August 21, 2025 • 47 mins
#mentalhealth #internetdrama #internettales #advice #birthday
hey bestie! today we talk about how to celebrate your birthday alone, all the advice, tips and tricks we can know! birthdays! the good, the bad, and the well...interesting. Who wants to be alone on their birthday? Sad on a birthday, alone on a birthday, or forgotten on a birthday? Who doesn't want family around? Who does want friends around? We're gonna spin a wheel and break down different true reddit stories all about mental health, psychology, and they all have one thing in common. Birthdays!! I personally feel weird about my own birthday. Thats all for today, and happy birthday to everyone out there :)
talk to you soon xoxo tiredgato
see you at san japan 2025! get ur worm!
chapters:
00:00 intro
00:00:02 theme song
00:00:22 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO A GATO GANG MEMBER!
00:01:41 Wheel spin 1 BIRTHDAY ANXIETY
00:04:28 Wheel spin 2 BIRTHDAY GRATITUDE
00:18:42 Wheel Spin 3 BIRTHDAY GUILT
00:22:36 Wheel Spin 4 BIRTHDAY CONTENTMENT
00:24:54 Wheel Spin 5 BIRTHDAY LOVE
00:26:52 Wheel Spin 6 BIRTHDAY SURRENDER
00:36:20 Wheel Spin 7 BIRTHDAY SHAME
00:38:08 Wheel Spin 8 BIRTHDAY COMPASSION
00:40:16 Wheel Spin 9 BIRTHDAY INTENTION
00:42:08 Wheel Spin 10 BIRTHDAY FULLFILLMENT
00:45:40 My own birthday
00:46:38 Message for you bestie
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:22):
The other day I got a comment ona video from a fellow Gotso gang
bestie. It said that your birthday is
coming today, Thursday, and for those that are time traveling,
it's whatever day you're watching.
And the comment asked if I can make a video for you to watch.
And that comment just actually, it genuinely stuck with me
(00:43):
because birthdays are incrediblyspecial and it's an exciting
request to be a part of the celebration.
So everyone, let's go ahead and wish our bestie JTA very happy
birthday. Everybody's clapping.
They got the platies clapping. Woo Hoo.
And if it's also your birthday when you're watching this, I
(01:07):
wish you a very, very happy birthday to you.
Bottoms up, bestie. I am going to show you as a
little, I guess, birthday gift for you, the wheel.
I've been working on this wheel.It's a massive fucking wheel.
Do you remember Webkinz? It's basically, I mean, cut that
(01:28):
out. It's the wheel of mom.
Look up the Webkinz wheel if you're confused.
And we're going to spin it and whatever emotion it lands on,
I'm going to share a raw, unfiltered story about it.
All right, let's get into it. The first spin, let's see what
emotion we're starting with, andit's landing on anxiety.
(01:50):
Here's a true story somebody posted on the Internet about
having birthday anxiety. Let's read it.
It's my birthday and I feel likecrying.
Posted on social anxiety two years ago.
Today's my birthday and I feel really sad and miserable.
None of my friends I consider friends remembered and my family
(02:13):
barely cares. I try not to care about it too
much but it hurts so much the fact that I'm turning 27 and
nothing has changed. I'm still lonely and not worth
of anyone's love. A bit late to post but honestly
didn't expect so much love and support from you all.
It's overwhelming in a good way.Thank you and I hope you all
(02:34):
have a nice day. Despite feeling really gloomy, I
managed to buy myself a cake. I am so happy we have the
Internet. Yes, everything sometimes sucks.
There's bad things on the Internet, but we got to look at
the good. If we got to look at the bad.
You have to have time to look atthe good, right?
(02:56):
I really hope that the next yearafter this, because this was
posted two years ago, he remembered this.
Of course he remembered this. But, you know, it's so nice to
know that the Internet can just get together and make people
realize that, yeah, the world isbig, but God damn it, it
wouldn't be big without each oneof us.
(03:18):
Top comment. Happy birthday my little
Internet nieces and nephews. I turned 40 the other day.
No real and real life friends and I hate my sister with a
passion of 1000 sons. I cried some and went and saw
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Mutant Mayhem by myself.
It was just like most of my other birthdays, sad and lonely.
(03:41):
But you know what the differenceis between you and me?
You reached out here to ask for help.
So on honor of your birthday andeveryone else's birthday here
that didn't have a celebration, I present to you an ancient
tradition. It's the birthday cake, dude.
It's, it's all messed up becauseI have the browser all really
(04:02):
small, but uh oh, no, it was because of him I didn't.
My cake fell apart in transport.It should still taste good.
Kind of reminds me of those, like, TV shows of, like, reality
cooking where you had a rush to cook and it looks like shit.
And I think there were a few that were like, they looked
horrible. The presentation was bad.
(04:22):
But like, Gordon Ramsay was like, fuck, yeah, this shit
tasty. That's why That's what it
reminded me of. OK, let's spin the wheel again.
What's next? And it has landed on gratitude.
Now I know you're probably thinking when you hear this
word, but stick with me. Gratitude isn't some soft fluffy
(04:43):
bullshit. It's a hardcore practical
survival tool. OK.
And not just a tax write off forcharity donations.
Our brains are literally wired for dissatisfaction.
They're problem solving machines, always scanning the
horizon for what's wrong. It's a survival instinct that
just creates this chronic feeling that we don't have
enough. We keep going, keep going, keep
(05:04):
getting more. I used to be the king of this.
I actually am about to like get rid of so much bullshit I have
over consumerism. We can get in that too.
But I'd hit a goal, and instead of celebrating, my brain would
immediately move the goal posts to what's next, What's next,
What's next? On my birthday, my mind would
fixate on the one thing I hadn'tdone that year, right.
It was a recipe for being miserable.
(05:26):
OK, God, see where I'm going here?
OK, and here's the unfiltered truth.
It's not always easy. What?
But the science of this is undeniable, because if you
practice gratitude, it's linked to better sleep, a stronger
immune system which means more adventures, and lower levels of
stress hormone cortisol. OK, I realize gratitude isn't
(05:50):
about ignoring the bad parts of life.
It's about training your brain to see that the good exists
right along the bad. It's what lets you stand in the
middle of a storm and still see the single flower pushing its
way through the concrete. Same way where if you always
think about a yellow Volkswagen Beetle, you're going to see
those a lot more. If you always think about
fucking having a bad day, you'regoing to pinpoint that bitch on
(06:15):
its head. So fucking smile.
Be happy. So let's go ahead and get into
the story about gratitude postedon Mindfulness titled 2 weeks
ago I began practicing gratitudeand it unexpectedly helped me to
become more. I live with anxiety and
depression, and while I do plenty of things to help manage
(06:38):
these health issues, I've alwaysbeen a bit skeptical about
gratitude. Not the act of being grateful
itself, I consider myself a fairly grateful person, but the
practice of sitting down to write about what I'm grateful
for each day never struck A chord with me.
When I think about this, I don'treally have a valid reason,
(06:58):
probably that it feels like it might just be a form of toxic
positivity, or that some of the claims are made about it seems
too good to be true. So what convinced me to change
my mind? Well, I'm fairly into the
learning about behavioral science in my free time, and
until recently I'd pretty much overlooked Dr. Lori Santos.
(07:18):
Lori is a professor, a professora professor.
Lori is a professor at Yale, where she teaches a course on
well-being that became pretty popular during the pandemic.
Her area of expertise is positive psychology, which is
the study of human happiness. And you can access a bunch of
her lectures online for free, for free.
(07:41):
We'll look into that later. One of these lectures included
information about specific pieces of research into the
effects of gratitude on the well-being.
One, Wow. That's a big word.
It's LYUBOMIRSKY lie bomb risky Well, they found that for people
(08:03):
who practice gratitude at least once a week, their self reported
well-being scores increase significantly to another person.
Found that spending time writinga letter of gratitude to someone
and delivering it to them in person has significantly
positive impact on people's well-being.
Scores up for a month after delivering the letter.
(08:24):
That's like a technique used in the grieving process.
Interesting. So basically there's at least
some pretty strong evidence thatgratitude can have a real and
significant impact on well-being, and this was hard to
ignore. Essentially, I realized I've
been close minded and decided that gratitude might be able to
(08:45):
help me after all. With this in mind, I figured why
not put it to the test. Somebody on the Internet read
something is actually going to follow through.
I'm only doing that 'cause I'm, I'm making fun of myself.
I'm not making fun of you, bestie.
I'm making fun of myself. And if you happen to fall in the
same boat, I'm sorry. Just before I get to what I
(09:08):
learned, I set out a practice guideline every day for 14 days
by spending at least 5 minutes per day writing down what and
who I was grateful for and why this was important to me.
I tracked my health and well-being scores and the
Bearable app, along with a record of whether or not I'd
practice just gratitude that day.
(09:28):
I'll link the story in the description so that you can go
back and if you want to use these tools, it's easy to
reference. Yeah, OK.
Along with a record of whether or not I'd practice gratitude
that day. Ultimately, I only ended up
completing 12 out of the 14 days, but here's what I learned
so far. That's a pretty good.
That's like 90%. That's really good amount and
(09:51):
even being honest with saying that you because you could have
easily lied, no one would have known.
So fuck yeah good on you Opie. So they didn't list points .1.
This is so. These are points of what they've
learned .1. The real value of practicing
gratitude isn't just the act of sitting down and writing, but in
the change of mindset you have to have in your everyday life.
(10:12):
Because I knew I'd have to sit down later in the day to write
about what I was grateful for, Icontinuously thought about and
looked for things that I was grateful for in my everyday
life. Turns out there are a buttload
of things that I had been taken for granted.
