Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
What a title on this next story 25 days ago.
Frustrated with? Someone who keeps self
diagnosing their mental health. We've all met somebody, right?
We have OK. Let's read it.
I'm honestly. So tired there's.
Someone I know? Who constantly says she's
depressed or. Struggling with mental health
but it. Feels like.
(00:20):
She's self diagnosing and using it whenever.
It suits her. For example.
I asked her. For help with something small
and she immediately said I don'tunderstand her mental health and
that I need to. Quote Be supportive.
A few hours later I saw her. Posting about going out with
friends and laughing like nothing was wrong.
I don't man. Dude, I have so many things I
(00:41):
want to say. Let's keep reading this.
I'll say in a second I want to be understanding, but it's
exhausting walking on egg shellsall the time.
I don't want to dismiss real struggles.
But I also. Can't ignore the feeling that
she might be exaggerating or misusing her diagnosis to avoid
responsibility. Has anyone ever dealt with
someone like this? How do you support?
Somebody while still protecting your own mental health, OK.
(01:02):
First of all. Depression does not look the
same in every single person. Someone can be extremely
depressed and they can. Still go outside.
It does not. Have to be your Hollywood bed.
Rotting buying Chinese takeout and in.
Sweatpants, that's. Not only depression, right?
That's not how that works. But let's answer Opie's
(01:23):
questions. Has anyone dealt with someone
like? This yes, I have dealt.
With someone like this I've dealt.
With myself like this and I've dealt with other people like
this. OK.
How? Do you support someone while
still protecting your own mentalhealth?
You can not support someone. If you don't support yourself,
(01:45):
that's like. Rule number.
One, treat people the way you want to be treated as well.
I just don't think. You're.
Connected with this. Person, I don't think you trust
this person. So for you to.
Protect your own mental health. You need to.
Figure out what. Someone.
Looks like. That's a friend.
Like what are their? Traits, what are the things that
(02:06):
they. Do like what?
Are your expectations, and I know you're like, you shouldn't
expect this and that. It's the reality of the world.
Like you're not going to be friends with somebody that does
heroin, but if you're friends with somebody then suddenly get
into heroin. Your.
Expectations changed, didn't they?
See what I mean? Yep.
Yep. So.
Make it clear when someone's depressed or having any type of
(02:31):
mental health issue, they just want honesty they.
Feel. Unsafe in their own brain.
So just offer a. Complete honest environment.
Be true to her. Tell her that.
You don't understand how? She can be.
Depressed as she's doing these things, but don't ask in a way.
(02:54):
Where it's like. Challenging her.
Start. The conversation by saying you
just want to understand her more.
It's for you to understand. It's not for you to.
Judge, it's for. You to understand and she's
like, well you aren't judging mebecause.
You're trying to fix it. You're trying to.
Understand it. You're not trying to judge
anymore, OK? And try to understand like, what
(03:17):
is it she wants to go like? Go back to or whatever you
protect. Your own with the health by
setting your clear boundaries byliterally don't play the game.
Back with her if. You feel like she's not being
clear. You don't get to not be.
Clear either like right? Like 'cause what?
What did you say earlier? What did you say?
What did you say? You try to be supportive.
I want. To know what you did, though,
(03:38):
that's like another massive partI feel like we're not being
told. Like were you very snippy and
short with her? Uh, empathy plays a.
Huge role when it comes to protecting your own mental.
Health because. You're already dealing with
somebody. With a disorded reality.
So like, whatever. Like is being said to them,
they're immediately going to go negative in their head.
Right, so you got to. It's not necessarily.
(04:00):
Egg shells if you keep. Helping her.
Crack the eggs. By playing back and forth with
her. But let's see a top comment.
Sounds like this. Friend just doesn't want to be
around. You I guess.
I don't know, I mean don't get me wrong people do self diagnose
(04:20):
all the time. I also stop paying attention to
other social media presence thatis highly mentally.
Destructive. Yeah, that is true.
Why are you so obsessed about that?
That that shows that you're like.
You feel like something's not right, and if honestly, you
truly think something is really not right and you believe in
this comment, then follow. Your gut bro just cut them out.
(04:41):
They don't. You don't.
Have to be friends with every person you meet like it doesn't.
Have to stay. That way.
And no, I've been professionallydiagnosed and half the time I'm
not even sure. That you're right.
