June 16, 2025 • 13 mins
Send me a text about the episode!
Ever feel like your workouts are rarely as amazing as fitness influencers make theirs look? You're not alone—and there's a scientific reason why.
The bell curve concept offers a refreshing perspective on fitness reality: out of approximately 100 workouts, only about 10% will feel truly amazing. Another 10% will inevitably feel terrible, regardless of your experience level. The remaining 80%? They'll just be okay. Not Instagram-worthy, not particularly memorable—just adequate. And that's exactly how it should be.
This revelation is particularly liberating for perfectionists and all-or-nothing thinkers who beat themselves up when every workout doesn't feel transformative. Just as you don't perform at 100% capacity every day at work, or brush your teeth with perfect technique every time, your fitness journey will include a spectrum of experiences. The magic happens not in chasing perfect workouts, but in showing up consistently through all three phases of the curve.
For those with neurodivergent tendencies or heightened sensitivities, traditional fitness advice often misses the mark. The standard "push through it" mentality may actually be counterproductive for your brain's wiring. Finding accommodations that work with your unique thinking patterns—whether that's managing sensory input, creating different types of reminders, or developing personalized routines—can transform your relationship with fitness entirely. You're not broken or lacking discipline; you simply need approaches aligned with how your mind operates.
Have you experienced this bell curve in your own fitness journey? Share this episode with someone who needs this perspective, and remember that consistency, not perfection, builds the foundation for lasting results.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello everyone and welcome back to the Toned but
Tired podcast.
I apologize if you hearconstruction noises in the
background, for, like the pastmonth, I have had people working
on the sidewalks and such,literally right next to my house
.
So yeah, that's fun, but youknow we keep moving forward.
(00:21):
So, with that being said, todayI wanted to talk about a
concept keep moving forward.
So, with that being said, today, I wanted to talk about a
concept.
Anytime that I like, listen to apodcast or read something, so
I'm always kind of consumingstuff when I don't actively need
to be like 100% present.
So if I'm walking, I'm driving,I'm cooking, I'm doing dishes,
whatever, I kind of use thattime to educate.
(00:43):
Additionally, or sometimes, youknow, I'll watch, like you know
, sims or Hello Kitty orsomething stupid as well, but
when I come across somethingthat makes me think and go, huh,
that was really good, I want toshare it with you, and I think
this is really eye opening.
I think visuals, comparisons,metaphors, whatever you want to
call them, can be very helpfulin your health and fitness
(01:05):
journey to really truly conveywhat you're experiencing,
because I think a lot of thethings we see online, people are
showing their highlight moments, their best moments.
You're seeing like fitnessmodels, fitness influencers, who
are jacked and shredded.
They give you no context of howthey got there and they're just
like do these workouts.
Like the message you're seeingis do these workouts, you'll
(01:26):
look like me.
They're happy, they're excited,everything's fun because it's
their job.
Their job is to make you wantwhatever they got Right.
So, with that being said, letme share the little tidbit I
have today.
I want to talk about the bellcurve.
Have you ever heard of the bellcurve?
(01:46):
If you don't know what the bellcurve is, you've probably seen
it before and you've probablylearned about it in science
class and math class, especiallyif you took calculus.
Okay, so the bell curve I wantyou to picture.
It looks like a hill, okay,it's on a chart, and it starts
at the bottom and then it peaksat the top or a mountain, I
guess would be a betterdescription on a chart and and
it starts at the bottom and thenit um, peaks at the top or a
mountain, I guess would be abetter description or a bell,
(02:09):
and then it goes back down.
So the theory behind this isthis shows kind of just the
average of everything, so youcan use this for literally
anything.
Whatever you do, on average,about 10%, so that bottom half
of people will be in, like thelower region.
(02:31):
Then the other end that top 10%are people in the higher region
or whatever you're measuringand then the big middle.
The chunk in the middle is 80%and that's where mostly
everybody else falls, right.
I'm trying to think of a goodexample for this.
That's okay, we'll use theexample that I want to share
(02:55):
today, and then that'll make alittle more sense.
So I want to relate this in theidea of working out.
So think about 10% on the lowerhalf, 10% of your workouts out
of you know all the workoutsthat you do.
