Episode Transcript
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Michele (00:00):
Good morning, it's
Tuesday, March 4th, and this is
Rise and Reign.
Welcome to the Rise and Reignpodcast, your five minutes a day
, five days a week, burst ofmorning inspiration.
Join me, Michele Kus, everyMonday through Friday as I bring
you a piping hot, fresh-bakeddaily Kus word.
(00:23):
Yeah, see what I did there?
Hello, hello.
So I got a text message fromAlabama yesterday morning in
response to yesterday's episodewhich said this: "love the
episode.
It spoke to me as a coach andfinding myself drifting into
perfection too often, can't waitto hear what you have to share
(00:45):
coming up.
" Well, first of all, thanksCoach from Alabama for texting
in.
And yes, perfectionism can be ahuge problem for those of us who
are kind of naturally bent inthat direction.
I know it's been a huge problemfor me over the years and this
is actually such an importanttopic that I decided to create
(01:05):
today's episode around thistopic of perfectionism.
So I titled this episode (01:08):
You
Don't Have to Be Perfect.
So sometimes perfectionism cancome from this place of fear or
insecurity.
Like you may have had childhoodexperiences where the love and
acceptance from others were kindof contingent upon your
performance or your achievementsrather than your innate
(01:33):
self-worth.
But it's not always linked tochildhood stress or trauma.
Sometimes certain personalitiesare just wired that way.
They tend to lean moreperfectionistic, and I know
that's definitely the case withme.
I'm kind of naturally wiredthat way.
So I've always had to pushagainst this a little bit and I
(01:56):
was pretty perfectionistic evenas a child.
And I remember my parents mymom especially would often do or
say little things to kind ofhelp me ease up on myself a
little bit.
And I remember once when I wasin eighth grade I had to bring
home this report to be signed bymy parents and it had all of A.
(02:29):
Who can relate to that?
So obviously I was embarrassedbut I gave this progress report
to my mom to be signed.
She looked at it, smiled, wrotesome stuff on there and handed
it back to me.
You want to know what she wrote?
She signed her name and then atthe bottom she wrote variety is
the spice of life! I love it,I'm here for it, and then she
(02:54):
put a smiley face.
So I think a lot of us considerperfectionism to be pretty
innocuous, like having ahangnail or something.
But depending on how pervasivethis is, it can actually be
pretty destructive in someone'slife.
So perfectionism itself is allan illusion.
(03:16):
It causes us to procrastinate,because if we can put off a
project till the very lastminute, then we don't have to
put any undue pressure onourselves for it to be perfect,
because we just need to likebang it out and power through
and get it done right.
So it's like this weird mindgame that we play with ourselves
(03:37):
and it causes us to overthinkthings.
It causes us to project thisflawless persona out into the
world that we never mess up ormake mistakes and that just uses
up a ton of psychologicalenergy, not to mention it makes
you a not fun person to bearound.
It causes us to second guessourselves way too much.
(04:00):
It causes us to hold ourselvesand others to these high, high
standards that are oftenimpossible to live up to.
It causes us to behypercritical of ourselves and
sometimes hypercritical ofothers too, which can be really
destructive in relationships.
(04:20):
And if we're not careful, itcan even cause us to miss our
purpose and our potential inlife, because hey, if we can't
do something perfectly, why eventry?
If I can't get this perfect,I'm not even going to bother
trying.
And that's just crazy If youthink of a baby who is learning
(04:42):
to walk.
If they take a step or two andthen stumble and fall, they
don't say like, oh, you knowwhat, I'm not good at this, I'm
just going to go try doingsomething else.
It's like no, that's ridiculous.
Like they keep at it and keepat it until they've figured it
out.
I heard a coach say once thatmost things in life do not need
(05:05):
to be done at 100%.
Okay, your resume needs to beperfect.
The book that you aresubmitting for publication needs
to be perfect.
When you're making your bed inthe morning, it does not need to
be perfect.
Do you get what I'm saying?
And some y'all are probablylike what is this making your
(05:27):
bed in the morning that youspeak of?
And if that's you, I say thisepisode is probably not for you.
There are things that should be100% and there's a lot of
things in life that you can getby with 75, 80%, 85%, and it's
(05:56):
fine.
So if perfectionism is trying torear its ugly head in your life
, try this.
Just say out loud (05:58):
"I can't do
anything unless I can do it
perfectly.
" And then I want you to laughand laugh and laugh, and laugh,
because that is the stupidestlie you've ever heard in your
(06:19):
entire life, and then I want youto go ahead and march forth
into your purpose.
Oh, yes, you knew it was comingMarch 4th.
All right, guys, that's what Igot for you today.
I hope you enjoyed today's Kusword.
Yes, that's a real hashtag Iuse on my socials.
If you enjoyed this episode,please share it with a friend
(06:40):
and send me a text message, likethe coach from Alabama did.
Just click the link in the shownotes that says send us a text
and you can text me all aboutsome of the ways that you have
tried to overcome perfectionism.
If that's been a struggle foryou.
Thanks for joining me today onthis perfectly imperfect podcast
(07:01):
and I will see you againtomorrow.