July 22, 2025 • 60 mins
Dearest Bestie,
I found the juiciest viral posts on the internet and you KNOW I had to tell you first. We're talking internet drama, clapbacks of the century, microwave fails, and text convos that could end friendships (and probably did). Some of these went so viral, I swear I saw them on a billboard once.
This is the kind of video you watch when you want to laugh, gasp, cringe, and send someone a “OMG watch this NOW” message. It's pure chaos energy, and I'm bringing it straight to your screen with zero shame and maximum popcorn.
Hit that subscribe button, babe. Let’s keep scrolling through the wildest corners of the internet together. You + me + strangers oversharing online = happiness.
Love and secondhand embarrassment,Your messy internet twin
tiredgato xoxo
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Well, I have a bunch of packagesI want to hold myself
accountable by not just opening them without you.
So that's what today is about. So we are going to be on the am
(00:34):
I the asshole community reading the top post of this month and
it's July, so July 2025 for those time travelling right now.
And that's for this package to be open.
So let's go ahead and read the first story.
Let's put them up here on on this little trove of platypuses.
(00:59):
I don't. That's gonna fall.
OK, there we go. Interesting noises for my audio
stemmers. It's OK.
I'm still proud of you. First story.
Am I the asshole for telling my friend she's in the same league
as men she calls ugly? I mean, equal rights, right?
(01:27):
OK, let's read it. Let's read it.
My friend. 19, female, downloaded dating apps like
Tinder and Hinge for the first time about a week ago.
We know how this is going to go.OK, for reference, she's a type
that always says she wants a boyfriend, wants to do a couple
things, feels lonely, single, etcetera.
(01:47):
She's also, in my opinion at least, very normal and average
looks wise. Not ugly, not super hot, just
all right. Since then she's been
complaining to me that almost all the men there are ugly
shorts, etcetera. Oh, we got the girl with the
(02:07):
minimum 6 feet. Is this what's going on?
And that she doesn't watch. She doesn't watch.
She doesn't watch or match with anybody hot.
I mean, everybody's like at about like 96°F.
So we're all slow roasting. OK, so we're all a little hot.
(02:28):
Yeah, take that with what you want.
I asked to see which people she was calling ugly, and so she
showed me her likes and it mostly showed people perfectly
in her league. Very nice way to put it, Sir.
OK, as in moderately attractive guys.
(02:49):
I told her that these guys were all in her league and she should
give some of them a chance sinceshe always complaints about
wanting to be in a relationship.Sounds like an honest friend to
be brother. Brother's probably Capricorn.
He probably puts it really blunt.
OK. She denied that she's the same
league as them and said that she's much more attractive than
(03:12):
them. I pointed out that in her own
words, she doesn't match with any of the guys she does find
attractive, so she's not in their league.
Bro literally went. You sure about that?
So she said I'm the asshole. Am I?
Yeah, you could be the asshole. But just because you're an
(03:34):
asshole doesn't mean you're not right.
So I think that's OK. Am I the asshole?
Yeah, mainly because she didn't ask for it that way.
And are you wrong? No, not, not at all.
Good job. I I'm sorry but I would rather
want a friend to tell me that I have something on my face than
save the thought for themselves.Like the hell the fuck.
(03:59):
Let's see what top comments. Everybody sucks here.
I'm so glad I'm not 19 anymore. Oh man oh man that that got
31,000 of votes and not the asshole.
Those apps have algorithms that track who likes you and adjust
the options you're shown. So essentially an attractiveness
(04:22):
algorithm. If she wants to be superficial
and how she rates guys then she needs to be able to handle the
same standard. Yep Yep Yep.
And they said I'm getting a lot of comments.
I don't work for those companiesso I don't know the algorithms
are exactly. I read an article a year or so
ago that indicated all of those apps are designed to make money,
(04:45):
which often means manipulating options available to men to
increase rates of purchasing premium services and then
getting matches and manipulatingwomen into getting early matches
so they remained engaged. Yo, this is psychological
warfare. This is the AI that they were
warning you about. This is this is it right here,
buddies. Lock in, lock in 'cause that's a
(05:08):
lot of swiping. There is this post I saw, I
think it was on Reddit to be quite honest, but it was this
dude and it was like he did a certain amount of like swiping
on like dating apps and dude, itwas like a diagram to show how
many successful swipes he had. He swiped like over like a
million. Like bro was like averaging at
(05:30):
like 23 swipes an hour or some shit.
And people were like bro, maybe if you invest some time into
you, you could run into somebodyonce you have a hobby.
The other than just swiping because I feel like mother
fucker was on like the bus or out walking or doing whatever
you do right. Grocery store bro was so like he
didn't make sure you get his 2325 non matches and 25 swipes
(05:54):
of nothing because he didn't gethe only got 1 match or out of
yeah, one match out of all of those.
And he just wasn't probably paying attention to the world
around him. And I wouldn't be surprised if
that is what's going on too withthis girl.
But yeah, I did not know. I mean, we know about an
algorithm, blah, blah, blah, right?
(06:16):
That's social media. That's any type of electronic
device that can be used for research purposes, right?
Even when it comes to using Google or any, hell, even
autocorrect, it already knows like based off of how you're
formatting your sentence, what the next words going to be based
on the algorithm you fed it, of trending, of how you talk.
(06:40):
I hope you're following me, bestie.
But let's see, let's see if OP said anything.
And he said, yeah, that's a goodpoint.
Their name is fluid experience. I'm really proud of them.
Their account has been suspended.
I can't even, oh, I, I click it and it just says account
suspended. I can't even open the thing.
So yeah, I don't think everybodysucks here.
(07:04):
I want to be quite honest. I think OP is just too good of a
friend for the 19 year old female that has body dysmorphia.
So yeah, let's open the package.Let's see.
Let's see what's in it. Let's do this one.
(07:28):
You ready? Oh, I was like, I'm not going to
get that far. I don't have a knife.
I got an exacto knife. These things are really sharp.
But ask an adult for supervisionto use one of these.
OK, let's see. Cutaway, cutaway, cutaway.
(07:48):
Ladies and gentlemen, let's see.Let's see.
See that right there? I got a bug bite.
You see these bug bites? There's a there's a little
mosquito in here. Little mosquito.
OK, I'm going to open it down here, not because I'm going to
just like throw something weird in it or get out something
that's embarrassing. It's because there's a little
package slip that has the littlething called a, a dress and we
(08:11):
don't need that. Let's see if I can.
So there are multiple items in here.
More than multiple. This is absolutely beautiful.
I am overwhelmed, ladies and gentlemen.
Do you hear that? You hear that?
(08:32):
I think. Do you hear that ringing?
Hello. Look at her eyes.
These are squirmles, but they'reknock off squirmles because
they're called litutor. My worms too.
Very crazy. ASMR.
(08:53):
It's like the most chaotic, likeASMR experience you can have is,
ladies and gentlemen, Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You see that rainbow one? They gave me a rainbow one.
They're not supposed to come with rainbow.
Oh, OK, so funny story. I know why they gave me a little
rainbow one. So the rainbow one is one of the
most expensive ones to get, right?
(09:14):
I bought over, I think 75% of their store.
OK, so for those that don't knowwhat a squirmal is, or I'm
sorry, for legal purposes, a pipe worm with googly eyes.
It's one of these guys. This is one of my original He's
(09:34):
my accountants. We have to talk specifically
every April, right before tax day.
He lets me know what we can get away with.
My he's my bestie. Let's let's, let's let him chill
with us for a little bit while we open our brick of worms.
(09:58):
OK, got worms, I got worms. OK, so you're wondering what the
hell are you doing tired with all these stupid ass pipe
cleaners? I'm going to snort them all.
Oh man, I just know that's so loud in the mic.
Oh baby my hot. My whole room echoed on that
(10:20):
one. Look at this little fella.
Look at this little guy. He got, he got a curly friendly
tail. He's just a baby.
He is awesome. He got the of course with the
googly eyes. And yeah, I was not expecting
them to just give me one for free.
They're probably finally the autistic people got their
(10:43):
paycheck. It's been years ever since
COVID. They hide inside now, but
probably anyways, why you got somany?
So I'm going to a convention in August called San Japan, and
this is going to be a part of our Gato gang.
(11:06):
Fellas, buckle up, you got worms.
Because we're the Gato gang. This is our little last brain
cell. These are our parasites and I'm
gonna make little key chains andthey're gonna have names and
personalities. So if you see me, they're by the
way, they're fucking free. So yeah, if you want lunch,
(11:31):
comment down below. And if you comment too late, I
will tell you. I'm sorry, but no, this is this
is what it's gonna be. I am like literally so shocked.
I got the color ones. Anyways, let's see some more.
Oh, there's some with the stripes.
There's some stripe boys. We got a yellow.
(11:53):
This is just a squirmal review. Get ready with me while I unbox
my 240 count squirmals. Wait, redacted squirmal pipe
cleaners with googly eyes. But we have yellow, red, pink,
turquoise, purple, orange, green, and then striped friends.
They all have googly eyes. They all look very well made.
(12:16):
Not a fan of them being all still putting the individual
packages. This is gonna be a lot of work.
I have over 1000 to make until August 28th.
Wish me luck, Bestie. So you know what time it is.
OK, I'm gonna go ahead and put these away because what the fuck
(12:39):
if you're not knowing what the Hell's going on?
Just just come back and view it,view whatever the hell we just
looked at. And for those that also don't
know, what scrambles are you like feed them through your
hands. I can't do it anymore.
When I was in elementary school,I used to like do it all the
time. Like, whoa, bro, Oh, I'm a cool
(13:00):
kid. I was extremely not liked, but I
had all the cool fidgets, bro, Ihad all the cool fidgets.
Yes. Like, might have been a weird,
overweight elementary school kid, but I fucking had the the
toys, OK? I had the fucking shits.
They can't deny that, OK. And it just feels so satisfying.
(13:23):
Like, excuse me, excuse me. But yeah, we're going to take
over the world. Me and these worms.
You and these worms here, here, here, here, here.
Let's go ahead and put this little fella next to each other.
OK, Let's get the next story forthe next item in this package.
(13:51):
Or hold on, let me see what's inthis package real quick.
I'm having my own little Patty moment here.
See Patty right here. I just need to, I need to make a
giant scramble for my outfit of San Japan.
Amazing idea. Well, that's that's what's in
(14:13):
the package other than these. I know those aren't nerds.
I wish very expensive nerds if they would be, but they're just
the the coil ends, because I'm going to like glue the the noses
the little schnauzers to some like this little metal coil so
(14:35):
they can attach the key ring. You want to see what they look
like? Of course, of course I hear you,
I hear you calm down. I'm getting there bestie.
Hold on, hold on. I'm trying to do it.
I'm trying to go so fast, but I got that bag on me.
You see that shit just little little quails.
I spent an hour and a half trying to fucking measure these
right for this little worm face,the little schnauzer to get the
(14:57):
schnauzer right. I'm so sorry for listening to
this without headphones. Just know that I'm proud of you,
I love you and and can I get a hold of you?
OK, So yeah, that's what that is.
Fan fucking tastic. Let's go ahead and put these
(15:20):
down. I'm gonna get rid of this giant
cardboard thing over my head that I'm sure the mic was just
lovingly picking up every crinkle of.