Like the Volkswagen thing. Like the Volkswagen thing, But
for some reason, oops, I didn't mean to hit the the platypus for
(10:32):
my audio stammers. If you heard that everybody say
F in the chat for my little babyplatypus.
I just slapped the everliving shit out of him.
But why is that never like that when I'm looking at like estate
sales and thrift stores for thislittle fucker.
I'm always looking for these platypuses.
But I think the issue is, I knowI'm ranting.
(10:53):
Let me finish my thought. I'm I I think it's because this
was used as a dog toy a lot. There's a reason why the Beanie
babies released a dog toy version of this damn platypus
and people are like, why the fuck are you buying the dog toy
just given the beanie baby that's worth like $0.50.
OK, continue #2 you can literally be grateful for
anything. On one of the days, I wrote
(11:15):
about how I was grateful for my running shoes because they
enabled me to feel healthier andgave me a sense of freedom.
I bought these shoes for my birthday with money someone sent
to me as a gift, and I was grateful to them for this gift
and the impact it had on my health and well-being.
Another day I was grateful for Vietnamese summer rolls and the
person who first introduced me to them.
There's no right or wrong way topractice gratitude.
(11:37):
Crazy that birthdays brought up in this because I didn't know it
was brought up in this. So this actually applies very
well to the episode, not just the idea of the emotion.
Ever receive a gift that you didn't like and you thought that
they were doing it at like not caring about you?
You can view that as you had somebody to at least want to
(12:00):
participate in your birthday. I know that that can kind of
seem like victim blaming if the person that did that to you has
a track history of abusing you or like intent.
Yeah, just intentionally neglecting you, abusing you and
doing it on purpose to get a rise out of you.
If that's the case, this doesn'tapply to you.
You can just view that as even more evidence to go you you have
(12:25):
to remove yourself from those type of situations.
But for all E the rest cases of people who are just like, but
they knew I wanted this brother,be happy that you got to see
them on your birthday. You see what I mean?
It can be seen as like, oh, but now I just feel guilty.
It's a it's a cycle of emotions,but you got to go through them
(12:45):
to understand you. OK #3 Gratitude didn't stop me
from feeling stressed or sick. In fact, my stress levels
increased and I had a three day fever during the 14 days.
These things happen because I carried on working despite being
unwell and this increased my stress levels, which you can see
in my results linked at the bottom of this post.
(13:06):
Life is still going to happen and gratitude isn't going to
solve all your problems. What I just said 4.
Gratitude didn't impact my anxiety or depression, nor did
it massively impact my overall mood.
However, it did help to improve some of my well-being metrics
like my sense of calm, irritability.
Why did they abbreviate calm? How to abbreviate sensor calm?
(13:29):
Oh I bet they had their they mistyped on the keyboard.
Nevermind for my audio stemmers.Are people with their hands wet
in the dishes or driving? Keep your eyes on the damn
dishes and the damn Rd. We don't even know vehicle
issues and no fucking wet phones.
But they spelled calm and see star LM OK.
(13:52):
Like my sense of calm, irritability, overwhelm, and
concentration. Gratitude isn't going to fix my
mental health issues. Not that I thought it would, but
it might help me to manage day-to-day feelings.
In fact, when I think about the metrics that improved, they all
relate to me feeling like I can work through the problems I face
on a regular basis. High stress, job pressure,
meeting expectations, etcetera instead of feeling paralyzed by
(14:15):
them. So maybe that I gained is
something to better myself if determination or belief in
myself. Yes, because it's able to
identify what the hell you like.Because if you can figure out
what you like, you'll know what you don't like after just a
couple of weeks. I do feel like the shift in
mindset has been helpful. There's definitely a greater
sense of positivity that came from seeking out and reflecting
(14:37):
on the things I'm grateful for in my everyday life.
Spending more time thinking about what I already have
instead of what I don't have wasa big factor in this.
More than anything else, practicing gratitude has just
made me more present. Considering how skeptical I was,
I'm amazed that I've come away from this experience with a
practical thing that I can do that can help me to be more
mindful. While I'll it might not help me
(15:01):
to manage depression and anxietydirectly, I feel like it's
another great tool to have at mydisposal, one that might have an
indirect positive impact on my overall health and well-being.
Ultimately, I'd like to continueasking myself what am I grateful
for today and who made this possible?
Even if I don't write it down every day, going the extra step
and delivering a letter of gratitude to someone isn't
(15:22):
something I practice during thistwo week period, so maybe
that'll be something I experiment with this in the
future as well. I'd love to hear about anyone
else's experience or tips for practicing gratitude, as I'm
totally a newbie to it. I'm sure there's still a ton of
things for me to learn too long didn't read.
I tried practicing gratitude because science said it.
And PSA, there's a link to an image of some of the changes in
(15:44):
my health. You guys can go click on that.
If I click on that I have the screen minimize and I also did
not review this fucking link. Don't just click random
hyperlinks. Even if it shows a website that
you are familiar with. You can edit what a the the link
looks like and it can direct youto a completely different link.
OK bestie you hear me? OK see top comment.
What app did you use? They just said that shit.
(16:06):
They literally just said that. OK.
I recommended gratitude journal to everyone I work with or talk
with. At 28 days is when they say it
works the most and you write about three things.
Three things you like about yourself, three things about
your life and three things aboutyour career, hobbies, volunteer,
anything else you're involved in.
(16:28):
And they've this is common. A lot of people can't even think
of one thing they like about themselves.
Yeah, that's awesome. I had a really good piece of Oh
yes, this is my really good piece of advice 'cause I was
like, damn, I didn't want to keep yapping and interrupting
it. OK.
This applies with don't listen to music that makes you sad all
(16:52):
the time. Not just boohoo cry sad, but
that cold, lingering whatever that emotion is.
I don't even know what that emotion is.
I like genuinely, I like went through so many words in my
head. I don't know what that is, but
you know what I'm talking about.If you know, if you don't know,
(17:13):
just hang with me real tight. But you're able to listen to sad
music. I'm not telling you not to.
I'm telling you, you should remove it from your lights
because we all listen to our Like playlist on shuffle.
Personally, as me, with my life and the things that I've had to
(17:33):
endure, I noticed that I subconsciously went back to
horrible mental thoughts about myself and my life based on
songs that I had on repeat to help me through that time.
I didn't even know I was doing that.
And yeah, it was the main trend that I noticed on the first few
(17:59):
steps of my healing process. So while you're shitting,
pissing, just sitting here listening to me, go ahead and
like have me run in the background and let's let's have
you go through the your like Spotify or your Apple playlist
(18:20):
and move those songs to a different playlist.
Don't keep them on your main one.
Don't keep them on your favourites.
Don't keep them on your liked. Move them and make a new
playlist. I'll be here.
We'll keep reading these stories, but good food for
thought. OK, All right, round three.
(18:43):
What's the wheel got for us now?It's slowing down and it's a
fuck. It's guilt.
This one's from my fellow peoplepleasers out there.
What up? This story is about realizing
your only real job in this life is to be authentic, even if it
makes you feel guilty. Cause fuck them.
People are going to hate you no matter what.
(19:05):
Do what makes you happy because do what they like, they're going
to hate you. Do what you like, they're going
to hate you. Bestie, let's read it posted in
grief support. There is sadness about family
death, but we're going to read it.
We're just going to go through it real quick titled my birthday
(19:27):
is coming up and I feel guilty. I feel guilty like I shouldn't
be celebrating. It's the first significant thing
that's happened since my brotherdied.
I told my partner I don't want to celebrate this year.
It just feels wrong. I'm getting older and he's not.
This is a very real conversationthat always gets dismissed or
never brought up because guilt is a sack of shit dressed in a
(19:53):
party gown. See what top comment says.
Jesus. OK simple fix here.
If he died and you were standingnext to him on his birthday,
would you like be? Man I wish that was me.
Lucky ass. God this isn't fair.
Why is he smiling, enjoying himself?
What a selfish prick. Stop it.
Stop it. You're latching on to grief
(20:14):
because it feels like you have to prove a point.
No one but you knows how you actually felt about him.
No one can tell you what to feel.
But if he loved him and he lovedyou even a little bit, you need
to stop this nonsense. You can choose to change the way
you act and approach situations in a short term.
You can fake having a good birthday.
(20:36):
You have to at first. It doesn't take long, as long as
you realize you don't resist it.When you when you're actually
kind of enjoying yourself, you are making yourself the victim
and the subject of concern for somebody who died.
Think about that. It's a little aggressive, but it
is true. It is very true.
(20:57):
You do matter, but you cannot imply what the dead cannot say
for themselves. See what I mean?
He's happy that your life. He's also happy that he didn't
have to endure his sister dying.You're the one that had to go
through that. You deserve happiness
immediately in his mind. Stop making him feel like he's
(21:18):
hurting you. That's the only thing you can do
to make him feel bad. The best way to show him love
and appreciation that you got toknow him at all is to enjoy not
only his memory, but to enjoy being alive.
Enjoy it for the both of you. I'm sorry this frustrates me,
but I keep seeing this over and over and I just want to shake it
out of people. It's not just the way to do
this. And I I'm going to tell you
(21:41):
something personally, bestie, I know you're thinking about the
person, OK? I know at one point in your
life, whether it be multiple times or just one time, whether
it be them not able to go with you to an event or you can't
hear from them for a little bit because life happens and you
guys finally reunite before thatlike before the passing and
(22:05):
you're just living life to life.You guys know how much y'all
miss each other you guys how areyou doing?
What happened in between? Tell me everything.
The entire time they were like that fucking bitch never wanted
to hang out with me. I can't believe I no.
So you already know how they would act even with this massive
(22:26):
situation of them being dead. See what I mean?
They don't. They would never want you to
feel guilty. OK, let's give it another span.
Where are we landing? In the wheel?
