March 11, 2025 • 35 mins
Let's talk about self-care and personal development, queens! 👑 As busy women juggling multiple responsibilities, we often forget about our own wellness tips and self-awareness. Whether you're looking to level up your hygiene routine or just need some self-help guidance, this episode is your safe space to explore what self-care means to you. Share your journey with us! 💕
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I want to talk about self-care.
As busy as we are, differentdirections, we're running in and
traveling and I just kind ofwant to talk to you, ladies,
about what you do for self-care.
I need help.
We do so much and we do so muchfor everybody you know, and we
(00:20):
just sit back and be like damnI'm tired.
And then when you have children, think about how often you have
to show up for your kids.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
I mean regardless of their age, because who said to
stop at 18?
That was the biggest lie theyever told it don't.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
This is Legra.
Speaker 5 (00:39):
This is Stephanie.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
This is Cherie and this is Evanya.
Stephanie, this is Cherie andthis is Ivanya.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
And this is Timeless and Unfiltered, where we are
spilling the tea on midlife, onelaugh at a time.
We are back for another episodeof Timeless and Unfiltered and
y'all make sure y'all follow uson all social media platforms at
timeless and unfiltered, go toour website at timeless and
(01:10):
unfilteredcom and subscribe onyoutube if y'all want to take a
look and catch us doing ourthing on video but anyway, this
is legra this is stephanie, thisis sharice evania.
And again, this is timeless andunfiltered where we are here to
spill the tea on midlife.
One laugh at a time, one laughat a time.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
What's going on?
Nothing and everything.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
We just busy.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Yeah, always, always, always busy.
What's going on with y'all?
That's it.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
No, I think for me guys, I want to talk about
self-care, because as busy as weare and the different
directions we're running in andtraveling and work and scooters
and whatever else we have goingon, I just kind of want to talk
(02:01):
to you ladies about what you dofor self-care.
I need help, I mean, but likeokay, but for real y'all we can,
and I think it's for womenperiod.
We do so much, and we do somuch for everybody.
(02:25):
You know, and we just sit backand be like damn I'm tired.
And then, when you havechildren, think about how, how
often you really have to show upfor your kids.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
I mean regardless of their age, because who said to
stop at 18?
Speaker 1 (02:38):
that was the biggest lie they ever told right, it
don't um the biggest lie, and solike we're caught, don't Right
and don't the biggest lie, andso like we're constantly, don't
stop.
So I think we constantly moveand, to be honest, being where
we are in our moment of middleage and trying to figure it out
(03:02):
and still having to carry forlack of a better term some of
the burdens or try to release it, whichever one that is, at the
same time can be a bit taxing.
I think it just comes intotrying to build some boundaries
to protect yourself, but stilltrying to be loving and
(03:23):
intentional to the people thatyou love.
And so it's like how do we?
How do I self-care myself?
Like I think I'm doing okay,right, but what does that really
look like?
What does it really mean?
Like what are you guys?
Speaker 5 (03:37):
doing.
We're special creatures.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
I want to say that as far as being women because of
everything we go through.
Speaker 5 (03:45):
We go through periods , we go through childbirth, we
go through menopause.
We're just like naturalnurturers and so we just want to
take care of everything andeverybody.
I think it's just innate, it'sjust who we are, and so it is
important for us to figure outwell, how do I take care of
(04:05):
myself, and at what point do youbegin taking care of yourself?
I've noticed one thing aboutthe younger generation, the
younger women they don't play.
I see them on social media.
They do a lot of self-care.
And I'm like man I never.
I didn't even think about itback then.
I guess because I was raisingchildren.
I never thought well, when thekids go down, do something for
(04:26):
yourself.
I just was doing something elseto prepare for the next day so.
I think for me.
I'm just now coming into theself care the older I've gotten
it now that my kids are gone andeven though they're gone,
they're not gone right.
But now I have the boundarieswhere they're like monkey, I
know and I can't, and now I'mstarting to do more for myself,
(04:47):
whereas I wasn't.
But I applaud the younger womenthat started early.
What kind of things are youdoing Getting my lashes done.
I don't know what my lashes myreal lashes look like anymore.
I've had them for years.
I got a Bomb Girl Shout out toteacher Christy Beauty, but
(05:08):
that's the one thing.
If I don't do my nails, whichy'all see, I'll throw on some
press-ons real quick because Ifind out that they're becoming
too much to spend money on andI'm like this is just ridiculous
.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
They're expensive now .
They used to be $20 to go get apool set.
Speaker 5 (05:24):
Now it's $65.
And I'm like yeah, press on,press me on.
And I would say the one thingthat I do do faithfully is my
lashes, and I do my own hair andstuff.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Because you will color your hair in a minute.
Speaker 5 (05:40):
Color, cut, curl something, and I do that for
myself.
I have the money to go do it,but I'm like use that money on
something else and then I'llspend um more money on myself if
I see a purse I want or shoes,because back in the day I
couldn't with all them kids.
Now I'm like I just do whateverI want to do and buy what I
want to buy, and so now I'mfinally taking care of myself.
(06:02):
That's just my form ofself-care just indulging on
myself for once and not caringand telling kids yeah, I ain't
got it, but I'm about to go buythis bag I don't have it for you
, but I'm about to go buy thisbag for me because I feel like
I've sacrificed a
Speaker 4 (06:18):
lot now shit we do we do what about?
Speaker 2 (06:24):
you.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Ivania.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
So I suffer from anxiety.
So I feel like self-care for meis kind of pausing and taking a
moment when I realize thosemoments are coming.
So now it's just more of justbreathing.
So I do have certain apps ormusic that I listen to that calm
me down.
I started getting facials everymonth.
So shout out to Tiffany.
I started getting my hair donetwice a month.
(06:45):
All right, all right.
Shout out to Dominique Allright, all right.
Things that I couldn't do, I'llsay, even three, four years ago
.
Speaker 5 (06:53):
So now I'm starting to do these things for me.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Not my hands, but my feet done it's okay, all the
time I keep those done.
Sometimes it's just sitting inbed and not doing anything.
I think sometimes self-care isjust not doing anything Because
we're always doing something,we're always looking for.
I have to do this, Even in myhead.
I have to do this.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Sometimes it's just doing nothing, which is rare.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
But to do nothing sometimes is the best thing you
can do for self-care.
And I think I want to do thatmore often.
It is Sometimes it's justtalking to a friend.
It's okay, like you know, justchilling and hey girl, what you
doing, how you doing.
So it's a lot of things, butyou know.
I'm getting better at doingmore for me, because you know
you do have this list of thingsyou have to take care of
everything of.
But now putting myself at thetop of that list has been my
(07:36):
self-care.
Speaker 5 (07:36):
That's fun.
I actually find joy just layingin my bed and not doing nothing
all day, Because I don't get todo that that often and I just
feel so lazy.
But I feel so proud and so goodthat I'm just lazy and I just
get to actually watch somethingon TV.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
God, it's so hard for me to do it here, like at home
or in the United States.
It's so hard for me becausethere's just it's still for lack
of a better term the noisestill comes in for me.
You know what I mean whenpeople know you're here, you're
home, you're whatever, it'sstill ringing.
And so, now that I'm thinkingabout it, yeah, but self-care is
(08:17):
when I'm gone, because whenyou're gone out of the country,
when you think about it peopleknow you're not home or you're
gone, so they leave you alone.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
That's true, yeah, like everybody leaves you alone
when you're gone.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Yeah, I think that's why I travel so much.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
You think that's why you travel so much yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Now that I've done it , I might have just had a
breakthrough.
Speaker 5 (08:34):
Yeah, right now.
Yeah, and that makes sense.
And when you said that that'sthe most enjoyable time time for
me, when I'm away and peoplemay not be able to reach me on
my phone, like I go on a cruise,I don't have my phone out at
all.
I can't even say the whole timeand no one can call me, no one
can bother me and I could just.
That is really self care to getaway to wake up.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
You don't have to worry about the time.
What's happening and aware isthe same thing is still really
going on here but you're justgone, you're in charge.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
You just take it out of your brain.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
So, yeah.
I already know when I retire.
I'm living in Costa Rica fortwo months and Mexico for two
months.