Let's just use the nice roundnumber of 100.
So 10% or 10 of your workoutsare going to suck, guaranteed
(03:16):
right Now, of course, there'sobviously like for my people who
are politically correct yes,this isn't exact science.
Of course.
If you measured 100 workouts,would exactly 10 of them be
terrible?
Maybe some people have you knowmore terrible ones or less
terrible, or maybe yourexperience is a little bit
different, but this is justagain, the average, right?
(03:36):
So 10% of them are going tosuck.
The top 10%, 10 of them aregoing to be amazing.
But then here's the kicker thatother 80% the other 80% are
just okay, they're meh, they'reaverage.
So why am I telling you this?
Okay, they're meh, they'reaverage.
So why am I telling you this?
I'm telling you this because Ithink we get caught up in
(03:57):
beating ourselves up for theperfectionists out there, the
all or nothings out there.
It's like if we didn't havelike a coming to Jesus, amazing,
high workout, you know we're afailure and in reality, only 10
of your workouts probably aregoing out of 100, are going to
(04:18):
feel like that.
I've been through stretches.
I've been through months ofgrinding through workouts.
Let me tell you, I have beenconsistently moving, even
through injuries and things,even if it was just walking or
yoga, for over 10 years now.
The longest I've maybe evertaken off from moving, I would
say would be like two months,right, but I move in some
(04:41):
capacity.
And there have been periodsthree, four, six months of my
life that I'll just be showingup for these workouts.
I'm like, yeah, I'm not feelingit, but I know I got to do it.
It's okay, it was all right,but it wasn't like amazing.
And there have been phaseswhere I've been like, wow, these
workouts are hitting.
I'm so excited for my workoutsand there's been times where I'm
(05:02):
like this sucks, this sucks ass.
I hate it, I don't want to doit here.
I'm giving up early.
I did something, you know, soyou're going to experience those
things one way or another.
And so what I am telling to youis, for the days that you're
(05:26):
like shouldn't I, shouldn't I befeeling something more?
Should I be feeling amazing,like that workout was just man,
am I doing this right?
Yes, you are only doing itwrong if you give up and you
stop showing up.
You need to keep moving forward,and I want to relate this to
brushing your teeth, but I havea little bit of nuance for my
critical thinking friends outthere.
So it is similar to brushingyour teeth, right?
(05:48):
I like to compare it tobrushing your teeth to work,
because, regardless, work isprobably a better example.
Well, I don't know.
I think they're both the same,I guess.
Um, if you don't want to do it,if you don't want to brush your
teeth, if you don't want to goto work, you still do it right,
because you're like man if Idon't brush my teeth, my breath
is gonna stink, my teeth aregonna fall out, I'm gonna get
cavities.
Um, if I don't go to work, I'mgonna get fired or written up or
(06:11):
whatever.
So I still have to go.
Some of us, even a little toomuch, will go in when we're
actually sick, but that's awhole other conversation.
But you need to treat yourworkouts like that.
It is your duty, it is aresponsibility to be healthy,
but you don't necessarily haveto be perfect with it, right?
You're not like brushing yourteeth 100% perfectly every
single time.
I know all of us skip thatflossing.
(06:33):
I know we do.
And when you go to work youcan't tell me that you're being
100% perfect.
I know you're playing around onyour computer some days and
you're just not feeling it andyou're just there, right.
So you know that's the samething with workouts.
That doesn't mean that you'reany less than if you don't show
up perfectly.
The fact that you're justingraining the habit, cementing
(06:53):
the habit that is really whatcounts in the long run.
And give yourself enough timeand I promise you you will get
better, I can tell you.
I distinctly remember I wasworking out for months probably
close to a year, maybe even alittle bit more at this point,
dabbling in and out.
But I remember when I wasworking out and there was a move
(07:15):
I was doing and I felt themuscles activate, like I knew it
, I was like, oh, this is whatI'm supposed to be feeling.
It was a tricep extension, atricep push down no-transcript,
(07:48):
actually.
Have that mind muscleconnection to engage the right
muscles, squeeze it, feel theburn, control it.
Totally different experience.