And we will open the next package after this story titled
Am I the asshole for letting my sister go thirsty through an
entire meal? Is your sister like not able to
(15:44):
live on her own? Because other than that it's not
your responsibility bud. I'm like the fuck anyways next
door and I was kidding. This kidding?
OK, My sister does this thing where she'll just say something
she wants with the expectation that someone will do it for her.
For example, she wants the AC turned on instead of asking
(16:07):
someone to turn it on for her. She'll keep repeating things
like oh isn't it super warm in here?
Oh she's passive. She I'm sorry she's a little
bitch and I heard that today's asuper hot day and if someone
asks her if she wants the AC on she'll reply with no no I'm good
but if you're hot then you should turn it on.
(16:29):
Girl has a lot to face growing up.
She has a long long life ahead of her.
ANYWAYS, last weekend it was my birthday so my family and I went
out to celebrate. I wonder what she did to hmm.
My mom lets me eat birthday cake.
I bet you that's what that bitchwill say.
(16:50):
I'm telling you, I'm telling youdude.
OK, here we go. Let's see.
Let's see, let's see. Anyways, last birthday.
Last birthday. Last weekend it was my birthday
so my family and I went out to celebrate.
During the meal she kept making comments implying that she
wanted another cocktail but wouldn't order it.
Sorry you can't speak up for yourself.
You, you snooze. You lose bitch.
(17:11):
OK the waitress even came by andasked if we needed anything but
she didn't order a drink even when we all did.
I could tell she was agitated atthat point but it was my
birthday so I just ignored her. Not everyone's going to save
you. Get what you need to get.
The fuck so weird. Either she has like a money
(17:32):
thing, like is she expected to pay for these and so that's why
she's not doing it. And so she doesn't want to like,
feel obligated to pay if someoneoffers it to her.
Or because it doesn't seem like the parents were abusive because
like, if they're abusive, you wouldn't have even like went out
drinking with your family. Alcohol kind of brings up some
(17:54):
of those conversations, right? OK, when we all got home she got
really snippy and said that it was super rude that we all got
our own drinks and didn't order one for her.
My brother and I brought up thatshe said no when the waitress
asked but she said she that wasn't the issue.
In her opinion we should have known to order her a drink too
because everyone else got one and the fact that we let her go
(18:17):
thirsty was inconsiderable and that in the future we ought to
order her drinks too. She also said that she was only
saying no to the waitress because her family should taking
care of her. Her words, not mine.
What the hell dude? What type of entitled ass
bullshit is going on here? Lost words, Let's finish this.
(18:43):
The three of us have been kind of arguing back and forth about
it. Just stop entertaining it.
And I'm just tired of all the fighting so I wanted to get some
more opinions on whether or not I should have ordered her a
drink as well. Man, does she have any ex
boyfriends? Oh my God, dude.
I want to, I want to talk to them.
I want to know. I want to know been like he's
(19:06):
like, you should have known I wanted to come.
Oh no dude. Oh no.
OK, tough comment. Not the asshole.
I think it would actually be considered rude to order someone
another cocktail after they specifically told the waitress
no. Correct.
Because it's literally like a non consensual like drink at
(19:29):
that point. Like you said no.
So she's literally like I'm going to say no but that means
yes. What?
I can't do with that? Like what are we kindergarten?
Anyways? If I say I'm not drinking
anymore but someone orders me another drink anyway, I would be
annoyed that they decided they knew better about my alcoholic
consumption than I did. And I agree.
(19:50):
But next time I dined with that sister I would ask for a pitcher
of water to be put in front of her.
Yep and another comment also, ifOP or their brother should have
ordered her a drink because family takes care of each other,
shouldn't she be ordering the drink for other people?
Yo the perspective of this one. That is very true.
(20:14):
Because what's like do you want them to fucking finger feed you?
Let me let me reword this. Would you like your family to
feed you grapes while you lay down?
Like are you a goddamn Princess?Even if you're a Princess?
It's 2025. Not any Princess is treated like
(20:34):
that. What the fuck?
OK, and if you were that fancy, you wouldn't be out at a place
where the server would ask you questions.
It would be so fancy that you already pre-ordered beforehand.
And if you know, you know. And if you don't, that's because
it's she she wants Princess treatment in a false reality.
OK, yeah, this this whole story is very silly.
(20:57):
I don't think there are any moreunique comments.
I mean, don't get me wrong, everybody has a good take, but
it's just everyone thinks that the the sister needs to, I don't
know, get therapy because I, I don't even understand how
someone can be raised this way. I'm telling you, I, I think it
(21:20):
was just like a past ex, like boyfriend or something that just
Opie has no comments, no other posts, no overview anyways.
But I think that she just had like a really traumatizing
experience with like a boyfriendor something.
Or she like completely put herself on a pedestal because of
some like anime or TV show she decided to watch and she took on
(21:41):
that personality. And that's fairly common.
So unfortunately, it's fairly common.
So there's that story. Let's all take a moment and be
happy that we don't have a sister like that in our lives.
And if you do have a sister likethat in your lives, let's take a
moment and do some retail therapy box #2 let's see, let's
(22:04):
see, let's see, let's see what the Hell's in this motherfucking
box. OK, let's see.
Perfect moment for me to do ASMR, but I'm absolutely ruining
it. And you also shouldn't be
falling asleep to these videos. I yell randomly too much.
So that's that's unfortunate. Chat, are we cooked?
(22:33):
Chat, are we cooked? Brother in Christ, not only Are
you ready for this, I don't evenknow what to say.
(22:56):
We're going to take over the world with these worms.
OK, so we have 1. So this is a pack of 646464
fuzzy worm babies. Pack one.
I wish I'd like a place like putit without it like anyway, so I
(23:17):
don't have a place because you see all this stuff back here.
There's no room 234. Hey, count with me. 5 Oh, we're
getting on camera. We're getting on camera.
What comes after five? No, not that number six.
(23:41):
There you go. Oh, oh, oh.
I don't even know how it's balancing.
This is like really crazy. 7 Hold on focusing.
I'm hyper focusing what comes after 7 or why was 6 afraid to
seven? Because 7-8.
(24:03):
Oh, I didn't think I'd get this far.
Actually, I don't have any more than eight.
I thought I had 9. Oops.
That's embarrassing. But do you see this?
Oh my God. Oh my God.
Get yourself some worms. You got worms.
I got all the worms now do you see why they gave me the free
(24:26):
rainbow one? If you want one, just be a part
of the Gato gang. Get your cat worms, bro.
Get your worms. Get that drip.
But I'm very proud. I'm honestly proud of myself,
but not proud of my goddamn bankfor not asking me to verify this
(24:48):
fucking purchase. I spent a lot of money on these
worms, OK? Not one, so they say.
Did you try to spend $300 on what?
What is this called? Lee Tutor 64 piece fuzzy worms
for Kit Kat 8 colours made in China.
Nothing. It just showed up at my God damn
(25:11):
God damn door. OK now I'm going to throw these
down. Now please excuse me in my
worms. OK, I do have two more packages.
I actually have no goddamn idea what the fuck's in it.
Oh, wait, no, no, real quick, I have the Super glue.
(25:33):
Super glue. Because remember, kids, we're
putting the schnauzers on those little hooks with the little
glue. OK, thanks for following.
Let's go ahead and do our last two stories.
I'm not going to read that one because I don't want a title
that aggressive. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm oh am I the
(25:56):
asshole for not going to my twins wedding?
Let's read it. I, 24 male, have an identical
twin. We're not close but I thought we
had basic mutual respect. That belief was tested.
I grew up in a traditional southern town and only began
coming out in college about fiveyears ago.
(26:17):
It's been slow, especially with my family, but since moving to
DC in 23 for school and work, I felt more comfortable living
authentically. Cool.
Yeah, Hell yeah. Live your life, buddy.
After moving, I met my boyfriend, 26, male, and we've
been together for two years. Fuck yeah.
Over time, I've introduced him to friends and family when I
felt safe. As you should, King, as you
(26:40):
should. Cut to November 24.
I was home for the holidays and told my twin and his fiance
about my boyfriend's Fuck yeah. They seem happy for me.
While staying with them, weddingdetails arose and they asked if
I'd be bringing a date. I said yeah, my boyfriend's, my
twin had gone to bed. But his fiance said while there
are pros and cons, it's up to you if you want to bring him.
(27:05):
What, you're afraid that my his boyfriend's gonna fuck him
better than you fuck his sister?Like the hell?
What is going on? OK, that felt like a green
light. My twin constantly deferred to
her on decisions, so I don't think I needed to double check.
Also, I'm sorry, forgetting all these genders mixed up.
There's too many people going onand you can be a twin.
(27:26):
I know I probably already said it.
OK, I probably already said it, so hold on.
Let's see. I because of what?
Fiance? Because with two ES, it's both
male and female, right? Right, right.
Let me look that up. Let me look that up.
Too many damn names these days. Let's see.
(27:52):
So with 1E it means man. So that is his.
He has a twin and the twin is a male and his twin.
OK gotcha gotcha. So the only reason the fiance
the girl is butt hurt is becauseshe knows that she knows that
(28:20):
her fiance's are going to get better Dick than not.
I hope you're following me. I hope you're following me.
I hope you understand my joke. This hurts.
It's so hard trying to explain Ican barely story tell.
That's why I talk to stuffed animals and have worms.
OK, And yes, if if you're only listening to this one, I have
(28:41):
over 1000 squirmals that I just showed on camera that I ordered.
That's what's going on. OK, anyways, let's continue.
That felt like a green light. My twin constantly deferred to
her on decisions, so I didn't think I needed to double check.
Five months passed. My boyfriend and I had spent 1.3
K on travel. Three weeks before the wedding,
I mentioned on a call with my brother that we were all set.
(29:03):
His tone shifted. Sorry, I got, I got a Neopet and
I got I got this little what thehell?
1 Neopet's connected to my wires.
I got this little fella right here.
She is just blocking the way. She's a cutie, but she is just
blocking the way. Let's let's put her, let's put
her right here. She deserves to be seen.
(29:24):
Excuse me, guys. Excuse me, fellows.
Thank you. OK, let's continue.
Oh, is the boyfriend actually coming?
I reminded him of the combo withhis fiance.
He said she never gave me permission and accused me of
making it up. What the fuck?
Does she live in a fairy land? Is she stuck in Nazi Germany?
(29:48):
Like why is she thinking that people are making it up that
they're gay? The fuck bro?
Is she making that up? Is that her justification?
OK, then said we can't allow. Oh, not yeah, yeah, we can't
allow your boyfriend to come. We worry how Dad's side will
(30:10):
react. Nah, bitch, you don't give a
fuck. At least we know the apples
don't fall far from the tree on that side.
And we know who didn't hang out with Dad that much.
I offered to call dad on the spots he dodged, saying he
checked with his fiance despite just saying it was his decision.
An hour later, no change. I was still invited alone, still
(30:30):
expected to buy a groomsman match suiting even though I
wasn't in the party, and show upsmiling.
So fucking nasty bro. You cannot treat a family member
like an item. Like a prop.
The fuck? That's when I snapped.
I asked if I didn't invite your fiance to my wedding, would you
still come? You couldn't answer and ended
the call after some harsh words.There's your answer bro.
(30:52):
You don't have to have them answer to have an answer.
You hear me bestie? OK, trying to make things right,
I came out to my dad, which I feared for years, to explain the
situation. He was surprisingly indifferent
and even said uninviting. My boyfriend was extreme.
