May 24, 2025 • 28 mins
Eric Diaz shares his journey of living with schizoaffective disorder and becoming an advocate for those with serious mental illness.
Through finding the right medication, supportive communities, and creative outlets, Eric transformed from someone who couldn't leave his house to a published author helping others navigate similar challenges.
• Diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder as a teenager but initially lacked insight into his condition
• Participated in a clinical trial at Emory University that was crucial for starting treatment
• Struggled with significant medication side effects before finding an effective treatment in 2011
• Went from making fries at Wendy's to getting his GED and attending college
• Became a Certified Peer Specialist to help others with mental health conditions
• Recently published his novel "I Got Sober For This" exploring themes of mental illness
• Now works as an employment specialist helping others with brain disorders find work
• Credits stable housing, family support, and faith community as vital to his recovery
• Emphasizes the importance of both medical treatment and social support systems
• Currently focusing on writing and will be taking a screenwriting workshop
Keep hope, keep going, and don't give up. Reach out to Eric at EricJDiaz1981@gmail.com if you'd like to learn more about his book or experiences.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome to why Not Me ?
The World podcast, hosted byTony Mantor, broadcasting from
Music City, usa, nashville,tennessee.
Join us as our guests tell ustheir stories.
Some will make you laugh, somewill make you cry.
Their stories Some will makeyou laugh, some will make you
(00:30):
cry.
Real life people who willinspire and show that you are
not alone in this world.
Hopefully, you gain moreawareness, acceptance and a
better understanding for autismaround the world.
Hi, I'm Tony Mantor.
(00:52):
Welcome to why Not Me?
The World Humanity OverHandcuffs the Silent Crisis
special event.
Joining us today is Eric Diaz.
He's a writer, youtuber,comedian and dedicated mental
health professional who recentlycelebrated the release of his
debut novel I Got Sober For this.
(01:12):
Eric's life has been deeplyshaped by his personal
experiences, making himintimately familiar with the
profound struggles of addictionand severe mental health
challenges Diagnosed withschizoaffective disorder as a
teenager.
He has navigated hiscomplexities firsthand, emerging
as a relentless and inspiringadvocate for individuals with
(01:35):
serious mental illness and theirfamilies that support them.
With his wealth of knowledge,unique perspective and
unwavering commitment to raisingawareness, he's a true asset to
have him join us today.
Thanks for coming on.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Well, thank you for having me.
I love doing advocacy and Ilove talking about my book, so
it's a win-win.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Yes, I love a win-win .
Well, let's start with what ledyou to where you are now.
How did your journey begin?
What path did you take, andwhere did that path bring you to
where you are today?
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Well, as a child, I enjoyed writing and I kind of,
somewhere along the way, lost.
I stopped doing it for somereason and then, after I quit
drinking, I didn't know what todo with myself.
I felt powerless.
I have a brother who wasrefusing medication for
schizophrenia at the time and Ifelt so powerless to help him
(02:37):
and I was talking to all thesefamilies in that situation and I
was just writing was just, itwas just therapeutic, it was I
enjoyed doing it and I felt sopowerless and writing I
controlled the page completelyis mine, so it was empowering to
write and tell stories, andpart of the idea for the book
was in 2018, there were twoinmates at the ICE detention
(03:03):
center in Stewart County,georgia.
At the Stewart detention center,there were two inmates with
schizophrenia that completedsuicide and I was kind of like
hurt my interest, like that'sout in the middle of nowhere,
that's nowhere near where I live, it's nowhere near Atlanta,
it's nowhere near Macon.
And then I started doingresearch and I was like you know
(03:23):
, a lot of families have lovedones with untreated
schizophrenia, largely due tolack of insight.
But I was kind of like what's,what's their story?
Maybe I kind of they wind updown there from other states.
They weren't residing inGeorgia when they were detained
by ICE.
And just telling the story ofCarl Betancourt, the protagonist
(03:43):
, his life intersects with a lotof different people, that they
have a common connection, butit's people that wouldn't
otherwise know each other.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
So in your book, what do you delve into?
Do you touch on your brother ordo you talk about many
different people?
What's the scope of what you'redoing?
Speaker 2 (04:03):
um, well, my book is.
Of course it's a book work offiction and it's a novel.
It's a novel but it's mainlyabout the main protagonist and
just him.
He doesn't want his children.
He's afraid his children mightwind up developing schizophrenia
and being like some of theclients he takes.
He's's a recovered alcoholiclawyer and my brother was a big
(04:26):
inspiration for a lot of thechapters in the book and just
stories of people I know andstories that I've read about
just people that are powerless.
You have people that aremarginalized, that don't have a
lot, and you have people thatare wealthy and they're still
powerless to help their lovedones.
We kind of all were in thistogether and also writing the
(04:48):
book was also.
Just.
I like storytelling.
I used to do stand-up comedyand I would tell stories about
being a movie extra, which isvery common in the Atlanta area.
I was on disability for most ofmy adult life for
schizoaffective disorder.
Being a movie extra is a commontype of employment for people
on psychographic disabilityaround here, so it's very common
(05:10):
.
You work a couple of days aweek and it doesn't affect your
disability check and becauseit's under the amount, it's
something we're lucky becausenot everyone has that as temp
work, but in Georgia we're luckyto have that.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
So both you and your brother have this diagnosis,
then is that correct?
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Yes and I'm not sure.
Um, I know I am schizo, I haveschizoaffective disorder and I
believe I say schizophrenia, butI'm not sure his exact
diagnosis.
I know early intervention waskey to my recovery.
It was absolutely key and beingpaid to participate in a
(05:51):
clinical trial study at EmoryUniversity was vital because I
did not believe I was sick.
No, I did not believe I wassick.
I knew with absolute certaintythat there was nothing wrong
with me.
I knew with absolute certaintythat everything I was saying was
true.
