a good time and Iguess he felt like she look a
little fun.
Hey, where you going?
You taking a party with you?
Where you going?
Come on back in, I think.
And that's because no one talksto me.
So then I just we latched on andwe had a lot in common or
whatever.
Y'all better catch me when I'mout.
Do you think it's because a lotof men are them out?
(07:47):
I do think so and I I thank godthat built y'all up for that.
I just I can't take rejection,that's all.
I could never be a man, becauseI know they're.
They're like just built for alot of rejection.
They have to take a lot ofrejection, and so I don take a
lot of rejection, and so I don'tknow, I feel bad for y'all.
I'm still not saying nothing toyou, though.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
I'm like we just all gonna be rejected because I
ain't saying nothing to you soyou don't see men or see someone
and be like, ooh, you just sitthere the whole time and say,
ooh, I hope he come talk to me,uh that listen, listen.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
I did that two times in my life and my dad always
told me.
When I was 19, he said men arethe hunters.
Yes, and women are hunted.
And two times in my life Idecided I'm gonna say something
to this and got my face cracked.
And then that's when I realizedthat men have a preference so
the one dude that I thought wascute and was trying to talk to.
(08:43):
He only liked light-skinnedwomen and so I was too dark for
him, so he went.
He went my type.
And then I tried talking toanother guy we out there dancing
like yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's.
Like yeah, you're a little toolittle for me.
I like your home girl becauseshe was a thick, voluptuous
woman and I was like damn so.
That's why I was like I'm notapproaching a man, because men
have their preferences.
They know, know what they like.
I'm not trying to get rejected?
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Yeah, we do.
We have our preferences, weknow what we like, so if they
approach us, then they'regetting rejected as well.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
I do it in a nice way .
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Why she do all of this.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I mean whoever I don't know.
For me and you guys know this Idon't have a problem going to
say something to somebody.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
I'm a rafters.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Yeah, I don't have a problem approaching somebody
because it's 50-50.
You never know if you don't try.
And you know I come from theold school, the old rules, but I
don't live by, you know.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
I don't live by Frank .
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Sinatra, I always do it, my way.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
So I don't live by any of those rules anyway.
But you have a 50-50 chance.
I'm a punk.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
I can't, I ain't made up like that.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
You know I cry, but rejection doesn't bother me
either.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
I know this is going to sound really terrible but I'm
not rejected very often.
But I also don't approach veryoften.
Oh, this is, I don't approachvery often.
Oh, this is gonna sound so meanand terrible.
I don't like people very oftenyeah, well, no, that's not me.
I rarely see, I think, youngerme, younger me, I think, saw a
(10:19):
lot of the physical traits ofmen that I liked and so be like,
hey you know, and then a lot of.
Well, I think two things are alittle bit different than they
were back then, and especiallytwo with, at our age, younger me
, you just kind of made yourselfavailable.
I'm gonna go walk to the bar,because sometimes we, because
we're in a herd, with the henhouse yeah, men don't want to
(10:41):
come into the hen house becausenow not only are you being
rejected, but it's also in frontof the girlfriends and all that
kind of stuff.
Men used to send drinks becausewe kind of had this
conversation a little bit onyour episode.
Men used to send drinks.
You know, do you send one oryou got to send the whole table,
all that kind of thing.
So sometimes you got to pullyourself out the herd.
Pull yourself out the herd.
(11:02):
I don't care if you go into theladies room.
I can't tell you how many timesyou just go into the ladies
room and see, and that's a petpeeve for me.
That's a pet peeve for me, notthat you're talking to me, but
don't grab me.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
I never like that.
You can do that, you know,excuse me, you know, or
something like that, but thatgrab thing, see then the other
leg kind of come out.
And I'm not as pleasant BecauseI just, first of all, you don't
know me but you don't everright.
Don't invade my personal spacelike that, but I don't know.
But now I think when I'm outlike the grocery store getting
(11:39):
something to eat, like it ain'teven the club scene no more,
it's the gas station or whatever, I don't know, if just I got a
filter on or something Like thephysical is not as important to
me anymore.