That's another thing we can go down a whole rabbit hole when it
comes. To UH Health.
In general and how they make it a system, uh, if.
She says she's. Depressed and struggling?
That's not a self diagnosis. Correct.
(05:03):
We don't need professionals to validate our feelings of
depression and experiences of struggle.
That's true. That's very true.
Unless somebody goes I'm diagnosed with this and they're
not OK. Come on bitch.
Now, whether she's telling the truth or using it as an.
Excuse to get out. Of helping you, it's a different
story. How often do you ask her for
help? She might just be burnt out from
helping you, or she might be someone who likes to have fun
(05:26):
with friends and not engage in helping each other.
Correct to be depressed. Does not mean that you
completely get out. Of all activities the actual
like that like. It's like you have to be more
than. No, that's major depression.
I don't know, bro. I'm not a psych.
I'm not a psych teacher, OK? You got to figure out what she
actually has to. Offer you in a friendship and
decide if it works for you or not.
(05:47):
Yep, that expectation thing right there.
Bingo, bingo, bingo. Bongo.
Let's see if. They commented anything,
anything at all. They talk about movies.
They talk about all that comments.
Let's see, let's see. No, there's nothing.
(06:11):
There's nothing at all. I hope OP got some closure,
yeah. Staying on the.
Topic of health. And secrets.
This one's titled My mental health is Struggling.
I don't know how to express my feelings to my husband's.
Hey, guys. It's been forever.
Since I last posted. Oh, guys.
We got a, we got to look at their account, but later let's.
(06:31):
Read the story. Been busy with life, new
diagnosis, got married, new job and now financial stuff.
I've been struggling with my mental health for a hot minute
but here lately it's been getting worse and I can't afford
to go to therapy. Sorry to hear that Opie My.
Husband is starting to get worried about me but every time
(06:51):
he asks me what's wrong I can't seem to get the words.
Out. I feel trapped.
Sometimes I snap at him just forwanting to help and it makes me
feel so bad. I'm on medication for manic
depressive. Bipolar disorder they.
Finally gave me a full diagnosis.
I just don't know what to do. Or how to?
Express my thoughts without themgetting jumbled if anyone has
(07:11):
any advice. To help me I'd appreciate.
It so much because I'm at a lossright now.
My bet that medicine is. Way too high of a dosage for
you. Or it's just the wrong medicine
in general. They need to do blood work on
you. Let's see what top comment says.
Well. First off, classification.
I'm not a doctor, OK? I'm not a doctor but I am a
nurse so. Take.
Take that with what you can top comment.
(07:32):
Allow yourself to be jumbled. Correct, you should.
You said it yourself, the thoughts.
And feelings are there, but they're.
Hard to get out. The only way I see.
Forward with that is to literally.
Get them out. So what if they're?
Jumbled. The more you speak and
communicate, the less jumbled they become as you can link
things together. I love this comment.
(07:53):
Journaling Raw thoughts. And feelings did it for me.
It forces. You to slow down and actually.
Process the thoughts. Let it be unhinged, be messy.
Burn it if you have to. But at the very least, express
it. The thing that stands in your
way is your own wants and need to not be jumbled.
Allow it. Don't.
Stand in your own way, one day at a time.
You got this. Yeah, and everybody else, have
(08:15):
you tried writing it down? Have you tried writing it down?
Write that down. Write that down.
Chat Write. That down and yeah, you are
doing your best. Honestly, just show.
Just show your husband this post.
Please. That's a really good step.
And get a journal it it can be the junk mail, the back of like
an envelope of junk mail and thelast one for today.
(08:37):
My father ruined my mental health forever with one
sentence. When I was around 7 years old,
my father during one of his drunken rants, told me these.
Exact words quote. What kind of woman is ever gonna
want you? You might as well just be.
Gay this. Was in regard to my heavily
overweight appearance. As a child.
(08:57):
In hindsight, it astounds me that anyone can say that.
To a child. From that moment forward, I
didn't realize it, but my life changed.
My brain basically flipped a. Switch.
I started telling myself I was nothing.
It would never be nothing. I began telling myself that so
much that I began to stop tryingin school and life in general
because I planned on killing myself before 21.
(09:19):
I still can't envision myself inthe future because my brain
refuses to. Accept that I'll still be alive.
