31: His "Work Trip" Was a Beach Affair (Part 1)

In this episode, a “work trip” goes from business to betrayal. When a wife discovers shocking details in her husband's email, what she finds will change everything. Was it all a lie? Listen to part 1 of this wild story.

Watch this episode on Youtube!

https://youtu.be/uP17KH4CSrM?si=qjzLF6QKjcOhe8PJ

CHAPTERS:00:00 Intro 02:33 OG Post15:25 Update 120:22 Update 232:54 Update 345:10 Update 451:02 Update 5

#cheating #reddit #infidelity

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Episode Transcript

(00:02):
My husband is currently on a vacation with his mistress and
I'm confronting them. Beach vacation with your
mistress? Cute.
I'm the ice. Cold reality check they forgot
to pack. Let's read it.
Join me as I dive into some of the wildest Reddit stories
that'll make you question whether family is really thicker

(00:25):
than water or just thicker in the head.
And nothing bonds us faster thanjudging complete strangers who
shared DNA and trauma. Let's do it, bestie.

(00:55):
Their username really does checkout.
Hell hath no fury. I like that one.
Let's see what you have. Let's see what you have.
Hell have no fury. Hello Reddit, forgive me as I am
new to the online community. Just wanted to tell my story and
maybe get some input. I37 female accidentally found

(01:18):
out last month my husband 38, male was using work trips as an
excuse. To sleep with his also.
Married Co worker who lives across the country.
Wow. When I say accidentally he sent

(01:39):
me a screenshot of Amazon purchases for all children and
included at the bottom of the photo was a delivery to this
woman. Everybody fucks up somewhere
man. So yes, the worried.
Wife. And me.
Checked his search history. And e-mail.

(01:59):
It was all right. There, like I said, someone
always fucks up somewhere. I learned his November trip was
a romantic getaway, but this current one is luxurious.
A spa resort complete with couples massage couples.
Cooking class and monogrammed bathrobes from Etsy.

(02:23):
Don't don't pull this Etsy smallbusiness into this.
Don't don't pull them into this.But I get you.
Hey, real quick. Interruption.
If you made it this far, you might as well commit, hit the
follow button, subscribe like comment.
Tattoo my channel name on your wrist.
Whatever the kids are into thesedays, it's literally free.

(02:45):
Unlike my $3 a month subscription on Spotify where I
drop a bonus episode every week.That's right, for less than a
sad gas station coffee, you get more of this chaos and you're
not even going to finish that coffee anyways.
You and I both know that you andI both know you're going to
leave it on a table, completely forget about it and it's going
to go in the trash. So choose wisely caffeine or

(03:09):
content. I know what I'd.
Pick, but hey. I'm biased, but at least I can
own up to it. He mailed her a box of Christmas
of Christmas. Oh, I'm reading too forward.
He mailed her a box of gifts a few days ago for Christmas.
How sweet he purchases sexy. Lingerie sent her money on Venmo

(03:31):
and even started planning a January trip to Las Vegas.
I don't know where this voice came from.
But this is just how I'm going to read this one.
I was furious when I learned allof this, but I kept my
composure, my plan. He left this morning for his
work trip, but before he left I gathered all evidence of his

(03:53):
affair. I spent four weeks collecting
emails, credit card statements, reservations, and confirmations.
I wrote him a 10 page letter. Girl, colleges don't even make
you do that. You think you can't read all
that shit? Put it in an envelope and taped

(04:14):
it inside the lining of a suitcase.
I plan on sending a group text to him and his mistress right
after check in telling them to enjoy their trip.
Girl, you should also write yourown Wattpad.
For those that don't know what Wattpad is, you can make your
own stories and I love the way you write and think.

(04:35):
I will also. Inform them that a letter is in
a suitcase and that I want a divorce.
I wrote a special section just for her and I want to make sure
she sees it so I will be emailing.
Her the letter as well. He is currently in the air.
My group text goes out this evening.
Stay tuned ladies and gentlemen.Update, update update.

(05:03):
Here we go. His flight landed 1 1/2 hours
ago. He told me he would text me when
he landed and he has yet to do so.
I wonder why? Oh boy, I have text him twice.
They were delivered but not read.
I checked our phone records and he texts me and her during his

(05:25):
layover. That's why it was 10 pages.
Wait, unless the 10 pages didn'tinclude the evidence.
I don't know, but the girl knowseverything.
Girl knows everything. You can't hide shit from this
girl. Now I understand her username.
Her username absolutely checks the fuck out.
He's e-mail shows no Uber receipt from his final

(05:47):
destination airport to his hotel.
She must have picked him up. Wow.
Something I probably should haveclarified in my original post.
She lives in the states he is visiting so he flew alone.
I will be sending a group text to both.
Him and his mistress. In two hours as that will be
4:00 PM third time and check in.Ladies and gentlemen, Update 2

(06:11):
sent pictures of our children and he did not respond.
For your information, he is in the middle of the desert.
My texts are going through green, which puts a monkey
wrench in my plan for a group text to him and his mistress.
He put it on airplane mode. Honey Boo.
He put it on airplane mode. Need suggestions.

(06:32):
Should I call the hotel? Connect right to the room?
I work so hard for this it has to be tonight.
Help Update 3 Update 3 Thank youto everyone standing by and
waiting. My best friend has come to my
house to help me through this. It seems my texts are going
through green undelivered but when my friend tried it is blue

(06:52):
and delivered. You blocked your girl?
He has blocked me. I guess that helps his guilt.
Wait, what did the friend text? I'm curious.
What did she send? OK, probably something like,
hey, we can't get through to you.

(07:14):
Oh, Lucy, do you want to say hi to everyone?
I have a friend wanting to say hello to everyone.
She's a little upset at me because I'm yelling and she was
trying to sleep. OK Anyways, the plan now is to
call the hotel. We will wait a few minutes after
check in to make the call very soon.

(07:36):
Please stand by. OK, so she's probably going to
play it off as like a concerned wife, you know, You know what I
mean? Totally get.
That. Update. 4 Like most of you
predicted, he does not care. He has 0 answers for my
questions. That was the most hurtful part.
But guess what, I have all the emotional support and economic

(07:57):
support so I'm not mad. Every question I asked he has no
response because his mistress was sitting there.
I suspect when he is home alone with me, his answers will be
different. I have made sure that he will
not emotionally and financially fuck me because I have secured
support from family and friends.He can go fuck himself.