And you're going if you haven'texperienced it yet, you will
experience it one day and I waslike, oh, and that was amazing,
right, but it wouldn't havehappened if I didn't keep going
through those messy days Because, like, you can't get it perfect
(08:08):
right off the bat.
It's like asking a baby to getup and run.
Right, they have to crawl,stand up, fall down, walk a
little bit.
It's not like this perfectprogression of where they just
stand up and then they startwalking and running immediately.
Right, there's a lot of messups and that's that is how
working out is, that's how a lotof things are.
But before I wrap this littletidbit up, I did want to go back
(08:31):
to the kind of work andtoothbrush example, because
something that I have beenlooking at is I actually
recently have been working witha lot more neurodivergent
individuals and I would evenclassify like highly sensitive
(08:52):
people into this as well,because whether you're medically
diagnosed with neurodivergence,like you know, executive
(09:14):
dysfunction, overstimulation,different things like that.
So I found it helpful for me andmy clients who maybe struggle
with this and I found that thesetypes of clients are attracted
to me who maybe have these sametypes of tendencies to use some
of the coping tools thatneurodivergent use, like, for
(09:36):
instance, wearing headphones, ifyou're overstimulated by noise,
to kind of zone in listen tomusic so you can kind of chill
out a little bit right, likesuch a simple fix.
But it approaching my life inthat way and not forcing myself
to be like, just push through,you know you're overstimulated,
what's wrong with you?
Just just push through, suck.
You know you're overstimulated,what's wrong with you?
Just just push through, suck itup Instead, accommodating
myself properly, has made mylife 100 times easier.
(09:59):
And with that, though, I thinkthat's a big issue with fitness
as well.
I think a lot of us who and thishas kind of been a bigger
mission of mine that's beendeveloping as I've been training
more and more clients is, I'verealized that the standard way
of working out that kind of likebodybuilder mentality of just
push through again, suck it up,does not work for people's
(10:23):
brains who work like that.
And this goes back to thetoothbrush and the work example,
because I have seen a lot ofpeople in the neurodivergent
community actually comment onthis and say I hate when people
say you know, it's as simple asbrushing your teeth, because
someone who has neurodivergencenot everybody, because it's a
spectrum and everybody's sodifferent, it's so complex but
(10:43):
they may not find brushing theirteeth an automatic habit.
It may be, especially if youlike ADHD or something.
It may be something that youhave to make a conscious effort
for and force yourself to do so.
All I'm saying is take thiswith a grain of salt.
So if you are somebody, um whomaybe you're thinking, yeah,
(11:04):
like brushing my teeth does notcome naturally, I have to kind
of like force myself to do it,no matter how many times I do it
, no how many months and yearsI've been doing it, like it
still sucks and I have to forcemyself and and working out can
kind of feel like that as wellfor some people.
Um, you know, I would mayberesearch in and look into like
that executive dysfunction,neurodivergent stuff and just
(11:27):
look into it, because it can bevery helpful.
I particularly like redditforums, um of people because
they share more of theirpersonal stories and you can
really relate to a lot of things.
That was really eye-opening forme, especially if you're a
female.
Neurodivergence in femalesexpresses itself very
differently, especially adultfemales, compared to like what
(11:47):
the textbook classifies, whichtypically leans towards like
young boys.
So when you hear some of thosestories like oh my god, I was
like my life makes so much moresense now, so you might find an
explanation.
I'm not saying anybody isneurodivergent.
I'm not saying, oh my god, ifyou exhibit these things, you
are neurodivergent.
But, like I said, it can beeven just helpful looking at it
(12:08):
and just saying, hey, some ofthese techniques like if you're
a highly sensitive person, itcan help you kind of cope better
so you don't feel sooverwhelmed by day to day life.
And again, it can also help youif you feel like you've been
somebody who's struggling withworkouts and eating right and
you're doing everything thatthey tell you to do, but you're
like my brain does not work thisway.
(12:28):
I'm broken, something's wrongwith me.
No, you're not broken.
Something's not wrong with you.
You have just not created aroutine that supports your way
of thinking.
It's a different way ofthinking that they promote out
there, which doesn't surprise me.
