November 3, 2025 • 34 mins
Send me a text about the episode!
What happens when your business finally matches your brain, but your body demands a new playbook? I’m opening the door on a messy, meaningful season—going full-time in my own fitness brand, navigating PCOS and Hashimoto’s, and unmasking neurodivergent traits I’d hidden for years. The result is a different kind of coaching model built on autonomy, story, and sustainability.
I talk about the moment I left gym rules behind and had to build everything from scratch—systems, boundaries, and a schedule that respects real energy. Then I trace the health side: gray-zone labs, buying my own bloodwork, finding sky-high antibodies, and the reality of medication swings that make one month feel sluggish and the next wired. If you’ve ever doubted your symptoms because the numbers looked “fine,” this will feel familiar. Regulating my thyroid eased some PCOS symptoms, but the lesson was bigger: capacity changes, and your training must change with it.
On the mindset front, I share what high-masking looked like for me and why adrenaline used to be my productivity system. Burnout forced a reset, so I rebuilt movement with Pilates at the center and light strength layered in when it serves, not when it proves anything. That shift also sparked a new brand direction with cozy, witchy vibes that invite book lovers, gamers, and anyone who never felt at home in traditional fitness culture. Community events like cat Pilates lit the path for experiences that are joyful and inclusive.
The most exciting part is The Realm of You, a narrative fitness space where quests meet choices. Some days you lift; others you breathe, journal, or tune your nutrition—guided by a living story that makes consistency feel like curiosity. I’ve simplified the format into live weekly themes with story drops, so it complements any program without overwhelming your calendar. Intuition and nature guide how I build now, and the work finally feels like it fits.
If you’re craving training that honors your health, attention, and real life, come along. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs gentler structure, and leave a review with the one change you’re ready to make next.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode
of Toned But Tired Podcast.
Today I believe that you deservea nice big update from me.
So this is gonna be a little bitof a brain dump, which I hope
you don't mind.
Um that's kind of why I likepodcasts because they feel a
(00:21):
little bit more intimate.
It feels like we're sitting in aroom chit-chatting, uh, very low
effort.
So wherever you're at, if you'redriving, if you're cleaning, if
you're just cozy, you know,settle in and let me share some
things that have been going onwith me and the vision of myself
and my business moving forward.
(00:41):
And I hope that this inspiresyou as well to maybe make some
good changes in your life.
Alright, so we have a lot ofthings.
I feel like there was a lot oftransition going on.
I'm still currently goingthrough transition um with a lot
of things.
Um I think, you know, a coupleyears ago, 2023, was a big year
(01:06):
in the fact that I officiallywent full-time in my own fitness
business.
Um, I also got diagnosed withHashimoto's.
It it does run in my family onmy maternal side, the thyroid
issues.
Um, both my mom and grandma onmy mom's side got their thyroid
taken out, so I kind of wasn'tsurprised, but it was a heck of
(01:26):
a thing getting diagnosed.
You could probably go back inthis podcast and listen to the
episode where I dive deeper intothat.
Um, but there was a lot ofthings going on, and I also want
to add that I'm somebody who isvery impatient.
I'm quite the impatient person,and um I want things to happen
faster than what they are.
But it's funny looking backbecause at the time of recording
(01:49):
or at the end, uh like the lastquarter of 2025, and really it's
only been about two years, butit feels like so much has
happened between now and then.
But in the moment when you'regoing through the change, it
feels like nothing is happening.
That's the funny thing abouttime and perception and
perspective.
Um, but a lot has changed.
(02:09):
And I think one of the bigthings that started all of this
change for me was once I wentfull-time um for my own
business, it allowed me to stepinto myself because what I don't
think a lot of people understandis if you work for somebody, I
had never wanted to work forsomebody.
The goal was to always have myown business.
Um, you have to kind of followtheir rules.
(02:31):
So if you're a trainer, um, yes,you can have your own
personality and and things, butyou're always restricted, right?
You're viewed as whatever gymyou work for.
Um, you know, you're alignedwith them.
You do have to follow theirrules, their scheduling, um, all
kinds of things.
And this goes for any job ingeneral, and I'm just too
creative and I've just too manybig ideas, um, I think to be
(02:55):
held down.
I I think you know, working forsomebody is great if it works
for you, but that has never beenme.
I've always been that like, letme take this, put my own twist
on it, and run wild.
Um, so that's kind of stemmedthis whole journey, I think,
because once I was able to gofull-time for myself, it it
really was crazy.
(03:15):
It was this whole self-discoveryjourney where I was like, oh my
gosh, like nobody's holding meback.
I don't have this underlyingsense of like, oh, well, I can't
say this, and I can't talk aboutthis, and I can't fully promote
this uh because I'm affiliatedwith so and so.
Uh now that it's just me, itreally kind of forced me to look
(03:37):
inward to myself, how my brainoperates, who I am.
Um, it's been one of the hardestbut most rewarding journeys, I
would say.
Um and through this, it italmost feels like I've been
breaking myself down to buildmyself back up again.
And the thyroid stuff being thestart of it as well.
(03:57):
Um, you know, I created systemsfrom scratch as well.
I'm not gonna get too much intothe business stuff, so don't
worry, unless you're interestedin it.
Um I'm a nerd for all thatbusiness stuff, but um, you
know, they they don't have thishandbook, like there's not
really a guide.
Like a lot of businesses, like,oh, if you're a lawyer, there's
kind of like a structure.
Um, for trainers, it's kind ofthe Wild West.
(04:19):
Uh, there are somerecommendations, but again, I am
um never going with the granny,and I always need to put my own
twist on something.
So there's some very basicgeneric suggestions of what
trainers should do when theystart a business, and they kind
of suck.
I'm just gonna be honest.
So when it comes to trackingclients, check-in forms,
building things, buildingprograms, having waivers, um,
(04:43):
you know, cancellation policies,things like that, those like
just come out of nowhere.
So I had to basically create allthose, and some of those things
I've had to also learn throughtrial and error and being in the
business um and working formyself, and that's also been a
really uh big growth journey,just setting boundaries for
myself, um, managing my time,making people respect my time as
(05:05):
well as respecting theirs,because I'm a recovering people
pleaser, so that has been a hugejourney.
Um, but it's been very rewardingas well.
Now, aside from the businessstuff, I'm gonna go into the
health stuff.
This may sound, I'm gonna saythis is either gonna sound
overwhelming and ridiculousbecause this is something that I
kind of experience.
I experience a lot of feelingswhen I've come to terms with
(05:28):
these things, um, or you mayfeel validated and seen.
So whichever is fine.
You may feel somewhere inbetween, but I'm just sharing my
own personal experience and kindof how I view the lens um
because it's really frustrating.
I will say I have a coupledifferent quote unquote labels
for myself with like healthdiagnoses.
I think a lot of things that I'mexperiencing and that others can
(05:49):
relate to, we're still in agrowth phase of um medical
diagnoses, especially as afemale.
And um, I believe that somepoint in the future there's
probably gonna be more of ablanket diagnosis because a lot
of things I'm experiencing theykind of all come together,
they're categorized as differentthings, but you know, people
tend to experience them alltogether.
(06:10):
So it looks like you have 500different diagnoses and you're a
wreck, but it's like it's kindof the same thing, okay.
So, first thing we have theHashimoto's, right?
We we have the Hashimoto's.
Before the Hashimoto's, I wasactually diagnosed with PCOS,
and again, I have um morein-depth podcasts on that if you
want to dive deeper, so feelfree to go back um in the
(06:31):
archives.
But you know, PCOS is just ablanket term for um hormonal
imbalance, and I've always hadsuper irregular periods my whole
life, so that has been a littlewonky.
Then enter Hashimoto's, um, anautoimmune disorder where your
body attacks your thyroid.
Uh, there's really no rhyme orreason.
(06:51):
Sometimes it can be fine andsteady for months, even years,
and then all of a sudden it canflare up.
Um, ironically, my mom gotdiagnosed at the age of 27, and
that's when I was diagnosed.
Um, it was post-COVID as well.
I did have COVID one time.