Speaker 5 (09:19):
Stay away from everybody.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
And I'm going somewhere else for two months
and I'm just about to just be anomad because we're going to
miss you we're going to miss you.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
Where are you at, girl?
We're coming down.
We're going to miss you.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
We just talked about going to Mexico City together.
No, we're going to do thistogether.
You're going to do what I dowant to go to Mexico City.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
We're going to mexico city together but it's, it's
amazing, I really do like it,but yeah, I, yeah, I realize
that my self-care is away,getting away from it my
self-care?
Speaker 3 (09:56):
I don't think I really do self-care just to be
honest um, but I need to.
It's.
It's little things and I thinkjust because when you have a
health scare, all of a suddeneverything your world becomes
that.
So you know, I get thehydration IVs, that's good.
Which I actually really love and, as a matter of fact, after
(10:18):
this surgery, this upcomingsurgery, I'll get back on my
schedule.
But I bought a membership toget hydration IVs and the great
thing about it is they have somany different kinds.
Like I always do it before Itravel, they have an immunity IV
to boost up your immune system,and vitamin C and all that
stuff.
You know I'm trying to grow myhair back and all that stuff.
(10:41):
They have one that's for skinnails, biotin, you know, and the
great thing about it is, withthe, the IVs one is I don't
drink enough water.
Let's start with that.
I don't, just I don't drinkenough water.
It's equivalent of drinkinglike two and a half gallons of
water.
Love it because it's injecteddirectly into your vein, so like
(11:03):
when you drink regular water.
That's why you got to pee everyfive minutes.
A lot of it has not beenabsorbed into your system.
Versus when it's injected intoyour bloodstream, you're getting
100% of whatever you're puttingin your bloodstream V12, they
have the.
Myers cocktail, which is themost common one, has all your
(11:27):
vitamins, minerals and all thatstuff that your body is supposed
to have.
So I've been really luckybecause after chemo and where
chemo tears you down, I startedgoing getting IVs.
I was getting IVs every week.
Remember, I was going everysingle week and built my body
back up like replenish all myvitamins and minerals and all
(11:49):
that stuff, but it makes me feelamazing, especially after um.
You know you get some energyand b12 and right all of that
stuff.
You know your vitamin d is low.
That's another thing, ladies,that yeah, as africanAmericans,
our vitamin D is naturally lower, for whatever reason.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 5 (12:08):
We're not out in the sun.
I don't have enough scientific,even though we're sun people.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
We don't have enough scientific background.
Speaker 5 (12:13):
We're inside more.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Yeah, we're not in the sun as much, yeah, so I get
vitamin D shots.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
That's great, and you're stretching right yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Oh yeah, stretching right.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Yeah, oh yeah, um, I started stretch zone, um they
had which I never knew, thateven existed because all the
aches, the pains, your jointsand let's just be honest that
that leg don't go up all the wayup?
Speaker 2 (12:33):
no more.
Hell.
The knee don't even be right,no more you know all of that.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
So there's a place um .
They have different places thatwill just do nothing but
stretch your body for you.
So they go in and kind of testand see how far you can go and
all that good stuff.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
So you're going to split some, right?
Speaker 3 (12:52):
No, I couldn't do a split then.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
We're going to split.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
I was that little girl that could never do splits.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Shatice and I are working on doing a split.
What y'all doing to work on?
Speaker 3 (13:05):
it.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
You just have to stretch every day, like you
would be surprised how lowyou'll start getting when you
start doing it.
But you really have to stretchthe muscles.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
Well, right now I can't even bend down to get to
the floor.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Well, your stretch class is going to get you there,
but I am determined that I amgoing to do a split with baby
girl.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
I love it.
I want to do a split and I wantto twerk.
Oh, so you want to?
Speaker 5 (13:29):
do a split.
We need a twerk class.
I do.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
I do want to twerk.
Don't laugh at your mama.
I want to twerk.
I mean I don't want to.
Don't get me wrong, I'm notgoing to be one of them.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
Old ass.
Andrea Kelly does that.
Yeah, she do.
She could do a split end.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
She's also a trained professional dancer.
Speaker 5 (13:48):
She's been doing this all her life.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
But my body as the athlete girl stuff didn't wiggle
like that.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
My butt was always so firm.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
I was like why it don't wiggle?
Like that and don't be wrong,it's not about you having a big
butt or whatever, because I'veseen the smallest and littlest
skinny girl but for whateverreason, my butt don't move like
that and I just want to do it soI can have it in my sexual
prowess repertoire from the lastepisode.
Speaker 5 (14:20):
For that little man Right.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
He's a little man, he's going to blow his mind.
I episode that little man he'sgoing to blow his mind.
He's going to blow his mind.
I want to learn how to twerk mybutt.
Don't twerk.
For some reason it can.
I want it, so look so forself-care.
Well, I used to belly dance.
Speaker 5 (14:35):
Yeah, and it was cold .
That's what I was going tobring up.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
I used to belly dance .
Speaker 2 (14:40):
I still know how to do all the moves and all that
kind of stuff.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
But I love that and I keep saying I'm going to find
me another class and stuff.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
But what I?
Speaker 3 (14:48):
loved about.
It was the largest theinstructor that I had at the
time.
She made you you had if youwere wearing a t-shirt, you had
to tie a knot in the front, youhad to have your stomach out.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
She didn't care if you had the biggest stomach in
the world, but I'm going to tellyou it's women and we're women
in there.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
I guarantee you pushing 300 pounds and they was
in there, but they lookedbeautiful.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
There's something about it.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
It makes you feel sexy yeah and the way, even
their stomach, the way that itrolled, even though they had
large stomachs, the way thatthey could control it and roll
their stomachs.
But you can sit back and watchand you can see that woman just
transform.
Like you come in and you, youknow you're all in your clothes
and now you know, like youdidn't did the warm-up exercises
and then once, especially thewomen that had you know a little
(15:38):
bit of background in or havetaken several classes, you can
see how the sexiness just cameout of them, that they felt sexy
.
They felt sexy, it looked sexy,it didn't matter what size you
were and honestly, in theirculture, that culture, the
bigger women are the sexy women,so they it was beautiful, I
(15:58):
loved it.
I loved how it made you feel andI loved you could see it in the
other women how it made themfeel.
Love that.
So I would love to be able totake start belly dancing again.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Find a class.
You know I'm gonna follow youCause she is so good at it.
No, not anymore.
No, you were and I was like oh,gosh, I want to do it now you
would
Speaker 3 (16:20):
show us like it's very, it's very easy.
Well, no, let me repeat it,it's not easy, it's not just
isolating and controlling yeah,I think it's a mind thing.
Yeah, but now I feel like I'mso stiff and my joints ache and
my knees it, will it really?
Will so that, but there's a lotof things I'm going to do.
(16:42):
You know this is this should bemy last surgery.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Well, this will be my last surgery and there's a lot
of things that I want to do, butI was a gym rat.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
I love the gym and you know, part of my therapy,
part of my self-care, will bealso therapy, because I've
developed some anxiety that Inever had before.
So I need to figure out what'sgoing on with that, because
that'll help me to get back outand do some of the things that I
(17:10):
want to do.
But I look forward to all thethings.
I want to dance more.
Now I don't know where we'regoing to dance dance at it's
considered we ain't got nowhereto go.
Calories is there no but yeah, Iwant to dance more.
I want to.
I love my ivs.
Um, I love my facials and andstuff as well.
(17:32):
I I love my Netflix days.
I love our girlfriend times out.
I love and I just said toSharice I think I told you too,
stephanie like we need to allget together in our EPs and just
celebrate this.
You know I love when it'ssomebody's birthday.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
That's self-care to me.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
Like when I'm with my friends.
That's part of my self-care.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Just letting go?
I think we don't.
I don't know how to let go.
And when I say let go, I thinkeverything have to happen now,
especially the entrepreneurialside of you.
You just feel like gosh, I haveto do this and I don't know if
it's control some well, part ofit is control, but you, you and
(18:15):
I have tried to pass things offand when things aren't done,
correctly and you have to goback and do it again yourself.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
anyway, you're like, well, hell, I might as well just
do it, so you can't release thecontrol, but we have to figure
it out.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
We have to figure it out so that we can enjoy truly
enjoy the fruits of our life.