Says contentment. This one reminds me of a small
shift that changed everything. Realizing the best parts of your
(22:47):
life are found in small, ordinary moments, not the big
planned out milestones. That's what makes it special.
Let's read it. And by read it, I'm just going
to talk to you about it real quick.
Our culture is obsessed with thehighlight reel.
It's really hard, even as a content creator.
OK, I know cringe saying it, butI'm guilty of this.
I've planned birthday parties down to the minutes, not really
(23:09):
the minute, but you get what I mean.
Only to spend the whole time looking at it through my phone
or trying to make sure that it was perfect.
Looking it through somebody else's eyes, trying to get the
perfect picture to prove I was having a good time.
But the real magic isn't in the pose.
Goddamn picture. It's in the breathless, laughing
conversation you had on the way up the mountain.
(23:30):
It's not that fancy anniversary dinner.
It's a quiet Tuesday night on the couch eating a home run and
pizza, watching some YouTube freaking body Cam photos of
people being dumb and drunk behind a wheel and laughing
while the cats beg for more pepperoni.
You know, one of my favorite moments from this past year was
(23:52):
a simple unplanned afternoon. It was pouring rain, cancelled
all my plans because I have a car that has rear wheel drive
RWD and I just sat at the windowwith the coffee and my cats
watching the world get washed clean.
I don't have to take my car to the car wash today.
Nothing major happened, but in that moment of foresight, like
(24:15):
silence and stillness with no agenda, I kind of felt a
contentment that no big event really gives you.
Yeah, don't be wrong. I love big events.
Like we have the I have this giant convention event coming
up. There's certain things, yes, you
plan for, but at the same time, we got to step back and realize
the bigger picture. You're there to have fun, and
(24:37):
not just for the event, but for life.
Life's here to have fun. The richness of your life isn't
measured by how many milestones you can check off, which I'm
really bad at. I just want to keep doing things
and doing things and I keep planning and Oh my fuck.
But it's measured by how many moments you were actually there
for it. And Speaking of being there,
let's see what the wheel has forus next.
(24:59):
It's slowing down and it's love.This is the foundation for
everything. The greatest gift you can ever
give someone is you. Posted in the love community
titled I have every reason to celebrate getting older.
Birthday love. I just celebrated my 49th
birthday. Who would ever thought I'd be
the happiest I've ever been at this age?
(25:21):
I'm crazy in love, truly it's sickening.
With my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years, he took me away for the
night and took me to an amazing restaurant.
I could have sat in a bus shelter with him and still had
the best birthday ever. But to be spoiled and to see the
love bounce back at me was just incredible.
I've had a long and hard journeyto get here so I just want to
encourage everyone who is feeling disheartened to never
(25:43):
give up on love. Whether it comes to you at 2046
or 70, it's always worth the wait.
I can't wait to marry him and spend the rest of our days
laughing together. And remember bestie, love isn't
just boyfriend and girlfriend, it's yourself.
It's family, it's friends, it's stuffed animals, it's trinkets,
(26:04):
it's everything. OK OK top comments Yes, I'm so
happy for you and happy birthday.
I just celebrated my 54th with my boyfriend for a year and a
half. I hadn't been lucky in love
since I got divorced in my 30s. Sorry about that.
But then I found him. Isn't it incredible you earned
every second of this? Not just the love but the peace
(26:27):
behind it? Pretty wholesome.
This one really gets to me and it makes me wonder what's a
small moment of presence from someone you love?
A time they just listened or just sat with you that meant the
world to you that you literally can't buy.
Let me know in the comments. I really think we could all
learn from each other's stories on this.
(26:51):
I'll see you down there. Let's dive back in.
Spin number six is for the planners and the control freaks.
The wheel has landed on surrender.
The lesson here is that accepting you can't control
everything is an act of an incredible strength, not
weakness. That's not giving up.
It's giving up on the idea of what you thought you had to
(27:12):
solve. Let's do a bestie posted an
entitled parents. We love a saucy one parents
decided to cancel my 14th birthday party to accommodate my
spoiled younger brother. Reinstated it when I told
everyone at school hold on, look, can I do it?
(27:34):
I can't. OK.
For my audio summers, I have a pointer finger and I've been.
It's OK. It's just know that it's here in
spirit. Maybe, maybe you can hear it.
Ready. I'm going to tap you.
Ready. Boop.
Boop. OK.
I'm 20 male, and this happened when I was 14.
Damn, he's holding that one. I don't blame him.
(27:56):
I have had a brother that's about six years younger than me,
and he was extra coddled by my parents for having been
diagnosed with high functioning autism when he was 4.
The other than that, he seems very normal.
Just unbelievably spoiled and heused that to get his way a lot.
And by a lot I mean nearly all the time.
Anything I had, he also had to have.
(28:18):
So that meant we had double S ofalmost everything that wasn't
shared items, and anything he had that I didn't, he'd rub in
my face any way he could. When I was 11 I begged my
parents for a 3DS noise choice for my 12th birthday.
I got one but then was told to lend it to my brother whenever
he wanted it or else I had takenit away.
(28:39):
Which sorry, let me say that correctly, I was getting angry
for him. OK, let's restart.
I got one but then was told to lend it to my brother whenever
he wanted it or else I'd have ittaken away.
Which it was a lot when my aunt found out after seeing my
parents forcibly take my 3DS outof my hands to give to my
(29:01):
brother on one of her visits, she let loose on them for such
blatant favoritism. They return my 3DS immediately,
then blame me for the situation after my aunt left.
But they didn't make me give it to my brother again.
Instead, my parents went out a few days later and bought him
another 3DS as a surprise gift for my brother and several of
(29:22):
mine and other people's birthdays.
My brother made a huge fuss because the party wasn't all
about him, even going so far as to outright state that he was
upset because he wasn't getting any gifts are getting to blow
out the candles on the cake. My parents learned the hard way
that they couldn't enable my brother the way they'd had liked
at those parties and were actually kicked out a few for
(29:44):
trying. And because of that, other kids
at his school stopped inviting him to birthday parties all
together. Holy shit.
For me, my birthdays were some of the only days I had that I
could have about me, because otherwise my parents forced my
life to revolve around my littlebrother.
And the year prior to when the story took place, my parents
ended up paying more attention to him the entire time of my
(30:05):
13th birthday and even asked me if I'd let my brother blow out
my candles for me because he wasupset and pouting.
Oh my, I refuse that because I wanted to blow out my own
candles. They called me a spoiled brat at
1st till my aunt intervened and chastised them on her favoritism
yet again. Where the fuck was everybody who
(30:26):
was else was at this party not saying shit?
It sounds like a family fucking tradition to pick somebody to
hate and stated how much she noticed how my brother gets
nearly anything and everything between the two of us just
because he's autistic. My parents got no support from
anyone else there other than my brother who was still crying
because he wasn't going to blow out my candles and because he
(30:47):
didn't get his way. He tried to outright spit on my
cake out of spite, but my awesome aunt thankfully blocked
him before he got the chance, then scolded him till he ran to
my mom in tears. My parents took a lot of heat
from the other adults there, thank you, and then promised it.
Never asked me to let my brotherblow out my candles again, but
they pretty much just went through the motions of the rest
of the party. My aunt pretty much took over
(31:09):
coordinating everything from that point.
The following year, a couple of weeks before my birthday, my
parents sat me down and told me they were still going to get me
some gifts and a small cake, butmy birthday party was
effectively canceled to avoid mybrother having another mental
breakdown. What the fuck.
Oh I'm so mad for OP. He needs to write a book.
He needs a tip tap away. I told them that I couldn't
(31:32):
believe they were doing this to me and they just seem to shrug
it off without a care. So at school over the next week
I told my friends, my teachers, and even my school counselor.
All of them are appalled by my parents lack of consideration or
empathy. The vice principal even found
out and consulted me. And all of this got back to my
parents through social media. My parents ending up grounding
and gaslighting me for telling me so many for me telling so
(31:54):
many people. But that didn't stop me from
still telling everyone at schoolthat I was grounded for just
being upset my birthday was cancelled for no good reason.
I guess that made it a lot worsebecause several my friends own
friend, my parents own friends along with parents to other kids
in my school called them up or sent them Facebook messages
basically saying what the hell is wrong with you and suddenly I
(32:17):
was ungrounded. I didn't get an apology either.
My dad just walked into my room with his arm crossed, told me my
grounding was over early, and then walked out.
That was it. I thought my party was still
cancelled because nobody said anything about it and my brother
thought it was hilarious and rubbed it in my face that I
wasn't going to get to celebrate.
But by the end of the two weeks my parents held a surprise party
(32:37):
for me at my favorite restaurant.
Oh wow, a public party. I wonder why.
I wonder why you had to make a fucking public you shitty
parents. And then started claiming that
that was our intent all along. I knew it wasn't.
From what I'd seen, everyone wasincredibly unhappy with them for
what they did and it showed thatany interactions family members
had with my parents. So they ended up doing the
(32:57):
surprise party to try to save what little the reputations had
left. But I'm pretty sure they had to
pay through the nose that day just to accommodate me.
I got dinner with all my friendsat my favorite restaurant and
that had a small arcade. Hell yeah hell yeah Opie and got
APS 4. Hell yeah hell yeah.
I get tell it was pretty much planned and booked last minute
(33:19):
because my dad had a look about him that my aunt comically
described as looking like a mothhad flown out of his wallet.
And of course the brother made ahuge fuss that I got the
surprise party. But with so many of my friends
and their parents there, my mom and dad finally put their feet
down on my brother to stop his tantrum when he wanted to push
my cake off the table. My brother ended up getting a
(33:40):
time out the first time since hewas a toddler and my mom had to
stay with him to make sure he didn't do anything crazy.