I am vaccinated two times, so Idon't know if that played a
role, if it triggered it or not.
(07:13):
Um, but there was a period oftime for a couple months where I
started feeling really brainfoggy, really puffy, run down.
Um, I was struggling with agroin injury as well.
And just from a kind of watchand wait method with the
doctors, we saw that my TSH waskind of slowly, my thyroid
stimulating hormone was slowlyincreasing and um it wasn't
(07:34):
improving, and I was reallynailing down on like you know,
great movement, taking care torest, high-quality foods.
Like, I was doing everything andnothing changed.
Um, I did have to purchase myown blood work because they said
my thyroid wasn't like highenough, the numbers weren't high
enough to be diagnosed.
Um, upon my own research, it'sbased on symptoms.
(07:55):
The numbers don't alwaysnecessarily matter.
It was still above optimalrange.
And wouldn't you know it?
My thyroid antibodies, which youshould only have, I think one to
two or under 10, something crazylike that.
Mine were off the charts, so itdid show that I had Hashimoto's.
So I'm currently still kind ofin my medication journey where
I'm trying to find the rightdose that works for me.
(08:15):
This is another part of thechaos, I will say, that my PCOS
symptoms improved upon umgetting my thyroid regulated.
And um I am also on a birthcontrol that I take essentially
to control my PCOS symptoms, andI believe that that kind of um
(08:35):
also works better because of theHashimoto's.
And this is where I'm kind ofgetting into how things kind of
intertwine, right?
Um, I think when your thyroidlevels are normal, because it
regulates everything in yourbody, that probably helps
regulate your uh reproductivehormones, and then it probably
helps absorb medication better.
So we're we're working alltogether, right?
That's good.
The only issue which many peoplesuffer with is the swinging
(08:58):
between um underactive thyroidand overactive because of
dosage.
Uh, and in your thyroid meds, itcan change because in the colder
months your thyroid gets alittle more sluggish, so you may
end up needing slightly moremedication, um, or vice versa,
and it can just swing.
And for me, it seems like umevery three to six months, I'm
(09:20):
kind of like, okay, um, youknow, this is okay.
And then I'll kind of swing intounderactive.
I'm like, ooh, it graduallyhappens so slowly that you kind
of write it off, and that's thefrustrating part.
Um, I'll just be like, ooh, I'mreally puffy, and I have to eat
less and less, or I gain weight,and I have to keep doing more
and more working out.
And I'm very grateful, I think,with my healthy habits, it's
(09:41):
really only like a plus or minusof five pounds, maybe seven
pounds, if I'm, you know, ifthat's really on the extreme end
uh with my weight.
But as a trainer, you know, Itry to be very mindful, so it's
frustrating because you're like,I'm doing everything right.
Um, and you kind of gaslightyourself and you're like, is
this real?
You know, maybe I'm justoverreacting.
Um, well, I got a dose increaseabout three months ago, and I
(10:02):
think I slowly swung intoslightly hyper.
I got blood work this morning.
We're gonna see if myobservations are correct.
Um, but you know, I'm feeling alittle more on the anxious side
now.
I can kind of eat more, I stayleaner.
It sounds great, but like Isaid, I have this low level of
like anxiety.
It feels like people turn thedial up.
Um much more regular bathroomthings.
(10:25):
Like I can't tolerate a lot offood right now.
Like if I eat food, it goesright through me.
Um, but I'm hungry and um mymuscles kind of feel weak, like
like I'm just using up all theresources in my body way faster
than I should.
So it's it sounds fun.
It's nice to stay lean, but likeI have no energy to do things.
So here we are.
(10:46):
Um, so we're gonna see.
And and on top of it, my body isvery sensitive to changes.
I actually did um a DNA test.
I'm gonna talk a little bitabout that in a bit because it's
very interesting.
Um, that told me even more andpretty much confirmed everything
I've been feeling about myhealth.
Um, but my body is verysensitive to small changes.
Um, so that would make sense asto why, like, if doctors are
(11:08):
like, oh, it's not that big of adeal, I don't understand why
you're experiencing this.
And in reality, I amexperiencing a bigger um shift
than what is perceived becausemy body is sensitive.
Okay.
And then the third thing on topof all this is I briefly
mentioned it here and therebecause I don't want it to be
the main focus of me.
Um, but it is important, isneurodivergence.
(11:30):
So I believe that I have aw DHD,a combination of autism and
ADHD.
Maybe, I know I'm again, I'mgonna sound crazy, maybe a
little bit of chronic PTSDthrown in there from the
childhood.
Um, but I've done a ton ofresearch on it.
Um, I've taken a couple teststhat are similar to the ones
(11:52):
they use for screenings, um, andI've tested pretty high on
those.
Um, I I choose to remainself-diagnosed because I would
consider myself highfunctioning, high masking, um,
aka you can kind of blend inwith society.
The problem, um, especially withfemales, females exhibit um
(12:12):
neurodivergence a lotdifferently than what men
exhibit and and children, whichthe main focus, the general
media you see right now ismainly around children and
males, white males and whiteboys, I should say.
Um, and and you know, as always,females are different.
And um something that's beenreally validating for me, if
(12:34):
you're somebody that's kind ofcurious yourself, is I
personally liked to go onReddit.
Again, I know it sounds maybe alittle strange.
You could really go anywhere,but I just like Reddit because
it's a place that people kind ofbrain dump stuff.
Go into female um neurodivergentsubreddits and read their
personal experiences.
And if you notice that you arealigning really strongly with
(12:56):
these things, um, you know, itcould be worth checking out.
And here's also something that Iwant to say uh whether you
choose to label yourself or not,um I truly believe, again, it's
a spectrum.
You can maybe experience some ofthese things and not technically
be, you know, say, oh my god,you have neurodivergence of some
sort.
Um, but some of the tools thatthey use for everyday life can
(13:19):
be really helpful.
Um, so I've essentially kind ofbeen in this unmasking journey.
I've realized it's one of thosethings that you don't realize
you've been experiencing untilyou know what it is.
Because I didn't even know itwas a possibility for myself,
and it was a journey of manymonths, um, almost over a year
now, of like being like, hmm,coming to kind of terms with
this.
And the more you look back,you're like, oh my gosh, yeah,
(13:41):
this is what I was doing.
Um, I was essentially maskingagain, this is super common for
females, especiallyhigh-functioning, masking for
years and years and years, um,because it felt like I was
broken.
Like I felt like I just wasn'ttrying hard enough.
If I tried harder, I wouldeventually like the things would
(14:02):
click that came so easily topeople.
So things that come easily,which I if if you're not
neurodivergent, I don't expectyou to understand this because
it is like it's black and likeit, it's it's night and day.
You it's hard to wrap your mindaround it because you've never
experienced it.
Um, so I want to extend Grace toyou.
Um, it's okay if you don'tunderstand and you're like, what
(14:23):
is she talking about?
But um things that comenaturally, this is the best way
I can describe things that comenaturally to you know a
neurotypical person.
Um, maybe like making eyecontact, the light
conversations, um, just regulareveryday things, and this is a
mixture of autism and ADHDthings, you know, neurodivergent
(14:44):
people may have to think thinkabout it.
Um, and it may not stick forthem.
So a lot of things of like howyou should hold yourself, and
you know, there's a lot ofthings I took literally that
weren't meant to be takenliterally, or making eye contact
and presenting yourself in acertain way, and you need to act
this way and not that way.
If you act that way, it's bad,and people will not like you.
(15:06):
Neurotypicals are pretty good atsniffing out neurodivergence,
like they'll they'll just notlike you for some reason and
they don't know why.
Um, I've experienced that aswell, and and it's like, so
you're you're kind of in thisjourney.
I could make a whole podcastabout it, but that has also been
a part of my journey, and Ithink between my business and
that, I've been trying to findsystems in my life and routines
(15:28):
in my life that work.
Um, and I think between thehormonal swings and also the
journey of unmasking and tryingnot to put on a front and
knowing when it's healthy tomask in social scenarios versus
trying to mask out of likesafety of um you just want to
fit in, you know.
