If you have bad friends, this is for you.

do you find yourself struggling with toxic friends? well, then lets talk.

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Friends can be out of this world.
And no, no, that doesn't mean they're good.
Means they're out of their fucking minds sometimes.
Let's read it, bestie. So in today's episode.

(00:35):
I'm not going to be wearing these glasses this entire time
it was giving me. Horrible, horrible bug eye.
Like, like they're warped. You see these like they're
warped. No, thank you.
I would like to be able to read.And see all my monitors.
Thank you. But hi, welcome back.
Bestie Yes, we're gonna talk about shitty people,

(01:00):
specifically the people that saythat they're.
Your friends when they're. Out of their.
Fucking minds and no. I I don't.
Care what mental. Health excuse you have.
There's a reason it's called an excuse, and there's a reason
that all the quotes. Say love yourself before you
love. Somebody else 'cause you can
only know as deeply as you know you.

(01:22):
So it's the reality of the world, right?
So I searched. Bad friends on Reddit and we're
gonna just go through it and seesee how everyone else is
handling this horrible disconnected world of quote UN
quote friendship because. I don't know about you.
But when it comes to me, it is really difficult for me to I

(01:49):
sound a little lonely. I'm not lonely.
But I just have high. Expectations because I expect my
friends to be able to take care of themselves and I expect my
friends to not treat. Me like a product.
You know what I mean? Like I'm not an encyclopedia,
I'm a person. You can say anything you want

(02:13):
about it, but I don't know aboutyou.
It's my life and it's who I wantin mine.
And if I want 200 plus fucking platypuses.
In my life, I'll keep them, but somebody that's going to smile
through their teeth, I don't want to.
Keep them. And no, it's not the good smile,
it's the I have something to askyou smile.

(02:36):
We don't fuck with that bestie, remember, OK?
And yes, I. Have you guys?
You guys are my bestie, don't get me wrong.
I'm not belittling that at all. Mean the world to me.
But it's the it's the face to face bullshit.
And I know you have been dealingwith it too, because ever.

(02:57):
Since COVID when we started doing all online.
Bullshit. People don't know how to
fucking. Socialize or they're just so.
Caught up in the idea of I don'tknow.
Fake realities. That people make on social
media. I try to be as honest as
motherfucking possible. So.
That's why we're going to be talking about this, because
we're all here for a. Reason.
And the reason is. To reflect.

(03:19):
On our past friendships so. Top.
Post when searching for bad. Friends on Reddit, it says.
What are some common signs? That you have shitty friends.
Let's do it. Really.
Quick 1 when? They only ask for things. 2 when
they never talk to you unless they're asking for three things,

(03:40):
and three, they have nothing to offer.
You why? And no, that's not selfish.
It's it's it's a relationship you're supposed to be able to
provide. Things back and forth otherwise.
It's a. Parasite.
OK, we have a top comment when they always need or want
something from you, but when youneed help, they're always busy

(04:01):
or nowhere to be found. All right, let's go ahead and
check off #1. Of what I just said.
I did not pre read. These I just I've.
Had my fair share. Today we're going to be focusing
on the emotion of anger. OK.
Let's go ahead and next comment.They only talk about themselves

(04:23):
and never ask how you're doing or about things of interest to.
You you have to do. All the work for arrangements to
meet and they never initiate anything.
I'm going to add a. Little quick little, quick
little. Side note, which I'm just so
good at because I can't even read more than like. 8 words

(04:43):
before I. Want to do my own input OK.
Sorry, I'm a yapper. But.
They will start trying to initiate things when they start
getting suspicious. Because obviously.
You don't want to just. Tell somebody right off the you.
Don't want to tell somebody likehey by the way.
Like you're a shitty. Friend, because you're not
meeting ABCD standard, because let's be.

(05:05):
Realistic you're supposed to be.Able to set boundaries for
yourself so that when you noticethat these boundaries aren't
being met because of other things going on in your life
that are causing a downhill effect, that's when you start
realizing a friendship is reallynot good for you.