So if you need more help withthat by the way, if you feel
like you are someone whostruggles, I'm really good at
coming up with custom programsand habits and routines that fit
(12:52):
unique brains, um, sodefinitely feel free to reach
out to me and I would love tohelp you.
I love the unique cases.
I'm not a cookie cutter coach,all right, but I hope that this
um helped you remember, out of ahundred workouts, 10% are
probably going to suck, 10% aregoing to be amazing.
The other 80% are going to beall right.
(13:13):
All right, guys.
So thank you for tuning in.
If you enjoyed this episode, Iwould actually really appreciate
it if you would share it withsomebody or share it to your
social media.
That is how other people seethis podcast, and it's free.
It's easy.
I don't make any money fromthis podcast.
I just love sharing informationwith you guys.
Hello everyone and welcome back to the Toned but
Tired podcast.
I apologize if you hearconstruction noises in the
background, for, like the pastmonth, I have had people working
on the sidewalks and such,literally right next to my house
.
So yeah, that's fun, but youknow we keep moving forward.
(00:21):
So, with that being said, todayI wanted to talk about a
concept keep moving forward.
So, with that being said, today, I wanted to talk about a
concept.
Anytime that I like, listen to apodcast or read something, so
I'm always kind of consumingstuff when I don't actively need
to be like 100% present.
So if I'm walking, I'm driving,I'm cooking, I'm doing dishes,
whatever, I kind of use thattime to educate.
(00:43):
Additionally, or sometimes, youknow, I'll watch, like you know
, sims or Hello Kitty orsomething stupid as well, but
when I come across somethingthat makes me think and go, huh,
that was really good, I want toshare it with you, and I think
this is really eye opening.
I think visuals, comparisons,metaphors, whatever you want to
call them, can be very helpfulin your health and fitness
(01:05):
journey to really truly conveywhat you're experiencing,
because I think a lot of thethings we see online, people are
showing their highlight moments, their best moments.
You're seeing like fitnessmodels, fitness influencers, who
are jacked and shredded.
They give you no context of howthey got there and they're just
like do these workouts.
Like the message you're seeingis do these workouts, you'll
(01:26):
look like me.
They're happy, they're excited,everything's fun because it's
their job.
Their job is to make you wantwhatever they got Right.
So, with that being said, letme share the little tidbit I
have today.
I want to talk about the bellcurve.
Have you ever heard of the bellcurve?
(01:46):
If you don't know what the bellcurve is, you've probably seen
it before and you've probablylearned about it in science
class and math class, especiallyif you took calculus.
Okay, so the bell curve I wantyou to picture.
It looks like a hill, okay,it's on a chart, and it starts
at the bottom and then it peaksat the top or a mountain, I
guess would be a betterdescription on a chart and and
it starts at the bottom and thenit um, peaks at the top or a
mountain, I guess would be abetter description or a bell,
(02:09):
and then it goes back down.
So the theory behind this isthis shows kind of just the
average of everything, so youcan use this for literally
anything.
Whatever you do, on average,about 10%, so that bottom half
of people will be in, like thelower region.
(02:31):
Then the other end that top 10%are people in the higher region
or whatever you're measuringand then the big middle.
The chunk in the middle is 80%and that's where mostly
everybody else falls, right.
I'm trying to think of a goodexample for this.
That's okay, we'll use theexample that I want to share
(02:55):
today, and then that'll make alittle more sense.
So I want to relate this in theidea of working out.
So think about 10% on the lowerhalf, 10% of your workouts out
of you know all the workoutsthat you do.
Let's just use the nice roundnumber of 100.
So 10% or 10 of your workoutsare going to suck, guaranteed
(03:16):
right Now, of course, there'sobviously like for my people who
are politically correct yes,this isn't exact science.
Of course.
If you measured 100 workouts,would exactly 10 of them be
terrible?
Maybe some people have you knowmore terrible ones or less
terrible, or maybe yourexperience is a little bit
different, but this is justagain, the average, right?
(03:36):
So 10% of them are going tosuck.
The top 10%, 10 of them aregoing to be amazing.
But then here's the kicker thatother 80% the other 80% are
just okay, they're meh, they'reaverage.
So why am I telling you this?
Okay, they're meh, they'reaverage.