There was no if or maybe.
I knew, but I also had thereality slapping me in the face
(06:12):
and being paid to participate inthis study and they were very
nice to me when I went downthere, got me on my medication
Even though I was still inpsychosis.
Psychosis, in my view, is alwaystoxic.
I don't view it as ever beinggood.
It's a disease to be treated,not a right to be protected.
But it was manageable, like Icould, kind of I could go out a
little bit.
(06:32):
I wasn't always saying thingsthat would get me in trouble
because I wouldn't even know whypeople were mad.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Okay, so how long do you think you had it before you
actually got treated?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
I was under the care of a psychiatrist that we knew
because my brother is older.
I was under the care of apsychiatrist and seen a social
worker regularly and I believe Idon't know, because I was very
much out of it, I guess the bestway to describe it I began
taking medications my senioryear in high school that are for
schizophrenia, but I originallystarted seeing the psychiatrist
(07:07):
and social worker fordepression.
I was having symptoms, but Iwas only forthcoming.
I still had a filter I thinkit's called double booking.
I knew how bad, how bizarre thethings I was thinking sounded,
so I was able to keep it tomyself, but it was still making
me very depressed.
I was able to, long story short,I took the medication right off
(07:31):
the bat.
I just took it.
I was raised that when you'represcribed something you take it
, but the side effects were sobad I discontinued it and then
for about I would say if I guessI don't remember everything
exactly, it's hazy, but I wouldsay about close to a year I was
just no medication period, justnot taking my medication, and
(07:55):
what was so great about EmoryUniversity and the clinical
trial study was that they nevertried to make me admit I had
schizoaffective disorder.
It was just come in tell us howyou're doing and like here's
your prescription.
And it was very funny because Istill very much believe things
happened in the past, but theyweren't ongoing now in a way
(08:15):
that was threatening to me.
It was just things that hadhappened and I still had a lot
of symptoms, but I wasn'temployable at that time in my
view.
But I was able to kind of goout to a restaurant because
there was a time when I couldn'teven leave my house.
I was so paranoid.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Wow.
So I spoke with a guy who saidhe spent a short time in jail
but it ended up costing himnearly a decade.
He struggled to figure out whatwas wrong with him, navigating
the challenges of getting in andout of the jail system,
searching for the rightmedication.
Now he's doing fine, butultimately it took him that
(08:52):
whole decade to work through themaze of it all before they
finally found what worked.
It doesn't sound like you wentthrough anything like that, but
you did have the challenges thatyou had to work through.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
That's partially true .
The medication was able to keepme out of the hospital, but I
still couldn't do a whole lot.
So my current medication, Ibelieve I've been on since 2011.
And then I added a medicationabout four years ago.
When I was on the oldermedication, I kind of had a
grieving process because Icouldn't do the other stuff the
(09:29):
other young men in their 20swere doing.
I was in a program for thecognitive symptoms of like just
memory impairment and just notbeing able to.
I was in a program for specialneeds adults at Goodwill and I
was placed in a job at Wendy'swhere all I could do was make
fries and clean the lobby,because my short-term memory was
(09:51):
so bad and I was so dense thatI couldn't really do anything,
do a whole lot and it was verylonely and isolating.
And then, when I responded tomedication, I was very happy
that I was able to get my GEDand go back to college.
I went to a junior college.
My choice was vital in me beingable to go back to college
(10:11):
because a man at my church whowas retired helped me get caught
up so I could at the juniorcollege.
I needed a lot of one-on-onetutoring but it would have been
different if I had beendiagnosed.
I then as a teenager, I then,when I was 20, gone straight on
the medication I'm on now.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Do you think that because you did not get
diagnosed earlier that itaffected your quality of life at
all?
How do you feel about thatoverall?
Speaker 2 (10:40):
I don't believe it did, because I believe maybe so
I mean it would've been betterto have been diagnosed sooner,
but I believe that themedication I'm on now wasn't on
the market.
If I had had that medication,I'd started taking in 2011, say
in 2001,.
It would have been a lotdifferent.
(11:01):
But the whole gaining 100pounds on the medication, having
the cognitive problems, beingemotionally flat, it was pretty
much.
It was keeping me out of thehospital, but I could survive
and not thrive.
So I'm very grateful thatthere's newer medication now so
that if you don't respond, Idon't like to say the names of
(11:23):
medication, because I don't wantto promote.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Yeah, that's fine, I get it.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
But even if you don't respond to the medication I'm
on, there's a lot of newermedications out there and the
reason I don't say whatmedication I'm on is I've had
friends see how well I'm doingand the majority of doctors want
their patients to participatein their treatment.
But when people come in thereand say Eric, my friend Eric's
(11:47):
doing really well on thismedication, I want to be on it.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
A lot of them did not do very well on that medication
.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
So I'm very hesitant, even though I love, I mean
everyone's body's different,even though my body really
responds to this medication.
Like I said, there's newermedicines out, so hopefully
everyone will find the rightmedication that works for their
body, right when they can go outand live a healthy, productive
life.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Now, have you seen any differences or similarities
between you and your brother inyour diagnosis and much of the
way that you live your lives?
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Well, he right now, because he was off his meds for
a long time.
Okay, and he is not.
He's like the person you weretalking about.
He missed out on a lot of stuff.
I'm currently employed and he'strying to go back to work, but,
like I said, I'm reluctant totalk too much about him.
(12:45):
I totally understand that andthat's not a problem but yeah,
as of right now, I'm able to doa lot of things that he is
currently not not able to do.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
I host a lot of autism podcasts.
One guest shared a story abouthis son.
His son was walking down thehighway and because he was
always seemed just like a happykid, the police assumed he was
high on drugs.
They took him into custody butafter contacting the father, he
explained the situation, theylet him go and everything turned
(13:17):
out fine.