(08:18):
Wait. She didn't even like.
Explain. Well, we just had a giant like
gap of information that we were like locked out on.
Oh my gosh. Kitty cat is on the mouse.
Kitty cat is on the mouse. What's going on, Little 1?
You want to lay down? Sorry, this isn't my house.

(08:39):
This is the cat's house. You know how it is.
You know how it is. OK.
Update #5. Called his hotel room, talked to
his mistress and finally lost myshit.
He he ended up calling me a few minutes later and had zero
empathy. I'm shocked but I'm not.
He said a divorce. Was an order and fought me on

(09:00):
nothing. I expected him to be sad he was
not but that's OK. I started packing up his shit.
I have some great friends who helped me put everything in the
garage. Good riddance.
I guess so, And the morning after I wake up this morning
broken. My house is in shambles as I

(09:21):
went on a rampage yesterday, ripping photos off the wall,
throwing stuff and piles on the floor, and breaking random
objects in anger. Now that I've had a night's
sleep, I feel like I'm a bit clear in my thinking as I
analyze the conversation we had yesterday.
He was different on the phone. That was not the man I know, but
who was the man I've known. Because everything was a lie.

(09:42):
Yes, even the cake with the cakewas a lie.
The only thing he cared about onthe phone was getting the kids,
which is perfectly OK. He should want to see his.
Kids. But he refused to answer any
question I had or admit to anything.
I personally feel his lack of remorse was because he was
sitting in front of his mistress.
If I confronted him at home, this would not have been his
reaction. Well.

(10:02):
Duh, he wants to eat it. He wants to like, what is it?
Eat his cake and eat the whole cake too or whatever the fuck.
And oh dude, just trying to haveeverything because if he shows
that he cares, she won't. Marry him or stay with him after
this because he knows he doesn'thave you anymore.
Damn. OK.
If I confronted him at his home,this would have been would not

(10:23):
have been his reaction. When he comes home Monday night,
I expect to see a different man.Yeah.
I just says do that. Also, in my conversation with
the Mistress, I learned she is recently separated.
What the fuck? I hope she doesn't stay with
him. Hope not at all.
I called my mom. That was hard.
While she and my dad have alwaysbeen loving and supporting, it

(10:43):
was hard to make that phone call.
I felt like a failure. I know it wasn't my doing, but
to admit that I made a poor choice and my spouse was
difficult. Was this all because of a
mistake I made 13 years ago? Honestly, it doesn't matter.
I have two days to empty the House of of his things.
What do you mean a mistake you made 13 years ago?

(11:03):
Did you cheat on him 13 years ago bruh?
That does matter. Don't say.
Honestly it doesn't matter. It does matter.
That is like a huge dynamic of y'all's relationship.
What the fuck Who do I tell? Who do I tell his dad?
Do I tell his mother? Best friend?
Work buddies? I wish there was a manual on how
to do this because I'm. Lost.

(11:24):
Even with all my preparation, I'm still humiliated.
Luckily he did not take his house keys when he left, so no
need to change the locks. I'll be removing his keys and
sending him on his way. I don't plan on seeing him when
he does get home Monday night. Doors are locked.
Everything you own is in the garage.
Have your people talk to my people and I'll see you.
Never preparing for the return. My friends and family have been

(11:49):
wonderful. I'm so fortunate to have such
great people in my life. Yesterday they came to help me
move all of his clothing to the garage.
His collectibles were all packedup and sitting here waiting to
be appraised. It took a very long time and I
was exhausted afterwards, but itwas necessary.
I honestly don't think he expects me to have gone to such

(12:10):
great lengths to remove him frommy life because I was so
emotional when I confronted him.There is a chance that he thinks
I will want to reconcile. Fat chance buddy.
His flight lands a little before10:00 PM tonight.
Late ass fucking flight. He had to get fucking a quickie
in before that. When he ubers back home the
doors will be locked. He told me on the phone he was

(12:31):
just getting his car and leaving.
I'll be holding him to that. Something I should have
mentioned earlier. The house is in my name only.
Damn girl, I'm proud of you on that one.
Something I should have mentioned earlier, obviously he
had no credit when he first started looking.
So everything is in my name and her maiden name and purchased by

(12:54):
me. Health insurance, car insurance,
cell phones, utilities are all in the the name dude.
Dude's not even. Probably never going to get
approved for an apartment. He has no credit.
Holy shit. The only thing hit in his name
is his car. I think he realizes now that
could all come back to bite him.I don't want a messy divorce.
I'm willing to listen to his demands and try to meet in the

(13:15):
middle and as many things as possible.
He obviously doesn't care anymore, so I'm going to do my
best to not care and treat this like a business deal.
Ladies and gentlemen, the updatetitled The Dust has settled.
It's been a few days since his return for a man who's.
So how do you say that word diligently?

(13:38):
Diligently. Who knows English language, am I
right? Planned a secret retreat with
his mistress. He took no time to plan for his
return home. He's been living in the basement
since Monday. I allowed him to watch the
children open gifts on Christmas, but he has since
returned to the basement. What?

(14:00):
Why did you go back on what you said?
What do you? Mean he's in the basements.
Girly pop the fuck? We have contacted 3 mediators
and have appointments next week to start the mediation process.
It's obviously over. We had a conversation slash
argument upon his return and he actually asked about
reconciliation. I laughed.

(14:22):
I laughed uncontrollably. Of course he pushed blame
stating that our marriage has been over for a long time.
Is this where that 13 year like thing?
Was brought up. Is this what that is?
OK, well, that's. News to me, his actions of an
affair were selfish and avoidance.
He didn't want to have that hardconversation with me about
counseling or divorcing and thisroute was easier and a lot more

(14:45):
fun. Let's face it, he likes the
attention of two woman loving and penning all over him.
Well I'm no longer playing that game.
Congrats, she wins and oh what aprize he is.
I have been amicable about talking about the terms of our
separation. My biggest hang up is her.
He may continue seeing her and Ihave questions about her

(15:06):
character. What kind of woman her mother
cheats with a man she knows is married and knows has children.
Somebody that was probably also lied to or they're just a
perfect match. Opie, they're probably a perfect
match because it sounds like it.When I confronted her on the
phone last Saturday and asked her the question, she was

(15:27):
silenced. I asked if she was sorry and it
was as if the line went dead. That kind of person I do not
want around my children. People who show no remorse,
especially when they are in the wrong are not kind people.
I have found solace and friends and family.

