January 15, 2025 • 29 mins
What if you could navigate the complexities of human emotion with the guidance of a warm, non-judgmental figure? J
oin us as we welcome emotions expert and seasoned traveler John Rushton, who shares his unique creation, Auntie Bronwyn, a fictional character beloved by many for her empathetic insights.
Drawing from his extensive travels, John reveals how Auntie Bronwyn helps individuals from all walks of life embrace their emotions and embark on a journey of self-discovery. T
hrough his latest book, "The Anthology of Antti Bromwen," and engaging radio stories, John highlights the transformative power of storytelling and empathy in understanding ourselves.
Our exploration also leads us to the digital realm, where an online advice platform mirrors the classic "Dear Abby" style, offering straightforward guidance in a world cluttered by social media noise.
Listen in as we discuss how this platform has become a haven for authenticity, providing users with practical advice that cuts through societal pressures.
The discourse delves into the evolution of this space over a decade, underscoring the timelessness of genuine human connection and insight.
Excitingly, John hints at the potential for these stories to spring to life through animated adaptations, promising a multi-medium experience for the audience.
We round off our conversation by stressing the importance of self-prioritization. John passionately discusses how valuing oneself as the most significant figure in one's life fosters an invincible inner strength that benefits not only the individual but also those around them.
By embracing self-worth, we enable ourselves to better support others. The episode concludes with a heartfelt exchange of gratitude for the rich discussion, leaving listeners with a renewed perspective on personal value and the shared human experience.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome to why Not Me , the World?
Podcast, hosted by Tony Mantor,Broadcasting from Music City,
USA, Nashville, Tennessee.
Join us as our guests tell ustheir stories.
Some will make you laugh, somewill make you cry.
Their stories Some will makeyou laugh, some will make you
(00:28):
cry.
Real life people who willinspire and show that you are
not alone in this world.
Hopefully, you gain moreawareness, acceptance and a
better understanding for autismaround the world.
Hi, I'm Tony Manter.
(00:53):
Welcome to why Not Me, theWorld.
Join us today.
As emotions expert and author,John Rushton shares his
experiences from over 40 yearsof global travel, revealing that
people from diverse backgroundsface remarkably similar
challenges.
He has recently completed abook featuring a fictional
character named Antti Bromwen,who provides a safe space for
(01:16):
individuals to expressthemselves candidly.
The book entitled the Anthologyof Antti Bromwen explores a
wide range of thought-provokingtopics.
His stories are remarkable andwe're just so glad to have him
on.
Thanks for coming on.
My pleasure.
Indeed, it's my understandingthat you've written a book.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Yes, yes, I've written a few actually, but I've
got a recent one.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Can we get a little insight on your most recent book
and what it's about?
Speaker 2 (01:43):
There's a story to it but it's a long story but I
won't go into that.
But it's a story about people'saspects of people's lives and
it came about from my sort ofprevious books which are all
about emotions, why people dowhat they do or maybe they
shouldn't do what they do.
This came to some radioprograms which I was on and
(02:08):
people were phoning in aboutvarious aspects of their lives,
I mean not just oh, I feel like,not that kind of, but I mean
real problems which they werehaving to overcome themselves,
some with other people, families, friends, whatever and it came
to a level where it wasdifficult to respond to them all
from a personal point of view,because everybody today is
(02:30):
waiting to be offended or upsetor something like that.
You know they're accused ofpeople oh, I'm me next, me next,
please offend me, and all thatkind of thing.
So we came up one evening withsome friends and maybe a couple
of glasses of wine that we wouldactually have a fictitious
character and the formulated oneI would call her Auntie Bronwyn
(02:54):
, and we created her characterand her background pedigree.
And she was an elderly lady whohas been around, done it, seen
it, got the t-shirt, the beanie,cap, everything.
And now she's come home toretire but she doesn't want to
give up life.
(03:15):
She's full of life and wisdomand she likes her gin and tonic
late afternoon.
So she's everybody's sort offavorite aunt.
But she doesn't take anyrubbish from anyone.
She will say exactly what.
It is not necessarily beingoffensive, but she will say
exactly what it is and how itshould be.
She won't tell you what to do,but she'll say you know why on
(03:37):
earth did you do that?
And then when you do that, theperson who's actually asking you
the question has to explainthemselves and normally the
answer comes out why theyexplain themselves.
And we did this.
And it was so interesting thatwe decided or I decided to make
a book of the transcripts of allthe radio interviews that we'd
(03:58):
had.
And there were some amazingpeople, some quite sort of taboo
subjects as well, but they wentfor it.
You know, we would listen andwe would get other people's
aspects of life as to why ithappened, how it happened.
And sometimes it was quite sortof heart-wrenching as to how it
(04:18):
happened and why it happened,completely different from a
viewpoint where you were sayingwhat about this?
Oh, I don't like that, you know, but have you heard it?
No, so you say, well, justlisten and then I'll make your
judgment.
And so this is the book whichis coming out shortly.
I think it's 150, 160 chapters,so it's 160 different stories
of people's lives and how theycame about changing their lives
(04:43):
themselves.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
When you hear people that call in, they tell you
about their lives.
They go into different thingsthat happens during their life.
How do you react to that?
I mean, you've got an unknownperson calling in bearing their
souls to you of their deepestheartfelt feelings and emotions,
so how does that affect you?
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Maybe I'm just thick-skinned, but I don't know.
But quickly, I think within thefirst couple of minutes, you
know the kind of person.
As to what some people justwant to air a view about
themselves, If you gave themthree days airtime, they would
be there three days nonstoptalking about themselves.