Have you ever had anyexperiences where, due to
medications or other factors,you've had interactions with the
legal system where they justdidn't understand what you were
going through?
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I have not.
My brother has had a couple butme I honestly I've had.
My experience with the policehas, for personally, has been
has been mostly positive.
Oh, that's great and that, um,I was afraid to leave my house,
so like I would venture out atlike 2 am and I go to, like I
(13:51):
hop and steak and shake waffles.
I just kind of hang out atnight because there was less
people when I felt safe and, ofcourse, like whenever the cops
would come in, they were alwaysfriendly and yeah, and I'd say
my personal experience has beenoverwhelmingly positive.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
That's great to hear, especially since it's a common
concern for many people.
Misunderstandings can escalatequickly when officers don't
fully grasp what someone mightbe going through.
It's tricky because lawenforcement often has just
seconds to assess a situationand make a decision, so it's
really reassuring and awesome toknow you've had no issues with
(14:28):
that.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Well, let me tell you a story.
I had an emergency with mybrother at my house.
I was very afraid to call lawenforcement and when the deputy
came, I was basically tellingthe 911 operator there's no guns
in the house, I'm onlyconcerned for my brother's
safety.
And they're okay, and she'slike I.
I told the, the, um, the, the.
(14:51):
I'm telling them to take thesilent approach, but they have
anyway.
The cop um parts a little bitup the street.
No, siren, didn't have hisheadlights on.
And then when I went to tell mybrother that he was here
because my brother sometimes wasdoing the same thing I was
doing back when I was havingsymptoms, going to, like, the
gas station and like, say,waffle House late at night, him
(15:14):
and the cop already knew eachother.
So it was very helpful.
It's very helpful when the cops, like, are part of the
community, and so it was verymuch like I don't know if it
would have been different ifthey didn't know each other, but
like they recognize each otherand that was very helpful.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Yeah, that's really good that it turned out that
well.
So, now that you've gonethrough everything, how long did
it take you to get stabilized?
Take you to get stabilized Imean from navigating all the
different challenges you face tofinally having a job working
and settling into something likethe American dream, or at least
your version of it.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Well, it took.
It took.
It happened in stages.
I went from completely refusingtreatment to being just well
enough to not go to the hospital, to taking a different
medication where I was able toget my GED and take some classes
, and then I took the medicationI'm on now, and it took a lot
of this tenacity and trial anderror.
(16:08):
But, to answer your question, alot of it is just keep going
Like 2011,.
There's been a minor adjustmentto my medication four years ago
, but it took a long time.
When your life is delayed likethat, like going to a four year
college and like just givensomeone who's 30 medication and
(16:28):
say, hey, you're, you're good.
Now there's still a long roadto catch up and there's still.
It takes a lot of just learning,and one thing that was vital to
my recovery that I want to talkabout is I am a certified peer
specialist and the first week ofthe certified peer specialist
training was like a DaleCarnegie seminar, catered just
(16:51):
for people that have a braindisorder like schizophrenia or
major depression, and it reallyhelped me connect because, even
though I was starting to respondto medication, my social skills
had really atrophied.
So, like, the second week is alot of like stuff on advocacy,
but the first week was extremelyhelpful, just teaching me
(17:12):
because I didn't realize how itwas coming across and that
really helped.
And also it helps my self-worthbecause I had to study for the
test and pass the test.
I'm currently working as anemployment specialist.
I just started a new job.
I'm going to be helping peoplewith brain disorders like
(17:33):
schizophrenia or bipolardisorder find work, and that's
something that's very importantbecause there's a risk of me
going back to the hospital.
I get really stressed out, butfeeling worthless and not being
able to participate and be apart of society is also
stressful and can also lead tome going back to the hospital.
So it's one of those things.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Wow, you just brought up a great point.
How do you find the balancebetween too much stress and too
little activity, where anxietyfrom being overwhelmed doesn't
cause health issues like endingup in the hospital, but
depression from nothinghappening doesn't take over
either?
How do you figure out that lineso you're not tipping too far
(18:16):
in one direction or the other?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
a lot of it.
It was just trial and error okaya lot of it was trial and error
and one thing that I was veryblessed with.
A lot of it was trial and error.
And one thing that I was veryblessed with is I've always had
stable housing.
I've always my home, the home Igrew up in, has always been
there.
So, even if I move out, Iremember I called my mother when
I was working another job and Iwas like I also go to a 12-step
(18:41):
program for drinking and Icalled my mother and I was like
I got to move back home.
I'm going to relapse if I keepdoing this job.
I got to just go home and takea break and she was happy to
have me.
So I think I've always hadwhere.
If I don't succeed, I will likebe on the street.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
That was.
My next question was about yourparents.
Initially they had to navigateyour brother's difficulties with
his issues.
Then sometimes you might have afew issues you have to deal
with.
How did they handle that?
Speaker 2 (19:13):
My father passed away in 2003, and we were very lucky
in that he had a very good jobat Lockheed Martin.
We were basically my mother,and even though she has two
children that were disabled,we're still able to keep our
house, and my mother has alwaysbeen supportive.
She's always been encouragingme to do stuff.
(19:34):
In fact, let me see if I couldfind it here.
The first part of my book isactually a picture of me and my
mother at my graduation.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
And I have a nice tribute to my mom, yeah, and
that's one thing I think isvital.
And I will say this though mychurch was very vital, still is
very vital to my recovery, andmy supportive family is very
vital to my recovery.
But if I had not been paidearly on to be in that clinical
trial study, I don't think itwould have made that much of a
(20:06):
difference.
Because, even though thesethings are important the
anosmosia, the lack of insight,even like you could have the
most loving family and church.
I know people that have haddifferent experiences with
schizophrenia-related disordersin their church or other house
of worship, but I've beenoverwhelmingly supported and
(20:27):
welcomed and that's somethingthat has been, I'd say, vital.