He tried to run at the cake in the presence and then even the
dad stood up. And then they had to remove the
brother and herself and the party.
And they took little bro to a McDonald's nearby so he could
(34:03):
have fun in their play area. And then she spent at least an
hour trying to get him to come out of the play tube and he only
did because he had to use the bathroom.
And then he ran back in. What?
At least Opie's parents never tried to cancel the party.
Wow. OK So what happened after?
OK so for the next 4 years I wasunder the roof, my birthday
parties consisted of a local pizza parlor, a cake without
(34:25):
even my name written on it, and never again.
Anything as expensive as a new gaming system.
I don't mean to sound spoiled, but I was a bit disappointed I
never got a cake with my name onit.
It's not spoiled bro. You just want what everyone else
gets. The fuck?
My aunt called them out each year about it and they claimed
that they forgot. Wow, and they Opie thinks that's
(34:47):
because the brother refused to eat pieces of cake that had
somebody else's name on it. Yo, get this brother into
politics. Oh hell no.
OK so this post just goes on andon.
OK here we go. When I moved out they finally
had to deal with how they raisedmy brother so spoiled because I
wasn't there to help them anymore.
On his 14th birthday he went mental and our parents are not
(35:09):
getting him. APS 5 he's not currently
grounded for I don't know how long.
After causing hundreds of maybe thousands dollars and damage
during his rampages, he picked up a chair and started
destroying anything that was in front of them.
And my parents just look mentally checked out when I saw
them last. My aunt also told me they
confided in her and they wish they could send my brother to
military school. Holy shit.
(35:32):
Oh that's beautiful. Oh that's that's a fucking
birthday gift right there. Top comment.
My parents learned the hard way that they couldn't enable my
brother the way they had liked at those parties and were
actually kicked out for a few for trying.
You mean they were kicked out ofparties multiple times before it
stuck? It must have been weird to be
more of a grown up than your parents.
(35:54):
OP good shit, proud of you. I hope the rest of your life is
free of all this shitty family and it saves you a lot of money
on holidays. You don't have to buy all these
fucking assholes gifts and obviously no birthday gifts for
them either. Bruh every holiday and every
time around their birthday buy you something.
(36:15):
Holy shit for surviving this. Holy moly.
Let's get into the one of the toughest emotions yet.
The wheel is spinning and it landed on shame.
Nobody gets through life withouta few scars.
We all face failure. We all feel loss.
We wouldn't know what's good if we don't know what's bad.
And for a long time I saw these things as shameful, like they
(36:37):
were proof I wasn't good enough.Posted in the rant community
titled Everyone forgot my birthday today.
I feel ashamed of how ungratefulI am.
This kind of ties to a couple ofemotions.
It's the last five minutes of the day and nobody greeted me.
I hate that I feel so down aboutthis.
I'm healthy and have a roof overmy head, but I still wanted to
feel extra special today. The office marks down all of our
(36:59):
birthdays and I pitched in $5 for everyone else's birthday and
no one even remembered mine. Whenever there are birthdays in
my family, I go the extra mile to make them feel special and
spend time with them. I felt like nobody wanted to
spend time with me today. I feel like I barely even saw a
smile today. I feel so invisible, like if I
disappeared one day, no one would notice.
I feel like I'm watching my own life, not living it.
(37:20):
It is like one of those movies that don't leave you wanting
more as much as you want it to end.
I just wanted to feel special today.
If you disappear, what what happens to your thoughts in your
head that matters? You don't need like other people
to join you to make it mean something.
(37:43):
OK, we have that issue. I know just going through
TikTok, you see a TikTok reel, you don't even fully fucking
watch it because you saw it onlyhas 6 likes.
Why the fuck do you do that? You see what I mean?
It ties to this same emotion, the same emotion.
You do not need other people's validation.
(38:05):
It is nice, not needed. All right, what emotion is next?
The wheel of slowing down on compassion.
But specifically I want to tell a story about self compassion.
Compassion if I can even speak. This is 1.
I feel like I have to learn overand over.
Think about it, if your best friend came to you after messing
(38:27):
up, like you'd say it's OK you're human.
This one mistake literally does not like change.
What I think about you Now thinkabout what you say to yourself
in that same situation. Your own inner critic, your
demons, whatever you want to call them, can be a ruthless
asshole. For years I thought that harsh
(38:48):
voice was motivating me, giving me purpose, but it was just
paralyzing me with fear and destroying myself.
Worth practicing. Self compassion isn't about
making excuses, it's about accepting your own humanity.
You are human. You are not technology.
Even technology needs to be recharged.
This year I started a new practice.
(39:12):
Whenever I catch that inner critic starting, its rants.
You know, don't get me wrong, some of the rants don't get
stopped early, but I do make sure I check in with myself.
Would I say that to somebody I cared about?
But I say that to one of these little platypuses in my room?
Hell no. OK, you have to talk to yourself
(39:36):
and it's fucking weird. It gets a little weird.
It is weird at first it feels like you don't deserve it.
And it feels like that what thatone story said about the the
toxic positivity. Yeah, it seems toxic because
your brain is tricked you that you don't deserve happiness.
(39:58):
See what I mean? But slowly it starts to rewire
your brain. Birthdays can be a prime time
for self adjustment so. Make it a time to be actively
kind to yourself. You're doing so much better than
you give yourself credit for. OK, OK, we're almost at the end.
Let's spend our 9th emotion and it's intention.
(40:21):
This is about your most valuablenon renewable resource, your
time and energy. Time is money, baby, and time
can't be duplicated and reprinted.
There's no time inflation in ourculture.
Being busy is like a batch of honor.
I work 60 hour weeks. I used to be a victim to that.
(40:43):
I used to be a victim of that and I thought it gave me value.
We cram our calendars full and run from one thing to the next.
I lived like that for like my entire life until literally this
year. Now I just focus on the things I
like to do. If my schedule is packed, at
least it's what I want for my goals.
OK, my schedule was packed, but my life fell empty.
The turning point was realizing a simple truth.
(41:05):
You can do anything, but you can't do everything.
Every time you say yes to one thing, you're automatically
saying no to something else. And it's most likely no to that
thing you're not actually doing because you want to do it.
So your brain's like, wait, if you do that, but then you'll be
happy. And I have your brain under
lockdown to not be happy. So saying yes to another hour of
(41:26):
scrolling is saying no to a hourof sleep.
A birthday is a perfect time fora life audit.
A chance to step back and ask, where is my time actually going?
What is draining my energy? What am I?
Am I doing this because I'm putting off something that
actually needs to be done? This takes brutal honesty.
It takes getting to know yourself.
It's about making conscious choices.
(41:46):
It's about designing a life thatfeels as good on the inside as
it might look on the outside. OK, your life is just the sum of
all your days. Spend them with intention.
OK, I'm not saying you got to bea goddamn superhero.
I'm saying you need to be yourself.
Hello, where did you go? Everyone misses you.
(42:08):
And that brings us to the final spin.
Let's see what the last emotion is.
The wheel is stopping on fulfilments.
This one puts everything else inperspective.
It's the story of learning that your real legacy is built with
love, not stuff. No more fucking 5 below halls on
just shit that's going to sit inyour closet.
(42:29):
I grew up thinking success was measured by what you owned.
The bigger the house, the fasterthe car.
Nothing's wrong with that. But are you doing it to make
people like you? Are you doing it because you
like oddly or just hyper fixatedon a certain design layout or a
certain car that makes you happy?
(42:50):
OK, following me. I remember saving for months to
buy this designer bag I wanted so badly.
I'm actually have I didn't because it ended up like being a
giant scandal that it was a knock off and it was a massive
scam thing. This is also like when I was
like 19. So OK, you know how dumb we can
(43:12):
be when we have the freedom of being over 18.
I thought it would be a symbol that I made it look everyone and
for about a week I felt like a thrill before I purchased it.
Like I was like, Oh my God, I'm getting so excited like I'm
almost there next paycheck, blahblah blah blah.
But then I sat with myself and Isaid what the fuck?
(43:35):
I don't even pay attention to other people's bags if I'm doing
this. Like you see what I mean?
You see what I mean? It was just a thing, an
expensive, what I thought well made thing, but ultimately would
have been filling a cup that always leaked.
It was a part of my reflection journey.
(43:55):
There's no answer to fixing the things we feel because there's a
lot of things we feel as a humanand there's no direct answer.
There really isn't. So hopefully my little stories
will help you start realizing and seeing opportunities for you
to apply them to your day-to-daylife.
(44:16):
So all I want is for you to be happy.
I really do. That's a very big passion of
mine. The more trips around the sun
you take, the more you understand that possessions are
temporary. Your character, your
relationships, and the impact you have on other people are the
only things that actually last. I mean, you can't really take
anything to your grave other than your own body.
(44:39):
Even with that, we don't even know what happens, right?
But we're not going to go down that rabbit hole right now.
Just know your legacy is how youmade people feel.
It's the answer to the question of whose life was better because
you were in it. Realizing this is very freeing.
It's about it also ties back to like, you only can treat people
(45:03):
the way you want to be treated. Like because you give respect,
you gain respect. So how deeply you love yourself
is how deeply you will be loved by other people and their life
story. Because you are not capable of
faking. Yeah you can fake it but look
how long those relationships last.
You either get called out for the bullshit by another person
(45:26):
that is a little bit more steps ahead mentally on their own self
loving journey. But you don't have to build an
empire, you just have to be a good human.
What is a legacy worth leaving? Come hurry, come 2026?
The fuck? These are the stories and
feelings I'm holding onto, from anxiety and shame to love and
fulfillment. It turns out getting older isn't
(45:46):
a process of decline at all. It's a process of accumulation,
of wisdom, of love, of compassion, of finally accepting
yourself. Whatever you whatever gay little
Pinterest quote you want to say here, it's also a process of
shedding. You shed the need for everyone's
approval, because once you startfinding approval on your own,
(46:08):
you start finding the people where their approval means it.