Um, learning to lean into myauthentic self, that rolled into
(15:50):
a lot more um progress in mybusiness as well.
Um, but it also produced someburnout.
It is normal for adults who areneurodivergent to experience
burnout, especially when you'reunmasking.
It's almost like your nervoussystem lets out a big breath and
it's like, oh my god, I canfinally breathe.
We've been on high alert.
(16:11):
I can tell you that I realized Iran on adrenaline.
Um, you know, I just kind of, itwas one of those things, again,
I didn't attach anything to.
I would, um, you know, thatfeeling kind of when you get
excited and hyped up.
Maybe you can't relate, maybeyou can.
Um, like butterflies in yourstomach, you're energized,
whether it comes from astressful place or a happy
(16:32):
place, you know, you have thatenergy burst, right?
Like, oh my god, I gotta getthis done.
I literally ran off of that.
That's a little bit more on theADHD side, but I ran off that.
That is how I function almostevery day, whatever it was,
that's how I learned to survive.
I learned that when I have thatadrenaline rush, that's when I'm
most focused.
(16:52):
That's when I get things done.
Um, obviously, that's nothealthy.
That would be like pushing yourfoot on the gas forever with
your car and never stopping.
Okay, eventually it's gonna burnout.
So I did experience and I'mstill kind of working through
some burnout in that extentbecause it's such a stark
contrast to be running likethat.
Like I basically learned how tonavigate my environment and
(17:15):
survive and adapt based off theknowledge I have.
And now that I have moreknowledge, I'm learning to kind
of unmask in a healthy way.
And it's funny because thingsthat didn't bother me before do
now.
And again, there's a huge thingwith even there's a ton of
studies around skill regressionwhen it comes to people that are
neurodivergent when they learnthat they're neurodivergent, you
(17:36):
kind of revert back and you loseskills.
Um, so it's been challenging inthat aspect.
Um, I've had to be a move a lotslower, and this kind of flows
into the life I've been livingright now.
Um, things have been a lotslower.
I have not been able to work outas hard as I would like.
I'm basically teaching myclasses.
I'm forever thankful forPilates, it has been my saving
(17:59):
grace.
Um, so I teach Pilates, um,mobility abs.
I'm working towards adding inback uh one to two strength
training days a week.
It's gonna be very light.
Um, but I used to deadlift 200pounds, and now it's like, you
know, some light machine dayswould kill me.
And I don't know if that's moreof the neurodivergence side or
more of the hormonal side.
(18:20):
Um, again, it's very common forpeople with neurodivergence to
have autoimmune disorders likeI'm experiencing.
So I think it's all kind ofconnected.
Um, but I'm kind of workingtowards that, and and I've been
really learning my body becauseI am a very creative person and
I'll have all these ideas, andthen I'll push, push, push for
like a couple hours and then Icrash.
(18:40):
So I've been really trying tonavigate that as well.
Um, my levels of like how muchcan I push and learning to stop
before it gets to the point ofburnout and incorporating more
cozy restorative activities, youknow, looking at what is
essential that needs done today,what absolutely needs done
today, what can push off fortomorrow.
And it's it's really hard whenyou want to be someone who I I
(19:03):
am very motivated and I'm notlazy, and that's something that
I I mean nobody has told methat, but there's a lot um of
stigma around there with peoplewho are neurodivergent, people
who have autoimmune conditions.
You don't look like anything isquote unquote wrong with you.
So if you do decide to rest, ifyou do decide to do less um and
not push through, you are viewedas lazy, and um that's something
(19:26):
I don't want, and it's hard,it's so funny because there's so
much I do want to do, and andthere's been times that I've
pushed through because I've beentold, you know, just suck it up
and pull yourself up by yourbootstraps, and that's just how
life is.
But you know, it truly for me, Imean this from the bottom of my
heart, in all honesty.
If I would do that, I wouldprobably end up in the hospital.
Um, and again, I know it'sreally hard to wrap your head
(19:48):
around that if you've neverexperienced it.
It's it's freaky.
I still like am in shock by itnow, um, for the fact of how
little movement I'm doingcompared to what I was, um, and
what makes me so sore and tryingagain to find that balance.
Um, nutrition has been great.
I've been working on that,supplementing with a couple
(20:09):
things, and again, so that'sjust been a big journey.
And it's been almost like anidentity thing because I was
always that strength training.
I was drawn to bodybuilding.
I love that style of training.
Um, I was kind of that underdogwhere I didn't, you know, do
sports, but I pushed myself in ahealthy way and I was able to
train to strength train.
And now um I'm I'm kind oftaking it gentle, but I'm very
(20:30):
thankful for fitness in thatsense that it is very dynamic
and you don't have to stick toone thing, and you can evolve
and you can go through thephases, which is what I'm so
passionate about teaching to myclients.
Um, and as I evolve, I'm hopingmaybe the people I reach evolve
as well.
Now, with that being said, um,the last thing I kind of want to
(20:51):
transition to of things thatI've been experiencing has been
my brand and what I've beenbuilding.
So, you know, through this wholejourney of learning all this
stuff about myself and having tokind of slow down, pull back, I
don't think this is gonna be aforever thing.
I think I'll probably be able tobuild capacity again, but I'm
kind of nourishing myself whereI'm at, um, trying not to be
(21:13):
impatient.
But um I've definitely leanedinto more, I'm in the middle of
it, it hasn't quite fullylaunched yet.
I'm more of a magical branding.
Um, so I'm leaning into kind ofmystical, witchy vibes, not
full-on witchy, because I stillwant to honor kind of just like
my general fitness clients, butI also want to add that magic
(21:36):
fantasy um realm for my my cozygamers, my cozy book readers, my
book club girls, uh, people whojust like magic, witchy stuff,
Halloween, um you know, thatmaybe want to get into the
fitness space, but don't feellike there's a spot for them.
(21:57):
And that's what I'm trying toincorporate because that's a big
part of me and and things Ienjoy.
And I think it helps to havenovelty, um, especially with
neurodivergent brains.
Again, not everybody's gonna beneurodivergent, but I think uh
the messages that I convey andand the way I've taught people
(22:17):
has helped neurodivergent peoplethrough fitness, because I don't
think that stereotypical fitnessnecessarily works for
neurodivergent brains, as wellas many other people out there.
And you know, if you feel liketraditional fitness hasn't
worked for you, it would beworth looking into how I teach
because I do think I take a verydifferent approach, and it's
funny because I feel like I'vesubtly have adapted that over
(22:40):
the years, and that's why I gotinto the fitness space.
I saw what I liked, but then Iput my own twist onto things to
make it work for me because alot of that stereotypical stuff
would never last for me.
It kind of gave me that ickyfeel, so I wanted to create a
space that was a little bitdifferent, and with that, you
will see that through myworkouts.
Um two big things is I've beencreating a lot of community.
(23:04):
I think there's a need forcommunity.
It's funny because I considermyself not necessarily
introverted, but maybe aneurodivergent thing.
It's very draining to be out insocial environments.
Um, when I'm teaching though,it's very energizing for me, but
it does still take that energyout.
Um, but I do believe there'sthat need for community events.
(23:25):
So what I've been starting to dois I'm actually partnering up
with a lot of local smallbusinesses to come together to
offer a unique fitnessexperience.
And I've been loving it.
Like cat Pilates was the firstthing that I was working on.
Um, and it's been a hit.
You know, doing Pilates withlittle kitties running around at
a cat cafe, and half of theproceeds benefit the cats.
(23:46):
It's been wonderful, and that'smade me expand to other things.
I have a lot of fun thingscoming.
Um, I'm not gonna say what thoseare exactly now, but there's
other furry friends in the mixthat I'll be able to partner up
with.
Um, different avenues ofcoziness, um even maybe some
painting in there.
So I have a lot of fun eventsall the way up to spring led up
(24:10):
there.
Um, so I plan my goal is to dotwo of those a month for right
now.
So that's been really fun.
And then my other kind ofpassion project that literally
came out of nowhere one day whenI was doing dishes.
