Top Shelf Stories

Top Shelf Stories

In a world that often shuns the uncomfortable, we embrace it with open arms—and open laughs. Our candid narratives around our stories assure you that awkwardness is a shared human experience. Tune in, enjoy the ride, and maybe learn a thing or two.

Episodes

October 28, 2025 39 mins

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Three dads test the myth that boys are harder when they’re young and girls are tougher as teens, swapping stories from soccer fields, sleepovers, and chaotic living rooms. We push on what “structure” really means and share small tactics that make big differences.

• comparing boy energy with girl focus at practice
• first reactions to becoming a girl dad
• concert trips, marriage dynamics, and time awa...

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Tony, Jay, and Chris dive into the nightmarish experience of buying a vehicle from a dealership, exposing the tactics, frustrations, and time-wasting procedures that make it one of modern life's most dreaded transactions.

• Dealerships routinely keep customers for 4-5 hours before completing a vehicle purchase
• Modern vehicles are built with planned obsolescence, using plastic parts instead of durab...

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We dive into the therapeutic power of live music and the unforgettable experiences that come with concert-going culture. Chris shares his impressive tally of 104 Umphrey's McGee shows and the unique connections formed in their fan community.

• Concerts as full experiences: buying tickets in advance, planning travel, arranging accommodations
• The mystery of Chris's friend getting kicked out of a...

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October 7, 2025 37 mins

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The guys reunite after a brief hiatus to discuss one of their biggest dinner debacles ever, involving a Wing Stop order gone terribly wrong. They delve into the chaos that ensued when an order was mistakenly sent to a location 70 blocks away in a sketchy neighborhood.

• Debating whether boneless wings are actually wings or just glorified chicken nuggets
• Discussion of a lawsuit against BW3s for falsely a...

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October 3, 2025 3 mins
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October 1, 2025 29 mins

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We explore the unexpected health consequences following years of pandemic precautions and debate whether our immune systems are now paying the price for extended isolation.

• J shares how his son experienced a 15-day fever, culminating in an ambulance ride to the hospital
• Both strep throat and influenza diagnoses led to nearly a month of illness for J's son
• The entire household except for J&a...

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September 23, 2025 37 mins

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Three friends reflect on their complicated relationship with golf, from childhood obsessions to adult misadventures and the unexpected joys found in a sport that's simultaneously frustrating and addictive.

• Tony recounts learning golf at age 12 with his friend Jeff, playing endless rounds at a par-three course called Zoblocky
• Golf took a backseat when teenage interests emerged, but returned as an ...

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September 17, 2025 30 mins

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Three dads navigate the murky waters of online child safety, debating the real dangers of popular platforms like Roblox and why one father made the drastic decision to ban it from his children's devices.

• Shocking discovery of predatory behavior on Roblox, a platform with 65 million concurrent players
• Chris Hansen's involvement in exposing online predators targeting children through gaming pl...

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September 16, 2025 30 mins

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Three sports enthusiasts share their wildest and most memorable live sporting event experiences, from bench-clearing baseball brawls to electrifying UFC matches in Milwaukee.

• The thrill of watching a bench-clearing brawl at a Milwaukee Brewers game after a pitcher punched a player named Siri
• Using a mom's handicap parking tag to score prime tailgating spots at the stadium
• The unique experie...

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Chris reluctantly becomes a camper owner when his wife fulfills her longtime dream of buying a tow-behind camper for $1,000 from Facebook Marketplace. What follows is a hilarious journey into the unexpected realities of RV ownership, from towing nightmares to bathroom etiquette.

• Wife has wanted a camper for years, talking about fixing one up and eventually finding the perfect one
• Purchased a 2002 Keys...

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We share a nightmare hotel experience that occurred at the start of our family vacation to the Great Smoky Mountains, featuring an abandoned front desk, malfunctioning room equipment, and a tennis ball under the bed.

• The hotel nightmare begins with a 45-minute wait at an unmanned reception desk
• Phones ring unanswered throughout the hotel while guests stand helplessly in the lobby
• Room amenities ...

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Our magical Disney World adventure takes an unexpected turn when we encounter an army of gigantic Florida cockroaches during the Phantasmic nighttime show at Hollywood Studios. What begins as an exciting family outing with prime seating quickly transforms into a horror show as hundreds of enormous roaches emerge from a manhole cover, creating waves of panic throughout the audience.

• Giant cockroaches the siz...

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Three friends reminisce about their first cars and the freedom, breakdowns, and bizarre incidents that came with teenage car ownership in the 1990s.

• Jay's "Red Wolf" - a maroon Ford Taurus that cost $500 and lasted only a week before breaking down
• Chris's 1977 gold Pontiac Catalina with bench seating that received an unintentional tattoo imprint during a romantic encounter
• To...

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Jay recounts a reckless driving incident from his youth that resulted in property damage, legal consequences, and important life lessons. 

• Jay and his friend went to a dance club where they consumed alcohol
• After leaving, Jay drove recklessly, blowing through stop signs on the way home
• While turning a corner near his grandparents' house, Jay crashed into a neighbor's yard and brick wal...

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Tony recounts his recent three-day spa retreat celebrating his 24th wedding anniversary with his wife. The experience was filled with unexpected moments, awkward encounters, and surprising revelations about luxury pampering.

• Confusion about spa dress code leads Tony to wear only a robe with nothing underneath
• First-time facial experience with a specialist named after Tony's teenage crush (Topanga...

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July 1, 2025 32 mins

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Chris shares his frustrating experience with a car dealership over a warranty recall repair that turned into a multi-week ordeal of poor service and damaged car parts.

• Chris receives repeated recall notices about a buzzing sound in his minivan's sliding door
• Dealership makes him wait three weeks for an appointment, then doesn't have the needed part
• When returning for the rescheduled re...

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June 24, 2025 41 mins

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Jay and Chris discuss the uncomfortable realities of dealing with aggressive dogs while working in clients' homes, sharing personal stories of dog attacks and the complex aftermath.

• Jay recounts getting bitten by a client's poodle and how he instinctively punched the dog to defend himself
• Chris shares his more severe dog attack experience involving a Weimaraner that resulted in bleeding thro...

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Tony shares his harrowing experience flying back from Orlando with his 11-year-old son who has severe flight anxiety and his fearless 4-year-old who enjoyed tormenting his brother.

• Tony's family vacation to Orlando included theme parks, Legoland, Disney, and daily trips to Universal CityWalk
• The flight to Florida experienced one bad drop that triggered his son Chase's severe flight anxiety

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June 10, 2025 51 mins

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We dive into Chris's epic weekend house party that evolved into a 24-hour rager, complete with barbecue, fire pits, and an Umphrey's McGee concert adventure.

• Chris hosted an all-day party that transformed from a pre-concert gathering to a sunrise after-party
• The crew traveled to the Riverside Theater via city bus, where Chris befriended and smuggled a stranger named Isaac into the concert

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