(05:25):
So they'll start getting paranoid And so you can't just
tell them AB and C isn't workingbecause then they'll be like.
Oh, they're so like, they're so.Dramatic.
Oh my gosh, my microphone is moaning.
Sorry about that. Sorry about that little.
Bit of ASMR, right? There like the like the.
Batman dude on TikTok where he. Like hits the cheese.
Grater and all that on. The microphone anyways, they
will try to initiate things and then when you don't want to do

(05:49):
it, they're they just don't get the fucking hand.
And that shows even more that they never even had the
intention of wanting to know what you're thinking or like
they can pay attention to when they're not getting something
because you're pushing them away.
But tired gato? Why can't?
Why? Why not just tell?
Them right away, because then they're going to turn the
motherfucking narrative. Because that's how these people
are. If you're not able to have a

(06:10):
friendship with somebody, it's for a motherfucking reason of
personality. Clashes and by that that's.
Usually the complete motherfucking opposite.
Of what you. Even are on your own because if
there's no sense of like friendship that you can get.
Out of this person. You're not got all going to see
at eye level down the road. After you get past.

(06:30):
So you know, like what color is the sky or how are you today?
Like in, nothing is going to click and you're going to find.
Yourself such as? Me, I'm I really like talking to
people. From all different areas,
cultures. Anything either rest right, so
I'm going to have that curiosityand that hey, I want to actually
get to know you. How are you they?

(06:51):
Don't give a fuck. Bro.
They only care because they they're trying to gauge to see
what you have. And by the way, this isn't for
everyone. This is not for everyone.
Remember the title of this episode?
Shitty friends or. Whatever I call it, right?
They will try to initiate, and that's only after you.

(07:11):
Stop right? Like they can pay attention to
that but not everything else. Next one they bail on you last
minute. Correct?
Because they don't care. They don't care, but do not get
fucking paranoid. Shit does.
Happen don't get all parasocial on me.
Shit happens OK figure out if that's an actual valid reason.

(07:32):
How much is it actually happening?
Either us OK, you can't get mad at.
Jimmy for. Fucking calling, calling you and
being like, oh by the way, I can't go.
Out my mom. 'S like really sick.
Like you cannot get mad at the motherfucker.
For that. But you can't get mad at him if
he doesn't, if he if he doesn't later down like try to replan

(07:57):
something or if you try to replan something, he it's just
an excuse, an excuse, an excuse.But if it's like.
More medical things maybe Ask him if he needs fucking help.
Isn't that crazy? People can be people, and.
People need help. What?
Wow, try that out. Don't be so paranoid and let's
continue reading down. This is a massive list that

(08:18):
somebody left. Not really massive, but a dozen.
But they only approach you when they need you.
They only talk to you. In the 1st place to evaluate.
The things you have that they can take.
You feel like you're the only one in your friendship when
they're genuinely not interestedin you.
Smiling through their teeth. That was mine by the way.

(08:41):
Smiling through the teeth. They try to insult or put you
down in front of others or even embarrass you or act as a
victim, mostly saying it was a joke.
This can also be seen. With quote.
UN quote I guess constructive criticism when I didn't fucking
ask. Like what?

(09:02):
Like. Are you doing that because you
want to feel useful? Well, unfortunately, there's no
use for you in my life. And that's how you need to treat
it when people aren't treating you like a human and they're
treating. You like a service?
Got it. OK, OK, OK, OK.
You don't want to be in that friendship because they're mean,

(09:25):
correct? They talk behind your back.
They do they. Insult the things you are very
passionate about. Yeah, They're not trying to help
you. Bestie you.
Know you have a gut feeling, youknow.
Right, every remember, I always say everyone.
Does something for a reason. Whether it be?

(09:46):
A certain way someone said something right if you know
somebody. And then all of a sudden they
say something that's. Like out of pocket.
Remember, people. Are creatures of habits habit?
Is something that is done. Basically.
Fucking every day like the. Every day or every?
Other day it's most 90% of the time every day because you know
it's a habit there's some like. Quote about like if you.

(10:08):
Do something like what, 500 hours or 900?
Hours it. Becomes you get like.
Skilled at it. It's also.
The same way of like reprogramming your brain and
being like, I'm going to do this, the 30 day challenge.
Shit like that to try to. Program your brain because the
brain does not want to go away from what it's used to and how
it normally. Reacts so that's why people.

(10:29):
Do things for a reason when you're like.
That's a. Little out of the out of their.
Ordinary normalness of them, it's because something
influenced that. Whether it be positive?
Or negative. Where was I at?
They're jealous of you. This is a really.
Hard one to determine. You usually don't really know.