If you gave them three daysairtime, they would be there
three days nonstop talking aboutit.
(05:28):
Other people just want to talkabout an aspect of life which is
troubling them, and usually youfind the people who have that
minuscule part, that aspect oflife, are the ones who are the
most interesting.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
That's very interesting.
I think I'm going to have youexpand on that, because when
people are having problemswithin their lives, they either
go to a therapist or closefriends and then sometimes the
best therapy they can get fortheir mental health is talking
with someone just like yourselfthat they don't know but have
(06:03):
respect for what you've done.
And then they tell you theirstories, where they have their
emotions on their sleeves, asthey would say, and then you
react, give them information andthen hopefully it's helped them
to move on with their lifethat's absolutely bang on and
that's why we actually developedAuntie Bronwyn, this inanimate
(06:24):
person, and we found peoplewould actually talk more in
depth to Auntie Bronwyn online.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
I mean, they couldn't see it, they could see a
caricature.
And then when she replied,sometimes making fun of them, I
mean not nastily, but saying whydid you do that?
What were you thinking of atthe time?
Don't you think that sounded abit stupid?
And there's a silence and thensometimes they burst out
laughing.
Well, it was, but I did it.
All of a sudden you have thiswarm rapport which comes out and
(06:55):
it's a free, as opposed to metelling you and you telling me
and all of this kind of thingand it's quite sort of elevating
.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Have you had any people that have contacted you?
You listened to their problems,you listened to what they had
to say.
Then you kind of thought thatmaybe they had more issues than
what you wanted to deal with,but you kept working with them,
talking with them, and then allof a sudden things just changed.
(07:26):
They changed their way, whichmade you feel like you had
really helped them move forwardwith their life.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Yes, I think quite often people have a list of
things.
It's like going to the doctorand saying, doctor, I've got
something wrong with my finger,and they're winning.
Oh, by the way, I have this anda rash here, and a spot there
and something, and it goes onand on and on, and it's a bit
like that at times.
You find, as you just said, ifyou just go through the first
(07:56):
couple of layers, then the restseems insignificant.
If you actually tell themsomething to the effect that,
well, look, there's one enormousthing in life which can help
you, which will make youovercome all of your problems,
which will give you the strengthand the courage to go forward,
(08:17):
and it's called you Go and lookin the mirror and see that
person and think, wow, I amfantastic, I am brilliant, I am
brilliant, I'm going to come outover on top of all this.
And sometimes it doesn't happenwith everybody, but a lot of
people, by putting similarthings in front of them, they
realize that you know, whatthey're telling me is all about
(08:40):
them, which is quite right, butit is all about them.
There's no person there tosolve it by themselves.
You know, the world isn't amerchant want out there.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Yeah right, that's so true.
Have you had anyone that's cometo you where you just thought I
don't know what to do with them?
They are just so far off center.
They really truly needed someprofessional help.
How did you handle that if youhad a situation like that?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
I'm quite blunt or anti-Bronwyn's quite blunt and
saying you know, because somepeople come to you telling you
really what is wrong with themand within that framework,
they're also telling you whatthey want in return.
No, I'm not well and I want youto do this for me basically
(09:29):
which of course will neverhappen and I know quite often
say, well, what I'm actuallypicking up from you and I give
you all my sympathy and respectand love and everything else.
But I think you need help, overand above what I can give you,
because it seems you're in sucha place where I'm not qualified
to go there or understand whereyou're from.
(09:51):
And sometimes, when you saidthat they backed down like a
million miles, well, becausewhat has happened?
They've built up, they're goingto come on the radio, so
they've been on the phone or onthe PC or whatever, and they
built up a scenario as an entreein their own mind.
(10:13):
It's grown and grown.
When I get online, I'm going totell them I'm okay, you're
online and it out, it comes andit's just like the damn gates
opening.
You know, it's more than yourfaucet in your kitchen or your
bathroom.
It just comes gushing out inmillions of gallons.
(10:35):
And when you say that and yousay, well, I sorry, I can't help
you.
They suddenly back, most ofthem suddenly back down and
they're quite meek and mildafter that and it's not as a lot
of its own fabrication of theirown worth and value and their
own problems, and it's almostselfishness, like everything is
(10:58):
about me.
Of course there's a degree ofit's got to be about you,
because nobody else can be aboutyou, but it's always.
You know so much, everything isabout me my friends, my family,
the world, everything.
Why do they do this to me?
How can they do this to me?
And the answer is quite easilyBecause it's not about you.
(11:20):
It's how you react to what ishappening when you're not
reacting well to anything.
This is your own making andthat's sobering.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
When you've been on the radio you've had people call
in.
Have you had instances whereyou could actually hear the pain
in their voice in what they'regoing through?
And you could actually hear thepain in their voice in what
they're going through and youcould tell that it was real, and
so real that you had to justtake a deep breath and stop for
a second to formulate youranswer so you didn't push them
over the edge and you couldstill help them.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
I have and sometimes you can hear what they are not
saying and and quite often it'sthe people who are not saying
fully, they're being quite niceabout their pain and everything
else.
They're not screaming andsobbing and deep breaths and
gesticulating and all of thisyou can say.
(12:11):
They're saying it in such asort of pleasant way and on a
number of occasions I've said oh, susan or Brian or whoever do
you know, if I was there I wouldgive you the biggest hug ever,
and then the tears start.
Then it's all gone.
I said, all right, in your owntime, just say bit by bit what
(12:34):
it is and afterwards invariablyend up with, when you say
goodbye, that you're laughing toeach other on the line.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
So you've created this online form where they can
send you emails and questionsfor the show.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Do you find yourself getting a wide range of
questions that will be asked toyou, because in the States we
have a Dear Abby.
