October 6, 2025 • 11 mins
In this episode, I read a Reddit post from someone struggling to tell the people in their life that they have cancer and the overwhelming support that followed in the comments.
It’s about fear, vulnerability, and how the internet sometimes becomes a place of real connection.
These are strangers, sharing some of the hardest moments of their lives. And somehow, that makes the weight feel a little less heavy.
🧡 Content warning: This episode discusses cancer, terminal illness, and emotional topics.
chapters00:00 I'm dy*** from cancer and I haven't told anyone yet01:00 Top Comments02:27 I'm staring down the barrel of a potentially life changing diagnosis and I can't tell anyone05:35 Top Comments06:33 Checking OP's Account
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I'm dying from cancer and I haven't told anyone yet.
I'm dying from esophagal cancer.It has spread to my lungs and
stomach. I'm 37.
I've smoked weed and cigarettes since I was 19.
I suppose that's what did it. I've known for months now, but I
still haven't told anyone. I don't know how to.
I don't even want folks to know,I'm just happy spending time
(00:22):
with people without seeing theirhurt faces.
Call me selfish, I don't care. I just don't want my loved ones
to treat me differently. I'm just enjoying what I can.
I know the time is getting closer, each day is getting
harder. I can't eat, I can't sleep.
I just exist knowing what's coming.
I hide it even still. How can I put the burden on
(00:43):
them? I can't.
I'm being so selfish, I know, but I enjoy it how it is, just
me and my loved ones enjoying ithow it is, not how it will end.
That's a tough, tough diagnosis to have.
OP Top comment. Just put that down on paper for
(01:03):
them to see. One day I'm sure they'll be more
than understanding and possibly even relieved to know you spent
your moments appreciating them and savoring those moments as
they are. Very good advice.
Another comment, please go read my post on this just a couple
months back. It's an easy find on my post
history. Once you read that, please reach
(01:23):
out to me in a chat. I'm 38 and just went through
this exact same desire to protect my 3 kids and everyone
else from the scary shit. My cancer is not lung related
but the fluids build up in my lungs and heart suddenly on
Monday morning and I've been in the ICU having tubes ran in both
to try to keep up with the rapidbuild up Had I stayed home just
(01:44):
another day trying to ignore my shortness of breath.
I had been in congestive heart failure while home alone.
Anyways, I just told two out of the three of my kids the full
story and the youngest 13 femalewill be told tomorrow.
Damn, I'd had loved to get through chemo and tell them
after the fact, but that hiding led to me ignoring small things
(02:07):
that had major consequences. I promise it was so much scarier
for them to see me on stretchersthan with tubes in my chest,
arms, and throats than had I told them while sitting on the
couch. Just food for thought.
I was in your shoes very recently and I'd love to be an
ear. Let's go read his story, OK?
(02:30):
Love the username. The designated shitter.
What? Here is that story titled.
I'm staring down the barrel of apotentially life changing
diagnosis and I can't Tell anyone Two months ago.
Well, technically I can tell anyone I'd like, but I
shouldn't. Not yet.
Long story short, I thought I had an ingual hernia.
(02:51):
Turns out it's not a hernia at all, but rather one of four
significantly in large clusters of nodes.
Fuck, the average size of the individual nodes are 3.7 by 2.1
by 3 centimeters. They're on my ingual region and
the internal and external iliac,whatever those are.
I had a mass behind my abdomen wall measuring 25 by 10
(03:15):
centimeters bro. My spleen is also nearly doubled
in size. I've barely been able to walk
since early July due to the clusters swelling in my groin
and pushing on nerves. Wow.
I did blood work yesterday and will have node and bone marrow
biopsies next week. I don't know why but I needed to
(03:36):
tell someone until I have concrete answers.
I'm keeping this from my kids, my family, friends, everyone
except my wife and boss. It's killing me trying to keep
my shit together for them though.
To smile when I want to cry. I'm in constant pain that I try
to hide from everyone. I use a cane when I can walk and
(03:56):
continue with the hernia story, but not everyone is buying it.
I'm holding out hope that this isn't as serious as it looks.
That's denial. But the radiologist notes were
pretty clear that this is significant.
So I'm struck in this place of should I be trying to loose up
ends or continue on like everything's OK?
(04:18):
It gets worse for the day as faras pain and leg mobility goes,
and my doctors seem sure that antibiotics are not going to
help at this point. So yeah, that's that.
Thanks for listening. Thanks for sharing, OP Damn,
that's very vulnerable. And I kindly ask that you are
all patient with my replies. I'm trying to work this morning,
so I'll be on and off of here sporadically working while on
(04:42):
that too. Man, you just want normal life.
You're just trying to put it pasture, huh?
We have an edit. Editing to say thank you again
to everyone who took the time togive me kind words and solid
advice. Today was the first day I've
seen my 13 year old since the results came in, and I honestly
don't think I would have been able to keep it together had you
folks not brought my spirits up throughout the day.