(10:53):
About the jealousy part. Until the very, very, very end,
where everything's. Already all cut off.
And you see how they, like, react publicly about it.
If you'll see them like. Mimic you.
Try to copy you. Try to wear your things.
And yes, that could be, you know.
Flattery or whatever, but I. Sorry, I'm just going to say

(11:15):
right here, you don't have to. Agree with me flattery.
Is not. Dismissive Being dismissive of
somebody and then deciding to. Replicate it like you already.
Let me know that I I'm not a a friend for you, right?
And so you're going to go ahead.And that's where it's not

(11:35):
flattery in my books. However, if it was an actual
genuine relationship and you know, like a friendship and I've
I enjoying myself talking to this person, then yeah, that is.
Flattery. Because I'm like, oh, like.
You like? Being around me so much that you
want to take some of my traits, you know, and I take some of my

(11:55):
friends traits too. It's normal.
We're social. People, but when you.
Do the E the rest list that we're reading?
Right now, yeah. No, fuck you.
Anyways, they're passive aggressive.
This. Is a hard one.
To detect especially. If you have the tism.
Everybody's a little. Tism touch, not in a bad way.

(12:17):
It's hard to figure out. This really does.
Depend on the person and they make you.
Feel bad about yourself and gaslight you.
This is also. Really motherfucking hard to do.
To like. Understand that it's happening
because that's why they call it being gaslit and back.
To the. Moral of my little rants, make

(12:38):
your own month of fucking boundaries about yourself and
how. You want to treat yourself.
So if you want to, I don't fucking know, make sure that you
eat 3 meals a day and work on something that is for.
You. Or like a hobby for. 30 minutes
a day and someone so fucking draining and spamming you and

(13:00):
like wanting all your attention.That's where you evaluate.
That doesn't really fit my boundary, so they're the issue,
not me. See what I mean?
That's what that is, and. Let's continue.
Let's continue. We're going to read this last
one on this segment. So if they make.
You the butt of the. Joke.
It's punching down. Never a good sign in a.

(13:21):
Group Correct, Correct correct. And remember, that group is all
bad. Not just the person making the
fucking joke. Not just the person making the
fucking joke, because that group's always going to find
somebody. To be the butt of the joke.
Right, they do that weird like human centipede offhand
bullshit. OK if they prank.
You they don't consider losing your respect, only evaluating
theirs. Pranks are only really

(13:44):
consensual in a relationship. I know that sounds like a little
gay For. For instance, I recently started
watching the Jackass movies. I have literally only watched
them when I was like 10 or 12, so I didn't really understand.
I didn't. Think it was real, right?
I I mean I was. Also like a shut in so my yeah.
Right. Stay with me, OK?

(14:05):
Stay with me. They all consented to all these
pranks, but they obviously didn't know exactly when the
prank would happen, because otherwise that ruins the fucking
prank. You have to have.
That like unspoken trust that you develop.
You can't just get it. Like, yeah.
If they leave you out, they are sending a big message so.
Read it for what it is. Yep, exactly.

(14:30):
They're too embarrassed to see you or they're don't want to
hang out with you. If they.
Disregard your well-being, but automatically.
Take care of their own. Or other members of the group.
Yep, right there, right there. That's why we set boundaries.
Because. It's reminds you when to cut
them off, not when to ignore them.
When to cut them off? The life is a.

(14:51):
Balance. If they don't know you, this one
is the most. Obvious, but also.
The one we tend to refuse to admit to.
If your friends know very littleabout you.
Lock in right here, bestie. Listen to me on this.
If you're a friend, let me move this to where I can make eye
contact with you. Let me see.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Let me, let me, let me. Let me copy and paste this.

(15:14):
Make a little bit of eye contact.
Stay with me. Stay with me bestie.
Here we go. I got.
I got this. Up in the prompter.
Because this is very. Very important and this is
exactly where I myself had to learn the.

(15:41):
Very very hard way. What the hell did I do?
Oh, technology is so fun. So fun.
Here we go, we got it. We got it, OK.

(16:03):
If they don't know you, this oneis the most.
Obvious, but also. The one we tend to refuse to
admit to If your friends know very.
Little about you. Then you know it's A1 sided
arrangement with no real interest in you.