(15:48):
And thank you to everyone's recommendation of Chump Lady.
I'm halfway through the book, read through the website and
find it so helpful. Thank you again to everyone.
I can't believe the outpouring of support.
To the trolls, Sorry you think I'm an unfit and inattentive
wife, but cheaters cheat becausethey want to.
Yeah, that's true. I completely agree with OP.
If they'll do it, they'll figureout a way.
Thank you again to all. I'm not sure if you want a

(16:10):
mediation update or if my story is over.
Either way, I'm happy to have met you all another.
Update Where is the fault? If you listen to the books and
advice always given about cheaters, it all says the same
thing. It's not you.
They made a choice. My STBX insists things were bad.
I have no idea what that means, STBX.

(16:31):
Well, ladies and gentlemen, we got to look that up.
What is STBX? It's going to be something
fucking dumb, I bet. I'm looking.
I'm looking. I'm looking.
Oh, soon to be. X the.
First one was it's a step box. Sling for the gaming community

(16:52):
for a specific type of gaming setup OK, soon to be X, not PC
setup. Soon to be X insists things were
bad. Well, I don't think we were Pam
and Jem or Lucy and Ricky. I think things were good.
This process has made me review who I am, who I've been and who
I want to be. Could I have made changes?

(17:14):
Yeah. Was I perfect?
Absolutely not. But my decisions and actions
were never detrimental to our marriage.
They were more like sacrifices. And now I'm having those
sacrifices thrown at me and I'm being called neglectful.
Is this all about attention? A narcissistic need to be an
apple of somebody's eye. Him and the AP are now

(17:34):
blissfully in the honeymoon stage.
Vacations, late night phone calls like teenagers, present
buying, etcetera. But what happens when the other
shoe drops? What happens when she sees that
he was very little patients withchildren?
That he will walk past the sink full of dishes completely blind
to them? When he doesn't pay the phone

(17:55):
bill in two months because he's spending money on silly gadgets,
what then? Well, it's not my problem.
I'm sure his AP will take issue with these things.
Perhaps then she will be put in the situation I've been in for a
decade. Should she be the glue and hold
it all together? Or should she neglect
responsibilities for his neediness?

(18:16):
I've been told by him someone who is having a relationship and
spending large sums of money on someone else that I'm at fault.
Perhaps, but what about the decades of cleaning up your
messes? Maybe if I would have had a 2
hour conversation with him everynight things would be different.
But to be honest, I'm happy I'm here now.
Reflecting back, I see how underappreciated I was, how

(18:37):
neglected I was all these years.I thought I was helping out but
really being taken advantage of and this affair is no different.
Just a word of advice to all themess cleaners, excuse maker
makers and spouse sheltering people reading this.
Stop, stop now. I've learned that all the
helping is simply them learning how to manipulate you.

(18:59):
Draw that line in the sand. Prepare for an.
Uncomfortable situation when they start to stumble under the
pressure of real life. But don't lose yourself.
I lost myself years ago and it'snot a place you want to be.
God damn this girl keeps doing updates.
Another update, mediation and the move.
We had our first mediation appointment via Zoom yesterday.

(19:19):
It was very amicable, only because I don't want to fight
and I just want this to be over.He apparently wants nothing.
Not the house, not the furniture, not what he's
entitled to of my pension. He just wants to be done.
As well as I've been packing up things in the house to
declutter. I've been offering him things
but he wants nothing. I suspect the moment our
marriage is dissolved he'll be packing up his collectibles and

(19:42):
clothing and driving across the country to live with her.
Damn OP, Oh you're oh man get therapy 'cause you're trying to.
Like you wanted to go smooth butthen you're upset it's not.
It's going smooth. Girly pop.
Girly Pop. I guess I should be OK with this
as I don't want to be married tohim anymore.

(20:02):
It just kills me that he won't be moving in with her and
helping her raise her two children.
Well mine are fatherless. It makes me so angry.
Valid crash out seething. The man who was abandoned by his
father is not doing the same thing.
Well, the apple does not fall far from the tree.
OP, the apple does not fall far.You only know what you're

(20:25):
around. Guilt by association, that's why
that's used as well. Something he said he would never
ever happen because of the mental issues it has given him
today. Well it looks like that as well
as mostly everything else was a lie.
Again, I take solace. And the fact that their
honeymoon phase will be short lived.

(20:45):
Reality will smack them both in the face and she will realize
that he can be more hurt than help.
Really wish him well and hope the best.
Our kids deserve more than a Christmas, Easter, once a week
in the summer, Father no dad at basketball games, cub spouts,
birthday parties and school plays.
Meanwhile, AP will have him and her children's biological

(21:06):
father. I guess nothing in life is fair
and my boys will have to learn that lesson earlier than I had
hoped. Get your boys therapy because
the. Cycle doesn't stop unless you
make sure it does. New updates, He's gone.
My soon to be ex left yesterday morning to visit her.

(21:27):
I told him to go. I didn't want to spend New
Year's Eve with him and our COVID circle friends who we
celebrate with have 0 interest in seeing him either.
He booked the flight 30 minutes after I told him to go.
My only stipulation was that he is back for the weekend as it's
my birthday and I really need a day to myself.

(21:48):
I've watched the kids for three weekends now while he went to
see his mistress. I thought I at least deserved my
birthday to relax. He texted me while he was
boarding that he won't be home for my birthday.
Well then he claims when he booked then he booked a return
for the evening of my birthday. Brother, This is why you don't
give him an inch. This is why you don't give him

(22:10):
an inch. He's trying.
He's literally actively manipulating you.
He's he knows that. He knows how you.
React to things and you like notlike getting anything from him
like emotionally, like even withhow it went down, he just was
like they had nothing to say about it.
He know that pisses you off and now he's doing this because he

(22:31):
knows it's pissing you off. Fucking nasty ass mind games.
Anyways, when he tried to changeit, he was put on standby.
It would cost $1000 to change, it was a red eye, etcetera.
The excuses kept coming. He apparently does not realize I
have access to the Internet as well and flights are less than
$300.00 with the airline he flew.

(22:53):
I told him this and he said those flights weren't there when
he booked flies and he will justtake care of it.
I just want him to be honest. If you don't want to be here for
my birthday, just say it's. If you don't want to spend the
day with your children just tellme.
Brother. He can't even tell you he
doesn't love you anymore. It's OK, he's not going to do.
That I can't force you to be your parents.
I told him the flights were available and affordable.