I crippled myself academically, socially, and mentally.
I'm sure getting bully from elementary to high school didn't
help my self esteem much either.People talked about my crooked.
Teeth. The way I walked, the way I
talked. The way I fucking breathed, I
now overthink every aspect of myself from the day of the day,
(09:42):
from the way I fucking walk. I will never mentally recover.
The work. I have to put in to fix my
issues are unfair. Why do I have to fix issues that
other caused What? Reason is there to keep going.
You have. A man, a grown ass fucking
adult. That had a child decided to be.
(10:02):
Drunk couldn't do it. Soberly, because he's a pussy
and proceeds to tell that child that he will.
Never be worth anything to anyone in their eyes.
There's a reason he told a childyou.
Than a grown fucking person. Because he's a.
Lonely, forsaken, rotting clump of.
(10:27):
Wasted materials and wasted resources.
That knows it, so he wants to make other.
People feel like. His pain.
Those are what ass hats do. Other people growing up, other.
Kids we'll also reflect based off of what they are taught,
(10:50):
such as people that have. Parents that are.
Assholes and you see other their.
Them treat their siblings in a bad.
Way, so they decide. Oh, I'm also going to do that to
other. People, because we do that to.
The other sibling, or to my mom or to my.
You see where I'm going with us,Everyone has a.
War they are fighting, people get.
(11:12):
Shitty fucking roles. It is not anything.
Directly to you it it just. Happens that you were in the way
of somebody that wanted to die themselves.
It sucks. Everything's unfair in life,
(11:32):
you. Don't have to fix issues.
You don't even have to do anything.
It is a lot harder to kill yourself.
Than to realize somebody. Took out.
Their anger on you. The reason to keep going is your
(11:54):
own reason to keep going. Though although this is a really
shitty situation, but you do realize you.
Being mean to yourself is the same exact.
Way that your. Dad was being mean to you.
It's no different than you doingwhat you've been doing to
(12:16):
yourself. To a friends, you're just doing
exactly what they're doing. Don't be them.
It doesn't matter. You do not need a father.
That's like this. No, you don't.
Don't get me wrong. You.
(12:37):
Really do need a parent like. Psychologically to like help you
because. We live in the world where, oh,
my parents this, my parents that.
Yeah, it kind of sucks. You feel alienated when you
don't have that. Duh.
But. You're stopping yourself.
From doing any fucking thing else in the world.
Because a stupid. Drunk.
No, it's not, no. Obviously, the world.
(13:00):
Doesn't care. Because if it did.
We wouldn't have as many issues as we did in the world.
But it doesn't work like that. That's just unrealistically not
how it. Works, so stop.
Hurting yourself. Because other people hurt.
You. I thought you wanted it.
All to stop like I thought. You.
You. Want the pain to stop?
(13:21):
So have it stop. Don't give.
These people value. Don't let these people have
value over you. Your thoughts?
They don't even do anything for you.
Yeah, rejection sucks, but it's not sucky enough to where
you're. Eliminating every single.
Aspect of your life for that really that much power.
(13:47):
You're giving it you're no, no. You got you got to be better for
yourself. People will suck.
If you base your happiness in your life on.
Other people's. Actions that you cannot control,
no matter how much you think that you can manipulate them or
(14:09):
what you can say, whether it be intentional manipulation or not.
Because when you're trying to befriends with somebody that
already has a bad intent towardsyou, you're trying to manipulate
them out of it. It's still a manipulation,
whether it be positive or negative.
You're better than that. You're better than that.
It's not worth it if. You will never.
(14:32):
Be able to control people's emotions.
Ever. Because no matter.
What you say whether it be a cliche?
Thing to say or not the way somebody.
Reacts. It's their.
Own autonomy, whether it be positive or negative.
Don't base your happiness or anything off of that.
(14:53):
Maybe instead focus on how you can react to other people, not
how. Other people react to you
because that's. Ultimately, all you have control
of bestie. People.
Suck at times, but are you goingto suck with them?
Hell no. OK, bestie.
That's it for. Today and always remember.
(15:14):
People suck. That doesn't mean you have to.
Suck, I have. To hang up now though.
OK, where? Is it where?
Is it? Here it is.
And remember, I'll be. Back good.
Hang up now. OK, Bye.