And even at other people'schurches I've been invited.
Other people would invite me tothings, not just mine.
So I feel like the faithcommunity of Woodstock has been
very, very welcoming to me.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
That's really good to hear that you've been accepted
that way.
Now, what about friends?
I often hear that people startout with a lot of friends.
Then, the more they slip intopsychosis, the friendships seem
to drift away.
Has any of that affected you atall?
Speaker 2 (21:00):
I honestly think you know how do I word that that was
a big reason, not just themoney.
I don't blame anyone, but I abig reason, not just the money,
I don't blame anyone, but I wassaying things and just the way I
was acting was making peopleunderstandably, understandably
so very uncomfortable.
And the clinical trial programnot only paid me a small stipend
, but they were really friendly.
(21:21):
So there was a time when Ididn't have a single friend in
the whole wide world and goingto treatment was my only like
social interaction and I was too, at that time, too paranoid to
even leave my house.
So I feel like being that goingevery two weeks for treatment
was a very um was something Ilooked forward to.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Okay, that makes complete sense.
Now, where you kind of isolatedyourself, didn't get out there
at all, how did you motivateyourself to get out there and be
part of society so that youcould interact with other people
?
Speaker 2 (22:01):
After I was on medication I started to.
On the older medication Istarted to venture out a little
at a time.
I was very lucky that I had abrother who worked for a I think
it was a company thatcontracted with United Airlines,
so I had standby tickets Partof what I did.
(22:22):
I was very nervous about goingout in public where I lived,
part of what I did.
I was very nervous about goingout in public where I lived.
But I flew to California whereI have family, and I was a
little bit braver going outthere where I didn't know anyone
.
Well, that was a nice seguegoing out there and socializing
with my cousins and then comingback and trying to apply what I
learned.
But I was very nervous and Idid it a little at a time, I
(22:45):
didn't do it all at once.
I was very nervous and I did ita little at a time, I didn't do
it all at once, and it helpswhen I started being on
medication that alleviated mysymptoms and but it was.
It was very hard.
It was very hard in thebeginning, like I remember
working at Wendy's and it wasvery scary for me, very just,
very scary, and, um, even goingto church.
(23:06):
For a time I wouldn't go tochurch because I was too, too
nervous and there were there wasa long time where I would just
not go anywhere.
Another problem I had is I wasso flat.
I didn't really do anything forfun, so that when I didn't
really have the desire to go out, even when I wasn't paranoid, I
(23:28):
didn't really have as much ofthe desire to go out.
And because I didn't doanything for fun, it was kind of
like what am I going to talkabout if I go out?
At the time I was watching a lotof cable news.
I mean, let's go talk about thenews.
Or sometimes I used to justtalk about my symptoms, like
we'll talk about like havingschizoaffective disorder, like
(23:49):
that's how I'm going to go, andyou can't.
You can't always do that, youcan't just go.
I mean, people with otherhealth problems don't go out and
do that.
And which is part of the reasonI love creative outlets,
because I love this talkingabout my art, I love talking
about like comedy or talkingabout my book, or having things
(24:10):
that are more topical other thanjust, hey, I have
schizoaffective disorder.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Are you still active in comedy at all?
Speaker 2 (24:17):
I'm taking a break.
I'm taking a break.
I'm open to doing it in thefuture, but I enjoy writing more
and that's something that Iwould like to in the future.
But I enjoy writing more andthat's something that I would
like to in the future.
Like I said I did, I like myfavorite movies or movies about
the creative process, likebirdman and movies like that,
like black swan black swan gaveme a lot of anxiety it's just
(24:41):
about a woman with anxiety, butbut anything about the creative
process.
So I like doing stand-up aboutbeing a movie extra and I don't
know I could see just doingstand-up about self-publishing.
But right now my focus iswriting and I'm taking a
screenwriting workshop in lateJanuary and February.
(25:03):
So, yeah, so, having a whoknows, maybe I'll do, I'll write
something about, like I say,the creative process of
self-publishing.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Yeah, that's great.
So tell us a little bit aboutyour book and tell us where we
can get it.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Oh well, thank you, my book I Got Sober for this
with the ellipses, eric E-R-I-CJ EricJDiaz1981 at gmailcom and
I would be happy to respond toemails and that is something
that, when you self-publish, iskind of I'm doing everything.
(25:37):
Yeah, like I said, I wouldseriously love to hear from
anyone who's read my book or hasany questions.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Do you have a website or any way that people can find
you so that they want to reachout about your book?
Speaker 2 (25:52):
I think a lot of times, like with my book, I
didn't know the distributiontools available to
self-published authors and I waslike why am I writing this when
no publisher is going to wantit?
Well, I don't, publishers can'treject it if I don't write it.
And there were a lot of timeswhen I was hopeless and I'm like
(26:15):
why am I doing this?
Like nothing good is going tocome of this, and sometimes just
just keeping hope, keeping hope, keep keep going, keep going
and just don't give up, becausea lot, lot of times, like when I
respond to medication in my 30s, like what's the point?
My life's over.
Well, now that I'm 43, hearingmy 30-year-old self saying that,
(26:36):
I think it's just silly, likeyou know.
And just keep going and keephope, keep hope alive.
Well, you never know, they justmight reach out Now in closing
what do you feel that peopleneed to hear about what you're
doing?
Just keeping hope, keeping hope, keep going, keep going and
just don't give up, because alot of times, like when I
(26:56):
respond to medication in my 30s,like what's the point, my
life's over.
Well, now that I'm 43, hearingmy 30-year-old self saying that,
I think it's silly.
And just keep going and keephope alive.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Absolutely Well.
This has been great, Greatconversation, great information.
Thanks for coming on.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Thank you so much for taking the time to interview me
.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Oh, it's been my pleasure.