This was questions and answersthat was in the papers where
they send in questions and thenDear Abby would give them advice
on what she thought that theyshould do.
(13:12):
Yes, she passed away and thenher daughter took it over and I
still believe that it runs inselect papers across the country
.
So do you see a similaritybetween our dear abby and the
one that you created in the uk?
Quite similar, quite similar.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Um, the responses are very.
You get some weird people onboard anyway.
Hey, that's just par for thecourse.
And you get also those peoplewho want to tell you their life
story, you know, and you can'tget more than 25 pages before it
cuts off and other people willgive you two paragraphs or a
paragraph.
It's quite succinct.
(13:50):
Those are the people who youfind you can help the most
because they don't waffle, theydon't tell you about the weather
and when they were going to thestore and someone smiled at
them and they wondered why.
And now they're going totherapy and all this business.
The entrepreneur is quite sharpwith their answers because
there's no good humoring people,because that gets you
(14:11):
absolutely nowhere.
I mean, they may not like it,but that's not a problem anyway,
so don't like it.
Next, for those in between, wehad some very, very good
responses back saying well, Itook your advice.
I didn't want to, but I tookyour.
Well, it wasn't.
We would suggest we took yoursuggestions and it's changed
(14:31):
immeasurably.
It really does work.
I do feel better, I feel morein charge of my life and
sometimes they're very simplethings.
But you've got so wrapped up init, it's become habitual and
it's sort of trying to pull outof the habit.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
How long have you been doing this online form as
it is today?
On and off about 10 years.
In the 10 years that you'vebeen doing this, what kind of
changes have you seen from whenyou started to the way it is
today and the way they form andphrase the questions that they
(15:10):
ask you?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
I think I can honestly say about 10 years ago,
when I started, people weremore wholesome, they were more
down to earth, they were morebrisk with what they had to say.
They had a problem and theytold you the problem and that
was it.
Today there's so much socialengineering picked up from
(15:32):
Instagram and Facebook and somany people telling you have you
got this, have you got that?
Get this.
This will help you do this.
You know, did you fall down andhurt yourself?
When you're at school?
You may be suffering fromtrauma.
I'm 74 years of age.
Hello, you know, haven't you gotover it yet?
It's a bit late now and all ofthese kind of things and they
(15:54):
put all I think where did youget all this from?
Is that true or are you justcopying and pasting it mentally
from somewhere else?
Because there's a lot of copyand paste.
You know, they've heard phrasesand sayings from the internet
and they're reciting them.
It's not smart, it's not good,it has no bearing on you.
It's just something you thinksounds good, and that's a bit of
(16:15):
rubbish, because it may soundgood but it doesn't go anywhere.
Once you've got through allthat and people have told you
that they said well that youremail sounds absolutely amazing,
but I don't believe any of itat all.
This is not you talking, you'reyou're giving snippets of
everybody else.
So whose life are you living?
Yours or somebody else's?
(16:36):
And well, they said.
Well, I don't care what theysaid, you know, if they died
tomorrow, you would still keepon living.
So what is the problem?
It's just getting really downto brass tacks.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
So the book's been written and it's ready to go.
When is the release date for it?
Speaker 2 (16:53):
And it should have been this month, November, but
we're hoping it will be sort ofmid-December oh, that's great.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
So where do you see this going?
What type of person do youanticipate is going to be the
ones to go out and purchase thisand read it?
Because you've got all kinds ofstories with different issues
that people have gone through.
So what are you anticipating onthat front?
Speaker 2 (17:21):
I think there are three areas.
There's the one, the personwho's interested in sort of
people's lives or socialunderstanding of people.
There's the person who likes totravel, because you can pick up
the book and you can travel andread one chapter or chapter one
.
Pick up the book and you cantravel and read one chapter or
chapter one, then chapter 14,then chapter 73, then chapter
(17:47):
122, and then go back, so youcan pick and choose from the
index and what you wish to read.
And then there's the otherperson who really just wants a
sort of a more groundingknowledge of a wide specter of
the population as to how theythink and feel.
When you've read a few, I mean,from the people I've shown to
already, they said well, I neverthought of that.
Gosh, that's opened my eyes abit.
(18:07):
I never even realized thatpeople like that would think
like that and there isn't.
You know.
And why not?
Well, it's because a lot oftimes things don't cross your
mind.
You're living your life as bestyou can and you're not going
around being an amateurpsychologist to everybody around
you in the store, your friends,your family or whatever.
You have a thing called to live, which is called your own life,
(18:30):
and that's the most importantthing, because if you're not
important to yourself, thennobody else will be.
And so it's just those threethings.
If we even had an interest, um,in a company doing some
animation, basically sort ofsimpsons style, but not not like
that, having characters andcaricatures of the characters
(18:54):
involved in various aspects.
So there was one in particular.
There was an elderly couple,and this is a religious thing,
and the husband kept the wifealmost locked in at home.
He would allow her to go to thestore, and she was 45 minutes
and any more than that, and hewould hit her and everything
(19:14):
else.
Anyway, this went on and oneday she had enough.
She just got up, literally withher purse, and left, and she
was walking up and down the roadoutside a coffee shop and there
was a woman inside and she saidto her friend, do you know,
I've seen this woman walking upand down half a dozen times.
She just goes there.
(19:35):
And of course the woman didn'tknow what to do, she didn't know
where to go, she had no freedom, she didn't know who was who,
what's what, and so she went outand asked her and said are you
all right?
She said no, I'm not.
She said I'm lost.
She said where do you live?