(16:24):
And if you're unfortunately now realizing that actually, no, I'm
happy you finally fucking heard it, because they weren't going
to tell you. You're their little tool.
You're their little. There's something about you that
you. Offer to them that no one else.
Does whether it be? Being easily manipulated, being

(16:48):
easily on a leash because. You're.
Have so much love to. Give, but they find.
It amusing and they will use that against you.
People are shitty. There are a lot of really bad
people out there. They're good.
Ones out there, but we're going to stay on.
Topic of. Bad friends.
I don't want you to. Paranoid on me but no like.

(17:10):
There's a service or something? You offer these motherfuckers or
this motherfucker? To where that's all they.
Want dude, all they want is. That that's it.
Sorry. Like it really sucks.
Like I've cried. Myself to sleep so many.
Fuck. Did you see that?
Did you see that ghost? It looked like a sperm cell.
It's like my cat hair for my audio stemmers, by the way.

(17:31):
There is like. Massive like lint anyways,
anyways, anyways anyways. I've cared a lot about it.
That that was probably my. Tears of the past of Christmas
past. Flying through the fucking air.
Because I just I. Had so much love to give and I
just kept finding myself in stupid ass fucking situations

(17:53):
where no one really. Actually cared.
More than surface level bullshit.
Really. Because all they wanted.
Was some type of advice. Right, So it's the really
genuinely good, I'm not saying I'm the fucking best person, but
the people that have like good intentions, they're they have a

(18:15):
lot of genuine advice to offer and a lot of insights.
To where people take. Advantage of that they will.
Whether it be your education, whether it be a skill you have.
Well, I guess a skill would be. Just the entire.
Word for this, right? That's all they want you for.

(18:38):
I'm sorry. But here.
We don't. We don't do that shit.
I want you here because I want you to.
Grow, I want you. To acknowledge ways that.
You can improve. Because in reality, you can't
change these fuckers minds. You can't be.
Like, well, maybe. I could change something about
myself and I. Can go ahead and.

(18:59):
Then then they'll like me. They're never going to fucking
like you, so why not do what makes you happy?
Because either way, they're going to not like you.
See what I mean? And my stomach is growling up
thinking of Chick-fil-A. I'm so excited for some
Chick-fil-A. See your your enemies.
They they can't get Chick-fil-A.You know why?

(19:20):
Because they're so busy fucking.Not doing the things they're.
Supposed to be motherfucking doing.
They're poor. Oh man, oh man, let's see what
another one. Oh we have a true off my chest
saying I'm a bad. Friends like the title says.
I'm a bad friend. Let's.

(19:40):
See if they're really a bad. Friend.
Or if they're overthinking and Ihave a feeling they might have
done. Something really fucking shitty,
but. Everybody makes mistakes and if
they're admitting to it, that's the first step, OK?
I'm a bad friend. I'm a bad.
Person honestly but I can't seemto accept I'm a bad person.
I feel like the human. Character is too.

(20:01):
Complex to sum up to bring either.
Good or bad, but I can say. After coming to the realization
that I am a bad friend. OK, hold on, let's get a.
Little water break a little. Delicioso.

(20:24):
All righty. I don't really know why people
seek out friendship. Oh, we got a little bit.
Of a narcissist. Parasocial.
Not really parasocial. Wrong word on that one, American
Psycho. I know why.
But like. I guess I never really.
Understood it. I can relate to this because.

(20:46):
Growing up, I was. Bullied a lot.
And. People really didn't want to
talk to me, so I just when you see things.
From the third person, so much you feel.
Alienated and you do everything on your own that you don't think
you need other. People.
So you're like, why? Would other people need other?
People, but I just. Don't think this person learned
empathy. Empathy is like where you can

(21:07):
understand, like people. 'S perspectives by like
realizing. That everyone was raised
differently. And everyone like went to
different. Schools and had.
Different situations in a completely different dynamic.
And I think that might be. What's going on here?
Just with these first. Two sentences.
Let's read it more. I will try to resist the urge of

(21:28):
yapping. I will.
I will be pressing in my fingersto make sure I get through this
story OK. OK, I don't know if I make
friends for the wrong. Reasons or later?
Later. I don't know if I make.
Friends for the wrong reasons orlater on I just.
End up fucking up the. Whole.

