October 14, 2025 ⢠44 mins
đŹ Topaz & Stillman â Episode 1: âRough Cutâ
 From the twisted universe of the hit horror drama Leo Brawn: Demon Hunter comes a brand-new spin-offâan outrageous action-comedy where Willie Topaz and Maury Stillman finally get the spotlight in Topaz & Stillman: An 80s Adventure.
The Lowdown
Willie Topaz, Hollywoodâs rising firecrackerâlate to rise, ladies in tow, blasting in a souped-up Firebird with Maury Stillman riding shotgun. By sundown, heâs clutching âBest Car Chaseâ at the Orion Awards and sending rival Rhythm Mercy into a slow burn. The press pokes at his past, the family he left behind⌠but before the applause fadesâbam. At 33, Willieâs gone.
Years later, bitter Rhythm finds himself behind the mic, forced to narrate Rough Cut: The Rise of Willie, reliving the legend he despised. Through his reluctant voice, we rewind to Clayton Ames: a kid with a star-shaped birthmark, dazzled by movie palaces, christened by a rough-cut gem. On set, tears flow for the first timeâthanks to coach Clifford Moss and an old flame returned.
Fast, funny, and slick with Hollywood satire, âRough Cutâ launches the sagaâambition, friendship, and a rivalry still smoldering long after the spotlight went dark.
The Lineup
Starring:
- Terry Briscoe as Willie Topaz (Brock Gatling)
- Jim Fronk as Maury Stillman
- Damon Alums as Rhythm Mercy (Narrator)
- Lisa Stewart LeBon as Cleo Ames
- Shaun Scott as Dallas Ames
- Diamandi Devereaux as Lyric Dorsey
- Mike Pelletier as Kiff Maxon
- Eric Carlino as Clifford Moss
- Logan Beard as Clayton Dunbar Ames
- Michael Cunningham as Host/Announcer
Also Starring:
- Mitch Leschinski as Audio Engineer
- Mike Pelletier as George Clemonstreet (reporter), Caleb Barker (Natyr Zane) & 2nd AD
- Stitch Mainville as Balthazar Crumlin (reporter)
- Emily Fry as Jamie Burnham (reporter)
- Samantha deSuze as Tatiana Marigold (reporter)
- Robb Smith as Ronald Buttress (reporter)
- Lucas Martinez as Doctor Chambers
- Brian Dahms as Gem Store Employee
- Bill Celler as Entertainment Reporter
The Crew
- Executive Producers: Terry Briscoe & Jim Fronk
- Associate Producer: Andy Parkin
The Tune
"The Willie Strut" performed by Possum Bobby
- Producers: Robert Lloyd, John Pennington, Bob HarveyÂ
- Composer/All Guitars, Bass Guitar: Robert Lloyd
- Drums: Marcus Graham
- Post Production, Keyboards: John Pennington
- Recorded and Mixed at Fahrenheit Studio by Bob Harvey and John J.P. Pennington
The Hub
- https://www.patreon.com/c/ShoestringTV
- https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/shoestringtv/topaz-and-stillman-an-80s-adventure-podcast
- https://youtube.com/@shoestringtv7048?si=js5A-O
Concept by Jim Fronk & Terry Briscoe
Created, written, directed & mixed by Jason Beard
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_03 (00:29):
Willie?
You missed your wake up callagain.
What?
Oh shit.
All right, I'll get up.
Hello.
Nineteen eighty-four is calling.
Take advantage of the technologyavailable, my man.
The hotel can do this for you.
They do all the work.
All you have to do is actuallyget up.
We're living on the cusp of thefuture, and you still wait for
(00:51):
me to sing you a damn lullaby.
SPEAKER_06 (00:53):
I said I'm getting up.
SPEAKER_03 (00:55):
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Not without some clothes.
Here, put this on.
Uh, come on, ladies.
Um, I'm so glad y'all had whatwas clearly a good night at the
Chateau Montebello, but uh TanteSkidado! Let's go! Let's go! Oh,
yes, that's cute, yeah, yeah.
Uh, leave your number.
I have no doubt Mr.
(01:16):
Topaz will reach out soon.
Uh okay?
Bye-bye! Well, twins.
Huh?
Huh?
They were twins?
Uh good reminder.
I still need to reschedule yourappointment for an optometrist.
Hurry up, finish gettingdressed.
What is this?
SPEAKER_06 (01:34):
Uh, whiskey, I think.
Oh.
Nope.
Tequila! Where's the award showtaking place?
SPEAKER_03 (01:44):
The Intercontinental.
Downtown LA.
And we're in the Montebello, soit's gonna be tight.
SPEAKER_06 (01:50):
Who schedules an award show this early in the
morning?
SPEAKER_03 (01:54):
Willie, it's four in the afternoon.
And the award show starting atfive.
And as for who, it's the OrionAction Awards.
Would you finish gettingdressed, please?
We can talk in the limo.
SPEAKER_06 (02:07):
We have a limo?
SPEAKER_03 (02:08):
Yes, we have a limo! I got it for a sweet discount,
too.
Friend of a friend of a cousin'sfriend who's a member of the
Signari Club.
Will you get dressed?
Something formal, please.
We can discuss your questionablelife choices on the way out.
SPEAKER_06 (02:27):
You think my life choices are questionable.
SPEAKER_03 (02:32):
Just needed the extra thing.
Now, get dressed.
SPEAKER_06 (02:44):
Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (02:46):
Now that's a movie star.
How the hell did you change sofast?
Are you complaining?
No, no, you're right.
It's just uh it takes me 20minutes just to find my damn
shoes.
SPEAKER_06 (02:58):
Maury, limo's waiting.
SPEAKER_03 (03:02):
Where the fuck is the limo?
Oh, god damn those signaries!
SPEAKER_06 (03:07):
Relax.
I've got talent in the back.
SPEAKER_03 (03:09):
Talon?
Huh.
Please don't tell me you'reoffering to drive.
I get motion sickness whenyou're behind the wheel.
SPEAKER_06 (03:18):
That's probably from the 40 different chemicals you
have coursing through yourveins, not my driving.
SPEAKER_03 (03:24):
All right, all right.
You have a point, okay, okay.
But listen, listen.
Uh no need for Steve McQueen,all right?
This isn't bullet.
Ori, chill out.
SPEAKER_06 (03:34):
I was trained by the best.
SPEAKER_03 (03:37):
You were trained by Stan Barrett to turn into a
controlled roll and jump throughrings of fire.
Holy smoking shit! This is aPontiac Firebird transient
turbo! I think it just peed mypants a little.
SPEAKER_06 (03:52):
Again, probably from the zing.
Pop in.
SPEAKER_03 (03:59):
Another car.
I hope you lease this.
Paid in full.
Cash.
Hello.
Adding your spending choices tothe list of questionable life
choices.
And uh you're handing me ahelmet.
Why?
SPEAKER_06 (04:14):
This beautiful piece of machinery comes with a V8
engine and 210 horsepower.
It can go from zero to 60 inabout eight seconds.
That's out of the factory.
SPEAKER_03 (04:24):
Uh-oh.
Uh well, I feel uh uh uh a buttcoming on.
I'm right, right?
There's a big butt coming.
SPEAKER_06 (04:32):
But my man Maurice, he made a few modifications.
Uh-oh.
Um, what modifications?
You want some zinc.
I'll give you some zinc.
SPEAKER_08 (04:48):
I didn't even get to put the album!
SPEAKER_19 (05:03):
Two string TV proudly presents Topaz and
Stillman, an 80s adventure, atwo-string TV production.
Tonight's premier episode, RoughCut, starring Terry Frisco as
Willie Topaz, and Jim Frank asLaurie Stillman.
(05:24):
Written and directed by JasonBeard.
SPEAKER_06 (06:06):
Let me guess.
Uppers, downers, or half a poundof nose can?
SPEAKER_03 (06:12):
I'll have you know it was huevos rancheros.
So a poor choice.
SPEAKER_06 (06:18):
What a what am I up for?
SPEAKER_03 (06:21):
Best car chase action sequence.
SPEAKER_06 (06:24):
For which movie?
SPEAKER_03 (06:26):
Do you ever read the itinerary?
Brock Gatlin.
Sleep when I'm dead.
Ah, that car chase was dope.
Okay, okay, we're at theentrance.
Let me do all the talking.
Find out where we're sitting,okay?
SPEAKER_06 (06:41):
Uh Maury?
What is it, Willie?
SPEAKER_11 (06:45):
You still have the helmet on the winner for best
actor in Car Chase ActionSequences.
SPEAKER_03 (07:03):
Willie Top We did it.
How do I look?
Look like a crop on the bed andI'm working on a kid.
(07:26):
You look like a million bucks.
You probably freaking bucks.
SPEAKER_06 (07:34):
Thank you so much.
I want to thank the Orion FilmAssociation and their members
for this prestigious award.
First and foremost, I want tothank the manager of the
century, Maurice Stillman.
This award is as much his as itis mine.
I also have to thank the stuntcoordinator and crew.
I would not have been able togive such a powerful performance
(07:54):
without their skillful guidance.
Lastly, I just want to thank thefans.
All of you that pay to see BrockGatling, those that write me or
walk up to me on the street andtell me how much these movies
have meant to you.