Take breaks and enjoy thefruits of our life take breaks
and enjoy the food and whatever.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
And I love traveling, oh my gosh, traveling is
self-care one of the best tripsever and we have been to some
great places.
I just come back from egypt.
Um, I know you love hawaii, yes, and we don't know where the
hell to find you, honey.
You be everywhere, you know.
You just come back from MexicoCity.
(18:59):
All of that, but my bestest andfavoritest, most wonderfulest
trip was when we went to Orlando.
It didn't even matter that itwas, you know, stateside it was
just a few hours.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
It was because we got to hang out.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Together, you know you brought your spouses and
girlfriends and our kids, ouradult children.
Adult.
Adult children, you know, andwe just got to just hang out.
I missed most of that I didyeah we had a ball.
Speaker 5 (19:30):
Because I got cold.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (19:32):
And left.
It was cold.
I had never been so cold in myno in the house.
It was cold.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
She said it was cold in the house.
I couldn't.
Speaker 5 (19:41):
I was freezing upstairs and I couldn't take any
more.
I was like, oh God, rememberthey didn't have a lot of,
because it's Florida.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
It's just.
Speaker 5 (19:53):
We went to the store.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
We went to Walmart, brought us some blankets.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
And washcloths.
It's just, I can't stand.
We went to the store.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
We went to Walmart.
Bought us some blankets mmhmm,that's too many words.
Speaker 5 (19:58):
Washcloths right and washcloths but the time I was
there, yeah, we all went out toeat and just hanging around the
house talking shit mmhmm cooking.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
We had good food that was great, nothing special, but
it's part of the self care,it's fellowship, right it's?
Speaker 1 (20:11):
fellowship and it wasn't work.
Yeah, yes, it was not work,right, so it didn't matter where
we were, we had a great time,it was great, so I'm looking
forward to being able to do moreof that.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Um, I'm looking forward to I don't know, we have
never been out dancing ellery'sokay we're gonna go to eloise,
we're just going.
Speaker 5 (20:34):
Y'all are going to have the best time of y'all life
.
It's a dance club for olderpeople.
Everybody in there dances.
The dance floor is never empty.
You just have gentlemen come upand say can I dance with you?
You're like yeah, it's justgreat, it's an old people dance
club.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
They're going to have all purple suits with purple
shoes.
Speaker 5 (20:55):
All yellow, shoes with yellow shoes.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
You're going to cut a rug.
All red suits with red hats.
Speaker 5 (21:01):
And they're going to take you back to your seat.
Thank you, young lady.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
They ain't buying drinks.
Speaker 5 (21:07):
Yeah, they ain't buying drinks, they just going
to stand, you ready to danceagain.
No, but you have a good time.
It's just genuinely a good time.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
You know what.
So I don't even know if I candance like that anymore.
You'll be Well, they can either.
Speaker 5 (21:20):
So they'll be out there cutting the rug, because I
used to dance a lot and all youneed is that little two-step
that's all we old people do yougot those little One and two.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
One and two.
You see me like that Likethat's what we'll do.
Speaker 5 (21:32):
That's what we?
Young lady.
One and two, one and two, oneand two, that's it Okay.
Will you really?
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Are you doing all that?
I'm doing some.
Speaker 4 (21:46):
Oh they're going to love that.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
They're going to love it.
They're going to drag heroutside.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
They're going to wash the front door.
The lady going to disappear.
Where are you?
Some lady gonna disappear.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Somebody's gonna have a heart attack but it's a good
time to be had in here.
Speaker 5 (22:03):
It really is, stephanie, you plan it okay, for
real, I'm playing because youtalk about it all the time.
You keep saying we need to go,we're gonna dance, we're gonna
go.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
I'm gonna tell you the last time that I went out,
y'all gonna crack a laugh and ohgod um, I didn't know they
existed.
I actually went to a place thatwas for Mediterranean men and
women were in there.
Speaker 4 (22:25):
So the belly dancing.
Speaker 5 (22:27):
Cafe.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Istanbul.
No, it wasn't Cafe Istanbul.
No, this was actually a club.
But for their people and theydanced on the tables.
Was it Alparazza?
Speaker 5 (22:44):
No, no it was more um , um Tucker.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Shambly some kind of that area um of Atlanta, but
yeah, but the funny thing wasthey were playing Mediterranean
music.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
They were breaking plates and stuff all over the
place they were.
They were dancing on tablesplace.
They were dancing on tables.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
The women were dancing on tables.
I mean, I'm talking about like,if you wanted to just get up on
the table, you could dance onthe table and all that kind of
stuff, but they were playing ourmusic.
Speaker 5 (23:11):
Wait a minute.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
But it was like in my full bottom jeans On top of our
music.
Speaker 3 (23:16):
Yes, but it might have been apple bottom jeans.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
In their language, but it wasn't Nelly.
Speaker 5 (23:23):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
It was Mohammed Singing Apple Bottom Jeans.
That is so neat, but you'resitting there like You're
sitting there like that's notNelly.
Yeah, you're sitting there likethat's the last time that I've
been on.
It's been that long how longago.
(23:45):
Oh my God, really, yeah, it'sbeen that long.
Oh damn, it's been that longFor real.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
Look at the opening line we're going to get out.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
We're going to get out.
I'm going to see my therapistfirst.
Speaker 5 (23:59):
No, you can get out before then I got to see my
therapist.
We're planning everything.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
You're going to see your therapist and we're going
to take a belly dancing class.
Y'all going to love it?
Speaker 5 (24:08):
Yeah, I know I will.
You're going to love it.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
First of all, it's actually exercise.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
You don't think you're going to be sweating, but
you will sweat.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
It's because it is actually cardio and exercise,
but it comes handy in otherareas.
Speaker 5 (24:23):
Listen, I'm going to the grocery store.
Behind my thing, you know whatI learned.
I'm going down the aisle.
They be like this lady.
What is she doing?
I'm going to be terrible if Ilearn how to do it.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
It is so funny, but you're going to learn to isolate
different parts of your bodyEverywhere.
Speaker 5 (24:40):
Everywhere I'm showing out.
You're going to kill, right,You're going to kill, Not even
for that.
I'm talking about just walkingdown the street.
No, that's not.
Hey, they be like she done.
Learned how to belly dance.
I been wanting to.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Yeah, I can do it, ooh.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Yeah, I love it Look right, I'm adding this exercise,
you're just doing that I'mtired what else is just eight?
You just ain't gonna blame iton the food shoot.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
We're gonna blame it on the food, but yeah, so you
gotta take care of yourself.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
We are, we are stretched thin, we are very busy
.
We we taking care of other,everybody we're taking care of
businesses, which meansclients're taking care of
businesses which means clients.
Because, clients seem like youknow you got to set them
boundaries with your clientsbecause they think they can call
you any time of morning anytime of night.
Because you work at night.
You think you're supposed tocall me when you get off.
Right.
You know all those kind ofthings, but we're stretched very
(25:36):
, very thin.
Speaker 5 (25:37):
All women are, so I think it's important for all
women to take a break and takecare of themselves sooner or it
will show Sooner.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
And your health?
Speaker 3 (25:46):
Yeah, it will manifest in your health, your
stress, mm-hmm.
Your finances.
Yep, your hair start thinning.
Speaker 4 (25:54):
Yeah, you know all those different things Stress
down and y'all see thesewrinkle-free faces.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Y'all see these, honey, and y'all see these
wrinkle-free faces, honey.
This is called timeless overhere.
This is called timeless overhere, y'all see, these
wrinkle-free faces, y'all seethese wrinkle-free faces.
Speaker 5 (26:08):
I got something on my forehead.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
You better take care of yourself.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
Not a little Botox won't fix my head.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
One thing we didn't really delve into is the therapy
.
Speaker 5 (26:21):
That's a better form of self-care.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Speaking to somebody, a professional sometimes about
some of the things we're goingthrough can be a form of therapy
and self-care for us as well.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Oh yeah, I know I'm going to start my therapy.
Speaker 5 (26:34):
My therapist got to get ready because she's going to
every week be tuning in like.
Game of Thrones because I gotso much to unpack.
She's going to be like man Okay, Every week.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
I didn't know where you was going.
Speaker 5 (26:45):
Okay, I need, yeah, I need a lot.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
Yeah, I do.
Come sit on the couch, you do,baby.