(21:49):
Relationship. I'm a bad friend.
I use people. I get bored of people.
I'm never. Happy.
For my for my friends, I hate seeing their accomplishments
because it only reminds me of myown.
Failures and shortcomings. Sometimes I try to make friends,

(22:15):
but rarely are my efforts genuine.
Sometimes when I want to improvemyself, I get into this state
where I don't even feel like myself.
I feel like I'm forcing myself to be this other person, and
this other person is this friendly, outgoing.
Extroverted, positive, responsible goal.
Oriented and funny person in thestate.
I talk to multiple people. I make friends with multiple

(22:37):
people. I become active in school
projects events I join. Sports clubs.
I was fucking. Gee, I love that part of me.
People loved me. People looked up to me.
It's this crazy. High and it's so amazing.
I embody everything I used to be, everything I want to be, and
everything that isn't me. I feel.

(22:58):
Like I have this. Purpose this direction, this
future. Then I get tired or something
happens and I just. Fall apart this fake.
I'm trying to. Really turn off the nerve.
This fake personality I cultivated cracks and I reenter
the state of depression, isolation, boredom and
hopelessness. I find myself avoiding my
friends all together, especiallythe friends that have stuff

(23:21):
going on with their lives like being in the student council,
being in sports, taking college entrance exams, studying abroad.
They make me stress out about myown life in my good state.
I specifically surrounded myselfwith them because I want to
become them. I try to play the part of being
this perfectionist, smart, responsible and goal oriented

(23:42):
person. Obviously I'm not that person.
So when I go back to my true form, AKA the depressive, no.
Goals. No cares.
Kind of person. They're the first to.
See through my disguise. I feel embarrassed being around
them knowing that I'll never be the same level as them.
So they're the first to. Go besides the high achieving
ones I have other friends but they all seem to be focusing on

(24:05):
their lives and college too. It stresses me out.
Honestly any friendship stressesme out I get.
Bored of people? Easily.
It's like a new relationship. The first part is always.
Fun. Both are genuine and exerting
the the maximum effort but stillenjoying it.
Then the high is gone. Bro needs to go to psychiatrist.

(24:27):
OK, let's continue. I enter my positive state so I
befriend people. I get burnt out and bored of
that person. And by the way.
If you're this type of person. I got some amazing fucking
advice for you just. Hold on, let me finish.
This cuz I'm trying to work on this.
My God, it's so. Long OK, that's what she said.
Let's read it. I don't plan on retaining any

(24:47):
lifelong friendships. I hate the commitments.
I can't commit to others when I can't commit to my life in
general. I have boundaries.
Like I said, being so close to another human makes me
uncomfortable. I don't really think I care
about these connections. I think I just like the
intention in the beginning of the friendship.
Where it's all highs. They make me feel good about
myself. It's amusing to me.
I'm mildly amused enough with this person to stay around, but

(25:10):
it doesn't take long before the person doesn't amuse me anymore
and I get bored of them. I don't think I'm friend
material. I'm fake.
I don't really care about anyonebut.
Myself for as long. As I can remember, they start
talking about how they were a child up until now.
They didn't care much about. Others.
They kind of cared about their family, hated emotional
obligations of friendship, like being there when they're crying.

(25:33):
They're never good at comfortingtheir friends, hated attention
when it went to them instead of me.
OK, so I'm going to just keep. I'm just going to read the last
paragraph. Because they just repeat
themselves. A lot.
Not in like a dismissive way, it's just.

(25:53):
It's a lot of. Reassurance.
Repetition, which I don't. Blame them because they're not
understanding. Their purpose, right?
Because. We're social beings we're
supposed to made to produce. Like not saying everybody should
have kids. But like our brains are.
Literally to eat. Shit, piss and fuck.
OK. I don't even know what to say or

(26:13):
why I'm saying this. I'm lonely.
As hell, but it's too. Tiring to have a friendship.
I don't know if I have the capacity to change anymore with
how anxious I am with looming down.
That is adulthood in college. I don't know if I care anymore
that I'm letting life pass me by.
I'm just so meh. OK, OK.
Before. We get in the comments.

(26:34):
If you are this person. If you're this person, I'm.
Fucking sorry because I. Myself.
Have felt the world of. Where they?
At where they at? The World of Alienation for my
audio stummers, I. Got beautiful Glorb glasses on.
I did you get that? OK, let me translate it.