And you don't have to keep looking for empty approvals.
You shed the fear of what peoplethink.
You shed the heavyweight of who you thought you were supposed to
be. And in that empty space, you
finally have room to become who you really are.
And more spaces for platypus. It's not about being perfect,
(46:33):
it's just about being present. It's not about avoiding pain,
but about finding the meaning inside of it.
Thank you so much for spending your birthday with me today,
Besties, and letting me share this piece of my journey with
you. It truly does mean a lot.
(46:55):
And as always, Busty, I need to hang up.
For now. Take care.
I'll talk to you soon. Let's hang up.
Bye.
The other day I got a comment ona video from a fellow Gotso gang
bestie. It said that your birthday is
coming today, Thursday, and for those that are time traveling,
it's whatever day you're watching.
And the comment asked if I can make a video for you to watch.
And that comment just actually, it genuinely stuck with me
(00:43):
because birthdays are incrediblyspecial and it's an exciting
request to be a part of the celebration.
So everyone, let's go ahead and wish our bestie JTA very happy
birthday. Everybody's clapping.
They got the platies clapping. Woo Hoo.
And if it's also your birthday when you're watching this, I
(01:07):
wish you a very, very happy birthday to you.
Bottoms up, bestie. I am going to show you as a
little, I guess, birthday gift for you, the wheel.
I've been working on this wheel.It's a massive fucking wheel.
Do you remember Webkinz? It's basically, I mean, cut that
(01:28):
out. It's the wheel of mom.
Look up the Webkinz wheel if you're confused.
And we're going to spin it and whatever emotion it lands on,
I'm going to share a raw, unfiltered story about it.
All right, let's get into it. The first spin, let's see what
emotion we're starting with, andit's landing on anxiety.
(01:50):
Here's a true story somebody posted on the Internet about
having birthday anxiety. Let's read it.
It's my birthday and I feel likecrying.
Posted on social anxiety two years ago.
Today's my birthday and I feel really sad and miserable.
None of my friends I consider friends remembered and my family
(02:13):
barely cares. I try not to care about it too
much but it hurts so much the fact that I'm turning 27 and
nothing has changed. I'm still lonely and not worth
of anyone's love. A bit late to post but honestly
didn't expect so much love and support from you all.
It's overwhelming in a good way.Thank you and I hope you all
(02:34):
have a nice day. Despite feeling really gloomy, I
managed to buy myself a cake. I am so happy we have the
Internet. Yes, everything sometimes sucks.
There's bad things on the Internet, but we got to look at
the good. If we got to look at the bad.
You have to have time to look atthe good, right?
(02:56):
I really hope that the next yearafter this, because this was
posted two years ago, he remembered this.
Of course he remembered this. But, you know, it's so nice to
know that the Internet can just get together and make people
realize that, yeah, the world isbig, but God damn it, it
wouldn't be big without each oneof us.
(03:18):
Top comment. Happy birthday my little
Internet nieces and nephews. I turned 40 the other day.
No real and real life friends and I hate my sister with a
passion of 1000 sons. I cried some and went and saw
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Mutant Mayhem by myself.
It was just like most of my other birthdays, sad and lonely.
(03:41):
But you know what the differenceis between you and me?
You reached out here to ask for help.
So on honor of your birthday andeveryone else's birthday here
that didn't have a celebration, I present to you an ancient
tradition. It's the birthday cake, dude.
It's, it's all messed up becauseI have the browser all really
(04:02):
small, but uh oh, no, it was because of him I didn't.
My cake fell apart in transport.It should still taste good.
Kind of reminds me of those, like, TV shows of, like, reality
cooking where you had a rush to cook and it looks like shit.
And I think there were a few that were like, they looked
horrible. The presentation was bad.
(04:22):
But like, Gordon Ramsay was like, fuck, yeah, this shit
tasty. That's why That's what it
reminded me of. OK, let's spin the wheel again.
What's next? And it has landed on gratitude.
Now I know you're probably thinking when you hear this
word, but stick with me. Gratitude isn't some soft fluffy
(04:43):
bullshit. It's a hardcore practical
survival tool. OK.
And not just a tax write off forcharity donations.
Our brains are literally wired for dissatisfaction.
They're problem solving machines, always scanning the
horizon for what's wrong. It's a survival instinct that
just creates this chronic feeling that we don't have
enough. We keep going, keep going, keep
(05:04):
getting more. I used to be the king of this.
I actually am about to like get rid of so much bullshit I have
over consumerism. We can get in that too.
But I'd hit a goal, and instead of celebrating, my brain would
immediately move the goal posts to what's next, What's next,
What's next? On my birthday, my mind would
fixate on the one thing I hadn'tdone that year, right.
It was a recipe for being miserable.
(05:26):
OK, God, see where I'm going here?
OK, and here's the unfiltered truth.
It's not always easy. What?
But the science of this is undeniable, because if you
practice gratitude, it's linked to better sleep, a stronger
immune system which means more adventures, and lower levels of
stress hormone cortisol. OK, I realize gratitude isn't
(05:50):
about ignoring the bad parts of life.
It's about training your brain to see that the good exists
right along the bad. It's what lets you stand in the
middle of a storm and still see the single flower pushing its
way through the concrete. Same way where if you always
think about a yellow Volkswagen Beetle, you're going to see
those a lot more. If you always think about
fucking having a bad day, you'regoing to pinpoint that bitch on
(06:15):
its head. So fucking smile.
Be happy. So let's go ahead and get into
the story about gratitude postedon Mindfulness titled 2 weeks
ago I began practicing gratitudeand it unexpectedly helped me to
become more. I live with anxiety and
depression, and while I do plenty of things to help manage
(06:38):
these health issues, I've alwaysbeen a bit skeptical about
gratitude. Not the act of being grateful
itself, I consider myself a fairly grateful person, but the
practice of sitting down to write about what I'm grateful
for each day never struck A chord with me.
When I think about this, I don'treally have a valid reason,
(06:58):
probably that it feels like it might just be a form of toxic
positivity, or that some of the claims are made about it seems
too good to be true. So what convinced me to change
my mind? Well, I'm fairly into the
learning about behavioral science in my free time, and
until recently I'd pretty much overlooked Dr. Lori Santos.
(07:18):
Lori is a professor, a professora professor.
Lori is a professor at Yale, where she teaches a course on
well-being that became pretty popular during the pandemic.
Her area of expertise is positive psychology, which is
the study of human happiness. And you can access a bunch of
her lectures online for free, for free.
(07:41):
We'll look into that later. One of these lectures included
information about specific pieces of research into the
effects of gratitude on the well-being.
One, Wow. That's a big word.
It's LYUBOMIRSKY lie bomb risky Well, they found that for people
(08:03):
who practice gratitude at least once a week, their self reported
well-being scores increase significantly to another person.
Found that spending time writinga letter of gratitude to someone
and delivering it to them in person has significantly
positive impact on people's well-being.
Scores up for a month after delivering the letter.
(08:24):
That's like a technique used in the grieving process.
Interesting. So basically there's at least
some pretty strong evidence thatgratitude can have a real and
significant impact on well-being, and this was hard to
ignore. Essentially, I realized I've
been close minded and decided that gratitude might be able to
(08:45):
help me after all. With this in mind, I figured why
not put it to the test. Somebody on the Internet read
something is actually going to follow through.
I'm only doing that 'cause I'm, I'm making fun of myself.
I'm not making fun of you, bestie.
I'm making fun of myself. And if you happen to fall in the
same boat, I'm sorry. Just before I get to what I
(09:08):
learned, I set out a practice guideline every day for 14 days
by spending at least 5 minutes per day writing down what and
who I was grateful for and why this was important to me.
I tracked my health and well-being scores and the
Bearable app, along with a record of whether or not I'd
practice just gratitude that day.
(09:28):
I'll link the story in the description so that you can go
back and if you want to use these tools, it's easy to
reference. Yeah, OK.
Along with a record of whether or not I'd practice gratitude
that day. Ultimately, I only ended up
completing 12 out of the 14 days, but here's what I learned
so far. That's a pretty good.
That's like 90%. That's really good amount and
(09:51):
even being honest with saying that you because you could have
easily lied, no one would have known.
So fuck yeah good on you Opie. So they didn't list points .1.
This is so. These are points of what they've
learned .1. The real value of practicing
gratitude isn't just the act of sitting down and writing, but in
the change of mindset you have to have in your everyday life.
(10:12):
Because I knew I'd have to sit down later in the day to write
about what I was grateful for, Icontinuously thought about and
looked for things that I was grateful for in my everyday
life. Turns out there are a buttload
of things that I had been taken for granted.
Like the Volkswagen thing. Like the Volkswagen thing, But
for some reason, oops, I didn't mean to hit the the platypus for
(10:32):
my audio stammers. If you heard that everybody say
F in the chat for my little babyplatypus.
I just slapped the everliving shit out of him.
But why is that never like that when I'm looking at like estate
sales and thrift stores for thislittle fucker.
I'm always looking for these platypuses.
But I think the issue is, I knowI'm ranting.
(10:53):
Let me finish my thought. I'm I I think it's because this
was used as a dog toy a lot. There's a reason why the Beanie
babies released a dog toy version of this damn platypus
and people are like, why the fuck are you buying the dog toy
just given the beanie baby that's worth like $0.50.
OK, continue #2 you can literally be grateful for
anything. On one of the days, I wrote
(11:15):
about how I was grateful for my running shoes because they
enabled me to feel healthier andgave me a sense of freedom.
