Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
The regular recommended daily dose of funny is just not enough.
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Speaker 2 (00:09):
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Speaker 3 (01:48):
The gift for real? Yeah, send that to my address.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Oh you beg begging all the time all the damn time.
Got her hand out to somebody? Does she riggins all
the time?
Speaker 3 (02:00):
Actually the Omaha hands out for that?
Speaker 2 (02:06):
It's so very hungry.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
DJ.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Does Jody ever get on the grill at your house?
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Hell? No, like that? Allow that. What It's one place
women's don't belong is on the grill or the or
the blackstone.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
I've never grilled.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
That's not you know, just like women shouldn't be really,
you know, taking out the garbage is not a woman's deal.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Well now I have done that.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
She shouldn't be. No real man's gonna let his let
his old lady take out the damn trash.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Say it louder for the guy in the.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Kitchen does it when you're not looking, that's a different story.
But if I'm looking, Jody ain't taking no trash down
to the road. No, no, just And that's why I mean,
and she's fine with that. She didn't want to be
out there on the grill in the in the Blackstone because,
you know, because either it's hot or cold.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Yeah you know king outside, Yeah there's weather.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Plus she wouldn't even know how. I mean, she could
figure it out. She's the type of person that can
do all that. But but yeah, she's never gone out
and fired up the grill. Said all right, I got
you know, I got the you know, the grill's ready
to go. Let me get these burgers on there. Let
me see mistakes are ready if they've come to room
temperature yet. And but see, I don't grill a whole lot.
(03:37):
Usually my grilling is done on Memorial Day and fourth
of July at little friend Jenny and handsome husband Michael's house.
They have a grill that is for me to use
at their house.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
Yeah, it's gonna wonder they don't even cook, so why
even have a grill outside.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
For me to use, for you to use when I'm
over there during the summer.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
That's wild.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
If we decided we're going to have a cookout.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Can you imagine buying someone that expensive of an item
to only use at your house.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Yeah. Hell, my friend Mark bought one of those expensive
espresso machines to keep here. That's right when he's traveling
through from his beach house to his mountain house and
WoT when he stays here for the weekend on his trip.
He likes having that an espresso And that's why we
(04:34):
have it.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
That's some rich people like I'm buying a forty dollars
one cup carrig to leave at someone's house like or
the office, or I'm not buying that. That's insane.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
One day, Jody went to the to the front door
because we had a delivery from from Amazon and he said,
what is this? And I didn't order anything? And Mark
had ordered himself a fan to go with, some kind
of fancy fan with different noises on it or something
that he uses when he's here to help him sleep.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
And how many times a year would you say? He comes?
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Probably four or five. But he's he's the whole weekend.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
That's more than I thought.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Actually, okay, he stays a lot.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
But not for that, not to make up for the
coffee thing. But the fan fine, a five hundred dollars
coffee machine. I don't see.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Well. I mean he knows we like it too. I
mean we're free to use it whenever, and I do.
I use it, but it's mainly for him to have
when he's here. It's like about this, so you know,
I can have it at your house, but feel free
to use it as much as you want. Same with
the fan.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
I'm trying to get a friend like that. I'm trying
to get that friend.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Because at the old house, boy took Mark's fan and
we had to tell him, hey, Ark's coming this weekend.
You've everybody's fan back in his room.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
It's like, okay, all right, okay.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Hell, little friend Jenny has uh slippers and blankets like
throw blankets and all that she likes over here. Let's
stay here. Even dog beds that stay here for when
when she comes over and the dogs are with us.
And toys. We have dog beds and dog toys here,
(06:28):
and and the dog bowl you know, dog bowls and stuff.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
It's like a storage unit for all your friends. Yeah,
in a pod, and y'all.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Have certain snacks for each other. Is it just like
you get to a certain point in life and that's
what you do. I don't. I've never heard of this.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Well, Jody keeps like children's candy in the house for
her and Michael. Is that's what she and Michael eat.
And then she keeps things like, you know, those Hostess
(07:07):
little donuts in a bag, those donuts, not necessarily the
powdered ones, but the like if they had the cinnamon
sugar ones and stuff like that. She'll keep those here,
and little debbies and Hostess cupcakes and stuff like that
for Jenny, just like I mean, just like kids. Yeah,
you know, you got to get the grandkids. They're snacks, true,
(07:30):
because I don't eat dinner with them anymore on Thursday nights,
that's the night that we used to eat dinner to
go well the night during the week that was in
Jenny and Michael's rotation. But now that I'm working that
night job, I'm on the air while they're eating dinner
with Jody somewhere. But then as soon as they get
here to watch TV and stuff, Jenny hits the house
(07:53):
looking for something to eat.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
Immediately, she's like she's searching just.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Like a kid coming home from school. As soon as
she walks in the door from the restaurant.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
If there's one person's metabolism, I'm envious of, it's hers
in this whole world. Yeah, she just crushed bar food
and now she's eating donuts, donuts.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Bar food and probably five beers at dinner.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
What a lucky bee.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
And then walks in the house looking for little debbies
and hostess cupcakes and whatever else and Joeyogo, I got
you some prizes, like a kid coming home from school. Yeah,
are the grandkids coming with them? Grand babies?