You know, back when I was a boy,in those meager and humble
beginnings, I couldn't evenimagine an evening such as
tonight.
(08:15):
Thank you very much.
So, how did I do?
SPEAKER_03 (08:25):
Smooth as silk, my friend.
I couldn't help but notice ourfriend was shooting daggers the
whole time, though.
SPEAKER_06 (08:35):
Mr.
with a mercy.
Oh, he's always had a problemwith me.
Why?
I can't even remember.
Oh, I do.
SPEAKER_03 (08:43):
It's called jealousy.
Otherwise, known as envy.
And you know, that's one of thedeadly sins.
But don't sweat it.
Willie, this is your night.
SPEAKER_06 (08:55):
It's our night.
SPEAKER_10 (09:03):
Mr.
Topaz, Jamie Vernon withEntertainment Worldwide.
Thanks for sitting down with meand congratulations on your win
tonight.
SPEAKER_06 (09:11):
My pleasure, Jamie.
Yes, it was a big win for theBroad Gatling franchise and for
my team.
SPEAKER_10 (09:18):
I did happen to notice something I found to be
unusual during your acceptancespeech.
SPEAKER_06 (09:24):
My acceptance speech?
Well, yes, I should haveactually written something.
I was sort of winging it upthere.
SPEAKER_10 (09:31):
You alluded to your meager and humble beginnings,
but you didn't specificallymention your family, your mom
and dad.
SPEAKER_06 (09:39):
Uh, I I didn't.
SPEAKER_10 (09:41):
No, which brought me to this question.
Is there something about yourpast that led you to omit them?
SPEAKER_06 (09:48):
No, no, not at all.
I mean, obviously the support ofmy mom and dad helped me get to
where I am today, even if wedon't speak or see each other
that often anymore.
SPEAKER_10 (09:59):
Interesting.
So from the past, now let's looktowards the future.
What do you see for Willie Topeas the action star?
SPEAKER_06 (10:07):
Hmm.
Well, Jamie, I think sky's thelimit.
SPEAKER_15 (10:22):
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm just receiving a
breaking report.
Um, is is this accurate?
My god.
Ladies and gentlemen, sorry forthe momentary delay.
Um very sad to report that theactor Willie Topaz of Brock
Gatling and Archie Magnet famehas died.
(10:43):
He was only 33 years old.
SPEAKER_00 (10:46):
This is Tatiana Marigold's reporting.
Although details are scarce,Willie Topaz's death is being
investigated as a homicide.
Detectives did indicate they hada suspect, but no further
information was provided at thetime of this broadcast.
SPEAKER_13 (11:08):
The killer has not been written.
Sources close to theinvestigation report of the
murderer has been dubbed theForever Mind Killer.
SPEAKER_10 (11:15):
A recent recipient of the Orion Action Committee's
best performance during a carchase.
I asked Willie about his familyand the fact that they had
recently become estranged.
I do hope prior to his finalmoment, Willie was able to
reconnect with his parents.
Cleo reached out the same.
SPEAKER_12 (11:35):
This is Representatives with the express
family.
We reached out to his parents,Cleo would tell the same, but
they were unable to come.
Representative for the family tothis statement.
SPEAKER_11 (11:52):
It was a screen.
SPEAKER_19 (12:05):
He's gone.
Due to the pattern and themystic nature of the crimes, we
classified the suspect as aserial killer who is dangerous
and at large.
SPEAKER_04 (12:22):
Oh, there he is.
unknown (12:24):
Mr.
SPEAKER_04 (12:24):
Stillman, Mr.
Stillman, George Clement Streetwith the LAB.
We're so sorry for your loss.
Is there anything you'd like tosay to all the Brock Gatling
fans out there?
SPEAKER_03 (12:34):
Come on.
Guys, hey, it's really not agood time.
Look, Billy wasn't just mynumber one client.
He was my best friend.
SPEAKER_04 (12:49):
I'll miss him dearly.
Do you have any response to therumors that Rhythm Mercy, a
known rival and fellow actor,may be in the running to pick up
the Brock Gambling mantle?
SPEAKER_03 (13:02):
My response is to read.
SPEAKER_04 (13:21):
Well, folks, you heard it here first.
Certainly, no love lost betweenStillman and Mercy.
Time will tell what the futureholds for them all.
SPEAKER_01 (13:36):
Big news tonight: Rhythm Mercy has signed on to
narrate the brand new book, TheRise of Willy.
Yes, the same Rhythm Mercy whoonce clashed with Willie Topaz
in one of Hollywood's mostinfamous rivalries.
And if you recall, that feudraged right up until Willie's
tragic death.
And while the man is gone, thebad blood lives on.
Three decades later.
SPEAKER_16 (13:57):
I fucking hate Willie Topaz.
What are you doing?
We were recording.
I understand that.
But imagine my discontent.
I'm asking for some empathyhere.
SPEAKER_17 (14:14):
Oh, I'm sorry, and I'm just asking for a decent
lunchtime.
So do us both a favor,regardless of your discontent,
please just read the script.
SPEAKER_16 (14:28):
And if I refuse.
SPEAKER_17 (14:31):
Hey hey.
Rhythm.
SPEAKER_16 (14:33):
Mr.
Mercy, if you please.
SPEAKER_17 (14:37):
Okay.
Mr.
Mercy, you're essentiallyalready blacklisted from most
studios around town.
What's your point?
Well, my point is everyone knowsthe beef you had with Willie
Topaz, but considering this is arecording of his biography after
(14:58):
his death, do you really want itto be seen as this petty?
Do you really want it to bereported that you're now in
breach of contract?
I mean, let's face it, you needthis, don't you?
It's been what, almost 38 years?
So top of page two.
(15:20):
Top of page two, if you please,Mr.
Mercy.
SPEAKER_16 (15:27):
Rough Cut, The Rise of Willie, written by Maury
Stillman.
Read by Rhythm Mercy.
As all stories of icons should,the story of legendary excuse
me.
Really.
SPEAKER_17 (15:48):
This fucking guy.
Hey, we're burning daylight, Mr.
Mercy.
Take two, and we're rolling.
SPEAKER_16 (16:01):
As all stories of icons should, the story of
legendary action movie star,Vespian, humanitarian, and
Lothario Willy Topaz starts atthe beginning.
(16:27):
It's October 1st, 1953.
The United States and SouthKorea signed a mutual defense
treaty in Washington, D.C.
The number one song is TheVelvet Glove by Hugh
Winterhalter and his orchestra.
The number one movie in thecountry is The Big Heart by
Fritz Lang.
But most notably, Willie Topazwould enter this world at
(16:49):
exactly midnight in the birthingward of the Northwest Hospital
in Randallstown, Maryland.
And believe you me, the worldwould take notice.
Parents Cleo Ames, former trackand field Olympian, now
respected elementary schoolteacher, and Dallas Ames,
physicist and mentor, gave birthto a healthy seven-pound baby
(17:13):
boy.
SPEAKER_14 (17:14):
Oh Dallas, look at him.
Ha ha!
SPEAKER_20 (17:18):
We did it, Cleo! We?
Well, you did it, but I wascheering you from the sidelines.
Are you okay?
Can I get you anything?
I created these hydrationtablets if you're feeling
parched.
SPEAKER_14 (17:30):
No, honey.
I just want to look at ourbeautiful baby boy.
Oh my goodness.
He's he's exceptional.
SPEAKER_20 (17:40):
He definitely takes after you.
Mr.
and Mrs.
SPEAKER_19 (17:44):
Ames?
SPEAKER_14 (17:44):
Yes, Doctor.
Is everything okay?
SPEAKER_19 (17:47):
Oh, absolutely.
That is one healthy, handsomeboy you have there.
I'm holding your certified birthrecord here.
Uh, do you have a name for thisprecious child?
SPEAKER_20 (17:56):
Dallas.
Yes, doctor.
We're naming him after her olderbrother, Clayton Dunbar.
SPEAKER_19 (18:02):
Clayton Dunbar Ames.
That is one groovy name.
Oh, my.
Did you see this?
SPEAKER_16 (18:09):
So it would come to pass that the action star Willie
Topaz entered this world asClayton Dunbar Ames.
However, there would be anotherfootnote on this momentous
occasion.
The doctor notices an unusualmark on the newborn and slides
the blanket aside to reveal astar-shaped birthmark on the
(18:29):
child's back.
SPEAKER_20 (18:31):
Well, would you look at that?
It's almost a perfect star.
That's right.
My son will be an astronaut, anastronomer.
SPEAKER_14 (18:43):
No, baby.
I can tell.
He's gonna be a superstar.
SPEAKER_16 (18:55):
It's 1959.
Cleo and Dallas Ames would raiseClayton in Washington, D.C., off
of Belmont Street.
Young Clayton, a precocioussix-year-old, walks down the
booming U Street corridor withhis dodgy mother, where they
happen to pass by the RepublicTheater.
The Alfred Hitchcock film Northby Northwest is playing, and
(19:18):
there is a line of moviegoerswinding out of the entrance.
SPEAKER_14 (19:31):
Mommy, what is that place?
Oh, that is the RepublicTheater.
They play movies there.
Movies?
It's like watching TV, but on amuch bigger screen.