He offered to talk to extended family.
(31:13):
I thought I was removing the main obstacle.
Yeah, you were you. You asked a question, they
answered. And if this truly wasn't their
answer, they got caught fucking lying.
So I should tell you even more. Tell you even more, two weeks
later, my twin called again. He now claimed our friends would
be weirded out. So the excuse shifted.
I said it's my boyfriend's not invited, I'm not coming.
(31:37):
He didn't budget. Excuse me guys, I have a knock
at the door. I wonder if you hear that?
Let's take care of this little knock at the door real quick.
Give me one second. Would you like to say hi to
everyone? Come on.
(31:57):
You want to say hello? Come on.
Alrighty. The friend at the door is right
here. She's here to inspect all the
packages I just opened. She smelt all the foreign items.
She smelt the Chinese governmentat my doorstep.
This is Lucy. She is my TSA, she is my
(32:20):
inspector. Anytime I come home with
groceries, she makes sure no bombs were left in.
Anytime I buy 1000 squirmals, little pipe cleaners with googly
eyes, she will inspect to make sure that they are safe for our
consuming and leisure. So go ahead and say thank you
Lucy. Right.
We all say that in unison. Let's try it again.
(32:40):
Thank you Lucy. All righty, I'm going to let her
get to work. OK, let's continue the story.
Here's the kicker. Days later my dad told me the
fiance admitted she did not giveme permission but changed her
mind when she remembered who would be there.
She denied this to my twin. Also, one of her bridesmaids is
(33:03):
openly gay and brought her girlfriend, but according to the
fiance she was not part of the family so it's different.
So I didn't go. I'm still wondering if I made
the wrong call. My abstinence was noticed.
I got test text asking where I was.
My mom had explained it repeatedly.
So instead of avoiding attention, my absence became the
story. I mean, that's what happens when
(33:27):
you marry shitty people. My relationship with my twin is
dead and some family ties are now fragile.
Part of me wonders, should I have sucked it up and gone solo
just to preserve bonds that shaped my early life?
So. And when they asshole for
skipping the wedding, you literally were told like the
fuck dog, like they're literallygetting married.
They know that like it's a bond,right, like a relationship,
(33:50):
because that's that's why you date.
You want to eventually get married, this whole purpose of
dating. So see, she agrees.
Did you hear that Lucy agreed with us?
So like you're expecting anotherperson to just.
Separate. For a, a wedding like what?
Like not like completely separate, but you know what I
(34:10):
mean? Like being seen, you know, being
seen together at such a vulnerable reception.
So stop comments. You came out to your dad, got
gas lit by your twin, got lied to by the fiance and still tried
to make peace. You did more than enough.
They chose drama, not you. Correct.
Hi, sorry we got a Lucy here just inspecting.
(34:31):
She is just so happy right now. I'm going to take my little
mouse from her because we don't need.
No we don't. We don't need no random clicking
here and he hasn't even asked tobe part of the bridal party.
I think his relationship was dead long ago or am I wrong?
I completely agree. Happy to see the true colours of
(34:55):
this twin because that's absolutely disgusting.
Fiance is just mad that she got showing her true colors.
Let's be fucking real. Let's be fucking real.
I am scrolling right now for thelast story.
(35:15):
Not a fan of many of. These.
Oh no. Oh my.
Gosh, she's eating the squirmal.Get it out of your mouth.
Holy crap, why would you do that?
Why my goodness, she almost ate our limited.
You have worms now. You have limited edition rainbow
(35:38):
worms in your system Now, lady, we're going to remove this
string because my cat will destroy it and consume it.
She will eat it and this will cost more than the Squirmles, so
that's not going to fucking happen.
(35:59):
Let's go ahead and read the laststory.
I'm still looking. Let's see, let's see, let's see,
let's see. But.
I'm not reading that. Oh my gosh, there's no good
ones. Emma the asshole for asking why
(36:28):
they ignored the no dog sign. I, 33 male, went to a coffee
shop this past weekend. As soon as I open the door I'm
hit with a dog looking at me at hip level sitting on a chair in
the small shop. The dog is indoors and the door
had a clear no pet sign. I watched for a second.
So this clearly wasn't a serviceanimal as she was letting it
(36:49):
interact with several other guests.
I asked her why she ignored the no pets sign.
She ignores me. I asked her did you miss the no
pets sign? She immediately says I think you
should stop harassing me. That's not harassment ma'am.
What the hell are you on about? All I was doing was asking why
(37:11):
she ignored the no pet sign. This lady played the victim and
called me an asshole. Another Patreon steps up for her
and the dude says why is it an issue?
Because it's extremely fucking illegal to have animals and a
consumable food environment in America.
Who cares? Tells me that I need to not be
(37:33):
an asshole and drop it. I weave the guy off telling my
care and I don't like dogs. I say it's not hard to not bring
your dog into a coffee shop thatdoesn't allow dogs.
Correct. By that point it's my time to
order. I complained to the employee who
didn't seem interested in enforcing anything the owner
left on her own. Am I the asshole?
No, because these are the same motherfuckers that if you walk
(37:54):
in with a motherfucking gun, that's I mean like obviously
walking again, That's like that's such an aggressive way to
put it, but it's you know how they have concealed carry, but
it says like no, you can't bringa gun in and has like the 50
whatever 5050 rule or what? I forgot what it says, but it's
basically if there's like a bar,you can't have a gun in the
establishment. These motherfuckers be like mom,
(38:17):
I need to, even though they're probably grown and dull.
So they'll be like, I can't believe if you brought a gun
into the establishment, Oh my goodness gracious, you need to
hide it. Like they if somebody came in
without like it concealed, they would have a mental breakdown.
The sign says this like Nah, bitch.
It's not that you don't care because it's a dog.
(38:39):
It's just because you want to doyour motherfucking way.
And I don't know about you, but I think Opie said this was a
coffee shop and not fucking Burger King.
You can't have it your way bitch.
That's how it goes. That's how it goes.
And top comment on this one. I'm going against the grain and
will probably be downvoted, but mostly not the asshole.
What do you mean against the grain?
(39:01):
What do you mean against the grain?
Oh boy. But these comments are a war
fire hell zone. But mostly not the asshole.
The way you asked her way repeatedly was weird.
She's not going to have an answer or respond well to that.
But you weren't wrong for calling her out for having a dog
in a restaurant that clearly doesn't allow them.
Nothing's weird with repeating yourself to somebody that
(39:24):
decides to ignore you. Sorry.
It's called putting the fucking pressure down, especially if
somebody's violating a policy. Like the fuck?
Hello, I personally have asked for the manager and pushed them
to do something. I say this is a huge animal
person. It's a lot outrageous how many
(39:45):
pet owners feel entitled to ignore rules because they think
their pet is special. Like those people at fucking
Costco that put it in the goddamn kid seats in the front
of the shopping cart and they let the fucker piss and shit.
And no, it doesn't go directly on the floor, it goes to the
fucking grading. OK, I'm traumatized, I shouldn't
(40:05):
be able to smell your dog's pissand shit when I'm trying to
enjoy Costco's new limited edition MetLife motherfucking
chocolate chip protein shake. OK, because I'm not going to
spend $48948.99 on a 25 counts without trying it first.
But now all I can taste is dog shits because of your dog that
(40:27):
shouldn't even be here. What the fuck?
I know you're not that lonely. I know you used to have kids and
you're a grandma now and everybody forgot about you.
So that's why you need to bring your dog everywhere.
Because then you know exactly that's why.
Leave your kids home. Make grocery stores.
Grocery stores again. Oh, man.
(40:50):
Oh, my God. I don't get it.
I I really don't get it. And I'm a huge cat person, but I
don't. Yes, I've brought my cat to the
beach before. Yeah, So what, There's no no cat
signs at the beach. I pay extra for the hotel to
accommodate my animals. I pay the pet fee.
OK, all right, you know what youpay nothing other than making
(41:14):
them fucking put whipped cream in a little cup because pup
cups, which are adorable, but not at a place where I'm over
here. Like assuming that this lady did
all sorry I'm petting my cat down here.
She's really happy. She likes it when I yell at
screens. She's a big fan of that.
She is a very big fan of that. Also, it's usually legal to have
(41:38):
non service animals inside blah blah blah.
And I can go down an amazing, fun little story about fake
service animals and the fake licensing you can buy online,
which is such a joke because a lot of these people get the fake
ones not only because they want to have excuses to just bring
their animal in anywhere. It causes a health hazard for
(42:00):
other animals around that are actually service dogs that go
through the excruciating training and the time and the
investment and the money that goes into service animals.
And you're like, well, Tiger Gato, but So what?
What? No, because if you're having to
get to the fake one, you don't know if your if your pets
actually updated on their, all their vaccines.
(42:22):
So you're imposing also a healthdanger for these animals that
have a lot of money, time and investment into them for actual
health issues. Get the fuck out of here.
It's like, it's like when you would go to school, you know,
back when we used to go to school, right, You need to go to
the doctor's office or the the nurse's office.
Sorry, my bad. Actually with the doctor in this
economy, hell no, the nurse's office at your school and there
(42:45):
were no motherfucking beds because everybody like half of
the people just didn't want to be in goddamn class.
Like and then you're over here like damn, I'm about to vomit.
Like I'm about to like mommy, I threw up.
You can't threw up in a safe little bed because everybody
else grew up with air quotationswhen no, you probably just
partied too hard the night before.
(43:06):
Or you took the pill that some random person gave you because
public school and you fucked it for everyone else.
Your bad decisions. Does that make it to where you
make other people's lives worse because you're taking up
resources being dumb? Stop it.
OK, let's see if OP said anything.
(43:27):
Their name is Lobach 3O8. I chose to say something because
I could not to protect the business.
Don't care about the business. I don't want to be around dogs
bro. Just don't want a fucking dog
and they should have to explain that like the hell.
My situation was in Manhattan Beach.
Sounds like the places you post about are breaking the law and
health code. Yo, OP went into somebody's
(43:48):
fucking ready to count and fucking coded their asses.
Hell yeah. Let's see.
Let's see. Hold on, I'm going to get a
little. Little water break on this one.
OK, where are we at? We're at. 43 minutes.
OK, let's do this. Let's do this last one.
(44:09):
You most likely don't live in a dog friendly city.
Oh, by the way, this is just somebody commenting, right?
You most likely don't live in a dog friendly city with
incompetent government. It's down a dozen here and this
is one of the largest cities in the US.
I've also seen this elsewhere. It's not just the US thing and
happens in other countries too. Another person replied saying
that they live in Los Angeles. It's very dog friendly and they
go back-to-back to back and they're like just talking about
(44:32):
it, right? And then that's when Opie says
my situation was in Manhattan Park.
Sounds like the places you post about are breaking the law and
health code. And they go maybe, maybe I was
like, bitch, they got your ass. Shut up.
Just say OK, yeah, fair. Got me.
What, like countability, bud? Countability.
And they're saying it's not really a health code violation
(44:53):
specifically, and it's not a lotto prevent dogs from entering
shops. What?
How is that not a health code violation?
Hold on, Hold on. Let's let's do a little
research. I'm gonna, I'm gonna pull up a
little something. Something.
I got cat hair all over my face like it is tickling my brains,
(45:13):
bro. And not in a romantic way.
Hold on, Hold on, hold on. Health code violation for dogs
and shop. So it is in Texas.