(23:15):
It's his choice. Story book Ball is in your
court. That's all I can do, right?
Stay tuned for an update on his return this weekend.
Update. New Year's New Year's Eve
Nightmare. It was 1240 AM on New Year's
Eve, and there was still no callfrom him.
Brother, he's with her. Come on.

(23:37):
New Year's kiss. Like, OK, at this point you're
doing this to yourself. The way you react to it now,
you're making this harder for you.
Why do you have friends? Have them watch your fucking
kids. Damn.
I was angry for no other reason than I explained to the kids

(23:57):
that even though Daddy wasn't with us, he would call it
midnight to talk to them and wish them a happy new year.
I was mean to be a liar, no. You dragged the.
Kids into this. Now I'm getting pissed at uop.
You're dragging the kids into this.
No no no no no no. You know damn well his fake
promises is a fucking trend. Or you're just so much still in

(24:20):
denial of this or of him not being a liar that it's still, I
mean obviously it still shocks you that he's capable of being
an asshole. Like girl, what the fuck.
Like he has shown himself more than once to you.
So I text my soon to be X and his excuse was they are with
their friends. I don't want them to.
I don't want to bother them. Excuse me?

(24:40):
Bother them? You mean you didn't want your
kids to bother you, is what you were really saying.
If I was across the country on New Year's, New Year's Eve,
without my kids, I would have called and done the countdown
with them via FaceTime. Shocker OP, you want to know
something absolutely insane? You're not the one cheating.
That means you value your fucking kids.

(25:02):
He doesn't. That's the way you would have
reacted. Not him, so don't.
Expect him to react the way you would girly pop.
Come on. Damn.
OK, this girl's actually gettingme heated.
She's making this worse. She's dragging it out and this
is exactly how you have your kids cheat like follow the same

(25:25):
things that their father did because there's there's no
healthy communication. There's no healthy anything.
It's. It's just eww, OK, I think most
parents would, but not him. He said if you would have told
me that you told the kids I'd call, then I would have.
He tried to spend this on me, that I created this mess.

(25:48):
Why do I have to tell you that you need to call your children
at midnight? The small axe said a lot to me.
Our children are not a priority.Duh.
No, they're not. He already like left for New
Year's Eve without the kids. I guess he.
Didn't want to ruin his perfect vacation at his new girlfriend's
house with her children. He has a nice new family now.

(26:09):
Today is my birthday and he returns this evening.
I told him in my New Year's Eve text that I will speak to him on
the 12th, our next mediation meeting because I'm done.
I tried to be civil for the kidsbut he is not putting forth the
effort for them. Update titled Liar liar pants on
fire. The past few days have been
strange. We rarely talk a decision on

(26:31):
both our parts and when we do, it's about mediation plans
moving forward or the kids. You literally just wanted that
OP. Oh my God.
OP. How is that strange?
It's literally that that's, that's a, that's a fucking
Daydream. That's exactly.
What you asked for, OK, we have been civil and communicating

(26:58):
well about those items. We are also friendly in front of
the children as not to upset them.
The situation is strange becausewe are getting along.
There's no arguing. It's a shared focus to just get
through mediation and divorce. That's fine by me.
Doesn't sound like it's fucking fine by you.
How about OP, you be honest withyourself and maybe you can find
somebody that would actually love you because.

(27:19):
You're not sending any. Boundaries for yourself.
So you don't give a fuck about yourself.
You don't set your own fucking boundaries.
Nobody else is going to give a fuck about you because you can't
even say what you want. Lord have mercy.
Lord have mercy. Last night while I was cleaning
the kitchen, I heard him on the phone in the basements.

(27:40):
I guess he didn't realize the door was left open by one of the
children not wanting to be a part of the drama anymore and
went to close the door. At that point I heard him tell
her how crazy I have been acting.
Excuse me? We don't speak and when we do
it's very soul. How is that crazy?
You. Girl, he's he's a narcissist.

(28:04):
Just search on Reddit. Read read the fucking narcissist
sob Reddit. OK, well, he proceeded to tell
her about a. Conversation we had and he lied
about everything. While the conversation part was
true, he told her I exploded, I was in a rage, I was crying,
etcetera. None of that was true.
He explained how he laughed in my face at my rage.

(28:24):
Also not true because there was no rage.
I had told him a while back before the New York New Year's
Eve debacle that I would start dating eventually and he
proceeded to tell her that I wasbragging about guys I'm meeting.
So far from the truth. I slammed the basement door.
I'm sure he knows I heard so I asked why the need to lie and
make me a villain? We aren't staying together.

(28:45):
I have no reason to fight with you anymore.
That's why we are playing a paying a mediator.
Why start lying to your new girlfriend that you love?
How is that a good way to start a relationship?
I don't know what is happening here.
He's, he's a manipulator. He's trying to paint the sky
picture perfect. You know that's that's how it

(29:08):
is. I mean, I wonder how we got you.
This is my concern. This woman and him are in love
and want to start a life together.
OK, that's fine. God bless and Congrats.
But this woman only knows me about my stories, which I'm
assuming are all lies and that he has told about me.
That makes sense why she was completely silent on the phone.
If he does move across the country to be with her.

(29:28):
How can I trust a woman who hates me because of
misinformation to treat my children properly?
I don't care if she hates me personally, I'll still sleep
fine at night, but now I'm worried about sending my kids in
the summer to stay with them. I want to confront him about
this but I know I can't. Maybe it's not that I can't but
I don't know how. Also, he is told no one we are
separated and definitely has nottold people why.

(29:49):
How come you initiated this? You cheated.
You are happy now, so why can't you tell people?
OK, Opie, Opie. Just reread your post.
Reread them. The answers are there.
You're not going to ever get a concrete answer from him.
He will never tell you. A fucking magician never reveals

(30:12):
his secrets. Like he'll he'll never tell you
how he feels You. That's like come on girl, come
on you. You have to accept the reality
of it. You are still playing his game,
writing these questions because he knows it's making you fucking
insane. You initiated this, you cheated,

(30:37):
you are happy now, so why can't you tell people?
He told his father that he was bringing the kids alone to visit
him because he and I weren't seeing eye to eye at a moment.
What I would assume he's afraid to face the music or is just
finding comfort in the little love bubble he has created.
Yep, it's a false reality, he. Chooses to not face reality.
Literally. I didn't even read the next
sentence. That is hilarious.
OK. He has yet to look for an

(30:58):
apartment for when the divorce is finalized but has booked
another flight out to see her for Valentine's Day.
He's refusing to face reality and it is so frustrating.
How many fucking updates are there?
Dude, this is long. So we have mediation and empty
promises. OK, we're almost done.
We're almost done. We're almost done.