And you get to do it with yourfriends and neighbors.
It's so bright.
SPEAKER_18 (19:46):
Everyone is smiling.
SPEAKER_14 (19:48):
Would you like to go to the movies one day?
SPEAKER_18 (19:50):
Yes, mommy.
I'd like that very much.
SPEAKER_14 (19:52):
Okay.
I'll talk it over with yourdaddy, and we'll go sometime.
SPEAKER_18 (19:57):
Really?
Who's the man in the picture?
SPEAKER_14 (20:01):
Oh, that's a movie poster.
And the man on the poster isCarrie Grant.
He's the star of the movie.
A star?
A movie star.
He's an actor.
The actors are the ones who playin the movie.
They get to play.
In a way, yes.
They play pretend.
They pretend to be differentpeople with different names and
(20:23):
pretend to live someone else'slife.
SPEAKER_18 (20:26):
Grown-ups can play pretend?
SPEAKER_14 (20:28):
Some grown-ups, yes.
SPEAKER_18 (20:31):
Probably not daddy.
SPEAKER_14 (20:34):
No, your dad prefers inventing to pretending.
SPEAKER_18 (20:38):
Mommy, you called him a star?
SPEAKER_14 (20:41):
Yes, that's what they're called.
When they become famous.
SPEAKER_18 (20:44):
A star, like my mark.
SPEAKER_14 (20:47):
That's right, Clayton.
I believe you are destined forgreat things.
I feel that deep in my soul.
But I want you to understand.
Fame, being a star, in and ofitself, is of no value.
It's what you do with yournotoriety that matters.
SPEAKER_18 (21:05):
Notor.
notoriety?
SPEAKER_14 (21:09):
Notoriety.
What do you think that means?
SPEAKER_18 (21:13):
I think it means that we're getting ice cream.
SPEAKER_14 (21:18):
Okay, okay.
Ice cream it is.
SPEAKER_16 (21:24):
Willie would see his first movie in the Republic
Theater in the U Streetcorridor, as well as countless
more throughout the years.
Although he was an avidmoviegoer for the next four
years, the idea he could becomeone of the greatest actors of a
generation.
Son of a bitch!
SPEAKER_17 (21:43):
The greatest actor of a generation.
And we're rolling take three.
SPEAKER_16 (21:54):
The idea that he would become one of the greatest
actors of a generation neverdawned on him.
It wouldn't be until 1963 whenthe first hint of stardom would
present itself.
The first colonel that wouldbring about the iconic name
Willie Topaz.
SPEAKER_14 (22:13):
Leo!
unknown (22:14):
Leo!
SPEAKER_14 (22:15):
Yes, honey.
What is it?
SPEAKER_20 (22:17):
Can you ask Clayton to come here?
I need some help with thesemiconductor injection laser.
SPEAKER_14 (22:22):
Of course you do.
Now don't go burning down thehouse with that.
SPEAKER_20 (22:26):
Oh, not to worry, my darling dove.
Although, a solid-state laser.
The laser emitting diode will beinfrared in nature, emitting
coherent radiation.
SPEAKER_14 (22:38):
Dallas, will it burn down the house?
Well no.
Then I will go get our son.
SPEAKER_20 (22:49):
Okay.
Now son, very gently, lower thecasing down on the table.
Very good.
Okay, perfect.
Now, stand over by that lightswitch and when I tell you to,
flip the switch.
SPEAKER_18 (23:05):
That's it.
Just flip it.
SPEAKER_20 (23:09):
That's it, son.
SPEAKER_18 (23:11):
What will this do anyway?
SPEAKER_20 (23:13):
You see, when an electrical current is passed
through a diode, hence the lightswitch.
SPEAKER_18 (23:19):
Dad!
SPEAKER_20 (23:21):
We're going to generate a photon.
SPEAKER_18 (23:24):
A photon?
SPEAKER_20 (23:25):
Yes.
Now, get into position.
SPEAKER_18 (23:32):
Okay, I'm ready.
Flip it.
SPEAKER_20 (23:42):
Motherfuck! I mean Dad gummit.
SPEAKER_18 (23:48):
What happened?
SPEAKER_20 (23:50):
That would be the erbium.
Which I thought would be aperfect conductor for the lazy
wavelength of mission.
But it was all for naught.
Wanna take a ride?
SPEAKER_18 (24:03):
Where are we going?
SPEAKER_16 (24:05):
Willie's father, Dallas Ames, would bring his
impressionable son to thedistrict gym's rock and mineral
store in Washington, D.C.
Little would the manager oremployees of the store know that
within their walls walked afuture movie star of the highest
caliber.
SPEAKER_18 (24:25):
And what are we looking for again?
SPEAKER_20 (24:27):
We need a gem with high thermal conductivity and
one that is chemically inert.
If we can find one with ahardness of seven on the Mo
scale, even better.
SPEAKER_18 (24:37):
Okay, so something tough.
Got it.
SPEAKER_20 (24:39):
That's right.
Very good.
SPEAKER_18 (24:42):
Wow, what about these?
SPEAKER_20 (24:45):
Hmm?
Which one, son?
SPEAKER_18 (24:46):
Those golden ones are so pretty.
SPEAKER_20 (24:48):
They're yellow, technically speaking.
More commonly blue, but yes, Ithink you might have something.
Well, go ahead.
Pick one.
Nothing too perfect or smooth.
We need one with a rough cut.
SPEAKER_18 (25:00):
Rough cut.
Got it.
How about this one?
SPEAKER_20 (25:05):
Yes.
Yes, that may very well work.
Excuse me, sir.
Can I help you with something?
Uh no.
In fact, I think we found whatwe came for.
I can take that for you.
Keep it for you at the register.
Oh.
I see.
No.
(25:26):
That won't be necessary.
We're just about finished here.
Okay.
Well, let's make it quick, shallwe?
SPEAKER_18 (25:38):
What's his problem?
SPEAKER_20 (25:40):
Other than being an ignorant prick?
SPEAKER_18 (25:43):
Dad?
SPEAKER_20 (25:44):
Uh, don't tell your mom I said that.
SPEAKER_18 (25:47):
So what is it called?
The gem?
SPEAKER_20 (25:49):
Oh, yes, yes, yes, the gem, right.
It's called uh!
SPEAKER_04 (25:55):
You want it on set.
SPEAKER_16 (25:58):
It's 1981, and Willie is walking along the set
of the very first Brock Gatlingfilm, Brock Gatling, Six Smoking
Barrels.
Although a historic occasion inits own right, Willie has no
idea that he is about to reunitewith a childhood friend.
SPEAKER_03 (26:19):
Nice digs, right?
I built it into your rider.
Always have a top-of-the-linetrailer.
SPEAKER_06 (26:25):
Yeah, it's nice, Maury.
SPEAKER_03 (26:27):
Uh, thank you.
Willie, perk up, why don't you?
You hit the big time.
There's no telling where thiscould go.
What gives?
SPEAKER_06 (26:36):
It's the scenes today.
Have you read the sides?
I read contracts.
You read scripts.
Look, I could do fight scenes,shoot all kinds of guns and
stunt driving all day long, butthis scene is calling for me to
cry on cue.
SPEAKER_03 (26:55):
Well, sounds like you need the moss boss.
Nope.
Nothing?
Okay.
SPEAKER_06 (27:02):
Uh, you said that like you were expecting
something to happen.
SPEAKER_03 (27:06):
I mean the moss boss knows Meisner.
Check off, and hey, you know, Iwas kinda hoping for a smash cut
or something.
Okay, try it again.
Sounds like you need the mossboss.
SPEAKER_16 (27:25):
Clifford Moss, aka the Moss Boss, is an excellent
and talented actor in his ownright.
But the life of a single fatheroutweighed a path towards grits
and glamour, choosing to raisehis daughter rather than a life
in the spotlight.
This choice, however, gave wayto a promising career as an
acting coach.
SPEAKER_02 (27:47):
Maury, you know how much I hate that nickname.
Where's the little one?
My sister agreed to watch her,but I only have an hour.
So where is our actor searchingfor motivation?
Willie!
SPEAKER_03 (28:00):
We got the Marsboss here!
SPEAKER_02 (28:02):
Really, it's not a good nickname.
It doesn't even really makesense.
Clifford! I really appreciateyou coming on such short notice.
You're my prized pupil.
Plus, this looks like the realdeal.
Gotta get this performance down.
You wanna rehearse here?
I'll leave you both to it.
SPEAKER_03 (28:21):
I think craft service just opened.
Something called HuevosRancheros is on the menu, and I
must try it.
SPEAKER_06 (28:29):
Huevos Rancheros?
What are the ingredients?
Sausage patties and nose candy?
SPEAKER_03 (28:35):
I take offense to that, my friend.
Everyone knows I'm a vegetarian.
SPEAKER_02 (28:47):
Okay, uh, you have the sides?
Yeah.
Here you go.
Hmm.
So Brock is being held atgunpoint by the villain, Nader
Zane, where our hero learns thatNader was the one responsible
for Brock's parents' deaths.
Death by piranha.
(29:07):
What a way to go.
Then you relive your finalmoments with your parents and
cry.
SPEAKER_06 (29:16):
Hmm.
Yeah, that's the part.
I've never had to cry on demandbefore.