So you not approaching me, Idon't.
I rarely see men I'm attractedto physically.
I know that sound crazy.
I'm attracted to power.
(12:00):
I've noticed that I love a manthat got some some power crazy,
I'm attracted to power.
I've noticed that I love a manthat got some power body.
I love a big boy with some swag.
The only thing I can say Idon't really like is skinny.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
It's thin.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
But that's my insecurity.
You know what I'm saying.
Like I ain't going to be thefat bitch in a relationship with
your little skinny ass.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
We got enough body issues Right, little skinny ass.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
You know what I'm saying we got enough body issues
right.
It's concerns already I ain'tgonna never be with.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
I ain't gonna be the big one and you the little
skinny brother.
But that also was part of thetomboy in me, because I'm still
I just heard what's his facetomboyish we ain't gonna do
nothing, right?
Speaker 3 (12:36):
I need you to have some meat on your body, right?
Speaker 1 (12:38):
like I'm.
I think I go into I'm kind ofprotective.
Well, y'all already know I'mprotective of my friends.
I'm protective of my family.
I'm protective of my circle andand family don't mean blood and
that's my relationships.
You.
You part of my family.
I'm very protective of that.
So when I'm with a personthat's smaller or than me, I'm
in a more of a protective mode,which is why I like bigger men I
(13:02):
like taller men whatever,because I like to feel protected
, cause you know I have a little, not that little men aren't
strong.
No, they're not.
I mean, I'm not saying thatthey're not, but this is my
preference and us, and sayingour preferences is cracking me
up and that kind of brings usback to the conversation with
you when we stating what we likeor what we've been through our
(13:23):
preferences.
It's amazing to me how peoplewatching have internalized that
to say I'm not talking about who, say I'm talking about you, I'm
talking about what I like.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
What I like or what has happened to me and how now
you've projecting yourinsecurities and now you feel
the need to text me privatelybecause you got some, because I
said something about what I likeor what.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
I want or whatever.
So that was kind of how thatcircle back to that.
But yeah, I don't, I don't meet, I'm I'm rarely attracted to
anybody anymore and I noticethat's crazy.
Um, as much as I do love love,yeah, I do, I love love, but the
things that were so importantto me before, just not that
important to me anymore.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
What's your credit score?
What's your social securitycheck?
Look like.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
No, it ain't even that.
Because one is because justeducation, of learning what
credit can do for our lives.
If you and I are to gettogether, I don't care what your
profession is, you know it'sthis one.
It's this one thing on uminstagram and facebook, um the
gold digger pranks.
Do y'all ever watch those, thegold digger pranks?
Speaker 2 (14:31):
I love that where the ladies be walking and they'll
see the guy with the car andthen they'll turn around and try
to talk to me.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
He's like no, yeah, yeah he, the guy, is walking
down the street.
He'll walk up to a young lady,lady, and he'll be like hey, how
you doing.
You look, you're beautiful.
Are you talking to me?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Don't talk to me or whatever, whatever.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
And you know, and he's like, you know, my name is
such and such and she, what'syour name?
I don't got one.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
No name, none of your business.
They do that whole thing.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
They do that whole.
Thing.
And he'd be like you know what,you have a good day, and then
he'd go to get in a nice car andthey'd turn around Girl, they'd
be running back tapping on thewindows all that kind of stuff
that's so terrible.
Cracks me up, cracks me up, andit's amazing that that's what
our young generation has come to.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
And not even just young, because there's some
older ones in there too.
So we can't blame the youngkids mean acting.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
We can't blame the young kids.
You saw his nice car and thenall of a sudden, but I can tell
you right now a lot of peoplewith a lot of things that
they're.
That don't mean they'regenerous show don't.
I want a generous man and that.
And a generous man is a giverand he don't have to have all
that money.
He might finds a way to makeyou feel special.
(15:40):
And generosity doesn't meanmoney, it does not, it doesn't,
it doesn't mean money.
So I think now when I, when I'mout and I see men, I just see
them differently, you know.