(31:18):
We're almost done. As I There we go.
Mediation and empty promises. Yesterday was our second
mediation appointment. While it was amicable, there was
some obvious tension. The tension was not on my end,
but more on his. Let me explain.
During your first mediation, we brought up the topic that he
might move out of states. OK, at yesterday's meeting?

(31:40):
I asked. What he would do about custody?
If he moves to the states, when I mentioned the state by name,
the mediator was confused. The prompter her to ask him why
the state that is so far away. His answer, well, silent then.
Silence he could have put into. Words.
The fact that he was. Leaving to be with his
girlfriends. I had to finally chime in

(32:02):
realizing we are paying by the hour that he was moving to be
with his girlfriends. I realized later that was the
first time he had semi confessedto having an affair and a
girlfriend to anyone. If you love this person so much,
why can't you just say it out loud?
That whole situation confuses me.
Yep, so does his mental disorderand so does yours.

(32:24):
OPOP you need it. You need to get therapy anyway.
When it comes to dollars and cents.
I will be fined. He will also be fine.
He will have enough to do what he needs and so will I.
We have agreed to a physical custody scenario that allows him
weekend and dinner visits. Fine by me.
I want my boys to have their father, but the situation
becomes a bit more difficult than when he moves.

(32:45):
Why do they only ever get? Visitations on weekends?
Why do the fathers never like you always hear that, right?
I've only ever heard like weekend visits.
I wonder why? If you if you know please let me
know in the comments. I'm like genuinely curious.
Well he said yesterday he plans to stay here at least a year.
I thought that will actually happen when he does move across

(33:07):
the country. He wishes to return for one
weekend of every month to see the boys again.
I'm fine with the scenario, but where will he stay that weekend?
He has no family. Will he be just taking the boys
to a hotel again? I don't think he actually
thought this through. This is a problem I slash we
will tackle when he does decide to move.
Lastly, the mediator said it could take about two months to

(33:29):
finalize everything. He and I spoke after the session
to go over some facts and figures and I brought up a
tentative finalization date of our marriage.
I told him how two months is a good amount of time to save some
money and find an apartment, to which he agreed.
I have a feeling it's not going to be that easy.
I also reminded him about the promise to not return to visit
her until her divorce is finalized or he has a place to

(33:50):
live. He quickly became frustrated
telling me that he knew and tried to shut down that
conversation. I told him I'm happy that we are
on the same page, but I'm not budging.
If you leave while you still live here, you cannot come back.
That is something we both agreedto.
Now the big question remains, who does he break a promise
with? Obviously it's a 11 for me.

(34:11):
Stay home and help me with the kids while you save $500 and
move out quickly or leave it to visit her and I get you out of
the house sooner. I feel like that's not what
you're going to say. You're not going to be happy
about it, Opie. I already know it.
I can already envision the next paragraph update of he decided
to go visit her. Now I have to do this and that.

(34:31):
I haven't had time alone. That's just my prediction.
OK, that's right. I'm happy with either decision.
I just want to move on with my life and enjoy my moments with
my children. Update called out for a swim.
When I took this dive into Reddit community, I had no idea
where I would land. I thought my feet would hit
shallow ground and I would be ankle deep in the banks in an

(34:51):
uncomfortable swimsuit all alone.
But to my surprise, this deep ocean of Reddit readers have
engulfed me into the warm watersand I'm surrounded by a sea of
support. For this, I am thankful.
I am also touched by the droves of people who have reached out
for advice or offered their own experiences as lessons to be
learned. To the one seeking advice, I
tell them I am not an expert swimmer.

(35:12):
I am merely doggy paddling through the sea of hurt and
confusion. Please don't use me as a sign of
strength. Don't worry, I don't think
anyone was. I don't think anyone was.
Not to be an asshole. Because the truth.
Is I am not strong, I am you what?
I am the woman who reads becausethey are suspicious of late.

(35:34):
Wait, what? How are you going to call us?
You. You.
I am you, right? Literally this is what the
sentence says. Because the truth is I am not
strong. I am you bitch.
No, I didn't have kids with somebody that wasn't a reliable
partner. OK?
Anyways, I am the woman who reads because they are
suspicious of late night phone calls her husband takes.

(35:56):
I am the spouse who has shouldered the entire family and
is in desperate need of support.I'm the woman who misses
affection from her husband who is next to her in bed every
night. I am you to those people who
have yet to catch their partner cheating but are suspicious.
Trust your gut. Does this girl not realize that
people like to read these thingsto laugh at other people?

(36:17):
Like the cheating story subreddit.
It's too like be nosy, like OK, just because you found this
subreddit in a way I'm really I don't Opie's pissing me off.
I don't know. I don't like that It's very.
Shallow minded, it's very the world revolves around me, which

(36:37):
means I will only ever see the way the world is used and the
way I only use it. OK Cheating is a coward's choice
to be braver than them and face the truth.
To the spouse who is the fixer and takes on every challenge,
take a step back. When you help, even with good
intention, you're actually just hurting yourself.

(36:58):
To the spouse who has tried everything to receive physical
attention from their partner butto no avail.
Their affection is probably going somewhere else.
These are lessons I wish I couldhave told myself months if not
years ago. Listen to me or just listen to
you. I mean it.
You got to learn some of these things through experience,
especially with so many years oflike a relationship.

(37:20):
It's so specific. To those two people.
Only that only they know. It's a dynamic that can't
necessarily be conveyed. Over a fucking Reddit thread.
So you got to learn it through experience.
So like, yeah, you're fine. Don't.
Don't beat. Yourself up Opie for taking
months to learn something. I'm glad you at least fucking

(37:41):
learned it. Most people don't see the sharks
on the water who call me a bad mom, a crazy bitch, fake, or
even just. Think I'm out of my mind?
You will find no blood in this water so it's best you move on
and find a thread where the OP will chum the water for you.
OK, it's so very easy to read and judge this.
I understand. I just hope that if this ever

(38:01):
happens to you that you will be as brave, logical and composed
as you expect others to be. That's why people read these.
If not, you will find sharks circling you as well.
So I hope you are as strong of aswimmer as you claim to be.
If you're still reading my saga,Survival continues.
Our final mediation papers will arrive this week.