I know it sounds crazy becauseeverybody's always like, um,
yoke.
Like when I hear those stories,I'm like, yeah, like the idea
(24:30):
literally just came to you outof nowhere, but no, it literally
just came out of nowhere.
Um, is the realm of you.
So I have been this has been mylittle baby.
It's been again my littlepassion project.
Um, and I invite you to join.
Right now it's free.
Um, I had it in a beta for alittle bit with some close
people, they just paid me$9 onetime, and then I decided to make
(24:53):
it free.
Um, and I think it willeventually become something
that's paid in the future.
Um because I do put a lot oftime and effort into it, but I'm
not quite sure where I want togo with it yet.
And I haven't worked out thekinks, so you know, I don't want
to do a disservice to you andhave you pay for something
that's um not quite where itneeds to be, but your feedback
(25:16):
would be valuable to make thisthe best that it can be.
I don't think there's anythingout there like this.
So, what the realm of you is,it's hosted on school, which is
kind of like Facebook groupswithout Facebook, no ads or
anything annoying, which islovely in this social media era.
But school is S-K-O-O-L.
I love the platform, it's verysimple.
(25:36):
The only downside I would saywith school is it's like a
separate thing that you have tolog into compared to other
social media, but it has an appon your phone, it's really easy,
user-friendly, you can usedesktop.
I love it.
So school.
Um, school with the realm ofyou, there's a little forum, and
then there's a classroom withdifferent modules.
(25:57):
And my original plan was therealm is this magical fantasy
realm of dragons, and you know,anything magical you can think
of.
The the realm is endless, thepossibilities are endless.
Um, the first thing I did was Icreated a four-week quest, a
starter quest that you're kindof called into the realm, and
(26:19):
each week you progress through.
It's very detailed.
There's a lot of written lore,so it kind of reads like a
story.
Okay, that is part of it.
I want you for my you know,nerds out there and my readers
and my book club girlies, I wantit to read like a story.
Um, you have this lore, right?
That's gonna bring you backevery day and excite you.
(26:40):
But on top of it, the fitnessand health component that comes
in is um I'm making it a littlebit of like choose your own
adventure DD style where you'regoing to be faced with choices
each day where you know thestory progresses, and then maybe
you have three options.
You know, you run into a gate.
(27:00):
What do you do?
There's option one, option two,option three, and it will depend
on what you're feeling that day.
It may be a workout, it may be ameditation, maybe it's something
with nutrition, maybe it's areflection, and I love that
because it allows you to kind ofhonor a path that works for you.
There's something out there formy workout junkies who just want
to strength train and do crazycircuits and stuff.
(27:22):
There's something out there formore of my restorative girlies
that want more meditation,reflection, stretching, um, all
that.
And then there's another optionfor maybe if you're looking for
for something that's notmovement related, but focuses on
your health, whether it'smindfulness, journaling,
reflection, nutrition.
Um, so there's different pathsand it changes depending on the
(27:43):
day.
Um, I varied a little bit andit's really cool in that aspect.
Um you can, you know, hatch adragon, collect a dragon egg in
the first four weeks is really,really cool.
Um, but then I kind of noticedthat it was a lot.
I think the way I laid it outfor the first four weeks is
good, but moving forward, Irealized it wasn't sustainable
(28:07):
to constantly pump out contentlike that as a one-man show
running a business that has youknow autoimmune issues and
struggles, um, but a supercreative mind.
So I was like, how can Isimplify this?
And it kind of sat there for awhile, but now I have this new
idea.
So the next installment isMoonvale Rights.
I have the story written out andeverything.
(28:27):
Um it's you know, you enter theMoon Vale, it's it's a magical,
mysterious forest.
There is a moon, um, and there'sa vampire and werewolf little
kind of side love quest.
Well, I wanted to simplify againfor everybody, and what I've
decided to do, I'm running itnext week.
I'm very excited.
Um, I'm gonna be running thesechallenges live.
(28:50):
So, and they'll be updatedwithin the course as well.
So, within the group chat, eachweek I'm gonna be making a post
of like, hey, this is week one.
And instead of focusing on like,oh my god, you gotta click in
every day, and here's all theseworkouts and this and that, week
one will have a general theme,right?
We're gonna have a general themefor that week.
(29:10):
So, you know, you can do thisalongside a workout program.
Or if you're somebody who isstarting slow and just needs
something simple, you can do itstandalone as well.
I don't want you to feel likeyou have this, you know, a
hundred different workouts tokeep up with.
So, you know, week one will havea general focus.
And then you're going tothroughout the week, I plan on
(29:30):
doing like a Monday, Wednesday,Friday.
I might update the story, it'lldeepen a little bit more
Wednesday, and we're gonna buildupon whatever the week one theme
is, right?
And then Friday will kind of bea wrap up and a reflection.
So it's a little bit easier, um,more intentional.
We still don't lose the story,we don't lose the magic.
Um, but we get to really zone inon one key thing each week, and
(29:53):
I uh, you know, four full weeksof whatever it is.
So I'm really excited aboutthat.
That feels a lot better for me.
For me, my brain execution, thatis something that's really
important to me.
I will tell you that I will notexecute on something if it
doesn't feel right.
If something feels wrong, I'mgonna wait until it feels right
(30:14):
for me.
And I believe that should be thecase for you too.
I am, you know, a believer ofmessy action.
Um, but even if the action isgonna be messy, it should still
feel aligned to you because ifit doesn't feel right, the
energy is gonna catch up to youand it drains you.
I don't know about you, butthat's the case for me.
It would be very draining.
So that is what is going on, andI'm really really, really
(30:34):
excited.
Um, we have 12 members currentlyin the realm.
Um, again, this is free rightnow, and I'll probably keep it
free for a while, probably earlyinto 2026.
Um, I'm not gonna set any dateson that because until again it
feels right and I get feedbackand I feel in a good groove,
will I begin to charge?
(30:55):
And there'll be a heads up forthat.
And I think the group will stayfree um because I love the
community and I think I'm stillgoing to give a lot of free
value.
If anything, if there's justlike these kind of full quests
and challenges, I think thosewill be paid for, but again,
they will be very reasonablypriced as well.
So, again, this is just kind ofthings that are have been
(31:16):
floating in my mind.
So that has been what has beengoing on.
Um, I've been in a very deepjourney of introspection and
change, and it's all been goodthings, and I feel it's funny
because I've kind of leaned moreinto my intuition.
I've been using tarot cards.
Um, I also would say, not thatit really matters, but like my
(31:38):
religion.
I uh was raised Roman Catholic,very strict, but now I do
believe in a higher power, but Idon't necessarily associate
myself with one thing.
I I don't associate myself witha religion.
Um, I respect everybody's ownreligion.
Um, if anything I would say tohelp me visualize my practice, I
kind of lean more into nature,if that makes sense.
(32:00):
I lean into the sense that theuniverse I actually made a
podcast on this as well.
I don't think my views havechanged very much since then,
but um, I kind of just lean intothat the the universe has energy
and there's this sense ofenergy.
Um I look to nature for lessonsand see how it flows because I
believe we're all connected.
Um, like my tarot cards, forinstance, um, I like to use it
(32:21):
as a reflection tool and um kindof take that energy and message
as guidance.
And for me personally, I'venoticed that when I get that
good feeling about energy and Ilean into the energy, um, which
often is going against the grainof what is traditionally
accepted by a lot of people, itjust flows better for me, and
(32:44):
things turn out better than metrying to force myself into what
everybody else is doing andforce myself into that way.
Um, same thing with business.
A lot of the things that arefrowned upon in business, I do,
and it feels good for me, and itends up working for me.
When I force myself into thesleazy traditional business
tactics, um, it doesn't work andit doesn't go well for me, and I
(33:06):
end up getting drained and it'sno fun.
So, so this is also your your uhmessage to find what works for
you.
Don't stop that pursuit of umfinding what works best for you,
your brain, your body, yourlife.
Because when you do find whatworks well, I think that energy
will flow with you and thingswill work out for the best, and
(33:28):
everybody's different, you know.