(45:34):
Of course it pulled up Texas because, shocker, I'm in Texas.
Yeah. Land of the oil and free.
So they're in Manhattan Beach. Where is that?
That's part of New York. But you never know these days.
Everybody has like, everybody has like a city name from a
different city. Nowadays.
I'm like brother, like I can't even keep up with my own fucking
(45:56):
trees. Why do they have to be called
other places like that that? See, it's in fucking.
California, bro, man. Oh my God.
Oh my God. See, exactly.
That's why you guys always check.
Always check. OK, so Manhattan Beach in
California. Well, that's your issue, OP.
You're in California. You got the boohoo cry babies.
You got the you. You got the you, you, you got
(46:22):
them in there. Let's see.
Let's see. So California dog and restaurant
law, apparently it's a top searched item and California
dogs are generally not allowed in restaurants with a few
exceptions. Service animals as defined by
the ADA are permitted in all areas, correct?
(46:42):
Correct. Let's see.
Let's see. Let's see.
And yes, restaurant staff cannotask for paperwork, blah, blah,
blah. Mr. Freeman, you know what I
mean? Here we are.
This is what I'm talking about. We got a what is it?
A what do you call these little guys?
A safety code. It's called 114259.5.
(47:06):
Write that down, chat. OK, It's W annotated California
codes Health and safety code Environmental health part 7
California retail Food code chapter 8 physical facilities
Article 6 Furman and animals, live animals last check
September 2024 and this post was27 days ago.
All right, so we're in a correctupdated.
(47:31):
Article. Let's read it.
Summary and in 2014, California added amendments to its law on
live animals in the retail food code related to pet dogs and
outdoor dining areas if outdoor.If a food establishment.
Owner allows it. Patreons may bring their pet
(47:52):
dogs to an outdoor dining area if requirements are met.
So damn, if they had to write something like this to verify if
like they can go outside inside of a cafe.
Like bitch the it's not math then the math's not math.
Then if they had to freaking update this code to reiterate
even dogs outside sitting, what's that telling you?
Anyways, let's keep reading it. Let's see.
(48:17):
Except as specified in this section, live animals may not be
allowed in a food facility B live animals.
This isn't multiple choice by the way.
This is just how they write laws.
They they put it in segments. I'll take a for 500 live animal
cruelty Tired got to live animals may be allowed in any of
the following situations if the contamination of food, clean
(48:39):
equipment, utensils, linens and unwrapped single use articles
cannot result. And they even said that the dog
was sitting in a chair like right there, right then and
there. Like that means you have access
to a table because chairs aren'tjust in front of nothing.
They're in front of motherfucking tables.
Because if you're at a coffee shop, you got to sit down and
what do you do? Have a table in front of you and
how you can eat your croissant with your goddamn hot chalky
(48:59):
milk that you're hiding in a cupand you're going to say it's a
mocha triple shot because you want to people to remember that
you're an adult, right? But in reality, you're just a
little kid that wants your hot chalky milk with your ham and
cheese croissant, huh? And that's OK, right?
So don't tell me this dog isn't in reach of everybody else's
(49:20):
croissant and my hot chalky milk.
So live animals may be allowed in any of the following
situations of the contamination of food.
Clean equipment, utensils, linens and unwrapped single use
articles cannot result in one edible fish or decorative.
What fish you can do fish What do you do about fish,
crustaceans, ice. Oh, we're talking about because
that is, I know you all heard about the, the, the, that one
(49:45):
food market that would. Abandoned.
And they sold like fish productsand it's like a huge biohazard
because these things go fucking crazy without the correct
temperatures. It's death.
Like the kid that also eat like.Leftover like Chinese food, the
stir fry rice and they like diedafter 24 hours.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, Oh my God I will
I will read that story just let me know.
(50:06):
Just let me know are two animalsintended for consumption at the
live animals are kept separate from all food and utensils hand
dealing areas. Oh they're talking about like
the actual cattle. Like I'm telling you this is a
big ass like big ass like document.
It's about like the food, the animals, if they're life
slaughtered or not. OK, so basically what?
(50:33):
We're getting from this is fuck now get the fuck out.
Oh man. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Oh my God. Six months ago we have a Reddit
post. Let me try to pull this one up.
Let me see if I can pull this one up.
It says dogs in the restaurant. Let me just let me just read it
(50:55):
real quick. OK, OK, Dogs in the restaurant.
I'm in California where dogs arenot permitted in restaurants
unless they are serviced. Animal dogs, not emotional
support animals. And the emotional support
animals are those fucking fake documents that I was talking
about earlier where you can cause contamination of illnesses
and stuff, Right. OK, bad safety issues.
Bad safety issues. OK.
The penalty is $261.00 per infraction.
(51:17):
We have an outdoor patio. Oh they're also talking about
the outside shit. I love dogs but I really don't
want them in the restaurant unless it's truly a service dog.
How do you handle customers withdogs at your establishment?
And top comment just assuming it's California quote.
Dogs are not permitted in restaurants unless they are
service dogs in California. Misrepresenting a dog as a
service animal can result in a misdemeanor potentially carrying
(51:40):
a fine of up to 1K and six months in jail.
Well, dogs are generally not allowed outdoor patio areas
under certain specific conditions.
And that was that giant like 25 page like document that I was
trying to go through. Then I decided not to for the
sake of you and I sanity of realizing that O PS Not wrong.
(52:03):
Yeah, that's insane. But OK, let's open the last
package. Let's see what's in it.
Let's see what's in it. Well.
There's 2. There's two packages, OK, and
I'm pretty sure they're the sameexact goddamn thing because
sometimes Amazon is efficient but not or like they fucking
(52:25):
just put a sticker on the original box.
Like bro, why do you let everybody know?
I just got like a phone screen for the brand new fucking
Samsung just sitting out on my fucking porch like banks Bezos.
Hold on, let's see. Oh, ladies and gentlemen.
(52:47):
It's more springs, it's more springs, and I'm pretty sure
it's even more springs than thisone.
How entertaining and. Exciting for those that forgot,
it's OK because bestie be like that with the little springs.
(53:08):
So they're these little guys andI'm going to hook them onto the
nose with the Super glue and yeah, I'm going to make a bunch
of them and they're going to be really exciting.
They're going to be the got to agang.
It's going to be our last brain cell on a freaking charm.
So cute, so cute because growingup I always had one in my
pocket. And I want you to also always
have one. It's a reminder that you're not
(53:31):
alone, Bestie. OK, It's like, shit sucks, but
damn, you got a worm. You can't get upset about that.
How are you going to cry and have a crisis when you got a
worm over here judging you? Like that's that really puts
things in perspective. You're like, damn, I got a worm.
That's like making fun of me right now.
I'm so happy to have this worm because I was kind of being
(53:51):
silly right there, huh? OK, well, that's that for this
episode. I'm happy to talk to you again.
I'm sorry, I've been so fucking.I'm like currently like in a
rush. I'm making a studio set right
now, making a handmade dress, painting chairs.
I'm making a giant ass plinko board that we're going to play
(54:13):
with. I'm going to have a cat mailbox
because we're going to have sleepy mail time where we're
going to have all these little characters.
We're going to. I'm hitting my hand, by the way,
for my audio listeners that are watching this right now because
I get things are busy. Keep your eyes on the road, OK?
I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you.
Keep using your turn signal, OK?Even if there's nobody behind
(54:33):
you, because we don't want to fall into bad habits.
You heard me. OK, But you know, there's a lot
of shit going on. The same Japan event that's
happening. When is it?
So last week of August, August 29th to the 31st, I will be
there. I have a super awesome surprise
with Whataburger. I don't know if you know
(54:54):
Whataburger is, but San Japan isa convention that's been going
for like 17 years, I believe 1417 years, something like that
for a fucking long time. And it's called San Japan
because I live in San Antonio. So San Japan, it's a mixture of
the cultures and everything. And I have a fun little thing
with Whataburger, which is a really nice restaurant.
(55:16):
I call it a restaurant. Just kidding.
It's McDonald's for Texans in the best way possible.
It's fucking amazing. Yes.
It's hit or miss sometimes, depending on your location.
That's why you have reviews, Google reviews, Apple reviews.
Look at that. It's just like any other place.
You go buy food, you make sure you pick the right one, right?
OK, but we're working together. They promoted me for something
(55:37):
really fun. I will show you guys what that's
about, but I'm not going to let you guys know because people all
can be weird and try to do this thing called copycat and we're
not doing that because even if they, well, I mean, even if they
would copycat, they wouldn't have the official water burger
like sponsorship of it, literally.
(56:00):
But yeah, I'm really excited about that.
I'm also working on my set. I'm hoping to get the first
episode out August 1st. That's my goal.
I already have the theme song out.
It's going to be like a Mr. Rogers Adult Swim nostalgia show
like this where I talk to you. It's still going to be me that
(56:21):
like I am the character. I am me.
I am tired Gato. I will always just be who I am.
But we're going to have like bitmore structure.
We're not just going to be like Oompaville or moist critical,
just sitting in front of a webcam.
Not that anything is wrong with that.
It's just not what I want to be known for.
I want to be known for more thanjust sitting in a chair behind a
(56:45):
computer, which is going to be funny because I have a chair
that I'm going to be sitting in.But it's going to be like a
studio set. It's going to be like your
grandma's house that they loved you very much so they like
allowed you to like do the things you wanted.
It's kind of that type of style super.
Excited for it. It's still.
Going to be called tired. Got the talks.
(57:06):
I've spent so much God forsaken buckaroonies.
I could have bought all the Fortnite skins probably with how
much I've spent on this project.I've met a lot of amazing,
amazing people. I've had people hand craft the
the wall paints to match the Webkinz blue background.
(57:29):
Like there's so much lore and every single color I picked
every character that's going to be on it.
It's going to be the little stuffed animals we got little
Paddy. They're each going to have like
their own characteristic. We're going to have the wheel of
motherfucking Wow from Webkinz. We're going to have a fucking
Palenko board. The it's going to be Paddy the
platypus shaped. We're going to have a lot of
(57:50):
things. We also I've I have a vintage
old ass PC color blocked beautifully painted.
I've been spending way too much time on that as well.
Really excited and I hope you guys like that.
I just I'm ready to look. Back on this video and be like
you fucking did it. You remember when you were
(58:10):
sitting here and talking to the damn screen about waiting to see
how it looks and I still have 1000 motherfucking scramble key
chains I still have to make. And I'm going to be at San Japan
with that block colored dress onwith all these worms attached to
me. And I'm going to have a sign
saying got worms or talk to me about my worms and I'm going to
(58:32):
hand them out and like kind of aself promotion, but they're.
It's not, it's. More so so that people can put
them on their bags and they're like, where the fuck are y'all
getting these worms out? Like oh, the lady with the
colorful dress tired God. So because I want other people
to talk to each other and get toknow each other because there's
(58:53):
going to be like little tags on each of these worm key chains
that talk about like what their name is like I've made the whole
logo and it's going to be kind of like Webkinz Neopets like
type of style. Because I think we need to go
back to connecting with each other and making inaminate
objects have personalities. I've missed that era.
(59:14):
I think we were on to something good with that.
And yeah, we get to reflect who we are with our accessories and
whether it be. Another Patty.
Or another worm. Just know that it's still you
and you're the you're the motherof the proud father of your worm
(59:37):
or of your Patty or of your cat or your dog.
And don't forget you got purposebecause of that.