(38:21):
We were able to settle everything at the last meeting
on one out of 12O on January. 12th I read that as 1/12.
Oh my God. Oh man, that's hilarious.
Oh man. And the documents just need our
signature. After that, the divorce papers
need to be served and filed withthe county.

(38:42):
Then we await our court date. Which will be done via zoom.
Yes a bit anti climatic but it will still serve its purpose of
divorcing. He has started finally to look
for an apartment but nothing to his satisfaction.
Maybe he's being picky or maybe he's comfortable living in the
basement. No, he's just taking advantage
of you. Wow, you didn't set a boundary.
Wow. So he's going to take advantage

(39:04):
of it either way. Once the divorce papers are
stamped, he needs to be gone. He has started making phone
calls to her during the day and I can hear him giggling
downstairs. I'm happy he is happy, I really
am. That isn't passive aggressive.
I know I will be happy one day too.
He just got there 1st and that'sOK.
I feel like my life is in limbo right now.
I can't move forward because I'mchained to the past.

(39:26):
I'm hoping his move will be soon.
I suspect he wants out of for February 1st so he can go visit
her for Valentine's Day. I hope for his sake and mind
that he makes his deadline. I will update again after I
received the mediation paperworkand divorce papers are served.
I'm sure that will stir up a lotof thought and emotion so I'm
certain it will be doozy. Till then I'll keep doggy

(39:49):
paddling and update called souvenirs.
If you've been following along then you know that there was a
chance you would leave for Valentine's Day to go visit her.
Well, he left this morning. He told the kids I'm going as he
walked out the door, leaving me to explain.
A few hours later that he had toleave to quote work when they

(40:11):
started asking for him. I've learned that I can't have
expectations. Just because I would try to be
more honest with the kids doesn't mean he would.
Yeah, Congrats. You're starting to catch on,
Opie. I was really proud of the fact
that I didn't even engage him inthe discussion debate argument
of going. Yes, I had loudly vocalized some
feelings a week ago when he toldme he was going, but I have not

(40:31):
engaged about him about it since.
All I asked was for his flight info so that I would know when
to expect him back. Valid.
He did not provide this information.
Maybe he thinks I'm not entitledto it.
Either way, he left and I was fine.
While we had the conversation multiple times in which he
agreed that he would not visit her again till he had an

(40:52):
apartment, he was re nedged on that agreement.
Shocker. Wow, kind of sounds like the
prediction I just made a couple minutes ago.
OK. He claims that he has every
right to be hurt here, which he does legally, and he can do as
he pleases. He put a down payment on an
apartment a few days ago, but says he doesn't know when he is

(41:14):
moving, What? The bills he pays in the house
are less than the Child Support he will have to pay.
So I think his decision to stay longer might be a financial one.
Yeah. Yeah, girl.
Oh my God, have you ever watchedany?
Dylan like Disney villain movies.
That's funny, I said Dylan like villain, Disney villain, like

(41:36):
think about the worst case scenario or like the most evil
thing. Like that's him.
Like sorry, like he was your Prince Charming, but in reality
was the fucking main character villain.
I've offered. I offered him any piece of
furniture he wants in the house.I even offered to pay for half
of the cost of bunk beds. Of the boys, I just need him to

(41:58):
leave but I have no idea why he is dragging his feet.
But I learned through a mutual friend and former work colleague
of theirs that he that she recently had COVID.
When I say recently, I mean the Board of Health from her state
said she could stop quarantine. Three days ago.
But what about her kids that arein her home?
Where are they living like? During her quarantine.

(42:23):
Are like wait, OK I get you OP because I'm like I'm all about
safety and health but this is not your issue.
Fuck. You're not going to move on
because you're not allowing yourself to move on.
You're so fucking nosy. Be nosy.
For your own fucking growth, whynot be asking questions about
what am I going to do? What am I going to wear on my
next first date? What am I going to work on the

(42:43):
next time? Like what am I going to try to?
Learn now. That's completely not relevant
to my divorce. Am I going to go back to school?
Am I going to move? Am I going to sell my house and
just go ahead and restart and start a different state?
Like girly girl No stop fuck them fuck that shit.

(43:04):
Holy crap you are literally investing in their life.
That's not. You I you probably are a people
pleaser. And you're not getting anything
back out of it. So you, you feel like you just
have to keep trying and keep involving yourself in these
people's lives because. That's.
All you know is to make people happy.

(43:24):
Look what it's doing, it's doingnothing.
It's literally doing nothing. You were literally getting
pissed and working yourself up about what ifs and all these
questions. You're in denial in the same
amount as he was in denial. So makes sense why he jumped to

(43:45):
a affair rather than talking to you.
Because y'all are both just picking motherfucking daisies,
not focusing on the things that need to happen.
Such as. Self investment, which you can
still do in any marriage or relationship.
It's called confidence. Confidence isn't just thinking
you're hot shit. It's.

(44:05):
Literally doing things for yourself, Oh my God.
Yeah, she goes on. Are they positive, perhaps
asymptomatic? Will my?
Soon to be asked. Be bringing me and her children
a COVID souvenir. I'm livid.
Of course you're mad, bitch. You're mad about everything.
I don't blame you, but you're going to be mad forever.

(44:26):
How about that's a question. When's the next day?
I'm not going to be fucking mad.When's the next day I'm not
going to ask a stupid fucking question?
Update. COVID, insativity and.
I can't even fucking say it. Hello, do it again COVID
insensitivity. For all those messaging me with
concern and for updates, I apologize for my tardiness.

(44:49):
Another. That's another sign you're a
fucking people pleaser. It has been a heartbreaking 2
weeks to amend for my absence. I'll be posting 2 updates
tonight. Let me start from the beginning.
My soon to be X left for his getaway on 2/12 and did not
return until 2:15 which is February 12th and returned
February 15th. During his blissful vacation, my
family and I suffered a great loss of one of our most beloved

(45:12):
members to COVID. Holy shit I was a mess.
Holy shit. Everyone I love was devastated.
I called my soon to BX on February 13th and told him that
it was not good. It was Latimer.
He was there were children yelling he afforded me.
He was outside with her kids. Wow.