Thanks again.
Thanks for taking the time outof your busy schedule to listen
to our show today.
We hope that you enjoyed it asmuch as we enjoyed bringing it
to you.
If you know anyone that wouldlike to tell us their story,
(27:42):
send them to TonyMantorcomContact then they can give us
their information so one daythey may be a guest on our show.
One more thing we ask telleveryone everywhere about why
Not Me, the world, theconversations we're having and
(28:03):
the inspiration our guests giveto everyone everywhere that you
are not alone in this world.
Welcome to why Not Me ?
The World podcast, hosted byTony Mantor, broadcasting from
Music City, usa, nashville,tennessee.
Join us as our guests tell ustheir stories.
Some will make you laugh, somewill make you cry.
Their stories Some will makeyou laugh, some will make you
(00:30):
cry.
Real life people who willinspire and show that you are
not alone in this world.
Hopefully, you gain moreawareness, acceptance and a
better understanding for autismaround the world.
Hi, I'm Tony Mantor.
(00:52):
Welcome to why Not Me?
The World Humanity OverHandcuffs the Silent Crisis
special event.
Joining us today is Eric Diaz.
He's a writer, youtuber,comedian and dedicated mental
health professional who recentlycelebrated the release of his
debut novel I Got Sober For this.
(01:12):
Eric's life has been deeplyshaped by his personal
experiences, making himintimately familiar with the
profound struggles of addictionand severe mental health
challenges Diagnosed withschizoaffective disorder as a
teenager.
He has navigated hiscomplexities firsthand, emerging
as a relentless and inspiringadvocate for individuals with
(01:35):
serious mental illness and theirfamilies that support them.
With his wealth of knowledge,unique perspective and
unwavering commitment to raisingawareness, he's a true asset to
have him join us today.
Thanks for coming on.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Well, thank you for having me.
I love doing advocacy and Ilove talking about my book, so
it's a win-win.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Yes, I love a win-win .
Well, let's start with what ledyou to where you are now.
How did your journey begin?
What path did you take, andwhere did that path bring you to
where you are today?
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Well, as a child, I enjoyed writing and I kind of,
somewhere along the way, lost.
I stopped doing it for somereason and then, after I quit
drinking, I didn't know what todo with myself.
I felt powerless.
I have a brother who wasrefusing medication for
schizophrenia at the time and Ifelt so powerless to help him
(02:37):
and I was talking to all thesefamilies in that situation and I
was just writing was just, itwas just therapeutic, it was I
enjoyed doing it and I felt sopowerless and writing I
controlled the page completelyis mine, so it was empowering to
write and tell stories, andpart of the idea for the book
was in 2018, there were twoinmates at the ICE detention
(03:03):
center in Stewart County,georgia.
At the Stewart detention center,there were two inmates with
schizophrenia that completedsuicide and I was kind of like
hurt my interest, like that'sout in the middle of nowhere,
that's nowhere near where I live, it's nowhere near Atlanta,
it's nowhere near Macon.
And then I started doingresearch and I was like you know
(03:23):
, a lot of families have lovedones with untreated
schizophrenia, largely due tolack of insight.
But I was kind of like what's,what's their story?
Maybe I kind of they wind updown there from other states.
They weren't residing inGeorgia when they were detained
by ICE.
And just telling the story ofCarl Betancourt, the protagonist
(03:43):
, his life intersects with a lotof different people, that they
have a common connection, butit's people that wouldn't
otherwise know each other.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
So in your book, what do you delve into?
Do you touch on your brother ordo you talk about many
different people?
What's the scope of what you'redoing?
Speaker 2 (04:03):
um, well, my book is.
Of course it's a book work offiction and it's a novel.
It's a novel but it's mainlyabout the main protagonist and
just him.
He doesn't want his children.
He's afraid his children mightwind up developing schizophrenia
and being like some of theclients he takes.
He's's a recovered alcoholiclawyer and my brother was a big
(04:26):
inspiration for a lot of thechapters in the book and just
stories of people I know andstories that I've read about
just people that are powerless.
You have people that aremarginalized, that don't have a
lot, and you have people thatare wealthy and they're still
powerless to help their lovedones.
We kind of all were in thistogether and also writing the
(04:48):
book was also.
Just.
I like storytelling.
I used to do stand-up comedyand I would tell stories about
being a movie extra, which isvery common in the Atlanta area.
I was on disability for most ofmy adult life for
schizoaffective disorder.
Being a movie extra is a commontype of employment for people
on psychographic disabilityaround here, so it's very common
(05:10):
.
You work a couple of days aweek and it doesn't affect your
disability check and becauseit's under the amount, it's
something we're lucky becausenot everyone has that as temp
work, but in Georgia we're luckyto have that.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
So both you and your brother have this diagnosis,
then is that correct?
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Yes and I'm not sure.
Um, I know I am schizo, I haveschizoaffective disorder and I
believe I say schizophrenia, butI'm not sure his exact
diagnosis.
I know early intervention waskey to my recovery.
It was absolutely key and beingpaid to participate in a
(05:51):
clinical trial study at EmoryUniversity was vital because I
did not believe I was sick.
No, I did not believe I wassick.
I knew with absolute certaintythat there was nothing wrong
with me.
I knew with absolute certaintythat everything I was saying was
true.
There was no if or maybe.
I knew, but I also had thereality slapping me in the face
(06:12):
and being paid to participate inthis study and they were very
nice to me when I went downthere, got me on my medication
Even though I was still inpsychosis.
Psychosis, in my view, is alwaystoxic.
I don't view it as ever beinggood.
It's a disease to be treated,not a right to be protected.
But it was manageable, like Icould, kind of I could go out a
little bit.