So, yeah, your credit score isimportant to me because I know
what your credit score can dofor us, for us.
If you got bad credit, okay,let's, let's get your credit
(16:01):
fixed.
That don't mean I won't, Iwon't talk to you.
Okay, now we don't keep get,keep getting it fixed.
Right, that part, but it isthat, because you know but it's
your.
It's because now I look at moneydifferent.
Yeah, I look at moneydifferently.
Um prime example, we're goingto close on a investment
(16:22):
property credit.
They looked at credit, theywanted to see bank statements
and now they're financing 93% wedon't have to come to the table
with no money because you hadthe credit, you have the this
and now you can go to go and buyit, buy investment property.
So we have the potential topurchase this property,
(16:46):
literally coming to the tablewith like ten thousand dollars.
Ok, and we, you know we'regetting that whole other that's
a whole nother conversation ofhow you don't even have to have
ten thousand dollars.
But do you have good credit?
Do you have a credit card thatyou got five thousand on this
one and five thousand on thisone credit?
Do you have a credit card thatyou got 5,000 on this one and
5,000 on this one?
Now you can go get you a house,a house and the people will
(17:06):
give you the loan to fix it up,and now I'm going to flip this
house and this potential home isa hundred thousand dollar
profit.
But if your house ain't in order, see, now I'm looking at men
differently because I want somethings in my life and I want you
to be able.
What can we do together?
So that whole topic of what youbring to the table are you
(17:27):
bringing a credit score to thetable?
That's what I need.
I need you to have good credit,because if you got good credit.
I can help you If you alreadydon't know how to leverage your
credit to be able to get accessto funding.
To what you want to start abusiness, baby, you know to what
you want to start a businessbaby.
You know what business you wantto start.
You got good credit okay, let meshow you how you can get the
money to start that businessbecause you got a good credit
(17:49):
score.
So when I look at men, I'll youknow my look is a little
differently right now.
It's a little, it's just, it'sjust different, but I don't know
if that's age, is that maturity?
Is that education?
I don't know what it is.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
I think all of it.
And life experiences.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
I think it's all of it, and I think that um
everybody look for somethingdifferent right so, like you
said, I love power, I wantcredit.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
I'm attracted.
You know what I?
Speaker 2 (18:14):
mean everybody have something different?
Did they just they want and orneed?
You know what I mean in arelationship?
Now, I do think that'simportant.
I'm not maturity we're notgoing backwards and trying to
figure out the credit and getyour score up and all of that
(18:35):
stuff Like that's over, right,Right.
But yeah, it's just foreverybody, it's something
different.
Yeah, no, I still like sexy,though now Don't get me wrong,
Because you know it's just foreverybody.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
It's something different.
I still like sexy, though nowDon't get me wrong, Because you
know she's still got topercolate when I see her Right.
But you want to make mepercolate?
Come with a good credit score.
Oh geez, Come with a goodcredit score.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
Maybe I'm at a 9.10.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
You know what I'm saying.
Well, I like to see a manthat's at this age of my life
doing this thing.
Whatever that is, I don't evencare.
That's what I'm saying, yourprofession is not important to
me anymore.
You know, back in the day youwanted a man that did this or
you wanted to do that.
That's not important to meanymore.
What are you doing now and inyour fifties?
I don't have a lot of time forpeople.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
That's fixing to or getting ready to, or one day I
want to.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
And I'm going.
Well, when does that day start?
Because we in our 50s- bro.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Yeah, it's like the 40-something wanting to be a
rapper, what?
Speaker 1 (19:31):
He's still chasing that career, but it's what you
said Tell me wrong, becauseKiller Mike just won all kind of
Grammys.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
Yeah, and all that kind of stuff Shout out to
Killer Mike, but he was stillchasing the dream to get there.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Yeah, at 40-something , I hear you 40-something, you
can't tell me.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
I'm still trying to be a rapper, so I'm still saying
that, Well, if not, then whenit's like to me, it's never too
late to try to do what you wantto do.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
But remember, we just said we're all different.
We just said we're alldifferent.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
I mean we all want something different.