(45:33):
Can't remember the last time we took our children outside but I
just. I digress.
I shouldn't have expected him tocare about my bad news, but he
was concerned. I guess there's still a decent
bone somewhere in him. That concern would not last long
enough. Girl, you shouldn't have even
like told him why do you want Ohmy God because now you just
literally planted a. Seed that you're able.

(45:54):
To get him to be satisfied or like, I mean, it's not
satisfaction, it's just for him to respond emotionally to show
that he cares about you. You are.
Just putting a hand out to somebody that isn't going to
give you shit. Isn't going to give me shit and
he did and like you're even likeit won't last long like no, the
fuck it didn't no, it didn't. Upon his return, as he usually

(46:19):
does, he schedules a COVID test.He scheduled one for four days
after his return. But due to snow in our air, my
dogs are very excited about something outside.
Do you hear them? They're, they're very excited.
They're, they're, we're just going to, we're just.
Going to let that. Let that go by.

(46:41):
How does that sound for everyone?
OK, let's go ahead and let's go ahead and continue back to the
story. We're almost done, man. 45
minutes in we're we're almost done though, OK?
OK. Trying to figure out where was

(47:01):
that OK, he scheduled one for four days after his turn, but
due to snow in our area he did not go.
This I understand but the weather cannot be controlled.
Then he told me he rescheduled for four days.
Later and then does not want to go at home.
COVID does the fuck the fuck. Then he told me he rescheduled
blah blah blah blah and when I questioned him his response was

(47:23):
I feel fine. I suspected since he probably
got a negative COVID test shortly before his arrival he
felt safe and not getting another one.
Not until Monday March 1st did he finally get tested.
I fell 2 weeks later. Why?
You know my family just suffereda terrible loss to COVID.
How could you be so reckless andinsensitive?
The insensitive question is rhetorical.

(47:43):
I obviously know the answer already.
OK. Oh, Pete, you're.
I'm not going to yell at you this time.
You know why? You know why?
Lessons. I know the answer.
Already good job. That's a good.
Step another update. The real monster.
The day is approaching. Large boxes are being delivered
to the house daily, containing new furniture to be assembled.

(48:05):
The sounds of packing tape beingripped from the spool.
Oh, from the spool. You never really read the word.
Spool, you know, you see pool. A lot, but not spool.
Spool flood the house every evening he's moving out.
I'm overjoyed. I'm so glad that I have actually
started engaging him in conversation.

(48:27):
Yes, we have to chat to figure out child support and
scheduling, but now I'm so ecstatic he's leaving.
I even ask about his move. I feel like a kid at Christmas.
While we were discussing his move, what he would be taking
from the house, and the schedulefor seeing the children, I asked
if he planned to visit her. No, this wasn't me prying.
We need to set an overnight and weekend schedule for the kids
and I was hoping to be accommodating to any trips he

(48:47):
had planned. But then my curiosity got the
best of me. Not curiosity Opie, your self
consciousness. You're almost there though.
You're you're getting there. Small baby steps and I hope the
reason you're so happy is because you finally got some
good Dick after finally going out.
I really hope so. I asked if she plans to come

(49:09):
here to meet the kids. He replied with the affirmative
and said she may come. Well good for you both, but I
would like to meet her before she meets the children.
He went silent, I could tell he was rolling thoughts around in
his head or perhaps trying to figure out a way of the
situation, but he came up empty.He honestly wanted to know why I
needed to meet her. Excuse me, come again?
You really think I would let my children spend time with someone

(49:30):
I didn't know? I'm the mother that interviews
babysitters, why would you thinkI wouldn't want to meet her?
He claims to be worried that I won't be civil, but he knows me
better than that. I have nothing to gain being
rude to her. It's just ammo.
I refuse to play that game. Plus why would I care?
I don't want him. That's your prize now honey?
Congrats. But he recognizes that he can't
stop me in this. OK?

(49:51):
I have every right to meet her as he would to meet someone I am
dating. When it comes to the kids, we he
slash we can't keep secrets. I think the real concern about
us meeting is this. She will realize I'm not the
horrible monster he made me out to be, his plans of
assassinating my character to build himself up or to receive
pity from her and the constant gas lighting will be revealed.

(50:13):
She will see that I'm not pinning over him, quarreling
with him, and that I'm genuinelya good person.
Maybe she will see that he mightbe the real monster.
OK girly pop, what are we doing again?
We're daydreaming of a nightmare.
Why? Why are you?
Over fucking analyzing this. Stop it.
Stop doing it. Another update, like father,

(50:36):
like son. My soon to be ex was quiet, more
quiet than usual, almost sulking.
I don't understand his motivations anymore and what he
actually cares about. So I left it alone.
Not my business to care and comfort anymore, right?
That evening after the children went to bed, he sat alone at the
dining room table. It was as if he was waiting for
me to dress him. I did not sulk.

(50:58):
Correct. OP, you should have said sulky a
little bitch, OK? That is your issue, not mine.
After he received no attention from me, he made this big
announcement. He.
Claims he told everyone happenedbetween us, including his
father. Then, oddly enough, he started
to cry. Holy.

(51:19):
Shit COP. This is why the absence of
evidence is not the evidence of absence.
OK. For those that know, they know.
Full ugly tears. I thought these were tears of
embarrassment and shame. He then proceeded to tell me the

(51:40):
conversation he had with his father was the first time his
dad actually acted like a fathertowards him.
While that statement in itself is unsettling, it is also
confusing. I'm guessing his father
supported him. I know if this was my son I'd
support him, but also have some strong words about how he went
about this and how he should probably proceed in the future.

(52:03):
But it looks like he received 100% support.
So while I understand, I don't understand something was wrong
here. Like I said, the apple does not
fall far from the tree. No siree.
Plot twist, what if flake? OK hear me out, hear me out,
hear me out real quick. What if OP is actually the

(52:25):
narcissist? Like switching all these stories
around and blah blah blah makingus hate him and the dad.
Fell for a narcissistic wife like like his dad so O PS soon
to be X his father got married married a narcissist left her

(52:46):
ass and that's when like you know there are cases with
narcissism where the mom's like.Nah motherfucker, you don't get
to see any of the kids. Fuck you, just money.
I control everything. Right?
So that's why the dad wasn't in the soon to be X's life.
And when you were raised by a narcissist and like have a
mother of a narcissist, because the dad wasn't in the picture.