(06:32):
I wasn't always saying thingsthat would get me in trouble
because I wouldn't even know whypeople were mad.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Okay, so how long do you think you had it before you
actually got treated?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
I was under the care of a psychiatrist that we knew
because my brother is older.
I was under the care of apsychiatrist and seen a social
worker regularly and I believe Idon't know, because I was very
much out of it, I guess the bestway to describe it I began
taking medications my senioryear in high school that are for
schizophrenia, but I originallystarted seeing the psychiatrist
(07:07):
and social worker fordepression.
I was having symptoms, but Iwas only forthcoming.
I still had a filter I thinkit's called double booking.
I knew how bad, how bizarre thethings I was thinking sounded,
so I was able to keep it tomyself, but it was still making
me very depressed.
I was able to, long story short,I took the medication right off
(07:31):
the bat.
I just took it.
I was raised that when you'represcribed something you take it
, but the side effects were sobad I discontinued it and then
for about I would say if I guessI don't remember everything
exactly, it's hazy, but I wouldsay about close to a year I was
just no medication period, justnot taking my medication, and
(07:55):
what was so great about EmoryUniversity and the clinical
trial study was that they nevertried to make me admit I had
schizoaffective disorder.
It was just come in tell us howyou're doing and like here's
your prescription.
And it was very funny because Istill very much believe things
happened in the past, but theyweren't ongoing now in a way
(08:15):
that was threatening to me.
It was just things that hadhappened and I still had a lot
of symptoms, but I wasn'temployable at that time in my
view.
But I was able to kind of goout to a restaurant because
there was a time when I couldn'teven leave my house.
I was so paranoid.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Wow.
So I spoke with a guy who saidhe spent a short time in jail
but it ended up costing himnearly a decade.
He struggled to figure out whatwas wrong with him, navigating
the challenges of getting in andout of the jail system,
searching for the rightmedication.
Now he's doing fine, butultimately it took him that
(08:52):
whole decade to work through themaze of it all before they
finally found what worked.
It doesn't sound like you wentthrough anything like that, but
you did have the challenges thatyou had to work through.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
That's partially true .
The medication was able to keepme out of the hospital, but I
still couldn't do a whole lot.
So my current medication, Ibelieve I've been on since 2011.
And then I added a medicationabout four years ago.
When I was on the oldermedication, I kind of had a
grieving process because Icouldn't do the other stuff the
(09:29):
other young men in their 20swere doing.
I was in a program for thecognitive symptoms of like just
memory impairment and just notbeing able to.
I was in a program for specialneeds adults at Goodwill and I
was placed in a job at Wendy'swhere all I could do was make
fries and clean the lobby,because my short-term memory was
(09:51):
so bad and I was so dense thatI couldn't really do anything,
do a whole lot and it was verylonely and isolating.
And then, when I responded tomedication, I was very happy
that I was able to get my GEDand go back to college.
I went to a junior college.
My choice was vital in me beingable to go back to college
(10:11):
because a man at my church whowas retired helped me get caught
up so I could at the juniorcollege.
I needed a lot of one-on-onetutoring but it would have been
different if I had beendiagnosed.
I then as a teenager, I then,when I was 20, gone straight on
the medication I'm on now.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Do you think that because you did not get
diagnosed earlier that itaffected your quality of life at
all?
How do you feel about thatoverall?
Speaker 2 (10:40):
I don't believe it did, because I believe maybe so
I mean it would've been betterto have been diagnosed sooner,
but I believe that themedication I'm on now wasn't on
the market.
If I had had that medication,I'd started taking in 2011, say
in 2001,.
It would have been a lotdifferent.
(11:01):
But the whole gaining 100pounds on the medication, having
the cognitive problems, beingemotionally flat, it was pretty
much.
It was keeping me out of thehospital, but I could survive
and not thrive.
So I'm very grateful thatthere's newer medication now so
that if you don't respond, Idon't like to say the names of
(11:23):
medication, because I don't wantto promote.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Yeah, that's fine, I get it.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
But even if you don't respond to the medication I'm
on, there's a lot of newermedications out there and the
reason I don't say whatmedication I'm on is I've had
friends see how well I'm doingand the majority of doctors want
their patients to participatein their treatment.
But when people come in thereand say Eric, my friend Eric's
(11:47):
doing really well on thismedication, I want to be on it.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
A lot of them did not do very well on that medication
.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
So I'm very hesitant, even though I love, I mean
everyone's body's different,even though my body really
responds to this medication.
Like I said, there's newermedicines out, so hopefully
everyone will find the rightmedication that works for their
body, right when they can go outand live a healthy, productive
life.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Now, have you seen any differences or similarities
between you and your brother inyour diagnosis and much of the
way that you live your lives?
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Well, he right now, because he was off his meds for
a long time.
Okay, and he is not.
He's like the person you weretalking about.
He missed out on a lot of stuff.
I'm currently employed and he'strying to go back to work, but,
like I said, I'm reluctant totalk too much about him.
(12:45):
I totally understand that andthat's not a problem but yeah,
as of right now, I'm able to doa lot of things that he is
currently not not able to do.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
I host a lot of autism podcasts.
One guest shared a story abouthis son.
His son was walking down thehighway and because he was
always seemed just like a happykid, the police assumed he was
high on drugs.
They took him into custody butafter contacting the father, he
explained the situation, theylet him go and everything turned
(13:17):
out fine.
Have you ever had anyexperiences where, due to
medications or other factors,you've had interactions with the
legal system where they justdidn't understand what you were
going through?
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I have not.
My brother has had a couple butme I honestly I've had.
My experience with the policehas, for personally, has been
has been mostly positive.
Oh, that's great and that, um,I was afraid to leave my house,
so like I would venture out atlike 2 am and I go to, like I
(13:51):
hop and steak and shake waffles.