She said around the corner.
She said I've never beenfurther, found her son and her
(20:00):
son came and took her in and nowshe's absolutely enjoying a
fabulous life.
And there are lots of sort ofstories similar to that, where
people have just said enough isenough, and they haven't gone
hysterical or going mental,they've just got up and moved.
There's only one person can dothis me.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
that's such a great story when, when we think of
mental health, we think autism,adhd, bipolar and all those
things.
Yes, we don't think aboutmental health being just the
everyday burdens of life thatsome people have to go through.
Yes, that's it.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Well, that's what the book contains a lot of sort of
everyday aspects of life whichfor some don't go well, of
everyday aspects of life whichfor some don't go well, and it's
not mental health.
I mean, both parties are allright, but one has a controlling
interest in the other or someother aspect and it's that
person just saying I've hadenough, I'm going, I don't care
(20:51):
why, how I'm going, and they go.
And it's quite a revelation inwhat they say and do and it's
quite inspirational even tomyself that they do that.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Yeah, stress and outside burdens like that put so
much on a person and that canaffect their mental health, just
like anything else can.
It comes down to, like you saidbefore, how they view
themselves, how they view theworld, ultimately, how they view
themselves in that world.
Hopefully, stories like thatthat you're telling and they're
(21:25):
reading will give them theinspiration to change their
lives as well.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Yes, yes, yes.
Well, there are quite a fewlike that in the book in
different aspects, and that'sone of the reasons why I thought
I ought to put this down, pento paper and put the transcripts
down, because I thought theywere inspiring and a lot of
these people were not loud orbrash or anything, but they just
(21:53):
had enough.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Yeah, absolutely.
Now, you've been on TV, you'vebeen on radio, you've done all
the press and all that.
Have you done book signingswhere people have come up to
meet you, where some of thepeople that told their stories,
that made it into the book yougot to meet face to face?
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I haven't, because my other books were launched and
there were no book signings atall, but this one we are going
to because we have a lot ofinterested parties, similar to
what I've just said to you, whoare interested in these aspects
and they think it would be very,very good to make it available
just for other people to read.
(22:33):
And I think, as you said, wow,that's me, that's me to a T.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Yeah, that's pretty awesome.
Actually, I think this will bea completely different scenario
for you, because you're going toget a chance to meet some of
these people.
That will give you a completelydifferent perspective, rather
than reading something that yousee in the forum yes, or from
the ones that called in.
(22:59):
I mean, you can feel the painthrough words.
You can feel the pain throughthem calling in.
This time it might be a littlebit different because you'll
actually see it in their face asthey tell you their stories
again.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Yes, yes, yes.
Well, the few people I sent thebook to for sort of reading
prior to getting it publishedcame back and I was quite
actually surprised at what theysaid.
It was quite an emotional thingbecause some of them resonated
with quite a few things in thebook, and then they also said on
things which they had neverthought of before oh, I never
(23:36):
gosh, I never realized that, orit never came to mind.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Yeah, yeah, I get that.
You know, people are all thesame.
It doesn't matter whetherthey're from the US, the UK,
europe, australia, people aroundthe world are pretty much the
same they are.
People don't realize this.
They think they're differentbecause they're from someplace
else, but they're really not.
(24:01):
They may speak different, theymay have different things they
do from day-to-day life.
Pretty much no matter wherewe're from, we're all the same.
We all have the same problems.
The only difference is thelocation that we live and how
the country handles it.
Yes, yes, the beauty of thisbook, as I see it, is that it
(24:22):
has common sense practices.
You give great ideas and greatresolutions.
People have the same problemsworldwide, so hopefully someone
reads this, no matter where theylive, gathers something from it
and it helps them so that theycan move forward with their life
wherever they are.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Well, in my previous life, um, I was traveling a lot
around the world, so I've beento africa, india, china, south
america, europe, across thestates, canada, new zealand,
indian ocean islands, all ofthese things and I was doing
that because of my job and I wastraveling nonstop, and just
(25:02):
what you said was absolutelyspot on.
Everybody in every country hasthe same problems.
It's just that they deal withthem differently.
In Africa, they have a lot ofcultural differences, so they
deal with things because ofcultural differences.
In the Middle East, because oftheir religious things, they
deal with things in a differentway, but it's the same problem.
(25:25):
One thing I mentioned about thelady who actually broke free it
was an Islamic family and it wasa very tight Islamic sort of
control of women and men and allthat kind of thing, and she
didn't and she couldn't and allthis, these false barriers which
are created in your mind Untilthat day she broke them and now
(25:50):
she is well.
I mean, this is going back awhile now, but since she
actually broke free and she wentto live with her son, you would
never recognize her at all.
She's a completely new woman, Imean, and she's actually
enjoying life.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Oh, that's just great .
I mean that's really great.
What do you see for yourself inthe next three to five years?
What's your future hold?
Speaker 2 (26:15):
I would like to develop um more on on this book.
I've actually got another onein the pipeline which I've been
writing um on a slightlydifferent level, but it's it's
the same basic content, becauseI think it's quite cathartic
listening to what other peoplehave done, as opposed to having
(26:37):
somebody who's a psychiatrist orpsychologist telling you this
and that and that and that andyou should do this and you
should do that, because a lot ofthem are not quite right
themselves, to be honest, and so, but getting it firsthand from
people who've done it, seen it,got the t-shirt, the car sticker
, the cuddly toy and everything,they've done that from the
(26:57):
heart.
It's absolutely 100% accurateand that is where the real
inspiration comes.
Someone's done it and you thinkmy God, if you can do that, so
can I.