(53:08):
So it's only the mom you're going to fall in, you're going
to fall for somebody that's a narcissist as well.
Not saying every time. And like that's why the dad 100%
supports them. Just a wild theory.
Just a wild theory. I'm sorry if I just like tainted
your perspective of everything that's just a funny like.

(53:28):
A sad it's it's absolutely heartbreaking, but that would be
funny as hell. OK?
Last week was my youngest son's birthday.
I asked my soon to be X if he would like to invite his father
over for cake. He text him several times with
no response. He learned through their
conversation and confession lastnight that his father was in
another state of work. OK understandable.

(53:49):
But here's the kicker, he went away with a New Girl he was
dating. Why is this strange you ask?
He just asked his wife of 30 years for a divorce at the end
of January. So this makes me think, is
adultery a learned behavior? My father-in-law abandoned my
soon to be ex when he was nine years old, the same age as my
eldest son. Now.
Is there a pattern here or is this all just a crazy

(54:10):
coincidence? OK, OK, OK.
I mean yeah, probably I think it's coincidence of the age or
it's hella repents fucking trauma.
Someone obviously didn't. I mean like smells like

(54:34):
childhood trauma in a neglected therapy sessions if he even was
lucky enough to get them as a child.
OK, I could not help myself. I messaged my mother-in-law.
She confirmed that they are divorcing.
I asked if there was any infidelity and she claims to her
knowledge no, but I know better.She said that my father-in-law
started to withdraw from her. He started picking fights for no

(54:56):
reason and avoided interacting with her last fall.
Then in January he said he wanted a divorce so that he
could find himself. A man who's in his 60s, close to
retirement needs to find himself.
Sounds like a cop out to me. Girly pop.
It is a midlife crisis. Well a little late one but we
don't know his life. But now that I've learned there
is another woman which my mother-in-law does not know, I

(55:17):
understand what his that his bloodline of men are truly
selfish and unfit partners. I know all my comments will tell
me to tell my mother-in-law about the infidelity on his part
and I plan on doing so. I just need to break down a
little bit more information before I break the news to her.
Another update, moving trucks and spilled tea.
It happened finally. He's.

(55:37):
Gone. My basement is so empty and
quiet. It echoes the day he moved.
A box truck pulled up to my house and my children ran to the
window to watch. I didn't know how to distract
them as I was working. I was able to pull them away
from the window with the promiseof treats once they were able.
Once they were at the table to do school work.
I mean kids aren't dumb. They can pick up in your

(55:58):
emotions dumb fuck. That's why they had issues.
My youngest though would not budget.
After 45 minutes of loading the truck pulled away and my soon to
be extra of off my youngest cameaway from the window looking
sad. I immediately talked to him and
tried to confront him, comfort him.
After a few moments he asked is the truck coming back.
I was confused. I told him that we were staying

(56:19):
here and no one else was moving.Apparently he wasn't upset that
daddy was leaving, he just wanted the truck.
OK. I'm not sure how I would feel
about this. I made appointments with a child
therapist for both my kids. Should have been done months
ago, OP. What the fuck?
OK well they seem fine now. I'm not sure what the future
holds for the mental state. I'm afraid this would be

(56:40):
repressed and issues will arise down the road.
Like your husband, his friends have been reaching out to me,
not that they now that they knowwhat happened.
I'm getting texts and Facebook messages asking how I am.
I know in reality they're just being nosy.
They may care a little, but theyjust want me to spill the tea.
And that's why everyone else is here too.
Well, if I put. The kettle on.

(57:01):
I wasn't surprised to learn thatmy swing to be ex wasn't
completely honest with them. He failed to mention traveling
during a pandemic to visit her. I guess that would make him look
reckless, selfish, idiotic. The whites of his friends are in
shock. No, I don't think it matters if
someone came to visit during a pandemic like you can.
No, no, sorry, because I myself went on a very fun adventure

(57:26):
during a pandemic. It it'll be fine.
No one fucking died. They considered my soon to be ex
a friend that could be trusted. Wait real quick I also want to
add to that. Duh.
If you like, take care of, like,really old people or really
young people or you're around people that are like, have bad

(57:48):
health, yeah. Fuck you if you travel during
the pandemic and like yeah but no, no, nothing wrong with that.
Nothing wrong with that. The wives of his friends are in
shock. They consider my soon to be XA
friend that could be trusted. A man who had it all together.
Basically they trusted my soon to be X would be a good
influence on their husbands. Boy, were they.
Wrong. Concerning my mother-in-law, I

(58:12):
have not told her this is because I don't have any real
information. What I did tell her though was
to do some investigation to see if he is having an affair.
This would be a benefit as her state has adultery laws.
They are still legally married and living in the same house so
to my knowledge the law applies.But she seems hesitant.
I think she's just afraid to find out the truth and then she

(58:32):
has to look at him every day. This I understand.
No person spouse should have to experience that.
I know it was gut wrenching for me and perhaps many of you
reading can relate as well. I just don't want to be the one
to tell her. Perhaps this is because I'm
still upset I had to find out onmy own and my swing to be ex was
too much of A coward to come clean.

(58:52):
Why should a cheating spouse getthe thrill of cheating and be
relieved of the burden of havingto confess?
Because they're manipulators, honey.
Oh no, I thought the fucking updates were done but it says
the saga continues on a new thread.
How long is this? Oh, hold on, This is, I think

(59:18):
this is the final update. No, don't tell me.
It's a fucking massive thread. We're already like an hour in.
It's it's another one. It's another massive.
Fucking. Page like look at this 1234.
Fives brother, I don't want to be that fucking person.

(59:44):
I don't want to be that YouTube or that podcaster, but we're
going to have to do a Part 2 honey, we're going to have to do
a Part 2. I hope that's OK for everyone
because. I've been recording for 50
minutes. My throat feels like I've been
fucked in the back alley. I got my tonsils cleaned.
That's what it sounds like. So I'm going to have to record

(01:00:07):
on a different episode. It's OK though because I will
clearly title. Them OK, I will.
Clearly title them, but how are we feeling?
Wow. This is why it's so important to
set boundaries, because you see how it just mingles into
everything into. Everything but it's OK because

(01:00:33):
apparently we're OP. I'm listening to Reddit radio.
Catch you on the next frequency.