I just kind of hang out atnight because there was less
people when I felt safe and, ofcourse, like whenever the cops
would come in, they were alwaysfriendly and yeah, and I'd say
my personal experience has beenoverwhelmingly positive.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
That's great to hear, especially since it's a common
concern for many people.
Misunderstandings can escalatequickly when officers don't
fully grasp what someone mightbe going through.
It's tricky because lawenforcement often has just
seconds to assess a situationand make a decision, so it's
really reassuring and awesome toknow you've had no issues with
(14:28):
that.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Well, let me tell you a story.
I had an emergency with mybrother at my house.
I was very afraid to call lawenforcement and when the deputy
came, I was basically tellingthe 911 operator there's no guns
in the house, I'm onlyconcerned for my brother's
safety.
And they're okay, and she'slike I.
I told the, the, um, the, the.
(14:51):
I'm telling them to take thesilent approach, but they have
anyway.
The cop um parts a little bitup the street.
No, siren, didn't have hisheadlights on.
And then when I went to tell mybrother that he was here
because my brother sometimes wasdoing the same thing I was
doing back when I was havingsymptoms, going to, like, the
gas station and like, say,waffle House late at night, him
(15:14):
and the cop already knew eachother.
So it was very helpful.
It's very helpful when the cops, like, are part of the
community, and so it was verymuch like I don't know if it
would have been different ifthey didn't know each other, but
like they recognize each otherand that was very helpful.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Yeah, that's really good that it turned out that
well.
So, now that you've gonethrough everything, how long did
it take you to get stabilized?
Take you to get stabilized Imean from navigating all the
different challenges you face tofinally having a job working
and settling into something likethe American dream, or at least
your version of it.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Well, it took.
It took.
It happened in stages.
I went from completely refusingtreatment to being just well
enough to not go to the hospital, to taking a different
medication where I was able toget my GED and take some classes
, and then I took the medicationI'm on now, and it took a lot
of this tenacity and trial anderror.
(16:08):
But, to answer your question, alot of it is just keep going
Like 2011,.
There's been a minor adjustmentto my medication four years ago
, but it took a long time.
When your life is delayed likethat, like going to a four year
college and like just givensomeone who's 30 medication and
(16:28):
say, hey, you're, you're good.
Now there's still a long roadto catch up and there's still.
It takes a lot of just learning,and one thing that was vital to
my recovery that I want to talkabout is I am a certified peer
specialist and the first week ofthe certified peer specialist
training was like a DaleCarnegie seminar, catered just
(16:51):
for people that have a braindisorder like schizophrenia or
major depression, and it reallyhelped me connect because, even
though I was starting to respondto medication, my social skills
had really atrophied.
So, like, the second week is alot of like stuff on advocacy,
but the first week was extremelyhelpful, just teaching me
(17:12):
because I didn't realize how itwas coming across and that
really helped.
And also it helps my self-worthbecause I had to study for the
test and pass the test.
I'm currently working as anemployment specialist.
I just started a new job.
I'm going to be helping peoplewith brain disorders like
(17:33):
schizophrenia or bipolardisorder find work, and that's
something that's very importantbecause there's a risk of me
going back to the hospital.
I get really stressed out, butfeeling worthless and not being
able to participate and be apart of society is also
stressful and can also lead tome going back to the hospital.
So it's one of those things.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Wow, you just brought up a great point.
How do you find the balancebetween too much stress and too
little activity, where anxietyfrom being overwhelmed doesn't
cause health issues like endingup in the hospital, but
depression from nothinghappening doesn't take over
either?
How do you figure out that lineso you're not tipping too far
(18:16):
in one direction or the other?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
a lot of it.
It was just trial and error okaya lot of it was trial and error
and one thing that I was veryblessed with.
A lot of it was trial and error.
And one thing that I was veryblessed with is I've always had
stable housing.
I've always my home, the home Igrew up in, has always been
there.
So, even if I move out, Iremember I called my mother when
I was working another job and Iwas like I also go to a 12-step
(18:41):
program for drinking and Icalled my mother and I was like
I got to move back home.
I'm going to relapse if I keepdoing this job.
I got to just go home and takea break and she was happy to
have me.
So I think I've always hadwhere.
If I don't succeed, I will likebe on the street.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
That was.
My next question was about yourparents.
Initially they had to navigateyour brother's difficulties with
his issues.
Then sometimes you might have afew issues you have to deal
with.
How did they handle that?
Speaker 2 (19:13):
My father passed away in 2003, and we were very lucky
in that he had a very good jobat Lockheed Martin.
We were basically my mother,and even though she has two
children that were disabled,we're still able to keep our
house, and my mother has alwaysbeen supportive.
She's always been encouragingme to do stuff.
(19:34):
In fact, let me see if I couldfind it here.
The first part of my book isactually a picture of me and my
mother at my graduation.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
And I have a nice tribute to my mom, yeah, and
that's one thing I think isvital.
And I will say this though mychurch was very vital, still is
very vital to my recovery, andmy supportive family is very
vital to my recovery.
But if I had not been paidearly on to be in that clinical
trial study, I don't think itwould have made that much of a
(20:06):
difference.
Because, even though thesethings are important the
anosmosia, the lack of insight,even like you could have the
most loving family and church.
I know people that have haddifferent experiences with
schizophrenia-related disordersin their church or other house
of worship, but I've beenoverwhelmingly supported and
(20:27):
welcomed and that's somethingthat has been, I'd say, vital.
And even at other people'schurches I've been invited.
Other people would invite me tothings, not just mine.
So I feel like the faithcommunity of Woodstock has been
very, very welcoming to me.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
That's really good to hear that you've been accepted
that way.
Now, what about friends?
I often hear that people startout with a lot of friends.
Then, the more they slip intopsychosis, the friendships seem
to drift away.
Has any of that affected you atall?
Speaker 2 (21:00):
I honestly think you know how do I word that that was
a big reason, not just themoney.