So for me, you guys, it's justnot my life.
For me, I'm looking at whatyou're doing.
It's not that you, it's notthat you can't.
First of all, you know, you canalways start something new.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Yeah, it's never too late.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
It's never too late, but I think I'm over the dreamer
yeah, I think I.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
We dreamed back then.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Now you got in your 50s, you got to be doing.
Doing it got to be in motion.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Even if you're not.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
I'm not where I want to be.
I'm not where I want to be, butI'm still.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
I don't think any of us are.
I'm still trying to get there.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
I'm still trying to get there.
But that person that sits backand just say, one day I'm going
to well, when is one day?
When you're in your 50s?
Speaker 3 (20:39):
When they wait for you to help them do it.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
When you're in your 50s.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
So yeah, so I'm you know.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
But it's just, these are our own preferences, these
are our own experiences thatwe've had, and it's just been
amazing to me how our maleaudience has something to say
Privately, though privately,comment.
Look whichever camera, commenton if you got something to say I
got.
Privately, though privatelycomment whichever camera.
Yeah, comment.
(21:05):
If you got something to say,comment on it?
Yeah, we look at comments, werespond we look at all the
comments yeah, you ain't got tocall privately, you ain't got to
text privately and a hit dogwill holler the conversation
might not even have been aboutyou, and I think it's
interesting.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
I think I talked to you.
I may have said something toyou, aunt Stephanie, but we did
that one on marriage with Cheryland You're either married or
you're single right.
Right and so several peopleactually said something to my
boo about she's sitting outthere talking about she's single
.
What are y'all talking about?
Like I'm not married.
(21:44):
The people that reach out andsay something to her about this
podcast thing.
It's like crazy, I'm not, andthe fact that I had to talk
about that?
Yeah, and based on what washappening, you were married or
you were single Right.
What are we talking about?
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Or married and unmarried, right, but they're
watching and make comments toyou.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Right, they are watching, but that's why Y'all
know, I told y'all I don't evengo back and watch and look at
the comments, because you knowmy personality can't take it
your personality disorder.
I can't.
I'm too wired for all of that.
Like what?
Speaker 1 (22:25):
What are we doing, but to your?
Speaker 2 (22:27):
point they are watching.
Yeah, but why y'all have to dothat negative stuff?
It's just ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
It's funny, it's funny, it's the world.
We making your life hard overthere, stephanie.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
It's funny, it's funny.
So we start making your lifehard over there, stephanie, but
it's already hard.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
I mean, I'm sure it's hard.
One of the things we talkedabout is that grieving you know
when it's over it is, you haveto mourn and grieve.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
It doesn't mean it's easy.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
You know those kind of decisions are, they're just
really hard.
And then when you get on hereand you're making all of us,
when we're saying things we'renot none of us are like this.
We're not saying anythingnegative towards the person we
were with currently with at all.
We're having generalizedconversations like talking about
men.
I'm not even one of them, God,but I sit here and have these
(23:15):
conversations right, and shecould be like, well, damn, I
want people to know, but that'snot what we're doing.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
We're just having generalized conversations.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
And so we can't just take everything and personalize
it to ourself to appeasesomebody else.
You kind of need you, not kindof.
You need people who are strongenough to withstand whatever
you're talking about and they'reokay because they know that
y'all are good, mm-hmm you'rejust having a conversation.
(23:46):
So it is what you said the hitdogs will have conversations.
The feedback that follow up isa lot from the guys apart that
you've had our conversationabout boundaries yeah, about
boundaries.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
And I, you know, I'm the first person to tell
everybody don't listen to me,because you will be single,
because I.
One thing I have learned andit's taken me time to get here
is I have very strict and firmboundaries.
If it disrupts my peace, ohabsolutely.
If it disrupts my peace, if youand I are in a relationship and
(24:20):
we are no longer together, Idon't need to call you no more
and there's no conversation.
We don't need to talk.
I'm okay with that.
But what you're not gonna do iscall me with your tricks
because something has triggeredyou and now you need to project
that back onto me.