(05:04):
It's made me rethink my approacha bit on keeping this to myself.
I'm going to talk to a friend and my grandmother this weekend
about everything so I've got some shoulders to lean on off of
from Reddit. I will be back with updates as I
learn more, hopefully good updates but I feel weaker by the
day and the decline is physically noticeable.
If you guys don't hear from me then you know what it is.
(05:28):
I will pass you all by when I'm looking for someone to haunt.
Damn bro sorry. That kind of hit me like a brick
bro. Just bro really Damn bro sorry.
I like do like a weird smile thing when I'm like about to
cry. It's to keep myself from crying.
Top comment. I'm so sorry you're dealing with
(05:48):
this. I understand wanting answers
before sharing. Hang in there.
I pray for you and always remember no matter what religion
you are, if someone says this toyou, they're not trying to force
the religion on you. It's just they're going to be
thinking about you and reflecting on you because that's
what people do when they pray. They reflect on things that they
would like to see change or liketo have attention to.
(06:10):
So that that's that's real. Although if you don't think
their religion is real, them using their time for reflection
on something better for you. That's that's what praying
means. It really helps for those that
find themselves in a emotional dilemma, you know, it's
(06:31):
completely reasonable. Obviously, I'm looking at O PS
account because I want to see a good update.
I want to see something else that he's active in.
And it does seem that he has been commenting still in that
original post that he commented on for us to read his story.
And with that, he does give a little bit more insight if you
would like to read that with me,bestie.
(06:52):
OK, so we do have two comments from him.
So let's go ahead and go to thisthread.
It was the original one we saw. Keep in mind his story was
posted two months ago and he hasbeen active replying to another
person's story a day ago, the one where the person was dying
from cancer. And he replied under his own
(07:13):
comment saying I have blockages on both sides of my groin so
everything below there is stuck in fluid retention around my
groin and thighs and everything above it is filling the lungs
and heart cavities. Honestly it was happening so
fast I didn't get many answers until afterwards.
But the heart fluids were so thick and bloody and refilling
too fast for the tubes to keep up or something.
(07:35):
So the safe bet was to have it divert to my lungs, which is
safer for me and easier to drainin general.
That is extremely concerning, OPWow.
In less than 36 hours, they drained around 3600 milliliters.
(07:57):
For those that use oz, there's thirty, I think 30 milliliters
in an ounce from each lung. Let me check that real quick. 30
milliliters in an ounce. So if that that helps, that's a
lot. That's a lot of it.
So let's do the math real quick.121 oz. 121 oz.
So I did the math real quick. It's like 7 and like 1/4 of this
(08:24):
of a water bottle for my audio stemmers.
A water bottle. Like 7 fucking water bottles. 7
water bottles and a gulp. How much they got out of him. 36
hours. I I don't even think I drink
that many. Oh my gosh.
OK, let's keep reading. And that wasn't even including
(08:45):
the heart. That wasn't including the heart.
That was just from each lung. From each lung.
My God, that's 1414 water bottles for just the lungs.
Lord, let's keep reading. Currently two days recovered
from the surgery, but tubes are still in place until at least
(09:06):
Sunday because Monday afternoon I'm already booked for a full
hip replacement. Edited to add 36 hour numbers
were prior to these tubes. It's gotten much better with
these tubes. I can't see what the levels are
here, but they say it's it's trying to slow down.
Damn. The only thing 'cause I get, I
(09:26):
get like medical shit is like really complicated and there's a
lot of steps blah blah blah, right?
I wish. I mean, we don't know.
We don't know. OK, but from him being not too
sure with the I don't know, I, Ithink I, I don't know like where
he's adding those little AD libsto it.
Nobody's explaining it to him. Good.
(09:48):
He seems very unsure. And that's either one it's
because the nurses like or the doctors are just in a rush
because ICU it happens. It absolutely happens.
Or two, he's like not wanting totalk about it to them.
So like whatever they tell him, he's like, OK, OK, like Yep, OK,
cool. Because we got to remember he
didn't want to tell anyone. So even talking about it can
(10:10):
cause like a lot of anxiety. But I just hope he gets that
comfort of knowledge meant of knowing what's happening by
asking the questions that need to ask.
So very important if you ever find yourself in a situation
medically, and if you don't knowsomething, please ask every
question. There are no stupid questions,
OK, At all. Whether it's the patient asking
(10:33):
the questions or the medical provider asking them questions,
you always got to stay curious. You always got to do that so
that you know exactly what's allgoing on.
But that's the only update, I think.
Wait, we have one more. We have one more.
OK, This is the last comments orany activity from OP.
(10:53):
Let's read it. Thanks for that and no problem.