I don't blame anyone, but I abig reason, not just the money,
I don't blame anyone, but I wassaying things and just the way I
was acting was making peopleunderstandably, understandably
so very uncomfortable.
And the clinical trial programnot only paid me a small stipend
, but they were really friendly.
(21:21):
So there was a time when Ididn't have a single friend in
the whole wide world and goingto treatment was my only like
social interaction and I was too, at that time, too paranoid to
even leave my house.
So I feel like being that goingevery two weeks for treatment
was a very um was something Ilooked forward to.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Okay, that makes complete sense.
Now, where you kind of isolatedyourself, didn't get out there
at all, how did you motivateyourself to get out there and be
part of society so that youcould interact with other people
?
Speaker 2 (22:01):
After I was on medication I started to.
On the older medication Istarted to venture out a little
at a time.
I was very lucky that I had abrother who worked for a I think
it was a company thatcontracted with United Airlines,
so I had standby tickets Partof what I did.
(22:22):
I was very nervous about goingout in public where I lived,
part of what I did.
I was very nervous about goingout in public where I lived.
But I flew to California whereI have family, and I was a
little bit braver going outthere where I didn't know anyone
.
Well, that was a nice seguegoing out there and socializing
with my cousins and then comingback and trying to apply what I
learned.
But I was very nervous and Idid it a little at a time, I
(22:45):
didn't do it all at once.
I was very nervous and I did ita little at a time, I didn't do
it all at once, and it helpswhen I started being on
medication that alleviated mysymptoms and but it was.
It was very hard.
It was very hard in thebeginning, like I remember
working at Wendy's and it wasvery scary for me, very just,
very scary, and, um, even goingto church.
(23:06):
For a time I wouldn't go tochurch because I was too, too
nervous and there were there wasa long time where I would just
not go anywhere.
Another problem I had is I wasso flat.
I didn't really do anything forfun, so that when I didn't
really have the desire to go out, even when I wasn't paranoid, I
(23:28):
didn't really have as much ofthe desire to go out.
And because I didn't doanything for fun, it was kind of
like what am I going to talkabout if I go out?
At the time I was watching a lotof cable news.
I mean, let's go talk about thenews.
Or sometimes I used to justtalk about my symptoms, like
we'll talk about like havingschizoaffective disorder, like
(23:49):
that's how I'm going to go, andyou can't.
You can't always do that, youcan't just go.
I mean, people with otherhealth problems don't go out and
do that.
And which is part of the reasonI love creative outlets,
because I love this talkingabout my art, I love talking
about like comedy or talkingabout my book, or having things
(24:10):
that are more topical other thanjust, hey, I have
schizoaffective disorder.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Are you still active in comedy at all?
Speaker 2 (24:17):
I'm taking a break.
I'm taking a break.
I'm open to doing it in thefuture, but I enjoy writing more
and that's something that Iwould like to in the future.
But I enjoy writing more andthat's something that I would
like to in the future.
Like I said I did, I like myfavorite movies or movies about
the creative process, likebirdman and movies like that,
like black swan black swan gaveme a lot of anxiety it's just
(24:41):
about a woman with anxiety, butbut anything about the creative
process.
So I like doing stand-up aboutbeing a movie extra and I don't
know I could see just doingstand-up about self-publishing.
But right now my focus iswriting and I'm taking a
screenwriting workshop in lateJanuary and February.
(25:03):
So, yeah, so, having a whoknows, maybe I'll do, I'll write
something about, like I say,the creative process of
self-publishing.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Yeah, that's great.
So tell us a little bit aboutyour book and tell us where we
can get it.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Oh well, thank you, my book I Got Sober for this
with the ellipses, eric E-R-I-CJ EricJDiaz1981 at gmailcom and
I would be happy to respond toemails and that is something
that, when you self-publish, iskind of I'm doing everything.
(25:37):
Yeah, like I said, I wouldseriously love to hear from
anyone who's read my book or hasany questions.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Do you have a website or any way that people can find
you so that they want to reachout about your book?
Speaker 2 (25:52):
I think a lot of times, like with my book, I
didn't know the distributiontools available to
self-published authors and I waslike why am I writing this when
no publisher is going to wantit?
Well, I don't, publishers can'treject it if I don't write it.
And there were a lot of timeswhen I was hopeless and I'm like
(26:15):
why am I doing this?
Like nothing good is going tocome of this, and sometimes just
just keeping hope, keeping hope, keep keep going, keep going
and just don't give up, becausea lot, lot of times, like when I
respond to medication in my 30s, like what's the point?
My life's over.
Well, now that I'm 43, hearingmy 30-year-old self saying that,
(26:36):
I think it's just silly, likeyou know.
And just keep going and keephope, keep hope alive.
Well, you never know, they justmight reach out Now in closing
what do you feel that peopleneed to hear about what you're
doing?
Just keeping hope, keeping hope, keep going, keep going and
just don't give up, because alot of times, like when I
(26:56):
respond to medication in my 30s,like what's the point, my
life's over.
Well, now that I'm 43, hearingmy 30-year-old self saying that,
I think it's silly.
And just keep going and keephope alive.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Absolutely Well.
This has been great, Greatconversation, great information.
Thanks for coming on.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Thank you so much for taking the time to interview me
.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Oh, it's been my pleasure.
Thanks again.
Thanks for taking the time outof your busy schedule to listen
to our show today.
We hope that you enjoyed it asmuch as we enjoyed bringing it
to you.
If you know anyone that wouldlike to tell us their story,
(27:42):
send them to TonyMantorcomContact then they can give us
their information so one daythey may be a guest on our show.
One more thing we ask telleveryone everywhere about why
Not Me, the world, theconversations we're having and
(28:03):
the inspiration our guests giveto everyone everywhere that you
are not alone in this world.
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