(27:00):
So basically. You're not insane.
You're just have different expectations you have.
Things. Where you believe the way that
people accept. Emotions or how they show.
It are different than the way you do so that's where the.

(27:23):
Alienation comes in even. Harder.
It is abnormal. I mean, what's even normal?
These days, but I don't think it's a.
Lost cause I think being attentive to knowing that you
don't find value in a. Friendship.

(27:43):
It really. Could mean that you just can't
find somebody. Else that has the same.
Values as. You.
And that. Would.
Bleed to a lot of. Frustration, wouldn't it?
Not even if you have never experienced this, You'd go
insane. You're like.
What the fuck's the? Point.
Everybody else can smile and laugh.
Nobody else. Like let's say you go to.
Like school, right? In one class, everybody's.

(28:05):
Talking about an anime that you've never fucking watched,
but nowhere you cannot escape. This.
Just impending doom of the goddamn conversation about if
you watch the next episode like.I don't even know who.
The character is. I don't even know what you're
talking. About and it's every interaction
is revolving around the fact. That you're left out because.

(28:29):
You cannot connect with these. People, this is what OP.
Is going through. And it can be even as simple as
that. Even as because it's not.
Simple. It really is.
Fucking exhausting to not be able to connect with people.
But. The thing that.
Really. We're not self diagnosis.
People here I'd never ever recommend.

(28:49):
That I recommend writing down how you.
Feel and what you feel. Rather than saying what the.
Fuck you have because sorry. You don't have the education of
that. OK, well, we're not
motherfucking doctors here, right?
And don't say oh but. Doctor's this, doctor's that.
Nah, bro. Sounds like just an excuse of

(29:10):
why you're not. Wanting to get help and yeah,
it's fucking expensive. You know what's more expensive
though? Trying to fucking pay for
maladaptive coping mechanisms like this person.
If you have the extreme high of first meeting somebody and then
you going going up and down, that's not normal.
That is extremely exhausting. On your immune system.

(29:36):
Like you have your fight or flight?
Right. Yeah, your epinephrine, you're
fast and going, right? This person is just playing with
it. And because they have nothing
else to entertain, it's like a drug addict, right?
They're addicted to the high. This is no difference.
OK. Like yeah, there are.
Differences I remember I. Get you, I get you.

(29:56):
Like this person's not. Going to overdose on this.
But it can lead up to finding something that would cause life
threatening issues. And this is life threatening.
To be fucking fair. It just doesn't have as much
physical symptoms where people can catch on.
Being alone will kill you. This is not a life.

(30:17):
That someone deserves to live. Yeah, if you.
If you find yourself in the situation, write down what the
hell is going on in your head? Whether it be writing down,
opening your phone, giving a voice memo.
Just like you. Don't have to even listen.
To it back. Just be like, oh man, like.

(30:39):
I feel way better, it's like. You're not going to hold in a
fucking shit then go to a job interview, are you?
And if you have, do you not? Remember how much your you.
Felt icky inside. Now imagine.
Oh man, I just should have takenthat.
Shit beforehand. Oh.
Man, back to I'm sorry, if you don't have headphones on you,

(30:59):
you have to know yourself, even how he was like, I don't even
have like a friendship with myself.
Back to boundaries. You can don't know your boundary
if you don't know yourself. But yeah, they're just masking.
They're masking something, something we know something's
not normal. With the way that they.
Process things and that's fine. That's why we have motherfucking

(31:21):
medicine. Medicine to help people.
That don't know what the fuck's going on right And a normal way
normal. By normal I mean you're happy
and you aren't fighting to. Stay alive because this person.
Is fighting to stay alive. That's a lot of depression.
That's a lot of. Really red flags.
OK. Just trust me on that one, OK?

(31:46):
Yeah, if you're going through that, I'm.
I'm very, very sorry. Alienation is a motherfucking
pain in the ass, especially withsocial media because you get to
see all these people. Hanging out well, I.
Promise you those people aren't actually having fun hanging out.
Some of my best Hangouts I've never taken photos of because
I'm having so much fun I don't feel like I have to show it.
So yeah. Let's do this.
Last one really quick called What are some subtle signs of a

(32:09):
bad friend? When it comes to friends and
friendships, I think we often hear about the overt signs of a
bad friend. Rather than the subtle ones.
I wanted to know what are some signs that your friends aren't
being good friends, or perhaps subtle signs that they just
aren't the. Crowd you should be with.
I really. Like that they separated.
It into two different little. Sections called the the little.