I bought these shoes for my birthday with money someone sent
to me as a gift, and I was grateful to them for this gift
and the impact it had on my health and well-being.
Another day I was grateful for Vietnamese summer rolls and the
person who first introduced me to them.
There's no right or wrong way topractice gratitude.
(11:37):
Crazy that birthdays brought up in this because I didn't know it
was brought up in this. So this actually applies very
well to the episode, not just the idea of the emotion.
Ever receive a gift that you didn't like and you thought that
they were doing it at like not caring about you?
You can view that as you had somebody to at least want to
(12:00):
participate in your birthday. I know that that can kind of
seem like victim blaming if the person that did that to you has
a track history of abusing you or like intent.
Yeah, just intentionally neglecting you, abusing you and
doing it on purpose to get a rise out of you.
If that's the case, this doesn'tapply to you.
You can just view that as even more evidence to go you you have
(12:25):
to remove yourself from those type of situations.
But for all E the rest cases of people who are just like, but
they knew I wanted this brother,be happy that you got to see
them on your birthday. You see what I mean?
It can be seen as like, oh, but now I just feel guilty.
It's a it's a cycle of emotions,but you got to go through them
(12:45):
to understand you. OK #3 Gratitude didn't stop me
from feeling stressed or sick. In fact, my stress levels
increased and I had a three day fever during the 14 days.
These things happen because I carried on working despite being
unwell and this increased my stress levels, which you can see
in my results linked at the bottom of this post.
(13:06):
Life is still going to happen and gratitude isn't going to
solve all your problems. What I just said 4.
Gratitude didn't impact my anxiety or depression, nor did
it massively impact my overall mood.
However, it did help to improve some of my well-being metrics
like my sense of calm, irritability.
Why did they abbreviate calm? How to abbreviate sensor calm?
(13:29):
Oh I bet they had their they mistyped on the keyboard.
Nevermind for my audio stemmers.Are people with their hands wet
in the dishes or driving? Keep your eyes on the damn
dishes and the damn Rd. We don't even know vehicle
issues and no fucking wet phones.
But they spelled calm and see star LM OK.
(13:52):
Like my sense of calm, irritability, overwhelm, and
concentration. Gratitude isn't going to fix my
mental health issues. Not that I thought it would, but
it might help me to manage day-to-day feelings.
In fact, when I think about the metrics that improved, they all
relate to me feeling like I can work through the problems I face
on a regular basis. High stress, job pressure,
meeting expectations, etcetera instead of feeling paralyzed by
(14:15):
them. So maybe that I gained is
something to better myself if determination or belief in
myself. Yes, because it's able to
identify what the hell you like.Because if you can figure out
what you like, you'll know what you don't like after just a
couple of weeks. I do feel like the shift in
mindset has been helpful. There's definitely a greater
sense of positivity that came from seeking out and reflecting
(14:37):
on the things I'm grateful for in my everyday life.
Spending more time thinking about what I already have
instead of what I don't have wasa big factor in this.
More than anything else, practicing gratitude has just
made me more present. Considering how skeptical I was,
I'm amazed that I've come away from this experience with a
practical thing that I can do that can help me to be more
mindful. While I'll it might not help me
(15:01):
to manage depression and anxietydirectly, I feel like it's
another great tool to have at mydisposal, one that might have an
indirect positive impact on my overall health and well-being.
Ultimately, I'd like to continueasking myself what am I grateful
for today and who made this possible?
Even if I don't write it down every day, going the extra step
and delivering a letter of gratitude to someone isn't
(15:22):
something I practice during thistwo week period, so maybe
that'll be something I experiment with this in the
future as well. I'd love to hear about anyone
else's experience or tips for practicing gratitude, as I'm
totally a newbie to it. I'm sure there's still a ton of
things for me to learn too long didn't read.
I tried practicing gratitude because science said it.
And PSA, there's a link to an image of some of the changes in
(15:44):
my health. You guys can go click on that.
If I click on that I have the screen minimize and I also did
not review this fucking link. Don't just click random
hyperlinks. Even if it shows a website that
you are familiar with. You can edit what a the the link
looks like and it can direct youto a completely different link.
OK bestie you hear me? OK see top comment.
What app did you use? They just said that shit.
(16:06):
They literally just said that. OK.
I recommended gratitude journal to everyone I work with or talk
with. At 28 days is when they say it
works the most and you write about three things.
Three things you like about yourself, three things about
your life and three things aboutyour career, hobbies, volunteer,
anything else you're involved in.
(16:28):
And they've this is common. A lot of people can't even think
of one thing they like about themselves.
Yeah, that's awesome. I had a really good piece of Oh
yes, this is my really good piece of advice 'cause I was
like, damn, I didn't want to keep yapping and interrupting
it. OK.
This applies with don't listen to music that makes you sad all
(16:52):
the time. Not just boohoo cry sad, but
that cold, lingering whatever that emotion is.
I don't even know what that emotion is.
I like genuinely, I like went through so many words in my
head. I don't know what that is, but
you know what I'm talking about.If you know, if you don't know,
(17:13):
just hang with me real tight. But you're able to listen to sad
music. I'm not telling you not to.
I'm telling you, you should remove it from your lights
because we all listen to our Like playlist on shuffle.
Personally, as me, with my life and the things that I've had to
(17:33):
endure, I noticed that I subconsciously went back to
horrible mental thoughts about myself and my life based on
songs that I had on repeat to help me through that time.
I didn't even know I was doing that.
And yeah, it was the main trend that I noticed on the first few
(17:59):
steps of my healing process. So while you're shitting,
pissing, just sitting here listening to me, go ahead and
like have me run in the background and let's let's have
you go through the your like Spotify or your Apple playlist
(18:20):
and move those songs to a different playlist.
Don't keep them on your main one.
Don't keep them on your favourites.
Don't keep them on your liked. Move them and make a new
playlist. I'll be here.
We'll keep reading these stories, but good food for
thought. OK, All right, round three.
(18:43):
What's the wheel got for us now?It's slowing down and it's a
fuck. It's guilt.
This one's from my fellow peoplepleasers out there.
What up? This story is about realizing
your only real job in this life is to be authentic, even if it
makes you feel guilty. Cause fuck them.
People are going to hate you no matter what.
(19:05):
Do what makes you happy because do what they like, they're going
to hate you. Do what you like, they're going
to hate you. Bestie, let's read it posted in
grief support. There is sadness about family
death, but we're going to read it.
We're just going to go through it real quick titled my birthday
(19:27):
is coming up and I feel guilty. I feel guilty like I shouldn't
be celebrating. It's the first significant thing
that's happened since my brotherdied.
I told my partner I don't want to celebrate this year.
It just feels wrong. I'm getting older and he's not.
This is a very real conversationthat always gets dismissed or
never brought up because guilt is a sack of shit dressed in a
(19:53):
party gown. See what top comment says.
Jesus. OK simple fix here.
If he died and you were standingnext to him on his birthday,
would you like be? Man I wish that was me.
Lucky ass. God this isn't fair.
Why is he smiling, enjoying himself?
What a selfish prick. Stop it.
Stop it. You're latching on to grief
(20:14):
because it feels like you have to prove a point.
No one but you knows how you actually felt about him.
No one can tell you what to feel.
But if he loved him and he lovedyou even a little bit, you need
to stop this nonsense. You can choose to change the way
you act and approach situations in a short term.
You can fake having a good birthday.
(20:36):
You have to at first. It doesn't take long, as long as
you realize you don't resist it.When you when you're actually
kind of enjoying yourself, you are making yourself the victim
and the subject of concern for somebody who died.
Think about that. It's a little aggressive, but it
is true. It is very true.
(20:57):
You do matter, but you cannot imply what the dead cannot say
for themselves. See what I mean?
He's happy that your life. He's also happy that he didn't
have to endure his sister dying.You're the one that had to go
through that. You deserve happiness
immediately in his mind. Stop making him feel like he's
(21:18):
hurting you. That's the only thing you can do
to make him feel bad. The best way to show him love
and appreciation that you got toknow him at all is to enjoy not
only his memory, but to enjoy being alive.
Enjoy it for the both of you. I'm sorry this frustrates me,
but I keep seeing this over and over and I just want to shake it
out of people. It's not just the way to do
this. And I I'm going to tell you
(21:41):
something personally, bestie, I know you're thinking about the
person, OK? I know at one point in your
life, whether it be multiple times or just one time, whether
it be them not able to go with you to an event or you can't
hear from them for a little bit because life happens and you
guys finally reunite before thatlike before the passing and
(22:05):
you're just living life to life.You guys know how much y'all
miss each other you guys how areyou doing?
What happened in between? Tell me everything.
The entire time they were like that fucking bitch never wanted
to hang out with me. I can't believe I no.
So you already know how they would act even with this massive
(22:26):
situation of them being dead. See what I mean?
They don't. They would never want you to
feel guilty. OK, let's give it another span.
Where are we landing? In the wheel?
Says contentment. This one reminds me of a small
shift that changed everything. Realizing the best parts of your
(22:47):
life are found in small, ordinary moments, not the big
planned out milestones. That's what makes it special.
Let's read it. And by read it, I'm just going
to talk to you about it real quick.
Our culture is obsessed with thehighlight reel.
It's really hard, even as a content creator.
OK, I know cringe saying it, butI'm guilty of this.
I've planned birthday parties down to the minutes, not really
(23:09):
the minute, but you get what I mean.
Only to spend the whole time looking at it through my phone
or trying to make sure that it was perfect.
Looking it through somebody else's eyes, trying to get the
perfect picture to prove I was having a good time.
But the real magic isn't in the pose.
Goddamn picture. It's in the breathless, laughing
conversation you had on the way up the mountain.
(23:30):
It's not that fancy anniversary dinner.