Um, I was never built to be thatlike stereotypical person.
I think I was one of the youknow the the side people.
I'm a unique, I'm a uniquecombination of things, so I
think my approach needs to beunique and it works for me.
Um, but yeah, so I'm gonna wrapup this episode, just a little
(33:49):
brain dump to kind of bringthings full circle to where I've
been at.
I've been wanting to make thisepisode for a while, so it feels
really good to kind of get thatout there.
And if you made it this far,thank you for listening to my
update.
Um, and check out the realm ifyou haven't already.
I'll drop a link in the shownotes.
Like I said, it's free.
So, you know, I'd love to haveyou there if you're into that
magical fantasy stuff, because Ifeel like there's not a space
(34:12):
like this in the fitness spaceright now, how I'm doing it.
Um, so it'd be great to have youa part of that journey.
But alright, thank you fortuning in, and I will catch you
in the next one.
Bye for now.
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode
of Toned But Tired Podcast.
Today I believe that you deservea nice big update from me.
So this is gonna be a little bitof a brain dump, which I hope
you don't mind.
Um that's kind of why I likepodcasts because they feel a
(00:21):
little bit more intimate.
It feels like we're sitting in aroom chit-chatting, uh, very low
effort.
So wherever you're at, if you'redriving, if you're cleaning, if
you're just cozy, you know,settle in and let me share some
things that have been going onwith me and the vision of myself
and my business moving forward.
(00:41):
And I hope that this inspiresyou as well to maybe make some
good changes in your life.
Alright, so we have a lot ofthings.
I feel like there was a lot oftransition going on.
I'm still currently goingthrough transition um with a lot
of things.
Um I think, you know, a coupleyears ago, 2023, was a big year
(01:06):
in the fact that I officiallywent full-time in my own fitness
business.
Um, I also got diagnosed withHashimoto's.
It it does run in my family onmy maternal side, the thyroid
issues.
Um, both my mom and grandma onmy mom's side got their thyroid
taken out, so I kind of wasn'tsurprised, but it was a heck of
(01:26):
a thing getting diagnosed.
You could probably go back inthis podcast and listen to the
episode where I dive deeper intothat.
Um, but there was a lot ofthings going on, and I also want
to add that I'm somebody who isvery impatient.
I'm quite the impatient person,and um I want things to happen
faster than what they are.
But it's funny looking backbecause at the time of recording
(01:49):
or at the end, uh like the lastquarter of 2025, and really it's
only been about two years, butit feels like so much has
happened between now and then.
But in the moment when you'regoing through the change, it
feels like nothing is happening.
That's the funny thing abouttime and perception and
perspective.
Um, but a lot has changed.
(02:09):
And I think one of the bigthings that started all of this
change for me was once I wentfull-time um for my own
business, it allowed me to stepinto myself because what I don't
think a lot of people understandis if you work for somebody, I
had never wanted to work forsomebody.
The goal was to always have myown business.
Um, you have to kind of followtheir rules.
(02:31):
So if you're a trainer, um, yes,you can have your own
personality and and things, butyou're always restricted, right?
You're viewed as whatever gymyou work for.
Um, you know, you're alignedwith them.
You do have to follow theirrules, their scheduling, um, all
kinds of things.
And this goes for any job ingeneral, and I'm just too
creative and I've just too manybig ideas, um, I think to be
(02:55):
held down.
I I think you know, working forsomebody is great if it works
for you, but that has never beenme.
I've always been that like, letme take this, put my own twist
on it, and run wild.
Um, so that's kind of stemmedthis whole journey, I think,
because once I was able to gofull-time for myself, it it
really was crazy.
(03:15):
It was this whole self-discoveryjourney where I was like, oh my
gosh, like nobody's holding meback.
I don't have this underlyingsense of like, oh, well, I can't
say this, and I can't talk aboutthis, and I can't fully promote
this uh because I'm affiliatedwith so and so.
Uh now that it's just me, itreally kind of forced me to look
(03:37):
inward to myself, how my brainoperates, who I am.
Um, it's been one of the hardestbut most rewarding journeys, I
would say.
Um and through this, it italmost feels like I've been
breaking myself down to buildmyself back up again.
And the thyroid stuff being thestart of it as well.
(03:57):
Um, you know, I created systemsfrom scratch as well.
I'm not gonna get too much intothe business stuff, so don't
worry, unless you're interestedin it.
Um I'm a nerd for all thatbusiness stuff, but um, you
know, they they don't have thishandbook, like there's not
really a guide.
Like a lot of businesses, like,oh, if you're a lawyer, there's
kind of like a structure.
Um, for trainers, it's kind ofthe Wild West.
(04:19):
Uh, there are somerecommendations, but again, I am
um never going with the granny,and I always need to put my own
twist on something.
So there's some very basicgeneric suggestions of what
trainers should do when theystart a business, and they kind
of suck.
I'm just gonna be honest.
So when it comes to trackingclients, check-in forms,
building things, buildingprograms, having waivers, um,
(04:43):
you know, cancellation policies,things like that, those like
just come out of nowhere.
So I had to basically create allthose, and some of those things
I've had to also learn throughtrial and error and being in the
business um and working formyself, and that's also been a
really uh big growth journey,just setting boundaries for
myself, um, managing my time,making people respect my time as
(05:05):
well as respecting theirs,because I'm a recovering people
pleaser, so that has been a hugejourney.
Um, but it's been very rewardingas well.
Now, aside from the businessstuff, I'm gonna go into the
health stuff.
This may sound, I'm gonna saythis is either gonna sound
overwhelming and ridiculousbecause this is something that I
kind of experience.
I experience a lot of feelingswhen I've come to terms with
(05:28):
these things, um, or you mayfeel validated and seen.
So whichever is fine.
You may feel somewhere inbetween, but I'm just sharing my
own personal experience and kindof how I view the lens um
because it's really frustrating.
I will say I have a coupledifferent quote unquote labels
for myself with like healthdiagnoses.
I think a lot of things that I'mexperiencing and that others can
(05:49):
relate to, we're still in agrowth phase of um medical
diagnoses, especially as afemale.
And um, I believe that somepoint in the future there's
probably gonna be more of ablanket diagnosis because a lot
of things I'm experiencing theykind of all come together,
they're categorized as differentthings, but you know, people
tend to experience them alltogether.
(06:10):
So it looks like you have 500different diagnoses and you're a
wreck, but it's like it's kindof the same thing, okay.
So, first thing we have theHashimoto's, right?
We we have the Hashimoto's.
Before the Hashimoto's, I wasactually diagnosed with PCOS,
and again, I have um morein-depth podcasts on that if you
want to dive deeper, so feelfree to go back um in the
(06:31):
archives.
But you know, PCOS is just ablanket term for um hormonal
imbalance, and I've always hadsuper irregular periods my whole
life, so that has been a littlewonky.
Then enter Hashimoto's, um, anautoimmune disorder where your
body attacks your thyroid.
Uh, there's really no rhyme orreason.
(06:51):
Sometimes it can be fine andsteady for months, even years,
and then all of a sudden it canflare up.
Um, ironically, my mom gotdiagnosed at the age of 27, and
that's when I was diagnosed.
Um, it was post-COVID as well.
I did have COVID one time.
I am vaccinated two times, so Idon't know if that played a
role, if it triggered it or not.
(07:13):
Um, but there was a period oftime for a couple months where I
started feeling really brainfoggy, really puffy, run down.
Um, I was struggling with agroin injury as well.
And just from a kind of watchand wait method with the
doctors, we saw that my TSH waskind of slowly, my thyroid
stimulating hormone was slowlyincreasing and um it wasn't
(07:34):
improving, and I was reallynailing down on like you know,
great movement, taking care torest, high-quality foods.
Like, I was doing everything andnothing changed.
Um, I did have to purchase myown blood work because they said
my thyroid wasn't like highenough, the numbers weren't high
enough to be diagnosed.
Um, upon my own research, it'sbased on symptoms.
(07:55):
The numbers don't alwaysnecessarily matter.
It was still above optimalrange.
And wouldn't you know it?