How much time do we have?
They've already called me toset.
SPEAKER_02 (29:24):
Okay then, we're fast forwarding to the moss
method.
Moss method.
I like it.
First step.
Hydrate.
Drink a ton of water.
Next, dabble in yoga.
Stretch it out.
The idea is to feel loose andreally connect with your body.
Do you know any yoga?
I know the downward dog.
SPEAKER_03 (29:43):
Dopaz, Nij John said, 30 seconds.
SPEAKER_02 (29:46):
Okay.
Time is of the essence.
Then assume the position.
Okay.
How long?
Yeah.
Yoga is not for the feign ofheart.
A couple more seconds.
SPEAKER_05 (30:04):
The human body is not supposed to bend like this.
SPEAKER_03 (30:14):
Okay, uh right, uh so I'm obviously here too soon.
I'll give you more time.
SPEAKER_02 (30:22):
Don't tell a soul, Maury.
Willie, relax.
Yoga is really starting to catchon.
Okay.
I feel loose.
What's next?
Okay.
Next, when it's go time, don'tblink.
If you feel the urge, shallowbreathe.
Uh it tricks the body intotearing up.
Or force a yawn.
(30:44):
Try it.
Yawn?
SPEAKER_06 (30:46):
A fake yawn?
SPEAKER_02 (30:47):
Yeah, just give it a go.
Uh did he work?
No fake yawns.
You yawn weird.
Okay, last shot.
Dig deep.
Find a real memory.
Something that cuts or dropBrock into that heartbreak and
(31:09):
feel it like it's yours.
That's when the tears come.
Can you think of any memory fromyour past you could draw from?
SPEAKER_16 (31:18):
Willie can think of such a memory.
One he has long shut out of hisconsciousness.
He thinks of the one who gotaway.
The one he yearns for to thisday.
SPEAKER_06 (31:31):
Yeah, there is one.
SPEAKER_02 (31:33):
She was uh the Oh oh, don't mention it.
Just hold on to it, leave itjust under the surface.
And when the time is right, letit burst forth.
SPEAKER_06 (31:48):
Burst forth?
Let it simmer until then, butdon't lose it.
Precisely.
SPEAKER_02 (31:56):
Yeah, ended the lesson.
Now I have to relieve my sisterbefore she disowns me.
Feel good?
Yeah, really good.
No.
You're supposed to feel likeshit.
Right.
SPEAKER_06 (32:09):
Utterly depressed.
Thanks, Clifford.
SPEAKER_02 (32:11):
Moss boss.
Oh god, don't let that catch on.
SPEAKER_03 (32:18):
Oh good.
You're upright again, huh?
I wasn't really comfortablehaving a conversation with your
ass.
We got lucky.
Apparently, the actress they hadcast to play the villain's
assistant dropped out, but theyhad a backup, so you weren't the
only cause of the delay.
But uh, I bought all the time Icould spare, so uh they really
need you on set.
(32:39):
You good?
SPEAKER_06 (32:41):
Nah, real shitty.
Fucking miserable.
SPEAKER_16 (32:53):
Willie walks from his trailer and into the studio.
He passes by the crew andexecutives.
They all whisper as he strollsby.
So, this is the new guy.
He's our star.
Yes, Carl Weathers wasn'tavailable.
He ignores the naysayers.
This is the moment he's beenwaiting for to show the world.
(33:16):
But even more so, his mother andfather, Cleo and Dallas Ames.
And their boy has finally madeit.
He holds his head high, walksonto the set, and immediately
stands at his mark.
The film's director walks overto Willie.
SPEAKER_04 (33:38):
Ah, Mr.
Topez! You have arrived! Been tothe costume and makeup yet?
SPEAKER_06 (33:44):
I do not think this is your wardrobe.
No, Mr.
Maxson.
But I'm ready to do this.
Let's go.
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no,Mr.
Maxon! Keefe! Just call meKeith! Yes, sir, Keith.
I'm ready.
It's Keith, not Keith.
(34:05):
But that is neither you northere.
For I am suddenly aroused byyour enthusiasm.
Yes, yes.
This is the look.
Your face, it needs no makeup.
It's perfect.
Oh, it's made of a marble and agranite.
It is so very hard and and amacho.
(34:29):
Look at you.
Oh, I could squeeze your cheeks.
SPEAKER_16 (34:34):
We roll.
The acclaimed actor Caleb Barkerenters the set, dressed in all
black.
The villain Nator Zayn, fullypersonified.
SPEAKER_06 (34:50):
Hey kid, so uh, I hear you're my arch enemy.
Yes, and I must say it's a realhonor.
SPEAKER_04 (34:59):
The honor is all mine, kid.
You got the goods from what Ihear.
Hey, let's do this for us today,okay?
Go out there and have some fun.
SPEAKER_06 (35:08):
Okay, I'm ready.
SPEAKER_04 (35:11):
Quiet on the set.
Sound.
SPEAKER_00 (35:14):
Sound rolling?
SPEAKER_04 (35:15):
Camera.
Camera's rolling.
SPEAKER_06 (35:19):
Okay, Mr.
Topez.
Let's make some magic together.
SPEAKER_11 (35:23):
Alright, scene 32, eh?
Take one.
Mark.
Action.
SPEAKER_04 (35:42):
Well, well, well.
It's the indomitable BrockKapling standing before me.
So to speak.
SPEAKER_06 (35:53):
Your reputation precedes you.
Your stench precedes you.
Oh, charming to the last, huh?
Slap in.
Always using others to get whatyou want.
Never getting your hands dirty.
(36:16):
Oh, I'm sure you view that ashaving power.
But I see it as weak andcowardice.
Oh, you do, do you?
Well, you see, I am wealthybeyond my wildest dreams.
Why do it myself when I can hiresomeone else to do it?
You're all these scapegoats.
(36:37):
Don't you see that?
I don't understand how you couldjust sit there in your
designer's suit and order anassault at the Pentagon.
Destroy a village in Prague, orkill your parents?
Fuck did you just say?
What did you just say, youbastard?
Oh yes.
You see, they slept so verypeacefully, unwillingly
(37:01):
unconscious as they were.
Then they became quiteterrified.
To wake up in a vat full offerocious piranha.
You're saying that was you?
Well, as you so succinctlypointed out, I gave the order.
(37:27):
You will see, Mr.
Catling, that this time I willuse my own hands.
But they still won't get dirty.
Bring in the chemist.
SPEAKER_05 (37:46):
You whack bastard son of a bitch! That was
supposed to be the best vacationof their lives! My dad had
finally retired.
Both of them had worked so hard,saving every penny to finally
take their dream trip to theAmazon.
Oh, such noble people! Fillersof their community.
(38:08):
They deserve to be honored, nottorn apart.
SPEAKER_16 (38:11):
Willie knows that with the next line, tears must
flow.
He reaches back into hismemories and unlocks an image he
has tried to forget.
A girl.
The most kind and interestingperson he had ever met.
The one that got away.
(38:35):
Lyric Dorsey, the one who hadcaptured his heart all those
years before, to his completeastonishment, now stood before
him.
She was the replacement actressfor the scene, and she had now
become a woman.
There she was, his unrequitedlove, standing only a few feet
(38:58):
away.
An ominous-looking syringe inher hand, ready to inject a
lethal dose into Brock Gatling'sveins.
Willie opens his mouth, hisbottom lip quivers.
He begins to tremble, and tearsflow down his cheeks as he
utters the defiant line.
SPEAKER_05 (39:18):
A king and queen amongst men.
And I will be offense and thecut.
SPEAKER_04 (39:40):
Oh my goodness, ladies and gentlemen, I I think
what we just witnessed was aperformance in its rawest and
the purest form.
My eyelids are moist from my owntears.
SPEAKER_06 (39:53):
I say this with the utmost satisfaction and
confidence.
We can break for lunch, let'sgo.
Lyric.
Lyric Dorsey.
Is that really you?
SPEAKER_09 (40:14):
Yes, it is.
I wasn't sure if you'd recognizeme.
SPEAKER_06 (40:18):
I've never forgot.
You're not an easy person toforget.
Um so you're an actor?
I wouldn't have thought.
SPEAKER_09 (40:29):
I never gave it much thought in high school, even in
theater class.
I didn't get bitten by the buguntil recently.
SPEAKER_06 (40:37):
Wow.
Amazing.
So how long are you with me, uh,with us on the shoot?
SPEAKER_09 (40:44):
Just a day player?
Last minute replacement.
Way different than you! You'rethe great rocketling.
You're the face of this.
I'm very proud of you, Willie.
And I'm sure your parents aretoo.
SPEAKER_06 (40:59):
Oh, um, yes.
They definitely are.
So what are you doing now?
I have a few scenes left today,but I'd love to catch up.
SPEAKER_09 (41:09):
Uh, you should join us tonight at the Eclipse Club.
It's in the Arch District off uhPalmetto.
My boyfriend will be performingsome spoken word poetry there.
SPEAKER_06 (41:20):
Oh, uh, your boyfriend?
SPEAKER_09 (41:23):
Yeah, uh, he's here actually.
He was hoping to meet you.
SPEAKER_16 (41:33):
Willie looks on with bewilderment as Lyric's
so-called boyfriend strides ontothe set.