It's a quiet Tuesday night on the couch eating a home run and
pizza, watching some YouTube freaking body Cam photos of
people being dumb and drunk behind a wheel and laughing
while the cats beg for more pepperoni.
You know, one of my favorite moments from this past year was
(23:52):
a simple unplanned afternoon. It was pouring rain, cancelled
all my plans because I have a car that has rear wheel drive
RWD and I just sat at the windowwith the coffee and my cats
watching the world get washed clean.
I don't have to take my car to the car wash today.
Nothing major happened, but in that moment of foresight, like
(24:15):
silence and stillness with no agenda, I kind of felt a
contentment that no big event really gives you.
Yeah, don't be wrong. I love big events.
Like we have the I have this giant convention event coming
up. There's certain things, yes, you
plan for, but at the same time, we got to step back and realize
the bigger picture. You're there to have fun, and
(24:37):
not just for the event, but for life.
Life's here to have fun. The richness of your life isn't
measured by how many milestones you can check off, which I'm
really bad at. I just want to keep doing things
and doing things and I keep planning and Oh my fuck.
But it's measured by how many moments you were actually there
for it. And Speaking of being there,
let's see what the wheel has forus next.
(24:59):
It's slowing down and it's love.This is the foundation for
everything. The greatest gift you can ever
give someone is you. Posted in the love community
titled I have every reason to celebrate getting older.
Birthday love. I just celebrated my 49th
birthday. Who would ever thought I'd be
the happiest I've ever been at this age?
(25:21):
I'm crazy in love, truly it's sickening.
With my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years, he took me away for the
night and took me to an amazing restaurant.
I could have sat in a bus shelter with him and still had
the best birthday ever. But to be spoiled and to see the
love bounce back at me was just incredible.
I've had a long and hard journeyto get here so I just want to
encourage everyone who is feeling disheartened to never
(25:43):
give up on love. Whether it comes to you at 2046
or 70, it's always worth the wait.
I can't wait to marry him and spend the rest of our days
laughing together. And remember bestie, love isn't
just boyfriend and girlfriend, it's yourself.
It's family, it's friends, it's stuffed animals, it's trinkets,
(26:04):
it's everything. OK OK top comments Yes, I'm so
happy for you and happy birthday.
I just celebrated my 54th with my boyfriend for a year and a
half. I hadn't been lucky in love
since I got divorced in my 30s. Sorry about that.
But then I found him. Isn't it incredible you earned
every second of this? Not just the love but the peace
(26:27):
behind it? Pretty wholesome.
This one really gets to me and it makes me wonder what's a
small moment of presence from someone you love?
A time they just listened or just sat with you that meant the
world to you that you literally can't buy.
Let me know in the comments. I really think we could all
learn from each other's stories on this.
(26:51):
I'll see you down there. Let's dive back in.
Spin number six is for the planners and the control freaks.
The wheel has landed on surrender.
The lesson here is that accepting you can't control
everything is an act of an incredible strength, not
weakness. That's not giving up.
It's giving up on the idea of what you thought you had to
(27:12):
solve. Let's do a bestie posted an
entitled parents. We love a saucy one parents
decided to cancel my 14th birthday party to accommodate my
spoiled younger brother. Reinstated it when I told
everyone at school hold on, look, can I do it?
(27:34):
I can't. OK.
For my audio summers, I have a pointer finger and I've been.
It's OK. It's just know that it's here in
spirit. Maybe, maybe you can hear it.
Ready. I'm going to tap you.
Ready. Boop.
Boop. OK.
I'm 20 male, and this happened when I was 14.
Damn, he's holding that one. I don't blame him.
(27:56):
I have had a brother that's about six years younger than me,
and he was extra coddled by my parents for having been
diagnosed with high functioning autism when he was 4.
The other than that, he seems very normal.
Just unbelievably spoiled and heused that to get his way a lot.
And by a lot I mean nearly all the time.
Anything I had, he also had to have.
(28:18):
So that meant we had double S ofalmost everything that wasn't
shared items, and anything he had that I didn't, he'd rub in
my face any way he could. When I was 11 I begged my
parents for a 3DS noise choice for my 12th birthday.
I got one but then was told to lend it to my brother whenever
he wanted it or else I had takenit away.
(28:39):
Which sorry, let me say that correctly, I was getting angry
for him. OK, let's restart.
I got one but then was told to lend it to my brother whenever
he wanted it or else I'd have ittaken away.
Which it was a lot when my aunt found out after seeing my
parents forcibly take my 3DS outof my hands to give to my
(29:01):
brother on one of her visits, she let loose on them for such
blatant favoritism. They return my 3DS immediately,
then blame me for the situation after my aunt left.
But they didn't make me give it to my brother again.
Instead, my parents went out a few days later and bought him
another 3DS as a surprise gift for my brother and several of
(29:22):
mine and other people's birthdays.
My brother made a huge fuss because the party wasn't all
about him, even going so far as to outright state that he was
upset because he wasn't getting any gifts are getting to blow
out the candles on the cake. My parents learned the hard way
that they couldn't enable my brother the way they'd had liked
at those parties and were actually kicked out a few for
(29:44):
trying. And because of that, other kids
at his school stopped inviting him to birthday parties all
together. Holy shit.
For me, my birthdays were some of the only days I had that I
could have about me, because otherwise my parents forced my
life to revolve around my littlebrother.
And the year prior to when the story took place, my parents
ended up paying more attention to him the entire time of my
(30:05):
13th birthday and even asked me if I'd let my brother blow out
my candles for me because he wasupset and pouting.
Oh my, I refuse that because I wanted to blow out my own
candles. They called me a spoiled brat at
1st till my aunt intervened and chastised them on her favoritism
yet again. Where the fuck was everybody who
(30:26):
was else was at this party not saying shit?
It sounds like a family fucking tradition to pick somebody to
hate and stated how much she noticed how my brother gets
nearly anything and everything between the two of us just
because he's autistic. My parents got no support from
anyone else there other than my brother who was still crying
because he wasn't going to blow out my candles and because he
(30:47):
didn't get his way. He tried to outright spit on my
cake out of spite, but my awesome aunt thankfully blocked
him before he got the chance, then scolded him till he ran to
my mom in tears. My parents took a lot of heat
from the other adults there, thank you, and then promised it.
Never asked me to let my brotherblow out my candles again, but
they pretty much just went through the motions of the rest
of the party. My aunt pretty much took over
(31:09):
coordinating everything from that point.
The following year, a couple of weeks before my birthday, my
parents sat me down and told me they were still going to get me
some gifts and a small cake, butmy birthday party was
effectively canceled to avoid mybrother having another mental
breakdown. What the fuck.
Oh I'm so mad for OP. He needs to write a book.
He needs a tip tap away. I told them that I couldn't
(31:32):
believe they were doing this to me and they just seem to shrug
it off without a care. So at school over the next week
I told my friends, my teachers, and even my school counselor.
All of them are appalled by my parents lack of consideration or
empathy. The vice principal even found
out and consulted me. And all of this got back to my
parents through social media. My parents ending up grounding
and gaslighting me for telling me so many for me telling so
(31:54):
many people. But that didn't stop me from
still telling everyone at schoolthat I was grounded for just
being upset my birthday was cancelled for no good reason.
I guess that made it a lot worsebecause several my friends own
friend, my parents own friends along with parents to other kids
in my school called them up or sent them Facebook messages
basically saying what the hell is wrong with you and suddenly I
(32:17):
was ungrounded. I didn't get an apology either.
My dad just walked into my room with his arm crossed, told me my
grounding was over early, and then walked out.
That was it. I thought my party was still
cancelled because nobody said anything about it and my brother
thought it was hilarious and rubbed it in my face that I
wasn't going to get to celebrate.
But by the end of the two weeks my parents held a surprise party
(32:37):
for me at my favorite restaurant.
Oh wow, a public party. I wonder why.
I wonder why you had to make a fucking public you shitty
parents. And then started claiming that
that was our intent all along. I knew it wasn't.
From what I'd seen, everyone wasincredibly unhappy with them for
what they did and it showed thatany interactions family members
had with my parents. So they ended up doing the
(32:57):
surprise party to try to save what little the reputations had
left. But I'm pretty sure they had to
pay through the nose that day just to accommodate me.
I got dinner with all my friendsat my favorite restaurant and
that had a small arcade. Hell yeah hell yeah Opie and got
APS 4. Hell yeah hell yeah.
I get tell it was pretty much planned and booked last minute
(33:19):
because my dad had a look about him that my aunt comically
described as looking like a mothhad flown out of his wallet.
And of course the brother made ahuge fuss that I got the
surprise party. But with so many of my friends
and their parents there, my mom and dad finally put their feet
down on my brother to stop his tantrum when he wanted to push
my cake off the table. My brother ended up getting a
(33:40):
time out the first time since hewas a toddler and my mom had to
stay with him to make sure he didn't do anything crazy.
He tried to run at the cake in the presence and then even the
dad stood up. And then they had to remove the
brother and herself and the party.
And they took little bro to a McDonald's nearby so he could
(34:03):
have fun in their play area. And then she spent at least an
hour trying to get him to come out of the play tube and he only
did because he had to use the bathroom.
And then he ran back in. What?
At least Opie's parents never tried to cancel the party.
Wow. OK So what happened after?
OK so for the next 4 years I wasunder the roof, my birthday
parties consisted of a local pizza parlor, a cake without
(34:25):
even my name written on it, and never again.
Anything as expensive as a new gaming system.
I don't mean to sound spoiled, but I was a bit disappointed I
never got a cake with my name onit.
It's not spoiled bro. You just want what everyone else
gets. The fuck?