She said I need a lot oftherapy.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
A whole sitcom.
So what?
Speaker 5 (26:55):
happened again this week, so then I went into the
yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
I went into the.
It's going to be a lot.
Speaker 5 (27:01):
Your therapist is going to need therapy after me
it's going to be a whole sitcom.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
But we do.
It's the best thing.
I can truly say, though, thathas been the best thing ever for
me.
I've come full circle and Iknow I'm a very different person
because of it, because we needour therapist, our OBGYN, yep,
pediatricians.
If you have little kids, wedon't what was that we're making
sure everything's right.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
We're just making sure everything's right.
Our hairdressers.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
You know, there's just some people we just got to
have on deck.
But a therapist needs to reallybe a part of that.
Speaker 5 (27:37):
I don't know why we run from it, but, um, I think
we're busy because I want to sayfor me I always said I'm I'm
gonna go to therapy, but reallyI'm like when do I have they're?
Speaker 1 (27:45):
all online now you could do it online you don't
have to leave, so, but that is apart of self-care taking the
time to even do that yeah,because you find time for
everything else you need to doand everybody else.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
Yeah, you gotta find the time for you to get what you
need to Talk these people headoff.
Speaker 5 (28:02):
Yeah, that's what they're there for.
Yeah.
We can have one coming near you, oh goodness.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Well we're not gonna play a game today, but I think
we have a caller.
And again, you guys follow uson all our social media
platforms.
We put up questions every week,a couple of different questions
, questions.
You do not have to write us.
Y'all can leave us a voicemail,go to timeless and
unfilteredcom and leave usavoicemail right through our
(28:32):
website.
You don't have to tell us yourwhole full name.
You got to worry about it.
Just this is legra from georgia.
You know, which is just fine,and we want to hear from you.
Speaker 5 (28:44):
Well, it requires that before you close out.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Yeah, so we can put you on our email list, but call
in and participate.
We want to hear from you, wewant to feel you, we want to
hear your emotions.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
We don't want the anonymous callers, because those
might be the best callers, theanonymous callers Well we got a
couple that made someinteresting calls.
Speaker 4 (29:03):
Let's see who we have today For my self-care when I
wake in the morning, the firstthing I do is make myself a cup
of coffee and go into my prayerroom and pray and meditate for
myself, my family and my friends.
It gives me the calm I need tostart my day.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Now, how do we forget Jesus?
Y'all are heathens.
Speaker 5 (29:30):
God is my center.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
He knows my heart.
Speaker 5 (29:33):
How do we forget?
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Jesus.
Speaker 5 (29:35):
But that's great and she said she started off with
her coffee.
Coffee and Jesus.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
Coffee come before Jesus.
Jesus coffee.
No, jesus coffee, jesus coffee.
Oh goodness, I have to not tomake this a religious thing, but
I have to say that when I'm offcenter I got to get in the
closet.
Oh yeah, I got to get in thecloset when I'm off center and
sometimes I don't realize I'moff center.
(30:01):
And then I also read a bookcalled the Prayer of Jabez.
Y'all probably heard me saythat 10,000 times.
I told y'all to read the book.
It worked.
In the name of Jesus, it worked,so I can't believe I didn't say
oh my God, I got to pray andmeditate.
But I'm so off center Sometimes, when the noise won't stop, I
(30:26):
try to pray, and then sometimesI'll just say I'm not even going
to pray, I'm just going to sitstill because I can't pray like
when I try to pray then and thenlike all these other things be
coming in, and sometimes I'lljust say I'm not going to think
about anything.
I'm not going to think aboutanything, I'm not going to think
about anything, I'm just goingto be quiet.
And then I'll sit there andthen sometimes those thoughts
are coming in and I'll just haveto tell myself don't think
(30:48):
about anything, don't thinkabout anything, I'm just going
to sit quiet and I'll receivewhatever you have for me, lord.
But sometimes it is hard to cutthat noise off because your
brain.
Y'all know, my brain don't stop.
Speaker 5 (31:01):
I'm trying to figure out the next next.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
To the next of the next.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
So it's hard to cut that off.
My son and I talk about thisall the time.
We might need to be checked.
I might need to be checked forADHD because my brain is so.
It just won't stop.
I think that's a lot of us.
Yeah, it won't stop, won't stop, and sometimes you got to
figure out how to cut that off.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
I read a book about that, but I can't remember the
name right now, but it wasreally good, but you have to
read it more than one time,obviously because it.
It's not working right now but,it's not working right now.
It's really good but it's notworking right now.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
Well, part of this old age.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
I have a bad memory as well so I read it, but I
don't remember everything I read, so I need to read it again but
it was good to help.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
Part of me.
Not reading is my vision.
Speaker 4 (31:44):
That's audio books.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Yeah, because my vision has also changed.
So there's a lot going on.
Get to therapy y'all, Y'all.
Go see y'all therapist.
I'm going to see my therapist.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Shutting down those tabs.
We have so many tabs open.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
It's like the computer.
Speaker 4 (32:00):
We keep them open.
Speaker 5 (32:01):
It's like how do?
Speaker 3 (32:02):
you shut all these tabs down, but we'll figure it
out you just got to take thosemoments, though I find that the
IV is really a great time for meto shut down, because they got
this massage chair that's like aspaceship.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Oh, my goodness, that's like a spaceship.
I remember that.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
So it massages your butt, your thighs, the back of
your calves.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Yeah you being out here tonight.
A couple of times I said hey,hey, hey, hey, hey, who's back
there?
Speaker 2 (32:26):
But you touch it now.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
It's like a spaceship .
It hits your shoulders, thething rolls all up under your
butt and I say hey, that ain'tmy butt.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Now Stop Wait a minute.
Wait a minute, Right Feel trick.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
She said she said peltry oh, it's like a space
chair.
You know, you forget that iv isin your arm.
That thing is so relaxed, andthen it's got something going on
with your feet, so it's rubbingyour feet at the same time.
It's like a spaceship yesthough yeah, that's, that's.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
I like that.
Speaker 5 (32:52):
So we go there after we go to ellery get rubbed down
like get replenished with allour electrolytes from dancing
all night yeah, it'll be great,that's all right, that's all
right but there's also you needto increase your collagen.
Speaker 3 (33:07):
College, I think it's collagen too that focuses on
your joints and yeah, so let meknow when it is, because I can
start taking my collagen earlier.
Speaker 5 (33:15):
Let me get it now.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
Let me get it now early because these joints and
stuff, because i'm'm going tofeel it the next day.
Hello, it will be worth it.
It will Look.
Did we help you at all?
Talk about all the things we do.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
You know y'all be over helping by the time we get
done talking.
I'd be like shit.
Okay, I just had a simple assquestion.
Speaker 5 (33:39):
Here we go.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
It turns into a lot more.
But kudos to, like you said,the young girls.
Who's figuring this out?
And doing their thing andtaking care of themselves,
because it's something we sureweren't taught at all.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Well for y'all not to have been taking care of
yourself.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Y'all looked at it, we do Amazing.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
The grace of God.
Speaker 5 (33:57):
The grace of God.
Genetics.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Let's just say genetics yeah my mama looked
timeless that is something to besaid, though you, we, you're
going to do a whole series onthat, because there is something
to be said about sitting hereat our ages and really we look
great.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
Yeah, we do so you know we need to talk about that.
You know we don't have our bestfriend.
We call our best friend Dawn,Our best friend Dawn this is our
best friend Dawn.
We have our best friend Dawncome in and talk to us about
some things with our skin andskin care and fillers and Botox
(34:41):
and hydrochloric acid.
Speaker 4 (34:41):
Yeah, yeah all the things acid, yeah, yeah, all the
things to keep your faceHydrolyronic.
Speaker 3 (34:46):
There you go.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
Something like that Start with an H.
You see it on all thecommercials.
Speaker 5 (34:50):
Hydro, something, all that good stuff, all that good
stuff Hydrolyronic, all right,let's see but we done heard from
our caller.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
We done chit-chat and shoot the shit.
Speaker 5 (35:00):
Yes so.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
I think it's time to go.
Y'all want to wrap this up.
Yes, got another episode.
Please be sure to follow us,timeless and Unfiltered.