He's dressed in a faux fur coatand wingtip shoes.
He has the facial expression ofsomeone who has complete disdain
by his surroundings.
Willie extends a hand, but theman just smirks.
(41:55):
He never returns the gesture orremoves his sizable shades.
SPEAKER_09 (41:59):
This is Willie, my friend from high school, the one
I told you about.
SPEAKER_06 (42:03):
It's nice to meet you.
Sorry, I didn't catch your name.
It's rhythm.
SPEAKER_16 (42:09):
Rhythm mercy.
SPEAKER_17 (42:22):
We were almost done.
I'm sorry, my brother.
SPEAKER_16 (42:27):
It's just so funny.
He may have had the career, butI got the girl.
SPEAKER_19 (42:50):
And that's a wrap on tonight's explosive adventure
with Topaz and Stillman,starring Terry Brisco as Willie
Topaz, Jim Frank as LaurieStillman, Damon Alams as Rhythm
Mercy, Lisa Stewart Lavon asCleo Aides, John Scott as Dallas
(43:14):
Aides, Diamondi Devereaux asLyric Dorsey, Eric Carlino as
Clifford Moss.
For full credits, see our shownotes.
Topaz and Stillman, an 80sadventure, is a shoestring TV
production written and directedby Jason Beard.
(43:35):
Want more parties, hot rods,explosions, and condom
commercials your mom woulddefinitely disapprove of.
Support us at patreon.comforward slash shoestring TV, or
look for us anywhere you listento podcasts.
And don't touch that dial,because coming soon, episode
two, The Cutting Room Part One.
(43:58):
This is Mike Cunningham saying,stay tuned!
Willie?
You missed your wake up callagain.
What?
Oh shit.
All right, I'll get up.
Hello.
Nineteen eighty-four is calling.
Take advantage of the technologyavailable, my man.
The hotel can do this for you.
They do all the work.
All you have to do is actuallyget up.
We're living on the cusp of thefuture, and you still wait for
(00:51):
me to sing you a damn lullaby.
SPEAKER_06 (00:53):
I said I'm getting up.
SPEAKER_03 (00:55):
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Not without some clothes.
Here, put this on.
Uh, come on, ladies.
Um, I'm so glad y'all had whatwas clearly a good night at the
Chateau Montebello, but uh TanteSkidado! Let's go! Let's go! Oh,
yes, that's cute, yeah, yeah.
Uh, leave your number.
I have no doubt Mr.
(01:16):
Topaz will reach out soon.
Uh okay?
Bye-bye! Well, twins.
Huh?
Huh?
They were twins?
Uh good reminder.
I still need to reschedule yourappointment for an optometrist.
Hurry up, finish gettingdressed.
What is this?
SPEAKER_06 (01:34):
Uh, whiskey, I think.
Oh.
Nope.
Tequila! Where's the award showtaking place?
SPEAKER_03 (01:44):
The Intercontinental.
Downtown LA.
And we're in the Montebello, soit's gonna be tight.
SPEAKER_06 (01:50):
Who schedules an award show this early in the
morning?
SPEAKER_03 (01:54):
Willie, it's four in the afternoon.
And the award show starting atfive.
And as for who, it's the OrionAction Awards.
Would you finish gettingdressed, please?
We can talk in the limo.
SPEAKER_06 (02:07):
We have a limo?
SPEAKER_03 (02:08):
Yes, we have a limo! I got it for a sweet discount,
too.
Friend of a friend of a cousin'sfriend who's a member of the
Signari Club.
Will you get dressed?
Something formal, please.
We can discuss your questionablelife choices on the way out.
SPEAKER_06 (02:27):
You think my life choices are questionable.
SPEAKER_03 (02:32):
Just needed the extra thing.
Now, get dressed.
SPEAKER_06 (02:44):
Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (02:46):
Now that's a movie star.
How the hell did you change sofast?
Are you complaining?
No, no, you're right.
It's just uh it takes me 20minutes just to find my damn
shoes.
SPEAKER_06 (02:58):
Maury, limo's waiting.
SPEAKER_03 (03:02):
Where the fuck is the limo?
Oh, god damn those signaries!
SPEAKER_06 (03:07):
Relax.
I've got talent in the back.
SPEAKER_03 (03:09):
Talon?
Huh.
Please don't tell me you'reoffering to drive.
I get motion sickness whenyou're behind the wheel.
SPEAKER_06 (03:18):
That's probably from the 40 different chemicals you
have coursing through yourveins, not my driving.
SPEAKER_03 (03:24):
All right, all right.
You have a point, okay, okay.
But listen, listen.
Uh no need for Steve McQueen,all right?
This isn't bullet.
Ori, chill out.
SPEAKER_06 (03:34):
I was trained by the best.
SPEAKER_03 (03:37):
You were trained by Stan Barrett to turn into a
controlled roll and jump throughrings of fire.
Holy smoking shit! This is aPontiac Firebird transient
turbo! I think it just peed mypants a little.
SPEAKER_06 (03:52):
Again, probably from the zing.
Pop in.
SPEAKER_03 (03:59):
Another car.
I hope you lease this.
Paid in full.
Cash.
Hello.
Adding your spending choices tothe list of questionable life
choices.
And uh you're handing me ahelmet.
Why?
SPEAKER_06 (04:14):
This beautiful piece of machinery comes with a V8
engine and 210 horsepower.
It can go from zero to 60 inabout eight seconds.
That's out of the factory.
SPEAKER_03 (04:24):
Uh-oh.
Uh well, I feel uh uh uh a buttcoming on.
I'm right, right?
There's a big butt coming.
SPEAKER_06 (04:32):
But my man Maurice, he made a few modifications.
Uh-oh.
Um, what modifications?
You want some zinc.
I'll give you some zinc.
SPEAKER_08 (04:48):
I didn't even get to put the album!
SPEAKER_19 (05:03):
Two string TV proudly presents Topaz and
Stillman, an 80s adventure, atwo-string TV production.
Tonight's premier episode, RoughCut, starring Terry Frisco as
Willie Topaz, and Jim Frank asLaurie Stillman.
(05:24):
Written and directed by JasonBeard.
SPEAKER_06 (06:06):
Let me guess.
Uppers, downers, or half a poundof nose can?
SPEAKER_03 (06:12):
I'll have you know it was huevos rancheros.
So a poor choice.
SPEAKER_06 (06:18):
What a what am I up for?
SPEAKER_03 (06:21):
Best car chase action sequence.
SPEAKER_06 (06:24):
For which movie?
SPEAKER_03 (06:26):
Do you ever read the itinerary?
Brock Gatlin.
Sleep when I'm dead.
Ah, that car chase was dope.
Okay, okay, we're at theentrance.
Let me do all the talking.
Find out where we're sitting,okay?
SPEAKER_06 (06:41):
Uh Maury?
What is it, Willie?
SPEAKER_11 (06:45):
You still have the helmet on the winner for best
actor in Car Chase ActionSequences.
SPEAKER_03 (07:03):
Willie Top We did it.
How do I look?
Look like a crop on the bed andI'm working on a kid.
(07:26):
You look like a million bucks.
You probably freaking bucks.
SPEAKER_06 (07:34):
Thank you so much.
I want to thank the Orion FilmAssociation and their members
for this prestigious award.
First and foremost, I want tothank the manager of the
century, Maurice Stillman.
This award is as much his as itis mine.
I also have to thank the stuntcoordinator and crew.
I would not have been able togive such a powerful performance
(07:54):
without their skillful guidance.
Lastly, I just want to thank thefans.
All of you that pay to see BrockGatling, those that write me or
walk up to me on the street andtell me how much these movies
have meant to you.
You know, back when I was a boy,in those meager and humble
beginnings, I couldn't evenimagine an evening such as
tonight.
(08:15):
Thank you very much.
So, how did I do?
SPEAKER_03 (08:25):
Smooth as silk, my friend.
I couldn't help but notice ourfriend was shooting daggers the
whole time, though.
SPEAKER_06 (08:35):
Mr.
with a mercy.
Oh, he's always had a problemwith me.
Why?
I can't even remember.
Oh, I do.
SPEAKER_03 (08:43):
It's called jealousy.
Otherwise, known as envy.
And you know, that's one of thedeadly sins.
But don't sweat it.
Willie, this is your night.
SPEAKER_06 (08:55):
It's our night.
SPEAKER_10 (09:03):
Mr.
Topaz, Jamie Vernon withEntertainment Worldwide.
Thanks for sitting down with meand congratulations on your win
tonight.
SPEAKER_06 (09:11):
My pleasure, Jamie.
Yes, it was a big win for theBroad Gatling franchise and for
my team.
SPEAKER_10 (09:18):
I did happen to notice something I found to be
unusual during your acceptancespeech.
SPEAKER_06 (09:24):
My acceptance speech?
Well, yes, I should haveactually written something.
I was sort of winging it upthere.
SPEAKER_10 (09:31):
You alluded to your meager and humble beginnings,
but you didn't specificallymention your family, your mom
and dad.
SPEAKER_06 (09:39):
Uh, I I didn't.
SPEAKER_10 (09:41):
No, which brought me to this question.
Is there something about yourpast that led you to omit them?
SPEAKER_06 (09:48):
No, no, not at all.