OK, whether you believe it or not.
But I think that's all for today.
Bestie, thank you so much for hanging out with me.
Sorry I've been gone and I wish you all the best.
(59:58):
And as always, let me get a little prepared because I I got
1000 worms on my feet right now.Let me move a couple things
over. We gotta we gotta end this
phone. Call so coming in for the boop.
Take care. Bye.
Well, I have a bunch of packagesI want to hold myself
accountable by not just opening them without you.
So that's what today is about. So we are going to be on the am
(00:34):
I the asshole community reading the top post of this month and
it's July, so July 2025 for those time travelling right now.
And that's for this package to be open.
So let's go ahead and read the first story.
Let's put them up here on on this little trove of platypuses.
(00:59):
I don't. That's gonna fall.
OK, there we go. Interesting noises for my audio
stemmers. It's OK.
I'm still proud of you. First story.
Am I the asshole for telling my friend she's in the same league
as men she calls ugly? I mean, equal rights, right?
(01:27):
OK, let's read it. Let's read it.
My friend. 19, female, downloaded dating apps like
Tinder and Hinge for the first time about a week ago.
We know how this is going to go.OK, for reference, she's a type
that always says she wants a boyfriend, wants to do a couple
things, feels lonely, single, etcetera.
(01:47):
She's also, in my opinion at least, very normal and average
looks wise. Not ugly, not super hot, just
all right. Since then she's been
complaining to me that almost all the men there are ugly
shorts, etcetera. Oh, we got the girl with the
(02:07):
minimum 6 feet. Is this what's going on?
And that she doesn't watch. She doesn't watch.
She doesn't watch or match with anybody hot.
I mean, everybody's like at about like 96°F.
So we're all slow roasting. OK, so we're all a little hot.
(02:28):
Yeah, take that with what you want.
I asked to see which people she was calling ugly, and so she
showed me her likes and it mostly showed people perfectly
in her league. Very nice way to put it, Sir.
OK, as in moderately attractive guys.
(02:49):
I told her that these guys were all in her league and she should
give some of them a chance sinceshe always complaints about
wanting to be in a relationship.Sounds like an honest friend to
be brother. Brother's probably Capricorn.
He probably puts it really blunt.
OK. She denied that she's the same
league as them and said that she's much more attractive than
(03:12):
them. I pointed out that in her own
words, she doesn't match with any of the guys she does find
attractive, so she's not in their league.
Bro literally went. You sure about that?
So she said I'm the asshole. Am I?
Yeah, you could be the asshole. But just because you're an
(03:34):
asshole doesn't mean you're not right.
So I think that's OK. Am I the asshole?
Yeah, mainly because she didn't ask for it that way.
And are you wrong? No, not, not at all.
Good job. I I'm sorry but I would rather
want a friend to tell me that I have something on my face than
save the thought for themselves.Like the hell the fuck.
(03:59):
Let's see what top comments. Everybody sucks here.
I'm so glad I'm not 19 anymore. Oh man oh man that that got
31,000 of votes and not the asshole.
Those apps have algorithms that track who likes you and adjust
the options you're shown. So essentially an attractiveness
(04:22):
algorithm. If she wants to be superficial
and how she rates guys then she needs to be able to handle the
same standard. Yep Yep Yep.
And they said I'm getting a lot of comments.
I don't work for those companiesso I don't know the algorithms
are exactly. I read an article a year or so
ago that indicated all of those apps are designed to make money,
(04:45):
which often means manipulating options available to men to
increase rates of purchasing premium services and then
getting matches and manipulatingwomen into getting early matches
so they remained engaged. Yo, this is psychological
warfare. This is the AI that they were
warning you about. This is this is it right here,
buddies. Lock in, lock in 'cause that's a
(05:08):
lot of swiping. There is this post I saw, I
think it was on Reddit to be quite honest, but it was this
dude and it was like he did a certain amount of like swiping
on like dating apps and dude, itwas like a diagram to show how
many successful swipes he had. He swiped like over like a
million. Like bro was like averaging at
(05:30):
like 23 swipes an hour or some shit.
And people were like bro, maybe if you invest some time into
you, you could run into somebodyonce you have a hobby.
The other than just swiping because I feel like mother
fucker was on like the bus or out walking or doing whatever
you do right. Grocery store bro was so like he
didn't make sure you get his 2325 non matches and 25 swipes
(05:54):
of nothing because he didn't gethe only got 1 match or out of
yeah, one match out of all of those.
And he just wasn't probably paying attention to the world
around him. And I wouldn't be surprised if
that is what's going on too withthis girl.
But yeah, I did not know. I mean, we know about an
algorithm, blah, blah, blah, right?
(06:16):
That's social media. That's any type of electronic
device that can be used for research purposes, right?
Even when it comes to using Google or any, hell, even
autocorrect, it already knows like based off of how you're
formatting your sentence, what the next words going to be based
on the algorithm you fed it, of trending, of how you talk.
(06:40):
I hope you're following me, bestie.
But let's see, let's see if OP said anything.
And he said, yeah, that's a goodpoint.
Their name is fluid experience. I'm really proud of them.
Their account has been suspended.
I can't even, oh, I, I click it and it just says account
suspended. I can't even open the thing.
So yeah, I don't think everybodysucks here.
(07:04):
I want to be quite honest. I think OP is just too good of a
friend for the 19 year old female that has body dysmorphia.
So yeah, let's open the package.Let's see.
Let's see what's in it. Let's do this one.
(07:28):
You ready? Oh, I was like, I'm not going to
get that far. I don't have a knife.
I got an exacto knife. These things are really sharp.
But ask an adult for supervisionto use one of these.
OK, let's see. Cutaway, cutaway, cutaway.
(07:48):
Ladies and gentlemen, let's see.Let's see.
See that right there? I got a bug bite.
You see these bug bites? There's a there's a little
mosquito in here. Little mosquito.
OK, I'm going to open it down here, not because I'm going to
just like throw something weird in it or get out something
that's embarrassing. It's because there's a little
package slip that has the littlething called a, a dress and we
(08:11):
don't need that. Let's see if I can.
So there are multiple items in here.
More than multiple. This is absolutely beautiful.
I am overwhelmed, ladies and gentlemen.
Do you hear that? You hear that?
(08:32):
I think. Do you hear that ringing?
Hello. Look at her eyes.
These are squirmles, but they'reknock off squirmles because
they're called litutor. My worms too.
Very crazy. ASMR.
(08:53):
It's like the most chaotic, likeASMR experience you can have is,
ladies and gentlemen, Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You see that rainbow one? They gave me a rainbow one.
They're not supposed to come with rainbow.
Oh, OK, so funny story. I know why they gave me a little
rainbow one. So the rainbow one is one of the
most expensive ones to get, right?
(09:14):
I bought over, I think 75% of their store.
OK, so for those that don't knowwhat a squirmal is, or I'm
sorry, for legal purposes, a pipe worm with googly eyes.
It's one of these guys. This is one of my original He's
(09:34):
my accountants. We have to talk specifically
every April, right before tax day.
He lets me know what we can get away with.
My he's my bestie. Let's let's, let's let him chill
with us for a little bit while we open our brick of worms.
(09:58):
OK, got worms, I got worms. OK, so you're wondering what the
hell are you doing tired with all these stupid ass pipe
cleaners? I'm going to snort them all.
Oh man, I just know that's so loud in the mic.
Oh baby my hot. My whole room echoed on that
(10:20):
one. Look at this little fella.
Look at this little guy. He got, he got a curly friendly
tail. He's just a baby.
He is awesome. He got the of course with the
googly eyes. And yeah, I was not expecting
them to just give me one for free.
They're probably finally the autistic people got their
(10:43):
paycheck. It's been years ever since
COVID. They hide inside now, but
probably anyways, why you got somany?
So I'm going to a convention in August called San Japan, and
this is going to be a part of our Gato gang.
(11:06):
Fellas, buckle up, you got worms.
Because we're the Gato gang. This is our little last brain
cell. These are our parasites and I'm
gonna make little key chains andthey're gonna have names and
personalities. So if you see me, they're by the
way, they're fucking free. So yeah, if you want lunch,
(11:31):
comment down below. And if you comment too late, I
will tell you. I'm sorry, but no, this is this
is what it's gonna be. I am like literally so shocked.
I got the color ones. Anyways, let's see some more.
Oh, there's some with the stripes.
There's some stripe boys. We got a yellow.
(11:53):
This is just a squirmal review. Get ready with me while I unbox
my 240 count squirmals. Wait, redacted squirmal pipe
cleaners with googly eyes. But we have yellow, red, pink,
turquoise, purple, orange, green, and then striped friends.
They all have googly eyes. They all look very well made.
(12:16):
Not a fan of them being all still putting the individual
packages. This is gonna be a lot of work.
I have over 1000 to make until August 28th.
Wish me luck, Bestie. So you know what time it is.
OK, I'm gonna go ahead and put these away because what the fuck
(12:39):
if you're not knowing what the Hell's going on?
Just just come back and view it,view whatever the hell we just
looked at. And for those that also don't
know, what scrambles are you like feed them through your
hands. I can't do it anymore.
When I was in elementary school,I used to like do it all the
time. Like, whoa, bro, Oh, I'm a cool
(13:00):
kid. I was extremely not liked, but I
had all the cool fidgets, bro, Ihad all the cool fidgets.
Yes. Like, might have been a weird,
overweight elementary school kid, but I fucking had the the
toys, OK? I had the fucking shits.
They can't deny that, OK. And it just feels so satisfying.
(13:23):
Like, excuse me, excuse me. But yeah, we're going to take
over the world. Me and these worms.
You and these worms here, here, here, here, here.
Let's go ahead and put this little fella next to each other.
OK, Let's get the next story forthe next item in this package.
(13:51):
Or hold on, let me see what's inthis package real quick.
I'm having my own little Patty moment here.
See Patty right here. I just need to, I need to make a
giant scramble for my outfit of San Japan.
Amazing idea. Well, that's that's what's in
(14:13):
the package other than these. I know those aren't nerds.
I wish very expensive nerds if they would be, but they're just
the the coil ends, because I'm going to like glue the the noses
the little schnauzers to some like this little metal coil so
(14:35):
they can attach the key ring. You want to see what they look
like? Of course, of course I hear you,
I hear you calm down. I'm getting there bestie.
Hold on, hold on. I'm trying to do it.
I'm trying to go so fast, but I got that bag on me.
You see that shit just little little quails.
I spent an hour and a half trying to fucking measure these
right for this little worm face,the little schnauzer to get the
(14:57):
schnauzer right. I'm so sorry for listening to
this without headphones. Just know that I'm proud of you,
I love you and and can I get a hold of you?
OK, So yeah, that's what that is.
Fan fucking tastic. Let's go ahead and put these
(15:20):
down. I'm gonna get rid of this giant
cardboard thing over my head that I'm sure the mic was just
lovingly picking up every crinkle of.
And we will open the next package after this story titled
Am I the asshole for letting my sister go thirsty through an
entire meal? Is your sister like not able to
(15:44):
live on her own? Because other than that it's not
your responsibility bud. I'm like the fuck anyways next
door and I was kidding. This kidding?
OK, My sister does this thing where she'll just say something
she wants with the expectation that someone will do it for her.
For example, she wants the AC turned on instead of asking
(16:07):
someone to turn it on for her. She'll keep repeating things
like oh isn't it super warm in here?