My aunt called them out each year about it and they claimed
that they forgot. Wow, and they Opie thinks that's
(34:47):
because the brother refused to eat pieces of cake that had
somebody else's name on it. Yo, get this brother into
politics. Oh hell no.
OK so this post just goes on andon.
OK here we go. When I moved out they finally
had to deal with how they raisedmy brother so spoiled because I
wasn't there to help them anymore.
On his 14th birthday he went mental and our parents are not
(35:09):
getting him. APS 5 he's not currently
grounded for I don't know how long.
After causing hundreds of maybe thousands dollars and damage
during his rampages, he picked up a chair and started
destroying anything that was in front of them.
And my parents just look mentally checked out when I saw
them last. My aunt also told me they
confided in her and they wish they could send my brother to
military school. Holy shit.
(35:32):
Oh that's beautiful. Oh that's that's a fucking
birthday gift right there. Top comment.
My parents learned the hard way that they couldn't enable my
brother the way they had liked at those parties and were
actually kicked out for a few for trying.
You mean they were kicked out ofparties multiple times before it
stuck? It must have been weird to be
more of a grown up than your parents.
(35:54):
OP good shit, proud of you. I hope the rest of your life is
free of all this shitty family and it saves you a lot of money
on holidays. You don't have to buy all these
fucking assholes gifts and obviously no birthday gifts for
them either. Bruh every holiday and every
time around their birthday buy you something.
(36:15):
Holy shit for surviving this. Holy moly.
Let's get into the one of the toughest emotions yet.
The wheel is spinning and it landed on shame.
Nobody gets through life withouta few scars.
We all face failure. We all feel loss.
We wouldn't know what's good if we don't know what's bad.
And for a long time I saw these things as shameful, like they
(36:37):
were proof I wasn't good enough.Posted in the rant community
titled Everyone forgot my birthday today.
I feel ashamed of how ungratefulI am.
This kind of ties to a couple ofemotions.
It's the last five minutes of the day and nobody greeted me.
I hate that I feel so down aboutthis.
I'm healthy and have a roof overmy head, but I still wanted to
feel extra special today. The office marks down all of our
(36:59):
birthdays and I pitched in $5 for everyone else's birthday and
no one even remembered mine. Whenever there are birthdays in
my family, I go the extra mile to make them feel special and
spend time with them. I felt like nobody wanted to
spend time with me today. I feel like I barely even saw a
smile today. I feel so invisible, like if I
disappeared one day, no one would notice.
I feel like I'm watching my own life, not living it.
(37:20):
It is like one of those movies that don't leave you wanting
more as much as you want it to end.
I just wanted to feel special today.
If you disappear, what what happens to your thoughts in your
head that matters? You don't need like other people
to join you to make it mean something.
(37:43):
OK, we have that issue. I know just going through
TikTok, you see a TikTok reel, you don't even fully fucking
watch it because you saw it onlyhas 6 likes.
Why the fuck do you do that? You see what I mean?
It ties to this same emotion, the same emotion.
You do not need other people's validation.
(38:05):
It is nice, not needed. All right, what emotion is next?
The wheel of slowing down on compassion.
But specifically I want to tell a story about self compassion.
Compassion if I can even speak. This is 1.
I feel like I have to learn overand over.
Think about it, if your best friend came to you after messing
(38:27):
up, like you'd say it's OK you're human.
This one mistake literally does not like change.
What I think about you Now thinkabout what you say to yourself
in that same situation. Your own inner critic, your
demons, whatever you want to call them, can be a ruthless
asshole. For years I thought that harsh
(38:48):
voice was motivating me, giving me purpose, but it was just
paralyzing me with fear and destroying myself.
Worth practicing. Self compassion isn't about
making excuses, it's about accepting your own humanity.
You are human. You are not technology.
Even technology needs to be recharged.
This year I started a new practice.
(39:12):
Whenever I catch that inner critic starting, its rants.
You know, don't get me wrong, some of the rants don't get
stopped early, but I do make sure I check in with myself.
Would I say that to somebody I cared about?
But I say that to one of these little platypuses in my room?
Hell no. OK, you have to talk to yourself
(39:36):
and it's fucking weird. It gets a little weird.
It is weird at first it feels like you don't deserve it.
And it feels like that what thatone story said about the the
toxic positivity. Yeah, it seems toxic because
your brain is tricked you that you don't deserve happiness.
(39:58):
See what I mean? But slowly it starts to rewire
your brain. Birthdays can be a prime time
for self adjustment so. Make it a time to be actively
kind to yourself. You're doing so much better than
you give yourself credit for. OK, OK, we're almost at the end.
Let's spend our 9th emotion and it's intention.
(40:21):
This is about your most valuablenon renewable resource, your
time and energy. Time is money, baby, and time
can't be duplicated and reprinted.
There's no time inflation in ourculture.
Being busy is like a batch of honor.
I work 60 hour weeks. I used to be a victim to that.
(40:43):
I used to be a victim of that and I thought it gave me value.
We cram our calendars full and run from one thing to the next.
I lived like that for like my entire life until literally this
year. Now I just focus on the things I
like to do. If my schedule is packed, at
least it's what I want for my goals.
OK, my schedule was packed, but my life fell empty.
The turning point was realizing a simple truth.
(41:05):
You can do anything, but you can't do everything.
Every time you say yes to one thing, you're automatically
saying no to something else. And it's most likely no to that
thing you're not actually doing because you want to do it.
So your brain's like, wait, if you do that, but then you'll be
happy. And I have your brain under
lockdown to not be happy. So saying yes to another hour of
(41:26):
scrolling is saying no to a hourof sleep.
A birthday is a perfect time fora life audit.
A chance to step back and ask, where is my time actually going?
What is draining my energy? What am I?
Am I doing this because I'm putting off something that
actually needs to be done? This takes brutal honesty.
It takes getting to know yourself.
It's about making conscious choices.
(41:46):
It's about designing a life thatfeels as good on the inside as
it might look on the outside. OK, your life is just the sum of
all your days. Spend them with intention.
OK, I'm not saying you got to bea goddamn superhero.
I'm saying you need to be yourself.
Hello, where did you go? Everyone misses you.
(42:08):
And that brings us to the final spin.
Let's see what the last emotion is.
The wheel is stopping on fulfilments.
This one puts everything else inperspective.
It's the story of learning that your real legacy is built with
love, not stuff. No more fucking 5 below halls on
just shit that's going to sit inyour closet.
(42:29):
I grew up thinking success was measured by what you owned.
The bigger the house, the fasterthe car.
Nothing's wrong with that. But are you doing it to make
people like you? Are you doing it because you
like oddly or just hyper fixatedon a certain design layout or a
certain car that makes you happy?
(42:50):
OK, following me. I remember saving for months to
buy this designer bag I wanted so badly.
I'm actually have I didn't because it ended up like being a
giant scandal that it was a knock off and it was a massive
scam thing. This is also like when I was
like 19. So OK, you know how dumb we can
(43:12):
be when we have the freedom of being over 18.
I thought it would be a symbol that I made it look everyone and
for about a week I felt like a thrill before I purchased it.
Like I was like, Oh my God, I'm getting so excited like I'm
almost there next paycheck, blahblah blah blah.
But then I sat with myself and Isaid what the fuck?
(43:35):
I don't even pay attention to other people's bags if I'm doing
this. Like you see what I mean?
You see what I mean? It was just a thing, an
expensive, what I thought well made thing, but ultimately would
have been filling a cup that always leaked.
It was a part of my reflection journey.
(43:55):
There's no answer to fixing the things we feel because there's a
lot of things we feel as a humanand there's no direct answer.
There really isn't. So hopefully my little stories
will help you start realizing and seeing opportunities for you
to apply them to your day-to-daylife.
(44:16):
So all I want is for you to be happy.
I really do. That's a very big passion of
mine. The more trips around the sun
you take, the more you understand that possessions are
temporary. Your character, your
relationships, and the impact you have on other people are the
only things that actually last. I mean, you can't really take
anything to your grave other than your own body.
(44:39):
Even with that, we don't even know what happens, right?
But we're not going to go down that rabbit hole right now.
Just know your legacy is how youmade people feel.
It's the answer to the question of whose life was better because
you were in it. Realizing this is very freeing.
It's about it also ties back to like, you only can treat people
(45:03):
the way you want to be treated. Like because you give respect,
you gain respect. So how deeply you love yourself
is how deeply you will be loved by other people and their life
story. Because you are not capable of
faking. Yeah you can fake it but look
how long those relationships last.
You either get called out for the bullshit by another person
(45:26):
that is a little bit more steps ahead mentally on their own self
loving journey. But you don't have to build an
empire, you just have to be a good human.
What is a legacy worth leaving? Come hurry, come 2026?
The fuck? These are the stories and
feelings I'm holding onto, from anxiety and shame to love and
fulfillment. It turns out getting older isn't
(45:46):
a process of decline at all. It's a process of accumulation,
of wisdom, of love, of compassion, of finally accepting
yourself. Whatever you whatever gay little
Pinterest quote you want to say here, it's also a process of
shedding. You shed the need for everyone's
approval, because once you startfinding approval on your own,
(46:08):
you start finding the people where their approval means it.
And you don't have to keep looking for empty approvals.
You shed the fear of what peoplethink.
You shed the heavyweight of who you thought you were supposed to
be. And in that empty space, you
finally have room to become who you really are.
And more spaces for platypus. It's not about being perfect,
(46:33):
it's just about being present. It's not about avoiding pain,
but about finding the meaning inside of it.
Thank you so much for spending your birthday with me today,
Besties, and letting me share this piece of my journey with
you. It truly does mean a lot.
(46:55):
And as always, Busty, I need to hang up.
For now. Take care.
I'll talk to you soon. Let's hang up.
Bye.
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