I mean, obviously the support ofmy mom and dad helped me get to
where I am today, even if wedon't speak or see each other
that often anymore.
SPEAKER_10 (09:59):
Interesting.
So from the past, now let's looktowards the future.
What do you see for Willie Topeas the action star?
SPEAKER_06 (10:07):
Hmm.
Well, Jamie, I think sky's thelimit.
SPEAKER_15 (10:22):
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm just receiving a
breaking report.
Um, is is this accurate?
My god.
Ladies and gentlemen, sorry forthe momentary delay.
Um very sad to report that theactor Willie Topaz of Brock
Gatling and Archie Magnet famehas died.
(10:43):
He was only 33 years old.
SPEAKER_00 (10:46):
This is Tatiana Marigold's reporting.
Although details are scarce,Willie Topaz's death is being
investigated as a homicide.
Detectives did indicate they hada suspect, but no further
information was provided at thetime of this broadcast.
SPEAKER_13 (11:08):
The killer has not been written.
Sources close to theinvestigation report of the
murderer has been dubbed theForever Mind Killer.
SPEAKER_10 (11:15):
A recent recipient of the Orion Action Committee's
best performance during a carchase.
I asked Willie about his familyand the fact that they had
recently become estranged.
I do hope prior to his finalmoment, Willie was able to
reconnect with his parents.
Cleo reached out the same.
SPEAKER_12 (11:35):
This is Representatives with the express
family.
We reached out to his parents,Cleo would tell the same, but
they were unable to come.
Representative for the family tothis statement.
SPEAKER_11 (11:52):
It was a screen.
SPEAKER_19 (12:05):
He's gone.
Due to the pattern and themystic nature of the crimes, we
classified the suspect as aserial killer who is dangerous
and at large.
SPEAKER_04 (12:22):
Oh, there he is.
unknown (12:24):
Mr.
SPEAKER_04 (12:24):
Stillman, Mr.
Stillman, George Clement Streetwith the LAB.
We're so sorry for your loss.
Is there anything you'd like tosay to all the Brock Gatling
fans out there?
SPEAKER_03 (12:34):
Come on.
Guys, hey, it's really not agood time.
Look, Billy wasn't just mynumber one client.
He was my best friend.
SPEAKER_04 (12:49):
I'll miss him dearly.
Do you have any response to therumors that Rhythm Mercy, a
known rival and fellow actor,may be in the running to pick up
the Brock Gambling mantle?
SPEAKER_03 (13:02):
My response is to read.
SPEAKER_04 (13:21):
Well, folks, you heard it here first.
Certainly, no love lost betweenStillman and Mercy.
Time will tell what the futureholds for them all.
SPEAKER_01 (13:36):
Big news tonight: Rhythm Mercy has signed on to
narrate the brand new book, TheRise of Willy.
Yes, the same Rhythm Mercy whoonce clashed with Willie Topaz
in one of Hollywood's mostinfamous rivalries.
And if you recall, that feudraged right up until Willie's
tragic death.
And while the man is gone, thebad blood lives on.
Three decades later.
SPEAKER_16 (13:57):
I fucking hate Willie Topaz.
What are you doing?
We were recording.
I understand that.
But imagine my discontent.
I'm asking for some empathyhere.
SPEAKER_17 (14:14):
Oh, I'm sorry, and I'm just asking for a decent
lunchtime.
So do us both a favor,regardless of your discontent,
please just read the script.
SPEAKER_16 (14:28):
And if I refuse.
SPEAKER_17 (14:31):
Hey hey.
Rhythm.
SPEAKER_16 (14:33):
Mr.
Mercy, if you please.
SPEAKER_17 (14:37):
Okay.
Mr.
Mercy, you're essentiallyalready blacklisted from most
studios around town.
What's your point?
Well, my point is everyone knowsthe beef you had with Willie
Topaz, but considering this is arecording of his biography after
(14:58):
his death, do you really want itto be seen as this petty?
Do you really want it to bereported that you're now in
breach of contract?
I mean, let's face it, you needthis, don't you?
It's been what, almost 38 years?
So top of page two.
(15:20):
Top of page two, if you please,Mr.
Mercy.
SPEAKER_16 (15:27):
Rough Cut, The Rise of Willie, written by Maury
Stillman.
Read by Rhythm Mercy.
As all stories of icons should,the story of legendary excuse
me.
Really.
SPEAKER_17 (15:48):
This fucking guy.
Hey, we're burning daylight, Mr.
Mercy.
Take two, and we're rolling.
SPEAKER_16 (16:01):
As all stories of icons should, the story of
legendary action movie star,Vespian, humanitarian, and
Lothario Willy Topaz starts atthe beginning.
(16:27):
It's October 1st, 1953.
The United States and SouthKorea signed a mutual defense
treaty in Washington, D.C.
The number one song is TheVelvet Glove by Hugh
Winterhalter and his orchestra.
The number one movie in thecountry is The Big Heart by
Fritz Lang.
But most notably, Willie Topazwould enter this world at
(16:49):
exactly midnight in the birthingward of the Northwest Hospital
in Randallstown, Maryland.
And believe you me, the worldwould take notice.
Parents Cleo Ames, former trackand field Olympian, now
respected elementary schoolteacher, and Dallas Ames,
physicist and mentor, gave birthto a healthy seven-pound baby
(17:13):
boy.
SPEAKER_14 (17:14):
Oh Dallas, look at him.
Ha ha!
SPEAKER_20 (17:18):
We did it, Cleo! We?
Well, you did it, but I wascheering you from the sidelines.
Are you okay?
Can I get you anything?
I created these hydrationtablets if you're feeling
parched.
SPEAKER_14 (17:30):
No, honey.
I just want to look at ourbeautiful baby boy.
Oh my goodness.
He's he's exceptional.
SPEAKER_20 (17:40):
He definitely takes after you.
Mr.
and Mrs.
SPEAKER_19 (17:44):
Ames?
SPEAKER_14 (17:44):
Yes, Doctor.
Is everything okay?
SPEAKER_19 (17:47):
Oh, absolutely.
That is one healthy, handsomeboy you have there.
I'm holding your certified birthrecord here.
Uh, do you have a name for thisprecious child?
SPEAKER_20 (17:56):
Dallas.
Yes, doctor.
We're naming him after her olderbrother, Clayton Dunbar.
SPEAKER_19 (18:02):
Clayton Dunbar Ames.
That is one groovy name.
Oh, my.
Did you see this?
SPEAKER_16 (18:09):
So it would come to pass that the action star Willie
Topaz entered this world asClayton Dunbar Ames.
However, there would be anotherfootnote on this momentous
occasion.
The doctor notices an unusualmark on the newborn and slides
the blanket aside to reveal astar-shaped birthmark on the
(18:29):
child's back.
SPEAKER_20 (18:31):
Well, would you look at that?
It's almost a perfect star.
That's right.
My son will be an astronaut, anastronomer.
SPEAKER_14 (18:43):
No, baby.
I can tell.
He's gonna be a superstar.
SPEAKER_16 (18:55):
It's 1959.
Cleo and Dallas Ames would raiseClayton in Washington, D.C., off
of Belmont Street.
Young Clayton, a precocioussix-year-old, walks down the
booming U Street corridor withhis dodgy mother, where they
happen to pass by the RepublicTheater.
The Alfred Hitchcock film Northby Northwest is playing, and
(19:18):
there is a line of moviegoerswinding out of the entrance.
SPEAKER_14 (19:31):
Mommy, what is that place?
Oh, that is the RepublicTheater.
They play movies there.
Movies?
It's like watching TV, but on amuch bigger screen.
And you get to do it with yourfriends and neighbors.
It's so bright.
SPEAKER_18 (19:46):
Everyone is smiling.
SPEAKER_14 (19:48):
Would you like to go to the movies one day?
SPEAKER_18 (19:50):
Yes, mommy.
I'd like that very much.
SPEAKER_14 (19:52):
Okay.
I'll talk it over with yourdaddy, and we'll go sometime.
SPEAKER_18 (19:57):
Really?
Who's the man in the picture?
SPEAKER_14 (20:01):
Oh, that's a movie poster.
And the man on the poster isCarrie Grant.
He's the star of the movie.
A star?
A movie star.
He's an actor.
The actors are the ones who playin the movie.
They get to play.
In a way, yes.
They play pretend.
They pretend to be differentpeople with different names and
(20:23):
pretend to live someone else'slife.
SPEAKER_18 (20:26):
Grown-ups can play pretend?
SPEAKER_14 (20:28):
Some grown-ups, yes.
SPEAKER_18 (20:31):
Probably not daddy.
SPEAKER_14 (20:34):
No, your dad prefers inventing to pretending.
SPEAKER_18 (20:38):
Mommy, you called him a star?
SPEAKER_14 (20:41):
Yes, that's what they're called.
When they become famous.
SPEAKER_18 (20:44):
A star, like my mark.
SPEAKER_14 (20:47):
That's right, Clayton.
I believe you are destined forgreat things.
I feel that deep in my soul.
But I want you to understand.
Fame, being a star, in and ofitself, is of no value.
It's what you do with yournotoriety that matters.
SPEAKER_18 (21:05):
Notor.
notoriety?
