This Is Why Your Partner Is Not Meeting Your Needs EP 119

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down one of the most common communication traps in relationships: expecting your partner to read your mind.

Whether you're silently hoping your partner just knows you need a hug—or you're dropping hints that never land—this episode is your guide to getting what you actually need without spiraling, snapping, or shutting down.

From attachment styles to the six human needs, Shanenn explains why asking isn’t needy—it’s necessary—and gives you the exact words to use so your partner can finally show up for you.

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

• 💬 “Asking isn’t needy—it’s necessary.”
• 🧠 If you don’t say it, your partner is just guessing—and they’ll guess wrong.
• 🔄 Every time you don’t ask, you reinforce the belief that your needs don’t matter.
• 💥 Complaints like “you never text me” are often just unspoken needs for connection.
• 💡 Hint-dropping leads to disappointment. Clear, direct asks lead to connection.

⏰ Key Moments:

• 1:30 – Why “If they loved me, they’d just know” is a romantic myth
• 4:10 – How your partner’s brain is wired differently—and what that means for unmet needs
• 6:45 – What each attachment style sounds like when trying to get their needs met
• 10:15 – 3 hidden costs of not asking for what you want
• 13:50 – Shanenn’s hilarious story about trying to “fix” her mom’s venting session
• 17:10 – The 6 Human Needs and why your priorities may clash with your partner’s
• 23:20 – What your complaint is really about—and how to find the core need
• 26:30 – Simple scripts for clearly communicating your needs without guilt
• 30:00 – Why unmet needs aren’t about being needy—they’re about being unclear

🔗 Resources Mentioned:

• 📝 Take the Attachment Style Quiz
  to better understand how you relate to love

💬 Quote of the Episode:

“Your needs are like GPS coordinates. Without them, your partner is just driving in circles—hoping to land at the right destination.”

🎯 Perfect for listeners who:

• Struggle to ask for what they want without guilt
• Drop hints instead of expressing needs clearly
• Get frustrated when their partner doesn’t “just know”
• Want to stop spiraling and start speaking with confidence
• Are working to create more secure, emotionally honest relationships

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