I'm in a better position thanyou, but I'm going to do it.
I think it's good.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Oh, absolutely.
What would you like to leave uswith that we might not have
touched upon?
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Just based on the book and the people in it, the
most important person in theentire world is yourself.
If you're not the mostimportant person, are you the
second, third, fourth mostimportant person.
When you're number one and youdon't have to have riches and
grandeur when you're number one,you can help everybody,
(27:42):
including yourself.
If you're less than that,you're not doing yourself any
justice.
When you become number one,you're invincible.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Absolutely.
I like it.
This has been great, greatconversation, great information.
I really appreciate you comingon my pleasure, indeed Very much
so.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
I've enjoyed it too.
Thank you for the excellentquestions.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
It's been my pleasure .
You, you, you.
Welcome to why Not Me , the World?
Podcast, hosted by Tony Mantor,Broadcasting from Music City,
USA, Nashville, Tennessee.
Join us as our guests tell ustheir stories.
Some will make you laugh, somewill make you cry.
Their stories Some will makeyou laugh, some will make you
(00:28):
cry.
Real life people who willinspire and show that you are
not alone in this world.
Hopefully, you gain moreawareness, acceptance and a
better understanding for autismaround the world.
Hi, I'm Tony Manter.
(00:53):
Welcome to why Not Me, theWorld.
Join us today.
As emotions expert and author,John Rushton shares his
experiences from over 40 yearsof global travel, revealing that
people from diverse backgroundsface remarkably similar
challenges.
He has recently completed abook featuring a fictional
character named Antti Bromwen,who provides a safe space for
(01:16):
individuals to expressthemselves candidly.
The book entitled the Anthologyof Antti Bromwen explores a
wide range of thought-provokingtopics.
His stories are remarkable andwe're just so glad to have him
on.
Thanks for coming on.
My pleasure.
Indeed, it's my understandingthat you've written a book.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Yes, yes, I've written a few actually, but I've
got a recent one.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Can we get a little insight on your most recent book
and what it's about?
Speaker 2 (01:43):
There's a story to it but it's a long story but I
won't go into that.
But it's a story about people'saspects of people's lives and
it came about from my sort ofprevious books which are all
about emotions, why people dowhat they do or maybe they
shouldn't do what they do.
This came to some radioprograms which I was on and
(02:08):
people were phoning in aboutvarious aspects of their lives,
I mean not just oh, I feel like,not that kind of, but I mean
real problems which they werehaving to overcome themselves,
some with other people, families, friends, whatever and it came
to a level where it wasdifficult to respond to them all
from a personal point of view,because everybody today is
(02:30):
waiting to be offended or upsetor something like that.
You know they're accused ofpeople oh, I'm me next, me next,
please offend me, and all thatkind of thing.
So we came up one evening withsome friends and maybe a couple
of glasses of wine that we wouldactually have a fictitious
character and the formulated oneI would call her Auntie Bronwyn
(02:54):
, and we created her characterand her background pedigree.
And she was an elderly lady whohas been around, done it, seen
it, got the t-shirt, the beanie,cap, everything.
And now she's come home toretire but she doesn't want to
give up life.
(03:15):
She's full of life and wisdomand she likes her gin and tonic
late afternoon.
So she's everybody's sort offavorite aunt.
But she doesn't take anyrubbish from anyone.
She will say exactly what.
It is not necessarily beingoffensive, but she will say
exactly what it is and how itshould be.
She won't tell you what to do,but she'll say you know why on
(03:37):
earth did you do that?
And then when you do that, theperson who's actually asking you
the question has to explainthemselves and normally the
answer comes out why theyexplain themselves.
And we did this.
And it was so interesting thatwe decided or I decided to make
a book of the transcripts of allthe radio interviews that we'd
(03:58):
had.
And there were some amazingpeople, some quite sort of taboo
subjects as well, but they wentfor it.
You know, we would listen andwe would get other people's
aspects of life as to why ithappened, how it happened.
And sometimes it was quite sortof heart-wrenching as to how it
(04:18):
happened and why it happened,completely different from a
viewpoint where you were sayingwhat about this?
Oh, I don't like that, you know, but have you heard it?
No, so you say, well, justlisten and then I'll make your
judgment.
And so this is the book whichis coming out shortly.
I think it's 150, 160 chapters,so it's 160 different stories
of people's lives and how theycame about changing their lives
(04:43):
themselves.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
When you hear people that call in, they tell you
about their lives.
They go into different thingsthat happens during their life.
How do you react to that?
I mean, you've got an unknownperson calling in bearing their
souls to you of their deepestheartfelt feelings and emotions,
so how does that affect you?
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Maybe I'm just thick-skinned, but I don't know.
But quickly, I think within thefirst couple of minutes, you
know the kind of person.
As to what some people justwant to air a view about
themselves, If you gave themthree days airtime, they would
be there three days nonstoptalking about themselves.
If you gave them three daysairtime, they would be there
three days nonstop talking aboutit.
(05:28):
Other people just want to talkabout an aspect of life which is
troubling them, and usually youfind the people who have that
minuscule part, that aspect oflife, are the ones who are the
most interesting.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
That's very interesting.
I think I'm going to have youexpand on that, because when
people are having problemswithin their lives, they either
go to a therapist or closefriends and then sometimes the
best therapy they can get fortheir mental health is talking
with someone just like yourselfthat they don't know but have
(06:03):
respect for what you've done.
And then they tell you theirstories, where they have their
emotions on their sleeves, asthey would say, and then you
react, give them information andthen hopefully it's helped them
to move on with their lifethat's absolutely bang on and
that's why we actually developedAuntie Bronwyn, this inanimate
(06:24):
person, and we found peoplewould actually talk more in
depth to Auntie Bronwyn online.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
I mean, they couldn't see it, they could see a
caricature.