Oh she's passive. She I'm sorry she's a little
bitch and I heard that today's asuper hot day and if someone
asks her if she wants the AC on she'll reply with no no I'm good
but if you're hot then you should turn it on.
(16:29):
Girl has a lot to face growing up.
She has a long long life ahead of her.
ANYWAYS, last weekend it was my birthday so my family and I went
out to celebrate. I wonder what she did to hmm.
My mom lets me eat birthday cake.
I bet you that's what that bitchwill say.
(16:50):
I'm telling you, I'm telling youdude.
OK, here we go. Let's see.
Let's see, let's see. Anyways, last birthday.
Last birthday. Last weekend it was my birthday
so my family and I went out to celebrate.
During the meal she kept making comments implying that she
wanted another cocktail but wouldn't order it.
Sorry you can't speak up for yourself.
You, you snooze. You lose bitch.
(17:11):
OK the waitress even came by andasked if we needed anything but
she didn't order a drink even when we all did.
I could tell she was agitated atthat point but it was my
birthday so I just ignored her. Not everyone's going to save
you. Get what you need to get.
The fuck so weird. Either she has like a money
(17:32):
thing, like is she expected to pay for these and so that's why
she's not doing it. And so she doesn't want to like,
feel obligated to pay if someoneoffers it to her.
Or because it doesn't seem like the parents were abusive because
like, if they're abusive, you wouldn't have even like went out
drinking with your family. Alcohol kind of brings up some
(17:54):
of those conversations, right? OK, when we all got home she got
really snippy and said that it was super rude that we all got
our own drinks and didn't order one for her.
My brother and I brought up thatshe said no when the waitress
asked but she said she that wasn't the issue.
In her opinion we should have known to order her a drink too
because everyone else got one and the fact that we let her go
(18:17):
thirsty was inconsiderable and that in the future we ought to
order her drinks too. She also said that she was only
saying no to the waitress because her family should taking
care of her. Her words, not mine.
What the hell dude? What type of entitled ass
bullshit is going on here? Lost words, Let's finish this.
(18:43):
The three of us have been kind of arguing back and forth about
it. Just stop entertaining it.
And I'm just tired of all the fighting so I wanted to get some
more opinions on whether or not I should have ordered her a
drink as well. Man, does she have any ex
boyfriends? Oh my God, dude.
I want to, I want to talk to them.
I want to know. I want to know been like he's
(19:06):
like, you should have known I wanted to come.
Oh no dude. Oh no.
OK, tough comment. Not the asshole.
I think it would actually be considered rude to order someone
another cocktail after they specifically told the waitress
no. Correct.
Because it's literally like a non consensual like drink at
(19:29):
that point. Like you said no.
So she's literally like I'm going to say no but that means
yes. What?
I can't do with that? Like what are we kindergarten?
Anyways? If I say I'm not drinking
anymore but someone orders me another drink anyway, I would be
annoyed that they decided they knew better about my alcoholic
consumption than I did. And I agree.
(19:50):
But next time I dined with that sister I would ask for a pitcher
of water to be put in front of her.
Yep and another comment also, ifOP or their brother should have
ordered her a drink because family takes care of each other,
shouldn't she be ordering the drink for other people?
Yo the perspective of this one. That is very true.
(20:14):
Because what's like do you want them to fucking finger feed you?
Let me let me reword this. Would you like your family to
feed you grapes while you lay down?
Like are you a goddamn Princess?Even if you're a Princess?
It's 2025. Not any Princess is treated like
(20:34):
that. What the fuck?
OK, and if you were that fancy, you wouldn't be out at a place
where the server would ask you questions.
It would be so fancy that you already pre-ordered beforehand.
And if you know, you know. And if you don't, that's because
it's she she wants Princess treatment in a false reality.
OK, yeah, this this whole story is very silly.
(20:57):
I don't think there are any moreunique comments.
I mean, don't get me wrong, everybody has a good take, but
it's just everyone thinks that the the sister needs to, I don't
know, get therapy because I, I don't even understand how
someone can be raised this way. I'm telling you, I, I think it
(21:20):
was just like a past ex, like boyfriend or something that just
Opie has no comments, no other posts, no overview anyways.
But I think that she just had like a really traumatizing
experience with like a boyfriendor something.
Or she like completely put herself on a pedestal because of
some like anime or TV show she decided to watch and she took on
(21:41):
that personality. And that's fairly common.
So unfortunately, it's fairly common.
So there's that story. Let's all take a moment and be
happy that we don't have a sister like that in our lives.
And if you do have a sister likethat in your lives, let's take a
moment and do some retail therapy box #2 let's see, let's
(22:04):
see, let's see, let's see what the Hell's in this motherfucking
box. OK, let's see.
Perfect moment for me to do ASMR, but I'm absolutely ruining
it. And you also shouldn't be
falling asleep to these videos. I yell randomly too much.
So that's that's unfortunate. Chat, are we cooked?
(22:33):
Chat, are we cooked? Brother in Christ, not only Are
you ready for this, I don't evenknow what to say.
(22:56):
We're going to take over the world with these worms.
OK, so we have 1. So this is a pack of 646464
fuzzy worm babies. Pack one.
I wish I'd like a place like putit without it like anyway, so I
(23:17):
don't have a place because you see all this stuff back here.
There's no room 234. Hey, count with me. 5 Oh, we're
getting on camera. We're getting on camera.
What comes after five? No, not that number six.
(23:41):
There you go. Oh, oh, oh.
I don't even know how it's balancing.
This is like really crazy. 7 Hold on focusing.
I'm hyper focusing what comes after 7 or why was 6 afraid to
seven? Because 7-8.
(24:03):
Oh, I didn't think I'd get this far.
Actually, I don't have any more than eight.
I thought I had 9. Oops.
That's embarrassing. But do you see this?
Oh my God. Oh my God.
Get yourself some worms. You got worms.
I got all the worms now do you see why they gave me the free
(24:26):
rainbow one? If you want one, just be a part
of the Gato gang. Get your cat worms, bro.
Get your worms. Get that drip.
But I'm very proud. I'm honestly proud of myself,
but not proud of my goddamn bankfor not asking me to verify this
(24:48):
fucking purchase. I spent a lot of money on these
worms, OK? Not one, so they say.
Did you try to spend $300 on what?
What is this called? Lee Tutor 64 piece fuzzy worms
for Kit Kat 8 colours made in China.
Nothing. It just showed up at my God damn
(25:11):
God damn door. OK now I'm going to throw these
down. Now please excuse me in my
worms. OK, I do have two more packages.
I actually have no goddamn idea what the fuck's in it.
Oh, wait, no, no, real quick, I have the Super glue.
(25:33):
Super glue. Because remember, kids, we're
putting the schnauzers on those little hooks with the little
glue. OK, thanks for following.
Let's go ahead and do our last two stories.
I'm not going to read that one because I don't want a title
that aggressive. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm oh am I the
(25:56):
asshole for not going to my twins wedding?
Let's read it. I, 24 male, have an identical
twin. We're not close but I thought we
had basic mutual respect. That belief was tested.
I grew up in a traditional southern town and only began
coming out in college about fiveyears ago.
(26:17):
It's been slow, especially with my family, but since moving to
DC in 23 for school and work, I felt more comfortable living
authentically. Cool.
Yeah, Hell yeah. Live your life, buddy.
After moving, I met my boyfriend, 26, male, and we've
been together for two years. Fuck yeah.
Over time, I've introduced him to friends and family when I
felt safe. As you should, King, as you
(26:40):
should. Cut to November 24.
I was home for the holidays and told my twin and his fiance
about my boyfriend's Fuck yeah. They seem happy for me.
While staying with them, weddingdetails arose and they asked if
I'd be bringing a date. I said yeah, my boyfriend's, my
twin had gone to bed. But his fiance said while there
are pros and cons, it's up to you if you want to bring him.
(27:05):
What, you're afraid that my his boyfriend's gonna fuck him
better than you fuck his sister?Like the hell?
What is going on? OK, that felt like a green
light. My twin constantly deferred to
her on decisions, so I don't think I needed to double check.
Also, I'm sorry, forgetting all these genders mixed up.
There's too many people going onand you can be a twin.
(27:26):
I know I probably already said it.
OK, I probably already said it, so hold on.
Let's see. I because of what?
Fiance? Because with two ES, it's both
male and female, right? Right, right.
Let me look that up. Let me look that up.
Too many damn names these days. Let's see.
(27:52):
So with 1E it means man. So that is his.
He has a twin and the twin is a male and his twin.
OK gotcha gotcha. So the only reason the fiance
the girl is butt hurt is becauseshe knows that she knows that
(28:20):
her fiance's are going to get better Dick than not.
I hope you're following me. I hope you're following me.
I hope you understand my joke. This hurts.
It's so hard trying to explain Ican barely story tell.
That's why I talk to stuffed animals and have worms.
OK, And yes, if if you're only listening to this one, I have
(28:41):
over 1000 squirmals that I just showed on camera that I ordered.
That's what's going on. OK, anyways, let's continue.
That felt like a green light. My twin constantly deferred to
her on decisions, so I didn't think I needed to double check.
Five months passed. My boyfriend and I had spent 1.3
K on travel. Three weeks before the wedding,
I mentioned on a call with my brother that we were all set.
(29:03):
His tone shifted. Sorry, I got, I got a Neopet and
I got I got this little what thehell?
1 Neopet's connected to my wires.
I got this little fella right here.
She is just blocking the way. She's a cutie, but she is just
blocking the way. Let's let's put her, let's put
her right here. She deserves to be seen.
(29:24):
Excuse me, guys. Excuse me, fellows.
Thank you. OK, let's continue.
Oh, is the boyfriend actually coming?
I reminded him of the combo withhis fiance.
He said she never gave me permission and accused me of
making it up. What the fuck?
Does she live in a fairy land? Is she stuck in Nazi Germany?
(29:48):
Like why is she thinking that people are making it up that
they're gay? The fuck bro?
Is she making that up? Is that her justification?
OK, then said we can't allow. Oh, not yeah, yeah, we can't
allow your boyfriend to come. We worry how Dad's side will
(30:10):
react. Nah, bitch, you don't give a
fuck. At least we know the apples
don't fall far from the tree on that side.
And we know who didn't hang out with Dad that much.
I offered to call dad on the spots he dodged, saying he
checked with his fiance despite just saying it was his decision.
An hour later, no change. I was still invited alone, still
(30:30):
expected to buy a groomsman match suiting even though I
wasn't in the party, and show upsmiling.
So fucking nasty bro. You cannot treat a family member
like an item. Like a prop.
The fuck? That's when I snapped.
I asked if I didn't invite your fiance to my wedding, would you
still come? You couldn't answer and ended
the call after some harsh words.There's your answer bro.
(30:52):
You don't have to have them answer to have an answer.
You hear me bestie? OK, trying to make things right,
I came out to my dad, which I feared for years, to explain the
situation. He was surprisingly indifferent
and even said uninviting. My boyfriend was extreme.
He offered to talk to extended family.
(31:13):
I thought I was removing the main obstacle.
Yeah, you were you. You asked a question, they
answered. And if this truly wasn't their
answer, they got caught fucking lying.
So I should tell you even more. Tell you even more, two weeks
later, my twin called again. He now claimed our friends would
be weirded out. So the excuse shifted.
I said it's my boyfriend's not invited, I'm not coming.