I'm Begra, I'm Stephanie, I'mCherise and Vanya, and y'all
subscribe so y'all can hear usspilling the tea on Midlife.
One laugh at a time.
(35:22):
All right, y'all Bye.
I want to talk about self-care.
As busy as we are, differentdirections, we're running in and
traveling and I just kind ofwant to talk to you, ladies,
about what you do for self-care.
I need help.
We do so much and we do so muchfor everybody you know, and we
(00:20):
just sit back and be like damnI'm tired.
And then when you have children, think about how often you have
to show up for your kids.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
I mean regardless of their age, because who said to
stop at 18?
That was the biggest lie theyever told it don't.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
This is Legra.
Speaker 5 (00:39):
This is Stephanie.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
This is Cherie and this is Evanya.
Stephanie, this is Cherie andthis is Ivanya.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
And this is Timeless and Unfiltered, where we are
spilling the tea on midlife, onelaugh at a time.
We are back for another episodeof Timeless and Unfiltered and
y'all make sure y'all follow uson all social media platforms at
timeless and unfiltered, go toour website at timeless and
(01:10):
unfilteredcom and subscribe onyoutube if y'all want to take a
look and catch us doing ourthing on video but anyway, this
is legra this is stephanie, thisis sharice evania.
And again, this is timeless andunfiltered where we are here to
spill the tea on midlife.
One laugh at a time, one laughat a time.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
What's going on?
Nothing and everything.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
We just busy.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Yeah, always, always, always busy.
What's going on with y'all?
That's it.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
No, I think for me guys, I want to talk about
self-care, because as busy as weare and the different
directions we're running in andtraveling and work and scooters
and whatever else we have goingon, I just kind of want to talk
(02:01):
to you ladies about what you dofor self-care.
I need help, I mean, but likeokay, but for real y'all we can,
and I think it's for womenperiod.
We do so much, and we do somuch for everybody.
(02:25):
You know, and we just sit backand be like damn I'm tired.
And then, when you havechildren, think about how, how
often you really have to show upfor your kids.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
I mean regardless of their age, because who said to
stop at 18?
Speaker 1 (02:38):
that was the biggest lie they ever told right, it
don't um the biggest lie, and solike we're caught, don't Right
and don't the biggest lie, andso like we're constantly, don't
stop.
So I think we constantly moveand, to be honest, being where
we are in our moment of middleage and trying to figure it out
(03:02):
and still having to carry forlack of a better term some of
the burdens or try to release it, whichever one that is, at the
same time can be a bit taxing.
I think it just comes intotrying to build some boundaries
to protect yourself, but stilltrying to be loving and
(03:23):
intentional to the people thatyou love.
And so it's like how do we?
How do I self-care myself?
Like I think I'm doing okay,right, but what does that really
look like?
What does it really mean?
Like what are you guys?
Speaker 5 (03:37):
doing.
We're special creatures.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
I want to say that as far as being women because of
everything we go through.
Speaker 5 (03:45):
We go through periods , we go through childbirth, we
go through menopause.
We're just like naturalnurturers and so we just want to
take care of everything andeverybody.
I think it's just innate, it'sjust who we are, and so it is
important for us to figure outwell, how do I take care of
(04:05):
myself, and at what point do youbegin taking care of yourself?
I've noticed one thing aboutthe younger generation, the
younger women they don't play.
I see them on social media.
They do a lot of self-care.
And I'm like man I never.
I didn't even think about itback then.
I guess because I was raisingchildren.
I never thought well, when thekids go down, do something for
(04:26):
yourself.
I just was doing something elseto prepare for the next day so.
I think for me.
I'm just now coming into theself care the older I've gotten
it now that my kids are gone andeven though they're gone,
they're not gone right.
But now I have the boundarieswhere they're like monkey, I
know and I can't, and now I'mstarting to do more for myself,
(04:47):
whereas I wasn't.
But I applaud the younger womenthat started early.
What kind of things are youdoing Getting my lashes done.
I don't know what my lashes myreal lashes look like anymore.
I've had them for years.
I got a Bomb Girl Shout out toteacher Christy Beauty, but
(05:08):
that's the one thing.
If I don't do my nails, whichy'all see, I'll throw on some
press-ons real quick because Ifind out that they're becoming
too much to spend money on andI'm like this is just ridiculous
.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
They're expensive now .
They used to be $20 to go get apool set.
Speaker 5 (05:24):
Now it's $65.
And I'm like yeah, press on,press me on.
And I would say the one thingthat I do do faithfully is my
lashes, and I do my own hair andstuff.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Because you will color your hair in a minute.
Speaker 5 (05:40):
Color, cut, curl something, and I do that for
myself.
I have the money to go do it,but I'm like use that money on
something else and then I'llspend um more money on myself if
I see a purse I want or shoes,because back in the day I
couldn't with all them kids.
Now I'm like I just do whateverI want to do and buy what I
want to buy, and so now I'mfinally taking care of myself.
(06:02):
That's just my form ofself-care just indulging on
myself for once and not caringand telling kids yeah, I ain't
got it, but I'm about to go buythis bag I don't have it for you
, but I'm about to go buy thisbag for me because I feel like
I've sacrificed a
Speaker 4 (06:18):
lot now shit we do we do what about?
Speaker 2 (06:24):
you.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Ivania.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
So I suffer from anxiety.
So I feel like self-care for meis kind of pausing and taking a
moment when I realize thosemoments are coming.
So now it's just more of justbreathing.
So I do have certain apps ormusic that I listen to that calm
me down.
I started getting facials everymonth.
So shout out to Tiffany.
I started getting my hair donetwice a month.
(06:45):
All right, all right.
Shout out to Dominique Allright, all right.
Things that I couldn't do, I'llsay, even three, four years ago
.
Speaker 5 (06:53):
So now I'm starting to do these things for me.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Not my hands, but my feet done it's okay, all the
time I keep those done.
Sometimes it's just sitting inbed and not doing anything.
I think sometimes self-care isjust not doing anything Because
we're always doing something,we're always looking for.
I have to do this, Even in myhead.
I have to do this.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Sometimes it's just doing nothing, which is rare.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
But to do nothing sometimes is the best thing you
can do for self-care.
And I think I want to do thatmore often.
It is Sometimes it's justtalking to a friend.
It's okay, like you know, justchilling and hey girl, what you
doing, how you doing.
So it's a lot of things, butyou know.
I'm getting better at doingmore for me, because you know
you do have this list of thingsyou have to take care of
everything of.
But now putting myself at thetop of that list has been my
(07:36):
self-care.
Speaker 5 (07:36):
That's fun.
I actually find joy just layingin my bed and not doing nothing
all day, Because I don't get todo that that often and I just
feel so lazy.
But I feel so proud and so goodthat I'm just lazy and I just
get to actually watch somethingon TV.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
God, it's so hard for me to do it here, like at home
or in the United States.
It's so hard for me becausethere's just it's still for lack
of a better term the noisestill comes in for me.
You know what I mean whenpeople know you're here, you're
home, you're whatever, it'sstill ringing.
And so, now that I'm thinkingabout it, yeah, but self-care is
(08:17):
when I'm gone, because whenyou're gone out of the country,
when you think about it peopleknow you're not home or you're
gone, so they leave you alone.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
That's true, yeah, like everybody leaves you alone
when you're gone.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Yeah, I think that's why I travel so much.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
You think that's why you travel so much yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Now that I've done it , I might have just had a
breakthrough.
Speaker 5 (08:34):
Yeah, right now.
Yeah, and that makes sense.
And when you said that that'sthe most enjoyable time time for
me, when I'm away and peoplemay not be able to reach me on
my phone, like I go on a cruise,I don't have my phone out at
all.
I can't even say the whole timeand no one can call me, no one
can bother me and I could just.
That is really self care to getaway to wake up.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
You don't have to worry about the time.
What's happening and aware isthe same thing is still really
going on here but you're justgone, you're in charge.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
You just take it out of your brain.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
So, yeah.
I already know when I retire.
I'm living in Costa Rica fortwo months and Mexico for two
months.
Speaker 5 (09:19):
Stay away from everybody.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
And I'm going somewhere else for two months
and I'm just about to just be anomad because we're going to
miss you we're going to miss you.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
Where are you at, girl?
We're coming down.