And then when she replied,sometimes making fun of them, I
mean not nastily, but saying whydid you do that?
What were you thinking of atthe time?
Don't you think that sounded abit stupid?
And there's a silence and thensometimes they burst out
laughing.
Well, it was, but I did it.
All of a sudden you have thiswarm rapport which comes out and
(06:55):
it's a free, as opposed to metelling you and you telling me
and all of this kind of thingand it's quite sort of elevating
.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Have you had any people that have contacted you?
You listened to their problems,you listened to what they had
to say.
Then you kind of thought thatmaybe they had more issues than
what you wanted to deal with,but you kept working with them,
talking with them, and then allof a sudden things just changed.
(07:26):
They changed their way, whichmade you feel like you had
really helped them move forwardwith their life.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Yes, I think quite often people have a list of
things.
It's like going to the doctorand saying, doctor, I've got
something wrong with my finger,and they're winning.
Oh, by the way, I have this anda rash here, and a spot there
and something, and it goes onand on and on, and it's a bit
like that at times.
You find, as you just said, ifyou just go through the first
(07:56):
couple of layers, then the restseems insignificant.
If you actually tell themsomething to the effect that,
well, look, there's one enormousthing in life which can help
you, which will make youovercome all of your problems,
which will give you the strengthand the courage to go forward,
(08:17):
and it's called you Go and lookin the mirror and see that
person and think, wow, I amfantastic, I am brilliant, I am
brilliant, I'm going to come outover on top of all this.
And sometimes it doesn't happenwith everybody, but a lot of
people, by putting similarthings in front of them, they
realize that you know, whatthey're telling me is all about
(08:40):
them, which is quite right, butit is all about them.
There's no person there tosolve it by themselves.
You know, the world isn't amerchant want out there.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Yeah right, that's so true.
Have you had anyone that's cometo you where you just thought I
don't know what to do with them?
They are just so far off center.
They really truly needed someprofessional help.
How did you handle that if youhad a situation like that?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
I'm quite blunt or anti-Bronwyn's quite blunt and
saying you know, because somepeople come to you telling you
really what is wrong with themand within that framework,
they're also telling you whatthey want in return.
No, I'm not well and I want youto do this for me basically
(09:29):
which of course will neverhappen and I know quite often
say, well, what I'm actuallypicking up from you and I give
you all my sympathy and respectand love and everything else.
But I think you need help, overand above what I can give you,
because it seems you're in sucha place where I'm not qualified
to go there or understand whereyou're from.
(09:51):
And sometimes, when you saidthat they backed down like a
million miles, well, becausewhat has happened?
They've built up, they're goingto come on the radio, so
they've been on the phone or onthe PC or whatever, and they
built up a scenario as an entreein their own mind.
(10:13):
It's grown and grown.
When I get online, I'm going totell them I'm okay, you're
online and it out, it comes andit's just like the damn gates
opening.
You know, it's more than yourfaucet in your kitchen or your
bathroom.
It just comes gushing out inmillions of gallons.
(10:35):
And when you say that and yousay, well, I sorry, I can't help
you.
They suddenly back, most ofthem suddenly back down and
they're quite meek and mildafter that and it's not as a lot
of its own fabrication of theirown worth and value and their
own problems, and it's almostselfishness, like everything is
(10:58):
about me.
Of course there's a degree ofit's got to be about you,
because nobody else can be aboutyou, but it's always.
You know so much, everything isabout me my friends, my family,
the world, everything.
Why do they do this to me?
How can they do this to me?
And the answer is quite easilyBecause it's not about you.
(11:20):
It's how you react to what ishappening when you're not
reacting well to anything.
This is your own making andthat's sobering.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
When you've been on the radio you've had people call
in.
Have you had instances whereyou could actually hear the pain
in their voice in what they'regoing through?
And you could actually hear thepain in their voice in what
they're going through and youcould tell that it was real, and
so real that you had to justtake a deep breath and stop for
a second to formulate youranswer so you didn't push them
over the edge and you couldstill help them.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
I have and sometimes you can hear what they are not
saying and and quite often it'sthe people who are not saying
fully, they're being quite niceabout their pain and everything
else.
They're not screaming andsobbing and deep breaths and
gesticulating and all of thisyou can say.
(12:11):
They're saying it in such asort of pleasant way and on a
number of occasions I've said oh, susan or Brian or whoever do
you know, if I was there I wouldgive you the biggest hug ever,
and then the tears start.
Then it's all gone.
I said, all right, in your owntime, just say bit by bit what
(12:34):
it is and afterwards invariablyend up with, when you say
goodbye, that you're laughing toeach other on the line.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
So you've created this online form where they can
send you emails and questionsfor the show.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Do you find yourself getting a wide range of
questions that will be asked toyou, because in the States we
have a Dear Abby.
This was questions and answersthat was in the papers where
they send in questions and thenDear Abby would give them advice
on what she thought that theyshould do.
(13:12):
Yes, she passed away and thenher daughter took it over and I
still believe that it runs inselect papers across the country
.
So do you see a similaritybetween our dear abby and the
one that you created in the uk?
Quite similar, quite similar.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Um, the responses are very.
You get some weird people onboard anyway.
Hey, that's just par for thecourse.
And you get also those peoplewho want to tell you their life
story, you know, and you can'tget more than 25 pages before it
cuts off and other people willgive you two paragraphs or a
paragraph.
It's quite succinct.