My thyroid antibodies, which youshould only have, I think one to
two or under 10, something crazylike that.
Mine were off the charts, so itdid show that I had Hashimoto's.
So I'm currently still kind ofin my medication journey where
I'm trying to find the rightdose that works for me.
(08:15):
This is another part of thechaos, I will say, that my PCOS
symptoms improved upon umgetting my thyroid regulated.
And um I am also on a birthcontrol that I take essentially
to control my PCOS symptoms, andI believe that that kind of um
(08:35):
also works better because of theHashimoto's.
And this is where I'm kind ofgetting into how things kind of
intertwine, right?
Um, I think when your thyroidlevels are normal, because it
regulates everything in yourbody, that probably helps
regulate your uh reproductivehormones, and then it probably
helps absorb medication better.
So we're we're working alltogether, right?
That's good.
The only issue which many peoplesuffer with is the swinging
(08:58):
between um underactive thyroidand overactive because of
dosage.
Uh, and in your thyroid meds, itcan change because in the colder
months your thyroid gets alittle more sluggish, so you may
end up needing slightly moremedication, um, or vice versa,
and it can just swing.
And for me, it seems like umevery three to six months, I'm
(09:20):
kind of like, okay, um, youknow, this is okay.
And then I'll kind of swing intounderactive.
I'm like, ooh, it graduallyhappens so slowly that you kind
of write it off, and that's thefrustrating part.
Um, I'll just be like, ooh, I'mreally puffy, and I have to eat
less and less, or I gain weight,and I have to keep doing more
and more working out.
And I'm very grateful, I think,with my healthy habits, it's
(09:41):
really only like a plus or minusof five pounds, maybe seven
pounds, if I'm, you know, ifthat's really on the extreme end
uh with my weight.
But as a trainer, you know, Itry to be very mindful, so it's
frustrating because you're like,I'm doing everything right.
Um, and you kind of gaslightyourself and you're like, is
this real?
You know, maybe I'm justoverreacting.
Um, well, I got a dose increaseabout three months ago, and I
(10:02):
think I slowly swung intoslightly hyper.
I got blood work this morning.
We're gonna see if myobservations are correct.
Um, but you know, I'm feeling alittle more on the anxious side
now.
I can kind of eat more, I stayleaner.
It sounds great, but like Isaid, I have this low level of
like anxiety.
It feels like people turn thedial up.
Um much more regular bathroomthings.
(10:25):
Like I can't tolerate a lot offood right now.
Like if I eat food, it goesright through me.
Um, but I'm hungry and um mymuscles kind of feel weak, like
like I'm just using up all theresources in my body way faster
than I should.
So it's it sounds fun.
It's nice to stay lean, but likeI have no energy to do things.
So here we are.
(10:46):
Um, so we're gonna see.
And and on top of it, my body isvery sensitive to changes.
I actually did um a DNA test.
I'm gonna talk a little bitabout that in a bit because it's
very interesting.
Um, that told me even more andpretty much confirmed everything
I've been feeling about myhealth.
Um, but my body is verysensitive to small changes.
Um, so that would make sense asto why, like, if doctors are
(11:08):
like, oh, it's not that big of adeal, I don't understand why
you're experiencing this.
And in reality, I amexperiencing a bigger um shift
than what is perceived becausemy body is sensitive.
Okay.
And then the third thing on topof all this is I briefly
mentioned it here and therebecause I don't want it to be
the main focus of me.
Um, but it is important, isneurodivergence.
(11:30):
So I believe that I have aw DHD,a combination of autism and
ADHD.
Maybe, I know I'm again, I'mgonna sound crazy, maybe a
little bit of chronic PTSDthrown in there from the
childhood.
Um, but I've done a ton ofresearch on it.
Um, I've taken a couple teststhat are similar to the ones
(11:52):
they use for screenings, um, andI've tested pretty high on
those.
Um, I I choose to remainself-diagnosed because I would
consider myself highfunctioning, high masking, um,
aka you can kind of blend inwith society.
The problem, um, especially withfemales, females exhibit um
(12:12):
neurodivergence a lotdifferently than what men
exhibit and and children, whichthe main focus, the general
media you see right now ismainly around children and
males, white males and whiteboys, I should say.
Um, and and you know, as always,females are different.
And um something that's beenreally validating for me, if
(12:34):
you're somebody that's kind ofcurious yourself, is I
personally liked to go onReddit.
Again, I know it sounds maybe alittle strange.
You could really go anywhere,but I just like Reddit because
it's a place that people kind ofbrain dump stuff.
Go into female um neurodivergentsubreddits and read their
personal experiences.
And if you notice that you arealigning really strongly with
(12:56):
these things, um, you know, itcould be worth checking out.
And here's also something that Iwant to say uh whether you
choose to label yourself or not,um I truly believe, again, it's
a spectrum.
You can maybe experience some ofthese things and not technically
be, you know, say, oh my god,you have neurodivergence of some
sort.
Um, but some of the tools thatthey use for everyday life can
(13:19):
be really helpful.
Um, so I've essentially kind ofbeen in this unmasking journey.
I've realized it's one of thosethings that you don't realize
you've been experiencing untilyou know what it is.
Because I didn't even know itwas a possibility for myself,
and it was a journey of manymonths, um, almost over a year
now, of like being like, hmm,coming to kind of terms with
this.
And the more you look back,you're like, oh my gosh, yeah,
(13:41):
this is what I was doing.
Um, I was essentially maskingagain, this is super common for
females, especiallyhigh-functioning, masking for
years and years and years, um,because it felt like I was
broken.
Like I felt like I just wasn'ttrying hard enough.
If I tried harder, I wouldeventually like the things would
(14:02):
click that came so easily topeople.
So things that come easily,which I if if you're not
neurodivergent, I don't expectyou to understand this because
it is like it's black and likeit, it's it's night and day.
You it's hard to wrap your mindaround it because you've never
experienced it.
Um, so I want to extend Grace toyou.
Um, it's okay if you don'tunderstand and you're like, what
(14:23):
is she talking about?
But um things that comenaturally, this is the best way
I can describe things that comenaturally to you know a
neurotypical person.
Um, maybe like making eyecontact, the light
conversations, um, just regulareveryday things, and this is a
mixture of autism and ADHDthings, you know, neurodivergent
(14:44):
people may have to think thinkabout it.
Um, and it may not stick forthem.
So a lot of things of like howyou should hold yourself, and
you know, there's a lot ofthings I took literally that
weren't meant to be takenliterally, or making eye contact
and presenting yourself in acertain way, and you need to act
this way and not that way.
If you act that way, it's bad,and people will not like you.
(15:06):
Neurotypicals are pretty good atsniffing out neurodivergence,
like they'll they'll just notlike you for some reason and
they don't know why.
Um, I've experienced that aswell, and and it's like, so
you're you're kind of in thisjourney.
I could make a whole podcastabout it, but that has also been
a part of my journey, and Ithink between my business and
that, I've been trying to findsystems in my life and routines
(15:28):
in my life that work.
Um, and I think between thehormonal swings and also the
journey of unmasking and tryingnot to put on a front and
knowing when it's healthy tomask in social scenarios versus
trying to mask out of likesafety of um you just want to
fit in, you know.
Um, learning to lean into myauthentic self, that rolled into
(15:50):
a lot more um progress in mybusiness as well.
Um, but it also produced someburnout.
It is normal for adults who areneurodivergent to experience
burnout, especially when you'reunmasking.
It's almost like your nervoussystem lets out a big breath and
it's like, oh my god, I canfinally breathe.
We've been on high alert.
(16:11):
I can tell you that I realized Iran on adrenaline.
Um, you know, I just kind of, itwas one of those things, again,
I didn't attach anything to.
I would, um, you know, thatfeeling kind of when you get
excited and hyped up.
Maybe you can't relate, maybeyou can.
Um, like butterflies in yourstomach, you're energized,
whether it comes from astressful place or a happy
(16:32):
place, you know, you have thatenergy burst, right?
Like, oh my god, I gotta getthis done.
I literally ran off of that.