We're together.
We're not together if we're nottogether what I could say.
(24:41):
Whatever I want to say about howI feel and my feelings, my
perspective, same way you can dothe same about your feelings
and all those kind of things.
But what you can't do is callme to bother me with your right
no, I agree with that 100.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
That's called setting boundaries, I agree with that
100%.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
That's called setting boundaries 100%.
I agree with that.
You cannot disrupt my peace andyou're in a mourning period.
This is a mourning period, sothat constant antagonizing that
just keeps ripping the band-aidback off, yeah, you got to heal.
Give yourself time to heal, andthat's when you got to set
boundaries.
Set boundaries.
(25:16):
And you know, and I know, your,your ex, I like him, me too,
from what I know of him, but I'mnot in a relationship with him.
You know, you know what I'msaying.
I like him and so it's no, it'sthat's what I'm saying.
It's never, it's not anythingnegative.
That's the same thing with meand my ex-husband.
My ex-husband, my ex-husband isa great guy.
(25:37):
We're just not meant to betogether.
It don't take away from himbeing a great guy he's not a bad
that's what
Speaker 2 (25:43):
I'm like and you've never said anything about him
he's like man, he's so much fun,or whatever.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
And because the two of you don't make it in a
relationship, don't take awayany from who from him from him
being a great guy or you being agreat woman.
It just weren't meant for y'alltwo to be together.
Yeah, that's it, you know.
But?
Speaker 3 (26:00):
all that.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
No, she'll be.
Yeah, I know, but that constantthis, this, this, that just
keeps ripping that band-aid backoff, You're going to have to
set your boundaries Because Imight have some shit I need him
to fix around here one day.
So don't be mad.
I'll be like Stephanie, y'allcool.
Yet I'm going to find somebodyelse and I'll be like can you
call him?
And let him come fix that overthere for me, because he good at
(26:24):
what he do he great he is.
But not over here.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
I'm not petty like that and I know you're not.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
And you know that's a whole other conversation, right
, that is a whole notherconversation.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
Right Like for real.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
That is a whole nother conversation about exes
and then those connections.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
My ex-husband.
We're going to be filming anepisode in Jamaica in a couple
of weeks.
Ok, all four of us will betogether in Jamaica.
I called and invited myex-husband and his wife to come,
that's so progressive Becausemy son is going to be there.
My son is going to be there.
My son is going to be there andwe've never all been in the
same, whatever.
At the same time, I don't haveanything against his current
(27:07):
wife.
He's a great guy.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
That's an interesting topic.
So, progressive, and let metell you why that's an
interesting topic.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Because, oh my gosh, that would be a really good
topic.
Okay, well, we're going to holdit there for another episode,
then that's a good topic Becauseit's so progressive, it's so
progressive that I can just hearall the comments.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
Maybe we all set up.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Well, we already know we're going to have to talk
about that next episode.
We're going to have to talkabout that next episode because
we're going to get off of here.
We we're going to have to talkabout that next episode because
we're going to get off of here.
We miss you, evonja, we do.
We miss you, but we're done fortoday.
But listen, man, we are nottalking about you at all.
Look in every camera, all right, at all we are not talking
about you.
We are talking about ourexperiences.
(27:49):
But we would love to hear fromyou.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
We would love to hear from you.
So we would love to hear fromyou.
So that was just a littlepeople.
Yeah, in general, we would loveto hear from you.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Comment.
Comment.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Share, subscribe.
Leave our we all know we gotvoicemail Leave our.
Leave a voicemail for us If youhave a topic you want us to
talk about and then I think wewere talking about Stephanie
brought it up too we're going tostart doing some lives.
Come on and talk to us.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Come on and talk to us live.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Ask some questions, defend yourself.
Yeah, dog me out, since youfeel like you need to defend
yourself, all those kind ofthings.
But anyway, y'all this isTimeless and Unfiltered.
I'm Legra, I'm Stephanie, I'm.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Cherise, and we're missing.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Avanya, but we're going to keep coming back
spilling it to your midlife onelife at to talk to y'all later.
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