SPEAKER_14 (21:09):
Notoriety.
What do you think that means?
SPEAKER_18 (21:13):
I think it means that we're getting ice cream.
SPEAKER_14 (21:18):
Okay, okay.
Ice cream it is.
SPEAKER_16 (21:24):
Willie would see his first movie in the Republic
Theater in the U Streetcorridor, as well as countless
more throughout the years.
Although he was an avidmoviegoer for the next four
years, the idea he could becomeone of the greatest actors of a
generation.
Son of a bitch!
SPEAKER_17 (21:43):
The greatest actor of a generation.
And we're rolling take three.
SPEAKER_16 (21:54):
The idea that he would become one of the greatest
actors of a generation neverdawned on him.
It wouldn't be until 1963 whenthe first hint of stardom would
present itself.
The first colonel that wouldbring about the iconic name
Willie Topaz.
SPEAKER_14 (22:13):
Leo!
unknown (22:14):
Leo!
SPEAKER_14 (22:15):
Yes, honey.
What is it?
SPEAKER_20 (22:17):
Can you ask Clayton to come here?
I need some help with thesemiconductor injection laser.
SPEAKER_14 (22:22):
Of course you do.
Now don't go burning down thehouse with that.
SPEAKER_20 (22:26):
Oh, not to worry, my darling dove.
Although, a solid-state laser.
The laser emitting diode will beinfrared in nature, emitting
coherent radiation.
SPEAKER_14 (22:38):
Dallas, will it burn down the house?
Well no.
Then I will go get our son.
SPEAKER_20 (22:49):
Okay.
Now son, very gently, lower thecasing down on the table.
Very good.
Okay, perfect.
Now, stand over by that lightswitch and when I tell you to,
flip the switch.
SPEAKER_18 (23:05):
That's it.
Just flip it.
SPEAKER_20 (23:09):
That's it, son.
SPEAKER_18 (23:11):
What will this do anyway?
SPEAKER_20 (23:13):
You see, when an electrical current is passed
through a diode, hence the lightswitch.
SPEAKER_18 (23:19):
Dad!
SPEAKER_20 (23:21):
We're going to generate a photon.
SPEAKER_18 (23:24):
A photon?
SPEAKER_20 (23:25):
Yes.
Now, get into position.
SPEAKER_18 (23:32):
Okay, I'm ready.
Flip it.
SPEAKER_20 (23:42):
Motherfuck! I mean Dad gummit.
SPEAKER_18 (23:48):
What happened?
SPEAKER_20 (23:50):
That would be the erbium.
Which I thought would be aperfect conductor for the lazy
wavelength of mission.
But it was all for naught.
Wanna take a ride?
SPEAKER_18 (24:03):
Where are we going?
SPEAKER_16 (24:05):
Willie's father, Dallas Ames, would bring his
impressionable son to thedistrict gym's rock and mineral
store in Washington, D.C.
Little would the manager oremployees of the store know that
within their walls walked afuture movie star of the highest
caliber.
SPEAKER_18 (24:25):
And what are we looking for again?
SPEAKER_20 (24:27):
We need a gem with high thermal conductivity and
one that is chemically inert.
If we can find one with ahardness of seven on the Mo
scale, even better.
SPEAKER_18 (24:37):
Okay, so something tough.
Got it.
SPEAKER_20 (24:39):
That's right.
Very good.
SPEAKER_18 (24:42):
Wow, what about these?
SPEAKER_20 (24:45):
Hmm?
Which one, son?
SPEAKER_18 (24:46):
Those golden ones are so pretty.
SPEAKER_20 (24:48):
They're yellow, technically speaking.
More commonly blue, but yes, Ithink you might have something.
Well, go ahead.
Pick one.
Nothing too perfect or smooth.
We need one with a rough cut.
SPEAKER_18 (25:00):
Rough cut.
Got it.
How about this one?
SPEAKER_20 (25:05):
Yes.
Yes, that may very well work.
Excuse me, sir.
Can I help you with something?
Uh no.
In fact, I think we found whatwe came for.
I can take that for you.
Keep it for you at the register.
Oh.
I see.
No.
(25:26):
That won't be necessary.
We're just about finished here.
Okay.
Well, let's make it quick, shallwe?
SPEAKER_18 (25:38):
What's his problem?
SPEAKER_20 (25:40):
Other than being an ignorant prick?
SPEAKER_18 (25:43):
Dad?
SPEAKER_20 (25:44):
Uh, don't tell your mom I said that.
SPEAKER_18 (25:47):
So what is it called?
The gem?
SPEAKER_20 (25:49):
Oh, yes, yes, yes, the gem, right.
It's called uh!
SPEAKER_04 (25:55):
You want it on set.
SPEAKER_16 (25:58):
It's 1981, and Willie is walking along the set
of the very first Brock Gatlingfilm, Brock Gatling, Six Smoking
Barrels.
Although a historic occasion inits own right, Willie has no
idea that he is about to reunitewith a childhood friend.
SPEAKER_03 (26:19):
Nice digs, right?
I built it into your rider.
Always have a top-of-the-linetrailer.
SPEAKER_06 (26:25):
Yeah, it's nice, Maury.
SPEAKER_03 (26:27):
Uh, thank you.
Willie, perk up, why don't you?
You hit the big time.
There's no telling where thiscould go.
What gives?
SPEAKER_06 (26:36):
It's the scenes today.
Have you read the sides?
I read contracts.
You read scripts.
Look, I could do fight scenes,shoot all kinds of guns and
stunt driving all day long, butthis scene is calling for me to
cry on cue.
SPEAKER_03 (26:55):
Well, sounds like you need the moss boss.
Nope.
Nothing?
Okay.
SPEAKER_06 (27:02):
Uh, you said that like you were expecting
something to happen.
SPEAKER_03 (27:06):
I mean the moss boss knows Meisner.
Check off, and hey, you know, Iwas kinda hoping for a smash cut
or something.
Okay, try it again.
Sounds like you need the mossboss.
SPEAKER_16 (27:25):
Clifford Moss, aka the Moss Boss, is an excellent
and talented actor in his ownright.
But the life of a single fatheroutweighed a path towards grits
and glamour, choosing to raisehis daughter rather than a life
in the spotlight.
This choice, however, gave wayto a promising career as an
acting coach.
SPEAKER_02 (27:47):
Maury, you know how much I hate that nickname.
Where's the little one?
My sister agreed to watch her,but I only have an hour.
So where is our actor searchingfor motivation?
Willie!
SPEAKER_03 (28:00):
We got the Marsboss here!
SPEAKER_02 (28:02):
Really, it's not a good nickname.
It doesn't even really makesense.
Clifford! I really appreciateyou coming on such short notice.
You're my prized pupil.
Plus, this looks like the realdeal.
Gotta get this performance down.
You wanna rehearse here?
I'll leave you both to it.
SPEAKER_03 (28:21):
I think craft service just opened.
Something called HuevosRancheros is on the menu, and I
must try it.
SPEAKER_06 (28:29):
Huevos Rancheros?
What are the ingredients?
Sausage patties and nose candy?
SPEAKER_03 (28:35):
I take offense to that, my friend.
Everyone knows I'm a vegetarian.
SPEAKER_02 (28:47):
Okay, uh, you have the sides?
Yeah.
Here you go.
Hmm.
So Brock is being held atgunpoint by the villain, Nader
Zane, where our hero learns thatNader was the one responsible
for Brock's parents' deaths.
Death by piranha.
(29:07):
What a way to go.
Then you relive your finalmoments with your parents and
cry.
SPEAKER_06 (29:16):
Hmm.
Yeah, that's the part.
I've never had to cry on demandbefore.
How much time do we have?
They've already called me toset.
SPEAKER_02 (29:24):
Okay then, we're fast forwarding to the moss
method.
Moss method.
I like it.
First step.
Hydrate.
Drink a ton of water.
Next, dabble in yoga.
Stretch it out.
The idea is to feel loose andreally connect with your body.
Do you know any yoga?
I know the downward dog.
SPEAKER_03 (29:43):
Dopaz, Nij John said, 30 seconds.
SPEAKER_02 (29:46):
Okay.
Time is of the essence.
Then assume the position.
Okay.
How long?
Yeah.
Yoga is not for the feign ofheart.
A couple more seconds.
SPEAKER_05 (30:04):
The human body is not supposed to bend like this.
SPEAKER_03 (30:14):
Okay, uh right, uh so I'm obviously here too soon.
I'll give you more time.
SPEAKER_02 (30:22):
Don't tell a soul, Maury.
Willie, relax.
Yoga is really starting to catchon.
Okay.
I feel loose.
What's next?
Okay.
Next, when it's go time, don'tblink.
If you feel the urge, shallowbreathe.
Uh it tricks the body intotearing up.
Or force a yawn.
(30:44):
Try it.
Yawn?
SPEAKER_06 (30:46):
A fake yawn?
SPEAKER_02 (30:47):
Yeah, just give it a go.
Uh did he work?
No fake yawns.
You yawn weird.
Okay, last shot.
Dig deep.
Find a real memory.
Something that cuts or dropBrock into that heartbreak and
(31:09):
feel it like it's yours.
That's when the tears come.
Can you think of any memory fromyour past you could draw from?