That's a little bit more on theADHD side, but I ran off that.
That is how I function almostevery day, whatever it was,
that's how I learned to survive.
I learned that when I have thatadrenaline rush, that's when I'm
most focused.
(16:52):
That's when I get things done.
Um, obviously, that's nothealthy.
That would be like pushing yourfoot on the gas forever with
your car and never stopping.
Okay, eventually it's gonna burnout.
So I did experience and I'mstill kind of working through
some burnout in that extentbecause it's such a stark
contrast to be running likethat.
Like I basically learned how tonavigate my environment and
(17:15):
survive and adapt based off theknowledge I have.
And now that I have moreknowledge, I'm learning to kind
of unmask in a healthy way.
And it's funny because thingsthat didn't bother me before do
now.
And again, there's a huge thingwith even there's a ton of
studies around skill regressionwhen it comes to people that are
neurodivergent when they learnthat they're neurodivergent, you
(17:36):
kind of revert back and you loseskills.
Um, so it's been challenging inthat aspect.
Um, I've had to be a move a lotslower, and this kind of flows
into the life I've been livingright now.
Um, things have been a lotslower.
I have not been able to work outas hard as I would like.
I'm basically teaching myclasses.
I'm forever thankful forPilates, it has been my saving
(17:59):
grace.
Um, so I teach Pilates, um,mobility abs.
I'm working towards adding inback uh one to two strength
training days a week.
It's gonna be very light.
Um, but I used to deadlift 200pounds, and now it's like, you
know, some light machine dayswould kill me.
And I don't know if that's moreof the neurodivergence side or
more of the hormonal side.
(18:20):
Um, again, it's very common forpeople with neurodivergence to
have autoimmune disorders likeI'm experiencing.
So I think it's all kind ofconnected.
Um, but I'm kind of workingtowards that, and and I've been
really learning my body becauseI am a very creative person and
I'll have all these ideas, andthen I'll push, push, push for
like a couple hours and then Icrash.
(18:40):
So I've been really trying tonavigate that as well.
Um, my levels of like how muchcan I push and learning to stop
before it gets to the point ofburnout and incorporating more
cozy restorative activities, youknow, looking at what is
essential that needs done today,what absolutely needs done
today, what can push off fortomorrow.
And it's it's really hard whenyou want to be someone who I I
(19:03):
am very motivated and I'm notlazy, and that's something that
I I mean nobody has told methat, but there's a lot um of
stigma around there with peoplewho are neurodivergent, people
who have autoimmune conditions.
You don't look like anything isquote unquote wrong with you.
So if you do decide to rest, ifyou do decide to do less um and
not push through, you are viewedas lazy, and um that's something
(19:26):
I don't want, and it's hard,it's so funny because there's so
much I do want to do, and andthere's been times that I've
pushed through because I've beentold, you know, just suck it up
and pull yourself up by yourbootstraps, and that's just how
life is.
But you know, it truly for me, Imean this from the bottom of my
heart, in all honesty.
If I would do that, I wouldprobably end up in the hospital.
Um, and again, I know it'sreally hard to wrap your head
(19:48):
around that if you've neverexperienced it.
It's it's freaky.
I still like am in shock by itnow, um, for the fact of how
little movement I'm doingcompared to what I was, um, and
what makes me so sore and tryingagain to find that balance.
Um, nutrition has been great.
I've been working on that,supplementing with a couple
(20:09):
things, and again, so that'sjust been a big journey.
And it's been almost like anidentity thing because I was
always that strength training.
I was drawn to bodybuilding.
I love that style of training.
Um, I was kind of that underdogwhere I didn't, you know, do
sports, but I pushed myself in ahealthy way and I was able to
train to strength train.
And now um I'm I'm kind oftaking it gentle, but I'm very
(20:30):
thankful for fitness in thatsense that it is very dynamic
and you don't have to stick toone thing, and you can evolve
and you can go through thephases, which is what I'm so
passionate about teaching to myclients.
Um, and as I evolve, I'm hopingmaybe the people I reach evolve
as well.
Now, with that being said, um,the last thing I kind of want to
(20:51):
transition to of things thatI've been experiencing has been
my brand and what I've beenbuilding.
So, you know, through this wholejourney of learning all this
stuff about myself and having tokind of slow down, pull back, I
don't think this is gonna be aforever thing.
I think I'll probably be able tobuild capacity again, but I'm
kind of nourishing myself whereI'm at, um, trying not to be
(21:13):
impatient.
But um I've definitely leanedinto more, I'm in the middle of
it, it hasn't quite fullylaunched yet.
I'm more of a magical branding.
Um, so I'm leaning into kind ofmystical, witchy vibes, not
full-on witchy, because I stillwant to honor kind of just like
my general fitness clients, butI also want to add that magic
(21:36):
fantasy um realm for my my cozygamers, my cozy book readers, my
book club girls, uh, people whojust like magic, witchy stuff,
Halloween, um you know, thatmaybe want to get into the
fitness space, but don't feellike there's a spot for them.
(21:57):
And that's what I'm trying toincorporate because that's a big
part of me and and things Ienjoy.
And I think it helps to havenovelty, um, especially with
neurodivergent brains.
Again, not everybody's gonna beneurodivergent, but I think uh
the messages that I convey andand the way I've taught people
(22:17):
has helped neurodivergent peoplethrough fitness, because I don't
think that stereotypical fitnessnecessarily works for
neurodivergent brains, as wellas many other people out there.
And you know, if you feel liketraditional fitness hasn't
worked for you, it would beworth looking into how I teach
because I do think I take a verydifferent approach, and it's
funny because I feel like I'vesubtly have adapted that over
(22:40):
the years, and that's why I gotinto the fitness space.
I saw what I liked, but then Iput my own twist onto things to
make it work for me because alot of that stereotypical stuff
would never last for me.
It kind of gave me that ickyfeel, so I wanted to create a
space that was a little bitdifferent, and with that, you
will see that through myworkouts.
Um two big things is I've beencreating a lot of community.
(23:04):
I think there's a need forcommunity.
It's funny because I considermyself not necessarily
introverted, but maybe aneurodivergent thing.
It's very draining to be out insocial environments.
Um, when I'm teaching though,it's very energizing for me, but
it does still take that energyout.
Um, but I do believe there'sthat need for community events.
(23:25):
So what I've been starting to dois I'm actually partnering up
with a lot of local smallbusinesses to come together to
offer a unique fitnessexperience.
And I've been loving it.
Like cat Pilates was the firstthing that I was working on.
Um, and it's been a hit.
You know, doing Pilates withlittle kitties running around at
a cat cafe, and half of theproceeds benefit the cats.
(23:46):
It's been wonderful, and that'smade me expand to other things.
I have a lot of fun thingscoming.
Um, I'm not gonna say what thoseare exactly now, but there's
other furry friends in the mixthat I'll be able to partner up
with.
Um, different avenues ofcoziness, um even maybe some
painting in there.
So I have a lot of fun eventsall the way up to spring led up
(24:10):
there.
Um, so I plan my goal is to dotwo of those a month for right
now.
So that's been really fun.
And then my other kind ofpassion project that literally
came out of nowhere one day whenI was doing dishes.
I know it sounds crazy becauseeverybody's always like, um,
yoke.
Like when I hear those stories,I'm like, yeah, like the idea
(24:30):
literally just came to you outof nowhere, but no, it literally
just came out of nowhere.
Um, is the realm of you.
So I have been this has been mylittle baby.
It's been again my littlepassion project.
Um, and I invite you to join.
Right now it's free.
Um, I had it in a beta for alittle bit with some close
people, they just paid me$9 onetime, and then I decided to make
(24:53):
it free.
Um, and I think it willeventually become something
that's paid in the future.
Um because I do put a lot oftime and effort into it, but I'm
not quite sure where I want togo with it yet.
And I haven't worked out thekinks, so you know, I don't want
to do a disservice to you andhave you pay for something
that's um not quite where itneeds to be, but your feedback
(25:16):
would be valuable to make thisthe best that it can be.
I don't think there's anythingout there like this.