So why am I telling you this?
I'm telling you this because Ithink we get caught up in
(03:57):
beating ourselves up for theperfectionists out there, the
all or nothings out there.
It's like if we didn't havelike a coming to Jesus, amazing,
high workout, you know we're afailure and in reality, only 10
of your workouts probably aregoing out of 100, are going to
(04:18):
feel like that.
I've been through stretches.
I've been through months ofgrinding through workouts.
Let me tell you, I have beenconsistently moving, even
through injuries and things,even if it was just walking or
yoga, for over 10 years now.
The longest I've maybe evertaken off from moving, I would
say would be like two months,right, but I move in some
(04:41):
capacity.
And there have been periodsthree, four, six months of my
life that I'll just be showingup for these workouts.
I'm like, yeah, I'm not feelingit, but I know I got to do it.
It's okay, it was all right,but it wasn't like amazing.
And there have been phaseswhere I've been like, wow, these
workouts are hitting.
I'm so excited for my workoutsand there's been times where I'm
(05:02):
like this sucks, this sucks ass.
I hate it, I don't want to doit here.
I'm giving up early.
I did something, you know, soyou're going to experience those
things one way or another.
And so what I am telling to youis, for the days that you're
(05:26):
like shouldn't I, shouldn't I befeeling something more?
Should I be feeling amazing,like that workout was just man,
am I doing this right?
Yes, you are only doing itwrong if you give up and you
stop showing up.
You need to keep moving forward,and I want to relate this to
brushing your teeth, but I havea little bit of nuance for my
critical thinking friends outthere.
So it is similar to brushingyour teeth, right?
(05:48):
I like to compare it tobrushing your teeth to work,
because, regardless, work isprobably a better example.
Well, I don't know.
I think they're both the same,I guess.
Um, if you don't want to do it,if you don't want to brush your
teeth, if you don't want to goto work, you still do it right,
because you're like man if Idon't brush my teeth, my breath
is gonna stink, my teeth aregonna fall out, I'm gonna get
cavities.
Um, if I don't go to work, I'mgonna get fired or written up or
(06:11):
whatever.
So I still have to go.
Some of us, even a little toomuch, will go in when we're
actually sick, but that's awhole other conversation.
But you need to treat yourworkouts like that.
It is your duty, it is aresponsibility to be healthy,
but you don't necessarily haveto be perfect with it, right?
You're not like brushing yourteeth 100% perfectly every
single time.
I know all of us skip thatflossing.
(06:33):
I know we do.
And when you go to work youcan't tell me that you're being
100% perfect.
I know you're playing around onyour computer some days and
you're just not feeling it andyou're just there, right.
So you know that's the samething with workouts.
That doesn't mean that you'reany less than if you don't show
up perfectly.
The fact that you're justingraining the habit, cementing
(06:53):
the habit that is really whatcounts in the long run.
And give yourself enough timeand I promise you you will get
better, I can tell you.
I distinctly remember I wasworking out for months probably
close to a year, maybe even alittle bit more at this point,
dabbling in and out.
But I remember when I wasworking out and there was a move
(07:15):
I was doing and I felt themuscles activate, like I knew it
, I was like, oh, this is whatI'm supposed to be feeling.
It was a tricep extension, atricep push down no-transcript,
(07:48):
actually.
Have that mind muscleconnection to engage the right
muscles, squeeze it, feel theburn, control it.
Totally different experience.
And you're going if you haven'texperienced it yet, you will
experience it one day and I waslike, oh, and that was amazing,
right, but it wouldn't havehappened if I didn't keep going
through those messy days Because, like, you can't get it perfect
(08:08):
right off the bat.
It's like asking a baby to getup and run.
Right, they have to crawl,stand up, fall down, walk a
little bit.
It's not like this perfectprogression of where they just
stand up and then they startwalking and running immediately.
Right, there's a lot of messups and that's that is how
working out is, that's how a lotof things are.
But before I wrap this littletidbit up, I did want to go back
(08:31):
to the kind of work andtoothbrush example, because
something that I have beenlooking at is I actually
recently have been working witha lot more neurodivergent
individuals and I would evenclassify like highly sensitive
(08:52):
people into this as well,because whether you're medically
diagnosed with neurodivergence,like you know, executive
(09:14):
dysfunction, overstimulation,different things like that.