We're going to miss you.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
We just talked about going to Mexico City together.
No, we're going to do thistogether.
You're going to do what I dowant to go to Mexico City.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
We're going to mexico city together but it's, it's
amazing, I really do like it,but yeah, I, yeah, I realize
that my self-care is away,getting away from it my
self-care?
Speaker 3 (09:56):
I don't think I really do self-care just to be
honest um, but I need to.
It's.
It's little things and I thinkjust because when you have a
health scare, all of a suddeneverything your world becomes
that.
So you know, I get thehydration IVs, that's good.
Which I actually really love and, as a matter of fact, after
(10:18):
this surgery, this upcomingsurgery, I'll get back on my
schedule.
But I bought a membership toget hydration IVs and the great
thing about it is they have somany different kinds.
Like I always do it before Itravel, they have an immunity IV
to boost up your immune system,and vitamin C and all that
stuff.
You know I'm trying to grow myhair back and all that stuff.
(10:41):
They have one that's for skinnails, biotin, you know, and the
great thing about it is, withthe, the IVs one is I don't
drink enough water.
Let's start with that.
I don't, just I don't drinkenough water.
It's equivalent of drinkinglike two and a half gallons of
water.
Love it because it's injecteddirectly into your vein, so like
(11:03):
when you drink regular water.
That's why you got to pee everyfive minutes.
A lot of it has not beenabsorbed into your system.
Versus when it's injected intoyour bloodstream, you're getting
100% of whatever you're puttingin your bloodstream V12, they
have the.
Myers cocktail, which is themost common one, has all your
(11:27):
vitamins, minerals and all thatstuff that your body is supposed
to have.
So I've been really luckybecause after chemo and where
chemo tears you down, I startedgoing getting IVs.
I was getting IVs every week.
Remember, I was going everysingle week and built my body
back up like replenish all myvitamins and minerals and all
(11:49):
that stuff, but it makes me feelamazing, especially after um.
You know you get some energyand b12 and right all of that
stuff.
You know your vitamin d is low.
That's another thing, ladies,that yeah, as africanAmericans,
our vitamin D is naturally lower, for whatever reason.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 5 (12:08):
We're not out in the sun.
I don't have enough scientific,even though we're sun people.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
We don't have enough scientific background.
Speaker 5 (12:13):
We're inside more.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Yeah, we're not in the sun as much, yeah, so I get
vitamin D shots.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
That's great, and you're stretching right yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Oh yeah, stretching right.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Yeah, oh yeah, um, I started stretch zone, um they
had which I never knew, thateven existed because all the
aches, the pains, your jointsand let's just be honest that
that leg don't go up all the wayup?
Speaker 2 (12:33):
no more.
Hell.
The knee don't even be right,no more you know all of that.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
So there's a place um .
They have different places thatwill just do nothing but
stretch your body for you.
So they go in and kind of testand see how far you can go and
all that good stuff.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
So you're going to split some, right?
Speaker 3 (12:52):
No, I couldn't do a split then.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
We're going to split.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
I was that little girl that could never do splits.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Shatice and I are working on doing a split.
What y'all doing to work on?
Speaker 3 (13:05):
it.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
You just have to stretch every day, like you
would be surprised how lowyou'll start getting when you
start doing it.
But you really have to stretchthe muscles.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
Well, right now I can't even bend down to get to
the floor.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Well, your stretch class is going to get you there,
but I am determined that I amgoing to do a split with baby
girl.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
I love it.
I want to do a split and I wantto twerk.
Oh, so you want to?
Speaker 5 (13:29):
do a split.
We need a twerk class.
I do.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
I do want to twerk.
Don't laugh at your mama.
I want to twerk.
I mean I don't want to.
Don't get me wrong, I'm notgoing to be one of them.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
Old ass.
Andrea Kelly does that.
Yeah, she do.
She could do a split end.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
She's also a trained professional dancer.
Speaker 5 (13:48):
She's been doing this all her life.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
But my body as the athlete girl stuff didn't wiggle
like that.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
My butt was always so firm.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
I was like why it don't wiggle?
Like that and don't be wrong,it's not about you having a big
butt or whatever, because I'veseen the smallest and littlest
skinny girl but for whateverreason, my butt don't move like
that and I just want to do it soI can have it in my sexual
prowess repertoire from the lastepisode.
Speaker 5 (14:20):
For that little man Right.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
He's a little man, he's going to blow his mind.
I episode that little man he'sgoing to blow his mind.
He's going to blow his mind.
I want to learn how to twerk mybutt.
Don't twerk.
For some reason it can.
I want it, so look so forself-care.
Well, I used to belly dance.
Speaker 5 (14:35):
Yeah, and it was cold .
That's what I was going tobring up.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
I used to belly dance .
Speaker 2 (14:40):
I still know how to do all the moves and all that
kind of stuff.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
But I love that and I keep saying I'm going to find
me another class and stuff.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
But what I?
Speaker 3 (14:48):
loved about.
It was the largest theinstructor that I had at the
time.
She made you you had if youwere wearing a t-shirt, you had
to tie a knot in the front, youhad to have your stomach out.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
She didn't care if you had the biggest stomach in
the world, but I'm going to tellyou it's women and we're women
in there.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
I guarantee you pushing 300 pounds and they was
in there, but they lookedbeautiful.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
There's something about it.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
It makes you feel sexy yeah and the way, even
their stomach, the way that itrolled, even though they had
large stomachs, the way thatthey could control it and roll
their stomachs.
But you can sit back and watchand you can see that woman just
transform.
Like you come in and you, youknow you're all in your clothes
and now you know, like youdidn't did the warm-up exercises
and then once, especially thewomen that had you know a little
(15:38):
bit of background in or havetaken several classes, you can
see how the sexiness just cameout of them, that they felt sexy
.
They felt sexy, it looked sexy,it didn't matter what size you
were and honestly, in theirculture, that culture, the
bigger women are the sexy women,so they it was beautiful, I
(15:58):
loved it.
I loved how it made you feel andI loved you could see it in the
other women how it made themfeel.
Love that.
So I would love to be able totake start belly dancing again.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Find a class.
You know I'm gonna follow youCause she is so good at it.
No, not anymore.
No, you were and I was like oh,gosh, I want to do it now you
would
Speaker 3 (16:20):
show us like it's very, it's very easy.
Well, no, let me repeat it,it's not easy, it's not just
isolating and controlling yeah,I think it's a mind thing.
Yeah, but now I feel like I'mso stiff and my joints ache and
my knees it, will it really?
Will so that, but there's a lotof things I'm going to do.
(16:42):
You know this is this should bemy last surgery.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Well, this will be my last surgery and there's a lot
of things that I want to do, butI was a gym rat.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
I love the gym and you know, part of my therapy,
part of my self-care, will bealso therapy, because I've
developed some anxiety that Inever had before.
So I need to figure out what'sgoing on with that, because
that'll help me to get back outand do some of the things that I
(17:10):
want to do.
But I look forward to all thethings.
I want to dance more.
Now I don't know where we'regoing to dance dance at it's
considered we ain't got nowhereto go.
Calories is there no but yeah, Iwant to dance more.
I want to.
I love my ivs.
Um, I love my facials and andstuff as well.
(17:32):
I I love my Netflix days.
I love our girlfriend times out.
I love and I just said toSharice I think I told you too,
stephanie like we need to allget together in our EPs and just
celebrate this.
You know I love when it'ssomebody's birthday.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
That's self-care to me.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
Like when I'm with my friends.
That's part of my self-care.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Just letting go?
I think we don't.
I don't know how to let go.
And when I say let go, I thinkeverything have to happen now,
especially the entrepreneurialside of you.
You just feel like gosh, I haveto do this and I don't know if
it's control some well, part ofit is control, but you, you and
(18:15):
I have tried to pass things offand when things aren't done,
correctly and you have to goback and do it again yourself.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
anyway, you're like, well, hell, I might as well just
do it, so you can't release thecontrol, but we have to figure
it out.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
We have to figure it out so that we can enjoy truly
enjoy the fruits of our life.
Take breaks and enjoy thefruits of our life take breaks
and enjoy the food and whatever.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
And I love traveling, oh my gosh, traveling is
self-care one of the best tripsever and we have been to some
great places.
I just come back from egypt.