SPEAKER_16 (31:18):
Willie can think of such a memory.
One he has long shut out of hisconsciousness.
He thinks of the one who gotaway.
The one he yearns for to thisday.
SPEAKER_06 (31:31):
Yeah, there is one.
SPEAKER_02 (31:33):
She was uh the Oh oh, don't mention it.
Just hold on to it, leave itjust under the surface.
And when the time is right, letit burst forth.
SPEAKER_06 (31:48):
Burst forth?
Let it simmer until then, butdon't lose it.
Precisely.
SPEAKER_02 (31:56):
Yeah, ended the lesson.
Now I have to relieve my sisterbefore she disowns me.
Feel good?
Yeah, really good.
No.
You're supposed to feel likeshit.
Right.
SPEAKER_06 (32:09):
Utterly depressed.
Thanks, Clifford.
SPEAKER_02 (32:11):
Moss boss.
Oh god, don't let that catch on.
SPEAKER_03 (32:18):
Oh good.
You're upright again, huh?
I wasn't really comfortablehaving a conversation with your
ass.
We got lucky.
Apparently, the actress they hadcast to play the villain's
assistant dropped out, but theyhad a backup, so you weren't the
only cause of the delay.
But uh, I bought all the time Icould spare, so uh they really
need you on set.
(32:39):
You good?
SPEAKER_06 (32:41):
Nah, real shitty.
Fucking miserable.
SPEAKER_16 (32:53):
Willie walks from his trailer and into the studio.
He passes by the crew andexecutives.
They all whisper as he strollsby.
So, this is the new guy.
He's our star.
Yes, Carl Weathers wasn'tavailable.
He ignores the naysayers.
This is the moment he's beenwaiting for to show the world.
(33:16):
But even more so, his mother andfather, Cleo and Dallas Ames.
And their boy has finally madeit.
He holds his head high, walksonto the set, and immediately
stands at his mark.
The film's director walks overto Willie.
SPEAKER_04 (33:38):
Ah, Mr.
Topez! You have arrived! Been tothe costume and makeup yet?
SPEAKER_06 (33:44):
I do not think this is your wardrobe.
No, Mr.
Maxson.
But I'm ready to do this.
Let's go.
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no,Mr.
Maxon! Keefe! Just call meKeith! Yes, sir, Keith.
I'm ready.
It's Keith, not Keith.
(34:05):
But that is neither you northere.
For I am suddenly aroused byyour enthusiasm.
Yes, yes.
This is the look.
Your face, it needs no makeup.
It's perfect.
Oh, it's made of a marble and agranite.
It is so very hard and and amacho.
(34:29):
Look at you.
Oh, I could squeeze your cheeks.
SPEAKER_16 (34:34):
We roll.
The acclaimed actor Caleb Barkerenters the set, dressed in all
black.
The villain Nator Zayn, fullypersonified.
SPEAKER_06 (34:50):
Hey kid, so uh, I hear you're my arch enemy.
Yes, and I must say it's a realhonor.
SPEAKER_04 (34:59):
The honor is all mine, kid.
You got the goods from what Ihear.
Hey, let's do this for us today,okay?
Go out there and have some fun.
SPEAKER_06 (35:08):
Okay, I'm ready.
SPEAKER_04 (35:11):
Quiet on the set.
Sound.
SPEAKER_00 (35:14):
Sound rolling?
SPEAKER_04 (35:15):
Camera.
Camera's rolling.
SPEAKER_06 (35:19):
Okay, Mr.
Topez.
Let's make some magic together.
SPEAKER_11 (35:23):
Alright, scene 32, eh?
Take one.
Mark.
Action.
SPEAKER_04 (35:42):
Well, well, well.
It's the indomitable BrockKapling standing before me.
So to speak.
SPEAKER_06 (35:53):
Your reputation precedes you.
Your stench precedes you.
Oh, charming to the last, huh?
Slap in.
Always using others to get whatyou want.
Never getting your hands dirty.
(36:16):
Oh, I'm sure you view that ashaving power.
But I see it as weak andcowardice.
Oh, you do, do you?
Well, you see, I am wealthybeyond my wildest dreams.
Why do it myself when I can hiresomeone else to do it?
You're all these scapegoats.
(36:37):
Don't you see that?
I don't understand how you couldjust sit there in your
designer's suit and order anassault at the Pentagon.
Destroy a village in Prague, orkill your parents?
Fuck did you just say?
What did you just say, youbastard?
Oh yes.
You see, they slept so verypeacefully, unwillingly
(37:01):
unconscious as they were.
Then they became quiteterrified.
To wake up in a vat full offerocious piranha.
You're saying that was you?
Well, as you so succinctlypointed out, I gave the order.
(37:27):
You will see, Mr.
Catling, that this time I willuse my own hands.
But they still won't get dirty.
Bring in the chemist.
SPEAKER_05 (37:46):
You whack bastard son of a bitch! That was
supposed to be the best vacationof their lives! My dad had
finally retired.
Both of them had worked so hard,saving every penny to finally
take their dream trip to theAmazon.
Oh, such noble people! Fillersof their community.
(38:08):
They deserve to be honored, nottorn apart.
SPEAKER_16 (38:11):
Willie knows that with the next line, tears must
flow.
He reaches back into hismemories and unlocks an image he
has tried to forget.
A girl.
The most kind and interestingperson he had ever met.
The one that got away.
(38:35):
Lyric Dorsey, the one who hadcaptured his heart all those
years before, to his completeastonishment, now stood before
him.
She was the replacement actressfor the scene, and she had now
become a woman.
There she was, his unrequitedlove, standing only a few feet
(38:58):
away.
An ominous-looking syringe inher hand, ready to inject a
lethal dose into Brock Gatling'sveins.
Willie opens his mouth, hisbottom lip quivers.
He begins to tremble, and tearsflow down his cheeks as he
utters the defiant line.
SPEAKER_05 (39:18):
A king and queen amongst men.
And I will be offense and thecut.
SPEAKER_04 (39:40):
Oh my goodness, ladies and gentlemen, I I think
what we just witnessed was aperformance in its rawest and
the purest form.
My eyelids are moist from my owntears.
SPEAKER_06 (39:53):
I say this with the utmost satisfaction and
confidence.
We can break for lunch, let'sgo.
Lyric.
Lyric Dorsey.
Is that really you?
SPEAKER_09 (40:14):
Yes, it is.
I wasn't sure if you'd recognizeme.
SPEAKER_06 (40:18):
I've never forgot.
You're not an easy person toforget.
Um so you're an actor?
I wouldn't have thought.
SPEAKER_09 (40:29):
I never gave it much thought in high school, even in
theater class.
I didn't get bitten by the buguntil recently.
SPEAKER_06 (40:37):
Wow.
Amazing.
So how long are you with me, uh,with us on the shoot?
SPEAKER_09 (40:44):
Just a day player?
Last minute replacement.
Way different than you! You'rethe great rocketling.
You're the face of this.
I'm very proud of you, Willie.
And I'm sure your parents aretoo.
SPEAKER_06 (40:59):
Oh, um, yes.
They definitely are.
So what are you doing now?
I have a few scenes left today,but I'd love to catch up.
SPEAKER_09 (41:09):
Uh, you should join us tonight at the Eclipse Club.
It's in the Arch District off uhPalmetto.
My boyfriend will be performingsome spoken word poetry there.
SPEAKER_06 (41:20):
Oh, uh, your boyfriend?
SPEAKER_09 (41:23):
Yeah, uh, he's here actually.
He was hoping to meet you.
SPEAKER_16 (41:33):
Willie looks on with bewilderment as Lyric's
so-called boyfriend strides ontothe set.
He's dressed in a faux fur coatand wingtip shoes.
He has the facial expression ofsomeone who has complete disdain
by his surroundings.
Willie extends a hand, but theman just smirks.
(41:55):
He never returns the gesture orremoves his sizable shades.
SPEAKER_09 (41:59):
This is Willie, my friend from high school, the one
I told you about.
SPEAKER_06 (42:03):
It's nice to meet you.
Sorry, I didn't catch your name.
It's rhythm.
SPEAKER_16 (42:09):
Rhythm mercy.
SPEAKER_17 (42:22):
We were almost done.
I'm sorry, my brother.
SPEAKER_16 (42:27):
It's just so funny.
He may have had the career, butI got the girl.
SPEAKER_19 (42:50):
And that's a wrap on tonight's explosive adventure
with Topaz and Stillman,starring Terry Brisco as Willie
Topaz, Jim Frank as LaurieStillman, Damon Alams as Rhythm
Mercy, Lisa Stewart Lavon asCleo Aides, John Scott as Dallas
(43:14):
Aides, Diamondi Devereaux asLyric Dorsey, Eric Carlino as
Clifford Moss.
For full credits, see our shownotes.
Topaz and Stillman, an 80sadventure, is a shoestring TV
production written and directedby Jason Beard.
(43:35):
Want more parties, hot rods,explosions, and condom
commercials your mom woulddefinitely disapprove of.
Support us at patreon.comforward slash shoestring TV, or
look for us anywhere you listento podcasts.
And don't touch that dial,because coming soon, episode
two, The Cutting Room Part One.
(43:58):
This is Mike Cunningham saying,stay tuned!
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