I wish I knew better how to explain, but it's been quite a
whirlwind since the second I wasadmitted to the ER.
There we go, there's some insight.
Spent days in intensive care, transferred to Atlanta,
etcetera. Not to mention I was only
officially diagnosed with the lymphoma last Friday.
That sucks. That really sucks.
(11:16):
So if that was a day ago and today's Sunday.
So that was 2 days ago bro.
I'm dying from cancer and I haven't told anyone yet.
I'm dying from esophagal cancer.It has spread to my lungs and
stomach. I'm 37.
I've smoked weed and cigarettes since I was 19.
I suppose that's what did it. I've known for months now, but I
still haven't told anyone. I don't know how to.
I don't even want folks to know,I'm just happy spending time
(00:22):
with people without seeing theirhurt faces.
Call me selfish, I don't care. I just don't want my loved ones
to treat me differently. I'm just enjoying what I can.
I know the time is getting closer, each day is getting
harder. I can't eat, I can't sleep.
I just exist knowing what's coming.
I hide it even still. How can I put the burden on
(00:43):
them? I can't.
I'm being so selfish, I know, but I enjoy it how it is, just
me and my loved ones enjoying ithow it is, not how it will end.
That's a tough, tough diagnosis to have.
OP Top comment. Just put that down on paper for
(01:03):
them to see. One day I'm sure they'll be more
than understanding and possibly even relieved to know you spent
your moments appreciating them and savoring those moments as
they are. Very good advice.
Another comment, please go read my post on this just a couple
months back. It's an easy find on my post
history. Once you read that, please reach
(01:23):
out to me in a chat. I'm 38 and just went through
this exact same desire to protect my 3 kids and everyone
else from the scary shit. My cancer is not lung related
but the fluids build up in my lungs and heart suddenly on
Monday morning and I've been in the ICU having tubes ran in both
to try to keep up with the rapidbuild up Had I stayed home just
(01:44):
another day trying to ignore my shortness of breath.
I had been in congestive heart failure while home alone.
Anyways, I just told two out of the three of my kids the full
story and the youngest 13 femalewill be told tomorrow.
Damn, I'd had loved to get through chemo and tell them
after the fact, but that hiding led to me ignoring small things
(02:07):
that had major consequences. I promise it was so much scarier
for them to see me on stretchersthan with tubes in my chest,
arms, and throats than had I told them while sitting on the
couch. Just food for thought.
I was in your shoes very recently and I'd love to be an
ear. Let's go read his story, OK?
(02:30):
Love the username. The designated shitter.
What? Here is that story titled.
I'm staring down the barrel of apotentially life changing
diagnosis and I can't Tell anyone Two months ago.
Well, technically I can tell anyone I'd like, but I
shouldn't. Not yet.
Long story short, I thought I had an ingual hernia.
(02:51):
Turns out it's not a hernia at all, but rather one of four
significantly in large clusters of nodes.
Fuck, the average size of the individual nodes are 3.7 by 2.1
by 3 centimeters. They're on my ingual region and
the internal and external iliac,whatever those are.
I had a mass behind my abdomen wall measuring 25 by 10
(03:15):
centimeters bro. My spleen is also nearly doubled
in size. I've barely been able to walk
since early July due to the clusters swelling in my groin
and pushing on nerves. Wow.
I did blood work yesterday and will have node and bone marrow
biopsies next week. I don't know why but I needed to
(03:36):
tell someone until I have concrete answers.
I'm keeping this from my kids, my family, friends, everyone
except my wife and boss. It's killing me trying to keep
my shit together for them though.
To smile when I want to cry. I'm in constant pain that I try
to hide from everyone. I use a cane when I can walk and
(03:56):
continue with the hernia story, but not everyone is buying it.
I'm holding out hope that this isn't as serious as it looks.
That's denial. But the radiologist notes were
pretty clear that this is significant.
So I'm struck in this place of should I be trying to loose up
ends or continue on like everything's OK?
(04:18):
It gets worse for the day as faras pain and leg mobility goes,
and my doctors seem sure that antibiotics are not going to
help at this point. So yeah, that's that.
Thanks for listening. Thanks for sharing, OP Damn,
that's very vulnerable. And I kindly ask that you are
all patient with my replies. I'm trying to work this morning,
so I'll be on and off of here sporadically working while on
(04:42):
that too. Man, you just want normal life.
You're just trying to put it pasture, huh?
We have an edit. Editing to say thank you again
to everyone who took the time togive me kind words and solid
advice. Today was the first day I've
seen my 13 year old since the results came in, and I honestly
don't think I would have been able to keep it together had you
folks not brought my spirits up throughout the day.
(05:04):
It's made me rethink my approacha bit on keeping this to myself.
I'm going to talk to a friend and my grandmother this weekend
about everything so I've got some shoulders to lean on off of
from Reddit. I will be back with updates as I
learn more, hopefully good updates but I feel weaker by the
day and the decline is physically noticeable.