So, what the realm of you is,it's hosted on school, which is
kind of like Facebook groupswithout Facebook, no ads or
anything annoying, which islovely in this social media era.
But school is S-K-O-O-L.
I love the platform, it's verysimple.
(25:36):
The only downside I would saywith school is it's like a
separate thing that you have tolog into compared to other
social media, but it has an appon your phone, it's really easy,
user-friendly, you can usedesktop.
I love it.
So school.
Um, school with the realm ofyou, there's a little forum, and
then there's a classroom withdifferent modules.
(25:57):
And my original plan was therealm is this magical fantasy
realm of dragons, and you know,anything magical you can think
of.
The the realm is endless, thepossibilities are endless.
Um, the first thing I did was Icreated a four-week quest, a
starter quest that you're kindof called into the realm, and
(26:19):
each week you progress through.
It's very detailed.
There's a lot of written lore,so it kind of reads like a
story.
Okay, that is part of it.
I want you for my you know,nerds out there and my readers
and my book club girlies, I wantit to read like a story.
Um, you have this lore, right?
That's gonna bring you backevery day and excite you.
(26:40):
But on top of it, the fitnessand health component that comes
in is um I'm making it a littlebit of like choose your own
adventure DD style where you'regoing to be faced with choices
each day where you know thestory progresses, and then maybe
you have three options.
You know, you run into a gate.
(27:00):
What do you do?
There's option one, option two,option three, and it will depend
on what you're feeling that day.
It may be a workout, it may be ameditation, maybe it's something
with nutrition, maybe it's areflection, and I love that
because it allows you to kind ofhonor a path that works for you.
There's something out there formy workout junkies who just want
to strength train and do crazycircuits and stuff.
(27:22):
There's something out there formore of my restorative girlies
that want more meditation,reflection, stretching, um, all
that.
And then there's another optionfor maybe if you're looking for
for something that's notmovement related, but focuses on
your health, whether it'smindfulness, journaling,
reflection, nutrition.
Um, so there's different pathsand it changes depending on the
(27:43):
day.
Um, I varied a little bit andit's really cool in that aspect.
Um you can, you know, hatch adragon, collect a dragon egg in
the first four weeks is really,really cool.
Um, but then I kind of noticedthat it was a lot.
I think the way I laid it outfor the first four weeks is
good, but moving forward, Irealized it wasn't sustainable
(28:07):
to constantly pump out contentlike that as a one-man show
running a business that has youknow autoimmune issues and
struggles, um, but a supercreative mind.
So I was like, how can Isimplify this?
And it kind of sat there for awhile, but now I have this new
idea.
So the next installment isMoonvale Rights.
I have the story written out andeverything.
(28:27):
Um it's you know, you enter theMoon Vale, it's it's a magical,
mysterious forest.
There is a moon, um, and there'sa vampire and werewolf little
kind of side love quest.
Well, I wanted to simplify againfor everybody, and what I've
decided to do, I'm running itnext week.
I'm very excited.
Um, I'm gonna be running thesechallenges live.
(28:50):
So, and they'll be updatedwithin the course as well.
So, within the group chat, eachweek I'm gonna be making a post
of like, hey, this is week one.
And instead of focusing on like,oh my god, you gotta click in
every day, and here's all theseworkouts and this and that, week
one will have a general theme,right?
We're gonna have a general themefor that week.
(29:10):
So, you know, you can do thisalongside a workout program.
Or if you're somebody who isstarting slow and just needs
something simple, you can do itstandalone as well.
I don't want you to feel likeyou have this, you know, a
hundred different workouts tokeep up with.
So, you know, week one will havea general focus.
And then you're going tothroughout the week, I plan on
(29:30):
doing like a Monday, Wednesday,Friday.
I might update the story, it'lldeepen a little bit more
Wednesday, and we're gonna buildupon whatever the week one theme
is, right?
And then Friday will kind of bea wrap up and a reflection.
So it's a little bit easier, um,more intentional.
We still don't lose the story,we don't lose the magic.
Um, but we get to really zone inon one key thing each week, and
(29:53):
I uh, you know, four full weeksof whatever it is.
So I'm really excited aboutthat.
That feels a lot better for me.
For me, my brain execution, thatis something that's really
important to me.
I will tell you that I will notexecute on something if it
doesn't feel right.
If something feels wrong, I'mgonna wait until it feels right
(30:14):
for me.
And I believe that should be thecase for you too.
I am, you know, a believer ofmessy action.
Um, but even if the action isgonna be messy, it should still
feel aligned to you because ifit doesn't feel right, the
energy is gonna catch up to youand it drains you.
I don't know about you, butthat's the case for me.
It would be very draining.
So that is what is going on, andI'm really really, really
(30:34):
excited.
Um, we have 12 members currentlyin the realm.
Um, again, this is free rightnow, and I'll probably keep it
free for a while, probably earlyinto 2026.
Um, I'm not gonna set any dateson that because until again it
feels right and I get feedbackand I feel in a good groove,
will I begin to charge?
(30:55):
And there'll be a heads up forthat.
And I think the group will stayfree um because I love the
community and I think I'm stillgoing to give a lot of free
value.
If anything, if there's justlike these kind of full quests
and challenges, I think thosewill be paid for, but again,
they will be very reasonablypriced as well.
So, again, this is just kind ofthings that are have been
(31:16):
floating in my mind.
So that has been what has beengoing on.
Um, I've been in a very deepjourney of introspection and
change, and it's all been goodthings, and I feel it's funny
because I've kind of leaned moreinto my intuition.
I've been using tarot cards.
Um, I also would say, not thatit really matters, but like my
(31:38):
religion.
I uh was raised Roman Catholic,very strict, but now I do
believe in a higher power, but Idon't necessarily associate
myself with one thing.
I I don't associate myself witha religion.
Um, I respect everybody's ownreligion.
Um, if anything I would say tohelp me visualize my practice, I
kind of lean more into nature,if that makes sense.
(32:00):
I lean into the sense that theuniverse I actually made a
podcast on this as well.
I don't think my views havechanged very much since then,
but um, I kind of just lean intothat the the universe has energy
and there's this sense ofenergy.
Um I look to nature for lessonsand see how it flows because I
believe we're all connected.
Um, like my tarot cards, forinstance, um, I like to use it
(32:21):
as a reflection tool and um kindof take that energy and message
as guidance.
And for me personally, I'venoticed that when I get that
good feeling about energy and Ilean into the energy, um, which
often is going against the grainof what is traditionally
accepted by a lot of people, itjust flows better for me, and
(32:44):
things turn out better than metrying to force myself into what
everybody else is doing andforce myself into that way.
Um, same thing with business.
A lot of the things that arefrowned upon in business, I do,
and it feels good for me, and itends up working for me.
When I force myself into thesleazy traditional business
tactics, um, it doesn't work andit doesn't go well for me, and I
(33:06):
end up getting drained and it'sno fun.
So, so this is also your your uhmessage to find what works for
you.
Don't stop that pursuit of umfinding what works best for you,
your brain, your body, yourlife.
Because when you do find whatworks well, I think that energy
will flow with you and thingswill work out for the best, and
(33:28):
everybody's different, you know.
Um, I was never built to be thatlike stereotypical person.
I think I was one of the youknow the the side people.
I'm a unique, I'm a uniquecombination of things, so I
think my approach needs to beunique and it works for me.
Um, but yeah, so I'm gonna wrapup this episode, just a little
(33:49):
brain dump to kind of bringthings full circle to where I've
been at.
I've been wanting to make thisepisode for a while, so it feels
really good to kind of get thatout there.
And if you made it this far,thank you for listening to my
update.
Um, and check out the realm ifyou haven't already.
I'll drop a link in the shownotes.
Like I said, it's free.
So, you know, I'd love to haveyou there if you're into that
magical fantasy stuff, because Ifeel like there's not a space
(34:12):
like this in the fitness spaceright now, how I'm doing it.
Um, so it'd be great to have youa part of that journey.
But alright, thank you fortuning in, and I will catch you
in the next one.
Bye for now.
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