(32:31):
Signs. That they're not good friends
versus it's not your crowd. They both play hand in hand
because each. Person.
Has their own characteristics and things that they do to make
the group and the. It's and then, but sometimes the
group. Dynamic you have like the.
Butt of the joke. Person some groups.
Like to have the? Person on the lower.

(32:52):
Or they like to enforce. People like it's a hierarchy.
You'll notice that. So that's what I hope.
People are going to talk about in the comments, so.
Let's read it. Top comments only.
Being there when they need you or when things are OK sounds
like a little bit of a trend, huh?
But when you need them, they're nowhere to be seen.
It's understandable if it happens once or just a few
times, but if it's frequent? I'd say it's a red flag.

(33:14):
Back to what, Jerry? With the mom that's sick.
Someone did reply to that. Saying funny, I experienced this
a lot and tried to teach myself that maybe it is a boundary or
they would say something. But they kept quiet until it
built. Until it built it then went cold
Turkey on me after external factors.
Pushing them to. Speak up, they decided.

(33:35):
To confront me. I just think that if.
They cared. They'd address it way.
Earlier and not let something asbeing as an avoidant person come
through. So when are you going to be
understanding friend? I think it's just.
Leeway to enabling the avoidant behavior.
I myself am still sad but I agree with this person's
comments. I came searching for the signs
and this was the first. Would like to add we don't know

(34:00):
with this person who made that comment.
We don't know what that friendship.
Was like because if they're. Saying I'm.
Still sad, but I agree. With this person's comments of
kind of like people pushing you away.

(34:21):
Sorry I I my last. Brain cell is like.
Going overtime right now. I'm just trying to like.
Fully loop it around because I Iwant to always.
Be able to see both. Sides right so we.
We now heard that person side. Because the other.
Person's not there to. Comment on it so.
We got to understand that it could be the completely fucking.
Opposite, let's say this person.That.

(34:42):
Commented about agreeing with all.
This and how they got cut off and then the person end up
confronting them. They're not wrong, like
absolutely, but the same time. Who's to say that this?
Person wasn't a. Person that met the.
Friend's boundary. Of what the their?

(35:03):
Friend was expecting to enjoy. Out of life.
Like if they're still sad but still agree like that.
Shows that they kind of seem needy.
Like, what do you mean? You're still sad that somebody
cut you off? Is that not relieving that needs
to you? We need to be able to see that
as a relieving situation. It's wow, I don't have to waste

(35:23):
my time anymore on a. Friendship that I thought was.
Going somewhere and when in reality it wasn't like the fuck,
like, that's amazing. So that's where it's like, oh,
that's a little bit of an. Attachment behavior.
That's a little bit. We're lingering here.
That's like, I get it. If it's like an ex relationship
like like dating but even with that there's a.

(35:46):
Little bit of red flags, but. It's expected out of.
That to still be sad. But when it's like.
Oh, like I hope that we're just sad.
Because we wanted more memories.With them versus I'm sad.
Because. I'm not getting anything out of
this. Friend anymore because it sounds
very attache. That's that's where.
I'm coming from. I've just been screwed over.

(36:06):
By a lot of fucking people. And that's what that that's.
Radiating off of but I am biasedand.
A lot of people suck. Next comment 4.
Little notes. Let's do it, let's do it.
So in The Girl. Survival Guide.
This is what this community. Is about subtle signs of bad

(36:27):
friendship. Four of them.
One lack of boundaries. Because remember bestie, a
boundary is for you. It's your blueprint to know when
to tell people to fuck off. 2 self centeredness when your
boundaries get overlapped and you.
Can't take care of yourself? Because they want it all about

(36:49):
them. Their boundaries become your
boundaries. 3 mean but playing it off as a.
Joke bitch. You're not a stand up comedian.
You're not funny. And four judge.
Mental towards others. If they're talking shit about
her, they're talking shit about you.

(37:10):
It's a trend and people are. Creatures of habits, all righty.
And that's that and real. Quick, I'd like to say I hope
you guys kind of learned something today.
If not. I'm so proud of you.
OK, let's go ahead and end this call.
Take care, see you later. Bye.