(31:37):
He didn't budget. Excuse me guys, I have a knock
at the door. I wonder if you hear that?
Let's take care of this little knock at the door real quick.
Give me one second. Would you like to say hi to
everyone? Come on.
(31:57):
You want to say hello? Come on.
Alrighty. The friend at the door is right
here. She's here to inspect all the
packages I just opened. She smelt all the foreign items.
She smelt the Chinese governmentat my doorstep.
This is Lucy. She is my TSA, she is my
(32:20):
inspector. Anytime I come home with
groceries, she makes sure no bombs were left in.
Anytime I buy 1000 squirmals, little pipe cleaners with googly
eyes, she will inspect to make sure that they are safe for our
consuming and leisure. So go ahead and say thank you
Lucy. Right.
We all say that in unison. Let's try it again.
(32:40):
Thank you Lucy. All righty, I'm going to let her
get to work. OK, let's continue the story.
Here's the kicker. Days later my dad told me the
fiance admitted she did not giveme permission but changed her
mind when she remembered who would be there.
She denied this to my twin. Also, one of her bridesmaids is
(33:03):
openly gay and brought her girlfriend, but according to the
fiance she was not part of the family so it's different.
So I didn't go. I'm still wondering if I made
the wrong call. My abstinence was noticed.
I got test text asking where I was.
My mom had explained it repeatedly.
So instead of avoiding attention, my absence became the
story. I mean, that's what happens when
(33:27):
you marry shitty people. My relationship with my twin is
dead and some family ties are now fragile.
Part of me wonders, should I have sucked it up and gone solo
just to preserve bonds that shaped my early life?
So. And when they asshole for
skipping the wedding, you literally were told like the
fuck dog, like they're literallygetting married.
They know that like it's a bond,right, like a relationship,
(33:50):
because that's that's why you date.
You want to eventually get married, this whole purpose of
dating. So see, she agrees.
Did you hear that Lucy agreed with us?
So like you're expecting anotherperson to just.
Separate. For a, a wedding like what?
Like not like completely separate, but you know what I
(34:10):
mean? Like being seen, you know, being
seen together at such a vulnerable reception.
So stop comments. You came out to your dad, got
gas lit by your twin, got lied to by the fiance and still tried
to make peace. You did more than enough.
They chose drama, not you. Correct.
Hi, sorry we got a Lucy here just inspecting.
(34:31):
She is just so happy right now. I'm going to take my little
mouse from her because we don't need.
No we don't. We don't need no random clicking
here and he hasn't even asked tobe part of the bridal party.
I think his relationship was dead long ago or am I wrong?
I completely agree. Happy to see the true colours of
(34:55):
this twin because that's absolutely disgusting.
Fiance is just mad that she got showing her true colors.
Let's be fucking real. Let's be fucking real.
I am scrolling right now for thelast story.
(35:15):
Not a fan of many of. These.
Oh no. Oh my.
Gosh, she's eating the squirmal.Get it out of your mouth.
Holy crap, why would you do that?
Why my goodness, she almost ate our limited.
You have worms now. You have limited edition rainbow
(35:38):
worms in your system Now, lady, we're going to remove this
string because my cat will destroy it and consume it.
She will eat it and this will cost more than the Squirmles, so
that's not going to fucking happen.
(35:59):
Let's go ahead and read the laststory.
I'm still looking. Let's see, let's see, let's see,
let's see. But.
I'm not reading that. Oh my gosh, there's no good
ones. Emma the asshole for asking why
(36:28):
they ignored the no dog sign. I, 33 male, went to a coffee
shop this past weekend. As soon as I open the door I'm
hit with a dog looking at me at hip level sitting on a chair in
the small shop. The dog is indoors and the door
had a clear no pet sign. I watched for a second.
So this clearly wasn't a serviceanimal as she was letting it
(36:49):
interact with several other guests.
I asked her why she ignored the no pets sign.
She ignores me. I asked her did you miss the no
pets sign? She immediately says I think you
should stop harassing me. That's not harassment ma'am.
What the hell are you on about? All I was doing was asking why
(37:11):
she ignored the no pet sign. This lady played the victim and
called me an asshole. Another Patreon steps up for her
and the dude says why is it an issue?
Because it's extremely fucking illegal to have animals and a
consumable food environment in America.
Who cares? Tells me that I need to not be
(37:33):
an asshole and drop it. I weave the guy off telling my
care and I don't like dogs. I say it's not hard to not bring
your dog into a coffee shop thatdoesn't allow dogs.
Correct. By that point it's my time to
order. I complained to the employee who
didn't seem interested in enforcing anything the owner
left on her own. Am I the asshole?
No, because these are the same motherfuckers that if you walk
(37:54):
in with a motherfucking gun, that's I mean like obviously
walking again, That's like that's such an aggressive way to
put it, but it's you know how they have concealed carry, but
it says like no, you can't bringa gun in and has like the 50
whatever 5050 rule or what? I forgot what it says, but it's
basically if there's like a bar,you can't have a gun in the
establishment. These motherfuckers be like mom,
(38:17):
I need to, even though they're probably grown and dull.
So they'll be like, I can't believe if you brought a gun
into the establishment, Oh my goodness gracious, you need to
hide it. Like they if somebody came in
without like it concealed, they would have a mental breakdown.
The sign says this like Nah, bitch.
It's not that you don't care because it's a dog.
(38:39):
It's just because you want to doyour motherfucking way.
And I don't know about you, but I think Opie said this was a
coffee shop and not fucking Burger King.
You can't have it your way bitch.
That's how it goes. That's how it goes.
And top comment on this one. I'm going against the grain and
will probably be downvoted, but mostly not the asshole.
What do you mean against the grain?
(39:01):
What do you mean against the grain?
Oh boy. But these comments are a war
fire hell zone. But mostly not the asshole.
The way you asked her way repeatedly was weird.
She's not going to have an answer or respond well to that.
But you weren't wrong for calling her out for having a dog
in a restaurant that clearly doesn't allow them.
Nothing's weird with repeating yourself to somebody that
(39:24):
decides to ignore you. Sorry.
It's called putting the fucking pressure down, especially if
somebody's violating a policy. Like the fuck?
Hello, I personally have asked for the manager and pushed them
to do something. I say this is a huge animal
person. It's a lot outrageous how many
(39:45):
pet owners feel entitled to ignore rules because they think
their pet is special. Like those people at fucking
Costco that put it in the goddamn kid seats in the front
of the shopping cart and they let the fucker piss and shit.
And no, it doesn't go directly on the floor, it goes to the
fucking grading. OK, I'm traumatized, I shouldn't
(40:05):
be able to smell your dog's pissand shit when I'm trying to
enjoy Costco's new limited edition MetLife motherfucking
chocolate chip protein shake. OK, because I'm not going to
spend $48948.99 on a 25 counts without trying it first.
But now all I can taste is dog shits because of your dog that
(40:27):
shouldn't even be here. What the fuck?
I know you're not that lonely. I know you used to have kids and
you're a grandma now and everybody forgot about you.
So that's why you need to bring your dog everywhere.
Because then you know exactly that's why.
Leave your kids home. Make grocery stores.
Grocery stores again. Oh, man.
(40:50):
Oh, my God. I don't get it.
I I really don't get it. And I'm a huge cat person, but I
don't. Yes, I've brought my cat to the
beach before. Yeah, So what, There's no no cat
signs at the beach. I pay extra for the hotel to
accommodate my animals. I pay the pet fee.
OK, all right, you know what youpay nothing other than making
(41:14):
them fucking put whipped cream in a little cup because pup
cups, which are adorable, but not at a place where I'm over
here. Like assuming that this lady did
all sorry I'm petting my cat down here.
She's really happy. She likes it when I yell at
screens. She's a big fan of that.
She is a very big fan of that. Also, it's usually legal to have
(41:38):
non service animals inside blah blah blah.
And I can go down an amazing, fun little story about fake
service animals and the fake licensing you can buy online,
which is such a joke because a lot of these people get the fake
ones not only because they want to have excuses to just bring
their animal in anywhere. It causes a health hazard for
(42:00):
other animals around that are actually service dogs that go
through the excruciating training and the time and the
investment and the money that goes into service animals.
And you're like, well, Tiger Gato, but So what?
What? No, because if you're having to
get to the fake one, you don't know if your if your pets
actually updated on their, all their vaccines.
(42:22):
So you're imposing also a healthdanger for these animals that
have a lot of money, time and investment into them for actual
health issues. Get the fuck out of here.
It's like, it's like when you would go to school, you know,
back when we used to go to school, right, You need to go to
the doctor's office or the the nurse's office.
Sorry, my bad. Actually with the doctor in this
economy, hell no, the nurse's office at your school and there
(42:45):
were no motherfucking beds because everybody like half of
the people just didn't want to be in goddamn class.
Like and then you're over here like damn, I'm about to vomit.
Like I'm about to like mommy, I threw up.
You can't threw up in a safe little bed because everybody
else grew up with air quotationswhen no, you probably just
partied too hard the night before.
(43:06):
Or you took the pill that some random person gave you because
public school and you fucked it for everyone else.
Your bad decisions. Does that make it to where you
make other people's lives worse because you're taking up
resources being dumb? Stop it.
OK, let's see if OP said anything.
(43:27):
Their name is Lobach 3O8. I chose to say something because
I could not to protect the business.
Don't care about the business. I don't want to be around dogs
bro. Just don't want a fucking dog
and they should have to explain that like the hell.
My situation was in Manhattan Beach.
Sounds like the places you post about are breaking the law and
health code. Yo, OP went into somebody's
(43:48):
fucking ready to count and fucking coded their asses.
Hell yeah. Let's see.
Let's see. Hold on, I'm going to get a
little. Little water break on this one.
OK, where are we at? We're at. 43 minutes.
OK, let's do this. Let's do this last one.
(44:09):
You most likely don't live in a dog friendly city.
Oh, by the way, this is just somebody commenting, right?
You most likely don't live in a dog friendly city with
incompetent government. It's down a dozen here and this
is one of the largest cities in the US.
I've also seen this elsewhere. It's not just the US thing and
happens in other countries too. Another person replied saying
that they live in Los Angeles. It's very dog friendly and they
go back-to-back to back and they're like just talking about
(44:32):
it, right? And then that's when Opie says
my situation was in Manhattan Park.
Sounds like the places you post about are breaking the law and
health code. And they go maybe, maybe I was
like, bitch, they got your ass. Shut up.
Just say OK, yeah, fair. Got me.
What, like countability, bud? Countability.
And they're saying it's not really a health code violation
(44:53):
specifically, and it's not a lotto prevent dogs from entering
shops. What?
How is that not a health code violation?
Hold on, Hold on. Let's let's do a little
research. I'm gonna, I'm gonna pull up a
little something. Something.
I got cat hair all over my face like it is tickling my brains,
(45:13):
bro. And not in a romantic way.
Hold on, Hold on, hold on. Health code violation for dogs
and shop. So it is in Texas.
(45:34):
Of course it pulled up Texas because, shocker, I'm in Texas.
Yeah. Land of the oil and free.
So they're in Manhattan Beach. Where is that?
That's part of New York. But you never know these days.
Everybody has like, everybody has like a city name from a
different city. Nowadays.
I'm like brother, like I can't even keep up with my own fucking
(45:56):
trees. Why do they have to be called
other places like that that? See, it's in fucking.