(13:50):
Those are the people who youfind you can help the most
because they don't waffle, theydon't tell you about the weather
and when they were going to thestore and someone smiled at
them and they wondered why.
And now they're going totherapy and all this business.
The entrepreneur is quite sharpwith their answers because
there's no good humoring people,because that gets you
(14:11):
absolutely nowhere.
I mean, they may not like it,but that's not a problem anyway,
so don't like it.
Next, for those in between, wehad some very, very good
responses back saying well, Itook your advice.
I didn't want to, but I tookyour.
Well, it wasn't.
We would suggest we took yoursuggestions and it's changed
(14:31):
immeasurably.
It really does work.
I do feel better, I feel morein charge of my life and
sometimes they're very simplethings.
But you've got so wrapped up init, it's become habitual and
it's sort of trying to pull outof the habit.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
How long have you been doing this online form as
it is today?
On and off about 10 years.
In the 10 years that you'vebeen doing this, what kind of
changes have you seen from whenyou started to the way it is
today and the way they form andphrase the questions that they
(15:10):
ask you?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
I think I can honestly say about 10 years ago,
when I started, people weremore wholesome, they were more
down to earth, they were morebrisk with what they had to say.
They had a problem and theytold you the problem and that
was it.
Today there's so much socialengineering picked up from
(15:32):
Instagram and Facebook and somany people telling you have you
got this, have you got that?
Get this.
This will help you do this.
You know, did you fall down andhurt yourself?
When you're at school?
You may be suffering fromtrauma.
I'm 74 years of age.
Hello, you know, haven't you gotover it yet?
It's a bit late now and all ofthese kind of things and they
(15:54):
put all I think where did youget all this from?
Is that true or are you justcopying and pasting it mentally
from somewhere else?
Because there's a lot of copyand paste.
You know, they've heard phrasesand sayings from the internet
and they're reciting them.
It's not smart, it's not good,it has no bearing on you.
It's just something you thinksounds good, and that's a bit of
(16:15):
rubbish, because it may soundgood but it doesn't go anywhere.
Once you've got through allthat and people have told you
that they said well that youremail sounds absolutely amazing,
but I don't believe any of itat all.
This is not you talking, you'reyou're giving snippets of
everybody else.
So whose life are you living?
Yours or somebody else's?
(16:36):
And well, they said.
Well, I don't care what theysaid, you know, if they died
tomorrow, you would still keepon living.
So what is the problem?
It's just getting really downto brass tacks.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
So the book's been written and it's ready to go.
When is the release date for it?
Speaker 2 (16:53):
And it should have been this month, November, but
we're hoping it will be sort ofmid-December oh, that's great.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
So where do you see this going?
What type of person do youanticipate is going to be the
ones to go out and purchase thisand read it?
Because you've got all kinds ofstories with different issues
that people have gone through.
So what are you anticipating onthat front?
Speaker 2 (17:21):
I think there are three areas.
There's the one, the personwho's interested in sort of
people's lives or socialunderstanding of people.
There's the person who likes totravel, because you can pick up
the book and you can travel andread one chapter or chapter one
.
Pick up the book and you cantravel and read one chapter or
chapter one, then chapter 14,then chapter 73, then chapter
(17:47):
122, and then go back, so youcan pick and choose from the
index and what you wish to read.
And then there's the otherperson who really just wants a
sort of a more groundingknowledge of a wide specter of
the population as to how theythink and feel.
When you've read a few, I mean,from the people I've shown to
already, they said well, I neverthought of that.
Gosh, that's opened my eyes abit.
(18:07):
I never even realized thatpeople like that would think
like that and there isn't.
You know.
And why not?
Well, it's because a lot oftimes things don't cross your
mind.
You're living your life as bestyou can and you're not going
around being an amateurpsychologist to everybody around
you in the store, your friends,your family or whatever.
You have a thing called to live, which is called your own life,
(18:30):
and that's the most importantthing, because if you're not
important to yourself, thennobody else will be.
And so it's just those threethings.
If we even had an interest, um,in a company doing some
animation, basically sort ofsimpsons style, but not not like
that, having characters andcaricatures of the characters
(18:54):
involved in various aspects.
So there was one in particular.
There was an elderly couple,and this is a religious thing,
and the husband kept the wifealmost locked in at home.
He would allow her to go to thestore, and she was 45 minutes
and any more than that, and hewould hit her and everything
(19:14):
else.
Anyway, this went on and oneday she had enough.
She just got up, literally withher purse, and left, and she
was walking up and down the roadoutside a coffee shop and there
was a woman inside and she saidto her friend, do you know,
I've seen this woman walking upand down half a dozen times.
She just goes there.
(19:35):
And of course the woman didn'tknow what to do, she didn't know
where to go, she had no freedom, she didn't know who was who,
what's what, and so she went outand asked her and said are you
all right?
She said no, I'm not.
She said I'm lost.
She said where do you live?
She said around the corner.
She said I've never beenfurther, found her son and her
(20:00):
son came and took her in and nowshe's absolutely enjoying a
fabulous life.
And there are lots of sort ofstories similar to that, where
people have just said enough isenough, and they haven't gone
hysterical or going mental,they've just got up and moved.
There's only one person can dothis me.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
that's such a great story when, when we think of
mental health, we think autism,adhd, bipolar and all those
things.
Yes, we don't think aboutmental health being just the
everyday burdens of life thatsome people have to go through.
Yes, that's it.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Well, that's what the book contains a lot of sort of
everyday aspects of life whichfor some don't go well, of
everyday aspects of life whichfor some don't go well, and it's
not mental health.