If you guys don't hear from me then you know what it is.
(05:28):
I will pass you all by when I'm looking for someone to haunt.
Damn bro sorry. That kind of hit me like a brick
bro. Just bro really Damn bro sorry.
I like do like a weird smile thing when I'm like about to
cry. It's to keep myself from crying.
Top comment. I'm so sorry you're dealing with
(05:48):
this. I understand wanting answers
before sharing. Hang in there.
I pray for you and always remember no matter what religion
you are, if someone says this toyou, they're not trying to force
the religion on you. It's just they're going to be
thinking about you and reflecting on you because that's
what people do when they pray. They reflect on things that they
would like to see change or liketo have attention to.
(06:10):
So that that's that's real. Although if you don't think
their religion is real, them using their time for reflection
on something better for you. That's that's what praying
means. It really helps for those that
find themselves in a emotional dilemma, you know, it's
(06:31):
completely reasonable. Obviously, I'm looking at O PS
account because I want to see a good update.
I want to see something else that he's active in.
And it does seem that he has been commenting still in that
original post that he commented on for us to read his story.
And with that, he does give a little bit more insight if you
would like to read that with me,bestie.
(06:52):
OK, so we do have two comments from him.
So let's go ahead and go to thisthread.
It was the original one we saw. Keep in mind his story was
posted two months ago and he hasbeen active replying to another
person's story a day ago, the one where the person was dying
from cancer. And he replied under his own
(07:13):
comment saying I have blockages on both sides of my groin so
everything below there is stuck in fluid retention around my
groin and thighs and everything above it is filling the lungs
and heart cavities. Honestly it was happening so
fast I didn't get many answers until afterwards.
But the heart fluids were so thick and bloody and refilling
too fast for the tubes to keep up or something.
(07:35):
So the safe bet was to have it divert to my lungs, which is
safer for me and easier to drainin general.
That is extremely concerning, OPWow.
In less than 36 hours, they drained around 3600 milliliters.
(07:57):
For those that use oz, there's thirty, I think 30 milliliters
in an ounce from each lung. Let me check that real quick. 30
milliliters in an ounce. So if that that helps, that's a
lot. That's a lot of it.
So let's do the math real quick.121 oz. 121 oz.
So I did the math real quick. It's like 7 and like 1/4 of this
(08:24):
of a water bottle for my audio stemmers.
A water bottle. Like 7 fucking water bottles. 7
water bottles and a gulp. How much they got out of him. 36
hours. I I don't even think I drink
that many. Oh my gosh.
OK, let's keep reading. And that wasn't even including
(08:45):
the heart. That wasn't including the heart.
That was just from each lung. From each lung.
My God, that's 1414 water bottles for just the lungs.
Lord, let's keep reading. Currently two days recovered
from the surgery, but tubes are still in place until at least
(09:06):
Sunday because Monday afternoon I'm already booked for a full
hip replacement. Edited to add 36 hour numbers
were prior to these tubes. It's gotten much better with
these tubes. I can't see what the levels are
here, but they say it's it's trying to slow down.
Damn. The only thing 'cause I get, I
(09:26):
get like medical shit is like really complicated and there's a
lot of steps blah blah blah, right?
I wish. I mean, we don't know.
We don't know. OK, but from him being not too
sure with the I don't know, I, Ithink I, I don't know like where
he's adding those little AD libsto it.
Nobody's explaining it to him. Good.
(09:48):
He seems very unsure. And that's either one it's
because the nurses like or the doctors are just in a rush
because ICU it happens. It absolutely happens.
Or two, he's like not wanting totalk about it to them.
So like whatever they tell him, he's like, OK, OK, like Yep, OK,
cool. Because we got to remember he
didn't want to tell anyone. So even talking about it can
(10:10):
cause like a lot of anxiety. But I just hope he gets that
comfort of knowledge meant of knowing what's happening by
asking the questions that need to ask.
So very important if you ever find yourself in a situation
medically, and if you don't knowsomething, please ask every
question. There are no stupid questions,
OK, At all. Whether it's the patient asking
(10:33):
the questions or the medical provider asking them questions,
you always got to stay curious. You always got to do that so
that you know exactly what's allgoing on.
But that's the only update, I think.
Wait, we have one more. We have one more.
OK, This is the last comments orany activity from OP.
(10:53):
Let's read it. Thanks for that and no problem.
I wish I knew better how to explain, but it's been quite a
whirlwind since the second I wasadmitted to the ER.
There we go, there's some insight.
Spent days in intensive care, transferred to Atlanta,
etcetera. Not to mention I was only
officially diagnosed with the lymphoma last Friday.
That sucks. That really sucks.
(11:16):
So if that was a day ago and today's Sunday.
So that was 2 days ago bro.
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