California, bro, man. Oh my God.
Oh my God. See, exactly.
That's why you guys always check.
Always check. OK, so Manhattan Beach in
California. Well, that's your issue, OP.
You're in California. You got the boohoo cry babies.
You got the you. You got the you, you, you got
(46:22):
them in there. Let's see.
Let's see. So California dog and restaurant
law, apparently it's a top searched item and California
dogs are generally not allowed in restaurants with a few
exceptions. Service animals as defined by
the ADA are permitted in all areas, correct?
(46:42):
Correct. Let's see.
Let's see. Let's see.
And yes, restaurant staff cannotask for paperwork, blah, blah,
blah. Mr. Freeman, you know what I
mean? Here we are.
This is what I'm talking about. We got a what is it?
A what do you call these little guys?
A safety code. It's called 114259.5.
(47:06):
Write that down, chat. OK, It's W annotated California
codes Health and safety code Environmental health part 7
California retail Food code chapter 8 physical facilities
Article 6 Furman and animals, live animals last check
September 2024 and this post was27 days ago.
All right, so we're in a correctupdated.
(47:31):
Article. Let's read it.
Summary and in 2014, California added amendments to its law on
live animals in the retail food code related to pet dogs and
outdoor dining areas if outdoor.If a food establishment.
Owner allows it. Patreons may bring their pet
(47:52):
dogs to an outdoor dining area if requirements are met.
So damn, if they had to write something like this to verify if
like they can go outside inside of a cafe.
Like bitch the it's not math then the math's not math.
Then if they had to freaking update this code to reiterate
even dogs outside sitting, what's that telling you?
Anyways, let's keep reading it. Let's see.
(48:17):
Except as specified in this section, live animals may not be
allowed in a food facility B live animals.
This isn't multiple choice by the way.
This is just how they write laws.
They they put it in segments. I'll take a for 500 live animal
cruelty Tired got to live animals may be allowed in any of
the following situations if the contamination of food, clean
(48:39):
equipment, utensils, linens and unwrapped single use articles
cannot result. And they even said that the dog
was sitting in a chair like right there, right then and
there. Like that means you have access
to a table because chairs aren'tjust in front of nothing.
They're in front of motherfucking tables.
Because if you're at a coffee shop, you got to sit down and
what do you do? Have a table in front of you and
how you can eat your croissant with your goddamn hot chalky
(48:59):
milk that you're hiding in a cupand you're going to say it's a
mocha triple shot because you want to people to remember that
you're an adult, right? But in reality, you're just a
little kid that wants your hot chalky milk with your ham and
cheese croissant, huh? And that's OK, right?
So don't tell me this dog isn't in reach of everybody else's
(49:20):
croissant and my hot chalky milk.
So live animals may be allowed in any of the following
situations of the contamination of food.
Clean equipment, utensils, linens and unwrapped single use
articles cannot result in one edible fish or decorative.
What fish you can do fish What do you do about fish,
crustaceans, ice. Oh, we're talking about because
that is, I know you all heard about the, the, the, that one
(49:45):
food market that would. Abandoned.
And they sold like fish productsand it's like a huge biohazard
because these things go fucking crazy without the correct
temperatures. It's death.
Like the kid that also eat like.Leftover like Chinese food, the
stir fry rice and they like diedafter 24 hours.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, Oh my God I will
I will read that story just let me know.
(50:06):
Just let me know are two animalsintended for consumption at the
live animals are kept separate from all food and utensils hand
dealing areas. Oh they're talking about like
the actual cattle. Like I'm telling you this is a
big ass like big ass like document.
It's about like the food, the animals, if they're life
slaughtered or not. OK, so basically what?
(50:33):
We're getting from this is fuck now get the fuck out.
Oh man. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Oh my God. Six months ago we have a Reddit
post. Let me try to pull this one up.
Let me see if I can pull this one up.
It says dogs in the restaurant. Let me just let me just read it
(50:55):
real quick. OK, OK, Dogs in the restaurant.
I'm in California where dogs arenot permitted in restaurants
unless they are serviced. Animal dogs, not emotional
support animals. And the emotional support
animals are those fucking fake documents that I was talking
about earlier where you can cause contamination of illnesses
and stuff, Right. OK, bad safety issues.
Bad safety issues. OK.
The penalty is $261.00 per infraction.
(51:17):
We have an outdoor patio. Oh they're also talking about
the outside shit. I love dogs but I really don't
want them in the restaurant unless it's truly a service dog.
How do you handle customers withdogs at your establishment?
And top comment just assuming it's California quote.
Dogs are not permitted in restaurants unless they are
service dogs in California. Misrepresenting a dog as a
service animal can result in a misdemeanor potentially carrying
(51:40):
a fine of up to 1K and six months in jail.
Well, dogs are generally not allowed outdoor patio areas
under certain specific conditions.
And that was that giant like 25 page like document that I was
trying to go through. Then I decided not to for the
sake of you and I sanity of realizing that O PS Not wrong.
(52:03):
Yeah, that's insane. But OK, let's open the last
package. Let's see what's in it.
Let's see what's in it. Well.
There's 2. There's two packages, OK, and
I'm pretty sure they're the sameexact goddamn thing because
sometimes Amazon is efficient but not or like they fucking
(52:25):
just put a sticker on the original box.
Like bro, why do you let everybody know?
I just got like a phone screen for the brand new fucking
Samsung just sitting out on my fucking porch like banks Bezos.
Hold on, let's see. Oh, ladies and gentlemen.
(52:47):
It's more springs, it's more springs, and I'm pretty sure
it's even more springs than thisone.
How entertaining and. Exciting for those that forgot,
it's OK because bestie be like that with the little springs.
(53:08):
So they're these little guys andI'm going to hook them onto the
nose with the Super glue and yeah, I'm going to make a bunch
of them and they're going to be really exciting.
They're going to be the got to agang.
It's going to be our last brain cell on a freaking charm.
So cute, so cute because growingup I always had one in my
pocket. And I want you to also always
have one. It's a reminder that you're not
(53:31):
alone, Bestie. OK, It's like, shit sucks, but
damn, you got a worm. You can't get upset about that.
How are you going to cry and have a crisis when you got a
worm over here judging you? Like that's that really puts
things in perspective. You're like, damn, I got a worm.
That's like making fun of me right now.
I'm so happy to have this worm because I was kind of being
(53:51):
silly right there, huh? OK, well, that's that for this
episode. I'm happy to talk to you again.
I'm sorry, I've been so fucking.I'm like currently like in a
rush. I'm making a studio set right
now, making a handmade dress, painting chairs.
I'm making a giant ass plinko board that we're going to play
(54:13):
with. I'm going to have a cat mailbox
because we're going to have sleepy mail time where we're
going to have all these little characters.
We're going to. I'm hitting my hand, by the way,
for my audio listeners that are watching this right now because
I get things are busy. Keep your eyes on the road, OK?
I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you.
Keep using your turn signal, OK?Even if there's nobody behind
(54:33):
you, because we don't want to fall into bad habits.
You heard me. OK, But you know, there's a lot
of shit going on. The same Japan event that's
happening. When is it?
So last week of August, August 29th to the 31st, I will be
there. I have a super awesome surprise
with Whataburger. I don't know if you know
(54:54):
Whataburger is, but San Japan isa convention that's been going
for like 17 years, I believe 1417 years, something like that
for a fucking long time. And it's called San Japan
because I live in San Antonio. So San Japan, it's a mixture of
the cultures and everything. And I have a fun little thing
with Whataburger, which is a really nice restaurant.
(55:16):
I call it a restaurant. Just kidding.
It's McDonald's for Texans in the best way possible.
It's fucking amazing. Yes.
It's hit or miss sometimes, depending on your location.
That's why you have reviews, Google reviews, Apple reviews.
Look at that. It's just like any other place.
You go buy food, you make sure you pick the right one, right?
OK, but we're working together. They promoted me for something
(55:37):
really fun. I will show you guys what that's
about, but I'm not going to let you guys know because people all
can be weird and try to do this thing called copycat and we're
not doing that because even if they, well, I mean, even if they
would copycat, they wouldn't have the official water burger
like sponsorship of it, literally.
(56:00):
But yeah, I'm really excited about that.
I'm also working on my set. I'm hoping to get the first
episode out August 1st. That's my goal.
I already have the theme song out.
It's going to be like a Mr. Rogers Adult Swim nostalgia show
like this where I talk to you. It's still going to be me that
(56:21):
like I am the character. I am me.
I am tired Gato. I will always just be who I am.
But we're going to have like bitmore structure.
We're not just going to be like Oompaville or moist critical,
just sitting in front of a webcam.
Not that anything is wrong with that.
It's just not what I want to be known for.
I want to be known for more thanjust sitting in a chair behind a
(56:45):
computer, which is going to be funny because I have a chair
that I'm going to be sitting in.But it's going to be like a
studio set. It's going to be like your
grandma's house that they loved you very much so they like
allowed you to like do the things you wanted.
It's kind of that type of style super.
Excited for it. It's still.
Going to be called tired. Got the talks.
(57:06):
I've spent so much God forsaken buckaroonies.
I could have bought all the Fortnite skins probably with how
much I've spent on this project.I've met a lot of amazing,
amazing people. I've had people hand craft the
the wall paints to match the Webkinz blue background.
(57:29):
Like there's so much lore and every single color I picked
every character that's going to be on it.
It's going to be the little stuffed animals we got little
Paddy. They're each going to have like
their own characteristic. We're going to have the wheel of
motherfucking Wow from Webkinz. We're going to have a fucking
Palenko board. The it's going to be Paddy the
platypus shaped. We're going to have a lot of
(57:50):
things. We also I've I have a vintage
old ass PC color blocked beautifully painted.
I've been spending way too much time on that as well.
Really excited and I hope you guys like that.
I just I'm ready to look. Back on this video and be like
you fucking did it. You remember when you were
(58:10):
sitting here and talking to the damn screen about waiting to see
how it looks and I still have 1000 motherfucking scramble key
chains I still have to make. And I'm going to be at San Japan
with that block colored dress onwith all these worms attached to
me. And I'm going to have a sign
saying got worms or talk to me about my worms and I'm going to
(58:32):
hand them out and like kind of aself promotion, but they're.
It's not, it's. More so so that people can put
them on their bags and they're like, where the fuck are y'all
getting these worms out? Like oh, the lady with the
colorful dress tired God. So because I want other people
to talk to each other and get toknow each other because there's
(58:53):
going to be like little tags on each of these worm key chains
that talk about like what their name is like I've made the whole
logo and it's going to be kind of like Webkinz Neopets like
type of style. Because I think we need to go
back to connecting with each other and making inaminate
objects have personalities. I've missed that era.
(59:14):
I think we were on to something good with that.
And yeah, we get to reflect who we are with our accessories and
whether it be. Another Patty.
Or another worm. Just know that it's still you
and you're the you're the motherof the proud father of your worm
(59:37):
or of your Patty or of your cat or your dog.
And don't forget you got purposebecause of that.
OK, whether you believe it or not.
But I think that's all for today.
Bestie, thank you so much for hanging out with me.
Sorry I've been gone and I wish you all the best.
(59:58):
And as always, let me get a little prepared because I I got
1000 worms on my feet right now.Let me move a couple things
over. We gotta we gotta end this
phone. Call so coming in for the boop.
Take care. Bye.
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