Speaker 3 (08:43):
She's the size of one.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Say uh, Michael, our bowl is up in that cabinet
right there, and he'll open this big bowl of skittles
and sweet Tarts and nerds and all that kind of shit.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
I get in this group of like could I have there?
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Believe me, I was in that. I was in the
middle of that eating with Jenny club. And that's that's
how I ended up with one foot in the grave
and the other on a banana. People looking like I
had a terminal case of whiplash. My neck was so fat.
(09:22):
I couldn't even turn it look like I was wearing
a skin neck brace.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Like my turtle neck.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Yeah, and she'll tell you that I'm no fun anymore, really, Yeah,
because I can't eat and drink with her like that.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
You can't win because then you're gonna hear that you're
not help me, and then you know.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
It's just like, yeah, believe me, though, I was happier
in the moment, eating and drinking alongside Jenny, of course,
when Jody wasn't bitching at me about it.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
Well, yeah, absolutely, that's true, that's probably.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
But I mean it was for my you know, for
the good of me. Absolutely, you need to stop. But
it's a it's a bad spot to be in because
I mean, legitimately, Jodie's worried about my health, but she
couldn't full on say you are so fat you need
(10:21):
to stay. Have you looked at yourself, If you really
looked at yourself, you would hate it. Yeah, but I
knew It's not like I didn't know. I knew it,
And yeah, I hate it every minute every bite that
went in my mouth, I was conscious of what it
was doing, right, But it tastes so damn good once it.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
Hits your lips.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
It's so good. You know what, there's another Monday right
around the corner. I can get started.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
I said it all the time, like I'm going to
start Monday.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Yeah. And you know what it took. The wake up
call for me was somebody paying me to endorse their
diet program.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Well, nothing wrong with that, nothing wrong with.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
It, nothing wrong with it. If you're going to be
motivated by something, let it be money.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Yeah. But I got to go today from a weekly
way in. I wish they could at least because and
then there's another guy at the at the news talk
station where I work, and he was the original endorser
for this this clinic and he lost ninety something pounds.
(11:32):
His name's Pete Calender. He lost ninety something pounds. So
he's the expert on the program, you know. So I
asked him one day, I said, how long will it
be until I don't have to go every week to
these way ins and and check ins and all that.
He said, until you reach your goal and then it's
every two weeks.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Oh great, super great.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
What I mean, as long as as they're paying me, right, sure,
you know that's part of the deal. You know, if
you're going to endorse it, you got to know everything
about it, you got to live the experience. And I
wasn't about to say it. Just just pay me. I'll
say whatever you want me to say. Sadly, I've never
(12:20):
been that way, and I've missed out on a lot
of money by having scruples. Yeah, looking back on it now,
it's kind of like Joan Jet after she got older,
she said, I was stupid not to not to let
people pay me to use I love rock and roll
in their commercials and stuff, and I thought I was,
you know, above that as an artist and everything. But
(12:41):
I missed out on millions of dollars. And She's like,
but now, if you want to use it, give me
a call. Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
But anyway, that's uh, that's about the excitement of my
life watching the people closest to me eat junk food.
I'm sad now, Yeah, I just in the comparison of
Jenny being a grandkid coming over and Jody going I
got surprises for you, I got you some snacks, or
(13:15):
coming in from school and heading straight looking for the snacks.
The only thing that she doesn't do in that in
that way is she doesn't climb up onto the cabinets,
looking to see what's going on. Yeah, what do you
got climbing up on the cabin she could though, Oh easily.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Easily, Yeah, spider jump up there.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
And then Joey's like, hang on a minute, I don't
kid it.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Eights Yeah wow, I get that.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Yeah. So you know, I always got their beer out
there and and whatever.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Snacks perfect, you know, because good for them.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Because Jodie wants grandchildren so badly.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
It sounds that way.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
We have grandchildren in their early forties.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
This is TJ Riggins Extra Funny. Get the latest Extra
Funny episode at tjiggins dot com, all major podcast platforms,
and on YouTube. Thank you for joining us. This is
TJ and Riggins