Um, I know you love hawaii, yes, and we don't know where the
hell to find you, honey.
You be everywhere, you know.
You just come back from MexicoCity.
(18:59):
All of that, but my bestest andfavoritest, most wonderfulest
trip was when we went to Orlando.
It didn't even matter that itwas, you know, stateside it was
just a few hours.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
It was because we got to hang out.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Together, you know you brought your spouses and
girlfriends and our kids, ouradult children.
Adult.
Adult children, you know, andwe just got to just hang out.
I missed most of that I didyeah we had a ball.
Speaker 5 (19:30):
Because I got cold.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (19:32):
And left.
It was cold.
I had never been so cold in myno in the house.
It was cold.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
She said it was cold in the house.
I couldn't.
Speaker 5 (19:41):
I was freezing upstairs and I couldn't take any
more.
I was like, oh God, rememberthey didn't have a lot of,
because it's Florida.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
It's just.
Speaker 5 (19:53):
We went to the store.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
We went to Walmart, brought us some blankets.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
And washcloths.
It's just, I can't stand.
We went to the store.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
We went to Walmart.
Bought us some blankets mmhmm,that's too many words.
Speaker 5 (19:58):
Washcloths right and washcloths but the time I was
there, yeah, we all went out toeat and just hanging around the
house talking shit mmhmm cooking.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
We had good food that was great, nothing special, but
it's part of the self care,it's fellowship, right it's?
Speaker 1 (20:11):
fellowship and it wasn't work.
Yeah, yes, it was not work,right, so it didn't matter where
we were, we had a great time,it was great, so I'm looking
forward to being able to do moreof that.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Um, I'm looking forward to I don't know, we have
never been out dancing ellery'sokay we're gonna go to eloise,
we're just going.
Speaker 5 (20:34):
Y'all are going to have the best time of y'all life
.
It's a dance club for olderpeople.
Everybody in there dances.
The dance floor is never empty.
You just have gentlemen come upand say can I dance with you?
You're like yeah, it's justgreat, it's an old people dance
club.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
They're going to have all purple suits with purple
shoes.
Speaker 5 (20:55):
All yellow, shoes with yellow shoes.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
You're going to cut a rug.
All red suits with red hats.
Speaker 5 (21:01):
And they're going to take you back to your seat.
Thank you, young lady.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
They ain't buying drinks.
Speaker 5 (21:07):
Yeah, they ain't buying drinks, they just going
to stand, you ready to danceagain.
No, but you have a good time.
It's just genuinely a good time.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
You know what.
So I don't even know if I candance like that anymore.
You'll be Well, they can either.
Speaker 5 (21:20):
So they'll be out there cutting the rug, because I
used to dance a lot and all youneed is that little two-step
that's all we old people do yougot those little One and two.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
One and two.
You see me like that Likethat's what we'll do.
Speaker 5 (21:32):
That's what we?
Young lady.
One and two, one and two, oneand two, that's it Okay.
Will you really?
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Are you doing all that?
I'm doing some.
Speaker 4 (21:46):
Oh they're going to love that.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
They're going to love it.
They're going to drag heroutside.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
They're going to wash the front door.
The lady going to disappear.
Where are you?
Some lady gonna disappear.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Somebody's gonna have a heart attack but it's a good
time to be had in here.
Speaker 5 (22:03):
It really is, stephanie, you plan it okay, for
real, I'm playing because youtalk about it all the time.
You keep saying we need to go,we're gonna dance, we're gonna
go.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
I'm gonna tell you the last time that I went out,
y'all gonna crack a laugh and ohgod um, I didn't know they
existed.
I actually went to a place thatwas for Mediterranean men and
women were in there.
Speaker 4 (22:25):
So the belly dancing.
Speaker 5 (22:27):
Cafe.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Istanbul.
No, it wasn't Cafe Istanbul.
No, this was actually a club.
But for their people and theydanced on the tables.
Was it Alparazza?
Speaker 5 (22:44):
No, no it was more um , um Tucker.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Shambly some kind of that area um of Atlanta, but
yeah, but the funny thing wasthey were playing Mediterranean
music.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
They were breaking plates and stuff all over the
place they were.
They were dancing on tablesplace.
They were dancing on tables.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
The women were dancing on tables.
I mean, I'm talking about like,if you wanted to just get up on
the table, you could dance onthe table and all that kind of
stuff, but they were playing ourmusic.
Speaker 5 (23:11):
Wait a minute.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
But it was like in my full bottom jeans On top of our
music.
Speaker 3 (23:16):
Yes, but it might have been apple bottom jeans.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
In their language, but it wasn't Nelly.
Speaker 5 (23:23):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
It was Mohammed Singing Apple Bottom Jeans.
That is so neat, but you'resitting there like You're
sitting there like that's notNelly.
Yeah, you're sitting there likethat's the last time that I've
been on.
It's been that long how longago.
(23:45):
Oh my God, really, yeah, it'sbeen that long.
Oh damn, it's been that longFor real.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
Look at the opening line we're going to get out.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
We're going to get out.
I'm going to see my therapistfirst.
Speaker 5 (23:59):
No, you can get out before then I got to see my
therapist.
We're planning everything.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
You're going to see your therapist and we're going
to take a belly dancing class.
Y'all going to love it?
Speaker 5 (24:08):
Yeah, I know I will.
You're going to love it.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
First of all, it's actually exercise.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
You don't think you're going to be sweating, but
you will sweat.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
It's because it is actually cardio and exercise,
but it comes handy in otherareas.
Speaker 5 (24:23):
Listen, I'm going to the grocery store.
Behind my thing, you know whatI learned.
I'm going down the aisle.
They be like this lady.
What is she doing?
I'm going to be terrible if Ilearn how to do it.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
It is so funny, but you're going to learn to isolate
different parts of your bodyEverywhere.
Speaker 5 (24:40):
Everywhere I'm showing out.
You're going to kill, right,You're going to kill, Not even
for that.
I'm talking about just walkingdown the street.
No, that's not.
Hey, they be like she done.
Learned how to belly dance.
I been wanting to.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Yeah, I can do it, ooh.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Yeah, I love it Look right, I'm adding this exercise,
you're just doing that I'mtired what else is just eight?
You just ain't gonna blame iton the food shoot.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
We're gonna blame it on the food, but yeah, so you
gotta take care of yourself.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
We are, we are stretched thin, we are very busy
.
We we taking care of other,everybody we're taking care of
businesses, which meansclients're taking care of
businesses which means clients.
Because, clients seem like youknow you got to set them
boundaries with your clientsbecause they think they can call
you any time of morning anytime of night.
Because you work at night.
You think you're supposed tocall me when you get off.
Right.
You know all those kind ofthings, but we're stretched very
(25:36):
, very thin.
Speaker 5 (25:37):
All women are, so I think it's important for all
women to take a break and takecare of themselves sooner or it
will show Sooner.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
And your health?
Speaker 3 (25:46):
Yeah, it will manifest in your health, your
stress, mm-hmm.
Your finances.
Yep, your hair start thinning.
Speaker 4 (25:54):
Yeah, you know all those different things Stress
down and y'all see thesewrinkle-free faces.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Y'all see these, honey, and y'all see these
wrinkle-free faces, honey.
This is called timeless overhere.
This is called timeless overhere, y'all see, these
wrinkle-free faces, y'all seethese wrinkle-free faces.
Speaker 5 (26:08):
I got something on my forehead.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
You better take care of yourself.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
Not a little Botox won't fix my head.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
One thing we didn't really delve into is the therapy
.
Speaker 5 (26:21):
That's a better form of self-care.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Speaking to somebody, a professional sometimes about
some of the things we're goingthrough can be a form of therapy
and self-care for us as well.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Oh yeah, I know I'm going to start my therapy.
Speaker 5 (26:34):
My therapist got to get ready because she's going to
every week be tuning in like.
Game of Thrones because I gotso much to unpack.
She's going to be like man Okay, Every week.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
I didn't know where you was going.
Speaker 5 (26:45):
Okay, I need, yeah, I need a lot.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
Yeah, I do.
Come sit on the couch, you do,baby.
She said I need a lot oftherapy.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
A whole sitcom.
So what?
Speaker 5 (26:55):
happened again this week, so then I went into the
yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
I went into the.