So I found it helpful for me andmy clients who maybe struggle
with this and I found that thesetypes of clients are attracted
to me who maybe have these sametypes of tendencies to use some
of the coping tools thatneurodivergent use, like, for
(09:36):
instance, wearing headphones, ifyou're overstimulated by noise,
to kind of zone in listen tomusic so you can kind of chill
out a little bit right, likesuch a simple fix.
But it approaching my life inthat way and not forcing myself
to be like, just push through,you know you're overstimulated,
what's wrong with you?
Just just push through, suck.
You know you're overstimulated,what's wrong with you?
Just just push through, suck itup Instead, accommodating
myself properly, has made mylife 100 times easier.
(09:59):
And with that, though, I thinkthat's a big issue with fitness
as well.
I think a lot of us who and thishas kind of been a bigger
mission of mine that's beendeveloping as I've been training
more and more clients is, I'verealized that the standard way
of working out that kind of likebodybuilder mentality of just
push through again, suck it up,does not work for people's
(10:23):
brains who work like that.
And this goes back to thetoothbrush and the work example,
because I have seen a lot ofpeople in the neurodivergent
community actually comment onthis and say I hate when people
say you know, it's as simple asbrushing your teeth, because
someone who has neurodivergencenot everybody, because it's a
spectrum and everybody's sodifferent, it's so complex but
(10:43):
they may not find brushing theirteeth an automatic habit.
It may be, especially if youlike ADHD or something.
It may be something that youhave to make a conscious effort
for and force yourself to do so.
All I'm saying is take thiswith a grain of salt.
So if you are somebody, um whomaybe you're thinking, yeah,
(11:04):
like brushing my teeth does notcome naturally, I have to kind
of like force myself to do it,no matter how many times I do it
, no how many months and yearsI've been doing it, like it
still sucks and I have to forcemyself and and working out can
kind of feel like that as wellfor some people.
Um, you know, I would mayberesearch in and look into like
that executive dysfunction,neurodivergent stuff and just
(11:27):
look into it, because it can bevery helpful.
I particularly like redditforums, um of people because
they share more of theirpersonal stories and you can
really relate to a lot of things.
That was really eye-opening forme, especially if you're a
female.
Neurodivergence in femalesexpresses itself very
differently, especially adultfemales, compared to like what
(11:47):
the textbook classifies, whichtypically leans towards like
young boys.
So when you hear some of thosestories like oh my god, I was
like my life makes so much moresense now, so you might find an
explanation.
I'm not saying anybody isneurodivergent.
I'm not saying, oh my god, ifyou exhibit these things, you
are neurodivergent.
But, like I said, it can beeven just helpful looking at it
(12:08):
and just saying, hey, some ofthese techniques like if you're
a highly sensitive person, itcan help you kind of cope better
so you don't feel sooverwhelmed by day to day life.
And again, it can also help youif you feel like you've been
somebody who's struggling withworkouts and eating right and
you're doing everything thatthey tell you to do, but you're
like my brain does not work thisway.
(12:28):
I'm broken, something's wrongwith me.
No, you're not broken.
Something's not wrong with you.
You have just not created aroutine that supports your way
of thinking.
It's a different way ofthinking that they promote out
there, which doesn't surprise me.
So if you need more help withthat by the way, if you feel
like you are someone whostruggles, I'm really good at
coming up with custom programsand habits and routines that fit
(12:52):
unique brains, um, sodefinitely feel free to reach
out to me and I would love tohelp you.
I love the unique cases.
I'm not a cookie cutter coach,all right, but I hope that this
um helped you remember, out of ahundred workouts, 10% are
probably going to suck, 10% aregoing to be amazing.
The other 80% are going to beall right.
(13:13):
All right, guys.
So thank you for tuning in.
If you enjoyed this episode, Iwould actually really appreciate
it if you would share it withsomebody or share it to your
social media.
That is how other people seethis podcast, and it's free.
It's easy.
I don't make any money fromthis podcast.
I just love sharing informationwith you guys.
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