I mean, both parties are allright, but one has a controlling
interest in the other or someother aspect and it's that
person just saying I've hadenough, I'm going, I don't care
(20:51):
why, how I'm going, and they go.
And it's quite a revelation inwhat they say and do and it's
quite inspirational even tomyself that they do that.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Yeah, stress and outside burdens like that put so
much on a person and that canaffect their mental health, just
like anything else can.
It comes down to, like you saidbefore, how they view
themselves, how they view theworld, ultimately, how they view
themselves in that world.
Hopefully, stories like thatthat you're telling and they're
(21:25):
reading will give them theinspiration to change their
lives as well.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Yes, yes, yes.
Well, there are quite a fewlike that in the book in
different aspects, and that'sone of the reasons why I thought
I ought to put this down, pento paper and put the transcripts
down, because I thought theywere inspiring and a lot of
these people were not loud orbrash or anything, but they just
(21:53):
had enough.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Yeah, absolutely.
Now, you've been on TV, you'vebeen on radio, you've done all
the press and all that.
Have you done book signingswhere people have come up to
meet you, where some of thepeople that told their stories,
that made it into the book yougot to meet face to face?
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I haven't, because my other books were launched and
there were no book signings atall, but this one we are going
to because we have a lot ofinterested parties, similar to
what I've just said to you, whoare interested in these aspects
and they think it would be very,very good to make it available
just for other people to read.
(22:33):
And I think, as you said, wow,that's me, that's me to a T.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Yeah, that's pretty awesome.
Actually, I think this will bea completely different scenario
for you, because you're going toget a chance to meet some of
these people.
That will give you a completelydifferent perspective, rather
than reading something that yousee in the forum yes, or from
the ones that called in.
(22:59):
I mean, you can feel the painthrough words.
You can feel the pain throughthem calling in.
This time it might be a littlebit different because you'll
actually see it in their face asthey tell you their stories
again.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Yes, yes, yes.
Well, the few people I sent thebook to for sort of reading
prior to getting it publishedcame back and I was quite
actually surprised at what theysaid.
It was quite an emotional thingbecause some of them resonated
with quite a few things in thebook, and then they also said on
things which they had neverthought of before oh, I never
(23:36):
gosh, I never realized that, orit never came to mind.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Yeah, yeah, I get that.
You know, people are all thesame.
It doesn't matter whetherthey're from the US, the UK,
europe, australia, people aroundthe world are pretty much the
same they are.
People don't realize this.
They think they're differentbecause they're from someplace
else, but they're really not.
(24:01):
They may speak different, theymay have different things they
do from day-to-day life.
Pretty much no matter wherewe're from, we're all the same.
We all have the same problems.
The only difference is thelocation that we live and how
the country handles it.
Yes, yes, the beauty of thisbook, as I see it, is that it
(24:22):
has common sense practices.
You give great ideas and greatresolutions.
People have the same problemsworldwide, so hopefully someone
reads this, no matter where theylive, gathers something from it
and it helps them so that theycan move forward with their life
wherever they are.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Well, in my previous life, um, I was traveling a lot
around the world, so I've beento africa, india, china, south
america, europe, across thestates, canada, new zealand,
indian ocean islands, all ofthese things and I was doing
that because of my job and I wastraveling nonstop, and just
(25:02):
what you said was absolutelyspot on.
Everybody in every country hasthe same problems.
It's just that they deal withthem differently.
In Africa, they have a lot ofcultural differences, so they
deal with things because ofcultural differences.
In the Middle East, because oftheir religious things, they
deal with things in a differentway, but it's the same problem.
(25:25):
One thing I mentioned about thelady who actually broke free it
was an Islamic family and it wasa very tight Islamic sort of
control of women and men and allthat kind of thing, and she
didn't and she couldn't and allthis, these false barriers which
are created in your mind Untilthat day she broke them and now
(25:50):
she is well.
I mean, this is going back awhile now, but since she
actually broke free and she wentto live with her son, you would
never recognize her at all.
She's a completely new woman, Imean, and she's actually
enjoying life.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Oh, that's just great .
I mean that's really great.
What do you see for yourself inthe next three to five years?
What's your future hold?
Speaker 2 (26:15):
I would like to develop um more on on this book.
I've actually got another onein the pipeline which I've been
writing um on a slightlydifferent level, but it's it's
the same basic content, becauseI think it's quite cathartic
listening to what other peoplehave done, as opposed to having
(26:37):
somebody who's a psychiatrist orpsychologist telling you this
and that and that and that andyou should do this and you
should do that, because a lot ofthem are not quite right
themselves, to be honest, and so, but getting it firsthand from
people who've done it, seen it,got the t-shirt, the car sticker
, the cuddly toy and everything,they've done that from the
(26:57):
heart.
It's absolutely 100% accurateand that is where the real
inspiration comes.
Someone's done it and you thinkmy God, if you can do that, so
can I.
I'm in a better position thanyou, but I'm going to do it.
I think it's good.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Oh, absolutely.
What would you like to leave uswith that we might not have
touched upon?
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Just based on the book and the people in it, the
most important person in theentire world is yourself.
If you're not the mostimportant person, are you the
second, third, fourth mostimportant person.
When you're number one and youdon't have to have riches and
grandeur when you're number one,you can help everybody,
(27:42):
including yourself.
If you're less than that,you're not doing yourself any
justice.
When you become number one,you're invincible.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Absolutely.
I like it.
This has been great, greatconversation, great information.
I really appreciate you comingon my pleasure, indeed Very much
so.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
I've enjoyed it too.
Thank you for the excellentquestions.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
It's been my pleasure .
You, you, you.
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