It's going to be a lot.
Speaker 5 (27:01):
Your therapist is going to need therapy after me
it's going to be a whole sitcom.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
But we do.
It's the best thing.
I can truly say, though, thathas been the best thing ever for
me.
I've come full circle and Iknow I'm a very different person
because of it, because we needour therapist, our OBGYN, yep,
pediatricians.
If you have little kids, wedon't what was that we're making
sure everything's right.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
We're just making sure everything's right.
Our hairdressers.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
You know, there's just some people we just got to
have on deck.
But a therapist needs to reallybe a part of that.
Speaker 5 (27:37):
I don't know why we run from it, but, um, I think
we're busy because I want to sayfor me I always said I'm I'm
gonna go to therapy, but reallyI'm like when do I have they're?
Speaker 1 (27:45):
all online now you could do it online you don't
have to leave, so, but that is apart of self-care taking the
time to even do that yeah,because you find time for
everything else you need to doand everybody else.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
Yeah, you gotta find the time for you to get what you
need to Talk these people headoff.
Speaker 5 (28:02):
Yeah, that's what they're there for.
Yeah.
We can have one coming near you, oh goodness.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Well we're not gonna play a game today, but I think
we have a caller.
And again, you guys follow uson all our social media
platforms.
We put up questions every week,a couple of different questions
, questions.
You do not have to write us.
Y'all can leave us a voicemail,go to timeless and
unfilteredcom and leave usavoicemail right through our
(28:32):
website.
You don't have to tell us yourwhole full name.
You got to worry about it.
Just this is legra from georgia.
You know, which is just fine,and we want to hear from you.
Speaker 5 (28:44):
Well, it requires that before you close out.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Yeah, so we can put you on our email list, but call
in and participate.
We want to hear from you, wewant to feel you, we want to
hear your emotions.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
We don't want the anonymous callers, because those
might be the best callers, theanonymous callers Well we got a
couple that made someinteresting calls.
Speaker 4 (29:03):
Let's see who we have today For my self-care when I
wake in the morning, the firstthing I do is make myself a cup
of coffee and go into my prayerroom and pray and meditate for
myself, my family and my friends.
It gives me the calm I need tostart my day.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Now, how do we forget Jesus?
Y'all are heathens.
Speaker 5 (29:30):
God is my center.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
He knows my heart.
Speaker 5 (29:33):
How do we forget?
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Jesus.
Speaker 5 (29:35):
But that's great and she said she started off with
her coffee.
Coffee and Jesus.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
Coffee come before Jesus.
Jesus coffee.
No, jesus coffee, jesus coffee.
Oh goodness, I have to not tomake this a religious thing, but
I have to say that when I'm offcenter I got to get in the
closet.
Oh yeah, I got to get in thecloset when I'm off center and
sometimes I don't realize I'moff center.
(30:01):
And then I also read a bookcalled the Prayer of Jabez.
Y'all probably heard me saythat 10,000 times.
I told y'all to read the book.
It worked.
In the name of Jesus, it worked,so I can't believe I didn't say
oh my God, I got to pray andmeditate.
But I'm so off center Sometimes, when the noise won't stop, I
(30:26):
try to pray, and then sometimesI'll just say I'm not even going
to pray, I'm just going to sitstill because I can't pray like
when I try to pray then and thenlike all these other things be
coming in, and sometimes I'lljust say I'm not going to think
about anything.
I'm not going to think aboutanything, I'm not going to think
about anything, I'm just goingto be quiet.
And then I'll sit there andthen sometimes those thoughts
are coming in and I'll just haveto tell myself don't think
(30:48):
about anything, don't thinkabout anything, I'm just going
to sit quiet and I'll receivewhatever you have for me, lord.
But sometimes it is hard to cutthat noise off because your
brain.
Y'all know, my brain don't stop.
Speaker 5 (31:01):
I'm trying to figure out the next next.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
To the next of the next.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
So it's hard to cut that off.
My son and I talk about thisall the time.
We might need to be checked.
I might need to be checked forADHD because my brain is so.
It just won't stop.
I think that's a lot of us.
Yeah, it won't stop, won't stop, and sometimes you got to
figure out how to cut that off.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
I read a book about that, but I can't remember the
name right now, but it wasreally good, but you have to
read it more than one time,obviously because it.
It's not working right now but,it's not working right now.
It's really good but it's notworking right now.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
Well, part of this old age.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
I have a bad memory as well so I read it, but I
don't remember everything I read, so I need to read it again but
it was good to help.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
Part of me.
Not reading is my vision.
Speaker 4 (31:44):
That's audio books.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Yeah, because my vision has also changed.
So there's a lot going on.
Get to therapy y'all, Y'all.
Go see y'all therapist.
I'm going to see my therapist.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Shutting down those tabs.
We have so many tabs open.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
It's like the computer.
Speaker 4 (32:00):
We keep them open.
Speaker 5 (32:01):
It's like how do?
Speaker 3 (32:02):
you shut all these tabs down, but we'll figure it
out you just got to take thosemoments, though I find that the
IV is really a great time for meto shut down, because they got
this massage chair that's like aspaceship.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Oh, my goodness, that's like a spaceship.
I remember that.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
So it massages your butt, your thighs, the back of
your calves.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Yeah you being out here tonight.
A couple of times I said hey,hey, hey, hey, hey, who's back
there?
Speaker 2 (32:26):
But you touch it now.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
It's like a spaceship .
It hits your shoulders, thething rolls all up under your
butt and I say hey, that ain'tmy butt.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Now Stop Wait a minute.
Wait a minute, Right Feel trick.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
She said she said peltry oh, it's like a space
chair.
You know, you forget that iv isin your arm.
That thing is so relaxed, andthen it's got something going on
with your feet, so it's rubbingyour feet at the same time.
It's like a spaceship yesthough yeah, that's, that's.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
I like that.
Speaker 5 (32:52):
So we go there after we go to ellery get rubbed down
like get replenished with allour electrolytes from dancing
all night yeah, it'll be great,that's all right, that's all
right but there's also you needto increase your collagen.
Speaker 3 (33:07):
College, I think it's collagen too that focuses on
your joints and yeah, so let meknow when it is, because I can
start taking my collagen earlier.
Speaker 5 (33:15):
Let me get it now.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
Let me get it now early because these joints and
stuff, because i'm'm going tofeel it the next day.
Hello, it will be worth it.
It will Look.
Did we help you at all?
Talk about all the things we do.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
You know y'all be over helping by the time we get
done talking.
I'd be like shit.
Okay, I just had a simple assquestion.
Speaker 5 (33:39):
Here we go.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
It turns into a lot more.
But kudos to, like you said,the young girls.
Who's figuring this out?
And doing their thing andtaking care of themselves,
because it's something we sureweren't taught at all.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Well for y'all not to have been taking care of
yourself.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Y'all looked at it, we do Amazing.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
The grace of God.
Speaker 5 (33:57):
The grace of God.
Genetics.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Let's just say genetics yeah my mama looked
timeless that is something to besaid, though you, we, you're
going to do a whole series onthat, because there is something
to be said about sitting hereat our ages and really we look
great.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
Yeah, we do so you know we need to talk about that.
You know we don't have our bestfriend.
We call our best friend Dawn,Our best friend Dawn this is our
best friend Dawn.
We have our best friend Dawncome in and talk to us about
some things with our skin andskin care and fillers and Botox
(34:41):
and hydrochloric acid.
Speaker 4 (34:41):
Yeah, yeah all the things acid, yeah, yeah, all the
things to keep your faceHydrolyronic.
Speaker 3 (34:46):
There you go.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
Something like that Start with an H.
You see it on all thecommercials.
Speaker 5 (34:50):
Hydro, something, all that good stuff, all that good
stuff Hydrolyronic, all right,let's see but we done heard from
our caller.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
We done chit-chat and shoot the shit.
Speaker 5 (35:00):
Yes so.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
I think it's time to go.
Y'all want to wrap this up.
Yes, got another episode.
Please be sure to follow us,timeless and Unfiltered.
I'm Begra, I'm Stephanie, I'mCherise and Vanya, and y'all
subscribe so y'all can hear usspilling the tea on Midlife.
One laugh at a time.
(35:22):
All right, y'all Bye.
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